It Is Only Avidyā Which Blocks Us From Living in God’s Presence - 16th February 2024

Oh, thank you so much. Yeah, I feel very blessed by the time I've been sharing with you and in this last year has been just amazing and amazing deepening. I mean for all of us, I know that. And I just, again and again and again since the beginning, I'm just grateful for the discovery of satsang and seva, which are the two parts of the same thing.

Very good, very good. Oh, thank you so much. Thank you, thank you, my dear. Very good, very good. Okay, okay. Let's go to Bodhi.

Namaste, Father.

Namaste.

And don't know how to express this but I just want to say thank you, thank you, thank you. That's all.

Thank you. Very welcome, very welcome. Thank you. There's something astounding, you see, which satsang is meant to share, but the words to share that are really difficult because the vocabulary as it is defined, or the language as it is defined, is used to talk about the objects of the world and the events happening in the world. But really this world, it's just reflection shining on your surface. It seems very real—we'll come back to you in a moment—so it seems very real, the events here seem very important, but really it's just a projection playing on the screen of your surface. But what is inside you, what is inside yourself, is much beyond what the human mind can fathom. And to understand that, we need the presence of the Satguru within, the presence of the Atma, Satguru, Holy Spirit, Consciousness—whatever word we want to use for that. The term is not so important, but fundamentally, in the light of God's presence can God's reality be recognized. It is not possible to do without that because that is your only guide which takes you beyond what is fathomable in the realm of perceptions and in the realm of thoughts.

So if you have the feeling that this presence, this Atma, this Holy Spirit is not apparent to you, it's okay. So if the sense is that you don't feel like you are guided, you don't feel like this presence, you don't feel like this Atma within is palpable for you, then my suggestion is to dedicate yourself completely to this quest. And I'm reiterating that our life really seems very eventful and full of things and all of that, but without coming to the Atma within, it is literally a zombie life. So it is not a life when we consider ourselves to be a bundle of flesh, when we take ourselves to be just this bucket of food, you see, old food, and we take it to be ourselves and we go through the pain of suffering, the pain of anxiety, worry, regret, remorse, guilt, pride, you see. And we live under the constant fear, although we may try to hide it and we may try to repress it, but we all know that death is coming for that which we take ourselves to be, you see.

So our pleasure-seeking a lot of time is just to avoid meeting the question of, you see, what is real or what is the ultimate goal, what is the ultimate destination of this body which is on the fire or under the ground. So we want to avoid looking at that by saying, 'Let's enjoy this moment.' But this version of carpe diem, which is to seize this moment, is all upside down because we're missing really what is most obvious in this moment and going after just the content of this moment for some future pleasure, not really about this moment itself. So we're missing the most obvious reality of God's presence and that which is aware even of that, which is your ultimate reality. And we are avoiding that meeting through filling our time up with, really it has to be said, nonsensical things, which is the human condition, not just all of us.

So it's really important to either prove me right or prove me wrong. You can't just—I've given you some news, I've told you that God's presence is here and it can be found. You can't just say, 'Okay, we'll see, it will happen when it is meant to happen. Isn't it God's will anyway?' you see. But everything else is your will. So don't conveniently use satsang to avoid coming to the holiest meeting, to the holy discovery of the Atma within. So that is the spirit part of spirituality, you see. And to practice spirituality without spirit is not spirituality at all. So many of our brothers and sisters in the world may say that they are very spiritual, but they're neither looking for spirit nor are they living in spirit. There are only two worthwhile modes of human existence, you see, which is to either look for spirit or to live in spirit.

So does this sound too far out, far-fetched, or can it be possible that we can transform our life to living in the light of the Atma within and the light of God's presence within? It seems difficult? Is good. Thank you. So let's then identify what makes it difficult so that we can clear the path. We can clear the path. So why don't you start? What makes it difficult? And by the way, before you start, I'm not at all saying that it is easy. So I'm not saying that you have it wrong and I'm going to show you how you have it wrong, actually it's very easy. It will seem difficult probably for as long as we live, but hopefully it'll get easier and easier as we go along. So the choice is really simple, but to live that is not necessarily easy. So what makes it difficult?

Attachment.

Attachment. Different. Okay, let's start with this. Everyone can agree that attachment is one of the things that makes it difficult? Yes. So what is attachment?

It's just being stubborn, holding on to something that gives us nothing.

Yeah, so holding on like this with physical—in a physical way, is this attachment? Not this, because you could hold on to this and still be in God's presence. It doesn't stop you, you see.

You can hold on with our attention like that.

Yeah, but that's fine. That doesn't give you trouble. Even attention is fine. So even attention, attachment is not caused because of that then. So not physical, not attention, then what is the nature of attachment?

Insistence that we are what we are not.

Yeah, an insistence of something, of being something that we are not. And how do you do that work of insistence?

Which is buy into the whole discourse, this whole voice in the head.

Yeah, so we buy into the voice in our head and we—what is the instrument of buying?

My belief, my identity.

My—giving importance to it, yes. So what is the specific thing so that we can really zero in? Can we—is identity a byproduct or is identity a tool?

Identity results from false belief.

False belief, yes. So we know this. Everyone has told us, 'Don't buy into your mind's narratives, don't buy into the stories and you'll be fine.' So everyone knows this. Why don't we just do it?

Because we're stubborn, maybe.

Maybe we're stubborn, you see. But we can say in a way that it is the human condition. It is the human condition to keep going to these thoughts, and the going itself with attention is not enough to cause trouble, but to buy into the narratives of those stories, you see. And because it seems to be a pervasive human condition, therefore then the sages must have prescribed some ways in which we can break out of that condition. Once we identify that it is grasping that is causing suffering, then we recognize that without grasping we are free. Then this is the problem that the sages of the past must have helped us to look at and get over, you see. So among everything that is prescribed, what is that which works or resonates most with you?

It depends. Lately it's more prayer. In the morning I do the prayer and then during the day I go to those words. But sometimes I feel like I have to inquire because if I inquire it's almost as if I'm free again.

Yeah, so prayer and inquiry is a beautiful combination. You can pray, maybe you can start your day with a prayer, come to God's presence and then move. Are you able to follow that? That's a question. So start with God's presence as we've been saying at the beginning of the day.

Yes, but it doesn't guarantee that the day is going to go—

Doesn't guarantee, yes it doesn't. But it's a good start.

Yes, so—

Are you starting like that every day?

Yeah, very—some days, but very few days not. But it's most of them.

Most of them, that's good. So as long as all of us can at least attempt, endeavor to start our day—don't leave the bed without coming to God's presence, you see. That itself is a major escape velocity from the temptation of the ego. You start the day with some escape, otherwise the gravitational force of the mind will pull you and straight up. Many of you have noticed this, that the mind tries first thing in the morning when you wake up: 'You have to do this, you have to check your phone, you have to answer to your email, this has to be done, this has to be done.' So it tries in the guise of planning your day, it just pulls you into the identity, isn't it? So instead of that, whatever you're using, whether it is inquiry, whether it is prayer, whether it is any devotional singing, anything that brings you to God's presence, start with that and commit that you will not start your day without meeting God. That's a good place to start.

Then you said it's no guarantee that the rest of the day will be spent in His presence. That's right. So what happens? You meet God, then you go about your day, you start talking to your, you know, relationships, maybe you start replying on the phone, maybe you start engaging with the world in some way. Then what happens? How does God's presence go away?

I don't know. I get caught in some interaction by anger or impatience.

So you're saying it's not that identification, it's not about believing, it's about the appearance of anger or impatience?

No, no. It's about being stubborn and not wanting to let go.

Yes, but what is it about? The feeling, or is it about the—

No, no, no. I'm grabbing. I'm choosing to grab.

Yes, and that grabbing, just to clarify for—

Maybe you start engaging with the world in some way, then what happens? How does God's presence go away? I don't know. I get caught in some interaction by anger or impatience.

So you're saying it's not that identification, it's not about believing, it's about the appearance of anger or impatience?

No, no. It's about being stubborn and not wanting to let go.

Yes, but what is it? Is it about the feeling or is it about the—

No, no, no. I'm grabbing. I'm choosing to grab.

Yes, and that grabbing—just to clarify for everyone—what can we grab at?

False.

Yes, but what false? What false?

False knowledge.

False knowledge. Or so suppose anger is here. Okay, now what will you do with it? That would be fine if it was just that. It'll be fine. So what causes trouble? It's happened so many times that this comes so many times, happened so many times in the past, that it's something goes into character. Goes into character, like 'I'm the one.' So this is happening and you go into character. Yes, just like that. Because this is happening, you get into character. What is that character? The angry one. So this is happening and like that. So that's identification. You want me to go slower? Yes, to break it down really. So the feeling came and then, you see, because this is very important to break down. It may seem strange that why is he insisting on really going really slow? Because we have to identify the real trouble. And if I propose to you that the real trouble is not in any attention given to any perception—no, no, a thought, a thought will come or many thoughts will come. Yeah. So the thought will come and then it says, 'He should not be like this, she should not be like this,' you see. So the appearance of the thought itself, what does it do? So there is now the anger and there's the thought. Thought is saying 'unfair, unfair' something, let's say. So then, look at it slowly. Then it seems to stop being only a voice that is saying something and it seems to be my voice.

I see. Okay, good. So let's use the benchmark of God's presence. So God's presence was here. You started your day with that. Then in the appearance of the anger, did the presence go away? No, it didn't go away. In the appearance of the thought, did the presence go away? So at which point does the presence seem to become hidden?

It's like I deny it myself by becoming something that I'm not.

Yeah. How?

Because I give value to this thing.

To this. You give value to the construct which the thought is offering. So now how would your prayer or inquiry help in this situation?

Because of love. It's love. It's love.

So when we pray, you see, our thoughts are basically offering us pride, whether we see it or not. That 'I am something,' that 'I am somethingness' itself is pride. Because if you're referring to God's presence within ourselves or we're referring to the absolute nature of our reality, that doesn't need the reinforcement of thoughts to make us into something. You see, everything else that we take ourselves to be, you see, and not give thanks or gratitude to God for that—if it is good and we claim ownership of that individually, that is pride. Because there's nothing really else here which is special or worthy or important in any way. And if you're new in satsang, that may sound a bit harsh to hear, but we can investigate together and see. But this is my proposition and you must prove me right or prove me wrong. I'm happy if you say, 'But you're so wrong.' You see, there is something to me and here it is. Here the 'me' is the owner of this special quality. The one that wants to be special, the one that wants to be valued, the one that wants to be worth something. See, here it is. So when we pray, we are actually saying that I am not anything special. I am nobody really. And if it is your will, if it is your grace, then please help me in this situation because I don't have the capacity, I don't have the power. So we turn to the holiness within ourselves to ask for assistance. That is to pray.

In the same way, you could inquire and say, 'But I deserve better.' Suppose that is the overriding idea: 'I deserve better.' Then you can inquire and ask, 'Who is this I?' Your mind itself will come and tell you, 'But I don't want to, I don't want to.' So ask, 'Who is that I that doesn't want to?' Whatever you settle for, inquire into that. And if they are repetitive patterns, you must inquire into them consistently till that narrative becomes laughable. Are you doing that?

I don't inquire consistently till it becomes laughable, yeah.

So take for example—you don't have to say the actual thing if you don't want to—but for example, what could be a thought which is repetitive and gets you over and over again?

I don't know. You put me on the spot like that, I can't come up with something.

So, 'I can't come up with something.' Let's take that. So who is this I? Now it's just an expression. The 'I' is just an expression. So you are just an expression?

No.

So who are you? The one that can't come up with anything at this point. Who is that one?

I'm not the one that can't come up with—

No, but who are you?

I'm only here.

Who are you that is here?

Emptiness.

Emptiness. So whatever the recognition is like this, you notice the narrative and the recognition are never matching. What we are troubling ourselves with and what we recognize about ourselves, they're never together on the same page. See? So what should we drop? The recognition or the narrative? Because you saw that there is nobody like that who can't come up with anything, who is got upset, any—whatever the narrative may be. When you recognize that there is nobody like that, then it is difficult to hold on to the narrative. Because in spite of the lies that we believe, we only want to believe the truth. Nobody wants to believe a lie, you see. But the mind offers these as truths. But when we recognize the truth, then the falsity that the mind offers is dropped because we recognize it is false.

Inquiry is much easier with you. Sometimes when I inquire by myself, it becomes a mind exercise.

And that's why prayer, prayer is good. Prayer is good. Head bowed down, surrender is good. Faith is good. The mind offers you things and if you have faith in God, then you can say it is God, it's for God to manage. So all the whole bouquet of tools is available to you. And it's available to you because it is clear that not every tool, not a single tool, is always—we are not resonating with that always. So even as the inquiry, some of you may have heard, you may say, 'I don't want to do that. It seems pointless. It seems stupid. What is the point of asking who am I? See, what will I get?' It seems like the silliest exercise. So for them, surrender may be a better path, or chanting or prayer may be a better path to remember God in whatever way could be a better way to remain in God's presence and not go with the Avidya which the mind is offering.

Because it is only Avidya. How can I reiterate this? Should I shout it out? So it is only Avidya which blocks us, you see, from living in God's presence. It is only false notions, only false constructs. It's never about another one. It is never about the state of the body. It is never about the feelings that we're feeling. And let's argue about it now if you want to, but let's not do this for years where we're still confused about what is causing the trouble. And I can bring the big guns in if you want. You see, Bhagavan said the Self will not be a new attainment; it will be just a letting go of Avidya, letting go of that which is false. The truth is already here and in the absence of Avidya, it is apparent to us.

So can we, after twelve years of my sharing satsang, today conclude that all of us that are here either don't leave satsang today without identifying that this is the main problem, or they fix me? Because there's something deeply misunderstood, some deep Avidya here, and I'm going on propagating that. So you better tell me that I'm wrong because I don't want to die stupid. So then let's make this deal that if you call me Father or Guru or Master or even friend, you can't let your friend go stupid like this. No? For twelve years you've been sharing this nonsense, so there must be something that needs to be fixed. So but don't go unless both of us are on the same page. Stupid, huh? You all know stupid. You all know that you're stupid. So yeah, I know very well I'm very stupid. So that's a good start because in that, you see, if it is truly felt that way, then pride cannot get a hold because we realize that all that is good is only from God. What is here to take credit for anything? And but there is ability to mess it up, you see, which is what makes me stupid.

Okay, but coming back to what we were saying. Can we identify that the only way to lose God's presence, or at least the quest to be in God's presence, is when we take ourselves to be something else? And when we take ourselves to be something else, it can only happen when we believe a thought, when we believe, when we identify with the thought. And then we talk about the antidotes, which could be inquiry, prayer, devotion, any sadhana which keeps you empty for God. So what am I basically saying? I'm saying that the boundless to meet the boundless in the human condition ironically seems to be through a narrow lane. To meet that which is boundless strangely is through me. The meeting happens by walking this very narrow lane. See, now we have to walk this lane empty of 'me.' Don't worry about the words. Be empty of the 'me' because as the sages have told us, when there is 'me' there is no God, and when there is God there cannot be a 'me.' Gali sakri. Lane is narrow. How to walk as if the 'me' is real, is valuable, is important? How to make the 'me' primary? Does it happen just organically like right now? Right now, where's the 'me'? Unimportant. So then you're empty for God. But soon something comes, see.

So when that comes, either we remain open and empty, just let it go, or we pray to God for help, hand it over to God, or we continue to bring our attention back to our prayer, chant, or we bring our attention to His presence, or we inquire into what is this which is being proposed or who is witnessing that. But to undertake this endeavor, to truly follow this project to be empty—including empty of spiritual ego, of spiritual pride, which is the most tricky—then for this we must recognize that a Godless life is not worth living at all. Is still hedging our bets? Is it that maybe I can make this life of the 'me' work? Is it life of the ego work? And maybe I can then make God a part of it, like most people are trying to do? They have physical life, emotional life, mental life, spiritual life. They say, 'I want to balance out all of this stuff.' You met anyone who's been able to do it? Not on Instagram, really. Instagram everybody looks very sorted. It's not possible because it's like flying in the air and walking on the ground at the same time. It's just not possible.

And the thing is that if you hand over your life to God, then really you lose nothing of value. And I can only tell you this from my experience, from my inside, but you have to risk it for yourself. That's why I said it's not easy, because the mind will tell you that you will lose something of value, whether that something of value is relationships or money or whatever it may be. But I can only tell you from what I have found here. But if you're unwilling to take the risk, then you will not find out because you will keep hedging your bets. You'll keep saying, 'Oh no, no, the me has to come up for this. I have to handle this. God can't do this.' Is it? The one who's running this entire play, and nobody knows how it is run, including the scientists have no idea. You ask any scientist what is energy—even the ones who talk about matter and energy being the same and all of that—ask them what is energy. They say, 'We can measure it, we can tell you what its effects are, but what it is we can't tell you.' So the 'what' of it, that you only find when you go within yourself. The 'what' of everything you only find when you go within yourself. What are you? What is God? What is love? What is reality? What is truth? What is music? What is justice? What is mercy? What is kindness?

You ask any scientist, 'What is energy?' Even the ones who talk about matter and energy being the same and all of that, ask them, 'What is energy?' They say, 'We can measure it, we can tell you what its effects are, but what it is, we can't tell you.' So the 'what' of it, that you only find when you go within yourself. The 'what' of everything you only find when you go within yourself. What are you? What is God? What is love? What is reality? What is truth? What is music? What is justice? What is mercy? What is kindness? All that is valuable you only recognize in the presence of the Atma, because in our mind, we don't understand any of this. So many people have tried to write so many books about any of these topics, you see, and if they're truly writing, they leave the conclusion unanswered because these things are not resolvable in the intellect. We have to admit that we are not capable by ourselves of solving this human condition. You need to be guided moment to moment by the Satguru presence within. And if you become like that—a helpless child asking the mother for help—then by his grace, by her grace, it will come. But if you have pride, if we still take ourselves to be something important or special, then that has to first dissolve. So humility is a very important part of spirituality.

And the good thing about any of this—whether you look at faith, humility, prayerfulness, gratitude—any of these things, you deepen in any of them, the rest follow along. You don't have to mentally juggle, 'Okay, now my pride, my humility exercises are done for the day, let me go to my gratitude.' You don't have to do that. Although if something comes from your heart and it feels good and you want to follow like that, it's fine. The heart will guide you. So what happens in that moment when the mind gives you the offer? If we are in satsang, at least we know what we are giving up for what, isn't it? Those of us in the world who have not come across this may not know that we are actually making a big, big, big bargain between God's presence and the specialness of a 'me' or the righteousness of a 'me.' And many times, just to be right about something, we will give up on God. That is why it is called ignorance.

I've been using this metaphor of Krishna actually sitting in front of you to make the comparison clearly. So, Krishna sitting in front of you, you know that if you go towards knowing or being right, his presence will not be apparent anymore, you see. So what has to come that you'll say, 'Okay, now I'm willing to say bye to Krishna'? And it doesn't have to be Krishna; it can be whatever you fathom as the highest form of the Lord: Ram, Krishna, Jesus, Allah. That one is with you now. For what will you give that up? Just to be right about something? The mind comes: 'But, but, but I have to do this particular work.' If God is with you, then what do you have to do? What do you have to manage for yourself?

Suppose it was true that that chair over there, which is empty, Krishna is sitting there. Now somebody comes, your best friend comes and says, 'Come, come, come, we have this particular flight to catch' or something like that. What will you do? Jesus is there on that chair and the friend comes and says, 'Come, we have that email to send, remember it's a million-dollar contract,' you see. Jesus is sitting right there. What are you going to do? That itself is an important contemplation, but for me, it's a no-brainer, and hopefully for all of you as well. It's a no-brainer at all, right? That one instant in the Lord's presence is worth whatever the world can give any of us. But if that contemplation is a bit of a doubtful one, then start with that. Start itself with that.

But suppose that we are all on the same page and it's a no-brainer: why will you leave God for whatever the world has to offer? Then either you're saying that God has to appear externally for me to value him in that way, and therefore you don't have enough faith in your own insight of God's presence within you, for which you're willing to make that exchange for being right or living on your own terms. So that is how faith has to deepen. Faith means to trust your heart inside more than anything that the mind can offer you. Faith is not belief. All belief can be shaken, you see. Some of us say we want a deeper conviction, yes, but conviction if it is faith, not belief. Mostly conviction means a deep belief.

So now, for what will you leave? Is there a God? Yes, there is a God. Where will his presence be found? Inside. Now, what is a bigger project than that? What is more important? Nothing. And what happens when you buy into identification from the mind? What happens to God? He just becomes a notion; he's not a living presence anymore. He's just an idea. It's never a worthwhile exchange. So remember that if God is not seeming real to you right now, then you are stuck in Maya. You're stuck in the illusion. There's nothing that says you cannot enjoy the play of this world while being in God's presence. But when God's presence is seeming unreal and God is just seeming like a concept, then know that you are stuck in egotism. And I don't want you to be stuck like that. My whole job, if there is one, is to shake you out of that. To shake you out of this hellish life which the mind tries to convince you is palatable, is manageable, you can still win.

I wanted to bring something. One of my friends, I just got to know that this morning, that he came back... something there. Very... this from deep inside the voice was coming, you know. There's a guy here who didn't know when the dream is going to end because we got to know the actual details. And when he knew something was happening, he just went into a coma and he didn't even know that the dream is ending. So one side is he didn't suffer, other side is he didn't say goodbye to a lot of people. So people are just coming and meeting and going and he's alive, but any moment it'll be removed. This dream is so palpable that it's a dream, right? But yet, I mean, also the God presence is also palpable, right? But the question you asked a few months back, right? Why is it that we are not seeing it? It's the mind always winning, you know. It's a battle. A lot of efforts are going and I'm just... I don't know, I'm in shock still. In fact, I had messaged him yesterday afternoon that why don't we catch up for lunch next week. And it's like there's one more friend of mine who had reached out to me long back before committing suicide, you know, and I was the last guy to connect with him. Suddenly this, I don't know, like weird feeling. I'm like, my God, I mean, it's like I know any moment it can stop. The dream can stop any moment. And if we have come so close, you know, first of all, knowing that all this is a dream itself is a big knowledge. And having a Guru in a human form is like the biggest God can give you, you know. And yet we keep not going far away from you... I know when, I mean, not physically you, I mean what God is showing us. That is so sad, so sad. And after all this, it's trying again, this bridge, you know. You are a living example of showing that this bridge can be crossed. Now don't wait, now you are there, you crossed the bridge and you are here. We come there and just go away, you know. Just me coming standing there and I'm like, you're calling me, 'Come, come, just come,' and I'm like, 'Okay.' You know, this false thing inside me, I don't know what to say. It's very deeply disturbing for me.

Yes, I can understand this. I can understand. You know, what happens is that the journey seems so far-fetched in a way, it seems so absurd in a way, that even one who is half a step seemingly ahead of us seems to be a good enough guide for us on the path. So by no means will I say that I've crossed the bridge or I'm across all of this. I just feel like, if anything at all, maybe just like an older brother who just had a little more experience. My job is to bring all of you to him. And in the most difficult of human circumstances, my imploration, my suggestion, is to meet it in the guidance of the Atma with him. See even this, and strangely you will start to see the grace even in this. Even in the most difficult circumstances, you will see something is unfolding, not just for you, his friends, his family, everyone involved. You will start to find a great deepening, a greater grace which brings your life to his feet, hopefully.

So even in this, stay with him. Stay with him. Let him show you, let him guide you, let him move you. Don't resist your grief. Living in God's presence does not mean that grief will not come, that feelings will not come. Allow everything to naturally flow. And most importantly, remember that the one that you are devoted to, you are praying to, is so beyond time and space and life and death. He's the most powerful one. So pray to him for your friend. Whatever you feel will be most auspicious for him, and pray for the highest for him, and whatever your heart desires that he must have. And he is always listening. So use this as an opportunity to pray deeply for him and bless him with all your mind.

Our commitment has to be that 100% we will not leave his feet. We will not leave God's feet, come what may. And if you commit 100%, then it may happen in actuality half the time. But if your idea itself is to balance and all of that, then it won't happen even a little bit, you see. Why is it like that? Because that is the compelling nature of Maya. Something will show up, somebody's in trouble, something is happening, something, something, something. So we have to learn to deepen, deepen, deepen. Even in the lives of great sages, there are events where momentarily they forget and they go with the mind, you see, but they return to their heart, return to God's presence. It's very important.

So what is the nature of this 'me'? Self-importance: 'I am something.' I feel like this part is clear to all of us. Self-importance, then self-will: 'I want, I want, I want,' as opposed to God's will. What does he want? How can I serve you now? What is your will? What would you have me do? Those are better questions than 'What do I want?' So hand over individual self-will to God's will. Many of us believe that there is no such thing actually, only my will moves me. It is not true. If you try it out, remain empty of individual will, then you will discover a higher force, a higher will that both moves you and guides you. So self-will, self-concern: 'But what about me? But what about me?' These are the main constituents of the mind which offers you these things. It offers you about these things. Self-importance, self-concern, self-will can be frustrated sometimes. You feel that or think that. It's very important to identify where the trouble is. Show me the feeling which is saying, 'I'm apart from you.'

What I mean, Father, is that life is the evidence of God. It's not... presence is the evidence.

What did you say? Life is not the evidence, presence is the evidence? So when you are in God's presence, I am in God's presence, both of us are just humble servants at his feet. What is the distance between us? And if you're not in God's presence and I am in God's presence, then it can seem like the difference between hell and heaven. That is the only possible distance, isn't it? So if you listen to the thief about how to catch the thief, then it'll cause more trouble. Whatever I have—and I told him also last time on his birthday—that whatever I have is for my children, is for you. That there is nothing that is hidden from all of you. There is nothing that is kept in secret, that 'This is special, I will give only to a special disciple' or I just keep it for myself. Everything that I have is openly shared with you.

Frustration comes from the fact that I can't make myself stronger in a day or in a second. It's only moment to moment, like you said, and a lot of those moments are lived as witness. Yeah, and that's a choice that I make, that I continue to make.

Yeah. So how about starting now? Start every moment. Start. That is the only satsang.

I tell you, there is nothing that is kept in secret, that this is special, I will give only like a special disciple or I just keep it for myself. Everything that I have is openly shared with you. So frustration comes from the fact that I can't make myself stronger in a day or in a second. It's only moment to moment, like you said, and a lot of those moments are lived witness. Yeah, and that's a choice that I make, that I continue to make. Yeah, so how about starting now? I start every moment. Start. That is the only solution. We cannot solve this for the past or the future.

So suppose, okay, my son is here, so maybe these examples are coming. Suppose when you eat, you always drop some stuff on your clothes. You say, 'It's so frustrating. Why do I always drop some stuff on my clothes?' So how do you stop? You have to stop with this meal, with this meal, with this meal. If you keep thinking about how frustrating it is and why it goes on forever, then that doesn't help anything. That is just the trickery of the mind itself, which gives you the trouble and then makes you troubled about giving you the trouble.

I know, yes, but it doesn't make it any less frustrating.

So instead of buying into the notion of being frustrated, why don't you just return to God's light now? Let's leave tomorrow to tomorrow, yesterday to yesterday. Right now, is He here? No tantrums are bigger than His presence. No tantrum is more important than His presence. No? Then what do you just find? What is the source of rest? And I hope it's not like a theoretical answer, no, that I'm going to say 'God only.' This, try it out. You see, we may be at the best spa in the world, but if you are mental, egotistical, selfish, proud, then we are not resting even in the best spa in the world. And you could be in the most strenuous job, you could be meeting after meeting, but if you're just in His presence, then you are rested still. Body may get tired, but your being doesn't feel tired. You're not—your state of ease is still there, although you say, 'Ah, the body is exhausted, fatigued.' You see?

So what kind of tired are you saying? Body tired? So what is the source of rest and rejuvenation? It is the spirit itself. It is the Atma within. So whether we need guidance, whether we need rejuvenation, rest, whether we need to be lived, you see, He is the source. You can't tie yourself with the mind and then go to the mind for a solution. You must find a way to retreat into the presence. What thought is most compelling right now?

The thought that you were stuck somewhere in the middle of the pure light of God and just being in complete ignorance. It's very, it's very tiring.

Yeah, so okay, let's make a change today. Let's say that this narrative is true. It's true you're stuck in between, trying to take it seriously. So you're stuck in between God's light and completely egotistical and completely ignorant. You're stuck in the middle. Now what should we do? So suppose we know that there's a noise over there. The starting point of this track was fifty meters away and now you're stuck in the middle. Fifty meters to this, fifty meters to the starting point. What can we do? Take one step towards Him. Take one step towards Him. That's all.

I guess I, yeah, I just need it. That's fine. You say it's not true, but I still think it's true. But it's the most frustrating life. Yours is the most frustrating life?

No, no, mine! Then who? Where's the award? Who has it? Last time, who was crowned the most frustrating? Okay, and we must find a way to be grateful because even if you look around in the Satsang and you were to actually ask their life stories, you will find that your life is the best. I promise you. Just ask and it will work for everyone. This is the beauty of it, that if you let go of self-importance, self-concern, and openly listen with a pure heart, with an open heart, you will realize how much our brothers and sisters are dealing with and we feel so blessed, we feel so grateful. But if you keep thinking about 'What about me?' then it seems like I have the worst.

I'm not saying that you said that. I'm just saying that that is the nature of the mind. Good to even empirically speaking in a worldly way, it is not true that our life is the worst. Even empirically speaking, if you're saying, 'Okay, let's leave the topic of God aside for a moment,' let's say, okay, if there was really an award for the worst life ever, none of us will get it. You see? How do I know? Because you are in Satsang. If you found a way somehow to be in the quest for God, then yours cannot be the worst life. So you must—can we be grateful that we are here together in Satsang? Is it so? If we are grateful about this, then how can our life be the worst? All those who find at least that longing for God in their heart, they have a blessed life. They've broken the spell of the zombie life. That itself is a great blessing. Let's go to Kay for a minute.

Thank you. Welcome. Um, there was something that I needed to expose when I joined this Satsang and also to seek your guidance. And you said something that attracted also my attention on the same subject. Can you hear me or do I need to speak loud? Um, and also it came to my attention today there was a short paragraph from Annamalai Swami which related to the same topic. And now what you said, you said that you can enjoy, I think you said enjoy the pleasure of the worldly life while being in the heart of, while being with God. And I saw a bit of, let's say, hope for pleasure, hope for presence. I think there was a hope that you can have both in a way.

You can't. You can't. I can't? I know. No, if all that you want is God, then the world can be enjoyed easy. Yeah, so what happens? You look at the people who seemingly have everything materialistic in their life, you see, but and they have the best things to enjoy, apparently those are the best things to enjoy. And when you look at their lives, when you look at even their faces, are they shining with God's light? Are they shining with His love? No.

You, that's very there. I know, and I've been there, you know, and in a way I'm still there, but not in the same way. Because I look, we are so blessed as a family together. We don't really—we have everything in abundance. We've always had. Like, yeah, we—I can't really ask for more. And it's not that we have only the material things in abundance, but we have so much grace in abundance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, but what about the God's presence part? That's the important one.

That's the grace that brings the presence. It's the grace that brings the presence. But what is it that we want? What is it that we want more than anything else?

Nothing. It's just I noted that my attention—anyone who wanted nothing, it's nothing more.

Are you the first? Are you the first? I'm not the—not the last. It's very good to say, and many times I may have also said this, but in this moment let's really investigate if this is true that we are empty for God. Truly we want nothing?

Yeah, I am very much with what you're saying right now. And then very grateful for this moment and whatever has to be exposed and left at His holy feet. I just open it up. Yeah, and also this attachment to my children and their desires.

Yeah, you can keep that. I can't even keep this one then. No trouble. Yeah, it's a—you can't keep anything. Yeah, make everything about Him. More than to be so. Very good, very good. Very good. Thank you. Thank you. Okay, let's go to—did Helen want to come? Um, she had a hand up earlier. Still yes or no?

Yes. Hello, Father. Yeah, I put my hand down because um, what what you were saying and words of wisdom really helped. I was finding it difficult to observe anger, anger and fear. Just to observe it as heat and not to let the mind take anything. And it was coming as a little bit of anger towards you too.

And what did I do? Absolutely nothing. Just by—it's very natural, you know this. It's very natural for this anger to come because the mind doesn't like me for obvious reasons.

So no, it's just the—when the eyes are open and they're focused, I could see that the mind was looking just for anything, you know, anything to bring that energy to, you know. So just by looking at you, Father. But um, I I do want to say that a lot of gratitude has come up because um, with the process there was um, a deepening. And in the deepening, um, you drew so much within and it then became um, not just a love, well, a love for everyone. It would—including Helen, you know. If I felt I wasn't even Helen, I was Helen and everyone else. But that's now past, that's an experience. And now um, a tremendous anger and fear comes up a lot, but I'm doing my best to observe it and I pray to God. So I don't know what to do anymore. Um, I don't know. I've had so many techniques, so many. But now it's just really just I just say, 'Um, God help me. I don't know what to do anymore.' And it's helping. And I just wanted to tell you that, Father. Much gratitude.

This is really good because um, I've been saying often these days that um, our intention is more important than the method. So we may have the best technique from the highest master and it's this and that and use this and do like that, all of that. But if our intention is still self-concern, self-feel, self-importance, then the highest method cannot help us. But if our technique is nothing, it's just the simplest, simplest thing from just somebody you met on the road, but your intention is really to surrender to God, then even the silliest method will work. You see? Not that your method is the silliest. It's very beautiful. It's really beautiful. And sometimes just a narrow prayer like that, 'God help me,' is potent enough. More than enough. It destroys the spiritual ego that has spent thirty years building up.

And um, it's also a big relief because my my heart does beat fast when I put my hand up because I'm supposed to be, you know, one of the ones that almost got to God, you know, that almost become in parenthesis enlightened, you know. And um, and this simplicity is um, I know, just just immense gratitude.

It's sweet. And you never have to put that kind of pressure on yourself that you've been in Satsang this long, you went to great masters and all of that. Don't worry about any of that. Just fresh every moment like an innocent child in front of God.

Praise God. Your words, Father, but come me all the time. I never look at any of you from that lens, you know.

I don't look at any of you from that lens. I'm just meeting a brother or sister in front of God. Both of us um, like little children. It doesn't matter. All the—all the rest doesn't really matter so much. Bless you. Bless you. Thank you. Let's go to Adria.

Namaste, Father.

Namaste, my dear.

If I may bring something in Satsang today, something that is kind of painful and when um, it happens, it's something that can happen in life many times when losing something that I love or someone that I love. Like if I can give an example, some time ago um, at the pressure and insistence of a neighbor, um, I cut, I cut apple trees that were very old and from my great-grandmother and I love them very much. But somehow I gave in—sorry, somehow I gave in to the insistence of the neighbor and I cut them. And I feel so so much sadness that I—I really loved those trees and um, it—I don't feel it was necessary to do this. It could have, you know. And maybe this is also just an example of what can happen in life of losing something that I value. And um, somehow I feel that God created these apple trees and you know, and it is—He's not—He can forgive me if I pray to Him, but it's it's kind of difficult to—I don't know how to deal with these things when they happen. Thank you.

Thank you for that question. Um, yes, it can happen sometimes that like you said, in the pressure of the world then um, we ended up following and now it doesn't seem so good in our heart, the action that happened. But really the best we can do is just offer it up to Him because really nothing is hidden from Him. Every heartbeat of yours, every breath of yours, we will not remember, but He knows. So our intentions, our action—

Thank you. Thank you for that question. Yes, it can happen sometimes that, like you said, in the pressure of the world, then we ended up following and now it doesn't seem so good in our heart, the action that happened. But really, the best we can do is just offer it up to Him because really nothing is hidden from Him. Every heartbeat of yours, every breath of yours—we will not remember, but He knows. So our intentions, our actions, what events led to what—He is the best one who is aware of all of this. So your regret, your remorse at those actions are also apparent to Him. And that's all that we need to do. We need to offer up ourselves truly with integrity, and when we feel like something wrong has happened, then we must just truly with our heart ask for His forgiveness. And that's the extent of what we must do about this.

So once you ask truly, then don't take on any further guilt onto yourselves or unworthiness onto yourselves, because He's fully aware of everything that happened that led you to this circumstance. And I see that you're truly feeling bad from your heart. So if I can see it, a foolish one like me, I'm sure He notices so much more. So you can leave it behind you now, you see, and ask God, 'So how can I serve You now?' Yes, wait for the guidance to come from your heart and just keep following that. All our lives are going to be like this. Is it that we are rushed into things, we get pushed into things? And what is it that we do? We cannot dwell on it more than needed because then the mind is winning more and more. First it makes us guilty, then makes us guilty for being guilty, you see? The loop continues; it's recursive that way, you see. So don't fall for the one-two punch combination that I often speak about. So you spot it, you feel truly from your heart, you feel the pain, you feel the compassion, the kindness towards the trees, and you're offering them up to God's light with integrity. And that's all that is needed now. Now commit yourself to being completely in His service, completely living in His will.

Yes. My biggest fear maybe is that I did something unrepairable, you know? Like it's—

I promise you that there is nothing unrepairable. Nothing unrepairable for God. Past, present, future—there's nothing cast in stone. Yes, all is His. All is in His grace. There's nothing irreparable.

Yes. I heard you say this sometimes and it really touches me when you say that, you know, God can also fix your past. And it is nothing for Him.

Yeah, actually God is beyond human imagination. But in our imagination, we can fathom easily, like, five-dimensional beings for whom time is another just dimension, so they can move objects from past to future and future to past as if it's nothing. So it's easy for us to even fathom a five-dimensional being. So God is so much beyond that which we can fathom, you see? So all of this, even a five-dimensional being is nothing for God. But the limits of our intellect, our imagination, are limited to just these small things. But He is so beyond all of this. So you can rest assured that because your feeling is with integrity, your hurt about the hurt caused is with integrity, you can be rest assured that He's well aware of these things.

Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. I love you.

Love you too. Thank you. Let's go to Adi.

Hello. I wanted to raise my hand and something was very uncomfortable. It was like, 'No, no, no, no, don't raise it.' I said, 'Okay, let me just make it a little more uncomfortable.' Right now, there's just this every day, it's just constant coming back to this presence that is in the heart, allowing the attention to come back to the presence which is here. And of course, there are moments during the day when it seems to be not possible. And during those times, the Nama or Namas is happening as much as whenever the recall happens and whenever I'm able to remember. And of course, definitely a lot of moments in the day when I'm working and when supposedly this idea that I have to use the mind for whatever analysis—Excel reports, PPTs—and yeah, so in that moment it just seems so compelling.

And of course, once or twice when I'm reminded, I'm also praying to God saying, 'Even in the midst, I know I'm going to forget, that is for sure, it will happen. But even in the midst of that, if You can help me with allowing the presence to be felt even in the midst of the activity.' I don't want to stop the activity because it's obviously not possible, but even in the midst of the most busiest of mental activity, for presence to be felt and for presence to infuse even every thought, word, and deed that is happening. Right? And that is something that is coming in. And despite all of that, I still feel like I might die a fool. I don't know why this is. I just feel that no matter how many times you've taken the name of God, it just feels like I'm no better than what I was a while ago. And I'm not expecting it to be different, really—I mean, this is not a prayer for it to be different—but if I'm meant to die a fool, then may it be also according to God's will that I die a fool and whatever it is, right? Because I honestly do not know if this is better or that is better.

Very, very... I'm loving this report. It's very beautiful. And just to pray to God that His presence be felt even in the midst of Excel spreadsheets and all of this work is beautiful. The only thing I would add to that is to also surrender. Because something I noticed where you said that 'but that action has to happen, so I can't stop that from happening,' but in spite of that, which is a sort of an immovable thing, then we pray for His presence. But even what action should happen can happen from His will. And of course, there's a fear that if I leave even that to His will, then I'll have to quit my job because why will God ever want to work on the Excel spreadsheet, you know? But it's not true like that. No, it's not true like that because I also spent a lot of time today on an Excel spreadsheet by chance. So His grace can move everything, His will can drive everything. But we must make sure that we are not just saying that mentally, you see? We must allow it to unfold truly from the heart, that are we willing to stop if He guides us to stop? Are we willing to keep moving if He guides us to move? That should be our endeavor. And as that is unfolding, of course His presence is the anchor for our life now anyway.

So this is just something that I spotted, so I felt to share. Secondly, yes, I agree with the second part of your report fully, that every day I realize how much pride there still is here, how much foolishness there still is here, you see? So as the deepening in His love is happening, also the spotting of the foolish ways of Ananta happens more and more, you see? So I don't know if there'll be an end to that or if it will be constantly more and more. Some of you kids got concerned when I changed my WhatsApp profile picture to the Fool from Tarot. 'Is everything okay? What's happening with you?' I feel like the more foolish I find myself to be, the happier I seem to be.

I also want to share that there are a few moments where there is pride and arrogance—pride and arrogance in gross and in subtle ways, right? There is subtle forms of pride that come in, which is a very thin, lingering, 'Oh yeah, yeah, I know this.' It's very, very subtle. It's so subtle that it seems like very unnoticed if you just go with it. And there are, of course, gross forms of pride where at work, where you know, there's this thought that comes, 'Oh, why is this person doing this? Why are they not doing like this? You know, they should be doing according to this particular way.' Very strong thoughts. And it happens, it passes, and then I realize, you know, is there an end to this thinking and this pride and this feeling of 'I know better' or 'I know better than this person'? When in fact, if I honestly look at it, I actually don't know if what I'm thinking is correct or not, and if what the other person is saying also could be correct. Yes, but in that moment it seems so convincing. Yes. And it's not a complaint. I understand that this is just what it is and it's just the nature of the unconscious which is there.

But I would also want... the reason why I brought this up is I generally don't share these things with you and I very rarely do this. I don't want to keep this with myself and with the thought that, 'Oh, there is no need to share this,' because there is a bit of that. And I don't know if that is also a bit of a sticky something which is just, 'No, there's no need to share, let's not waste his time now, let somebody else take... somebody else's problem is far more important.' And of course, it does feel that way because when I listen to all the problems that everybody is sharing, I feel, 'Wow, it's like what have I done to deserve this sort of a life that is far more blessed in so many ways?' Right? There was a time when I have obviously felt I had the worst kind of life and that God consigned me to this planet which is God-forbidden, which is really a God-forsaken planet. Oh, and I was always... I mean, there was a time when I was very young, I even would be so angry and would be very abusive of God as well, and you know, just all choices of abuses would come and all of that. I don't think I've shared this with you before. But again, now the same thing, I feel like even all of those things were necessary for the heart to even soften a little bit and to completely let go of this idea that I know what is right or this is the right way to go or this is how things should be. All of that was necessary. All of that suffering and all of that pain and all of the complaining, all of the cribbing.

Yeah, I feel like this is very important for us to spot, that this arrogance and pride to the extent of even blaming God, saying, 'What are you doing? What have you done to my life? What are you doing to this world? How could you create suffering? How could you make all these things happen?' You see, ourselves, we have no clue about even how to move a finger. We don't know, you see? But the one that is light of trillions of universes like this, that one we feel like we are capable enough, we are knowledgeable enough to question. So it's very important to spot this, that really, what do we know? Who are we to make a judgment about That who has created this marvelous creation, this marvelous movie-dream creation, whatever you call it? We don't have the capacity to judge, to understand. And our pride and our immaturity—and all of us have gone through this. I became an atheist as a young one for similar reasons, where I was just like, 'How can there be a God when all of this is happening?' God just became a taboo topic that I didn't want to talk about at all. So it's all immaturity and pride that leads us to these kind of things.

But as we start the true exploration about who we are, what is happening, what is meaning, what makes life worthwhile, now I'm starting to realize that actually it is God who should ask this question: 'Why is there so much suffering in the world?' He should ask us, 'Why is there so much suffering in your life when My presence is here? Why are you picking your mind and suffering?' So actually, it is the question that He should ask, because collective human suffering is made up of all of us. Why are we suffering? Even in the heights of my atheism, signs were everywhere. So much was pointing me to Him, but in my...

Now I'm starting to realize that actually it is God who should ask this question: 'Why is there so much suffering in the world?' You should ask us, 'Why is there so much suffering in your life when My presence is here? Why are you picking your mind and suffering?' So actually, it is the question that He should ask, because collective human suffering is made up of all of us. Why are we suffering? Even in the heights of my atheism, His signs were everywhere. So much was pointing me to Him, but in my pride and arrogance, I didn't turn to Him. So I suffered till I suffered so much that I had to turn to God. So who should be asking who, 'Why is there suffering?'

That is good. I'm very happy to hear this report, very happy. And as we keep digging for pride, as we keep digging for righteousness—what we think we know, conceptual knowledge—as we start hunting for these things, we don't realize how many things keep getting exposed to us every day which we just took to be matter of course and we just took to be natural in the human condition. But as you deepen more and more, you see that all these vasanas, all these tendencies, can still be so deeply ingrained that the mind can use those to pull you back out. So, very happy that everything that you said touches my heart. Thank you.

And please bless me so that I can see you physically over there.

Good, very good. Full blessings, full blessings. Okay, let's go to... Ram Ram Ji, Ram Ram. There we go. I think for Him, His knowledge and His presence are not distinct. So whether we say Atma Gyan or Atma Darshan, it is not two different things. When you're in the knowledge of the Atma within, that is the Darshan also of the Atma within. When you're in the Darshan of the Atma within, then you're in the knowledge of the Atma as well. There's no distinction between His love, His glory, His presence, and Self-knowledge, because worldly principles, worldly rules, don't apply here. They don't apply in your heart.

That is why it's a complete override of our previous way of living. It's a complete reboot. It's a reformatting of the old operating system. It's like we are in some primitive DOS, you know, this Disk Operating System we used to use in the... no, no, it's like... no, I have no idea. I should be careful what I say. This used to be when we used to have those larger floppy drives, yeah? Then you would run that Disk Operating System from the... it used to be called the boot disk. So you would put that in and boot from there. So then, when the hard drive came, we were all excited you can put 20 megabytes of data on that thing. This one, you just have some 512 KB or something.

So like this, we are living in a very shadowy, primitive sort of kindergarten version of what our life is. And reality is much more beautiful; it's much more full of love and light than our mind can ever imagine. So what can happen many times is that we come to satsang and we hear, 'Give up on your mind, give up on this temptation, give up on that,' you see? So it just feels like you have to just give up, give up, give up. It can seem very oppressive. But this giving up actually is an opening up. That's why it's called an enlightenment, because you meet a true light of God's presence within you, and then your life itself takes a different texture, different flavor.

Initially, the difficulties will come because Maya is tempting. It's compelling. It tries to get you to win, as if someone gives you a gamified environment where you feel like, 'Okay, make enough money, get the best relationship, do all of this,' you see? And you can elevate yourself to a godly status. That's why even in the video games, at the end, if you come to the top level, it's 'God mode.' You can achieve godhood through worldly means—that is the promise of Maya. It is the promise of the Maya. But you see, we must learn from everyone's experience. They've told us that they tried it that way; it just doesn't work. All they come to at the end is the mortality of this body, in spite of trying everything, you see? So, try the way of the sages who have told us to find God within ourselves in faith and humility, rather than trying to become the god of this world in some way or other.

Father, in that space, you don't feel like you want anything else. You just want Him over anything else. And that sometimes creates a fear, Father, that a lot of people maybe previously have told me, 'Be normal. You're not normal. This isn't normal at all.' And that thing still somewhere lingers in me, Father. Every time that love comes more rushing to me, it somewhere kind of makes me get that thought again: 'Am I going to be like... don't overdo it, don't overdo it, be normal, balance it.'

I think all of us have heard this. Is there anyone who hasn't heard this? Come to satsang and they say that you must balance it out, don't overdo it. So this fear is completely unfair. It's completely made up. There is no reason to become a sadhu outwardly. Nobody here is advising you to renounce the world, renounce your jobs, renounce your relationships. I'm not saying any of that. But inwardly, your allegiance must be first and foremost with God. And then God, as He moves your feet, as He moves your body, as He moves your world, then that has to be called Grace. It has to be called auspicious.

In fact, the only determinant of whether something is good is whether it comes from God or not. So even this self-concern, we must leave that. What will the world think? Is it 'What will the world think?' or 'What will happen to me?' which is greater? Which is the greater fear?

The fear that maybe my own people will disown me and just the fear that I'll be cut off.

Those who truly love us have no option but to accept us. In fact, like we feel harmless in front of them, they also feel harmless in front of us. Especially people like our parents and things like that, they have really very little power over us, in the sense that we of course give them a lot of power, which is good—to respect them and listen to them is good. But they may be fearful of losing you as a projection that they have, that they want you to be a certain way, then they're scared that that will go away. And like I was saying last time, most of the ones who love us have good reason to be scared, you see? Unfortunately, good reason to be scared because of the examples in front of them. In this country, we are talking about how much exploitation has happened in the name of God; it is beyond comparison.

So we must remember that they mean well, so they have our best interest at heart. But we have to keep our communication open as much as possible, to share with them as much as possible, as much as they are open to hearing—and not force it down their throat, of course—but try to engage with them so that they are convinced that you're not just sleepwalking or not just being hypnotized by spirituality or something like that. In fact, you are more awake than you've been. What are the chances that they will agree with you? Still very slim. But we still have to make them at least feel that there is safety, because mostly they'll be concerned about our well-being.

There's also a fear of being abnormal in front of people, society.

Well, normal you will never be. Because what is the world's normal? Take yourself to be this, live this life for the ego, take the boulder up the hill and in the night it comes down the hill; the next day you take it back up the hill. So if that is normalcy, then I don't feel like anybody should be normal. But normalcy is really exploring the truth, exploring the reality of God. To even find out there's such a... either it's a really popular notion or it's a reality, isn't it? So somebody who embarks on that exploration, embarks on that adventure to find the truth of Him, should be encouraged.

But if they feel that you're abnormal, then I feel like we have to get used to that. We are abnormal by worldly normal standards. We are abnormal. What is normal about this? We are saying that within ourselves is the highest force in the universe, God's presence, and we can find it and we can live in it. But even beyond that, I am aware even of that as pure awareness, Nirguna reality. And we are seeing that as true inside, as clear or more clear than this floor and roof. So how will we make this normal in the world's construct? I mean, maybe one day thousands of years later this may become normal in this world, but it doesn't seem likely in our lifetime.

So don't go for normalcy; it's not going to happen, you see? For normalcy, if you have to leave the truth, then it's not worthwhile. And I also tell you one thing: that when that Supreme Intelligence needs us to be normal, then normalcy also plays out. Like my kids have told me, 'Be regular, Dad. Be regular, Papa. We don't want Guruji.' You see? 'We don't want a Guru in our...' not so bluntly, but pretty much so. So then God plays all the roles. That intelligence plays all the roles as needed. We don't have to forcibly be spiritual in front of everyone, but Grace will guide us moment to moment how to be, what to say. We can trust that.

And God has amazing ways, amazing ways. You see, my daughter now every day she says, 'I love God so much,' every day. Because she was going through some rough times, as teenage times are, and I asked her to do the prayer and I gave her a mala, and she's been doing that. And she really said that it's really changed her life since then. So Grace finds a way. Keep following your heart, keep following your heart. Don't get scared by your mind; you'll be fine. Okay, I have to leave soon, but we'll take the two questions we have. Paula can come.

Father, hello. I just want to come. It feels like I haven't heard from you in a bit. Is this true?

Like that, yeah. It's been a long time, that's why. Exactly, that I felt just to come. Okay, yes. Do you want to make a report about how it is to... how are you finding it living in God's presence, or what's happening?

If you want me to, I can. It wasn't the idea, but... so I can say that since you had this shift in the way you are sharing, it's been very challenging for me to just follow every movement that is happening in satsang and with your... but I acknowledge that, and also I even can value it, this big resistance. But anyway, it's like forcing me a lot to come to, like, to do my best. I feel I'm very really like a very clumsy student in following, like a clumsy, clumsy student. But lately, especially doing the Guruji's exercise and coming... it's taking me to follow you more, you know, like to come to prayer more, I think. And I can say that many times during the day, this presence is... presence is... presence is present.

Yes, yes, good. And I feel those short moments are editing and are rest. Yes, it's for very short moments presence is very evident.

Why don't we reverse it? Yes, that's the thing, you know. Let's reverse it, where the short moments are when we have an adventure in our mind, and the rest of the time we are in God's presence. So what stops us?

Stupidity, Father. Stupidity.

True. For all of us, it's true. It's very important to recognize that. What is stupid is the extent of the exchange that we make—that we exchange a moment of being right for God's presence. So good, I'm happy to hear that you're able to spot that it is never a worthwhile exchange. So you're managing to remain open and empty, or prayerful, or inquiring? Are you doing any of that? Like Guruji's exercise, if you're following, then you're just open and empty, isn't it?

Yes.

So we must reverse this where presence is present for those fleeting moments. It's beautiful also; for just a moment it is so astounding. But we can live like that, you know, be in His light for much more. We have to let go of the 'me.' We have to let go of what we talked about today: self-concern, self-importance, and self-will. Are you waiting to be moved?

Open and empty or prayerful or inquiring—are you doing any of that? Like the Guru exercise, if you're following, then you're just open and empty, isn't it? Yes. So, we must reverse this where presence is present for those fleeting moments. It's beautiful also, for just a moment is so astounding, but we can live like that, you know? Be in His light for much more. We have to let go of the 'me.' We have to let go of—we talked about today—self-concern, self-importance, and self-will. Are you waiting to be moved by His will, or are you going on your own terms?

I've been reflecting on this and trying to experiment with it, yeah. And I found that it's difficult to—I'm questioning if I really know what it is to be moved by that. You know, there's so much habitual thing of following the mind that I'm not sure really what it is. And sometimes I feel that many times during the day we are actually moved by God because many actions are very—it feels natural. Like the regular things, like moving the body to do the very simple things, I feel they are guided; they're moved by God, you know? But sometimes with the things that are somehow troubling me, regarding the things that concern me, I don't know. I don't know if I know how to be moved, you know?

I don't know. Is this because you're not able to let go of your self-will, your individual will, in those moments? Or...

Yeah, maybe because I'm too identified with the things that I'm—I forget that I can be guided, I can be moved by God. It's just, I mean, yeah.

Do you want to hand over everything completely to God, no matter what outcomes happen in your life? If you lose this illusory sense of control over where things are going and what is happening in your life?

Father, I don't know. I mean, of course my immediate answer is yes, because I don't see how it can be any other way, you know? Yes. But I don't know what is happening.

Okay, I'm going to be honest with you because you're my daughter and I have to say, I feel like somewhere like an intellectual understanding is getting mixed with your heart, where there are positions which seem to be coming from a mix of this intellect understanding things and how things are, and also your heart insights. And your heart is even now moving your mouth. So, I would encourage every time you come to such, put your hand up because I want to have this conversation with you and allow you to safely let go of what your understanding is. Because that understanding, spiritual understanding especially, can lead to a lot of trouble in the future, although it seems helpful presently. But actually, so just try to stay with God as much as you can and try to stay like you're doing, stay empty as much as you can. And every time that you come in satsang, if you can put up your hand, I want to hear from you and see what's happening.

Of course, thank you. I will, very, very. Love you so much. I'm so grateful. Thank you. Thank you for your openness to listen to my advice.

Let's... thank you. Thank you for... my hand was going up and down today in satsang all the time. I don't know, I just want to come in. And I was so touched again by Paula, what you were sharing. I don't know also, just when you said when you could come every satsang, I also would like to ask if you could keep a close eye on me somehow. Because a couple of days now have been like—I know you say and I try to be in the satsang, not stay in the satsang and not—but a couple of days now have been quite rough. Like I experienced the mind strong as like four years, I don't know, four years back. Like that. I just, I don't know, like...

Yes, yes, yes. So you also come as often as you want, and my full, full blessings, my full love. Sometimes it does happen that the mind finds opportunities to attack us, and it itself offers the proposition that this is how you were so many years back and things. But from what I've seen of you and your maturity growing so much, I don't feel like it is possible at all that in two days you could revert back to four years ago. So you don't have to worry about that, but it's good to be vigilant like this and to notice the mind. So I'm happy to keep a watch and we can have a chat every time.

Thank you. Yeah, somehow, I don't know if this is true again, it felt so much withina again the same today. Like, the belief automatically goes... always now the mind, which I know it's not possible.

Yeah, and good. If you think that belief is going automatically, then know that Maya has returned to the heart. Because the mind will convince you that you can't help it. Actually, you can't help it; there's no point going to satsang; there will always be a difference between Father and me; I will never get to his point. All this like disheartening sort of thing. Whereas I'm telling you that all of you will be much brighter lights than this fool will ever be. So don't ever feel that. Don't get disheartened by any of this stuff. So good you spotted that. Don't buy into the decree. Just check for yourself. Just with attention, can you identify? Can you become egoic? You can't become. And belief is completely, completely in your power as Consciousness. And the tip I will give you is also that don't be concerned so much about yourselves. Ask: 'How am I serving God now?'

How am I... is it... but isn't this also coming from the mind? Like, I don't know if I have this completely wrong, but like, when we say how... isn't this also coming from the mind?

Yes, yes, good question. So let's look at this. So when we ask, 'How am I serving God now?' or 'God, how can I serve You now?' then are we going with what the mind will tell us about how to serve Him, or He has to tell us how to serve Him? What do you feel is the better way to do it?

Can you, can you repeat please?

So when we ask a question—suppose we change the question to: 'God, how can I serve You now?' If we're going to go with our mind's report about what will be in service to God, then we recognize the mind—the last thing it wants us to do is to serve God, isn't it? So we can't go with that input from the hell. So then where can we go for a true answer to that question? To God Himself. To God's presence. Only God's presence can tell us how to serve God.

I somehow cannot follow you. I don't know. Maybe it's just a thought, but who can... who can recap? Can you recap? Are you listening? Can you start?

I'll recap. Sorry. His question was that if you were to ask a question like, 'How am I serving God?' isn't that also a mental exercise then? Isn't that also the mind? But it's really not. When we ask, 'How can I serve You, God?' then how can we go to the mind for the answer? Is it? And if the answer comes from the mind, then do you feel like it'll authentically tell us how to serve God? No. It's the last thing—it doesn't want us to become a bhakta. That's the last thing it wants. So we cannot go to the mind for that answer. So we have to wait till it becomes clear. So remember the first tip: don't rush. You see, the mind rushes you. You say, 'Yeah, this is what God would want, this is...' You see, it puts us in a rush. So first, don't rush. Ninety-nine percent of it is resolved if you don't rush. Just don't rush. So if it takes a minute, if it takes ten minutes, if it takes ten days, if it takes ten years, just wait. Don't jump to conclusions. Whatever has to unfold in life will unfold. Don't worry about that. All of this play is under His servitude. It's all serving Him. You don't have to ever worry that if you're going to God, what will happen to my life and all of these things. You don't have to buy those thoughts. So ask God: 'How may I be of service to You? What would You have me do?' Then I promise you that if you're patient and courageous, then He will move you, or He will guide you, or both. But you need patience because it's not dialogue. 'God, service...' It's not just like, 'What would You have me do?' and He's not answering. But how long? I used to joke often, and sometimes still do, saying that we have more patience with pizza delivery than we do with God. So we're expecting God to be in servitude to us, whereas truly we have to be in servitude to Him. And imagine if God were just instantly available in servitude to us, how proud we would become. What would happen? It just feels that you're so great. So it's important for our humility that we have patience, you see? And it's important for our faith to deepen that we have patience. How long can you be faithful to God? If our faith runs out in a minute saying He doesn't answer, then what kind of faith is that? So ask a question like that. I feel like all of us at least cannot doubt that He hears everything, He knows everything. So the question is never lost, the prayer is never lost. But we have to have faith in His justice, in His timing. So it's not a mental exercise. Your initial question may be a pointer from the mind which you stored in the memory somewhere, but all these questions are purely intuitive: 'Who am I?', 'What is love?', 'What is my purpose?', 'What should I do now?' The true meaning of everything that is beautiful only is intuitive. But intuition—to live intuitively—needs patience and also that courage, because the mind will scare us. 'If you don't decide, then this will happen. If you don't decide, you lose this relationship, you lose this money, you lose this body.' All these fear tactics will come. But be courageous for God. Nothing will happen. So the points in satsang are meant to be questions that only your intuition can answer for you, only God's presence can answer for you. That is the true meaning of contemplation.

Thank you, Father. Thank you. Thank you so much. And He does, like, He does move. Like, I do it with everything, like just let it unfold somehow, or like, yeah, with everything. Yeah, maybe the mind sometimes it creeps in like, I don't know, like...

Yeah, that is his nature. That is his design by God Himself, see? So he's doing his job well.

Yeah. So not to follow any thought, and any thought... it's funny.

Yeah. So sometimes when it feels like our heart is inaccessible, you see, our minds seem to be hiding it. You see, that's why the outer form of the Master is also very helpful. Because if our inner heart seems inaccessible, you can access your heart through his pointing, through her pointing, whichever form the Master may be taking.

Thank you. Okay, last one. Let's go to J. Hello, can you hear me?

Yes, my dear, I can hear you.

Yeah, thank you for allowing me to speak to you. Last days, I just wanted to share a little bit. Like, I'm going through some small challenges, you could say. I don't know. It means I was a little hesitant to speak about it, but like, I don't know sometimes whether I should open up to people, to speak about what I truly feel. Because I would sometimes be a little bit pushed into doing something that I don't want to do about finding a job or something. And especially now, I got a friend who lives next door and he's a very temperamental...

Temperament, yes, yes.

Having a very like life-risky job, I see, something like about, you know, and stuff like that. Maybe... I see, I see. And no, he... yes, yes. So no, I don't know because I have a way to do it. Maybe I can go take long walks and just... avoidance is one of my dealing methods in the past, yeah. To avoid and minimize a little bit the contact.

Minimize the contact, yes. Yes, but of course, in the light of what you shared today, it's nothing.

Yes, also, yes, it can seem like that. So...

Let me see if I heard the question correctly. So you're saying that you have a new friend who's got a temper and also he has some sort of risky job which involves some sort of shooting of some sort? So trying to avoid—you're trying to avoid meeting him, or he's trying to get you to do something? There's a lot of like anger in the air.

Like anger, angry. I see, I see, I see. And very, very, very much like, you know, and it sometimes it's not easy to... I didn't sleep all night almost, like today. I can...

Let me see if I heard the question correctly. So you're saying that you have a new friend who's got a temper and also he has some sort of risky job which involves some sort of shooting of some sort. So you're trying to avoid meeting him, or he's trying to get you to do something? There's a lot of like anger in the air.

Angry, I see, I see, I see. And very, very, very much like, you know, and it sometimes it's not easy to... I didn't sleep all night almost like today.

I can understand. I can understand. Yes, seems like a tough thing to... yes, yes, of course. So that is why it is so important moment to moment to follow the guidance from the heart, be moved by His presence alone. Because in the mind we can't solve this problem. These problems, like life puts us in these situations where the answers are not easy to find, and we must allow our intuitive insight to guide us about these things. Because we cannot predetermine that the avoidance is perfect for every moment or the meeting with him is perfect for every moment. It may change moment to moment what is needed to be done, and that guidance can only come from that most intimate guide in your heart, which is the Atma within. That is why it's even more important to be in His light, to be in His presence and be guided from that.

Like sometimes I would get challenged a little bit and be called that my way of life is foolish and quite assertively spoken, like very firmly spoken at me, like this all stuff I'm doing is total nonsense and you know. And then it's maybe a little bit good, it crushes my this, but it's a shock a little bit. I don't know, I don't know what to do. That's why maybe I would like... I love to humble myself and ask a little bit for your guidance or help on this. There's also like one room is becoming empty in the other part of the house. Maybe I can move into that other room. Maybe I should, I don't know, which will be a little further from this one house. I mean, because like we have 13 rooms in the apartment, so it's a good field to explore that other room actually. Maybe ask, maybe there is a chance. I spoke today with the landlady and maybe one guy, he's actually moving out. Maybe I could move in. I would not be so much... yeah, like being even, you know, I don't want to complain and be self-pitying, but of course maybe I am.

No, I understand. I understand completely. So, but very, very unconscious sometimes, you know. Yeah, don't worry. My feeling at the moment is to explore the other option if it's possible, and then let's see what happens after that.

Thank you. And by chance, I apologize for my remaining pride and arrogance. I want to apologize.

All of us, all of us have to apologize. I have to apologize as well for my remaining pride and arrogance. Thank you. Thank you for that reminder. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much. Thank you all so much for being in satsang today. Satguru Mooji Baba ki Jai. My daughter told me one hour ago that we are going for dinner in twenty minutes. I may not be allowed in the house now. Let's see.