Tend to the Flame of God in Your Heart - 26th April 2024

So I just read that Anandamayi Ma said it is the highest responsibility in this human life to come to the recognition of God. And she said that only that makes us human anyway. It is only the business of that that makes us human anyway. So whatever keeps your focus on God, whatever keeps your focus on self-recognition, realization, that is the true purpose of life, the true meaning of life. Everything else is a play of distraction which is going to die along with this world, along with this body. So within yourself, in your heart, there is the temple of God. You are let into this temple only by His Will and Grace, but as long as it seems like I can go and wait at the door of His temple, I must do that. Please hear all this with the right amount of metaphor because it's barely metaphorical. You have to use at least that much metaphor to give you a sense of what is going on.

So what have we said already? We've said that this world is just an appearance. It is Maya. It is coming and going. It is not your reality. What is within you is a greater reality. Now we are looking at what do we discover when we really allow ourselves to look within ourselves? So then we come to a sense of love, a sense of holiness within ourselves, which is like the perfume of the temple calling us in. The perfume of the presence of God is calling you inside. Many may not be able to immediately say, 'Yes, I found His presence, it revealed itself to me, He revealed Himself to me.' But those who are sincerely not grasping at the world now and really looking for the truth within themselves will at least come to this perfume which is indescribable in its love and its holiness. So follow the scent of this calling from your heart because these are the sounds of the temple bells which are ringing in God's presence, but they are calling you back home into the heart.

All the tools that have been given to you in satsang, in fact in all spirituality, are so that you can come to this point where wordlessly you can remain on the trail of God, on the trail of the presence of God. In this way, are you able to follow so far? If I lost someone, I'm happy to recap because I know that the mind comes and resists exactly in these points. So maybe just a quick recap. So we've all heard about how this world of appearances is Maya. Why is it called Maya? Because it is actually not real, but it seems real. It is the realm of appearances which is ephemeral; it shows up and then it disappears. So the fundamental principle of Advaita Vedanta is that that which comes and goes is not real, and therefore this Maya is not real.

So then we must conclude that if this realm of appearances that appear to me through my perceptions is not real, there must be a different way or a different place to look to find that which is real. So we may inquire, we may surrender, we may love God with all our might, we may be in servitude to God, we may pray and chant His name. So all of these then become the pathways to go within ourselves to try and fulfill for ourselves the promise which the sages are making to us saying that God can be found within yourself. And this is true universally for everybody. So to follow the footsteps of those great sages, we then take that which resonates the most with us based on our temperament, based on our life situation—whether it is inquiry, whether it is Bhakti, whether it is both, whether it is any spiritual practice which allows us to remain unconcerned with the world at least for some time. Because if you're going to be concerned with the world all of the time, then this project is not going to happen, you see? In God's Grace everything can happen, but most likely it's not going to happen.

So all of these tools work in both ways. One is to make us unattached, ungrasping of the world outside, and also bringing us deeper into our heart, which is our spiritual center. And our mind cannot fathom what is happening to us. Our body doesn't necessarily convey what our inner state is. Most likely our friends and relatives on the outside may not even understand what is unfolding within ourselves. So we also talked about how when somebody wants to become a devotee, wants to become a sadhaka, it is not as if the world play which is narrated by the mind is going to just give up and say, 'Oh, this one, leave them alone, they're interested in God now, let's leave them alone.' In fact, what happens is that the mind takes it as a challenge and says, 'I'm not going to let this one go. So what am I going to give to her? What messages, signals am I sending to them in their mind so that they can continue to be distracted with this Maya instead of look within themselves?'

So we must be prepared for that, and that is why I keep saying that it's not going to be easy to transcend this world appearance and live in the temple of God. But just because it is not easy doesn't make it less important. It is the only thing that is important in this human life. So whether we are praying, whether we are doing whatever spiritual practice—inquiry, meditation, prayer, pranayama, Hatha Yoga, whatever you may be doing—it is meant to do two things, which is to make us unconcerned with the world play. And all of you would have also noticed that, hopefully, that many of you may have resisted coming to satsang today and said, 'No, no, maybe I'll just relax at home, maybe I'm a bit tired,' or the world seemed more important. But once you're here in the satsang space, then you feel that, 'Oh, I'm happier that I came.' Maya works to prevent us coming deeper into our own light within in every possible way, and this is just an example of that.

Then we come to a point where our prayer, our inquiry, starts to become more and more wordless. But you must not rush into these things. Be true to your heart. Nobody else's judgments really matter. What they think of you doesn't really matter. So be true to yourselves and don't rush into what I'm saying or to claim what I'm saying. It is only meant to inspire you when you are frustrated, give you a sense of the glory within so that you continue in this endeavor. So wordlessly you may be just given a sense of comfort, a sense of reassurance, a sense of love from within your heart. So you must use that as the homing signal to dive deeper and deeper inside. Where is it coming from? What is its source? Because like I said, this is like the incense which is burning in the temple pulling you into God's presence. This is like the bells of the temple which you're hearing calling you back home.

So you must follow these intuitive signals more than you follow things of the world now. And here wordlessly we must wait, open and empty. Empty of all defense and resistance, empty of all pride and knowledge, like humble children at the gate of God's home waiting to be in His presence. So this, based on the tradition, you may call being open and empty, or this you may call being in a wordless prayer. But we must come to this point and remain here in our heart as much as we can. Don't leave this holy place within yourselves because nothing in the world cannot be resolved by God's light. If your attention and focus is only upon Him, then you don't have to worry about the things of the world. So then you don't have to worry about the things of the world and you can just focus on Him. And His power, His light, His presence is the one that is running this universe anyway. Where does light come from? Where does sound come from? Where does gravity come from? Where does magnetism come from? All of these things arise only from that highest Being. So if you are focused on Him, you never have to be concerned about how things will happen in the outer realm. So I reassure you that come what may, you—

World, so then you don't have to worry about the things of the world and you can just focus on Him. And His power, His light, His presence is the one that is running this universe anyway. Where does light come from? Where does sound come from? Where does gravity come from? Where does magnetism come from? All of these things arise only from that highest being. So if you are focused on Him, you never have to be concerned about how things will happen in the outer realm. So I reassure you that come what may, you can remain in that way and He will move you, He will guide you as to how to deal with that which is seemingly so important on the outer, where actually it is not important at all.

So just before we go to questions, I hope this part is clear: that we are coming to this point where we remain effortlessly, silently at the door of His temple using our prayer, using our inquiry, using the pointers from satsang, but with the humility of a baby. In this way, then we can be in a constant inquiry, we can be in a constant open and empty, and we can be in an unceasing prayer. It's all the same at this point. When we come to this point, it's all the same. This is the most intuitive inquiry you can make. To remain like this in the presence of the Satguru within, the most important inquiry is happening, the true remaining empty for God is happening, and the highest prayer to God is happening.

When we learn to remain like this, then we have truly started our spiritual journey. The rest of it has only been preparation for us to be able to remain like this. And what will happen then is that His light, His flame, will become more and more apparent to you in your heart. It's an unperceivable light which is known only intuitively. It may seem like your insides are lit up in this light, but you cannot see it as the light of a bulb. It is a light unlike which you ever encounter, and this reveals itself to us. This is the presence of the Atma itself because it's not an inert light; it's not just a light-light. It is the great teacher, it is the great rejuvenator, it is the most loving parent. Everything is contained in this. It is the antidote to human suffering.

So then what will happen is that there will be times where you seem so connected to this in your heart, where it seems so true and alive. Every word that you're hearing in satsang today may seem so true for some of you, and it may seem so far-fetched for some of you, you see? And that is dependent on the seeming connection or disconnection you're feeling with your presence, with the sense 'I am' within yourself, God's presence, the Holy Spirit within. So this is what those who are truly looking for the truth, those who are truly looking for God, must not allow themselves to remain in this situation of disconnection for any amount of time. As soon as you notice it, pick up your sadhana, pick up your prayer, your inquiry, your whatever practice to return to His light, to His holy flame of love in your heart.

So then what is the way to live where this light, where this love is deepening more and more and the disconnection seems less and less? It tells you which steps to take, which to not take. Everything becomes subtle and soft within yourself, and you're not to use the mind. The mind will seem like a sledgehammer versus this holy light within ourselves. So to live in this way is to lead the spiritual life where we will falter over and over again. We will fall, we will get disconnected, but we will return. We will get back up again and we will learn to be humble because every time we fall, it is because of our pride. So the lesson of humility will be taught to us over and over again.

And we learn to remain in this most beautiful presence. Then as you go along, you will notice that it is not you and the presence; it is your very presence, but not you as the person that you imagined yourself to be. But your unity with God, your oneness with God becomes apparent. And then at some point you recognize that you are that absolute reality, the unchanging awareness, the eternal witnessing which is aware even of this presence of consciousness of God within yourself. And you are that Nirguna Brahman, that absolute name of God. And at that point, the distinction between God-realization and self-realization is no longer true. It is one and the same.

But remember that even after that, the tiny possibility of taking yourself to be someone or something again still remains, and that can resurrect itself into a full-blown spiritual ego. And that is why whatever you can take yourself to be must always be a humble servant of God and not somebody who can then say that 'I am Nirguna Brahman itself' because you are 'I am that,' but the one that can claim that is not that. So that must be just the words that we convey of the revelation that we are having about ourselves and never a claim that we are making about ourselves, because the claimant must be kept in the box of servitude and obedience and love of God. Otherwise, the ego that you will encounter for yourself, you will play as if you are there, will cause much more trouble than even the usual worldly ego. So the spiritual ego making a claim on spiritual self-knowledge which is beyond the world will cause much more trouble than any other form of ego there is.

So this in essence is the work, is the spiritual work that we are meant to do. So what is my role in all of this? I'm just the tourist guide for this temple. The true priest of the temple, the true father of the temple, the true teacher is within yourself. Just stay with him provisionally because you seem to be wandering in the world. This tourist guide has to give you some sense of what goes on in the temple so that you can be attracted to come. But there, when you learn to live there, then the true teacher, God's presence, the Atma within, holds our hand and guides us at every step.

And I do realize that almost every day I tell you about the same thing in a different way, but I hope you all are getting the sense that it's all pointing in that, to your heart, in the same place, you see? The thing is that it is tough. It is tough for everyone and I'm not doubting that at all. But if what was on offer was like a conceptual belief in God for which we surrender and we say that just for the concept or the notion of God we let go... but in satsang what you're finding is the possibility of experiencing a reality of God, of truly living allied in His presence and to be guided by Him now. Like I said, it is never going to be, it has never been for anyone where Maya said, 'Yes, yes, you see, you are for God and you must fully dedicate yourself.' Maya will pull all of us in.

But as far as I'm concerned, everyone, I wish there was a way in which everyone could see the reality of this, of the living light of God's presence, which is the only true thing to strive for in this human existence, the only reality worth chasing. And it's not just like a notional idea; it's a living experience which cannot be devalued or put down. See, everything else is emotional and you can debate and say which what is better and what is not, but once you encounter the Atma within and it's a living being within yourself, then you just want that everyone starts to find this way of life and dedicates themselves to this discovery, to this finding. And it can seem like either a suffering or a punishment for the other, or it can seem like Grace. And I'm sure we all go through phases where it seems like one or the other, but in my eyes, to have the opportunity to meet God is the greatest Grace. Okay, let's go to Friday satsang online. So let's go to Kisha.

Hi, I am okay. I'm just going to speak. I've had like kind of a three-day mind attack happening, so like just so much anger in the body. And I've been praying, I have been praying and doing inquiry, Father, I really have. And when it happens, like, I do offer it to the Lord, you know, and I say, 'Lord, like this is happening, look at, please see this.' And I pray to Lord Jesus, like I say, 'Please heal me of these sins,' you know, and show them, like I'm not hiding them, they're very much there. And I'm just like, what am I doing? I'm like, what am I doing? Do I even really, like, do I even know God? Is like everything I've been saying about God like not real? Like maybe I'm a fraud. And even when I speak about God to you, there's doubt afterwards and I'm like, 'No, that was stupid. Why'd you say that? So stupid, like you don't even know.' I'm just like, what am I doing? I'm not living in God and I'm not, I'm not serving Him. There's no love. Like my life is so lame. I'm not serving Him. I don't know what to do.

I'm like, maybe if I get baptized it'll be better. Like there's this idea that if I was really living in God, then I could like speak with people and touch people's hearts or inspire them, like maybe like you do and like Mooji does and like Guruji does. And like, or I don't even care about that actually, but I don't know what I'm saying, it's stupid. But I just, and I still, it still gets in the way of like these jealousies, you know? Like I want to be special and important to somebody I love and admire. And it doesn't, it doesn't have to be from satsang. I don't need love from the world or satsang or anything, it's nice, but it's mainly from like my teachers like you and Guruji, you know? I'm like, I want to be loved and stuff, and I do, and that still gets in the way. But when God's alive, it doesn't matter, you know? Yeah, when God's alive, it's like fine because you guys are included in that. But I just don't know what the heck I'm doing. I just feel like I'm just like not doing it, whatever it is. I'm not living the life, I'm not living God. Maybe I have Maya, I don't know anymore, and I don't want to hide these things.

So let's try and simplify a bit. So what what are we learning? We are learning that there are basically two ways to live. One way to live is to live in Maya, which is to take the world of appearances to be true, and the other way to live is to take God to be true, you see? So this question is good. When you say, 'What the heck am I doing?' it's not a bad question, but your options should be limited to these two: either you're taking the false to be true or you're taking the truth to be true, is it? So if you're taking the false to be true, then what is missing? Are the tools missing in terms of how to return to the truth? No.

The truth, if I may just say a little bit more, so I don't feel like the tools are missing. What happens for us is that we want to make the truths come true in the false, and then that trap nobody can ever resolve, you see? So we want to have evidence of the truth in the false. We want to find something in the world of the false which says that to be true and truthful is better, you see? But usually it doesn't work like that. And if it does happen like that, it usually takes a long time before you get there. Initially, most seekers of the truth have to go through a long period of Maya fighting you with all its might, the mind fighting you with all its might to convince you that truth can be true only if it is true in the world of Maya, in the realm of appearances, you see?

So it is not going to be easy, like I keep saying, but you have to dedicate your focus on God within your heart and you have the tools to do it. Where you're getting stuck is that you're looking for some external sort of proof or compelling evidence of the truthfulness of your life. Because when the mind comes and tells you, 'Are you even really in satsang? Are you even really coming to God? What do you have to show for it?' you see? So it can bully you like that and say, 'What? Prove it. Where are your disciples? Where are all those people that are coming to God's light because of you?' It pushes us like that, you see? And then we say, 'Maybe am I really coming to God?' would be the evidence if Ananta said that Kisha is one of his best students, if Guruji said, 'I really want her to be in Sahaja and in my retreat all the time.' We are looking for some sort of evidence to say that, 'Oh, I'm really progressing on this path,' you see? But mostly in this spiritual path, we have to just...

Where are your disciples? Where are all those people that are coming to God's light because of you? So it pushes us like that, you see. And then we say, 'Maybe am I really coming to God?' What would be the evidence? If Ananta said that so-and-she is one of his best students, if Guruji said, 'Um, I really want her to be in Sahaja and in my retreat all the time.' We are looking for some sort of evidence to say that, 'Oh, I'm really progressing on this path,' you see. But mostly in this spiritual path, we have to just get reassured from within ourselves. Yeah, I never had the comfort of living fully in an ashram with the teacher who could constantly hand-hold me and say, 'You're doing well, keep going. You're doing well, keep going.' That literally never happened in this.

You had Father, you have Guruji though, of course.

But not in that way where I was living. Like, the maximum times that I would spend would be maybe ten days in Rishikesh, ten days in Tiruvannamalai, then going every weekend. But you know he loves you, like you have a personal relationship with him and you can email him and you know he's always loving you. You know you have that reassurance. I don't feel like any of you children don't have that in the satsang. But the main point which I'm trying to convey to you is that search for reassurance and comfort in your heart, because that is where the true Satguru lives. His presence heals us of everything, shows us what is true, what is right, what is alive. And don't lose faith when the mind pushes, you see. And don't push it back to the external world again saying, 'Uh, but this one had it better' or 'That one has it worse,' you see. Never compare yourself, because God has made no two alike. To compare and to judge and say others have it better than me is to basically question God's judgment for us and what He has given us in His full love and mercy, saying that this is absolutely the right life for you to lead for you to be free.

Yeah, we don't realize because we are in that mind attack at the moment, or we tantrum in that moment, that in our questioning, in our complaining, we are basically questioning God's recipe for our life. Yeah, we must not do that. We must look for things which are such beautiful gifts that God has given us and so many of our brothers and sisters don't have them, and value them with all your mind. That you have the chance to be able to say also that you can be in God's presence, but the mind is attacking you for three days so you are not being so much in His presence—that you have been and you can be in God's presence itself. How many people in the world can say that? 'But I forget it, it feels like I never even met Him when I'm here, like it never even happened.' That is the nature of Maya. I've told you often that when God doesn't seem real, it just seems like an idea and the 'me' and the world seems real, then know that you are in Maya and you must return to God, you see.

And I don't really feel like you could not return if you really wanted that in this moment. Like, I feel like this return to God, you can. Now you'll be of course a bit shy to admit it because then it seems a bit strange to say, 'But for three days I tried and it didn't happen,' and you were just saying 'click click' and it's really possible, you see. It's really possible. It's really possible. And when it's not seeming possible, we cannot give up and say, 'Okay, Mr. Mind, you got me.' We must try harder. We must use every tool. We must pray deeply till we feel that life, till we see the light, the flame alive in our heart again.

I know, Father. I know. I hear you. I try. I feel like I'm trying, like I'm doing the things, and even with the anger there, I'm doing it. Like I'm praying and, you know, sitting and meditating and praying and praying, and it's still like that vibration is there. And yes, I know it's not enough. I know it's not enough.

Just observe that and see that when God's vibration is there, when His light, His flame is there, how much room is left for the rest of it, for the grievances and the ideas? How much space is there?

Well, infinite space for it, but yes. But when God's presence is being felt, everything else seems like it's fine. Yeah, it's wisps.

Yes, exactly. Um, yeah, we must. It's difficult, and I'm again saying I'm not telling you it's easy and so easy you can always easily do it. It is difficult, but it is very worth it. Just like we tell our children sometimes that to raise children, to bring up children is very difficult, but it's completely worth it. This is that multiplied by infinity, where it can seem like we just go with selfishness, go with pride, go with me, me, me, you see. 'What is this God business? Does it even work? Is it really happening? Am I even cut out for this?' All this doubt will come. But if you can remember one thing, just remember that your job is just to tend to His flame in your heart. And if you're not tending to His flame in your heart, then no other job is worthwhile. So first is, when you feel disconnected, then we must return to His light and we must wait till His light blesses us. And once His light is there, then just tend to that light. Nothing else is your job. Everything else in the world will take care of itself. Yeah, including this body and what it needs to do, what work needs to happen through it, all of that will happen.

I feel I try. I feel like I'm trying, Father.

That you're trying, again I'm saying that you are trying. It's not easy. Maya is very compelling. She pulls us in, she makes us believe that these things on the outside are true, it is more important to focus on them than God. We experience that sense of disconnection; all of us go through it. And the only thing we can do is get back up again and try again.

It doesn't always, even in the trying, it feels like it doesn't always change what's happening. There's no guarantee like that.

Yeah, but what else can we do? What is option two? Suffer for eternity? So that is not a good option anyway.

Yeah, to try. Yeah, that's true. That's not a good option. Yeah, I guess that makes sense. But it's not even an exaggeration what you said.

No, not at all. That's why it's funny. It is exactly that. All the great sages—Kabir Ji, Nanak—so many of them have told us, 'Don't waste this life. Don't waste this human opportunity. You will not keep getting it again and again and again,' you see. And I've looked and I've really tried to find reasons why they could be lying to us, and I haven't found a single reason why they could be lying to us, you see. So they've told us that we must not lose this chance, we must not lose this opportunity. Everything else is not that important. For you to come to God is the most important.

Yeah, I guess it's suffer for eternity or suffer temporarily is the option.

Exactly. Many times also the mind plays these very intricate games where it says, 'Oh, you can't be with God right now, you're really going through something.' You know, that's fair. And it is the reason why you're going through that. And it tells you, 'No, no, actually you can take it easy. You don't have to go to God today. You know, you're going to be so busy, so today you can just be like this. Don't worry, tomorrow God is there, He's not going anywhere.' So day after day, our whole life can go in this way.

But it tricks you because it will still be praying and doing all the things, right?

Yes, right. Well, yes. So to pray even with our lips is very beautiful, so we are not devaluing that. But for those of us who can live in the presence of God, for them I would say that we can't even say it is prayer unless we are living in His light. Yeah, so may those prayers lead us deeper to the truer prayer, which is to be in His presence in our heart. So another way to contemplate this is to say, 'Okay, we are trying, so then what is wrong? Why is it not happening?'

Well, that's my question.

So if you contemplate that, what could be the various options with which we can say, 'Okay, I am really trying, but His flame is not palpable, His presence is not apparent'? So that could be because...

Yeah, because it's still like the 'me'. It's like still a victim of me trying.

First let's put the blame outside. Let's first put the blame outside. So that could be because He has forgotten us? Is it possible that He is not merciful? Which is not possible. Yes, He is not loving? Which is not possible. The mind will tell us all of this. Even though it may not be saying all these things in words, it is trying to create a doubt in you about His glory, about who He is. Yeah, so it uses every excuse to say, 'But I am trying,' you see. But inside that is a lamentation saying, 'I am trying, He is not being nice to me.' It can never be true. He knows perfectly well what is good and what is not, what to do and what not.

I just wish He would remove all of that though, you know, remove...

But who knows better? That my wish, can it compare to His way? Where what is the wish? Like if a grain of sand said, 'Oh, I wish the sun doesn't rise today, it comes tomorrow, I want to sleep a bit more.' What? It's completely irrelevant what the grain of sand feels like what the sun should do. The same, what our tiny non-existent identity wishes how God would be is completely irrelevant to God. See, like I said last time, I've said this a few times, that some scientist physicists have said that the universe has no obligation to make sense to us. Is it so? If the universe, which is nothing but a tiny creation of God, has no obligation to make sense to us, then what? Does God have an obligation to make sense to us? So when we say, 'I wish it was like that,' we are already saying that I can know what is better, what is more sensible than the way He's running this life or this universe. So if He keeps that... we spoke about the Book of Job one time.

I love the Book of Job. It's been on my mind lately too.

Yeah, it's a story about how even the most faithful, the most trusting one can have a moment or two of complaining and lamentation, but they return to the faith. But the Maya is so compelling that even the most faithful can doubt for a few moments.

Yeah, I'm not Job.

Well, none of us are, but we have... that's the inspiration that we have to learn from.

Yeah, I just... okay, I don't know. I don't know why He keeps some of this conditioning there.

Why He keeps... yeah, we can never know. We can never know. Yeah, it would be just a head would explode or something. Yeah. So to be clear, I don't want devotees too, I don't want disciples, to be clear. It was not about that. It was more about like living in the love. The love's not there all the time. That's if you want disciples because you want to increase the family of the discipleship of the Atma within, the Holy Spirit within, and if that longing is coming from your heart, it's completely fine as long as you are not getting caught up in any sort of self-elevation. Yeah, of course that is completely fine.

But that never really crosses my mind. It's to be clear, it's more about living in the love is not always present. Like I'm, like you said, I'm looking for a proof that God is there in the external, like what you said. And the love's not always present. Love for God.

Yeah, so He's not putting it there. Yes, no. So one good thing is, one thing I noticed about myself also is sometimes His presence is so full of love, yeah, that you know, I just feel like when I go within my prayer then I feel like just invoking that love. But that is a mistake. We must always invoke Him no matter what the byproduct, and then the love will come. Okay? Yes. Yeah, in the sense that once you've tasted the love within—like you meditated or prayed, you inquired and you have that sense inside, some sweetness is there—the next time when you go in your prayer, then it sort of becomes an expectation. Then you're just looking for that sweetness and you've forgotten to look for God. See these tiny, tiny tricks of subtle notice, you see, unless we keep it always about God.

Mistake we must always invoke him no matter what the byproduct and then the love will come, okay? Yes, yeah. In the sense that once you tasted the love within—like you meditated or prayed, you inquired and you have that sense inside, some sweetness is there—the next time when you go in your prayer, then it sort of becomes an expectation. Then you're just looking for that sweetness and you've forgotten to look for God. See these tiny, tiny tricks of certain notice, you see? Unless we keep it always about God, even the love will vanish. So, not getting... so you pray to God, suppose you're doing the ads or you're inquiring, you're doing the invitation, whatever you're doing, and sometimes you feel something—joy, some love, some peace in your heart—and you feel that this is so beautiful. Thank you, thank you, it's so nice. It's a sign of presence, yes. So very good. So now next time you come to meditate, you're just, whether you're saying it like that or not, you're just like, 'Okay, where is the love? Where is the sweetness?' and you didn't even remember God once. So then that can become a trap. So spiritual experiences can become traps. So eyes always have to be upon him and we have to trust that he's solving everything, he's fixing everything. That's right.

I see it's like, yeah, I see that like taking the byproducts to be God or the proof of the presence of God is the love. But where is the love? It's not important. Your question should be: where is God? Yeah, is he... yeah, yeah.

So God doesn't want you to get attached to only his gifts. Be completely focused and surrendered to him and then his gifts will come. Yeah, I heard that if the gifts become benchmarks, if the gifts become the... we judge ourselves and we judge others around us, then the mind is subtly creeping in and selling us some stories. And these are very compelling stories because it is talking about the love that we felt in the presence of God. Yeah, see this is why Kabir Ji says Maya is the greatest con artist. He says that even in the devotion of the devotee, it can hide. In the lotus feet of Vishnu, Maya can hide. So everywhere in the subtle ways. So very quickly we forget to focus on God and we say, 'Ah, where is the love? Why has he taken it away?' like that. Yeah, yeah. So don't chase the byproducts, chase the source, chase the Holy One. Yeah, okay. Thank you.

Let's go to Kay. Hello, Father.

Hello, hello.

This has been a bit of a rollercoaster, yeah. Landing in the right place, I guess. Um, and it's, I guess it's his grace that it's been... in the first part of the Satsang what I could hear is the word 'parent'. Yeah, and it's one of the things that I want to expose and I want to seek your guidance as well. Maybe it comes to my attention and it's something that Guruji is trying to put into my attention and I'm avoiding in a way, and I don't have a good understanding of what he's pointing to. So maybe what has come to my attention these days is that I'm not giving God 100% of my attention under this excuse of being a mother. And also maybe that there is an attachment that my children follow this path of truth. I probably just chopped Gin about an hour ago, the extent I chopped him with all my love. Like I could feel love in my heart and I didn't... chopped, chopped... I didn't... I was not angry or I didn't feel any... I felt sad for someone who had this recognition in his heart maybe a while back to not to feel attracted to him anymore.

So recognition, who had like awakening? Yeah, and then what happened? And not to feel attracted to him anymore? No, I'm so confused. You chopped Gin about this?

I chopped Gin. I chopped him because I see his... and I don't know if chopping is the right word, but we had this discussion about him not being interested in Satsang anymore.

He admitted that? So you gently prodded him to be more in Satsang?

I didn't even prod him to be more in Satsang. There is some sort of acceptance that maybe he's not interested and it's not the right... not even... I don't think there is time, the right time. I think there is always the right time for that. It's more like he, after our discussion, he was afraid for something that I probably said to him. He was afraid that I wouldn't love him if he's not following God and...

So can I ask you something? Yeah, which is just remind me, what is the pathway to God that you're using the most? Are you trying to be empty all the time or are you trying to pray all the time?

I'm trying to be empty and I use prayer to become empty.

So you're praying all the time to be empty for God?

When I'm not trying to be empty through Guruji's pointing, I am praying and I'm doing this. No, I'm not doing this 100% of the time.

So between being empty, open and empty, and on the other times where it doesn't seem natural to pray to come to this emptiness, where do you find the time to think of the other things?

This is why I said I'm not doing it 100%.

If you were to do it 100%, do you feel that something would be lacking or missing? Like all these questions would go unanswered, your parenting would not be good? What do you feel would happen?

I think it would be much better.

Would be better, yeah. So why don't you give that a try?

I think I'm also trying, yes, in a way.

So but when you notice yourself spending time on things which are best handled by God, then good to just return to God. In the two columns of responsibilities, what have you put for yourself and what have you put for God?

I think I put some things that belong to him in my patch.

And does that make us suffer or does that make us happier?

I think it makes me... but not us maybe more... I think with pride, you say pride that brings suffering.

So can we commit then that from this moment, from now on, we will try harder to stay with God's light and to keep his flame alive in our heart?

I choose this, I commit to this. Very, very... can I ask you something? Okay, after the stay with the commitment and then ask it.

I tried to pray while playing with Gin a game, and that was not successful at all. And I even told him, 'I'm trying to pray.'

Yes, so it depends. We actually had a few Satsangs where I clarified for everyone based on the focus and attention that we have available what prayer could be, and someone can share some of that with you as well to remind you that it is not that you're talking to your children and full attention and focus with them and then you're also trying to pray the full ads and, you know, just confusing ourselves. You come to a point where you learn to remain in his presence with a few reminders of the words of prayer, and then you are fully in your parenting while remaining in his presence. So you're praying wordlessly, unceasingly, you see? But it takes all these things, all these gifts are given to those who are committing to him constantly in the times where they are not focused on these important activities like parenting. You see what I'm saying? That if you are praying full-heartedly with 100%, then you will find it easy even while parenting to remain in God's presence even though your lips may not be speaking the words of the prayer.

My head is clinging onto something which I'm not sure what it is.

Your head is clinging on something, you don't cling to your head. Yeah, then thank you. So remember the commitment you made and I'm very happy if you try with everything that you have to light the flame of God's light in your heart and to stay with it.

You mentioned earlier in the Satsang that there is some sort of little caution to these activities to none, but I'm still doing them out of some sort of maybe misunderstanding of parenting or I don't know.

Okay, I feel just rest for some time and try to pray because you seem slightly disoriented today. So you can talk, we can talk on Monday or Wednesday whenever we need. Don't trouble yourself more. Just pray, pray, inquire, stay with Guruji's pointings, remain empty and just get some rest. Thank you, thank you. Okay, very good. Let's go to Ati. Hello, hello. Right, dear, something seems to be shining through. Very good, very good.

I don't know, when I raised my hand I almost like... it was a long time ago, I felt like I'm gonna faint or something and it's like everything and now nothing.

Yeah, but something is reflecting like a causeless joy in your demeanor, so I'm very happy, very happy to see that. So today in Satsang I mentioned many times the flame of God in our heart and that is the Atma Jyoti, the light of God, the flame of God. So very good. So keep that shining in your heart, keep that alive. Remain in your emptiness, remain in your openness. Full love, full blessings. God bless you.

Bless you too.

Very good, very good. Sorry, so let's go to Paula.

I can't hear you so well, my dear. Can you hear me now? It's a bit better, maybe even closer if that's possible. Okay, this mic I think it's not working well. Okay, thank you Father, thank you. I'm very grateful to be here with you. I feel this lately, being here in Satsang with you, it's like the best moments during the week. It's the most meaningful and profound and joyful time.

Bless you, bless you. And may you keep at it. Like I'm meeting some of you and I can tell that you're really, really, really putting God first. So I'm happy, keep at it, keep deepening in his love and his presence.

Yes, Father. I see it's very clear what you say, that lately it's clear that the thing is almost like just binary. It's just God or me. It is like that. And this that you say, that to some like to sacrifice this 'I want'... no, yes, yes. And to see that there is one thing everywhere, like in the smallest things there is an 'I want this' and... yes. I just pray, I just pray for that to be here more clear and more cleared.

Very good, very good. Thank you, keep going, keep going. Good, love you. Okay, let's go to Sh.

Namaste Father. Actually there was a question, now there is no question. Yes, Father, I'm your slave. I'm your slave. I'm always your beggar servant. I just want to make sure that you hear this because this body may become ashes soon. I just don't know why I'm saying like this. I just want to make sure that you listen to me, that I'm your slave, I'm always your beggar servant.

Yes, this very beautiful expression that you've used and thank you, thank you for that. To be a servant of God is to follow his will, to leave mental slavery, mental oppression, and come into the servitude of God is the greatest gift that we can give to ourselves. And of course, if anyone is new to Satsang, you must not feel that he's talking about this Ananta, this physical one. He's talking about the Satguru presence within. And once we learn to serve that, to follow the nudges from our heart, then our life truly becomes free. So in the servitude of the Atma within is how we come to a true freedom. And may you be blessed. You're absolutely right that we have no idea about the duration of this life, when this body will become ashes we have no idea. So we cannot leave it for later. We must commit to following the will of God moment to moment right now. And that which is your prayer is my prayer too, because may I always remain a beggar servant at his feet. May I be a slave to his every will, to his every bring, to his every nudge. May I recognize that he is the true Master, the only Guiding Light. So I pray for both of us in this way. All my love, all my blessing.

Something more is coming to say thank you, thank you for everything.

Thank you, thank you. Let's go to a very serious Anu.

Thank you Ananta Ji. Actually I didn't come up with anything new. I just... I didn't come up with anything new. I can say nothing, not even a question. I just wanted to make that report that when you see whatever we can do is waiting at the gate of God. So this is how I can only go by myself until to this open, empty deep silence. But what is beyond the perception is only obvious when I contact to you, Ananta Ji. Can you hear me?

Yes, yes. So that beyond perception is only...

Thank you, Ananta Ji. Actually, I didn't come up with anything new. I can say nothing, not even a question. I just wanted to make that report that when you see whatever we can do is waiting at the gate of God. So this is how I can only go by myself until this open, empty, deep silence. But what is beyond the perception is only obvious when I contact you, Ananta Ji. Can you hear me?

Yes, yes. So that beyond perception is only recognized when you're in Satsang?

Yeah, and even when I am joined, when I contact to you, this clarity is... I cannot go there by myself. This is only the grace of Guruji. And actually, that's it.

For all of us, it is only the grace of the Satguru within. And I'm so happy that his grace is being met in whatever form it is. Fine. The form is not so important; it is the fact of his grace bringing us to his light, his love, which is important. Good.

So once you said if there is an apparent me in the future, the only way to help this non-existent me is be with God just right now. Actually, this is why I am coming week by week.

The best gift that you can give to any future you is to be with God fully right now. Yes. When I am... Aniku could have the longest laughing Buddha video for years. Thank you so much.

You're welcome, you're welcome. Good, good, good. Bless you, bless you.

Okay, let's go to Samia.

Hello. Hi, Father. Hello. Can you hear me?

Loud, yes, yes.

Just while... I don't know what to say. Same, same. I don't know why I come up, but speaking became more difficult. Yeah, probably if I would be there, I would just come to you and hug you and it would be enough. But because I cannot do now, I came up. That's the thing. I don't know if you can feel, but yeah, just if I say I love you, it would mean nothing. So I don't know what to say.

Yes, I also often feel that when I tell you kids I love you, it is not deep enough an expression. But we have to live with that. What to do? Language is like that. Love you, I love you so much.

Same, same, same. And I hug you.

I hug you too. Bless you always, bless you always.

And all the grace you have graced me with, I just give all back to you. Thank you.

Very good, very good. Yes, thank you. Okay, let's go to Su.

Namaste, Father.

Namaste, Namaste. How are you?

I'm good, thank you. And you?

I'm also good, Father. Oh, very good, very good.

I didn't have anything particular in my mind because there are many things I can ask or talk about. So do you want to question me? Would you like to question me regarding something that I come to Satsang? Like, I'm open to be asked.

Let's see if something comes from my heart to ask now. Nothing is coming to ask, but I'm sending all my love, full blessings, and may you always remain in God's grace and his love. Bless you, bless you. So many questions today that... so many hands today that didn't really have questions. It's very, it's very sweet like this also. After some point, we don't know what words to use, what things to say. Let's go to Money.

Can't hear you so well, my mic again. Yeah, you cannot... oh, now I can hear you. Now it's better. Now the mic is... thank you. Yeah, yeah, my hand was also... maybe my video is freezing again, my internet is not so good. Yeah, I might be freezing. Yeah, yeah, I also don't have anything in mind and I'm staying with everything you say. I don't know, and grace you say, so as much as I can, like, every moment. And maybe what I can report a little bit, I don't know if this is completely true, but seeing more and more that I still identify. And before maybe I thought, okay, I'm open and all the time... can you hear me well or is it difficult?

It's difficult, but I want to hear.

It's fine. Yeah, just I'm doing my best. Yeah, just... and still I think I'm getting tricked sometimes when, for example, now, just speaking before I had my hand up, so many ideas were coming what to say, you know? Like, and then they pass and it's like nothing. And it's like it's here, I'm laughing and I don't know, I'm maybe being the most stubborn student out of like still believing things, I don't know.

No, no, you are not. I am my most stubborn student. I'm still believing things, so you don't have to look at it that way at all. It's not a race. This is, like I keep saying, a lifetime's work and we can only deepen and deepen and deepen, but we can never see we have come to the end of this. So I'm very happy that you say that. Something, you know, like a spiritual mind can convince us that we are always empty or some idea like that, but when you notice more and more, you see that the work continues. We have to keep deepening in our love, in our faith, in our sadhana. So very good, very good.

So we can all the thoughts... we can always let all the thoughts go? Nothing... always?

Yes, yes, always. I am sorry I'm asking still this question, but like no matter what it is, like, yeah, always let all your thoughts go because you have a higher intelligence which can communicate with you if it has to, but otherwise it'll just lead your life the way it wants to. But if you go with your thoughts, then Grace holds back in a way, metaphorically, that it's saying, 'Okay, you try it your way first.' So you can just always surrender. Always, just whatever it is, always. Thank you very much.

Thank you, thank you. Okay, I feel it's time for a bhajan. Singers, some deeply meditative state for us.

I was sharing with Atma that it would be very nice if he did some recordings of these Mira bhajans, Kabir, Tukaram, all these, and just with the only intention of praying to God, like not any pretense at all, you know? Just so I would love to listen to that all the time, just invoking God with no concern about the rest of it, even how it is sounding, none of that. Just like that. So I'm so happy that we may have the chance to do some of that beautiful devotional music with the only purpose being God. It really touches my heart. Sometimes you come across something on YouTube and the singer just singing for God just touches you. The quality of the singing and how much experience they have and all that is not so important; it just touches you more when it's absent of any pretense. Let's see, let's see how that goes.