The One Who Seems to Make Effort Is Never Real - 16th February 2018
Saar (Essence)
Ananta highlights how the mind uses subtle notions of 'how am I doing?' to maintain a sense of doership. He guides seekers to let go of all interpretations and rest as the effortless, ever-present awareness.
Letting go of notions means to just be in the effortless knowing of your existence.
You don't need your report card; this natural awareness needs no crutches.
The good news is that you are the God of this universe; every blade of grass is in service to you.
intimate
Transcript
This transcript is auto-generated and may contain errors.
So, a trick of the mind. When the periphery is a little bit... the conversations we've had over the last couple of days, the content of the conversation is somewhat like this: 'Father, if I let go of all notions, then without having any notion, will I continue to be a good student? Without having any notion, can I continue to be a good wife?' And of course, the answer is all things are completely possible in consciousness. There is no reason why consciousness cannot enact the role of being a good student, right? If that is how consciousness wants to play. But notice the subtle trickery from the mind when it says, 'I am letting go of all notions.' It is actually, 'I'm letting go of every notion except the notion of this question: Will I be this way or that way?'
I was saying that Ashtavakra Gita talks about this fear that would come to him as he was coming to the recognition of his reality. This fear, this notion would come to him: 'But you will just become like a beggar on the streets. You will become like a hunchback.' This kind of notion will still be there. So he talks about how these were let go of. When I'm talking about the 'checker guy,' we have to be very, very subtle. You see, 'I'm still going to keep one eye on you just to check how it is going.' And that is how this manifestation of the mind, the role of the mind, takes the form of not losing so much as the world, but now the checker is checking: 'Now that I'm letting go of notions, how is it going to happen for me? Or what is happening to me?' But these are also notions.
I remember I was speaking to someone in Bangalore and she said, 'Ananta, I've been a psychotherapist for over 15 years and I'm afraid to let go because I fear that I won't be on time, and I've never missed an appointment in 15 years. I'm so good at keeping up with what my patients need or want, so I'm afraid of letting go.' So I told her that the fear is that if you let go, God cannot run this life; He's just going to make a mess of it. You know what she said the next day? She said, 'I'm very upset with you because I actually let go of everything and for the first time in 15 years, I was late to an appointment.' So God did make a mess of it! This is what I mean by the checker guy. You let go of notions but you are still checking on how God is doing it. In letting go and surrender of all the doing, we still preserve the experience of doership to be ours.
This is what I usually call 'conditional surrender.' We surrender the doership, but we surrender it under conditions, like we've been hearing in satsang. 'I trust you, I trust you Guru, I trust you, but make sure it goes my way.' The words are not like this, but the intent behind the surrender is like this. To be notionless actually means to just be in the effortless knowing of your existence, effortlessly aware of 'I am' without any translation, interpretation, or judgment. That is why actually it is enough to say: don't go with any interpretation or judgment. Because the first part—effortless to be—is also not true because you are that. So just to be that simple awareness, which is aware even of your own existence, is what is just undeniable and unavoidable. It just is. It is only our position, only our identification with ideas, that makes it feel like there is some separation.
Notice the tricks of the mind will change. They are changing from 'What do I have to do?' to 'Now that I've given up, I have let go of these ideas about myself, how am I doing? How is God treating me?' But these are also notions. Even ideas about 'Am I able to remain motionless?' is a notion. 'How much stillness did I have yesterday?' You don't need that answer. You don't need that question. What is now is independent of yesterday. Yesterday came and went; in this now, this now remains untouched. Mooji says you need no crutches. He actually stood up in the middle of satsang and said, 'You come to me pretending as if you need these sticks. I'm going to kick that stick away.' It's a very nice one, I recommend it to everyone. It's very alive and very animated, and yet so disappointing to the ego. You don't need more crutches, no ideas, and you definitely don't need your report card. Stop troubling yourself with these reports about yourself. This natural, effortless awareness just here needs no sticks, it needs no crutches.
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I am a strange one because I give you the greatest gift, but funnily, when you get that gift you say, 'But I always had this.' This is my key: just to see what you always had, what you always were, and you always will be. Soon enough, what will seem more challenging is to try and pose as if you are not that. How many of you are already starting to feel this? See, there's many of you. Many times you feel like, 'Today I have to come up and speak to Father about something,' then you come up and I can see the effort you have to make to pick up all those ideas that you want to discuss, because automatically it is natural for you. You are recognizing the naturalness of this. You're recognizing how much energy is gone in the play of the ego.
Imagine if you were all actually able to bring in everything that you carry outside satsang into this room. All the notions that you can have are about how to fix this one existent microwave in which you will cook your dinner, but your dinner is already prepared and it's Michelin-star best. As I was saying the other day, what I'm telling you is that you are the God of this universe. Every ray of light, every dream, everything that is here, every blade of grass is in service to you. And usually what I hear in response is, 'But how will I feed my cat?' I keep telling you, I'm forcing the good news. The good news I have for you is this: I know actually what the trouble is. The non-existent ego, that one wants to become the king of the universe. The non-existent can never be. The only existent One is already there. Like the prodigal son, we struggle, struggle, struggle to become as great as the Father, to be the Father, then we realize that we are the Father. What a funny thing. It's just a goal to make something that has no tangible existence into something great, yet all of the world is in denial of what already is.
Father, this is called the great divine delusion. Wherever we meet you, there we have satsang. So there is actually no 'outside.' We are always on safe mode in your presence, Father. Thank you for your beautiful presence and love.
So although this is not something to do, if it feels like it, you can see the simple awareness of your very existence without any interpretation. You know what that translates to in simple words? To remain as that simple awareness of your very existence, without interpretation, just simply means: don't believe your next thought. For the first one is on the house.
Rochelle says: My daughter is sick again with high fever. Father, please could you bless her? And Adrienne said: Father, how should we be in situations which provoke aversion? For example, I don't like bars and places like that.
That's the beauty of what I'm saying. We're not talking about the appearance or the disappearance, the renouncing or the picking up of any environment at all. It is talking about not picking up the limited notion of 'me.' No appearance is capable enough to touch you unless you give it an interpretation. It is only our thoughts, only our interpretation. As you become open, allow these thoughts to come and move. Then the tendency of this outer shell, this coconut as I call it, could be to stay away from cigarette smoking or bars. You know, some of you want to be there, some not. So you do not do what is distasteful. But the one solitary witness of all there is—I'm paraphrasing—is forever untouched by all appearances. What is there for me to accept or renounce? Now, this doesn't sound helpful at all to the mind because it only understands opposites: 'Should I do this or not do this? Should I have a desire for it or an aversion for this?' But the neutrality which I'm speaking of is this non-conceptual neutrality. Not taking a conceptual position about anything. Outwardly, the play of differences is happening, but inwardly there is just silence.
Ulysses says: Father, I can't get past the grief. It is constantly there. Please help.
Actually, you don't have to get past it. You have to get past the notion that you have to get past the grief. Grief is there and it will remain in consciousness as long as it is the will of consciousness for it to be. Nothing can force consciousness into experiencing anything at all. As the sages have said, not one blade of grass can move without the will of consciousness. So as you lose the notion that 'I have to get past the grief,' you will discover your spaciousness in which grief is just another appearance. That same space in which there is grief, there is also this voice which is heard. The words of your presence, the voice of your intuition is also there. It might seem to come from the outer form of the Guru or it might be heard within yourself, but it's all in the same space. This where the grief is, is also where all appearances are. You don't have to go past any of this. Allow all of this to come and go as is the will of consciousness.
Because what happens usually in the play of consciousness is that as you keep saying, 'I have to get over this, I shouldn't have this anymore, I am done with this, when will this go?' all of this actually can be a part of you keeping that activated or keeping that central to your attention. Okay, grief is there. Am I also there? If you feel that there's a simple space to check on this for yourself, you will find that as a substratum of the grief itself, that substratum, that presence, that divinity never leaves you. It always has been. This presence, this divinity, nothing is in opposition to it. It is not resisting anything at all. Everything is a child of it. Nothing exists without it. This gift is the very presence of existence.
You say, 'Grief is continually there, I'm so tired.' The awareness can feel like this. It can feel like, 'I know this very strongly.' But this is never true. When you say grief is continually there, what you're saying is that 'I am just continually aware of my grief.' Without you, the awareness, without you being aware, can grief be? The mind makes it sound like it is upside down. Because you are aware, there can be some content which is perceived. We are aware of perception. Not even grief can exist without the play of this attention which leads to what we call perception. You are the awareness of this perception. When you check where this grief is, you will see that it is inside you. And then if I ask you, 'So where is this voice being heard?' you will see it is also inside you. All perceptions, all sensations are within you. This 'you' which contains all of this is just an aspect of you. You are the content of it, you are the space of it, the perception of it, and you are that which is aware of even this perception. It is only an idea about yourself which is engulfed by grief, and it is not getting clear for you where you are. Then you come for a few days to Bangalore.
Lana says: It's holiday season here. Happy Lunar New Year!
Oh, same to you, my dear, and thank you. Is this what they also call Chinese New Year? Best wishes for an auspicious season. Here we generally have... I don't know where you are, but I heard in China they have a one-week holiday. Please give your blessings so that it happens that you recognize effortlessly that the one who seems to make effort is never real. Then you will see that everything is just the natural functioning of consciousness itself. Yes, this is Chinese New Year. Thank you. I'm happy for you. Did you get the message that I will see you in Rishikesh anyway? But I don't see... I see how this nameless and formless play is. I'm indeed in Rishikesh. Very good. Let's be like it. There is no resisting. Thank you all so much for being in satsang today. Satguru Sri Mooji Baba Ki Jai. It's been a long time since we were with him, so I'm getting ready for tomorrow. Love you.