The Company of the Atma Within, of God’s Presence Within, Is Priceless - 20th December 2024

I try two hours to be with God, but I also count these satsang days. I count like these two hours.

These two hours? Yes, it's fine. As long as wholeheartedly we are in satsang, wholeheartedly we're giving this time over to God, then that's fine. That's... I see that since the day I said that, satsang attendance has gone up. Since I said it is allowed to count these hours in the sadhana time. I'm just making a joke, don't worry. Just looking at you, everything looks good to me. Thank you. It's so good to hear that from you, Father. Welcome.

Father, I just wanted to ask if you recognize that the witness and the doer is the Self, then you also automatically from that, you know, you understand that the sensations you're feeling are the part of Maya. That say that you're feeling some body sensation and all that's a manifestation from the Shakti and it's witnessed by the Self. And then the images and sounds, you know, the duality and the others, it's also part of the manifestation powers of the Shakti. So then there's no real sense of, okay, I the individual, right? I mean, in that looking, you know, sometimes you may even feel that what you took yourself to be is disappearing and or dissolving. So the Self also gives you that beautiful, I would say, the gift of validating, right? So you may feel like your body sensations are going and all that. So my question is that shouldn't then every, you know, every individualized appearance in that seeing share the same, you know, the same knowledge, same inner knowledge? Because they're all manifested from the same source, they're all being experienced by the same source, right? So if, like in satsang right now, this is satsang seen as being manifest, eventually there's only one living power that's manifesting all the appearances here and enjoying it, enjoying the show. So then shouldn't all the individualized, you know, to the extent we say you, me, other, to the extent shouldn't that also dissolve in the seeing? Because you know, if you say that you know that you can see the Maya and you can witness that that's happening within you, then shouldn't all the other objects within also share the same knowledge? Because they're all being... they're only just, you know, light and sound show, if you will, within the source, right? They don't have any knowing or doing of their own. So I just thought I would just ask this because kind of some individualization in within the universal, which I just wanted to ask.

Okay, so the question could be understood in two different ways. One is that isn't the core of the Atma Gyan, the Atma Darshan, the self-knowledge that we are talking about, shouldn't that be the same for everyone? It has to be. It has to be the same for everyone. The other way to look at the question is that once we see it is all one, then we can't really talk about the 'everyone'. But if I've understood the question correctly, the first part, which is that no matter which culture, tradition, spirituality, satsang, form of teaching, everyone that dives deep within themselves ultimately comes to the same recognition of the same one. The semantics to explain that maybe a recognition or maybe a union, maybe true self-knowledge or maybe a merging in love, you see, but that is just the outer explanation for that which is ineffable, impossible to actually explain. But at the core, you see that we've talked about so many different cultures and religions and ultimately they are all pointing to the same reality at the core of it, just the pathways being different. But because reality is... we can increase this a bit... because reality is so out of the bounds of mental understanding. And if you really look at what are we saying? Look at what we are saying: that it appears as if we are bundles of flesh and blood, but in actuality we are not. We are a Self which is beyond all attributes, all gunas. That is one way to put the absolute reality. We are the Nirguna Brahman. Isn't that completely to the mind, completely ungraspable, you see? But we don't stop there. We see that within the Self is an emergence of a Saguna, a boundless being. A boundless being but with the attribute of beingness. A being, a Consciousness without boundary. And without boundary meaning that even space and time are not boundaries for it; they are just appearances within it, notions within that. Then we don't stop there, you see. Okay, now even after that, you see, because all of this is so unfathomable, even after that, this Saguna Brahman is available to us as Atma, as a spirit. And that one is the provider of all knowledge, all love, all peace, all rest; the true Satguru presence which is the Atma itself. Now in the light of this presence emerges this world play, this Leela, this Maya. And in the appearance of this Maya, that which is all of this itself takes itself to be just this set of perceptions called the body, and seems to lose itself in this play. That which is all of this takes itself to be just this and lose itself in this play. And then in the play, becoming arrogant, has to learn for itself how to be humble, how to be faithful, how to bow down to the holy presence which is within itself, which is the Atma. And then the journey, the apparent journey back home, truly begins. So in this absurd play of sheer nothingness, but everything emerges this manifest boundless being, Consciousness, in which there's a primordial vibration called 'I am'. In the light of this 'I am', this world play appears. And I then have the ability to take myself to be, using the power of identification, belief, take myself to be just this tiny bundle of flesh and blood and cause suffering where there actually isn't any. But relying on the presence of the Atma within, we escape this delusion and return to the recognition of reality or the union with the highest. And whether this union seems like a knowing union—I see that I am that in which even 'I am' is born, which is not a conceptual knowing but an intuitive insight—whether it is a knowing in this way or whether it is merging with the Beloved as a love union, ultimately the results are the same. So when one takes itself to be an independent, separate entity, that one is advised to let go of that burden of separation and sit in that quiet, holy place within themselves, empty of identification. But then the Atma itself does all the work of providing us the right insight and healing our wounds, making us fully loving again, so that the return to oneness happens in the most natural way. So spirituality is the work of spirit; it is the work done by the Atma itself. So if you look at the entire process as if it is digging a well and coming to the Amrit, coming to the nectar of immortality, then if we take up the shovel and start digging for ourselves, then it seems like the Atma says, 'Okay, you dig.' But if our job is to surrender and to bow down to this holy presence, this Satguru within, then in a way it takes the drilling machine and really drills through the false, drills through our avidya in such a beautiful way that self-knowledge starts to really establish itself. So it is the strangest story, actually. It is the wildest story that anyone could ever compose. That's why we really never actually meet it, you see, because that capacity to meet it in the mind, intellect, is too tiny. Our tiny intellect can't even imagine accurately 10,000 oranges, you see. So how will it imagine a boundless being? I can't fathom these things. For that, we have to sit in that holy place within ourselves, the core of our being where everything withdraws to when we leave ourselves alone. A withdrawal happens, isn't it? So leaving yourself alone has to happen. If you leave yourself alone long enough, then that withdrawal happens. Whether you call it abidance or you call it focus prayer, you call it recollection, prayer of the quiet, open and empty, but just that ineffable, unexplainable place is where we have to spend this life. Because there all the true work is happening, done by Atma itself. So whether you say that your aspiration is Ishwar Prapti, to get to God, or you say it is Atma Gyan, self-knowledge, true knowledge of the Self, or it is to fall deeply in love with the Beloved, it can only happen in that place. So will we leave ourselves alone for that long so that we can stay in that place where all this holy work can happen? And nothing that I'm saying is... it's very beautiful, but it's available to all of us. After whatever sadhana you're doing, even after singing a bhajan, where do you go that you don't want to come out of? You don't want to leave somewhere, no? You just... the best worldly experience could be calling you, but you don't want to leave from there, at least for a while. Then Maya comes and says, 'Come, come, come, it's getting late. Come, come, something, something, something.' It will keep pinging you till you leave that place and we are back to the mode of being personal. So at least remain anchored there and just allow the tentacles to operate in the world.

Father, about serving God, Father. Even my efforts for being open and or even prayers are still seems to be serving me only. So there were times where I am not me, I'm with God, and still the question came, 'How can I serve You?' And I can surely say that there's not a single act I have done yet to serve God, Father. So it's still far away from serving Him, His will. So it's at best serving my will for being present with Him, that's it.

For something very beautiful I heard today: God did not create a home for Himself within ourselves because He was looking for housing. So He made that home within ourselves because He wanted to be with us. So if you're taking time to be with Him more and more, more and more, more and more, then that is the beginning of a service to God.

What have I done yet to serve God, Father? So, it's still far away from serving His will. So, it's at best serving my will for being in presence with Him. That's it. For something very beautiful I heard today: God did not create a home for Himself within ourselves because He was looking for housing. So, He made that home within ourselves because He wanted to be with us. So, if you're taking time to be with Him more and more, more and more, more and more, then that is the beginning of a service to God. From there, everything else will move. We cannot follow God's will without first learning to be in His presence. So, that itself is our service to Him to begin with.

So, right now, most of us in the world may be unaware of His holy home in the center of our existence. So, once we are informed of that, most of us may not even have the faith to acknowledge that fact, or may take it too abstract and not literally. So, once our faith grows, our faith deepens, then we start to take this fact to be a literal thing: that within ourselves, the capital S Self, God has given Himself, His presence, a home. The Atma has a home within ourselves, and that home is our true refuge. So, if for the moment our service to God is to just spend time with Him, be with Him, be present to His presence, to love His presence, then that itself is a start, and everything else can be guided from there.

So, for now, don't judge what gets you there too much, you see, because the mind will also play that trick that you're only seeing whether you're leaving yourself alone and being with Him. Whatever serves that purpose is auspicious for the moment.

Also, Father, is 'not me' by default God? Or could there be 'not me' lost somewhere and God is still far? So, 'me' is only after belief in a thought construct. Where is the 'me', Father, if I'm lost in thoughts or, let's say, lost in watching TV? There's no 'me' there, but still God is not there. So, 'me' is only after believing into a thought construct; without that, there is no 'me'. It seems like there is just, in the emptiness, all these sensations which are appearing and disappearing. I cannot distinguish between this and that. I cannot distinguish between this perspective and that perspective. I can't say this is naturally a 'me' without my buying into some story about myself. So, that is the 'me'.

So, to get rid of or not get involved in the personhood is the step that we can take to allow God to do His work and to bring us to Atma Darshan, to bring us to a truer love, a truer place, you see. And therefore, we are so limited. Like if I say, 'Abide in God' or 'Remain in abidance,' for example, then what will we do? Our limit is only that we can try not to get identified. After that, the pulling, the withdrawal, the visiting the Holy Temple—all of that is for Him to do because we have no tools there. We've got attention and belief, but this process is beyond attention and belief. It is a sheerly graceful process. So, our job is—He's given us the tiniest part of the job, so we have to do that. The rest He's doing. Yes, but to be empty of the 'me' is not necessarily the fullness of our spirituality. It is the beginning step. To clean up the road, to clean up the temple for God is the first step, but for us, it's the only step because we can't do any of...

Hello, Father. Sorry I missed because of travel, but just catching up with Advaita on some of what has transpired in satsang about spending more time in the presence of God. A couple of conversations that came up were similar to what Amol asked. She was asking like TV, for example, where you're watching, you're kind of idle, but like you said, it's not necessarily being in God, but at least if you're not obsessed with the 'me,' that's the first step. In my day-to-day living, you know, whether I'm going to the gym or watching TV or just literally doing anything, because of the guidance that has been received here in the last two, three years, it's—sorry, I'm getting feedback, so I'm just going to switch this. I'm right behind the speaker. There is this automatic return to presence. Keep practicing, keep practicing. So, that seems to be happening by grace and not too much effort, although sometimes effort is required when I can see that happening.

So, I mean, I feel that's the best I can do, and I am not feeling like I'm not doing enough, yeah. But at the same time, I do know I can do more, right? That awareness is there. It's not like I've drawn a line in the sand; that's not the state of mind. It's just that there is a genuine feeling of satisfaction that with all the guidance that has been received, something beautiful is happening, and it feels like grace. And I just need to make sure I don't get lost again. And as long as I do that much effort, it'll be okay. That little bit of confidence, if you want to call it that, is there. Yeah, I just wanted to share that because I was chatting with Advaita, so I think that's what I communicated to her. I don't know if that's, you know, the right guidance from a parent in some way.

Yes, it sounds good. It sounds fine. That if you're being intuitive about that line, or the absence of that line, because that is where we get to tricky stages, no? That the impulse to do more could be like forcing a flower to open, but it could actually be an intuitive divine inspiration also. So, at this point, we have to see where that is coming from. Like the sages have told us, we must never neglect the divine inspiration; we must always act on it. But that distinction between the mental spiritual aspirant who wants to do more and more and more to get faster and faster, versus the one who is truly the holy teacher in our hearts—whether the inspiration is coming from there or not, that you must be open to exploring where it is coming from. And if it is coming from divine inspiration, then of course we must follow. If it is coming from a spiritual rushing, like the mental rushing and wanting to grasp faster, then we can let that go.

Same thing, Father, on like the gym is quite a difficult example because, you know, my prior self would go to the gym to look good or to—yeah, fundamentally, one aspect of it is health, but a large aspect of it is the appearance. And to change that has been a lot of work, even while being in the gym, like, 'Okay, what is really going on over here?' you know? And just returning to that thought without being too self-torturous either, that as long as I return to God, God will tell me and guide me back. And so, it's not 100% that the appearance doesn't matter; all I can say is that it's way less in mattering than it was three years ago. And just keep doing it. I don't know what else to do.

Yeah, it's perfectly fine. This is good, this is good. So, everything I've told you today, isn't it the best news? But somewhere Maya does its trick of making the best news into something that we make conceptual; we find a way to not rejoice, not celebrate. Yes, the spiritual path is tough, but it's still better than just taking yourself to be just a bundle of flesh and blood. Flesh keeps calling us back; that's the design of it. Maya is designed to do that. And the stories of all the sages are what? They all, somewhere or the other, Maya does trap them, and then they fall down, then they have to get up again, then they fall down again, then they have to get up again. And we are just tiny little ones trying to emulate the lives of these. So, these things will come and they go. We have to stay on the path.

This moment: God or me? Not me. Not me is all we can do for God. What is a life going to be made up of? On our deathbed, if we were to look back at our life, it is going to be made up of these tiny moments. And every moment now, because we are in satsang, we've been given a choice to focus on God or to focus on me. So, God, God, God. Now, focus which is out of the 'me'—don't we already get a gift? What is the gift that we get? You can't suffer. Already, most of humanity is looking for ways not to suffer. When we let go of that thought, we let go of the focus on the 'me,' you can't suffer. That already is a gift that we get. Then you love God, don't you get a hundred times love in return? So, every single step that we take towards Him, the gifts are given to us manyfold compared to what the world could do. In the world, you take one step, you may get one step in return, or you may not even get that. But with God, His blessings are much more.

Good. One of you sent me that Krishna Ji was going to give Sudama for his love for him—He was going to give him everything He could, then Rukmini Ji stopped Him. Okay, okay. So, He is that merciful. He is that loving. Imagine the most merciful, most loving human and multiply that by a million. So, there's never a point of despair or despondency. Turn towards Him at least and see. Then let's talk. We come to satsang. What I feel at least in satsang is nothing that money can ever buy. You could not buy this experience no matter how much money I spent. So, just the company of the Atma within, God's presence within, is priceless. And we have the privilege of saying that we can turn, and all we have to do is for us to turn. Isn't that such a privilege? Has anybody in the world given us that privilege? Very few, and that also not fully. Like with our mother, we may be able to say anytime you turn to her, she's available for it, but even she will say, 'No, no, right now I'm a bit busy cooking' or 'I'm a bit busy in my office work' or a bit busy with something. But God is the one who has given us the privilege to say, 'You can always turn to Me no matter what, no matter where you are.' We are so well loved.

I just sit a bit on the side. Father, I had another question related to just intuitive influences of, let's say, listening to a bhajan or looking at a photograph of any of the sages. Like, there are some hymns or bhajans that just work in terms of feeling presence and being immersed; some don't, some are almost jarring. And so, that's one phenomena. Even though they're all words being said in the praise of God, still the felt experience is very different. And like to Arvin's question, person to person, that variation may be there. Similarly, with all the sages on the wall here, when I first came to satsang, you know, maybe I just knew one face, but over two, three years, through reading and from hearing from you, the faces of the sages now have very different effects. A couple of them still don't have any effects, yeah. But there's no resistance or disrespect at all. In fact, if there's anything, there's a desire to learn more. So, it just intrigues me that why is it like that, and should I have any feeling about it? Or is it like—because sometimes you've said it in the past that even hearing the word 'God,' some people are uncomfortable, and perhaps that is a resistance. In that context, I'm asking that question: is this also something like that, or just nothing to worry about?

As long as some medium of music and bhajan is working, it's good enough. Some sages are working; that's good enough. Not to overthink it. Yes, not to overthink it. As long as the project is clear, as long as we feel that we have all the tools that we need to remain in our heart temple in that open and empty, in that quiet place, then we don't have to worry about anything else really. As long as we don't become close-minded about it, that's all. The second part, in the sense that if you say, 'Oh, this form of spirituality is never for me, I don't feel like it is for me,' then we are taking charge of the curriculum. And I'm seeing that at this age of almost fifty, God is making me love all those things which I said, 'No, not for me, no, I'm not for me.' And every day I'm discovering such treasures in spirituality, so many lovers of God which show me the way in all the paths, all the traditions. And I look back and I laugh and say that if somebody had told me twenty, twenty-five years ago that I'm going to be hearing this or learning about this one, I would just say, 'Just not possible.' So, pester your teeth.

Taking charge of the curriculum, and I'm seeing that at this age of almost fifty, God is making me love all those things which I said, "No, not for me. No, I'm not for me." And every day I'm discovering such treasures in spirituality, so many lovers of God which show me the way in all the paths, all the traditions. And I look back and I laugh and say that if somebody had told me twenty, twenty-five years ago that I'm going to be hearing this or learning about this one, I would just say, "Just not possible." So, pester your teacher if you feel like you don't have the tools to remain in that what we've been talking about. But once you have that, then leave yourself open for the curriculum of the Atma. The Atma which is showing us the path of knowledge and of love, and the Atma does it in such an inclusive, in such a beautiful way that as part of loving all our brothers and sisters, we especially fall in love with all the lovers of God.

So it doesn't mean that we have to jump into every pathway every day. You don't have to decide that for yourself. I see that in my case, the Atma has made a theme for the week or the month or the year and just keeps sending me, showing me what needs to be, what I need to be open to. And that is enriching my inner life in a very deep way. When we close ourselves up too much, then we may block our own enrichment in that way. But importantly, just make sure it's not coming from a place of like helter-skelter grabbing everything that you can get your hands on, more where you feel drawn—like whether you feel love, whether you feel joy, whether it is infectious what you're experiencing, what you're immersing yourself in.

So like Jesus said, "A tree is known by its fruits." So if you try something and the fruits are gratitude, stillness, love, compassion, kindness, and elevation, a clearing up of misunderstandings, an enlightening of a particular path, you see? So all of these are the fruits which you can count on. So rely—if it is not clear where it is coming from, then rely on the fruits. Ask me. Like every project, apart from being empty for the Atma to do its work, is to be close. You have to be close to that, no? Yeah, all of this is to slingshot you into that place. So that is the holiest fruit. If you hear a line of something said by a sage, many times you just have to close your eyes. So then you know that this one I must follow a little more and see. And all of it, all of it becomes a beautiful part.

So then there are so many pathways in which you can just allow Him to work on your heart. But all of it is for that, see? Without that, without His presence, without His love, without His light, it is not spirituality at all. It must lead to that. And that's also difficult to say, lead in what way? Sometimes just the tiniest nibbling and then stillness. Sometimes you have to read many pages and come to that. So all this is part of that ebbs and flows of this beautiful journey. So you must never become close-minded and you must never say that my path is the highest. That we can get into pride. All paths are God. God and His paths are not different. You may say that this resonates with me the most; that would be an honest thing to say. But because it resonates with you the most doesn't make it the highest. It maybe makes it the best for you for the moment.

Godless kind of things also resonate. Godless things also are forms of knowledge; they resonate sometimes. Somebody says something—give you an example, philosophy, Jung. He says, like if you're seeking something in the world, then what it evokes in you is something you have to integrate. That's why you're seeking it, that effect that it evokes. Yeah, so you can rely on the fruits of that. So if there's a particular thing which evokes excitement and disconnection and just grasping at the world, then that is not holy. It is not auspicious for you. If something—just looking at nature or looking at even traffic, we can't really see—evokes a sense of stillness, a sense of inner turning and inward movement, that is auspicious.

Somewhere I know, but I still get tempted.

Of course, all of us. That is the Maya. So instead of rationalizing, it is better to say, "Okay, I got tempted by this and I got stuck. I'm going to turn back now." Otherwise, to avoid that noticing, to avoid that sensing where it is coming from, we may just rationalize it. It is one thing for a sage to say that I see Krishna everywhere, and it is another thing for us to make that as an excuse to indulge in worldly Maya. So we have to just be true to ourselves because ultimately we know inside what is happening.

The rationalization you talk about, it's this that gets me. Is that it's being closed, being close-minded if I don't pursue it further, try to understand it more?

If it leads to heart, then pursue that. If by understanding you mean intellectual construct building, then not so worthwhile the use of time. To be okay with being close to that, admit it to myself that I am going to be close to it. You have to be close to Maya. Within Maya, God may plant some Easter eggs, so those we can grab. A teacher appears in Maya. The outer teacher initially appears in Maya so that we have to see what it does. Grab that.

Father, I've been feeling the urge to do a lot of some spiritual reading. So I picked up the Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna, which was amazing because it seems like he reached the pinnacle on all possible ways. He reached the summit in probably twenty different ways. And so very beautiful. And then also I heard the Heart Sutra, the Buddhist Heart Sutra, and there's a contemplation there which I just wanted to sort of share with you. So the whole Heart Sutra is on basically Nirguna Brahman and sort of putting you into the emptiness, complete emptiness, and everything dissolves into it. And then it comes to the end, it says the most powerful mantra, it says, "Gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha." So, you know, it has a very transcendental effect on the meditation. And I was trying to also just contemplate what does this mean? And at least what I felt was that we all can feel the presence and we can feel the body sensation. We can feel both, you know, the body sensation and the presence. And does this mean that it's just identification? So "gate paragate," that means you go from the default identification with the body sensation, you go past that, and past that is basically presence. And then you say, "Yeah, you know, I am that." I mean, basically, it's just a subtle shift from "I am the form" to "I am that which witnesses the form." Is that—I mean, this is what resonated with me, but I just wanted to play it with you and just ask you how you think about this.

So firstly, on Sri Ramakrishna, you definitely will not get any argument from me on that front. It's definitely—we are blessed that he came, he blessed us with his presence and his word. So definitely. In terms of scriptures like the Heart Sutra, I feel like the way to understand them is clear in the name itself. So we just have to—in terms of what you specifically said about transcending, it seems perfectly all right, but just be careful of understanding. That's all. The heart is flowering mostly. If you understand the flowering too much, then it obstructs the flowering. You can read also sometime from the gospels of Sri Ramakrishna, so beautiful. Yeah, everything. He lived the life of a Muslim for some time. He, like you said, practiced Tantra sometime. Great Kali, great Gyani, everything. His life is beyond compare, one of the greatest mystics ever.

Okay, we said we'll give priority to the hands. Also Clarissa had a hand up, I don't know if she's still here. Let's go to Devi.

Hello. Hello. Can you hear me well?

Yes, very well. Thank you. I just wanted to say hi and just see what comes. I don't know.

How has everything been for you?

It's hard to explain. It's better, like I feel more light, and it's still like a cycle. Like it's going sometimes like in a washing machine from time to time. It's going like everything is like, "Oh, it's confused again." But I can see many, many small things that give some hope and encouragement and just to keep going. Yeah.

But your face is telling a different story.

What story?

That there is a lot more peace and just love and just even a joy sometimes. Because what I see today is very different from the Devi who started coming to Satsang.

Yeah. I just still feel there's things to be cleared out and maybe I give too much attention to those things and that's why they seem bigger or I don't know. But yeah.

That's good. All of us have things to clear out, and it's important to work on those things, to notice those things, but to notice God's grace even more than that. So that the one who has helped us so much so far will also help us with all of these things.

Yeah. Sometimes it feels a bit like walking in the dark, you know? Like I really feel I have no idea what's happening and I just have to trust. And like sometimes I really feel I have no tools, but I know that my intention is—I feel deep in my heart that there is a true intention to be with God, to be true, and somehow it has to come. I don't know how. It feels like sometimes there is some frustration because it takes so long and there's still some suffering. But yeah. And yeah, very grateful for that song and yeah.

This frustration in my children I'm aware of because we can have this idea that it should be happening faster. But we have no way to determine the pace. Like what would be the best rate at which God reveals Himself in which way to us? Only He can actually say. Like we may say it is taking too much time, but actually it may be just a very short time it is taking. We don't really know. And what is a short time when it comes to finding God and being with God?

And also the mind always is linear. It thinks like it's going to be like this, but it can change any moment. Like things can totally dissolve. I saw that, like sometimes unexpectedly some grace comes and you're totally out of all the problems that you thought it's going to take forever. So yeah, thank you.

Very good. So keep growing in your patience, keep growing in your faith. And all this growth happens moment to moment when we surrender ourselves, when we let go of ourselves.

And I discover like sometimes it's really—it's actually so magic and spontaneous because Satsang can be anything. Like sometimes you think it has to be this serious spiritual thing, but even like meeting someone, like just someone on the street, you know, and being kind or this kind of things. They are really—because I had this serious like, "I have to like some practice" or... but everything you can use and every little thing, every little step, it feels like it can bring something much bigger than I think. It's this is a small thing, but actually it's not. Yeah, and it's beautiful. Very beautiful. I mean, what I'm saying is I don't need to separate life and Satsang. It's like everything is just...

That's what we were talking about this with Shanti earlier and some of the others also here in this Satsang, that how to tell whether I'm getting caught up in Maya or that this is just God's love which is reflecting in the outer world and how to embrace that in some way. So where should we say, "No, no, I'm going to go within," and where should we embrace? Our heart tells us, and also we know from the aftereffects.

Sorry to interrupt. I don't know if it got cut off for everyone, but I couldn't hear the last thing you said. My connection broke, sorry.

Yes, so I was just saying that how to tell whether something is Maya's enticement to trap us into the world appearance or something is God's love being shown to us in the outer world as a blessing from Him, as a reminder of God. We know from our heart which is guiding us, and also we know from what happens as a result of that encounter. We learn from that experience whether, like I was saying...

I don't know if it got cut off for everyone, but I couldn't hear the last thing you said. My connection broke, sorry. Yes, so I was just saying that how to tell whether something is Maya's enticement to trap us into the world appearance or something is God's love being shown to us in the outer world as a blessing from him, as a reminder of God? We know from our heart which is guiding us, and also we know from what happens as a result of that encounter. We learn from that experience. Whether, like I was saying, that sometimes reading a line from a sage brings you to the heart temple in the quietude in the most natural way, and sometimes you could be reading some news, for example, or some social media, and it gets us more and more caught up in the outer things and makes us believe that we are a body-mind as well, more and more. So from these things, we can tell how to distinguish between that. Is it before we come to a point where we can say that everything really truly that I see is God, is Krishna, is Jesus? Till then, we just have to rely on our heart to keep guiding us.

Yes, yes. I see like sometimes going too much in the world, but then also trying to be totally out of it. It's like a learning kind of. Yeah, very. I still ask for your blessing and yeah, for Grace to finish this job. Love, full blessings. Thank you.

Thank you. Clarissa had a hand up earlier. Still want to come or...

Yes, thank you that I can come. I just wanted to say that I feel such a strong pattern playing here which always pulls me into personhood. And it's so strong, playing with such a strong—I don't know if it is shame or if it is an attachment. It's difficult for me to look at this.

The voice was a bit breaking earlier where you said that there are some strong things like shame, etc., which are coming up for you, and then that prevents you from remaining with God? Or it's that there's also a pride and arrogance playing? And because of this, I don't know what to do then. I don't feel it in the moment; afterwards, I see that it was pride.

Yeah, yeah. So there is still this self-interest being very strongly...

Of course, in all of us, in all of us. So, what is your primary tool of sadhana?

I try that I can listen to your—follow the breath to presence every morning. And I would do the 'just sit' exercise from Mooji Baba. And I try to listen to satsang or to go to Zoom meetings because I feel that it's easier to be in presence with this holy community.

Yes. You could also add on something which you can use when you are engaging with people in life, because during those times you may find so much distraction that you lose your center in that way. So whether it is the prayer, or it is the inquiry, or it is to just be empty, open and empty—whatever resonates with you the most, try to be with that most of the time during the day. And that itself will help you in this process. Already you are doing your sadhana quite well, but just make that an anchor for you throughout the day so that you don't—because you say many times you get into this—so just inquire, or just take God's name, or just pray in some way, or just remind yourself to remain empty throughout the day. Be anchored in God's presence, and then all of these things don't vanish; they don't go 100% from any of us. But more and more, more and more, we deepen in this love for God.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Welcome. And then what may happen as you go along is that it may become seemingly spontaneous, where God's name is taken spontaneously, or it becomes like a heart prayer, or it becomes like a heart silence, a silent prayer in the heart. Then you will have a deeper sense of being anchored in the true place throughout the rest of your day as well, besides the times of your sadhana. Okay, let's go to Divan.

Thank you. I just feel the need to just come on, like just this current, like this current of beingness. Like I just felt to just ask for your blessings, you know. Somehow I feel like that's the only way in which I hear you, only in this like current of beingness, like this holy current, you know. Here, this current. And honestly, I really don't know where I am in all this, but I just somehow just feel that, feel embraced by God. And I feel that's the most important, although sometimes it's because something is switching over and I really don't know what I'm made of, you know.

On this path to dissolution, all of these things happen with us where we find this holy current within ourselves. Then that holy current gives us so many gifts. If we are able to remain in God's presence and not make it about ourself in any way, so many beautiful gifts. And then you feel this sweet love, sweet wound in our heart of His love, Her love, which is so beyond any material experience and so difficult to describe. It's an overwhelming experience of love which at some level feels like a stabbing almost, but very sweet stabbing. How to see these things? So just trust your path, trust the guidance from the spirit within. Many times you will feel some confusion coming, some frustration coming; you just have to go through those periods of time because in those times, if we don't rely solely on God's grace, if we don't surrender ourselves more and more and more, then Maya uses those times as opportunities to pull us out of this, as impossible as it may seem. So just allow this process to unfold and be willing for anything to happen as long as you are loved by Him, as long as His holiness is in your heart. Allow whatever He wants to unfold to unfold. So then that holy merging is not impeded by any self-concern whatsoever. The ways of His grace are not intelligible to the human intellect. My full blessings, my full love. Stay here in your holy place. Okay, let's take the last question and then my wife reminded me that I have a family event to go to, or an event to go. Let's go to Lori.

Hello Father. I don't have a question. I just wanted to say that I love you so so so so much. And that of course I've been experiencing a lot of resistance and this mind and whatever. And sometimes I want to listen to satsang and I feel like I don't want to, but still I'm here. And it's like there is this resistance, but I don't want to make my life around this, but around my love for you and Guru Ji and God. And I, although I don't experience every day that this distance between you and me is only an illusion, deep in my heart I know that this is only an illusion because when I'm in my heart I feel you and I feel your love. And I love you so so so much and I'm so grateful. And sometimes these problems or these preoccupations come and I'm involved in this, but then I remember that God exists.

You can come for lunch, all right? You can come for lunch. Yes, we are so blessed because we are so blessed.

And thank you, thank you very much Father. I love you so much.

I love you very much as well. Your full family is very dear to me. All my love, all my blessings to the little one as well. You're in my heart. I see you. I know that you often don't come up, but I see you almost every time you're here, so fully in my heart. My full blessings, and may you merge more and more into this holy love in your heart. May God's grace bless you and all of you in a beautiful way. Very happy, very happy to see you. Your direction is very, very good. I'm very happy. You shine, shine flower so much in His love and His life. Bless, bless you. Thank you. I'm going to have to run actually, but maybe what the Sangha can do is they can sing the Hanuman Chalisa and this computer can be here for some time. And by the time I'm ready to leave, I'll just pick it up. And if you want to read the Ramacharitmanas, feel free to do that. And one of you can take the computer home with you and I can take it from you later when I come back, whatever you like.