The Guidance Received Independent of Mental Interpretation Is Your Intuition – 18th June 2021

So what I wanted to point out to everyone is that Guruji says something very beautiful. He says that nothing that appears has inherent meaning, and the meaning only comes from the perspective that we bring to it, you see? And there's so much to unpack in that simple statement. And actually, it can become the core of our spirituality and it can bring so much simplicity into our experience of day-to-day life. Maybe I can share a bit about how I would look at this, what my perspective into something even including that is inherently meaningless. So let's see what we can do with that, you see.

So what is fundamentally being pointed to is that consciousness has a capacity to look at everything from a perspective of it being grace, it being auspicious, and consciousness has the capacity to look at it the other way and say, 'This is not grace. This is not right. This is not auspicious,' you see. The thing in itself is neither of those, you see. So like I say, neither meaningful nor meaningless. The thing in itself is just the thing in itself. So whether we call it appearance or reality, even that fundamentally comes from the perspective that consciousness brings to it in that particular moment, you see.

So it doesn't matter whatever you may be going through, whatever the event in our life may be, consciousness can never lose the ability to remain neutral with that, or to label it as auspicious, or to label it as inauspicious, you see. You can look at everything, everything that appears, and consciousness always retains the power because nothing ultimately really affects consciousness in any way. Therefore, from that perspective, as consciousness itself, it can always remain neutral to it, open and empty to it, or it can say, 'This is all Guru Kripa. It's all Master's grace,' or it can say, 'No, no, this is not right,' you see.

And usually we call that sort of resistive perspective that consciousness is free to take on, we call that resistance or individuality, you see. And we call the neutral perspective openness and emptiness. The so-called positive perspective can also be individuality at times, you see, if it is taken personally, but usually seems to be the cause of lesser suffering than the deeply resistive negative perspective, you see. But with everything in life, conceptually, you see, we know nothing about whether it's good for us or bad for us.

So for example, I could say that it is pure grace that in spite of the little bit of resistance you were having, you went to the doctor because although they were not expecting to find something, they did find something. So I would say, I could look at that and say that's very auspicious because if you had gone much later and you found out when it was much worse, maybe that would have been worse, you see. But I can look at the same situation and be completely neutral about it and say it is what it is, it's fine either way, you see. Or I could look at this and say, 'Man, why did I go to the doctor that time? You know, I was fine. Now look at this, they found this.' So do you see that the perspectives are very flimsy and they're completely available for consciousness to believe, you see? Yeah, completely available for everything.

So no matter what you bring to the table, we can turn it around, we can flip it, you see. And what happens is this is the cause of so much conflict in the world because everybody can bring their own—like everybody, all aspects of consciousness can bring their unique perspective into a particular situation. But if we bring along the idea of whether we are right or wrong along with that, you see, then we want to get approval from other aspects of consciousness to carry the same perspective. And when they don't, we feel like, 'Oh, I am right, they are wrong,' or it can create doubt, or 'Maybe I am wrong, maybe they are right,' you see. It can bring all these kind of troublesome situations, you see.

That's why the masters have fundamentally said that rather than taking any perspective, just be open and empty or neutral no matter what life is bringing you, you see. And sometimes like this so-called positive perspective of all being grace can help us bring that to neutrality. We may need to neutralize our negative conditions and constructs using a positive antidote where the mind is telling us, 'No, no, this is so bad. What is going to happen to you? What if it turns out to be really bad? These doctors are taking it so easy, they're not even telling me,' you see. And then if you replace that with a perspective like 'Guru Kripa Kevalam, all is Master's grace,' you see, then you may find the ease, a neutrality in that situation, you see.

So no matter what the content of the appearances is, what the content of the experiences is, you as consciousness have unlimited capacity to bring your perspective to it or to remain in your neutrality, you see. And suffering equals to take a perspective to be reality or truth, you see. And not suffering or non-resistance is to take just the openness, to take no perspective about something, you see. It is what it is. Even that actually is just a perspective. To be open and empty even of that perspective, you see, then that is the advice or recommendation. Do you see that? Do you see that you as consciousness have the ability to let go of any perspective and to pick up any perspective?

It's—as you were speaking, I was thinking, I suppose as consciousness, not I, there was times that I knew that I don't have an opinion. I have no opinion about so many things that people have a strong opinion about before I was on this path. And so I would—I don't know, I didn't know how to feel, so I would look to people to what—what is your opinion? And then agree with people, you know, maybe likes or whatever, and then, 'Oh yes, that makes sense.' But it's funny with these things, looking things up, and I'm still looking a lot to someone that has a good attitude. Who has a good attitude about facing things like sickness? And look on the internet, where's someone with a good attitude? And you can't usually find one. But it's funny, even if you do that, my mind is so—you're willing to dismiss it.

Okay, let's look at this as a good example. No, thank you for that. So how would you be able to determine a good attitude or not? That means that you have some capacity for determining the truth about what is good. Yeah. So what would you call that capacity? How do you have it?

What? Sorry, what?

Oh, so okay, you're looking at the internet, you're going on Facebook or Instagram and you're saying, 'Okay, can I find someone with a good attitude?' So you read something. Against what will you compare it and say, 'Yes, yes, this matches my standard of good attitude and this doesn't match'? What is it? What is it?

I guess if the feeling is okay, like the feeling of contraction disappears, goes away when I read it. It's like, oh, or you know, the feeling of resistance is less looking at it.

So where is the rule book that says that this—there's a feeling which determines what is ultimately good or bad, you see? So many times something that shakes us to the core, we can also experience a sense of fear or contraction, you see, but ultimately it's been very good for us. So we cannot use that as a true benchmark for the determination of what is good, you see. So otherwise what happens is we can get into this sort of echo-chamber sort of mode or mindset where we're just using everything that we come across to confirm what we already think is right or know is right, you see, conceptually. And everything that sort of pokes that, then we feel like, 'No, no, that is not the right way,' you see.

But we have no conceptual means—like our mind is unable to capture goodness or truth, you see, or the determination of what the appearance of a feeling means. It does not have the capacity to interpret that, you see. But your intuition does. So as you stop referring to the mind, then you'll find that there's a deeper intelligence which is independent. And you might find this a surprise because many times people feel like feelings are intuition, but feelings are not intuition, you see. So this may come as a surprise to you that your intuition is independent of feeling level or thought level, you see. Because many times the feeling level and thought level can resonate with each other but may be completely different from the truth which is intuitive.

Yeah. Now I'm not sure I know what intuition is. I thought it's sort of a lack of a feeling, sort of a lack of—

Yes, I can tell you what it is. When the—how you are guided when you are not referring to any interpretation from the mind is intuition. Okay? So you're not thinking about—yes, yes, how you are guided. The guidance received independent of mental interpretation or mental frameworks is your intuition, you see. And it's always available. It's always available. It may not be available the way the mind wants it, or available in the way that we are able to interpret it mentally. But if you just let go of the need to rely on conceptual verification, then you will find that that guidance is the guidance of the supreme intelligence which runs this entire manifest play, you see. And where you also recognize your own truth completely. That is the good news. No, they're waiting for you. No.

So this is the beauty of what is being pointed at, you see. This is the beauty of what is being pointed at where, when you let go of the need to interpret and conceptualize and come to your notionless existence, not only is every guidance available to us in the manifest way, but also the very source of your reality, your unchanging truth, is completely unmistakable, you see. There's no downside to this deal.

So I intended to come on here to ask also—and you may have answered everything already, that may have been everything, but just so I don't say later, 'Why didn't I ask that?'—yeah, so the past six months or so I've had really strong doubt about the whole path. It's funny, five years—I was raised as an atheist and kind of against the idea of a separate God. But then when I heard Mooji speaking and he was talking about awareness and consciousness, that's God, I was like, 'What?' So that's—you know, that was like, how can anyone not believe then? Because we all know we're aware. And I went in full force five years ago, like, I'm listening to everything. And then somehow about five or six months ago when it started, like, I was just trying so hard to follow the pointings perfectly and feeling like this isn't—this isn't doing anything for me, I guess. But like it's—

When I heard Mooji speaking and he was talking about awareness and consciousness, that that's God, I was like, 'What?' So that was like, how can anyone not believe then? Because we all know we're aware. And I went in full force five years ago, like, I'm listening to everything. And then somehow about five or six months ago, it started like I was just trying so hard to follow the pointings perfectly and feeling like, 'This isn't doing anything for me, I guess.' But maybe it's not working; maybe it's wrong. And then I just thought, 'Wait a minute, wait a minute...'

I'm sorry to interrupt, but I have to jump in at this point. Okay, it definitely is not working for 'me.' Yes, yeah. It's not doing anything for 'me.' It's not meant to, you see? In fact, it is the solution or the antidote to the 'me.' Yeah. So many times it will seem like it is working contrary to 'me.' It is working in the counter-purposes; it is working in opposition to 'me.' Yeah.

But then I wonder, why won't consciousness come and get rid of me? Why won't consciousness just wipe me out? Just like, 'Thank you, yes!'

But who's wondering that? This is the game the 'me' plays to say, 'When will it be the end of me?' When you stop buying into the idea that something has to happen.

Yeah, I am really still looking for... I'm a big time in the last months looking to be saved. Be saved or crucified somehow, just something.

Yes, this 'me' will be either saved or crucified. Yes, yes, yes. Just like this, 'Come on, yes, just please stop somehow, somehow just stop.' But yeah, I think that what you said is... what you said before, like that example... No, I love what you said about either saved or crucified, yeah. Because it's just like that example of someone is put into a room... Just tell them I can't complain. Just tell them, okay, give me two minutes everyone. I'm so sorry about this, but some people are waiting for me for a bit and I'll be back in a minute or so. Thank you. Just remind me what we were talking about. I don't remember.

I think you said enough. I think I'm hoping I can maybe transcribe the first part of what you said and not the last part because I think that one point was also clear.

Okay, I was saying that one point I want to make also clear is that I'm not... when we're talking about medical conditions and the state of the body, whatever I've said doesn't mean any sort of neglect towards it, nor does it mean any sort of over-caring for it. Just to allow your intuitive heart to guide what is needed moment to moment and to trust that.

Yeah, I don't think I've been doing that. I think I've gone into full panic mode. But when I transcribe this, I'll be saying, 'No, I'm just joking.' Okay, thank you. Thank you so much.

That as to not be in the fear state, many times we can take a new position which is a neglect sort of, 'No, no, I don't care. It is for God to take care of this body.' But you are the God that has to take care of the body.

Yeah, I think that's what I did for the first five years, that I was just whatever. And so I didn't go to doctors and I ignored so many things and um, yeah.

Yeah, so neither position really works. Just be guided moment to moment. Like I've been saying in the past few satsangs, there's no real how-to with anything in life, you see? There's no real how-to with anything in life. That's why life, if it was that solvable that you could make a guidebook to life—'Okay, medical situation, this is what you do. Okay, relationship situation, this is what you do. Okay, money situation, this is what you do. Oh, freedom? Oh, this is the template, read this, you're sorted'—you see, then life would not be such a mysterious, beautiful game. You see, the leela is so vast that it's undefinable in any sort of template. And that is the beauty of this, that you just have to trust your heart moment to moment. And including that, you cannot trust your heart to fulfill what your mind wants. Sometimes yes, sometimes no, we don't know. So trust your heart independent of what outcomes your mind may propose to you. You think, 'Oh, I trusted my heart and look at what happened, so great or so bad.' It is not meant to be trusted that way. Trust without a judgment of any outcomes or an expectation of any outcome. And the heart is just letting it flow. It's an intuitive sense that just like this is just intuition.

I just talked about intuition. How do you know you're accessing intuition? When you're not relying on conceptual knowledge, that is when your intuition is guiding you.

Yeah, I think Aniko's question helped me last week also, worried about the medical too. But like also that, I mean, that it can't ultimately be wrong. Like ultimately, even if you make the decision with your mind, it's ultimately... yeah, it can't be wrong.

Ultimately there is no wrong. Yeah.

Yeah, okay. Thank you so much, Father.

Thank you. So welcome, so welcome, India. So the constructs of right and wrong—don't worry, you don't have to transcribe this—the constructs of right and wrong, you see, the constructs of good and bad and this constant judgment of trying to gauge life in these benchmarks of progress and regress is just intellectual, you see? It's an intellectual play which has nothing to do with life. A plant is not saying, 'Oh, why did my branch have to grow from there? Why did the fruit have to be so heavy?' You see, all light. It has no such, hopefully, no such notions about itself. It's the human condition of the capacity to suffer, which is constantly to judge everything based on better, worse, or right and wrong. So to let go of that is a great freedom, actually.

Thank you. You were telling us about the room?

Was I telling you about a room? What room? I had no idea. I had to go to a different room. Am I on the right mic? Quite audible? Okay. Okay, let's go to Paula.

Thank you, Father. Hello. I would love to ask for some help from you with something that is also around this identity with the body. And I know that it's false. I know that it's false because I've been experiencing lately a lot of beauty, like this non-phenomenal beauty. And I see that this old idea or identity around beauty, of physical beauty, it's been very oppressive and present. And it's like it keeps me very attached or identified with the body. And although I know it's not, it's very... it's a tiny thing comparing with this beauty that I already tasted or feel. This is something that is there and I just want to put it at your feet and ask for your help to remove this thing.

Yes, very good. I'm happy with your report. There's a beautiful contemplation available with this, you see? And that is a contemplation about really about knowledge. Like even in the notion of beauty, how do we really know what is beauty? Like which aspect of us knows what is beautiful? Where can we go, you see? Where can we go? So this is... is it beauty or not beauty now? Based on each of your concepts, you may say, 'What's the big deal in this?' Another one may say, 'Oh, look at the way the lenses, they're so beautiful. Oh, there's some blue in this lens, blue cut or whatever, how beautiful.' Another will say, 'No, no, but these, you know, I prefer to be without specs because natural is most beautiful.' Each of you can have a notion of what is beautiful. But where can we go for true beauty or an identification of real beauty, you see?

So when we take a step further from a notional idea of something, you see, then that is only going to lead to trouble in the future if you can have a condition about something and that becomes the prerequisite before we can determine the nature of how something is, that this is beautiful or this is not so beautiful. And the mind can use this in oppressive ways, you see? 'But this is not... I'm not looking so beautiful' or some idea like that, you see? But can we really know? How can we know? What is the basis on which we can know these things? And let's include beauty with love, truth, Self, you see? How can we know any of these things? What is the basis for our determination of the nature of something?

I would say the direct experience of it. That there's no doubt that it's always...

Yeah, and what do we do the same always? What does direct experience mean? It's here, present. Okay, what would indirect mean? What would indirect mean? What would the non-direct be? To approach it through an intermediary, you know? Like non-direct means that there's an intermediary, like there's a lens which makes it indirect, you see? So right, so when we approach things from the lens of the mind, then that is non-direct. If we take the interpretations from the mind to be valid and real, then that is non-direct. But what is direct? Direct is that which is unopposed or unfiltered through the lens of the mind, you see? It's just direct. So whether we call it pure perception or direct experience, you see? Now, indirect experience, which is like pure perception, what do you find? You find yourself much beyond this game of playing beauty or not beauty. None of these things are valuable in that openness.

So what I call beauty that I have been experiencing lately more and more, that's not even true? So it's... that's what you're saying?

I don't know. It's not true in one sense, in the sense that you may be pointing to the beauty that you are experiencing, you see? You may be having a direct experience or an intuitive insight into something and the best way you can talk about it is to say, 'It is so beautiful.' You see, I may say that in satsang as well. But in the notion of beautifulness, you see, its reality is not captured. No. So at best it's a nice signpost, but can we say the signpost is ultimately true? We cannot. Now tell me if in your direct experience there is an opposite to beauty? Is it possible to determine either way? We cannot, isn't it? You see, that's why many masters will struggle with this in terms of to struggle with putting it in words and they will just say, 'It is as it is,' you see? And then when their disciples will pester them and say, 'No, no, but will it all be all right? Will it be all right? Please tell me, it doesn't help me to know it is as it is. Please, please tell me.' And they say, 'No, no, don't worry, it's all perfect as it is,' you see?

So there comes a word which has the potential to cause more confusion with the idea of perfection, but sometimes you have to use words to point or reassure. And that's where a word like 'it is so beautiful' can be reassuring in that way or pointing in that way. But does it really encapsulate your discovery of pure perception? No, it can't. No. Yes. So as long as you use the word for communication, you see, when somebody asks you or you feel someone is open, then that is fine. But if you need the word to convince you that that was so great, then that is troublesome. To convince yourself. Many times it is like this kind of mental talk that we think we need to convince ourselves on the validity of our own experience or the value of our own experience. That is where the trouble comes also because the experience already passed. I mean, I'm talking from that whatever.

And more so, whatever you needed to quote-unquote 'know' about the experience was inherent in the experience itself, but it cannot be conceptually known. But the thing is, because the mind is so restless without that conclusion, you see? So you're facing a beautiful mountain, beautiful quote-unquote 'beautiful' mountain, and in the experience of it, whatever there is to offer in that experience is already available to you, you see? It is only that when we feel like, 'Okay, did I spend this time creating some value for myself?' and think, 'Yes, yes, I went to that place and it was so beautiful,' you see, because we need the value in the narrative, not the value in the taste. You see, because value in the taste of a direct taste of it, you cannot insert in any narrative. And the mind is completely dissatisfied with gaps in narrative, you see? But let your narrative be full of gaps, if not completely non-existent.

It is only that when we feel like, 'Okay, did I spend this time creating some value for myself?' and think, 'Yes, yes, I went to that place and it was so beautiful,' you see, because we need the value in the narrative, not the value in the taste. You see, because value in the taste—a direct taste of it—you cannot insert in any narrative, and the mind is completely dissatisfied with gaps in narrative, you see. But let your narrative be full of gaps, if not completely non-existent. Good. Thank you.

Father, thank you. Thank you. Thank you for the gift of your attention and generosity with your time. Thank you. I just wanted to report something in the hope that you can shed some more light on it. So, when I meditate, which is through the invitation normally, I find towards the end, after the questions, that's the state when I settle back into being closest to consciousness—maybe the activation energy of the meditation. In that state, I actually felt like talking to myself. So, I sort of asked in that state, I asked myself, 'So, if this is what I'm experiencing, then who is Arvind with my identity and background, and the stories?' And if I'm experiencing something around spaciousness, sort of a sense of a freezing of everything into a single frame and everything being a sensation in that frame, then in that picture, on that canvas, who is Arvind with my past, my future, and everything? That's one question I ask myself.

The second question is that if this experience is authentic, then why would this go away? In other words, I ask the experience itself that if you are the Absolute or what I'm experiencing, then why would you go away and why would it be momentary? And then I sort of also feel like in that state that some answers do come instinctively. Okay, so I'm asking the questions verbally, but you feel like there is a certain feedback. It's not verbal, but there's a certain feedback, like perceptual. Maybe it's almost like, if I were to put it into words, like a chessboard opens up and you're like a pawn in a chessboard and all kinds of moves are happening, and you're just being told—sort of getting a guidance—that, 'Yeah, the game is on and you're a pawn and it's just playing out, so don't worry about it.'

Or when I ask about 'Who am I?', it's almost like an uncoiling. You feel like something more, something like 360 is uncoiling. You feel your brain sort of activating the 360-degree sense to kind of tell you that what you've been worrying about is only at the very surface of all this. Okay, so I just wanted to share this with you because what I don't know is: Is this authentic or is it again just a thought playing itself out, playing a game of sort of like an effortful discovery which again is only thought playing with itself?

Yes, yes, yes. Good. Thank you. The way to ensure that it's not just another conceptual game is to go all the way with it, you see, because the mind cannot go all the way. So, the way to ensure that it's not just another game is to... okay, so you ask the question and then you have some perceptual experience. It could be very subtle, you see, but as long as there is movement or change, then it is perceptual in some way. So, the way to ensure that it's not just another game of imagination and mind is to really ask: So, what witnesses that perception? You see, can that be perceived?

Yeah, I'm aware that the Absolute is imperceptible because it's the perceiver itself.

Yes. And what does the Absolute have but being received by its absence of being able to be perceived, isn't it?

Yes, but how do we confirm that then? Like, is it just something that we can infer because we have heard about it or read about it, or is this possible to confirm?

You see, that which I am... and sometimes a term like the Absolute, although we use it often in satsang, can subtly create a distance between myself and the Absolute. So, what we're really saying is my reality is unperceivable. But do we have to rely on the words of a scripture or the words of a master, or is this something that we are able to confirm for ourselves?

So, one question I have there is—one intuition I have is—if it's effortful perception, then it must be a thought. Yeah, so it has to be effortless because it has to be unintermediated by interpretation, right? And by perception, do you mean it has attributes and qualities, or what do we mean by perception?

Well, I mean perception itself is just a knowing. It's the knowing through whatever organs we have that can know. Yeah. So, are we talking about objective experience through sense objects? Are we talking about things which we can say have a particular color, shape, or size? You see, they come and they go. Are we talking about that as perception? And that's fine, because that's how we usually refer to it. It's more energetic.

Yes, but even energy is a perception, isn't it?

Yeah, you see, although it may be subtler than, or at least conceptually subtler than, what we're used to experiencing through our eyes or ears. You see, as long as we can tell, distinguish differences, even qualitative ones... so let's say, for example, even if you were not referring to perception as that, I take everything that has change as perception. You see, everything that has the ability to change, we look at that as perception. If it comes, if it can go, if it is new, if it is old, you see, all of these things, we look at that as a perception. You see, now my question to you is: What is known without having to perceive?

Well, it's the sense that I exist, that I am.

Very good. But how do you confirm that you exist?

I know how to confirm it, but I think in the negation of it, it expresses itself. As you said, if you try to tell yourself that 'let me not exist,' then it sort of violently resists that idea, right? So, you feel—again, it's energetic—but you feel like an upwelling of energy.

Yes. And how about the one that is aware even of existence? Would we call even that energetic?

It's just spaciousness. I mean, I don't know how to use the words, but the one that's aware is just spaciousness that's aware of... and that's aware that in effect the energy that expresses itself as 'I am' is just part of it. It's the frame. You just feel like it's the single frame, like a 3D frame in which everything is felt.

Yes. And is that space...?

I don't know how to put... I'm sorry. What I'm finding difficult is to find words to express what that is. I mean, 'frame' and all are just very... but I'm finding it very difficult to express. How do you know what is that? I don't know. It's only a sense. Now, again, I don't know. I am unable to put more definition towards how I know it.

Very good, very good, very good. This ineloquence of being able to describe that is beautiful. It's beautiful because it is not describable, you see. So, if I was to say, 'How do you confirm this spaciousness or frame?', you see, is it through any perception? You see, you will not be able to say it through any perception. You will just struggle with the word to say, 'How do I confirm?' And yet, that is the recognition which all of us come to satsang for, you see. That recognition which is independent of all perception or logic or intellect is the recognition of the Self itself.

Well, thank you. That seems like I'm on the right track, yes. Because we don't know whether we're on the right track. We don't know whether we're reconditioning ourselves or whether it's your mind playing games with you.

Yeah, so you're doing very well. Thank you. You're doing very well. There will come a point soon where I will ask you to give up on all notions of even progress, but since you're relatively new to these meetings, I can reassure you that you're doing very well.

Thank you. And looking forward to in-person satsangs when the time allows.

Thank you. Very welcome, very welcome. Okay, let's go to Bram and Santiago. You have a new friend with you today?

No one's there, Father. No idea. There's just this strong urge here to just share some words. Yes, yes please. There's only you, Father. There's only you. Everything that appears, the space in which it appears, and that which perceives, it's all only you. It's only you and you alone exist. Any sense of myself, it's only you.

Thank you. Thank you. Very, very beautiful. Touched my heart.

And even this Maya play, it continues or it stops or it's... it's all only you. And it's all preordained by you. And desire does not exist. It does not exist. And yet we can say words like, 'I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.'

I love you too. I love you too. All my love. Thank you. Thank you for that. Thank you. Very good, very good, very good. Thank you, my love. It's always a joy to hear you.

Thank you, Father. Ah, even this Maya is not real. It's not real, yes. Only is real. Real or not, here is real. Real.

All my love, all my blessings, all my life. Thank you. Thank you, my loves. Good to see you both. Okay, let's go to Edgar.

Hello. Hello, Father. No idea. Did you finish your exams? Um, no, it was actually like weekly exams, so I don't have a finish line until like the whole thing finishes. But today was not the day of exams. And you know, satsang actually takes place really early right here. I struggle sometimes to wake up. So, yeah, I wanted to say I'm very thankful to you, just hoping that you do all the cleanup job and hopefully I can start right, like I can start with the same light that you have and with all the people that are around. Because I would really like to be of service, of service to people, and I think the best way to do that is to be that, to be that, you know.

So, I actually... maybe there are some personal problems that go through the mind, but I don't really want to comment on that at the moment. I don't feel that there is any... just to say that and to thank you for all the satsang days.

Very good, very good. I have no doubt that Satguru's grace will make the best use of every life that is surrendered to this grace. So, there's no doubt at all about that. Whatever may be the best, most auspicious use—so-called use—of a surrendered life, grace is only moving that way. So, you don't have to worry at all about that. And just make sure that you're not determining very strongly what that looks like, you see, because life can surprise you. You can carry the feeling, the almost intention in your heart, but don't determine what that looks like in outward expression too strongly. Leave life a bit open, because then you will find such a wasteful expression, non-resistive. Because if you have too strong a box in terms of where you want your life to go or what it should do, then it can become in resistance to that pure auspiciousness which is playing out anyway, you see. You can also ultimately be auspicious alone. But if there's any guidance that can be provided about this, the intention, the feeling in the heart...

An outward expression too strongly because leave life a bit open, because then you will find such a wasteful expression non-resistive. Because if you have too strong a box in terms of where you want your life to go or what it should do, then it can become in resistance to that pure auspiciousness which is playing out anyway. You see, you can also ultimately be auspicious alone, but if there's any guidance that can be provided about this, so the intention, the feeling in the heart is very beautiful. Don't try to determine what that should translate into in life; let life determine that for you. Here, for example, I felt like even if one day I become free, I don't want to share satsang. I'm too introverted, too private. I would rather sit and read a book, you see, than to sit in front of all of you and share words. That did not feel natural at all. But I left it open and took Guruji's grace. So how it has to play out, you can leave to the Master's grace.

Yes. You said sometimes that, you know, that we get open and empty and then let life flow. And I don't know if I mistake that for the experience, but you know, whenever I am in satsang or listening to some highlight on YouTube, there are some times which, like, I don't feel like, you know, it's a feeling actually. It's a feeling. So I don't want to mistake that for the thing here. Like my body is moving automatically, you know? I'm just out of it, out of the equation.

Yes, yes. Very good, very good. It is just a recognition of how it always is, you see. It's just a recognition of how it always is. Like, can you move your body as you personally move your body? Move your finger. How do you do it? So the idea of automatic or with volition, you see, is just an idea. So when you're empty of that idea, then you see that, ah, it's just moving. You see, in that intelligence of consciousness, everything is just moving. So those moments where we recognize the absence of individual volition or agency, they can seem very freeing. But remember that the 'I' who could control doesn't exist at all. So it is not that you are not the doer; it is that that which could have been the doer or non-doer doesn't exist. You see? With me, no? So many times you can just get into this sort of frame of mind that, 'No, no, but I am not the doer, everything is being done for me automatically.' But there is no such 'me.' And that is important to see because otherwise what can happen is that we can still feel if things are not going so well according to our minds, then we can start feeling like we are the victim to this. Like, 'I have no doership, but I am subject to all this that is happening to me,' you see. 'Oh dear God, why are you doing this to me? Please stop.' You see, these kind of ideas can come if we still hold ourselves separate or as the one who is not the doer in some way.

Who's the one who is not the doer? If I assume there is a non-doer, then that question comes into place.

Yes, exactly, exactly. So if there could be a non-doer, then we must investigate: who is this non-doer? You see? But once there's no such assumption, which you rightly said, then there's nothing at all. There's no individuality at all. We remember not to assume either doership or non-doership, because either way there is identity. There is identity either way.

Ah, okay. You know, because you know that, yes, like you're right. I feel like I've been, you know, too attached to that experience of non-doership, yeah, emphasizing the noun. And it's not always like that, but I feel like, yes, I have made out this narrative of, you know, whenever I'm in that state, like, that is when I'm free.

Yeah, no, this is... yes, this is a common trap in Advaita these days where we take on the identity of being the non-doer too strongly. But who is that one who's the non-doer? Or who's not the doer? Is there still a 'me,' little old me, who is now a puppet in God's hands? As a provisional statement of surrender, that could be all right, you see. As a provisional statement of surrender, that could be all right, but it's not a true statement in any sense of the word.

You know, sometimes when I read this transcription on Facebook in the page, whenever you share something personal, like for example, I just read some articles when you said like you had some... before years ago you had something with your relationship and that makes me feel like, 'I thought he was perfect!'

Oh yes, I'll just call my wife and she can tell you all the imperfections! And that happens a lot because I've watched Eckhart Tolle videos before, like years ago, and there was also like one girl who accompanies him and he's saying that even he's not perfect. So that, like, I had this idea like whenever I get to that, like, I will be perfect. And that shadows away.

Well, this is a recurring theme in today's conversations: where will we go to determine perfection? And we talk about this actually, the idea of perfect. Where will we go to determine perfection? What will be the true way to measure perfection? Like, to be able to determine 'this is perfect' or 'this is not so perfect,' we must have a great sense to be able to measure it, no? So what gives us the ability to measure perfection or imperfection? Like, if we met perfection, how would we know it? It's worth contemplating. It's worth contemplating because otherwise we can just get stuck in an idea of what we think perfection is. And you say, 'Wow, that is so perfect,' and your friend looks at the same thing and says, 'What? That is not perfect at all, that's terrible.' And it happens many times in our lives. So what's going on? What is the discrepancy?

Yeah, sometimes one has the idea, and since ideas change according to people...

Yes, and even our own ideas, they change over the years, you see. Like five years ago you may have thought that Cristiano Ronaldo is perfect, or some sports person that you admire or something like that. Today you might find that the spiritual master is perfect. Tomorrow you might find some other idea of perfection, you see. But what is the basis on which we can say, 'Okay, this idea is truly true, it's really valid'? It's a tough one.

Is that so? You know, I have fear of just letting this spirituality thing, because I've been there before and I've left, then came back. I don't know if this time is the true one where I will stay like for the rest of my life. And yes, I don't want to leave, you know? I've been with you for almost like three months, just three months. But I've been like... I don't know if there was a mistake, but whenever I have some personal problem and I feel like speaking it aloud, I don't know, maybe this is why you say that satsang is in the heart of one, not like an event. Because I feel like you... I don't know, I make this imagination maybe, but you always say... like I tell my problems aloud and then, I don't know if I hear that, like the thought comes to my mind—it's not a thought, but whatever—when you say exactly what I need to hear. And in that moment, like, I get it. And I don't know if it is your voice, like your voice as a person, or it is all in my head, or it is the heart. Yes, accept the mystery. I just want to comment that, but I don't want to seem crazy saying it right now. So that's what I tried, an explanation.

A little bit of craziness is a prerequisite to be in satsang, is it not?

But I remember I said a little bit. You know the idea of this thing called perfection, like in the mind? You know what happened like two days ago? I just adopted a cat, and then like, I didn't leave it, but my father did. And I couldn't do much about it and I felt really bad because he left it somewhere in these rural places. But she is a little cat, so I felt like things shouldn't be like this, like she should be with us.

Ah, cat. Are you talking about a cat or a car?

No, no, cat. The animal. A cat. A little cat. Yeah, she's very young, like one month, two months old. Yes, I felt like a fair... injustice and fairness. And maybe I remember the words like, everything is like on the bigger scale, it is all okay, all fine. But I didn't want to apply that conceptual thing to this feeling situation because I wanted to just feel that. Maybe 'everything is right' is just a construct, but I don't want to go to 'everything is wrong' too. So yeah, both either way is a construct. And that didn't make me more free because I thought like when I am free, I will understand everything's alright and I will never feel sad.

Every construct is just a construct, just like every thought is a thought. Like everything you can think is a thought. It can feel like, 'What branch do I hold now then? Which branch can I hold now? Is it right? Is it wrong? Is it neutral?' But all three are branches. Leave them all. And remember that I'm not speaking of your outer expression. Your outer expression could be completely at peace with your father, or yelling at your father, or fighting with him, or sulking or whatever. That's not what I'm talking about, you see. I'm speaking about your inner space, in a way, just to use those terms. Somewhere we have to admit that we don't know. Somewhere we have to admit that we don't know what was better for the cat, what was better for us, what was better for humanity or the world. We don't really know. And is there no way to know? There's one way to know, but that which you know that way cannot be expressed in words. And that's all that I'm constantly pointing to, like pointing to your intuition where it may provide some words at times as pointers, but not as ultimate truths. But you cannot hold the mind with one hand and intuition with the other, because all the mind wants is confirmation of its idea. The mind says, 'Here's my box,' and it wants intuition to fill up that box with the right colors. But intuition is not in service to the mind in that way.

As a blessing, I want to tell you that if you are in any way comparing the life of Ananta with your life playing out, you are far ahead. At your age, I was completely lost in the mind, but you're doing very well. And may you go much beyond this Father of yours.

I feel like I owe it to people to be as understanding as possible, because sometimes it is tempting to hear the mind, like to come to these ideas. And you know, because I still feel like there is a sense of choice, that's for sure.

By virtue of you calling me Father, you owe it to me to be open and empty. That's all.

And no, there is a question coming here. Not a question, like there was a point in satsang that I wanted to ask you, like, Ananta Ji, do you really exist? Like in a real sense? Because I don't know. I don't know this realness. I asked Brahm and Santiago earlier about what is real. What does real mean? What does 'exists' mean in a way? What does real mean? How to confirm to you if I really exist? I have to know what real means to confirm or deny. To you, do I exist? For you, do I exist? Like, am I real? Am I a dream?

For me, there's no real one here. I don't know what it means, you see. Then how would I have it? Yes, yes. Because I find this mouth doing the term sometimes, you see, 'reality' and things like this. I don't know what it means.

You know, sometimes like in the thoughts, I don't know if it is for you, but for me, like sometimes I am all in all this dialogue and then like I'm using the word 'real.' Like for example, 'I'm really mad,' and then I just mid-sentence stop and then start with this questioning: what do I mean by real? Then I get all confused and leave it.

Very good.

Would I have it? Yes, yes, because I find this mouth during the term sometimes, you see reality and things like this. I don't know what it means, you know. Sometimes, like in the thoughts, I don't know if it is for you but for me, like sometimes I am all in all this dialogue and then like I'm using the word 'real.' Like for example, I'm really mad, and then I just miss sentence to stop and then start with this questioning: what, what, what do I mean by real? Yeah, then I get all confused and leave it.

Very good. The whole point of satsang is so that you get confused and leave it. Not satsang you leave it—you get confused and leave the mind. There's still a sense of wanting to stay here and, like you said, sometimes it's okay to be attached to the unattached one. Something and, uh, yeah, I wanted to be in satsang like whole life because I feel satsang is free.

Satsang is not free, or is regular not free? Now you have to do transcript.

I actually was waiting for this moment for many years, but now I charge transcripts. It's okay, I actually enjoy that. Interesting, people hate that. Jokes aside, so two important pointers from Jyoti Ma, which is what is: you have to transcribe everything, not what you feel to transcribe. And second pointer is that you have to transcribe the words as they are spoken, not what you think was spoken or what you understood out of them. I'm saying this for everyone, I'm presuming that's happening. She couldn't have made this up, I'm sure. I don't know, a transcript like I stay with the definition of trust, like just hear again and then go through the words.

Yes, I love that because I don't speak English. I enjoy too, you know, if English are words like how do I, how do you convey this message to me? If like these are just sounds, these are all in my mind, like what is real here? No, what is real here? The mystery.

Yes, because like think about it, it's just words. You're just making sounds and I'm listening to them and somehow I'm getting, I don't know. Very good, accept the mystery. Thank you, thank you. Very good, very good, very good. All my love. Let's go to Jonathan. And thank you, welcome back.

Yesterday I was hearing a very beautiful talk of Guruji and he was telling about if you really want to meet the Master, you really have to want it. And I feel sometimes that I maybe don't want it enough.

Yes, so Guruji's beautiful words: if you really want to meet the Master, then you really have to want it. Let me help you with my perspective on these words. Of course, I'm nobody to be able to interpret Guruji's words in any way, but the way I hear them at this moment is that the meeting with your true being, your true divinity, your divine presence, cannot be you holding something else in one hand, you see? So if you're holding attachments, if you're holding duality, if you're holding desire in one hand, then the true meeting with the Master is not possible, you see? So want it more than you want other things; that much is more than enough. Another metaphor I use which somehow weirdly fits in with this is that you cannot board an aeroplane and keep the other foot on the ground. Either you board the plane or you don't. You can't get into a relationship with the Master and your mind, you see? So the mind is proposing various ideas to you about how your life should be, what it should have, what you must want, but you must want the truth, your divinity, your Guru more than the mind's propositions from here.

I feel that it's the only thing in life I want is to be free.

Then you're good. I get distracted, you know? That's okay, but you're still here, no? That's okay. Maya is not a tame animal; she will tempt you. So it's fine, but you're still here. As long as you're still here, and that means here in your heart, here in satsang, which is your own presence, and you as consciousness now are playing this game of letting go of your duality and desire and coming to your true nature. It's very good. So spot things, but don't judge yourself on that basis. Just that you notice them is enough, you see? You've noticed something: 'Ah, this tendency is there.' But then if you start beating yourself up with it and say, 'Oh, I still have this, when will I change? I'm not good enough, I'm unworthy,' remember that no Master has ever said anything to make you feel unworthy. They're just giving you the tools with which you can spot ignorance. You see? So you spotted it, that's all. That's all you can do and that's all you have to do. You noticed it, it's enough. But if you make it then personal, that 'Okay, I'm still not there yet, I'm not devoted enough, I don't want the truth enough,' then these kind of ideas can amplify the non-existent ego, you see? But the idea of the non-existent ego can seem bigger, not stronger, because of these ideas. So neither pride nor humility, okay? Yes, good, good, good. This itself conveys a lot of openness to come in open satsang with so many and to be able to expose this. It doesn't look like hiding to me; it looks like openness.

Yeah, I was feeling that the point is coming.

Yes, very good, very good. Thanks a lot. So welcome to... let's go to... can we go to Niranjan? Okay, maybe he's not able to join at the moment. Let's go to Chanda. Grandfather, what's their idea?

Wow, that just wanted your blessings. These last few days, the last week and days, this one has been just dying to smoke, you know? I quit a year ago now, a year ago, and now I'm struggling with to get back to smoking.

All my blessings are with you. And thank you, Father. And I don't wish this smoke on your lungs, so I'm happy to join your sankalpa in a way to not smoke. I'm happy to join you in this. Thank you, your recent blessings are with me. Thank you so much. Very good, very good. Thank you, thank you. So happy to see you like this. Same, same, same thing. I'm happy to see you happy also.

So I was just as we were talking with Edgard, you know, you said something. You said, you know, the outer expression could be anything. It could be, you know, whatever it is, especially, you know, with your father, it could be anything. And recently, I've been having this kind of experience where, you know, the outward expression is very, what I would term is very impatient with my physical father. And so it's been... I mean, sometimes when this one faces a lot of criticism, a lot of, say, sort of negative feedback, or what I term this negative feedback, what I label is negative, this one gets a bit... it's almost like this is blurting out something. Oh yeah. And then of course earlier I used to... there used to be a time when I used to beat myself up completely for that, for having behaved like that. But nowadays it's not there. It's not like, you know, I'm beating myself up. I'm doing my best to observe that there are moments where I can completely observe the criticism and observe whatever the reaction is coming up also equally well. And I can be in that space where I'm like completely fine with both. And there are moments when the, I don't know what you call it, the reaction or reaction just comes out and it's like blurts out something and that's about it, and I completely forget about it. So I was actually before you said that statement, I was just kind of wishing in my heart that I do not know what this is. If this is a reaction, then please, please knock me on the head and, you know, just give me whatever. If this is complete indiscipline or, you know, from my end where I'm being misbehaving, then I would love to be kicked on the head and just, you know, pointed in the right direction. And if it is just something that's just coming up, then I just offer this at your feet and whatever this is, I know I'm not wishing for the expression to be different because even that wish for the expression to be different can be coming from the mind. 'Oh no, I must be soft, I must be talking in a loving manner.' So that can also be another story there. And most likely it has been a story for me for quite some time that, you know, if you're transformed you must be speaking in a certain way, love must be coming out of your mouth, you must be acting in a certain way, you must be very patient even if everybody is kicking you, you must be very, very, very impatient.

When the expression is a bit... I'll tell you where that happens here. If it changes like that, I'll tell you when it happens here. It's fine, my dear. You don't have to become either a sheep or a lion. And sometimes consciousness will play like a sheep, like a lion, and that's fine as long as... and you have the smell for it now. You can smell your mind quite well. So you will recognize when you're coming from the mind and you will recognize when you're just allowing it to unfold. So how boring would it be if once you're free, then the expressions of those who are free would only have to be limited like that, all always 'shanti, shanti.' At least in our scriptures we don't find our sages like that. We don't find them like that, isn't it? So allow it to unfold, allow consciousness to unfold. We never can fathom what is best, you see? And conceptually we can never fathom. So all we can do then is trust the intuition and our intuitive intelligence and go with that.

And I wish to be physically present with you soon. Yeah, soon. So just requesting your blessings for that.

It looks like soon. All my blessings are always there, always there for that.

You return to Bangalore? I intend to understand work next month and they have work from home till December and next year is when they open up. But I was hoping that, you know, I would come over there for a month and work from home anyway over there. Allow me the chance to perhaps attend satsang. I don't know how, but again I want to surrender that to your feet. I don't know how the timings and everything is going to fit in, but I sincerely, sincerely wish that everything will fall in place so that I have the time and space for some time.

Yes, yes, I'll be very happy. I'll be very happy if it happens. Let's go to... I hear my echo coming here. You can hear me now? No, just you're never saying you must keep it lazy. Is this good now? Try a little more. Let's hear a little more.

Hello, hello, hello Father. Can you hear me? When you say hello, that's about it. There's a lot of expectation which is arising which I could spot it. It's usually the opposite of my... okay. Tell me something that you know is really real. Okay Father, I mean something knows here that everything is notionless and but something is arising strongly. It is okay, please listen then you tell me whatever. Because there are a couple of people who did not condole for Mummy, so I mean there I felt little hurt about it in the family itself. And I mean I just there was... and then she called me for something else and something here kind of... I mean I didn't tell her but I ranted about it. And then in that ranting I could see that the expectation is here and it has nothing to do with other person, but it felt bad and then it was like it was little hurting for that matter. So this I really wanted to place it at your feet and see. It's okay like, you know, to feel bad about it, but I could see like, you know...

In it's completely... you want to leave it at my feet so that I can tell you that it's okay to feel bad about it. This whole conversation she is pre-planned now.

Okay, now I'm not feeling bad about it, but I really felt bad about it and I don't know how it's going to play out next because it's kind of... so it was I felt bad, that's good. And one cure though in it's like the sense of doership here is... it is surfacing in some moments very, very strongly, very powerfully. Very powerfully. And entitlement is one thing which is happening, I can see it a lot for... so expectation and entitlement and doership like if need be...

The conversation was pre-planned. Now, okay, I'm not feeling bad about it, but I really felt bad about it and I don't know how it's going to play out next because it's kind of... so it was, I felt bad. That's good. And one cure, though, in it's like the sense of doership here is surfacing in some moments very, very strongly, very powerfully. And entitlement is one thing which is happening; I can see it a lot. So expectation and entitlement and doership, like if I need to do anything, especially when the work part—like I'm so one with it in that moment that sometimes the gap gets created, it's seen clearly also, but yes, it is coming up, surfacing very strongly here.

How do you know?

Because I can see the mind making calculations and little vāsanās for me, and then me, me, me, me. And the determination that strong doership is coming is not from the mind.

From the mind only. Everything from mind, the mind, the mind. There's a lot of doers these days. What to do with that? It's just happening right now. So I said, okay, I have to go. What to do, what to do, what to do? No, nothing to do. Do you just want to say hello? You can just come and say, 'I miss you, Father' and you know...

Yes, I really miss you, Father, and I really want to come to Bangalore, I know, and be with you for some time.

And in the meanwhile, in the meanwhile, you give your mind one challenge, which is that to present to you some fresh problem which you've not already seen through.

No, there's nothing fresh right now.

Are you happy to suffer from the same thing?

No, no, I'm not suffering for a change. There is no suffering. It's just maybe I'm granting it to you also, I don't know. Basically, you want to say hello.

Yes, Father, I love you, Father, so much. We really want to come and be with you.

Oh, you can come anytime. Thank you, Father. All my love to both of you. Thank you, Mother. Okay, hello.

No idea. Cannot see you, Father. No, no. Yes, now I can see you. You can pin it if you like. You can pin this image. Now it's fine. Um, yeah, because not because I just come and yeah, why I wanted to come is little also related with what you have said to Edgar and then Aditya added some things on it. And yeah, these days I also just see something about this but in my life and some sayings about this like you said, and you also told this to me too. And yeah, but say now hello, Father. Maybe I can show you something because I have found this little kitten and its mother refused her, so it's very young now. I will bring her to take her to veterinary, but because there's a Satsang, she's with me now. We are saying hello to you.

Very good, good. How to know what we know? How to know what we know? But when you say know, you mean in a mind way? Because there is two way of knowing: one is to know in your heart and no doubt about this, and the other one, it's not knowing at all. Just, I don't know what it...

Very good, that's very good. So how to know what's in our heart? We cannot know that. Then why we call it knowing? Why do we call it knowing that it is real knowing? Yes. And what is that like? I don't know. When you love, you can know this instantly, and it's not this, but you just know it. And it's not knowing.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. But what is real? Real, it's like real, it's just a concept. It doesn't mean anything now. Really, I don't know.

It's very good idea, it's very good. And yes, today, Father, I was checking because it seems like there is some kind of tiredness, unhappiness was there. And I feel to check, and it just happened by itself. And yeah, it's like I don't know even what is to check, but yeah, when you say what is real, it just reminded this to me because I only can say that the light of being. When you ask me in a waking state, the only thing which I can show this as real, if I need to show something, it's just the light of being, you know? Just I am, only I am. And yeah, yesterday when I checked after unhappiness, I really see that it's why it is called as home because, yeah, in the light of I am is there yesterday.

No, of course no. Is it possible to truly hold a narrative which includes time and to recognize the truths of your I am-ness even? You see, is it possible to really hold on to both at the same time if there is time?

Please repeat.

Yes, so can we hold the narrative of time—yesterday, today, tomorrow—and the recognition of our true insight about what we are concurrently?

Possible. Sure, everything is possible in consciousness. You're right. I hear, Father, because I can recall this memory here now.

So how do you know that image is from yesterday? How do you know that that image is from yesterday? What we call memory, how do you know it's not from a dream?

We don't really know. We cannot know, like you said. We cannot know.

No, we can only know. What is yesterday to you now? It feels like something unchecked. Good, good to check. And how would we check? Let's check on the checking for a moment to make sure we are checking correctly. Like, how would we check?

Like when you ask something, the attention goes on it. And when attention goes on it, it's like that when I say yesterday or talk about any narrative, any story, it's like the unconscious speaking. It's not checked. But when you point this, attention goes and it's like it dissolves.

Yes, yes. It's helpful to allow attention to flow in that way. It is helpful. But usually when I'm speaking of checking or contemplation or contemplating something, we are going to our intuitive intelligence. We are not contemplating the world the way the world says contemplate, which is to think about it and to come to a conclusion about it. To check, the way we use the word check in Satsang, is to just go with our heart intelligence or our intuitive insight.

I don't know what it is. I don't know when you say go to your heart or intuitive insight. Just when we don't go to the mind, we go to the heart. And one more thing about checking what I do: like when something is present or it's like I turned my attention to I am. It's like, yeah, everything just seems like dissolving there in I am-ness. And it's not about removing anything, but it's like everything is just... I don't know. Like I am is like a savior, really. Like, yeah, I can really relate why it is called as home.

Yes, yes, that's good, that's good.

But also, I wonder, Father, because there is before I am. It's just so obvious because it arise. And yeah, I want to bring this to you because also in Invitation to Freedom, what I realized that I always give an answer to the question of Guruji from I am-ness and it works. But only when the question comes like... so there is the before I am, there is the I am, and there is you. I don't remember, you remind me... not duality, it's triality or something.

The one that goes to I am, the one that wants to discover what is before I am and answer from there—who is that? Who are you? Remember we spoke about this giraffe or rabbit? You don't want to spend your whole giraffe lives solving rabbit problems, do you? You have to confirm who you are.

Father, I hear them in Satsang and to find myself I try to follow those instructions. I go to I am, I try to find before I am. So who plays, who dies? I am sending my attention to those places.

Who is sending the attention?

I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it.

You're not sending it? It just happened. Who is not sending it? There is no sender or not sender. Then who is there? And how would you know? May I bring something too? No, no, this one is the most important first because who will bring? Do you realize, do you realize the importance of this discovery of who you are?

But I don't believe that I can do this because for years we are trying and I don't know.

But we are in Satsang for this one, you see. And the few years... like in India there could be sadhus who have been trying for a hundred years standing on one leg in a cave trying to find out who they are. For self-realization, you are just very young still. So it's not something that you can give up on that easily.

But Father, I don't know even if I am trying to find myself or not. You are telling me to, you are telling me find out who you are.

I don't... yes, but that is the project for which I am here. And that is the project for which I am here, no? If you are looking to find out who you are, I am giving the pointers to enable you to do that. You see, it is not to help a non-existent idea that you may have about yourself. You may have a projection about yourself a certain way, and then you may have a projection of how this Ananta is supposed to help that projection. But both are just projections. I'm here as an alarm clock to wake you out of this sort of slumber to come to the discovery of what you are. And everything that I am saying is to help that discovery. How long will we play projection, projection? We must come to some clear seeing. Okay, so if what you were saying, like, 'I don't know whether I want to discover myself,' then what? If I were to ask you, okay, then what would you want? What would that be? If it is not self-discovery, then if I was to say, okay, then what? What can I do for you, my child? What is the answer?

No, I just say I don't know. If I... I don't know what I want, but I just know that I trust you, I love you, and I know that you are saying true. And if you say to me, 'Find out who you are,' of course I am just here to follow what you offered to me because I always accept that I don't know anything. I don't know what I want even.

Okay, okay, good. Now notice one thing. When we say, 'But I don't know,' you see, so that we know that when we propose that 'I don't know,' we are already proposing an idea of 'I.' See if we can stay together on this one, although the mind may sound very confused about this. You see, we may say, 'But I don't know if I can do this' or 'I don't know what I want, but I am happy to follow you.' We use 'I' so many times in a statement which we are concluding to be true, but that statement also includes 'I.' You see? So if I ask you, who is the 'I' that doesn't know? Say, 'But I don't know.' Then we cannot ever say, 'But I don't know what I want,' because the 'I' itself you don't know, then how do you know whether it wants or doesn't want? You see? So this 'I' is fundamental to any proposal we can make about ourselves, and that is why this discovery is very, very important. Suppose the Master had the power to make anyone happy, no? So then you say, 'Okay, I want happiness for the giraffe.' No, I want happiness for the giraffe. To say, 'Okay, all happiness to giraffe.' But the happiness is looking for the giraffe and it doesn't find any giraffe, so it just goes away. That's not what we want. So first we may have to really identify, you see, what is actually here that we can ask for something for. So when you say, 'Father, may I just be at peace,' or not that you're saying it, I'm saying more broadly, if we come and say, 'May I just be happy or at peace,' it's okay at some level. But really, you see, if we are asking for something that doesn't even exist or someone that doesn't even exist, then where will that peace go? Who will it find? Where should I send it? If I had 100 kg of love, 200 kg of peace, and all the joy that the world can hold, and I say, 'I want to ship all of this to you, I want to send all of this to you,' to which address should I send it?

I don't know. Love or peace doesn't need any holder. Love is love, peace and easy. Yes, find out who you are, Father. And I don't know if it has any importance, but maybe it can help. May I share something which is just something which I experienced two or three years ago, not a goal when I was two or three...

You have to find out who you are. Everything else is not so important. The mind will propose various methods to look at various things to actually take you away from this question. But everything that you're looking for is available in yourself as your true Self. But for that, you have to come to the discovery of what you are. Like, who is aware of all of these perceptions? Yes. Oh, this is what I would like you to contemplate, and I'm happy.

You have to find out who you are. Everything else is not so important. The mind will propose various methods to look at various things to actually take you away from this question, but everything that you're looking for is available in yourself as your true self. But for that, you have to come to the discovery of what you are. Like, who is aware of all of these perceptions? Yes? Oh, this is what I would like you to contemplate, and I'm happy to speak more about this. I mean, you don't have to, but you see, if you come to a Chinese restaurant, you'll get Chinese food only. There's no point asking for ratatouille and pasta in a Chinese restaurant.

Father, after we spoke last time, I feel too—I don't know if it is necessary now—yeah, I want you to talk about this a little bit because it somehow struck me. I read something from Nisargadatta Maharaj, and I always hear from you this what I'm going to say, but it somehow just touched my heart because he was referring to himself like, 'I have nothing to do. I have nothing to do with him. He is doing his own thing.' I don't remember exactly, but he was saying like at ninety years age of—I don't know now—like this kind of detachment. This bodily existence just somehow struck me, and I realized that I have no this detachment.

Who doesn't? You can't make a claim about what you have or don't have unless you know who you are. It doesn't work now. Nothing makes sense now. Let's find out who you are. Who will do this exactly?

You know, once there's a great scripture in India called the Yoga Vasistha. In the Yoga Vasistha, there's one story. In that story, there's a monster who has a thousand hands, and the monster is crying, crying, very, very upset, suffering. And why is the monster suffering? Because in every hand of the thousand hands, it has a weapon with which it's hitting itself, you see? So this monster is walking around in this huge forest which is endless, so it feels like there is unending suffering because there is no end of the forest.

Then one day what happens is that the monster meets a sage, and the sage says, 'Who are you?' you see? And as the sage said, 'Who are you?' this monster says, 'But I have enough trouble of my own. If you can't help me, at least don't attack me.' You see? 'What is this who? Who? I don't know.' And it runs away and it continues to suffer. Then in another same forest, there's the thousand-handed monster who's suffering, you see, and hitting itself and suffering. Then it comes across the sage. Then the sage says, 'But who are you?' and that monster really takes that question to heart and says, 'Who am I?' And as it takes this question to heart, all of his hands start falling down one by one, and one by one, and it loses the ability to beat itself up, you see?

So in this world, you see, all the masters really are saying is inviting you to check on who you are because all suffering, all confusion, is about misidentification, you see? But some take it to heart; you see, they open themselves up to this question and allow grace to unfold. But some feel like, 'No, no, this question is not so helpful. How would they do it?' And this plays and continues lifetime after lifetime, you see? So as a father and elder brother and a master, I don't want to postpone. I don't want to postpone. I want to invite you into this question. As frustrating as your attempts to find the answer may seem, you see, as pointless as the continued inquiry may seem, I can promise you it is worth it.

I know because I know that you are saying true. I know that Guruji is the truth, so I completely trust you. And I don't know if it is taken to my heart or not, but I pray and beg, may it be taken. And till I shall stay with it, and may it just open its grace to me.

Very good, very good. I trust your trust. I trust your trust.

Thank you, Father. Thank you for everything that you are for me.

So welcome. Very good. Let's go to Punita. Let's see what Punita is saying. Namaste. Namaste, my dear. Can you come a bit closer to the mic because it's not so audible? Hello? Yes, yes, yes. It's just about—let's continue. Namaste.

Okay, let me translate for a moment so that everybody is along with us. So she says that she feels she has a lot to confirm with me, and she tried to get my address and phone number for a long time, and it's not available anywhere. So what she found out is on Facebook that we have satsang on Zoom like this. So she's here, and she's saying she wants to find out how she can get into personal contact so that I can be in touch with her.

So I'll just translate for them again quickly. I won't tell the full thing, but she's been seeking the reality of who she is for thirty years, and she came to Bhagwan Sri Ramana Maharshi, and then looking for more and more satsang, she came across Guruji. And then she got in touch with Guruji's sangha in Mumbai, which told her that there is this Ananta who is in Bangalore who understands Hindi, so it may be helpful for her to communicate with him. So I want to say that I'm very happy to share my number and contact information with you because for somebody who's been searching for the truth in their heart for so long, I'm happy to get in contact with them. We'll find a way for you to get in touch with Jyotima or someone because I can't share it openly in the broadcast right now. But if you can find Jyotima on Facebook—so Nitin is there in this group, you can message Nitin and he can let you know my number. Or anyone, actually; any one of you from the sangha can send a private message with her my number, and she can WhatsApp me and then we can speak some more as well. Somebody will send you a private message here on chat with my number for WhatsApp. You can contact WhatsApp.

Very good, very good. So I will answer her first so that her question is fresh with me, and then I will translate a little bit for the rest of you, whatever I can recall. Thank you so much. I want to apologize for the rest of you who weren't able to participate in this conversation, but I felt it was a little full on, so I didn't break to translate. But I'll give you some sense. It's basically what I share with you every week, but it really touched my heart that here's one who's been seeking with full sincerity this truth about the reality of what she is, and I feel blessed to support her in this journey.

And I just pointed to her a few things. One is to not worry about the past so much but look right now as to that which is aware of all the perception, and what is the nature of that? And how can that be confirmed? Can it be confirmed through perception? Can it be confirmed through mental understanding? And she confirmed to me simply that it's not confirmable in perception or conceptual understanding; it is only through direct insight. Then she had questions about, 'But if the recognition is true, then why is the body not...' I love the innocence in this kind of question, you know? She said, 'But if you look at Bhagwan, I look at Guruji, they seem to be so full of love and physical pain doesn't seem to affect them so much, but why isn't it happening here like this if it is true what I'm discovering?'

So I pointed out to her that sometimes the mind uses these things to try and convince us back into body conditioning, identification back with the body. So I said to her that she must stay with the recognition of what she is discovering and leave what needs to happen through the body to Satguru's grace, to the Master's grace. And I really enjoyed this conversation, which is really pointing to the heart of the matter. Very good. Let's quickly go to the rest. Let's go to Nupur first.

Hello, Father. It's been a very, very beautiful satsang today, Father. And just wanted to acknowledge this recognition which is slowly allowing the unfolding to happen further, and dissolution to happen, and the recognition that the awareness of the form of the body and the—you see that? Still noise. Is our image frozen? No, I'm here, I'm here. No, Father, can you hear me? Oh, I lost you, Father. Hello? Hello, Father? Ah, there you are. Okay. So sorry, I think my battery is run off, Father, my laptop's battery. And I hope the battery of the person has also run off. I just wanted to just be at your feet, Father, and just ask, pray for this complete dissolution because it's become very clear that this life is just meant for this. This has to happen. No more lifetimes, Father. No more.

No more. And 'no more' also is not up to our mind, huh?

Yeah, Father. It just has to be unconditional now. It has to just go beyond. No more ignorance, no more... yes. It's just asking for your blessings, Father, that this... how many lifetimes have happened for this encounter, Father, to happen today? Reporting so sweetly and seriously, and I'm just—

No, Father, you're right. I'm just messing with you. I hope you can see the love behind all my jokes.

Yes, Father. I love you so much. Just wanted to say that to you. It's just so much love, Father, for you, for the sangha, and for the blessings of Guruji. And it feels so auspicious. It's so joyous to have this in our life now. And I just want to say I love you, Father. Thank you so much for everything.

Thank you. We love you. Okay, let's go to Laurence, the last one now. Hello, Father. Laurence? Laurence, yes. Laurence, how do you say? I came to Paris one time and we went to this falafel place and I always mispronounced the name, and we had one Atma who was from Paris so she used to laugh at me. I used to call it L'As du Fallafel. No, she used to say L'As du... L'As du is an Indian sweet. No, how do you pronounce it? Falafel? You know this place? No? It's very good. You must. Okay, we are having big controversy. No, I'm not clear about this one. Very good. That's my highest pointing: L'As du Fallafel. Let's do some falafel. As I don't understand what you're saying, how can I do this transcription? What am I going to write? The most important transcript of my eyes. One, you have to do this one. It's the first time I heard L'As du Fallafel all wrong so far.

Yes. Oh, I don't know what to say now. Nothing can mark that exactly. I just saw this beautiful satsang with Papaji and he said whenever someone laughs, there's no mind.

Yeah. You know, but you keep laughing. Don't think about all this stuff.

Yes. Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Truly, what to say now? There was such a strong resistance to come up today and that's why it smelled. But now what to say? There has been this very strong play to try to pull back into identification, and I'm really not sure what to do with this. I just raised hand—hand was raised because they could feel this resistance. So something has to be exposed in that case.

Spiritual guidebook 2077, verse 33, right? Okay, bye-bye. No, but what happens is we make these templates, no? You know, 'Okay, resistance, so I should expose.' And I'm responsible for much of that because you can't take this stuff so seriously. No, no, no, no, no. But there is—let's put it—no more tissues, so I'm going to sleep. It's fun, actually. Okay, no, but the thing is you don't have to become serious because you're not taking yourself seriously. Yes, yes, truly, truly. That's what I loved watching this video of Papaji that was maybe—oh God.

What happens is we make these templates, no? You know, every okay resistance, so I should expose. And I'm responsible for many, much of that, because you can't take this stuff so seriously. No, no, no, no, no, no. But there is, let's put it, no more tissues, so I'm going to sleep. It's fun actually. Okay, no, but the thing is, you don't have to become serious because you're not taking yourself seriously.

Yes, yes, truly, truly. That's what I loved watching this video of Papaji. That was maybe, oh god, that was maybe one of the first videos that I watched. And somehow, you know how this mind can create these stupid ideas? Like, there's all this love for Mooji, and all this love for you, and all this love for Ramana Maharshi, for some reason diving into Ramana's eyes. And there was this thing with Papaji, not so much. Yes, I don't think there will be any questions, Father, not even any reporting, because it's really low. It's dissolved in laughter somehow. Although if it's not exposed, it might come up again. Spiritual guidebook 3074: if it is not exposed, then option one... if left unexposed... okay. If you can hand it over, it's going to be my new spiritual name, this Ladhu Falafel. I was looking for one, that's a good one, this one. Oh god, but this falafel you cannot perceive, noticed. Still, I mean, in the abdominals, I don't know how you say when you laugh too much, you know, this thing that suddenly feels stiff. That's the taste of just good. Sorry.

Let me see how you write Sadhu, because I've got to transcript. How do you spell? Oh my god, happiest survivor. Oh god, God is right. If it spells like that in the transcript, you don't worry. Yeah, I'm not ready. Oh my, she's like, oh god, oh yeah. Okay, I can't see anything now with this. You don't need to seem to put it too funny. This is the falafel which cannot be seen. Well, in falafel there is love. I laughed. She's actually so funny. Why is she so serious all the time?

We have the most important question here in the Sangha. Someone says, 'La' means what? 'La' actually, are a falafel, exactly. And you know 'Fa' in Western music notes is the heart. And 'Do' is what? And what 'Do' is what? He fires the heart, yes. 'Do' is the first one, the basic one, yeah. That's all he does or anything now. 'Ed' with a head will be love. The first one. It's absurd. What? With chakra meditation, then watch Sound of Music. Oh my god, she really wants to know God. A new religion is being born. Oh my god, truly, if we can leave it at that, right? Yes. If a question comes up again, we'll see. But oh god, thank you. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you for laughing Buddha.

That's... did you have to go? Still there, Radha Patna? Do you know she's there? Don't see her. Maybe she had to go. Radha, you want to sing something? Do you want to tell us about your visit to Ladhu Falafel? I know you went, it was super delicious. You can always sing, I'm sure it's fine. Okay, thank you all so much for being in Satsang today. Satguru Sri Moojiji Ki Jai. Anant Koti Brahmand Nayak Rajadhiraj Yogiraj Parabrahma Sri Purnananda Sadguru Maharaj Ki Jai.