The True Teacher within Yourselves - 6th October 2025

So what is the problem then? The problem, as always, is that the mind has no idea of what has transpired. So if you were to check now, 'What did I hear him saying? Big things like transformation will happen. What has changed about you? You sat for one hour. You sat for one hour in stillness.' This is the mind's voice. 'You sat for one hour in stillness. Half of the time you were distracted anyway. And look, at the end of the day, you didn't receive anything. You could have been much more productive with your time.' But remember that this point will really help you to remember that this is a very, very, very intimate and private communication happening between the Atma and our Antahkarana. So simply put, between God's light, God's presence, and our insides, there is a very private communication that is unfolding which at the gross layer of the mind, the intellect, we can't really fathom. In fact, it can be said that the Atma, the Holy Spirit, is turning our insides into itself. That which seems to have become more gross in a worldly way is now being transformed into the holiness itself.

So this is the process of spiritual transformation where what do we have to do? Actually nothing. We have to stop doing whatever we have been doing. And initially, the stopping of the doing will feel like a lot of doing, isn't it? Therefore, it is to stop. It is not to start something new. It is to stop or at least pause our process of thinking about things, solving things in our head. Yes?

Give her the B to Z of true knowledge. I'm always stuck in this part, something like, you know, I know that I don't have to go with the mind somewhere else, right? So I do...

You will understand something, but you will not be able to recognize how that understanding happened, you see. So what happens is that we are taught mostly—and again, words also may appear to us—but mostly we are taught in this silent transmission. And like I was saying, over a period of time, we are able to put that silent transmission, we are able to try and encapsulate some of it in concepts, mostly for the purpose of bringing others to the light. Right? So this is how God's light is spread, because our brothers and sisters are caught in concepts. Therefore, concepts are also provided to us mostly for this purpose of bringing them to the light as well.

Now, what is the use that we may have of concepts? Now, like you said, 'I keep feeling so for them.' We keep thinking that we will understand something one day out of this process as true knowledge. But what is the use of concepts for us now? What can you do with a concept? Have you explored this? Like, to have a concept of something is to know something. That's what we've been told: that I have the concept that the sun is so many million light-years away. So, you know, okay, suppose—okay, this could be really off the path—but suppose it is fifty, I don't know, fifty what, light-years away. Let's say fifty light-years away. So now you have this fact which sounds like a fact. What did you actually come to know? Just you have a fact now which pretends to be knowledge, but there is nothing direct about this knowledge. You see, there is nothing experienced about it at the deepest level.

You see, so in the world we are stuck, and even in spirituality, actually, most of our brothers and sisters are stuck in trying to understand a lot of conceptual information which doesn't translate into true knowledge because we never leave ourselves empty for that transmission to happen. So once you start allowing yourself to remain in this true knowledge, then you will see the pointlessness of just conceptual knowledge. So at best, then, the concepts that we learn become pointers for us to remind ourselves not to go off track. And just we need a few pointers just to keep us within some guardrails so we don't fall off the track, you know, it's like just like that.

So, coming to Satsang is when we make the attempt to not gather too much conceptual language. You see, that is the point even of the notebook, is that we make some notes of the pointers and then we dive into them to contemplate deeply, not as the pointers themselves. And the only purpose of them being that they could be reminders for us to return to that holy place. You see, so the quest has to be true knowledge, where 'T' is capital and 'K' is capital, and that is not found in conceptual information. And that takes some getting used to. It takes some getting used to because the mind will keep poking you and saying, 'So what did you understand? You see, are you there yet? Are you there yet?' And how to judge if you're there yet? 'What did you understand?' You see, so it can be that after ten years of Satsang, all that we may be able to say is that I have just understood that I cannot understand. Basically, at the level of concept and intellect, that understanding may be very helpful. It's a negation of conceptual understanding that can be understood.

So Atma Gyan is not to be found... this, that's a good point. That's exactly what I wanted to read today. I found this beautiful video on YouTube which talks about the Sufis. Maybe it's because all of you started coming, so maybe that is why the Sufi video came. So they said that there is a kind of knowing that no book can hold, no lecture can deliver, and no argument can prove. No book can hold, no lecture can deliver, and no argument can prove. Are you getting the difference between Satsang and a spiritual lecture or a spiritual discourse? So that will... a spiritual discourse can just make an argument and we may conceptually be in favor of that argument or reject the argument, but it has nothing to do with the kind of knowledge that we are talking about in Satsang. The truth of Satsang is this knowledge.

They say the Sufis call it—and forgive my pronunciation—but the Sufis call it Marifa. Direct experiential recognition of the real. Direct experiential recognition of the real. And Jotima will help me with this, but this is exactly what is called Aparoksha in Vedanta. Direct, without using any instrument, without taking any time, instant recognition of something which shows us our oneness with the highest. That is called Aparoksha Anubhuti in Vedanta, and today I learned that it is called Marifa in the Sufi. So Marifa, from the Arabic root 'harafa,' means to know through direct recognition, not mere conceptual understanding.

So is that part clear? Like direct recognition, not through conceptual understanding. I've often taken this example that if I look at this and I don't know what to call this—is it a glass, is it a tumbler, is it a flower pot?—I can't really tell. I can, but suppose... so I don't have a name for it, but I can still use it to drink. So in this case, I recognize something in a perceptual way, but I may not have the concept of it, and still it can come to use. Now there is a deeper understanding which is neither conceptual nor even perceptual. You can't even see it with sight, or hear it in hearing, or no senses can come to any use. Getting the point? It is that direct that doesn't even need the intermediation of senses, doesn't need the intermediation of concept. They just met at a very deep place.

You see, so years in Satsang we have spent where I have troubled everyone asking: what is that instrument which is beyond perception and beyond thinking? Where can you receive such knowledge? That is the very place that we are calling the holy place. The heart temple, the heart altar, the sanctum sanctorum, whatever you want to call it. It is not a place, but it may be helpful to be able to meet as a place within ourselves. Like, it will not show up in an X-ray machine or a CT scan. 'Oh, there you go, deep in there is a temple inside you.' It will not show up in any scan. And yet the truth of it is undeniable from my direct experience and from the experience of so many through thousands of years, and through many of you being able to testify to the presence of something which is not really a thing, but a pristine holiness within yourselves. So remember how we started Satsang—I doubt we started Satsang by saying 'How can I help?'—and what is the form of help that can be provided is to bring you to the true teacher within yourselves.

It will not show up in any scan. And yet the truth of it is undeniable from my direct experience and from the experience of so many through thousands of years, and through many of you being able to testify to the presence of something which is not really a thing but a pristine holiness within yourselves. So remember how we started satsang? I doubt we started satsang by saying, "How can I help?" and what is the form of help that can be provided is to bring you to the true teacher within yourselves. The true teacher within yourselves, within your true selves, is the Atma itself, the Holy Spirit itself.

So the path of satsang is to empty ourselves from ourselves. Their words can seem very poetic but they're extremely practical. Let me translate. There is no "me," nothing mind and myself anymore. Whatever there is is only yours. So don't just hear it or read it as beautiful romanticization of our relationship with God. It is that, but it is also very practical advice. Getting the point of that, that our constant endeavor must be to be able to emulate that sage who wrote these words. So let go of what we are holding on to in the world, in the mind, in our intellect, in our judgment. Become empty for God and offer everything to him with a loving heart.

Why you sharing one message? Way of connecting with God. What I understand is the message is the way you even attributes you even on that because it's more than that beyond our imagination inside. So I call it very sit.

So whether we say apophatic or Neti Neti or the cloud of unknowing, in every spiritual path we have been told that ultimately all imagery, all attributes, all our thinking has to be left behind. All our visualizations have to be left behind. All our understanding has to be left behind to come to the innocence of a child, you see, who is not conceptualizing anything. And in that empty, in that open and empty, we come to exactly what we are talking about. The Atma is revealed in that holy place where we are completely unsupported by any visualization or conceptualization. Even the highest concept of God now is left behind.

Like the Buddhist may say, "If you see the Buddha, kill him," which can sound very horrible. It still sounds horrible, but this is what they were trying to say: that you come to such a place where you leave behind everything. Father Thomas Keating said it in a more tasteful way probably there. He said that in your contemplative prayer, even if Mother Mary comes to you, say to her, "Not now, dear, I'm in contemplative prayer right now." A very strong statement to me. So know that in letting go of the highest concept and letting go of the highest visualization, when our intention is to meet God in the deepest way, but it is not a held intention in terms of concept—it's just a heart yearning—now then, if there was some true vision that had to be seen or true conceptual understanding that had to be received, that will not be lost. It will still be with you. So we can safely let go of everything in our emptiness for God. Yeah.

So, and the Vedantic practice of Neti Neti is just that. The question is given to us: "What is real?" And the rule is given to us. There is no fundamental principle behind the rule; it is just a guideline. Okay? Which is what? That everything that changes is not real, and you must focus only on that which is real. You see? So how do you start the process? Say, "Oh, the world is visible to me, but it is changing." You see, everything that is received through my outer senses is constantly changing. So I am not that. The body has these sensations. Both these sensations are constantly changing between pain and pleasure. The body itself is constantly changing. So I am not that. My thoughts are constantly changing. So I'm not that. Imagination, memory, constantly changing. So I'm not that. Emotions, even primal sensations, constantly changing, so I'm not that. What is that point we come to where we are no longer able to say, "I'm not that"?

They've thrown out all the highest concepts. Like the Ribhu Gita, we throw out everything including guru, disciple, all concepts during the process of our sadhana. We let go of every emotion, even the holiest emotion, except that if you feel that we cannot remain empty, completely unsupported. So if you find that I become inward-facing then easily distracted by the mind, then you may use the name of God or you may anchor yourself in a love for God. So anchored in this way, we may not be that easily distracted.

Then they said, so we talking about the direct knowledge. It is the wine that flows from cup to heart without ever touching the lips. Cup to heart without ever touching the lips. We often used to say that in satsang what is being shared is from heart to mouth without going to the head. That's what makes it true satsang, that it is shared from that holy intuitive place and shared as uncontaminated by the speaker's concepts or ideas as uncontaminated by that as possible. So this is similar to that; it is shared from cup to heart without ever touching the lips. And I would dare to add that this cup is a holy cup which is within ourselves. It is not an outside cup. So that silent transmission that we've been speaking about is the process by which this knowledge is received.

When God falls in the heart only and transition in a way, in a way that actually then it is infused in that. Usually it comes with some evidence of the outpouring, you see? And the outpouring in the form of feeling loved, feeling even feeling just very fresh on the inside or feeling like the question that you had went away. So all of these are God's way of reassuring this, reassuring us even on outer level that we can come to peace in this way. So the coming to peace may be a good indicator of what is being infused, but can we really rely 100% on the outpouring every time? We can't. So, some part of it, like I said earlier, is always going to be a mystery. It's always going to be a mystery. Mystery to our intellect, to our mind. And it is known, like you said, in the heart itself. I'm sorry.

Keep the mind this one. But this is speaking. Sometimes when I'm like put in like the holy place, like something in me is like speaking but it's not necessarily like I'm not intending to. So it's like, or like when you feel that the sense of being carried by God and or when you ask like a question like, "What sees this?" or "Where is the source of my being coming from?" Like you said that it's not like it doesn't like see like in a word like what how I'm speaking like in these human words, that something is happening inside, inside the vastness. And in that also there is also like a quality aspect of it, but you cannot like point to it like a shape or like this computer or something. But something like very primal, like a primal is like one with existence itself and from that something says like, is grateful and or like "Thank you" or like looking because sometimes I as well it's like seeing like the immensity and then like seeing how sometimes like my lack of faith still happens like in daily things and how sometimes I still find myself maybe even worried about something. And I see the, like compared to like the immensity of that, it's like the entire human story is very tiny. And so like something in me is very like, I just want to just check if I'm buying into a falsehood by allowing that, but it's something in me just feels thank you because it's just feels very grateful and that how merciful. And also because maybe on my conditioning of how God was first of all like a very human, in a very human way where if you like do something disrespectful she's going to send you to hell because of my conditioning. And so seeing that although he's not to be taken for granted, but seeing that God's love is so like, it just forgives everything, you know? And it cleans like the entire being itself and because of that is something just feels to say thank you. And even in it's not even a thank you in words, it's like I don't feel like I'm saying it in the same way I don't feel it's like the Holy Spirit is inspiring the gratitude to come out somehow. It feels like that. And I still really like marvel at how I feel like I just feel so grateful. I don't know. I just feel because when in that it's like everything else is very tiny. But at the same time I still find that something is not able to, like in that faith and in that unshaken faith, like something is not working it fully truthfully. That's how I find it and but I'm very grateful still. I'm very grateful. I'm so grateful that you're here and that words are so, they just reflect and they just reflect so deeply through.

This is very good that a feeling of gratitude may come over us. We may not even realize what we are saying thank you for. So that's a very good sense that we get of this holy transmission happening in our heart, that an inexplicable gratitude comes over us. It's very good. So this gratitude can come also. You may receive like a spiritual intuitive insight, spiritual truths which you've never thought about before, which you never tried to think about, but suddenly it's received as a gift. See, so that Atma crystallized in some way may be received. And we may think that this holy knowledge, this Atma, is only about what is our true self, what is reality. No, but remaining in this silent transmission also indicates to us what is God's will. You see, maybe not in words, but if you remain empty and stay with in that holiness, then you can allow yourself to your outer seeming movements to unfold in that natural way that is not in opposition to God's will.

So otherwise to follow God's will would seem like such a difficult project because even when after our prayer we feel like I have received this instruction, it takes a long while before we are able to really distinguish between the heart's voice and the mind pretending to be the heart's voice. That is like the cause of much frustration at times, that "What am I supposed to do?" So if our endeavor is to remain empty and we allow just the movement to unfold from there, that is to follow God's will as well. In any case, in my experience, God's will when we are even instructed about it, it is usually an instruction which we need to apply with a lot of faith because we are told about the next half step. We are not told about "This is where we are leading to."

Like in the sharing of satsang, just the next word or half the sentence is provided and you just jump with faith. And I notice that sometimes the mind hears then says, "But where is this going?" But I promise you that it has not let me down so many years of sharing satsang. So but we need to have faith because we don't know where this is going, what is the point. Sometimes we don't. So our lack of faith can come in the form of saying that "Till you tell me the whole picture, I don't know, I am not." See, it is not going to happen. You see, or rarely going to happen at all. Even if you conceptualize some version of where we have to go after taking one step, that may change.

That's why there's so many stories of following masters being so frustrating because they say, "Okay, do this. Let's do that. This is where we're going." Then midway through they say, "No, no, let's go somewhere else. This is where we are going. This is what we're doing." So we have to, it is practice for following the path because in our faith they just eat us in very small bites and maybe it is better for us not to know the full picture. So we can never use the filter of the mind to try and get a sense of whether I'm progressing in this or not, because the mind will always say, "Nothing happened. What are you smiling about? Nothing happened." It can be the voice of this oppressive mind. Because many times just sitting quietly you feel with so much joy and peace. Mind doesn't like it. "You're far from this what he's talking about. You're far from this."

It must eat us in very small bites and maybe it is better for us not to know the full picture. So we can never use the filter of the mind to try and get a sense of whether I'm progressing in this or not, because the mind will always say nothing happened. 'What are you smiling about? Nothing happened.' That can be the voice of this oppressive mind. Because many times just sitting quietly you feel with so much joy and peace. Mind doesn't like that. 'You're far from this what he's talking about. You're far from this.' But remember that nobody is far from this because this is the most intimate—before mind, before emotion, before anything from our senses. This is so. The mind is judgment.

You may be sitting happy. But do you know that happens? I mean, so then if it says intuitively, yeah, I mean, you experience, you're experiencing the outpouring, then also intuitively you know that something is transforming in my heart.

She was saying from in the heart itself you know. Yeah. If the mind says 'I have progress,' then is it to be believed or not? You know what I mean? It's like it can also be everything in the mind. That itself tells you that there's more to our knowing than the conceptual knowing of the mind. And it is not... the mind's ways of knowing are very cruel, very binary, very gross. You're being good or you're being bad. This is right or this is wrong. But our heart is much more nuanced. Nobody's either good or bad. Nobody's either right or wrong. It's a full tapestry. It's a full canvas. And seeing this about ourselves and about our brothers and sisters, then we are able to live in a much more open and forgiving way.

Especially when we realize that everybody's affliction is the same. It is Maya, or the Christians may call it the devil. You may call it the mind. So the affliction is always the same. What are our judgments about? So neither can we truly judge ourselves nor can we judge anyone else because our mind is a very crude, primitive instrument. What are the ways in which this transmission happens? And there may be thousands of ways, but from my experience, sometimes it feels like you're under arrest, like 'chup-chap baitho' [sit quietly], you know? The spirit takes a hold on us, makes us sit like a student in school, you see. So inwardly what that looks like is that you're just pulled. And then the holy light transforms us from the inside like that when we are under arrest.

Then other times it feels like there's a system. I don't know if all of you have seen these photo booths? You walk in and the flash comes and it takes ten photos or like that. So sometimes it's like you walk into the photo booth to be, you know, like under tanning light or something like that where you just enter willingly. You're not under arrest, but you want to go there. So just go in to be under the holy rays of the Atma. Many, many textures of all of this can happen. I can read some more and close.

Coming to satsang is a way to... I've called it a hack, a cheat code, various computer terminology I've used in the past. Really it is that, no? Because we are so caught up in the world. If we didn't have the... if by God's grace we didn't have satsang in our lives, then all of this would seem too far-fetched. So coming to satsang has given us all the taste of what is being spoken. See, and then it's very beautiful because that same taste, the same fragrance, can be followed within ourselves. Whatever we are tasting, whatever we are finding, we're finding within ourselves. Even though we may be sitting in a satsang environment outside, but the true satsang is happening on the inside and that seeds in us that beautiful fragrance which we're able to then zero in on when we're sitting by ourselves as well.

And that is why we must allow satsang to continue even long after the physical satsang is over. So use that opportunity of what is seated in us. Keep fanning the flame with our prayer, with our inquiry, but allow it to burn us up completely. Burn the false completely. Anything that can be burnt must be burnt. See, so a lot of things will come to be burnt. So far what we've spoken sounds very only beautiful, beautiful, but a lot of things when this is happening, when the inner transformation is happening, you see, it can be much more painful than even trying to transform the body. You have to break the tissue and then rebuild the tissues. And in the process of becoming stronger inwardly, also a similar process happens where our old conditions which are so deeply held have to get shaken out of us.

And we don't want to leave them because we believe only those things which we take to be true, you see. But it keeps us... because these conditions keep us in a very primitive mindset, a caveman/cavewoman mindset, which is: 'I am this body, you are that body, you did this, I did that.' No, it is a very crude way to live. But we value that right now. We value our righteousness. What we think we know about others and about ourselves, we value that very deeply. But we don't realize that this is what is blocking us. We cannot live like an Atma in the world, like the spirit in the world, if we have so many conditions, if we have so many judgments.

Through the transformation, in the process of transformation, a lot of held baggage, held pain, held resentment will also be released. Forgiveness will happen. Atonement will happen. But it's not always fun. Just physical trauma may be getting released for some of us because as we are cleaning up on the inside, then all the muck has to come out. And know that what we experience is just the bare minimum required to transform us. See, in His mercy He absorbs most of it anyway. But what is bare minimum is what is required to keep us humble, to keep us in servitude. So many times it is not all goody-goody feelings that we may feel after our practice. You may feel some old anger is coming. Some old resentment is showing up and we may wonder, 'But I thought I was over this.' It was just a thought until it has been fully met and released in this way.

But remember that the Atma is the most kind teacher. Atma is the kindest teacher. So you'll never have something given to you on your plate which is more than you can handle in reality. Yesterday Chandai and I were talking about this where I was saying that there is that which we experience and then there is that which the mind says we are experiencing. So if we keep it at that which is the content of our experience in the present moment, then it is never too much. But if we go with the mind's version of what is happening to us, it is often too much because the mind wants us to be reliant on its narratives. You getting this point?

So there is what we are experiencing. Even within Maya there is a set of experiences we are having. The set of experiences by themselves are never too much. But when we buy into the story of what is happening to us, that makes it unbearable. Like what is happening at any point of time, suppose your child is lying to you. So you may be feeling some experience of grief, sadness, some anger may be coming into it. But it's never too much like 'my life is over.' It's happening. But when we go to the mind's narrative of what's happening, then that can paint a very, very faithless picture. Faithless is what is trying to make us think that there is no hope, there is no chance, God has abandoned us. 'Father, why have you forsaken me?' In a way, that was a cry for all of humanity, tasting humanity's pain in that one instant. You see that primal cry in all of us saying 'God has forsaken me.' So that was represented in that moment.

But often we feel that. But we feel that then we think that the mind's version of what is happening to us is true. Try to see if you can spot this: the difference between the actual experience in the moment and what the mind says. And the mind can play the reverse trick also—a denial that prevents us from meeting everything naked, that prevents us from meeting everything empty. It just puts us in this strange la-la land world of denial. That's how things get pent up and pent up and then in our prayer, in our sadhana, it has to be released. So it either exaggerates or there's nothing, deny everything. Good. Just don't point it this way otherwise it'll get feedback. Point this towards us. What happened? Breathe. Reduce the volume. Yeah. Try. That was too low.

Okay, just keep the mic up. That's it. I was stressed. I was very stressed. I saw...

Lose your job?

Yes. Slow down. Slow down. For example, like for me, I get tired. I'm tired this much. I can't obviously, so I struggle with... but for good.

So that's what I was saying, that the mind's attempt is to try and make us self-reliant, smallest self, be the judge of how much we can do or can't do, be our main narrator, tell us what is happening to us. So it takes a lot of faith to let go of this mental narrative and to have faith in God. Because the mind can also play the other trick which is to say that, 'No, now you don't have to manage anything at all, your tiredness, just say yes to everything and God will handle it.' But notice that that can also be a mental position. To fully be sensitive moment to moment to being empty and remaining in our heart and allowing God to move us from there.

Yes. I mean, remember that once we notice the trick of the mind, then the mind can also say, 'Ha, well played, well noticed,' and then propose the opposite position. That so far you were just trying to manage your energy fully and try to do this and do that. Now we will do the opposite. But notice that that can become a new position by the mind itself. So don't fall into either. So that neutrality is difficult because the mind will complain and say, 'But what am I meant to do then?' That we'll know only moment to moment. Getting it? So no opposites, because the mind can play this game very well. Even when you're noticing things it'll say, 'Well noticed, what we should do is this,' and then in a few years you may notice, 'Oh, that was also a mind position, so let me do the opposite.' So we keep jumping between opposites. That is not the idea. The idea is to just be like little children holding God's finger wherever He leads us moment to moment.

And that takes some sadhana, that takes some practice because we are so conditioned to following the Maya. So it's not a quick fix that once I notice this, I'm free from that condition. Not necessarily, because the opposite condition is also the same condition. So it can be that the mind always stopped me from doing this, now I'm going to do everything. But that 'now I'm going to do everything' can also be a new condition. So it takes us time to become innocent in that way. That transformation, all of this can only happen if you're spending time in that photo booth with the Atma.

By God's grace everything is possible, but I would say it'll be very, very rare for us to have that much faith, patience, gratitude, humility, especially unless we are spending a lot of time in the holy light. So from there all the gifts can come and we have to be careful of any attempt to make sense out of it. It may not make sense for a long time. That's why we need faith. So that needs a lot of faith, not to make conclusions about our progress. Especially if spirituality is our main thing, then our spiritual progress... can we really gauge? I can't. I can't gauge my spiritual progress after being on this path for so long. By inference we may be able to say that, 'Okay, he's sitting at the satsang chair, so many are listening to him, so he must have progressed,' you see? But that's just a very crude sort of inference. What can we really say?

So don't attempt to use the mind-intellect organism as a gauge for what is happening to you spiritually. We were talking about this the other day: is my sadhana going well or badly? There's no way that we can tell through these conceptual means.

By inference, we may be able to say that, okay, he's sitting at the satsang chair, so many are listening to him, so he must have progressed, you see? But that's just a very crude sort of inference. What can we really say? So, don't attempt to use the mind-intellect organism as a gauge for what is happening to you spiritually. We were talking about this the other day: is my sadhana going well or badly? There's no way that we can tell through these conceptual means. We just have to let go to an extent where, really, like you said, the way Ram Ji keeps us is the way we are meant to be. You must be content with that. It's not like a mind saying, 'My position,' and 'I'm just checking this.'

Do you really have to truly and still the mind going to just leave? It's just a pointer for us not to go there. Like, I don't have to waste time thinking about whether I'm progressing or not progressing because He's taking care. That is the faith.

That faith is like—yes. I mean, I can say it mentally also. It has to be a lived faith, like true, one time. Because all of these things then allow us to be empty for God. They become the environment in which that emptiness can happen. Otherwise, it's so simple, isn't it? And I tried this for a few years where anyone who would come would mostly hear that: just be empty. Just remain open and empty. And are you doing it? Yeah. Are you open and empty? So, and maybe it is helpful at some level. But I feel like these foundational things also got added to the sharing because they could be helpful for many more. Then who cares? Maybe if you are very spiritually mature or by God's grace in some way, you may just be able to follow 'open and empty' like that.

But when the rubber hits the road, it's not easy. Maybe it's easier when you're sitting in a satsang hall undisturbed. Actually, there could be many mental disturbances even here. 'Why does he always have to ask a question?' and 'She always has to say this,' you know, something, something. There could be a lot of disturbances in satsang halls, so we can't really see. But maybe it is easier with the support which is there in satsang for us to just remain in the unknown. But from my experience, I see that this foundation is very important. So if you can just be open and empty, then you don't need to know that there's a holy transmission which happens in your heart. What is the point of sharing about it? Because, like St. Teresa of Avila was saying, we need to be told all of these things. So it keeps us on the path, you know, keeps us encouraged on the path and keeps us really patient and faithful. Otherwise, you can just say, 'Forget it, just be empty,' which I've tried for many years also to express.

Maybe Marifa, unlike ordinary hearing, does not come from reading. It arrives as a light cast into the heart by the one who knows. The one who knows. Who is the one who knows? Marifa, unlike ordinary learning (which is in brackets: discursive or book knowledge), does not come from reading. Basically, it does not come from concepts. It arrives as a light cast into the heart by the one who knows. So the one who knows is God Himself in the form of the Atma within, the form of the Holy Spirit within. Also, Al-Hallaj said—I lived in the Middle East for a couple of years—he was the ecstatic martyr of Sufism. He put it starkly. He said, 'The knowledge of God cannot be carried by books nor written in lines. It is carried only in hearts.' That is why wherever, whichever tradition you look at in the world, you will find the Guru-disciple parampara. You will find a lineage. You will find that this knowledge—the outer trigger for that unfolding in our hearts—seems to be the carriers of this in their hearts. Even in the outer meeting, it becomes an important trigger for the spark to be lit in us. That's why outer teachers hold an important place, and of course, in India, they hold a place of very, very big reverence. They say that the Guru is the bringer of the light, the dispeler of darkness.

And often we've discussed about what is the type of light that the Guru brings. It's not a worldly light. It is the light in which that which is beyond perception can be seen—'seen' in quotes. And truly, it is the true Guru, the Satguru within our hearts, who can do that. But the outer Guru is God's grace in our lives to start to build the relationship with the inner teacher because you taste the same fragrance. If it is God's grace, you taste the same fragrance, and that fragrance reminds you of the very holy place within yourself. So this light, like the sage said, is carried in hearts. It cannot really be carried in any books. So you may then say, 'Then if reading can't do it, then why are we reading this?' You're getting the distinction. The reading is serving as a pointer, as a reminder, as a trigger of something which is deeper, felt more deeply, intuited more deeply.

Okay, I should not—I just say it like this. Try how Ram keeps us, that's how I feel. Like even failures on the spiritual path, like say war against passion or surrender not being surrender when you choose to—even that, if you say you trust about even this, is that surrender?

It is a lot of fails. Like last time we were discussing that my job is to keep turning towards Him and let nothing confuse me or take me away from that job, but also to know that everything that is apparently happening to me is only happening by His will. So we must never make it the reverse, that 'my turning to Him will happen'—it's a very popular tendency in India. That is true at a crudder level, but let's not make it an excuse to not turn towards God. Often it happens when I say to someone, 'Why aren't you coming to satsang?' They say, 'You're not calling.' No, I'm calling! Please come. I really call him. So, let's not surrender that. Let's keep that turning to God in our scope of what we can do, and keep in the bracket of God's will everything that happens seemingly externally to us.

The bracket of God's will. So the example of even Satan having to take God's permission before testing Job. Nothing happened to us without God's permission. Treat it like that. But we have to keep that job of continuously turning towards God away from individual want, individual desire, individual identity.

Something that I heard in Science Studio: 'Do your best and leave the rest.' Your best, and then everything else.

Very good. Very good way to hear. Never hand over your responsibility of loving. No matter how high-sounding the spiritual concept may be, that is my limited experience after wandering through so many different branches of spirituality. Because Maya will take away time, and Kabir Ji has told us the opportunity doesn't come again and again. Why would he provoke us like that if you couldn't turn to God? There's no need for that provocation. Or if you want it simpler: as long as you can feel like you can do anything at all, do this first. If you can lift a pen, write on a paper, and your mind tells you you are doing that, then you're still taking yourself to be the doer. Why be the non-doer only on the spiritual project? So that can be another rule. As long as I take myself to be the doer or experiencer in anything at all, then let me do this which we have been told to do for thousands of years by the greatest sages.

Father, yes. I see some energy that is not letting me connect with God right now because of this. There is some concept about Guru, and I also feel this resistance to ask for help, which is counterproductive. I'm using these fancy words which I didn't expect. That's probably because I'm hiding something. But I just want to ask for your blessing and light and guidance. Thank you. And also offer this up and any other concept that—

Oh, the last part. Can you repeat?

I said I just want to offer these energies and confusion up to God and anything else that can remember that.

Maya's playing the resistive energy towards turning to God. Loving God also is accompanied usually with a resistance towards the teacher and the teaching. You see, because without that, it knows it cannot succeed in taking you away from God. If it did not simultaneously make you resistive to satsang, teacher, and teaching in whichever form, then it knows that it'll be checkmated soon and these energies will not be able to do their job. So it will happen, mostly happen together. Like when somebody is resisting being dissolved in God, then that is often accompanied by a tantrum against me or whoever the teacher may be. So, but it doesn't always have to be an outer tantrum. It can be an inner resistance. It's very usual for it to work like that. And that is why when we spot it, we must just dive in fully into our love for God. Whatever helps us, whether it is our practice, whether it is listening to a devotional song, whatever helps us to return to our true home. We must not allow the mind to say, 'Okay, today you're in this moment, so let's forget it today. Let's see. We'll see tomorrow.'

Yeah. Times I've seen that that tomorrow never comes. This is what actually pushed me to put my hand up because I saw also this postponement for tomorrow, but there is no tomorrow.

Tomorrow, yes. But even if there was, I've seen that many, many brothers and sisters who come to satsang then say, 'Okay, one day, today I'm a bit tired, I won't go today,' and then they sometimes go missing for years.

Yeah, like the gym thing. Because today I'm not going to work out, today I'm a bit tired, then you don't work out for six months after that.

No, I don't work out. Yeah, it happens like that. Why does it only happen with good habits like that? A bad habit I don't do for a day, I can come back to it very easily the next day after. Because the grasp of the illusion can be quite quick. It traps us like that, no? It corners us more and more. Like Kabir Ji said, she is the biggest con artist. This Maya is the Mahatagini.

Yeah. I also liked what Tibu said in this little book, that he said that the mind energy will make the awareness to vibrate in the same resonance. What I understood—it's not exact words—but what I understood is when mind comes, it's just going to attract more mind energy. And I've seen myself, like because I had some time without the children, it's easier to practice more when you're just by yourself and focused on this, and it's easier to get distracted when there is more activity.

And there are other energies around you that where you engage. But you're right. It is true like that, that if the environment is more conducive to us sitting silently, then it is. But we don't really know what is the better practice: to turn more towards God when there are more distractions, to take that difficulty on and to attempt to turn towards Him although unsuccessfully on many occasions? Whether that is a higher practice, or when just the silent sitting is much easier, whether that is the higher practice? I don't feel like our intellect or mind has the capacity to make that judgment. So what we then just have to trust is whatever life situation that God has given us at that period of time is whatever is best suited for our practice then, because we have no way of gauging that.

Yeah. And I remember you said in one satsang a long time ago that God is more rewarding towards the one who's trying in adverse or so-called perceived apparent adverse conditions.

I would feel so. I would feel so, that that has to count more. That has to—in a way, we apply the human principle to it—that if my son called me in the middle of exams and some other health condition and some other distraction and still he remembered to call me and said, 'Love you...'

Because we have gauging that. Yeah. And I remember you said in one satsang a long time ago that God is more rewarding towards the one who's trying in adverse or so-called perceived apparent adverse conditions. I would feel so. I would feel so that that has to count more. That has to in a way we apply the human principle to it that if my son called me in the middle of exams and some other health condition and some other distraction and still he remembered to call me and said, "Love you, Baba," you know, then that would count very highly in my book rather than saying, "Oh, I had a lot of free time today, so I thought I'll call you." Which is also sweet, but my feeling is that our godly Father also knows the difficulty that we are facing in the same way. You know, I came across this chapter 26 of Ribhu Gita. I came in the context of reading another book and finding out that Ramana was recommending these six books to Annamalai Swami and also that this chapter 26, which is about the guidance, which came also to my mind when you said being in the phone booth with the Atma.

Atma booth. Yes.

It's also fine as long as the movement starts. Yeah. And I made it a practice at some point in time to read it every day and then I kind of started to drop out of this good practice. But I also see that now when I read it, it has a different impact on me because in the beginning I was just reading it knowing that it's good and then now it becomes maybe something becomes more clear, but I would like your guidance on that and your blessing as well.

It is beautiful. We spent in satsang in the older days, we spent a fair amount of time reading through Ribhu Gita as well. I have to say that chapter 26 is very, very, very beautiful and I have to go with, I have to defer to Bhagavan's view on the potency of that chapter, of course. But we really enjoyed that one. Which one was that with the horn of the hare one, where he slices up every notion that we can have and he says it's all a horn of the hare, just made up, conceptual, illusory? That is a beautiful chapter as well.

Yeah, 21. 26. A bunch of readings. 6, 8, 21. Multiple options. It's all horn of the hare, of course.

And I have one paragraph that recently drew my attention. Can I share that with you and maybe you want to share something with us?

There is no paragraph, there is no attention, no sharing.

It's from chapter 26 and I just noticed now it's actually paragraph 26 and the reason I liked it is because it touched me in my heart, but it does also produce some sense of finality at some point in time of this Maya.

Finality is also horn of the hare.

What's that? Horn of the—

Horn of the hare is something he uses as a construct. So a hare is like a small animal, like a rabbit. The hare has ears. It does not have a horn like a cow or a goat or something like that. So he says that all of this, from the highest to lowest, every concept is a horn of the hare, which means that it does not actually have any substance or reality. In that, he puts everything: the names of God, the Guru concept, the disciple, the teaching, Vedanta, everything, everything.

And I think this is why I like this book very much because it brings this freedom that nothing exists.

Nothing exists is also one. It's almost there. I'm just going to read this paragraph because you caught me. So it's very beautiful in the sense that if you'll indulge the horn of the hare on this for a moment, which is that where does it bring us to? That emptiness which is needed, empty for God. All pathways bring us to the same point. So this may seem to be very neti-neti, very dismissive, but it is exactly what is meant to be. It's just like Nagarjuna-style Buddhism which doesn't accept any position about anything, even the highest. So in the guise of a Vedantic book, actually it is a very Nagarjuna-style book, if you've read some of Nagarjuna's Buddhist work. Oh, please mute. You were reading something. Sorry.

I was reading. So it says, Ribhu says, 'Abide as that which is attained easily when one is convinced that one is Brahman. That which results when that conviction becomes firm in the experience of the supreme bliss of Brahman, that which produces a sense of incomparable and complete satisfaction when the mind is absorbed in it, and be always happy without the least trace of thought.'

It's very beautiful, very all-encompassing as an instruction. We have to start with the end in a way. If you were to practically apply this, we have to start at the end of it to start to come to that place where there's the least trace of thought. And then in the insight that is received in the absence of conceptual thought, that insight shows us that I am that Brahman. And there, this conviction which I feel like is not what is being spoken about is not a mental conviction, but like the conviction of faith. So that faith can be so deep when we allow ourselves to remain without even the trace of a thought. Then in the—to link it to today's satsang—then in the photo booth of the Atman, then we are empty. In this way, we come to the discipleship of the Atma. Then we find the conviction of faith because our heart tells us that I am that, there is no duality, there is no separation. Okay, there's just one question I want to clarify which is that when I said sometimes we are under arrest by the Atman, that can be taken in some different ways. So let me just clarify what I meant by that. So what I was saying is that there are times where we make ourselves available to God. And actually, for those who have been at it for many years, God sometimes doesn't even wait for that consent, triggering this under arrest moment, which I mean to share with a great amount of beauty. So effortlessly then He pulls us into His inner chamber of the heart where all our faculties turn towards Him and they stop their usual functioning. Such a gift that this inner recollection happens by His grace, which St. Teresa of Avila called the prayer of recollection, which is not a prayer that we can do or make. So I like their use of the word prayer, which is that prayer is our inner state. It is not an activity that we are doing. You see? So in the prayer of recollection, our inner state is that all our faculties are then inward-facing, turned towards God in the heart temple. So that is what I meant by under arrest when we meet the heart transmission. The questioner was talking more in terms of—it can seem like in the mind's version, it can seem like a life spent in trying to find God and with no seeming end or satisfaction in sight. But these frustrations are very normally felt along the spiritual path. I was also frustrated many times along the spiritual path. The other day we heard an expression of such frustration on the spiritual path as well. So sometimes it can feel like, "I've just wasted my whole life, my youth, my best years. And what has that got me?" But how to convince you? I can only say that from my vantage point experience now, nothing that we do for God is ever wasted. And the one who posted the question is not here. Hopefully you'll see a recording.

I'm here, Father.

So don't feel, my heart, I know this, having been through all that which all spiritual seekers go through to a certain extent. So yeah, I don't feel like even a moment spent even in the effort of turning towards God ever goes to waste. In fact, the moments, the time spent turning away from God are clearly wasted. And that's what Maya wants for us: to waste this life chasing death, basically. What is Maya's endgame? Keep ourselves occupied in worldly things, chase everything, and then die. You see? Get some pleasure, get some pain, enjoy the ups and downs, roller coaster of life, and then die. So it is a very time-bound version of what life is. But the true possibility which all the sages have reminded us of, which is to spend an eternity, the coming eternity in God's presence, is only possible in the spiritual project of loving God, turning towards Him. Nothing in the world can offer us that. You see? Now if our mind has convinced us that this project is false, that there's no spending eternity with God, then what can be said? We can only say that we have to trust that in so many thousands of sages, they were so exemplary in their character, they would not all be lying to us about this. So somewhere we have to trust their voice more than the mind's convincing voice in these moments of frustration.

Father, may I speak or we can talk later if you are tired as well? You choose, please. May I say, I think this battle within me just continues for such a long time. Like one part of me fully understands what you said and I'm fully content with it and I choose it actually, yet one part of me which we call as desire and expectation, that life is going to change to the higher here. And so many concepts also, like one concept I want to bring to you is that many things come from my family and I'm just expecting this karma to be dissolved because I took it as like this. And still, being with you and doing my practices, when these things are not changing and life does not go in the way that I expect, this is really causing a battle and maybe misunderstanding. And I want to add one more thing. I was contemplating the other day and I somehow see that yes, this life is just unfolding, it has nothing to do with what you are pointing to. And as so many saints say, it's just spending prarabdha karma, they say like this, you know? It has its own life. And it's just not easy to accept this while you have still expectation and desires and you want to live this life and just want to play or something. So I just wanted to bring this because I feel like I am not able to play and not do anything. That's why it feels like being in jail, like I cannot move, you know? And yeah.

Thank you. Thank you. So you said rightly that there's a battle on. And in Indian spirituality, all the outer battles between Ram and Ravan and in the Mahabharat between the Kauravas and the Pandavas, all of them were also representative of the inner battle, this very same inner battle. Is there anyone in this satsang who feels like they don't have this battle which is going on? I cannot even say that. I doubt anyone can say that. So this attraction to Maya versus attraction to God, attraction to worldly indulgence versus attraction to merging in God, union with God—this is there in everybody's life and I don't feel like anyone that at least I have met can truly say that that battle has completely ended for them. You see? So, and this may bring into question some very popular Indian notions of enlightenment and finality of freedom or something like that. But that's a longer conversation for next time. But know that this battle happens with everyone every day. It happens with me and I can almost guarantee you that it happens with everyone that you've ever met, that I have ever met. So we just have to keep at it. I know it can seem worthless and thankless at some point, but we just have to keep at it and keep returning to the side of us which wants to be with God and just pray that the other side becomes weaker and weaker in its strength. But whether that strength will become zero, I cannot say. I can only bless that it be so for all of us. But I cannot in all honesty, I cannot testify to that being true for myself at least. I will see you when we can continue this next time. I hope that in these satsangs when I just keep blabbering on like this—and I'm just realizing it's been so long—I hope that you will make up for the contemplation time during the rest of the day. Please don't take the words of satsang as an end in themselves.

But whether that strength will become zero, I cannot say. I can only bless that it be so for all of us. But I cannot in all honesty, I cannot testify to that being true for myself at least. I will see you when we can continue this next time. I hope that in these satsangs when I just keep blabbering on like this—and I'm just realizing it's been so long—I hope that you will make up for the contemplation time during the rest of the day.

Please don't take the words of satsang as an end in themselves. Use your notes or use the recordings but dive into the main points that you find so that the greater truths hidden behind these words can be met by you in the heart. Otherwise, I'm almost tempted to say that satsang is then wasted if you're not doing that. Sending you all my love, all of you. All my blessings. Amen.