The Light in Your Heart Is the Light of the Entire Universe - 14th February 2024

And most of you have had a taste of this to some extent or the other. You all tasted when you come to satsang hall or when you do your spiritual sadhana, you get a taste of how it is to drop all that anxiety, worry, past, present, future, and you still continue to exist. You did not stop existing when you dropped your mind. So you have a taste of it. And if you really are finding that this is an antidote to the zombie life which most of our brothers and sisters in this world seem to be living—this is a true antidote—then why would we not offer it to them? Of course, the mind gets scared or makes us scared, says, 'Oh, you're going to become an evangelist now, you're going to force spirituality on people.' But none of that is what I'm saying. These are just primitive resistances.

In any case, all of us evangelize what we take to be true whether we like it or not. In every encounter, we are sharing the way that we feel we must exist, you see, whether it is with our families, whether it is with our children, with our parents, with our friends. We are constantly sharing our way of life, what is right, what is wrong, right? But when it comes to what has truly brought you to some semblance of a godly life, that we become sheepish about sharing. So I felt like it'll be nice to just have an initiative, a project like this, to give an outlet to our sense of seva, to our sense of service. And you encounter a lot of things in the process. You meet your pride, you meet your spiritual ego, you notice when you are speaking that your mind wants to take credit, it wants to be seen as higher than everyone else. You notice all of those things. Those things are important for you to encounter as this one still is in the body, you see, so I can do the needful surgery when needed.

It's good for all of you to meet all of that, to face all of that. It is important to meet some rejection, people disagreeing with you, because everyone who comes will not agree with you. They will disagree, they will have their own philosophy, and it'll teach us to be open to that, because this is not the best way or the only way to God. We must never fall into the trap that our way is the best way or the only way. So we may learn something, and if it is met with that kind of openness, then usually openness may be reciprocated as well, and you may get a chance to speak from your heart about what is your discovery, your taste of reality and truths. So that was the feeling behind this. So at some level, I do want to encourage this, but at another level, I know that as the temple gets more and more established in your heart, that is going to be an organic movement anyway. You can't help yourself. Like there was never a plan here to share such, but it just—God uses the instruments which are open to serve Him in that way. So I feel 90% organic and 10% prodding from me to get you to that point.

So most important is to meet God. If you don't meet God, then no temple. It has to be a temple to God, otherwise it can easily become a temple to our spiritual encyclopedia and our head, our spiritual knowledge. So have you met God? That is the first question. To be in spirituality, you have to have met Spirit. The presence of God is God's lifeline to us, because to meet God in the purely Nirguna way straight off is very, very rare. So let's start with meeting His presence first. How to meet God's presence? Have you met God? Yes, no, maybe, kind of? And whether you say that, whether you say God or Truth with a capital T, it is the same thing. Is there a reality that is beyond life and death, beyond waking and sleeping, beyond taking birth and dying? And is that reality only a question of our mental understanding, intellectual understanding, or is that reality truly met, truly been experienced in your life? So have you met God? Please turn up the sound. I see, one second. Sound is pretty high. How is it for everyone else? It's all right? Just try to bring it closer. Is it on the right audio? I see. Are the right... yes, I moved it closer, but my beard may get in the way. So let's see, let's see what happens.

So is God a notion for us or is He reality? It's a very stoic silence. Reality? Okay. Reality. Is it forced now? Pure pressure reality or hope? So, okay, tell me more. You... this is last... like you don't hope that you're sitting on the floor, you know that you're sitting on the floor, although that is not ultimately true, and still we know it, you see. So let's hear more about this.

So in my heart, I feel like it's always present. There is a presence in my heart, I feel. Yeah, it is always present. Presence is always present.

Very good. Now whose presence is this?

I cannot give a name.

Yes. Okay. Stay where you know that this presence is present. Where do you know that?

Everywhere. I know that everywhere. And I know that in my nose. It feels like it's not in my head, at least not only in my head. It feels very, very real and very alive and not questionable at the same time. I can see that, like I'm open to the question like where it might become a concept as you say, because it feels so alive and feels so unquestionable. But at the same time, I don't know if it's like always in this life, if I'm walking like that, if I'm acting like that always.

I agree with you. Yes. So suppose that we had to hide its reality now because it's too apparent. So suppose the project for you in this moment is to hide its reality. There's too much light in your heart, there's too much presence and anything everywhere. Now our job—this is reverse satsang, upside down satsang—so your job is to try and hide its reality. What would you do?

I don't know. It's difficult now.

So try your best to take yourself to be concerned about a relationship or about money or about something. How will you do that? Is it possible to be in God's presence and worry? Theoretically it's possible. Our mind will tell us, 'Of course God's presence is everywhere, so when I'm worrying then also I'm within that presence.' This is a mental answer. But when you worry, God's presence is not apparent to you. It's still there, of course, but it seems to get hidden. So how do we worry, you see? So we're finding the reverse, isn't it? How to lose God's presence.

So one we saw is that when we worry, we lose it, because it's like saying that God is sitting right in front of me—or actually much more intimate than that—and yet I have to be concerned about the future, which is a strange, ludicrous thing, isn't it? If the highest force in the universe, you see, the highest being in the universe, He is sitting with you, then what need do you have to worry? And yet we do worry. So when we worry, then God does not seem real although He is real. So how do we lose that reality of God's light? And many of us refer to that as a seeming disconnection. It can feel like a disconnection, you see. So how do we achieve that disconnection? By believing these thoughts. When I buy an idea about myself, 'What is going to happen? I have no money in the bank,' you see, when we buy that, it comes with ammunition. It says, 'All this is fine, satsang will go on, you see, but how are you going to buy your food? How are you going to feed your children? How are you going to take care of your responsibilities? What will your parents say?' The mind comes with all that ammunition, and then when we believe it, what have we achieved in doing?

Identifying.

Exactly. We identify. What do we identify as?

As a person.

And a person is just a fancy word for taking ourselves to be a group of body-mind. It's like a body-mind complex, if you want to be fancy about it, but basically like a soup, a khichdi. This body-mind kit, somewhere you see, we take ourselves to be that. And then when we take ourselves to be that, what...

With all that ammunition, and then when we believe it, what have we achieved in doing? What have we achieved in doing when we believe a thought? Identifying, exactly. We identify. And what do we identify as? As a person. And a person is just a fancy word for taking ourselves to be a group of body-mind. It's like a body-mind complex, if you want to be fancy about it, but basically like a soup, a kit—this body-mind kit somewhere. You see, we take ourselves to be that. And then when we take ourselves to be that, what happens to God's presence? It is not met. It is only in our head then. Oh God, you see, it seems like a distant idea. Yeah.

So even when we pray, it is like in the olden days when you would make a long-distance phone call. You see, you would shout and say, 'Hello, can you hear me out there?' Like that. So when we pray also, we are praying dramatically and we are praying loudly so that our voice can reach Him, because He seems like He's very distant from us. But He's actually right here. So we don't need to make a long-distance trunk call; His presence is right here. So don't get tricked by your mind into believing that even when I identify wrongly, I take myself to be this body-mind, then that is fine because God is there. Yes, ultimately it is true that it is fine because God is there, but this Leela will make you suffer and suffer and suffer.

So when Ananta said Maya is 'me-ya,' which means that the 'me'—when the 'me' is there, then we are stuck in Maya. That's a very simple definition. To live in God's presence is to be empty of the 'me' because the lane is too narrow. And how to pick up the 'me'? Because emptiness actually is a gift. So we don't even have to try in some way to be empty, because right now you're empty. Right now you're empty. You don't even know your name right now. What's your name? What's your...? It takes a few moments. It takes time for you even to remember the core of the identity, which is the name. If I say, 'What is your form?' which is your body—which is your body?—it may seem instantaneous, but actually it takes a second. You see, in the realm of perception, to pick yourself out takes a moment. You see? So emptiness is natural in this very moment. But can you leave it like that? Can you leave it like that?

How to leave it like that? How to leave it like that? We are not grasping. We are not grasping. So surrender. Surrender looks like this. So surrender now. And have you noticed even your face when you're identifying? If you surrendered, you open. It's just all the thoughts can come, come and go. I used to take this example that thoughts are like oranges; let them fly past. But when you try to make orange juice out of them, then your head also looks like it's squeezing you. You do that squeezing thing. Notice how even your body is dressed when you are identifying. Just let it go. Don't try to squeeze the juice out of any construct, any concept, any notion. Let it all go. This is the fertile ground for God's presence, for God's light.

You can make as much meaning, as much construct, as much narrative story in your head; neither will it ever explain one moment to you—even the content of one moment will not be explained—nor will you get anything of value in that process. All you will be left with is a primitive story about yourself. 'I did this, he did that, she did this to me, I wanted this, I want this.' Caveman story. As much as you gloss over it and make it sound fancy, it's all caveman stuff. 'I wanted, I didn't get, I am unhappy.' Isn't it? 'I wanted, I got, now I don't want to lose it because then I'll be unhappy.' You see? So it's very Neanderthal stuff pretending to be Modern Age civilization. It's all primitive stuff. But the reality of this moment, where the realm of perceptions is apparent to you, God's presence is apparent to you, and that which is aware even of that—that eternal, timeless witnessing is apparent to you there.

Um, like my mind thinks that this funny question... your mind brings this question, yeah. Thinks about this funny question. Oh, and I wanted to ask, if I do something like wrong, if I do not suffer, if I don't feel suffering, yeah... is it like... because like everyone is talking about suffering and teachers are pointing us that life is suffering, and I just can't see it this way. And I don't know if I'm like...

Are you suffering from this question?

No, it's just like awkward. So everybody seems to be suffering, but I'm just happy like that.

Maybe just naturally there is certain emptiness that you live with which is natural to you, and that's good. That's good too. But the 'but' is also suffering, a little bit, because it's not something similar they can... this works only on Zoom, yeah, okay.

Um, the presence, the stillness of this also is no suffering in it. And the world is so much in the suffering. So basically it's like a habit, because I'm watching lately, I'm in this stillness and I'm watching. Is it a habit of a human experience that truly kind of is looking for then some kind of activity and it brings the suffering kind of there again? So I was just watching today and I said maybe it's like a drug addiction, because the system is so used to this basically, that when I'm pushed in the silence, I'm watching for a moment and I'm like, 'Is it disconnected? Is it wrong?' So is it the human experience is basically such a habit in a sense, no? And then when there is no suffering, when everybody is suffering, then you suffer from that.

I did, you know.

And I do, but then also it's very awkward or very weird not to. It's like, I don't know, sometimes I see it, the mind is convincing me, 'But this is... you're disconnected from basically people or life, you're disconnecting yourself.' But I was really watching this today and then I was saying to myself, 'But this stillness is deeper, is higher, so it cannot be some...' Yeah, and I said, 'Oh my God, I'm like a drug addict.' It goes like this.

So let's dive in deeper and say, okay, what do we mean by suffering? There's no actual thing like suffering; it's just a word that defines other things. So what is suffering? When there is worry, we call it suffering, isn't it? Worry is suffering. Regret is suffering. Pride is suffering, although at that moment it may feel good. Then what else is suffering? Desire, wanting, is suffering. So if our life is empty of all of this, you see... worry, it's very difficult to be empty of worry unless we have lost the notion of future. Because if you believe that there is going to be a future, then worry is going to be rampant; it's going to seem quite real.

So if we are empty of all of this, then maybe God's grace, there's a natural gift which we have, and we must use that to deepen in our recognition of the truths, deepen in our insight about God's light, and we must live in His will. We must allow Him to move us, Him to guide us. Suppose a dream just started and in a dream an apparent race is being run. Somehow you find yourself ahead in the race. So what you going to do? Say, 'Oh, but why is everyone behind? I didn't do anything to get to the start of the race.' But the dream just started, so you can't help. So are you going to run back and chase all of them and say, 'No, no, I'll join you,' or you going to keep running, especially if you're running towards God?

So if we are not suffering, then are we truly instruments to His will? Because if you're not suffering and you're just spending time thinking about, 'Am I suffering? Am I not suffering? Is there something I'm missing in all of this?' that's not worthy use of time. Worthy use of time is to turn to God and say, 'What would You have me do? What would You have me do? How can I be in service to You?' and to be deeply grateful for this gift. But is it the habit that is so strong that it just keeps pulling? And that because the habit in humanity is so strong, that is why the Buddha said the world is suffering. The world is suffering meaning that when we take the world to be a reality, suffering comes.

So if you're not suffering, then are we deeply loving God? Are we deeply serving His will? It may mean that when we are suffering, then everybody turns to God, but when we are happy, when we are content, peaceful, then nobody prays. But what if we were to pray when we are at peace? Then why would suffering ever come? So use this opportunity. If life has given you a time out, given you a break, use that so that you can truly discover the truths, reality. You can truly be a good instrument of His life. You can truly use this opportunity to deepen in your love for Him. Otherwise, this dream is getting over soon and who knows what the next life is going to bring. So God for God's sake and Truth for Truth's sake, and the end of suffering being a byproduct of that.

So it is a foregone conclusion that this is the human addiction. It is the human habit. The mind is the highest addiction.

Yeah, yeah. Or the lowest addiction. It is the lowest addiction after that because it's not all other addiction. It's not...

Um, what I'm just... I'm just kind of trying to describe it in words, but I was going... somehow it's energetically inside what I was seeing, kind of similar to this what I'm describing. And honestly, it's so confusing at one point that I said, 'Oh my God, what is convincing me again into this?' And then I just... I go so quiet, I go so silent and I said, 'No, here, no, because it cannot...'

So what is not energetic inside this? If by 'this' you mean God's presence and that which is the eternal witnessing, the pure awareness, then yes, this. So let's go beyond the phenomenal, for which another name is energetic. Then what about that? To take that phenomenal to be more real than God's presence is the play of mind.

You know, I have quite some issues because like...

Which compartment of your being? In this compartment? No. In which compartment of your being are those issues?

Yeah, well, in my little department.

Which one? My little department? Which department? Little, little department. What is that little department? In the little confusion? What aspect of your being is that? Personal? Are you confused everywhere? Like I was asking, are you confused in your nose? In the perception? You're confused in perception? I've never met one who's confused in perception. Show me how in perception you are confused. You perceive confusion. Anyhow, so me, I've never met anyone who perceived confusion. I only met those who think confusion. In pure perception, there is no trouble. Can you make a narrative out of it? And you start thinking about it, then confusion. But what if it's not a thinking, it's just a feeling?

But what if it is a thinking? Because the thief will always say, 'Go to the next house. Thief is not in this house, go to the next house.' It's feeling, it's energy, but there is no construct of the thought. No construct of the thought? No? Okay, be confused without any construct of thought. The feeling? Yeah, okay. Be confused with feeling. What feeling has to be perceived for you to be confused? Does it have to dance like this, like this, like this, like this? What has to make you confused as a feeling? Like, is there a feeling called confusion? Of course the mind says it's a feeling. It's not. It with the feeling goes more kind of yes or no. It's binary. The feeling has yes or no?

Yeah, there's a feeling that comes, yes.

Yes? I've never met this feeling. No. What is it called?

It doesn't have a... has no name. Just the feeling is there.

Yeah, no, it's not a thought, it's a feeling. Yes. So whatever is communicating with you in language, don't believe that, whether it is thought or feeling. So you know the feeling comes there, yeah, okay, so don't believe that. Let it go. It would be more like it's an open or closed, or it's a heavy or light. Yeah, but a constriction is not a 'no' and an expansion is not a 'yes.' Those definitions are only provided by the mind. So your feeling... yes, so your feeling may feel like that's a feeling, you see. But is it good or bad? Who tells you that? Answer. Feeling expansiveness, is it good or bad? What's the difference between anger and resentment? Resentment is what? Energy. Yeah, it's just a feeling. So we go with your answer. Anger is a feeling. Somebody slaps you...

Whether it's open or closed, or it's heavy or light, a constriction is not a 'no' and an expansion is not a 'yes.' Those definitions are only provided by the mind. So your feeling—yes, your feeling may feel like that's a feeling, you see. But is it good or bad? Who tells you that answer? Feeling expansiveness—is it good or bad? What's the difference between anger and resentment? Resentment is what energy? Yeah, it's just a feeling. So we go with your answer. Anger is a feeling. Somebody slaps your child in front of you, anger may come, like that. But to resent, what you have to do? You think, 'How could you do that?' So that is not a feeling. It is mixed. The mind uses the experience of this feeling, this perception that we call feeling, and builds a narrative around it and says, 'No, no, this one is a bad person. I will never talk to them again.' And once that is believed, then that anger, which is just pure and in the moment, gets converted into resentment.

So what about pride, guilt, regret, remorse? All of these things are the feelings remixed. It uses the circumstantial evidence of the perception to convince you about somebody, including this body. Is there a feeling called guilt? This guilt came? No, it doesn't. Suppose that you saw someone very pretty and some lust came. Then how do you make that lust into guilt? 'I should be pure. I should not have this feeling. I should be like that,' you see. Then we become guilty. But lust came and went already, finished, you see. So it's the guilt which is the two puns: unworthiness, pride, regret, remorse. All of these things are not just feelings. Don't let the mind convince you that is just a feeling, because then you're working in the wrong compartment, the wrong department.

I am telling you that every block to God's light is from the mind. Every block to His presence, His love, His light, is from the mind; it is a thought. So I'm zeroing in on the source of trouble so that you can spot it and pluck it out. But if you keep looking here, there, everywhere, and the mind itself is in control of the search... Suppose the mission is 'let's find the thief' and the thief dresses up as the policeman. And all the police people are taking that policeman to be the boss and they're being directed by that. What will happen to the search for the thief? The thief itself is directing the search. What's going to happen? You'll become pundits. You'll understand a lot of spirituality. You will quote the Vedas. You will say, 'Bhagavad Gita chapter this says this,' but not that any of that is bad in itself, but if it's restricted to that, then you're still missing true spirituality, which is the presence of God.

You see, have you noticed how people who love mental spirituality hate to talk about God? They hate to talk about God, really, because it's like... and if they talk about God, then God is a sub-character in their story. 'When I was sixteen I met God, and then somebody spotted me and said, "Ah yes, you are very special. Have you met God?" I said, "Yes, I have."' You see? So the 'I' is the main character. Have you seen like that? This 'I, I, I' and God is just a bit character, actor, extra in the movie. Just like that. So these are all signs of spiritual ego, all signs of pride. How is it that we are in spirituality and we never truly talk about Spirit? Just like I was saying, it's just a 'me-ity.' Why do we call it spirituality? It's just egotism.

Is God's presence real? And if God's presence is real, more real than Krishna sitting in this room right now, then what are we talking about? How is it that Krishna could be sitting in this room right now and we are talking about other things? This is the nature of the mind. It hides the most obvious reality of His light, which is giving light to this whole universe. It hides that and makes it all about 'But I think, but I did, but I went, I, I, I.' How would you be if Krishna was right here sitting in the couch over there? How would you? Or whatever aspect of God, form of God that you rever. And if you just take God to be just like an overwhelming shining light, then that light is fine. Whatever you take it to be, whatever you take Him to be, if He was right here, then what's your next move?

So how is it that we are not living like that? Because is He right here or no? In your heart. So you can say, 'No, I don't know whether that is true,' and then we can work towards that and say, 'Okay, how do we become empty? How do we inquire? How do we surrender? How do we love God? How do we pray? How are we grateful?' All of those things can come. Or you may say, 'Yes, His presence is here.' You see? Then my question to those is: why do you leave? Why do you leave His presence if it is here? What better way to live? Have you found that? That could be to leave Ram, Krishna, Jesus, Allah behind and to go on your own? Habit. Habit. So break this. To come to satsang is to break the habit, no? You see, it's like saying you come to the rehab and you say, 'But I'm addicted to alcohol.' But this is the rehab, you see. That's why we have satsang twice a week. Otherwise I could have just written a book and finished. If anybody wants truth and understanding, read the book.

Is it, Father? Thank you with your, you know, grace and important teachings. So, in the heart, you know, it just... it's clear that, you know, beautiful presence of God. And it's also clear that, you know, there's only one 'I.' I mean, I'm not bifurcated into, you know, different units. You know, I'm not something within myself. You know, I'm not both the, you know, the perceiver of the screen and the object on the screen at the same time. I mean, that... I mean, maybe in a different... but in this, it seems very difficult to kind of get any kind of logic around being two things at the same time, isn't it? So then, then if you say, 'Okay, you know, so I'm actually seeing from beyond the presence,' and, you know, and I mean, I'm actually seeing the presence and so therefore I'm like space that can see seeing, you know, seeing the space. I mean, that feels very natural. But then, then you also... then you're like, 'Okay, so then what is it? What is the sensations of the body? What is the world and all that?' We say the mind, but then I have to... then I'm, you know, then I have to say that, 'Okay, then it's all...' You all say it's a movie, it's all false, it's a movie, right? I cannot reconcile, you know, truly sort of being in the seeing position to then also then being, you know, like an object in the world that's seeking direction. I mean, I can't... I don't know how to do that equation, right? Because then it looks like then again you're kind of, you know, bifurcated into two. But then... I mean, the reason I'm just saying this is then, you know, you literally have to say that it's all false. And then if it's all false...

Let it be false for a moment. Yeah. So, one tip I have for you, yeah, and really try to just... you're doing really well, okay? Firstly, I have to say that you're doing really well. But the tip is that... okay, maybe a metaphor is coming up. So we find a diamond, is it? Then what happens is that we love the diamond, we like to look at it, we remain with it. Then after a while, what happens is that we start to talk about the diamond, but our vision of the diamond starts to go into the background, see? So what happens is that, 'It's made of these chemicals, this is the thing, it is the hardest substance,' and what you see, like that, like that. But in that process, you see, the vision of the diamond starts receding into the background, see? So what I want you to focus on is that, as like you start really well, you see, but somewhere the narrative gets taken over by the mind, by the intellect, you see. So just stay in that and just let me hear everything from His presence itself.

Like we clarified last time, if Bhagavan was living in a room within yourself, for what would you ever leave His presence? You wouldn't. So now, even when you have to ask a question, you have to explain something, just let Him do it for you. Let Him move, you see. Then the perfume of that will be something else. Otherwise, what will happen is that a little bit of ping-pong will happen there. True insight, and then in that true insight, there's an attempt to understand, you see. It takes us away from that true insight. So then that back and forth may seem to happen, even though as a mental category the entire thing may seem like it's spiritual. So are you getting a sense of what I'm saying, no?

I mean, from the heart, I'm getting a sense of just staying there. What you're saying, I just stay there and allow it to move my mouth.

It can seem a bit strange because we're used to... it's like we're reconfiguring the device. It's so used to being controlled by our head and now we're saying, 'Just hand it over. Don't worry about what is going to be said, but allow the presence itself to move you.' Your mind will fight that, say, 'But it doesn't say anything, it is silent only.' No, it's not true. The greatest intelligence in the universe is moving this entire Leela with trillions of planets in it. One mouth it can easily move. There's no trouble with that. Just allow everything to happen through that. If Krishna is with us, then what do we have to do? If Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi came to this room, then will I say, 'No, no, you sit over there, I'm going to talk'? Really stupid to do that, no? Say, 'Bhagavan, thank you. I sit in the corner,' you see, and He can speak. So if God's presence is there, then what do I have to do? What do I have to understand? What do I have to carry on my shoulders? Nothing. It's all His business. When you move like this in love and trust, and God moves, God moves this bundle of food in that way.

But in my experience what happened is...

In whose experience?

In my little department.

In your little department. Why do you keep going back to the little department? Stay in the big department.

Because it looks like it... it's so shattered, so broken. So then there is like this pain and suffering of this because there was such love and trust.

Okay. Is God here?

Yes.

It's that more like 'yes'?

So what... so everything...

No, but it seems like... is God here? How can there be something else after that? 'Oh, God is here, but you know, He's a bit busy right now so I'm busy with my own stuff.' Is it like that?

No. If I'm able to communicate what I'm trying to say, so maybe some better words will come from here. I'm just trying... we are clear that we're talking about God?

Yes. The God, yes. The one God who is the light of this entire, like, trillions of universes like this. The one.

Yes.

That one is here?

Yes.

And we still have like something that we think we have to do or understand or take care of?

It goes more that because you're saying, 'Move like that, let Him move, let it be moved through.' No, yeah.

So start now. I understand. Start now. Why not? So we can allow it to happen very naturally. It's very natural for us. When we were born as babies, actually, that's how we were. The mind didn't tell us, 'Love your mother, she's going to feed you,' you see. We just knew because God was moving us. Then the little department started getting built up. 'Oh, this has some good questions and answers, so let's go there,' and we got stuck over there. So spirituality is the return to that innocence.

It's like, um, my feeling of insight because it was so broken inside...

This is from the little department, yeah.

Looks like to leave it... what does it take for us to leave it? Is there fear? It's like some trauma, fear, trauma. It's trauma and then it...

So not knowing how, or actually even knowing how but worried about how it will go, what will happen. It's like bad experience, past gone, yeah. You're aware, you know it's sure, but it has the glue. Anyone who is living in God, do you feel like the mind is going to tell you, 'That was such a good experience, we should do that all the time,' huh? Do you feel like the mind is going to tell you, 'Ah, that was so good, just always be in God'? What do you think the mind is going to say? 'That is scary. Don't go there. See what happened last time.' And what last time? Your dream has just started. Can you really say this? Yeah, like this, blah blah, like this. Yeah. Leave it. To have a Guru and to follow your mind is wasting the Guru.

Anyone who is living in God, do you feel like the mind is going to tell you that was such a good experience, we should do that all the time? Huh? Do you feel like the mind is going to tell you, 'Ah, that was so good, just always be in God'? What do you think the mind is going to say? 'That is scary, don't go there. See what happened last time.' And what last time? Your dream has just started. Can you really say this? Yeah, like this, blah blah, like this. Yeah, leave it. To have a Guru and to follow your mind is wasting the Guru. It's like having the best house in the world and spending all day building a hut for yourself. Why would you do that?

God is the very source of goodness. To be with God can never be bad. Things are good only when they come from Him anyway. So our mind is between the two: whether to trust our mind's determination of what was good and what was bad, versus to be in God's light, to be guided by the Atma within, the Holy Spirit within. It's literally a no-brainer. It's like a mental brain connection. Oh, there is God, and the bed is for leave where you can understand. I can leave it. Somehow we don't understand that you can just do it.

Just convincing me for a really, really long time how to help the human condition. Humanity is in this condition, you see. We say humanity seems to have this condition. But if you can't be an alcoholic and run the rehab center—it's good to have been one, you see. So those who run rehab centers, it's good for them to have been one and then to have been out of it and come out of it. So that is the best we have. But if you're still continuing the habit, then you can't run the rehab. It's good to have been one because then when the others come with their troubles, you can resonate, you can relate with them. Otherwise, you just say to everyone, 'You're just so stupid, what are you doing?' But because you were there, you remember how it was being in mental oppression. So you are worthy then of running the rehab.

But you can't go run the rehab with the idea that 'I must really live their life.' So if they're having seven drinks a day, then I must also have seven drinks a day, then I can really understand them. You can't run the rehab. You have to stop the habit for yourself before you can help others break the habit. And the mind tells you, 'But I did it in the past, it didn't turn out well.' What do you think it's going to say? It's not going to say, 'That was perfect, go back, do that.' When the mind is pulling you in for the next drink, you see, it's not going to say, 'See how beautiful it was when you were sober.' It is only going to say, 'You have the drink, you feel so good, you'll forget your pain.' Is it so?

It's when you say that God's here, and then what should I just be saying? And I'm surrendering somewhere, but I feel it's not right. Disclaimers to disclaimers to all the chaupai. But the thing is that, okay, then that God can help me not believe my mind. But same as advice as that, you don't dip into true insight and then live outside that. Live where the true insight is now. Finish.

And don't do it slowly. Remember to be slow because what happens is the mind rushes us, you see, into conclusions. So just slow. Stay in your heart. Stay in His light. Come what may. No separation. And now you live in God's presence. Yeah.

And no, so that kind of I felt like that would be God because there was no separation, but I was in hell. Is that kind of leave everything just now, live in God? So if I'm just go like this and I'm deeply now actually it's a separation. I can basically, it's a separate thing, but this feels fine. This feels God is like this, something like this. Just live in God, you know what I mean?

Yeah, you're trying to understand. No, it's not the understanding. It's not the yes. Every moment live in God's presence. The mic is gone off with your nose. You turned it off. So I hear you, don't I? I know that somewhere you can feel like I'm not hearing. Kind of this state is a separated state. I hear you. And maybe it happened that you needed this anchor of God's presence and the love of God's presence to anchor you rather than remaining in a pure Nirguna thing. So you, for now, just stay in God's presence.

There are many stories in Indian spirituality of sages where—not that I'm at all making comparison—but maybe in the modern world we have to live with this foolish one, so what to do? Of these ones, of disciples who came who already had magnificent awakenings but they were not anchored, they were not settled. So after they met the sage and the sage gave them some advice, then they settled into it spontaneously. Maybe something's happened, maybe some were born like that, we can't really see. To meet the Master provides an anchor to that. Otherwise, the mind can certainly put a lot of fear in there, inject a lot of scary narratives in there. Maybe in the world also we have some experiences which corroborate those narratives.

So what I'm saying is that all that has happened may have happened, it's fine. But now it is important for you to be anchored in His presence, in His love, and that will take care of everything else. Sometimes I don't always give the long version, but don't feel that I don't hear you. But I do hear you. Many times the explanation also becomes part of our mental constructs and the mind starts solving those. You just follow with the simplicity without the full explanation needed, then it makes it easier for you. Because the mind will try to resolve: 'Okay, is this what happened to me? Was it like a big awakening which didn't have an anchor, and now the anchor will help?' You see, even all that thinking will take you away from God's presence.

But still, sometimes it's helpful to have just like a beautiful explanation and the mind just kind of gives a rest. So it can be also beneficial in some way in that inside understanding. It's fine like that as well. So how to determine what one needs to hear? If you were to try and calculate, 'Okay, this one needs to hear explanation, this one needs just the instruction, this one needs pointing,' then it could never happen. This mouth just has to be a servant of the heart and what God's guidance is. And there has to be trust in that here as well as there.

Because what we think we need also, we think, you know, PASD—Post Awakening Stress Disorder. So now I need to settle. Is that a good explanation? Kind of good. So now what is the antidote for that? Remain in God's presence. Like in America, everything has a condition. So you have that condition, then we feel like, 'Oh, that is the condition. Okay, what is the treatment? Paracetamol twice a day.' Not that there aren't conditions; there are conditions also, and the human condition is full of conditions.

How it was, that was very like... and then it just goes deeper though. I do get convincing things and ideas.

Suppose, okay, there was a boy called Ashok. Suppose now his life was reasonable, it is fine. So what was happening in his life was 50% he was listening to what the Master was telling him to do and 50% he was listening to what the mind was telling him to do. What do you feel happened with Ashok? What do you feel? Not mad, but just that oscillation is too much. The roller coaster. In a way, all of us are that Ashok. But it's not fun. I used to say it's like taking off on the plane but trying to keep one foot on the ground. You're going to be stretched badly. So somebody has to take a risk and say, 'Okay, if this one is telling me, if this one feels true in my heart, I just have to follow.' Because if you put it through the filter of what your intellect is saying about it, it won't always work.

And my point really is very simple actually. If God is God, then why would we not want to be in His presence more than anything else? Unless we've reduced God to some sort of just theory or just some sort of force or energy or some force of nature, some idea in our heads. But if God is really God and His presence can be lived in, then why not live in His presence?

You see, when I had this few years ago, this was so I could not say no or doubt. Just complete push basically. And I had mind and I knew mind and I would just go for a walk, it didn't matter, it was just so easy. But this time it's saying, it's like saying, 'Did you see what happened last time?' and then all the things that follow. So now it's like a huge horrible story on it called PASD.

Yeah, actually something so... how many more years should we spend talking about PASD? You decide today. You tell me. We will just talk about that as long as you like. One more year? Two? Should we take two? Don't say this whole lifetime. If you want, how would you like to play this? The fear goes away, the trauma goes away. Never can do anything. God and God's love is that anchor. No greater anchor than that. I understand this fear, this concern. It can feel worse than death. Yeah, that is... there's no higher anchor in the universe than God's love, His light, His presence.

How is it possible? I know this, I understand this, and the other side keeps like that banging.

It's like that because many of us know that there are no monsters in the cupboard. Like all of us know, hopefully, that there are no monsters in the cupboard, and yet we feel scared sometimes.

But then I felt like there's a monster in the cupboard.

If you know there's no monster in the cupboard, how come we feel scared of the monster in the cupboard? A child says—no, a child says to the parent, it's a famous example in psychology—'Father, if there is no monster in the cupboard, then why do I feel scared?' What's the answer? You believe it. You believe it's real. And the fear may come, the fear may come, but to try to determine reasons for it is a losing proposition. To hold on tight to God's light is the winning proposition.

I need to talk about this. Yeah, I had this so clear before. It was so clear. And was it the arrogance that was so clear that there was no monster? But then I had to kind of see the monster. Could be, could be. And now I'm scared of the monster, that there is no monster, but before I was clear that there is no monster and now I created the monster. It's there basically. There's one.

So that is arrogance. If you go to a homeopath, you get these white round pills for everything. Apparently they're different, but if you have them, they all taste the same. So yeah, this mostly alcohol and some micro-something apparently. So I have that homeopathic pill which is God's presence. Whatever your ailment is, I will offer you that pill because I know that that is the only antidote to everything in the human condition. And we don't need to do the postmortem and say this was because of this and this was because of that, because the 'because' is always nonsense. Why anything? Why anything? Why do you exist? Why is there something instead of nothing?

So it could be just one doubt and that is the... yeah, out.

Yeah, it's like a virus, it multiplies. Stay away from the 'why' question. Embrace the 'who' question. Humans have been around apparently for a long time; not one 'why' they've been able to solve. In science, somehow they've made some theories about some of the 'hows'. The 'whys' are far out. Why anything? Why this creation? Why this existence? Why being from that which is beyond being and not being? Intellect is not big enough to fathom true reasoning, and that is why the mind is attracted to that because that can become lifetimes of the project. I can see us playing this game for a million more lifetimes.

What stops us then? You can, but in my last life I remember, I have memory of that, I was completely empty, but it turned out like that.

You then, but two lives ago, but three lives... what stops us from playing this game? Literally a Groundhog Day. The whole story of Lakshmana and Vashistha is also Groundhog Day. So when will we snap out of it? I'm telling you that the light in your heart is the light of this entire universe. Everything—time, space, electricity, gravity, magnetism, sound, light—everything comes from that. It's within you, within yourself. But if you say, 'Yes, yes, but...' how can there be a 'yes, but'? If I said to you Bhagavan came in my dream last night, he said at exactly 6:44 p.m...

What stops us from playing this game? Literally a Groundhog Day. The whole story of Lakshmana and Vashistha is also Groundhog Day. So when will we snap out of it? I'm telling you that the light in your heart is the light of this entire universe. Everything—time, space, electricity, gravity, magnetism, sound, light—everything comes from that. It's within you, within yourself. But if you say, 'Yes, yes, but...' how can there be a 'yes, but'?

If I said to you, 'Bhagavan came in my dream last night. He said at exactly 6:44 p.m. today, I will make an appearance in the Mandir at the back,' and I say to you that it was really him, I trust that. Then how many of you will say, 'Yes, yes, but you know, what about the fact that, you know, I don't agree with his dressing choices? Why he always wore this loincloth?' It's irrelevant what he did. He's going to come. I'm telling you that God is here. How long will we take evidence from this Maya and say, 'Yes, but'? There's no end to that. And everybody is 'But what about me?' And that is the habit, as you said. So that is an indirect way of saying God's presence, 'Yes, but Maya, but Maya, but Maya.' Because Maya is what? 'Ma' means 'not,' 'ya' means 'that.' So the whole life is like that: God, yes, but me. So the Atma within, the Holy Spirit, is the escape hatch from Maya. You dive into that. You open the door, just dive into that. Don't think about what's going to happen here, this, that. Not even 'Yes, yes, but I did dive in the past.'

So in the example of the monster and the cupboard, you said there's the question of 'who' and then there's the question of 'why.' Can you just give an example? I feel I know what it is, but just maybe elaborate.

Maybe I said it wrong, but basically I'm saying that we are very attracted—the mind is very attracted—to the 'why' question. 'Why me? Why does it happen to me?' But the mind is not at all attracted to 'whom.' To change the 'why' to the 'who,' this one alphabet change.

The way I interpreted it—and this is what fits in with the monster in the cupboard—who is the monster? The seeming problem? No, no, no. I say the 'why' is thinking of reasons of why it's there and how to remove it. And then the 'who' is: who is concerned? Or who is perceiving here? Who is here? Who is him?

It's not even as if we have two presences to choose from. Door number one: God's presence. Door number two: my presence. This 'me' doesn't have a presence. It's just a bundle of ideas. So I'm saying the only presence that you have, stay with that. Don't go with the mind. There's no presence for this 'me.' It is the believed idea. If I said to all of you, 'Okay, close your eyes,' and start convincing you that you're a turtle living on the banks of some pond, you see, within a hundred thoughts, you will want to know what happened next in the turtle story. What happened to that turtle? How old was it? Did it survive? Did it run from the alligator? This is how identification forms.

So this name that we've taken ourselves to be is attached to all these narratives, all these stories, but it doesn't actually have a presence. So when we say 'person is here,' it is just the hypnosis of believing the thought which makes us believe that there's a separate individuality. Of course, ignorance and stupidity are the same. So Bhagavan said Avidya. Avidya is just a nice way of saying stupidity. And when I say this, I feel proud. Stop it, you see. Stay in God's presence.

And we may hear this conversation and say, 'Why isn't she just staying in God's presence? He's told her like fifty times,' you know, like that. But this is our condition for all of us, this one included. That sometimes the mind comes and offers us things and we leave him and we go with that. So we must never believe that we are following better or something like that. It's important to notice this in our own life. We do exactly the same thing. I know that with everyone else's questions, we always feel like, 'Why can't they just drop it? Just drop it.' But our questions seem more real and alive and true. It's not like that. It's the same thing.

Is there a 'how'? Yes, yes, yes. This 'how.' This one is just to drop it, like you said. If the dropping seems difficult because the mind is repetitive in nature, you see, then you inquire, or you pray, or you surrender.

All spirituality is to show us to drop it. So all of the spiritual methods are just the 'how' to drop. And if it is not the 'how' to drop, then it's not really spirituality. So if something bothers us and we hand it over to God's feet and we pray to him and say, 'Please, Father, help me with this,' that is one way to drop it. When the thought comes that 'I did not do the right thing,' then to ask yourself, 'Who is this doer? Who is this I?' That is another way to drop it. Just to say, 'Just take it up with God because I'm just a servant to him.' That true devotion, that true servitude, is to drop it. Even humility is a way to drop it. Because the mind says, 'You're so stupid, you see, you will never get this.' So just to accept and say, 'Yes, I am stupid, and everything good that is here only comes from God.' That's a way to drop it. To have faith is a way to drop it. That I cannot fear because he is here with me. That is to drop it. So all of spirituality is to drop the false.

And with this policeman and thief metaphor, it's the same?

Yes, the policeman and the thief metaphor is very important because the method of how to drop must come from our heart or from our Master, you see. Because the mind will just take us on a trick and say, 'It's not me anyway, it's the feeling, it's the energy, it's other people.' That's the favorite one, by the way. 'I'm fine; those guys, those are the ones.'

Because even when it's very clear, this thief and policeman, it still keeps playing.

So you use the tools. I've given you some tools to discern whether it is coming from the head or the heart. Is it accompanied with the fragrance of unconditional love? Is his presence palpable to you? Is the reality of the pure witnessing apparent to you? If any of these things are there, then you can trust the guidance that is coming from your heart. It's not the thief dressed up as the policeman. But your mind will rush you and say, 'No, no, you can't wait to check on these things, we're in a rush.' So don't get rushed by the mind. That's the number one trick. 'There's no time, there's no time, come, come, come.' Slow it down. To wait fifty years to hear God's direction and not do anything would be better than following the instant instruction from the mind. Not that it will take fifty years, but even if it did.

That's why I say that when you start your day, start in God's presence, you see. So you start in the right way. And even if it feels like the mind is very active, it's taking too long, you're missing your meetings, you have important things to do—cancel, cancel, cancel. Don't worry. Losing your job, losing money, losing everything—because being egoic is never auspicious and being godly, even if it takes time, always is. And that can seem like the risk. 'Can I go with my mind and not with God's guidance?' No, we can't, you see. Because that one thing, you could be lost for lifetimes. You don't know. So we should be grateful that we are still in satsang, we are still open to listening about God's presence. Because the mind may catch you with one thing and then you may remember God again after many years. So beautiful that we end up coming day after day. We don't know; one thought may lead us. Who can repeat the Krishna and Narada story? I've said it a few times. I want to hear a fresh version of it. Anyone?

Krishna and Sri Narada are on a walk, and Sri Narada asks Krishna something. I forgot what. Can you tell me what Maya is? And Krishna says, 'Okay, I will tell you. Just bring me a glass of water first.' Then Narada says, 'Okay.' And then he goes by a nearby pond to get some water, and there he sees some girl, some woman, and he falls in love with her. And he marries her, and then he has children, and then he's busy with all the household things and making money and running his family and all that. And then he probably also has grandchildren, and he's old. It's been like many years. And then one day that nearby river has a very big flood, and in that flood his home is destroyed, and his wife and his kids and his grandkids are all going with the water. And he's trying to save them, but first his grandkids are dead in the water, and then his kids are gone. Finally, his wife is also going in the water. And when this subsides, then he remembers. Then he repents, like, 'How could God do this to me?' And when he's about to complain, then he realizes that Krishna had asked him about water. And as soon as he remembers Krishna, then all these things go away, vanish. And so that is how Krishna is explaining what is Maya.

He says, 'What was this, Lord? What did I just go through?' You see? So Krishna tells him that, 'You asked me what is Maya, you see, and now I showed you what it is.' And in the midst of Maya, you forgot what you went to the pond or river for—to get me water. I was forgotten. Everything, all this was forgotten, and only that life seemed real. Your attachment seemed to be the most important thing. You see? So that is the nature of Maya. Just one thought: 'Wouldn't it be nice to get to know this girl?' He was just at the river, and that one thought, he bought into that. Then he forgot about Krishna. Then he's making friends with her and all that life story started.

And I'm not at all saying that you must not have relationships or marriages and families and all of that. I'm just saying that inwardly our focus has to be God, whereas outwardly all these actions can happen. But if you were to start getting attached to this more than to God's presence in our life, then soon the whole project becomes to try and make the hell seem palatable, livable, by things like drinking and smoking and all kinds of bad habits and things like that. Why? It's an attempt to escape the pain, to chase pleasure through all of this, where the source of all goodness, all pleasure, all love, all peace is inside, not outside.

That's why I call them methods to try and make hell seem palatable, hell seem livable. 'Okay, you know, I'm in hell, but let me at least try and build a nice house. I know I'm going to die, but at least let me live it up while I'm still alive.' All these things don't get us anywhere. Carpe diem, seize the moment. After seizing five moments, you're tired. Who has seized ten moments? It all sounds very good in theory, but unless we come to God, nothing works. Look, like today I'm laughing at my own joke. I'm imagining somebody seizing the moment: 'Yes, this one, this one, this.' And because the anchor and the grounding is missing, then we fall for every philosophy that comes our way. One day like this, the next day someone else comes like that. 'Oh, not this, that, that.' Because there's no real grounding. Mostly in the human condition, we are just like children running from place to place pretending to be grown-ups.

So we are very susceptible to WhatsApp University and things that we just hear from someone because we have no real anchor which gives us a sense of stability. And what more do we need to happen in our lives and in the world for us to see that actually there cannot be a worse hell than this? Brothers are killing each other for lines on a map. Willing to kill each other. We are willing to kill each other for the families we were born in. 'Oh, but I am Hindu, you're Muslim, you're Christian, you're this thing.' We are willing to claim that we are better than others because it's just pure chance you were born in that family or that country or that religion or whatever. Is this not hell? Humanity has forgotten God's light. His grace is forgotten, and we do all of this stuff. So to live in his light is heaven. To live in egotism and selfishness is hell. We don't need the outside to change, although if we live in his light, then the outside may change also.

I am Hindu, you're Muslim, you're Christian, you're this thing. We are willing to claim that we are better than others because it's just pure chance you were born in that family or that country or that religion or that whatever. Is this not hell? Humanity has forgotten God's light; His grace is forgotten and we do all of this stuff. So, to live in His light is heaven; to live in egotism and selfishness is hell. We don't need the outside to change, although if we live in His light, then the outside may change also. But first, what is our religion? Is it to our selfishness or is it to love? See the moment for this, not to grasp where we think every opportunity in the world... what's going to happen? Everything is going to die. Can we all say that if we follow the next thought we will not be like Narada? Can we predict? We cannot predict. It could be for all of us. I may go out from even while sitting here, some thought may... oh wow, that's it, bye. Can we predict? We can't predict. So we must be so grateful for this moment where we are not in that hypnosis. His love is palpable to us; His presence is palpable to us.

The majority of the world is ignorant, but we want so much confirmation from these people and validation that you have to be successful and rich and all those things. And the funny thing is that any of these things, if you really dig deeper, what do you mean by success? What will happen once you're successful? It's like the Zen story where two farmers are friends. They're sitting. One farmer has been doing a lot of work and tending to his fields and things like that, and the other one has just been sitting, you know? So the farmer who worked a lot said, 'What are you doing? You see, why don't you go and do some work?' So the other one says, 'So then what will happen?' 'Then the crops will come.' 'Then what will happen?' 'Then you can sell them for money.' 'Then what will happen?' 'Then you can build a house.' 'Then what will happen?' 'Then you can get a wife.' 'Then what will happen?' 'Then you can have children.' 'Then what will happen?' He says, 'Okay, all this is done, then what will happen?' 'Then you can just relax.' So he says, 'Exactly what I'm doing now.' It's a simplistic one, but there's something in there.

Something that the world's ideas of... most of it is just misery loves company. Just like if you're miserable, how dare you be happy? You also, you're not looking at things right. What about your responsibilities? And the arrogance in that is the presumption that God cannot do all of this if you were to surrender to Him. It is just astounding. It's so strange that other species don't have this. Hopefully, I don't think the bird says at the end of the migration, 'See, I decided the route so well. I didn't even need a map. I went to the right continent when the season changed.' That intelligence which makes them do that is running our life as well. And you're right that even those of us who feel like we are free from the mind here, we still fall for the traps that come from another's mind. 'You are like that.' Then the mind says, 'Oh, are you like that? I'm not like that.' You see, position thoughts about other people's thoughts still seem to grab us. But actually, without us believing this mind, it doesn't matter what anyone says.

Somebody says, 'You are the most useless, irresponsible, good-for-nothing waste. There's no point in your spirituality also.' Most of our families have told us this. 'Really? Is it really helping going to satsang? You still get angry, you still... there's no point, no point.' They tell us these things. But if our mind was not to... or we were not to believe or identify with our mind, it doesn't matter. But our mind is ready also to play the dance, to dance the dance. 'How could you? How did you? Don't talk about my satsang!' Some of your family will be telling you, 'Ananta is useless, you know? It has not helped you at all.' 'Don't talk about my Master like that!' Like that. I'm not saying I need any defending, and they're probably right. So whatever you feel works for you—inquiry, love, prayer, faith, humility, service, being empty, waiting for His guidance—everything, whatever works, just dive into your heart. Dive into His presence. Stay there. The mind will pull us out. It pulls all of us out. But as soon as you notice, don't think about why, what, when, this will not stop, none of that. Just dive back in. That's all. You don't have to understand anything. Only understand what your heart is showing you. That's all.

When we do that, what you just said, and you see how it really does actually work, you feel so grateful to that which you have shown as a, you know, the habit of trying to figure it out that just like, just completely abandoned. I don't even... that gratitude, that thankfulness, then adds further fire to the fire of being in His presence. It deepens our faith; it deepens our trust. As distant as it may seem, as difficult as it may seem, just start now. Take one step towards God now. One step now is worth more than a big project tomorrow. Tomorrow you want to change the world and help thousands of people; one step now is better than that. But that tomorrow will not come. It's Maya. Tell a brother on the road, bring a smile to their face now, rather than having some big plans tomorrow. Not that you can't do those things, but I'm saying that the mind always says, 'Yes, yes, yes, I have big plans, my intentions are very good, but tomorrow.' Okay.

Hands are up. Okay, let's go and see. Namaste, brother. Namaste. Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Thank you. Okay, let's go to Sam. Thank you. The distance, the difference between the operation of the mind and just suddenly falling into presence... the difference between the mic and this mic is like that. She didn't experience it, so she can't agree.

I'm struggling a little bit. Yes, it's a little bit about... not a little bit, it's directly about money. I confirm, Father, that yes, God is taking care of every little single thing. I have no doubt. Of course, pressure from... in this case, I understand my family too. Of course, it's not easy for them. I mean, it's their satsang too, Father, so I have so much compassion for them. I understand them. But sometimes I'm just opening my hands because I don't even know what to say when I am asked. And I'm so grateful they don't even ask, but sometimes it's not easy. And yes, like, I don't know. I don't know sometimes. Even though I don't have any doubt that He's taking care of, sometimes I'm questioning like, 'Does it really have to be like this?' I don't know. I'm sorry, I just resist a lot to not bring this to you, but yes, because sometimes I feel like, 'Am I really like a parasite?' Yes, life is taking care of me, but do they have to do this?

I want to tell you first that in the more than ten years I've been sharing satsang, hundreds of children have come and talked about money and concerns about money. But God has taken care of every single one of them.

Yes, Father, He does. But if God... but they are complaining and they are not happy to do this. And that time I become like... then God, if they don't want to take care, then how can I force anyone?

If ever any of you has a family that is completely happy with your spirituality, just tell me, I'll move with them. So don't expect them to be happy. Don't expect them to be comfortable. They really are doing their best.

I see that. I really honor them so much also. And I see recently, like, I'm more like a space and presence which brings auspiciousness, Father, to everyone's life. I will say this not because of me, but because I'm available for your grace to flow somehow. So I'm not a parasite. Nobody's a parasite. Nobody is a parasite. If God is taking care of everyone, then everyone is shining in His light. Nobody's a parasite. But I want to see that movie, though. I haven't seen it here. Really good? The movie, some of you have seen it or no? Parasite. It's like this only. It's about this only, no? One family moves into another family's house and apparently they stay there undiscovered and like parasites. So anyway, that reminded me of this movie. I have to see.

Sorry to bring this, but just recently I'm so much crying about this. Like yesterday I came to a place like, 'God, it doesn't matter, I'm just completely surrendering to You.' But again, in a way it came like, 'Oh, am I like... not lazy, but I don't know, like, am I a parasite? Maybe I'm really, really like depending on someone, something.' These waves are coming, but I have to say that I'm really seeing and I have no doubt that none of my needs are not met. Like, I have complete trust in God, just complete 100%, Father. But yeah, this thing just makes me a little bit... because I don't want to be a burden to anyone. Even though, as I said, I see that I can say, I'm declaring that I'm bringing auspiciousness to people's life only because of You, of course. I'm not claiming it. So yes, thank you. Bless you. Bless.