The Only Refuge for the “Me” Is at God’s Feet - 8th December 2025

So let's say, let's go back to our usual experiment. Your Ishta, or the one that you resonate with the most, is sitting with you. We'll come to the Advaita part for the Advaitins very quickly, but for now, Ram Ji is sitting with you. What will your posture be? Either empty or receptive. But if Ram Ji is sitting in front of you and you're saying 'me, me, me,' then that's a waste; then that's just a waste. You see, that is the indicator that if He is with you, if the Atma is with you, that is the light of Ram Himself. Then our job is to be humble, patient, open, receptive, grateful. Just like if He were sitting in front of you.

Now Maya's job is to make you feel that it is not true that God's presence is here. You see, and if it is not true that God's presence is here, then we can never be humble actually, because if this me is like this and there's no God as presence, then we have to take matters into our own hands. There's no question of not going with our will. You see, so humility is only possible when we see the magnificence of the One who is present with us constantly. So how will you be if Ram Ji was sitting with you? Will you be full of pride saying, 'Look at me'? You will not be. Now what does your faith tell you? Is He here or is He not? So spirituality is about faith. Not blind belief, but faith. What does your heart tell you?

So the Lord appears and if our posture is coming—if our posture is, 'Oh, You've come for me, You've come for me,' you see, 'Here, this is my list of demands now that You've come'—then that would be a wasted opportunity because anyone around you may ask you, 'Why didn't you wait to ask Him what is His will? What did He want when He came? What did He want to tell you before you had your list of things that you wanted?' So in that way, prayer is less about saying; it is more about listening. Are we willing to spend our lives just listening to our hearts, to our Atma's voice? If you are, then the tools will come. The question can be: what device can I use to hear the voice of my Atma? Once your intention is clear, then the device will be clear.

Also we have to be careful, just extending that same example. So the Lord is sitting in front of you and He throws some petals at you. What are you going to do? Are you going to take those petals and run? This is what we do oftentimes. Get a sense of what I'm—something is offered to you on the inside, either as some guidance or a vision or some intuitive sense, and the mind just wants to grab onto it and say, 'Ah, take this and run,' as if it's going to be taken away from you. You see? So don't do that. There's a lot more where that came from. He's still sitting there. Like Sita Ma gave Hanuman Ji a pearl necklace. 'What will I do with this? Can I eat this? What can I do with this?' So, and long story short, he said that when I have Lord Rama in my heart, then what use do I have for worldly things?

So how to be with God's presence? Just be. Just stay patiently. Now we've been told that we must just be. Must just be. Aren't we just being? Can we not be? Try to not be right now. You see? So, does that mean that it's a useless instruction? It's not a useless instruction. Nisargadatta Maharaj was told to be with the sense of 'I am' by his Guru and he said that's the only instruction that he needed. But the sense 'I am' is there. If there is waking state, it arises only because I am. So then what is the point of that instruction? Yeah. Yeah. So the idea is to turn ourselves and remain in the remembrance or in the tasting, which is beyond taste, of His presence. You see, so the idea to just be, the idea to just remain with the sense 'I am,' is also the same instruction to turn inwards and stay with God's presence.

Why is it needed and why are reminders needed? Because life is life. Waking state is the state of Maya. Things will play out. The mind will use the opportunity. We'll get caught up. And then all these reminders help us to wash ourselves clean of ignorance and egotism and go back in innocence to the presence of God. How to meet God's presence? We have to be present to Him. How to see Taj Mahal? You have to go to Agra. You see, so somebody says, 'I want to meet, I really want to see Taj Mahal,' but they never go to Agra. Then what will you tell them? 'You want to see, then you have to go.' In the same way, if you want to meet Him, then you have to go within where He stays. No?

If there was a king of the world and you went to his court to meet him, can you impose on him that 'I have come now, now you must meet me'? You can't impose on him. You see, so like Shabri, our job is to do our end of the bargain. He knows what is the best time. Now, does that mean that those times where His presence is not palpably felt, are they just a wasted waiting? You see, so are you saying that Shabri's sixty years of waiting was a wasted life and then she had ten minutes of a good life? You see, it is the most auspicious life even to wait at His temple door. What we are receiving of Him, whether we can feel it, whether we can taste it or not, is the most auspicious use of our time.

And 99.9% of the transformation that is happening, your mind and your senses will not know. How did you go from prideful to humble? You won't really know. Or how did you go from angry to meek? You won't really know. You may have the intention, but the transformation happens only by His grace. So your heart is that sanctum sanctorum where even if the door seems closed, for you to be waiting at the closed door is the highest use of your lives. This is called sadhana, true contemplation practice, Nididhyasana, contemplation, remaining empty.

I used to say it like this often, but it's coming now to say, which is: is your hand more real or is God more real? This seems tangible, solid. But the life of faith makes that subtlest-seeming presence more real and this grossest-seeming sensation less real. Imagine if the Atma had a separate life. It's a very, very strange life. Because who is the Atma waiting for? Huh? Who is the Atma waiting for? The Atma is God Himself. And yet the Atma is waiting for you. See, that's why I said it's a strange life. God is Him. His godliness is available to Him. He's waiting for you.

Now what happens is that because we have made God into a force field like magnetism, that is why these devotional statements don't compute for us. But just like God Himself is praying in your heart and true prayer is just to join Him in that prayer, in the same way, He's waiting for you to turn and offer yourself to Him fully. Not just in words, but in time. Words are cheap. Anyone can say, 'I'm yours, Lord.' Anyone can say, you see. Yeah. But if you said to your wife or husband, 'I'm fully yours alone,' but you don't spend time with the other one or give the other one your real gift of presence—see, what do I mean by that? That famous example of two friends sitting together but one is on the phone with somebody a hundred miles away messaging. So who is this one more present with? So he or she is more present with the friend who is a hundred miles away.

In the same way, if we don't really give our lives to God no matter what may be happening on the outside, then our spirituality will remain just a lip-service spirituality. And if you say, 'I really want to find out who I am,' same thing. Say, 'I really want to,' then how much time are you spending empty of yourselves? Same thing. That insight will only come from the Atma itself. So whether the project seems to you to love Atma or to come to the truth, the project is the same. I hope all this part is clear to you, that Jnana Yoga is not a bypass of the spirit. It is a part of spirituality. Because that insight—we don't have the eyes for it—Atma will pull us in, show us with its eyes.

So we can invite and say, 'Who is aware even of the presence?' You see, but I ask that question to everyone, you see, and everyone knows the answer also. But not everybody knows the answer. We know the answer, but we don't know the answer. Now that knowing will happen only through the lane of the true Satguru, who is the Atma itself. Is it we are told we are to love God or we have to love all our brothers and sisters? How to do it with our own strength? We can't do it. We can only do it in the light of the Atma within. All that is the highest surrender, devotion, faith, humility, patience—all the virtues, all the insight, all the beauty, all the love is only something that is received by us. None of it is produced by us.

Many get into this trap of trying to solve 'Who am I?' as if they will do it, or solve a Zen koan as if they will do it. You can't do it. It's like if you want to fly up in the sky by flapping your hands, you can't do it. You see, but human pride is that way. We feel like if I flap hard enough, I'll fly. So the whole posture of spirituality is to come into the mode of listening, receiving, rather than creating. So you're not to try and create anything at all. Make yourself as available as possible to receive. And that's why I was telling you the other day that first you have to relax. Because if you're too much in the doing, creating, grasping, understanding—all that mode—then that sheer stillness which is being spoken about will not be met. Just let go.

There is a difference between receiving and getting. Oh, let me make it clearer: receiving and grasping. If you're out in the sun, can you grasp at more vitamin D? When will you come? Can't do it. Just have to receive. So know that this receptive emptiness within is Atma Gyan and it is Bhakti. Both the paths get you here. Now you're doing this.

If you are too much in the doing, creating, grasping, understanding, all that mode, then that sheer stillness which is being spoken about will not be met. Just let go. There is a difference between receiving and getting. Oh, let me make it clearer: receiving and grasping. If you're out in the sun, can you grasp at more vitamin D? When will you come? You can't do it. You just have to receive. So know that this receptive emptiness within is Gana and it is Bhakti. Both the paths get you here.

Now you're doing this. Huh? What will Maya do? What all can it do to trouble you or distract you? All of you are hearing very intently. Today I'm looking, so I'm seeing that. So your intention is there. Now you have to know the tricks of Maya. You see, one trick we already spoke about. What is it? 'Am I wrong about everyone?' This one we spoke about, correct? It is like you're going there, you're going to the temple, and Maya says, 'Uh, throw some flowers on the way only. Yes, this must be it. Got it?' So don't be quick to grasp at spiritual-seeming gifts, whether it's a seeming guidance, seeming vision, or seeming something. I want God. When I'm carried by Him, then what do I need to know? Receive the gifts as prasad but stay in the Darshan line. Darshan is not a guarantee, but the line is a guarantee. Stay. Today, for the first time, I'm seeing the value of the line. Stay in the Darshan line no matter what is given to you on the way. That is a devious trick to distract you with what you think spirituality is. Yeah. It'll use your own concepts of spirituality itself to distract you.

In my case, what used to happen in inquiry is, say you are doing all this and the mind says, 'You are the Self already. Don't you know you are the Self? What are you going on asking who am I? You are the Self. Just accept it and move on with your life.' You see? So conceptual spirituality is a big distraction. What we think we know about spirituality gets in the way of spirit. I'm talking about things which are besides the usual mind attack and all those things we are well aware of. You know, mind attack: best relationship showing up, best opportunity showing up—all these things we know. But these subtle ones, you see, those things we don't yet give enough attention to. We went to meet God or we went to find out who we are; then why did you return with just some guidance? I'm saying it strongly: guidance is good to receive from God, but don't just settle for only that. We went to meet God. At least guidance is better than our own concept of what spirituality is and why we should stop offering ourselves to Him.

So keep your eyes on the road, your inner eyes. And if it helps to close the outer eyes, then that's fine, but it's not a prerequisite. You don't have to retire into a cave. You don't have to quit your job or your life, unless you can't do it while in those things, and that only you can tell. So when I say you don't have to, it doesn't mean that you should never. If that is the only way you will do what you're meant to do in this life, then yes. But usually it's a mind trick. 'Because I'm so distracted because of this thing, that's why I...' What would Ma Shabri settle for? Suppose somebody came and told her that Lord Ram has sent a message for you: 'There's a pot of gold lying in that hill over there. Just walk up ten steps and you'll find it.' Would she stop waiting for Ram and go and get the gold? No. 'You keep the gold. You know where it is. I'm waiting for Him.' All of you getting the nuance of what I'm saying? I'm not saying disrespect guidance from the heart or disregard it. I'm saying there's a lot more where that came from. So don't grab it and run out.

Fundamentally, what is it? Fundamentally, it's a question of: Is God here? Really, in Satsang, what is it? Is God here? What is being pointed to in Satsang is this verification, the recognition of this fact. So what is the answer? How do you know? You know or you don't know. You know, no? Or you know, or you are following because your teacher is telling you? So these two outer ones must lead to the inner knowing. How will you know that God is here? And where is faith to be found? So to find it, where do we have to stay? There in the heart. Okay. So the waiting part is clear.

Now, suppose one day by God's grace you can, through your intuitive eyes, through your heart eyes, you get to see that which is unperceivable—not see it in a perceivable way, but through the eyes of the Atma itself, you come to a palpable, apparent Darshan of the Holy One in your heart. Then what? It's not going to be like we see in television where we did the sadhana, God appears, you ask for the gift you want, He says 'Tathastu,' and we go. That's not it. If you meet Him, then don't leave Him. Why leave Him? Hold His hand in your heart and stay. That's all. And don't let things distract you, disturb you, and the world as much as possible. This dream will keep going on. Something just will require you to do something. Holding His hand, all this will play out. Where's the mic?

What is the answer? Father, I feel for us who have been here even once, for us the biggest Lila Maya can do is allowing us to not give time to the truth which you have once experienced, even once. The quickest Maya is that one.

Yes. Exactly. That recognition is very good because you see the trick of Maya, then at least it has to come up with newer tricks. Usually the problem in our life is we fall for the same tricks over and over. Once you spot it, then it also works hard. Yours?

So just once sharing, like, yesterday I was feeling that only if I don't belong to anybody, then only I can belong to everybody kind of equally, not in a differentiation way, equally to everybody. So it came without any effort, but I didn't stay with it. I didn't stay with the truth. By evening it was gone experientially. So I realized that till the time we are aware, something we need to do—twelve hours, fifteen hours, whatever time we are aware—something, breath watching or being aware of thought, whatever practice you want to do. But unless I make something a continuous part of my consciousness, it's not going to happen.

Exactly. It's very true. Unless we practice it, we can't execute it. You see, we've been saying that if somebody tells you, 'Okay, just deadlift this 150 kgs,' can you do it? Why not? No practice of it. 'Be determined. Huh? Do it.' So we accept these things very easily in the world, but when it comes to staying with God, we feel like the Self only. So the focus prayer, the focus practice is literally practice to let go of Avidya, to let go of Maya, and to stay with God. Until we do it, then mostly it'll just remain conceptual, mostly it'll just remain good intention, but not translation into a lived spirituality. It's good. Pick up.

What is conceptual spirituality? Was the question that if something doesn't bring me to that, you know, that you keep pointing to? Like, for example, a pointer. For me, a pointer is usually an image, like your image comes, or let's say Neem Karoli Baba or Thomas Keating. Now because of the centering prayer, it's Thomas Keating. So just that image of his brings me to God's presence, you know. So what do you mean by conceptual spirituality?

So like you said, if it doesn't bring you there, or even worse, if it serves as a valid replacement. That's why I was taking the example: why do I have to inquire? I already know I am the Self. Why do I have to pray? I know I am one with God already. My being is His being only; there is no separation. 'Prayer in fact is creating separation, don't you know?' And it's a very compelling argument. Like if I sold it like that really hard, then many of you would buy it also. You see? So to take a concept like a conceptual understanding—what did we do? We took a concept and it took us away from the time which could be lived being present to the presence. So that which brings us to be present to the present is spirituality. That which takes us away from that, or pretends to be spirituality but is a replacement of that, is a conceptual spirituality. Lip service, to look at it more.

Because what you said is perfect. The point of spiritual pointers and spiritual sadhana of any sort—whether it is chintan of the Lila, or whether it is taking God's name, or whether it is self-inquiry or centering prayer or any spiritual practice—is to bring us to that, to bring us to be present to the presence. So that is, you said, the cooking part and the eating part. We are cooking in a spiritual way, whatever sadhana resonates with us, and then we are allowing ourselves to be eaten by Him, actually. Eating—rephrase it actually like that. We cook ourselves and then offer ourselves to be eaten by Him. But to somebody new to Satsang, then that will sound a bit strange. You're getting the textural difference of that?

Then what happened? You said 'Ram' like that, suppose, and it just draws you in a spiritual momentum which allows you to be in your heart almost effortlessly. It's easy to gather up all our faculties which are usually dancing around too much in the waking state. Then when this spiritual launchpad in the form of a practice that resonates, then it launches us into our heart and it is just a very light stay, lightly the light. If you take that light weight away, then you'll go back into the world. Have you noticed the subtlety? So carefully in the world, then there is some practice. 'Who am I? Who am I?' Gathers us up and allows us to just with a very light weight stay in our heart. But at this point, if the weight is taken away, then you can easily be distracted.

Then as you stay there more, then there's a wave of the heart's gravitational pull pulling you in, where the situation is now reversed. You see? And you have to try out and notice all of these things. After a while, the situation is reversed where the pull is coming from inside and it'll be effort to come out. Okay? Earlier it was a slight effort to stay, then the transference happened where God is pulling you in, but He doesn't impose Himself on your will. So if you force it, then you can still come out. You see? Till you allow yourself to be taken in more and more. You come to a Samadhi where there is no out or in. So in a Saguna Samadhi, you may continue to perceive the things of the world, but as you remain inward, there is no effort, either pull or push. There is just ease, but there's no sense of somebody here. There's no concern about time. What is happening? You can't find your center. You can't place yourself, you know, 'me,' anywhere.

Then if it is His grace, then everything goes away. Inner, outer, all thoughts, all sense of breath, all sense of time, space, 'me' is gone, but my 'I' is here, which is just the pure witnessing with nothing to witness at all. So we stay in the Nirguna. And apparently they say that—and I have no real-life experience of this—but they say that those who stay in this state of grace of Nirvana for this long, then there comes a point where all separation, all individuality merges into Him in the form of a divine union, a divine marriage. So even when the outer life comes back, there's only the minimal identification, just the tanmatra, just the minute quantity which plays out for these ones. Apparently they don't have to do any practice anymore. They don't have to do any sadhana. Their whole purpose of their life is now complete. But I cannot speak authoritatively about that because that is still beyond what I have experienced.

So then the active recollection was the part where we are... all of us have a sense of this, no? When we close our eyes, if you were to remove our intention to stay within, we could easily go out. You see? So that is the waiting that I'm talking about. Stay there like that. And then all of us also have the experience of being pulled in by Him where it seems to take... where it's reversed now and it seems to take effort to go out. You see? Then He's holding us in. That is very, very beautiful. So we must not leave that. If there is something to do in the world, then He'll leave it. You don't have to force it. There now to go do things in the world. Stay there where all beauty, truths, love, everything is received by us. This part is clear. You have to taste it.

And then all of us also have the experience of being pulled in by Him where it seems to take—where it's reversed now and it seems to take effort to go out. You see, then He's holding us in. That is very, very beautiful. So we must not leave that. If there is something to do in the world, then He'll leave it. You don't have to force it. Stay there now to go do things in the world. Stay there where all beauty, truths, love, everything is received by us. This part is clear. You have to taste it. That's why after satsang, it's good to just not rush back into worldly things. And if life has given us the space, right?

Meeting friends after this... this expression is telling me a lot. When I'm, let's say, talking to someone, and if whatever I'm saying is not my lived experience in this moment, can I safely discard that as a concept?

Well, if it comes and it helps both of you go to that non-conceptual place, then it's fine. The intention must not be to have any sort of one-upmanship about it. The intention should be love and to be helpful. Let's say I'm saying something. If it's never your lived experience, then you should never say it. If it has been your lived experience, but in that moment it is coming but you're not actually meeting that in your heart yet, then it can be a good reminder to both that integrity is very important—to only share from what is our true inside and mostly share from what is our lived experience in the moment. But no, we don't have to fully discard that which has been very apparent to us. But it's not just for the other one. Satsang is satsang because I hear it for myself first. Most of what I hear, I have to apply for myself. So our spiritual pointers then become like the light anchors which pull us into our heart. Besides that, there's nothing we can do. We are at this point where there's nothing else. We have no instrument left to do anything else. Then we just have to wait in that open posture. Then if He has to come and pull us in deeper into the ocean, then only He can do it.

Father, this was in last satsang you said. I mean, I've been like... I know God's presence, like He has never come without love. It's always like that day you said the sandalwood and the fragrance. So I don't know God's presence without love. And it's not a feeling of love. Like when I feel His presence in my heart, it's not a feeling of love, but it's... so that is my, in a way, indicator that He's there.

So with which eyes we recognize that love?

I know it intuitively that I just know it. It's not a feeling of love.

So those eyes we must not leave. So that perceptionless gravitation which pulls us in is also love. What we taste in the tasteless taste of samadhi is also love. You see, now how do we know that? Because it's not a felt love. Are you feeling a lot of love or bliss or peace? No. But we know it is love in the deeper knowledge from the Atma itself. So we must remain in that receiving, in that discipleship. First, we must remember that this knowledge, even that that is love, is received by us. It is not even like sensed by us. Clear? It's just received by us. All truths, all that is valuable is just received by us over there. And that prevents any sort of ego coming into the picture saying, 'See, but I have seen that.' No, you haven't. You were given that. Somebody sitting begging outside the temple receives the gold ring as a gift. Is it something for him to be proud about? No. Can our mind make us proud about it? Yes. So once we keep that receiving posture, then it keeps us humble and safe and allows us to go deeper and deeper. Otherwise, the minute we are able to conclude things, then like we were saying earlier, that freshness of that present looking goes away. You see, so you must just keep receiving and not give what was received to the mind. Yeah. Keep it safe. The mind will quickly make it learned knowledge. Okay. So, 'Have I met this silent love? I don't know. Let me check.' Like that. That should be the posture. 'Does God pray in my heart? I don't know. Sounds beautiful. Let me check.' There are no prizes in the world for knowing these things. The only prize is that you spend your life with God and He will give you a place at His feet after this life is done. There's no worldly prizes for these things. In fact, mostly there's worldly trouble. Just keep it well guarded.

Okay, we're closing. All of you are clear about the difference between heart knowledge and head knowledge. Don't give it to the mind to translate. Observe that when you're in the stillness in the heart, it is a state of knowing, although to the mind it is a state of being lost. A state of knowingness. Although that knowing is a lot subtler than words. So what can contaminate that knowing? Wanting to flaunt it, or even not flaunt it but wanting to get it, wanting to understand it. No rush for that. Not that you're rushing, just saying that these are the things that will happen once you're coming to these insights. That's why naturally what God will do is for three or four years He'll make you quiet about this. You just want to sit in it and not talk about it. Life will have to come and like force it out of you. It's just that inner cooking that's happening, the inner maturing that is happening. We must not make it a premature understanding. Are you able to unmute?

Thank you so much, Ananta. Yes, now it's okay. I just wanted to say something really fast, not make you more tired. It was so nice when you make it clear for me that—maybe not literally like this—but that you said you can say whatever and even the opposite of it because it's not your words, but we need to understand conceptually at all, and not even the best path that we can use. Because I used to believe that I have to go through on every path to stabilizing the truth. And after all this, still my mind can use your words as a kind of disturbance. Like the last time I was sitting in really deep silence and then your words were coming to tell me that, 'Oh, this would be much better to get a hundred times disturbance and go back to sitting in the heart than just staying an hour in silence.' And then I said, 'Oh, where is my disturbance? Why is it not coming now? It must be much better.' And then I find this is the disturbance now. And after, the result just went and I got so angry and I just left my chair. And so the question actually is like, because yes, the words are just for memory to lead us back to the heart. But sometimes I just suddenly cannot decide when the words are coming, even with your voice, I just suddenly cannot decide if this is just now a memory to lead me back to the heart or if this is just the mind using your words as distracting. Thank you, Ananta Ji.

Right. You don't have to decide. Just return. That's it. You don't have to decide. There's no reason to decide. Decide means intellect.

Yes. Yes. Yes. That is easy. Right. Thank you. Thank you so much. Love you all.

Love you so much. Thank you, my love.