The Biggest Block to God Is Pride - 1st May 2024

That is where Nanak is pointing to us is very important, that we must follow His will, His command. That is the only way to true freedom, to true salvation, you see? So all of you, if you're truly deepening in your spirituality, you will see the pull of Maya also on a daily basis. 'Come, come, come.' Like, 'Leave God, God can wait for later. You see, where is He going? I have more important things to do right now.' You see, every day it tempts with something. So we were just talking about this at home as well, that when you start to see yourself getting happy, peaceful in spiritual things, then know that Maya is losing his grip on you. But when you are just repelled every time there is some talk of listening to a bhajan or listening to a satsang or reading something written by a sage, something being pointed to God, if you want to just finish all the other work first and then the mind makes the excuse that, 'Okay, I'll come to this when I have some peace,' you know, 'but right now these important things to do,' then know that Maya has you. Maya has you because it is not even logical. What is the most important thing to do?

When Kabir Ji said, 'Kabira khada bazaar mein,' was he talking about your email? What is he talking about? You see, he's telling us also, he told us that the opportunity will not come again and again. And also he has told us, don't postpone, you see? In the guise, Maya never comes and says, 'This is unimportant.' But maybe you should do it. Maya always comes and says, 'This is so important, your life depends on it. You see, so leave God for the moment. You see, He's not going anywhere. He is Dayalu, merciful, loving, so He's not going anywhere. He'll wait for you. You finish your important things.' And this is what we hear from the world as well, isn't it? 'Do your important work first.' So do your important work, I agree, but be clear about what is important. How to do the important work? Come to Atma Gyan, come to self-knowledge, capital K, using your inquiry. Don't get caught up in the thoughts. Remain open and empty. Don't identify with anything. Don't believe your thoughts which claim that you are somebody. Or unceasing prayer, Nirantar Jap, or both or either, whatever is seeming good for your temperament at the moment.

But your focus should not be on Maya, it should be on God. Whichever context you come from, whether it is a Gana tradition, whether it is a bhakti tradition, whatever your belief system may be about God, in one way or the other we are hoping to be in His refuge, isn't it? Either to recognize our oneness with Him, our non-duality, Advaita with Him, or to find place at His feet in Vaikuntha or whatever our belief system may be. But in either case, our focus has to be upon Him. Then He will show us the way, He will show us the truths, He will show us His light, and He will show us that all these are possible and true. So you don't have to go policing any brand of bhakti, any brand of Gana, because Consciousness itself by definition is everything. And we limit it by saying it has to be only like this, it can't be like that. And that which is aware even of Consciousness, the pure witnessing, the Eternal One, we cannot box that in any conceptual understanding anyway. Beyond anything that can be said or heard, beyond anything that can be understood, is the nature of the absolute reality which is yourself.

So whatever pathway to God, whatever steps the Guru has taught you, you must follow. You must follow with everything at your disposal. And the true Guru is in your heart. The worldly Guru is just provisional. He's pointing you, or she is pointing you, to the Satguru presence within. So all of satsang is just to expand the discipleship of the Atma. We are just expanding the discipleship of the Satguru presence within your heart. And once you learn to listen to that, then your life has come to its true fruition, to its true value. But if you waste this life and never come to the discipleship of the Atma within, then you are born, you see? Well, you can claim to be born, but it is almost like you were dead and you continue to be dead and you die. But you have a chance at true life because the light of life is within your heart. Your spiritual core, your spiritual center is the heart. And in your faith, in your humility, in your love, in your kindness, in your compassion, you learn to follow the nudges, the markings initially from the Atma within, and then more and more the Atma reality will seem much more obvious than the reality of the world. So the point of this external satsang is for us to reach our internal satsang, that the holy presence, the holy light is burning in our heart to bless us, to guide us.

Father, there are no, the one which you mentioned, other like big ambitions or big bigger goals or 'I want to be' or 'want to name,' those are not at all a problem now. Those are not a problem, not at all a problem. That's, it even doesn't even come once in a week also in mind, whether it is any achievement or to be any good in others' view and all. But still the small things which we just now mentioned, that just fall down and get up. Yes, if you are fallen down, just get up. That doesn't happen. The small things are even like you analyze exactly what you said, what it is, why, why I am there, start thinking, 'Has anybody seen me?' or something. So those, those are the two different things to be handled separately, Father? Like one big one is gone, the smaller one...

No, then the smaller ones become the big one, isn't it? So the big ones are gone. So using the temptation of ambition, chasing the treadmill, all of this rat race doesn't seem to have so much pressure on you. It's not taking you away from God's presence. But these, now these small, small things have come, you see? Then when these small, small things are being noticed, then these are the big ones. When these also get lighter and lighter, then they'll be subtle. So it gets subtler and subtler and smaller and smaller. But it's like on a daily basis I'm recognizing things which show up here, you see? And I realize that all these things were still hidden. All these conditions, all these temptations from the mind to pick up grievances, to pick up resentment, to pick up the 'why' question instead of the 'who' question are still present in us. So the 'why me?' What makes us go 'why me?' is still there and it exposes itself, reveals itself.

But the more and more you start to realize what an exchange you are making, the more difficult it will be for the mind to tempt you. Because when we are saying God's presence, we mean it very literally, you see? So God's presence is in your heart. So Krishna, Jesus, Ram, Allah, whatever you want to call, Waheguru, He's sitting in your heart now. If you take it fully literally, then okay. But because we are so used to taking the world literally and not our inner space literally, just imagine that He's sitting in this room. Krishna is sitting with you in this room, is sitting on that couch. So now what has to happen outside this room for you to leave the room? When you look at it that way, then it seems like I would be really foolish to leave it. Even if there's an earthquake happening, Krishna is with you, why you have to worry, you see? So this is literally the truth about our life. If you are in His presence, why worry about whatever else? So just stay. But that requires a leap of faith. That is the main leap of faith and we will constantly...

Being with you in this room is sitting on that couch. So now, what has to happen outside this room for you to leave the room? When you look at it that way, then it seems like I would be really foolish to leave it. Even if there's an earthquake happening, Krishna is with you, why you have to worry? You see? So this is literally the truth about our life. If you are in His presence, why worry about whatever else? So just stay. But that requires a leap of faith. That is the main leap of faith, and we will constantly wrestle with this throughout our lives, you see. Just the topics of the wrestling will change because something will keep coming saying, 'No, no, leave it, leave it.' You see? 'Go to the world, take it to be real, don't be foolish.' Faith seems like foolishness; that's why it seems like a risk.

So all of us want to have a very comfortable faith. Just a small boundary line. Make a pie chart of our life and say the spiritual box, that is enough for our faith. But when it comes to when we start to realize how literal the meaning of surrender is, is it that we have to surrender no matter what may be seeming to be at risk? Then, initially, it can happen that we feel that, oh, our family is at risk, our work is at risk. These big, big fears can come from us and from those around us, you see. But after a while, you see that it's fine. Most of us feel like it's going on, you see, it's going on. So then later it becomes about, 'Oh, but you're right about this, you're wrong about this. Why do you have to be sheepish? Why do you have to...' You see, all this kind of invitation will keep changing and they'll become subtler and subtler, and you realize how many conditions we are still holding on to. You see, there are so many conditions. It should not be this way, it should not be that way, it should only be like that. 'How could you do this to me?' All these things will come.

So we are learning to, in our faith to God, say He's with you, then what's the problem? So how literal is it? Is it as literal as Krishna holding your hand right now and sitting? That is what the question is. Yeah?

As you advised, I mean, even the small things... you're blocking actually the mic... as you advised, even the small things were given, just given up. Like even, I mean, earlier everything is planned, right? In the morning you start, okay, at 7:20 I will reach, the driver will come, he will... the small things which also started just leaving without planning. And everything happens. Whether you try or you don't try, it just happens in that way only, it's happening. I don't even, I don't know, maybe right or wrong, I don't even see maps nowadays, where should I take, what route I should take. Just all that... the tension which starts with that, that is all gone.

So good, that's good. That is not my advice, I know, I know. But whatever makes us living that faith, living that trust of His presence in our heart. Now, the good news is that it's either completely not true or it has to be completely true, because there cannot be a halfway God, you see. So either God is all there is and He is the all-intelligent Supreme One whose will is running this whole universe, or there is no God, you see. Now you've taken a breath that there is a God. You've come to spirituality, you've come to satsang long enough by now that then faith, you have to test the full faith of it, isn't it? There's no point saying, 'Okay, now I'll still take this onto myself.' Now what that means, and why I said that I'm not saying don't look at maps, is that as an instrument of God, whatever needs to happen in the world can also unfold. We cannot take a position also that 'I will not do' or 'I will do' because that seems more spiritual to do. How to be spiritual? To follow Spirit moment to moment.

And as you mentioned, Father, you can literally see more and more Maya of yourself, how it's trying to... even I sometimes feel pride, take pride in saying that my Maya is stronger. My Maya is stronger, yeah. It's like it's attacking me like anybody, and nobody else would be attacked like that. So even that pride comes.

Everyone feels that. But you know, if we were to start sharing stories of what everyone has gone through, I can guarantee you that each one of us will feel like we have gone through the least, Maya has been the least. But we feel like it's especially difficult for us. Is it? Look at all these people, they don't have jobs, they... you can just sit and pray all day, it's so easy. I have this team to manage and you know, all this stuff. You know, I think it's similar to what you may have. But Maya is the greatest con artist for everybody. You must never feel like the circumstances are the worst. It's just not true, actually. In fact, Grace has been so kind. Because why I'm saying we must not feel that is because we get into that mode of ungratefulness, you see. Instead, we must say that I have a chance of living in God's light. Wow. I don't live in Kashi, I don't live in Vrindavan, I don't live in Jerusalem, I don't live in any holy place. I had a regular life, regular upbringing, regular job, regular family, regular city, and yet I have a chance of living in God's light. What Grace is that? What mercy is that? It's always finding how blessed we are.

That's why it's so beautiful, Hanuman Poddar said, he said it is so good for us—I'll say in Hindi first and then I'll translate—so he said it is so, so good for us, so beautiful for us that God is not just, He is merciful. When you hear it first, you feel like, 'But of course God is just.' Justice itself comes as a concept itself from Him, isn't it? Like humans would not have a universal notion of justice unless God put it in our heart, isn't it? So, but His mercy is stronger than His justice, at least towards us. Because if He was to be just with us, then why, how would we be sitting? The opportunity to spend a life in His light, it has to be His mercy. It has to be His love for us. The amount He's held us every step of the way, the amount He's led us, holding our finger every step of the way, is actually stunning if you really look at it. You'll see, right? You will see how stunning it is.

So we must never get into that trap saying, 'Why has He made it so difficult for me only?' The subtle things, you know, this is Maya, this is where it hides. Because it can seem humble enough, 'I'm just lamenting at the state of my life,' you see. It can seem humble enough, but actually even in that is hidden the ego. Even in that can be hidden, 'Oh, why me like this?' So it's good to keep noticing all of these things. We are part of a sangha. In the sangha, we often become competitive. We become, we say, 'Oh, why is he getting God first? Why is she getting God first? Why not me?' You see? But if you were to really step back and look at it, what are we saying? You see, God, we are talking about God. His intelligence, His love, His justice, we can never question. He knows exactly what is needed at every moment, much more than we can ever know.

So that's why, I mean, if there is a God, then it must be all the way. It can't be that, 'Oh, there is a God, but He actually doesn't know this much about my life. He's only slightly interested, like I'm just a side character in the story.' Like, no. He knows every breath you take, every heartbeat. He knows us much better than our mind ever could. That is the God that you meet in your heart. That is the God that is present in your heart altar, in your heart temple. So all these small, small things are just being brought to His light and they're being cleaned up so we can return to the innocence of a child and be with Him in our heart. They're all true knowledge, Atma Gyan, self-realization, but love, kindness, gratitude, faith, all these are brought from there.

And you really start to notice more and more what I was saying half-jokingly that day, that with God it is always 'Sarkar,' you know, which means that we may try, try, try with everything we have, you see, but until His hand doesn't move... and when it moves, then it just moves, takes care of everything this way or that way. So all our effort, all our power, potential that we think we have, we must exert it towards God-realization, to come to Him. Because you make that effort and then your life is taken care of by Him. And most of you must have started seeing evidence of that, you see. You just turn towards Him and how things on the outside just seem to happen. The same things that would seem like, 'Oh, this needs so much effort, this needs this so much to be done,' somebody just calls, you see.

I'm not selling any easy cheat codes to life. Many times life can seem very challenging also when it has to squeeze us out. But many of the things, by God's grace, just start to move very beautifully that would have taken so much more effort seemingly in the human mode. God just takes care of it. But you can't use it selfishly like that. Your quest must be sincere for God. You can't say, 'Okay, I'm tired of this thing now, I heard this good deal by Ananta, so I just have to like bow down a bit, do like that, like that. Where is the miracle? Where is the miracle?' So you can't, we can't fool God. God knows when it is just confusion, when it is authentic. So please don't mistake God to be some sort of like scientific phenomena. Consciousness can sound like just a function of the brain or something like that, or awareness can sound like just like a mode of perception or something like that. All life, all intelligence, what life means, what love means, what truth means, all of that comes from this living being called God. Call Ram, call Krishna, call Jesus, call Allah. He's a living being, She is a living being.

So a great example of this I saw the other day. I was watching this series on Mirabai. So a great sage came to... she was just a child. A great sage comes to her house and he is very attached to his murti of Krishna, this great sage. So what happens is that Mirabai starts playing with that murti and she starts to fall in love with it and she says, 'My Krishna is here, finally found, finally found my Krishna and He's here.' Now this sage, this Swami, is very attached to that murti, so he tells the parents, 'Please give my murti back.' So they keep bringing it back, but the murti itself keeps going back to Mirabai's room. So then this Swami is getting very upset and, 'This child is stealing my murti. I love it, it's my true treasure. It is the murti of my God, my Lord, how can she take it from me?'

So then what has happened is that he's getting upset and he wants to leave the house and he tries to lift the murti and he cannot lift it. It's become so heavy, you see. Then he starts lamenting because he's had it for so long and he's so attached to it, you see. Then he says, he prays to God. Then God comes and God says to him, 'I am going to be here because although you had a lot of faith, you had a lot of devotion, you still considered me to be a murti of God, but she considered me to be God Himself.' I feel like that's a great teaching about... in the West there may be this idea about idol worship and who are these foolish people who can pray to rocks and stones and say that is God? So like Ananta has told us that if we have faith, then a rock is Shiva, and if you don't have faith, then even Shiva is a rock. Because Mirabai's faith was so much that she felt like it is actually God with her, and she was the rightful owner of that. But even though our faith may be high and we may say, 'This is a great representative, a murti of God,' it is still not enough. Such a beautiful story.

So the idea is to feel God's presence everywhere, outside and within. Experience His presence, experience His life. If you know that He's always with you, your life will be fully transformed. So if you're completely new to the quest for discovering God, it may sound very intimidating to say, 'I have to replace myself,' is it? Because the lane is too narrow; there can either be God or me. If I have to replace myself fully so that the lane can be left free for God, that may sound very intimidating. So if you're new, then you have to start somewhere. Start somewhere wherever resonates with your heart the most. If it is listening to bhajan, singing bhajan, start there. If it is doing some japa, start there. If it is to do self-inquiry, start there.

For discovering God, it may sound very intimidating to say, 'I have to replace myself.' Is it because the lane is too narrow? There can either be God or me. If I have to replace myself fully so that the lane can be left free for God, that may sound very intimidating. So if you're new, then you have to start somewhere. Start somewhere, wherever resonates with your heart the most. If it is listening to bhajan, singing bhajan, start there. If it is doing some japa, start there. If it is to do self-inquiry, start there. If it is to do pranayam, whatever, whatever practice, as long as your intention is to find God. You see, we have to flower the intention so that one day we can become one-pointed, wholehearted in our intention. We have to water that intention to surrender our life to God. Even though it may seem very intimidating to begin with, we have to take a first step. Start somewhere. Any aspect of yourself you start giving to God, then He will show you what to do next.

Even if it is on the outside, you say, 'All this antahkarana and stuff is too difficult. I don't know what it is. How do I take God within? Sounds too difficult. I don't know what that is.' So then just make an altar for yourself on the outside. That will lead you to your heart altar. Start, and whatever cultural background, whatever, it doesn't matter. Just whatever you consider to be God's reminder, remind you of your own faith, that is good enough. So start praying in this small way, then He shall show you what to do next. So you've given some part of the outside world to Him. Then you may start saying that, 'I'll start saying the prayer in my mind.' So you've given part of your mind to Him. If just to keep it in the mind seems too difficult, then use your mouth, use your words. Say the prayer out loud, sing a bhajan; then you've given part of your body to Him. Then you say, 'Okay, I will learn servitude. I will follow only His will.' So how to judge whether it is His will or my will? That your intellect will help you. You start getting the viveka to start separating your selfishness and His will. So then you've given part of your intellect to Him, see?

And then as you surrendered in this way, more and more of yourself that you give to Him, the more and more that part which can only happen by Grace will start to happen for you. Because you cannot say, 'I will do this, this, this, then the light of presence will start shining in my heart.' You can maximum say, 'I will,' like I was saying the other day, 'I will go under all of these layers of the perception of the body sensations, of my thoughts, of my emotions, and I will go under all of that and just rest open and empty over there.' Just like that, I'll be, isn't it? After that, you can't say His presence has to reveal itself to me in my being, in my heart. That we can't force. That's His Grace. But already in doing this much itself, you've transformed your life. And if you have faith that He is loving and merciful, it will happen. But we cannot force His hand because He knows best. He knows when you will become arrogant. He knows when what will lead to more love through you in the world. So we have to trust at that level.

And as you are handing over everything that seems to be yours in this world to Him, don't feel, don't believe that Maya is just going to sit back and watch. The day you decide to start praying, the mind will, the Maya will attack your mind and say this, this, this, this. So much resistance will come. If you go back a few months, how are all of you in the first two weeks of ads? Do we have to? What is this? Can't just... all this resistance was what? Maya attacking your mind. All the resistance. So using your intellect to say, 'Oh, but why? I like this. What is this?' So don't... in the world, things may start changing, you see, in so seeming big ways, good ways, which may be that, oh, perfect relationship partner shows up from somewhere. So many years you looked, no partner showed up, or showed up but they were not perfect, and then suddenly you just decided to turn to God, and you know, this one is there. Like, oh! Or then you're suddenly... I remember going to the first retreat of Guruji, and this was after I had that hot seat experience. And I was sitting in the retreat, and I was just sitting over there, and my mind is telling me, 'You leave this today. You don't need it, you know? And this great business idea is there. You will become... your company will become a unicorn, you see, and then you can organize retreats, you know? You can just call Guruji, he can live in Portugal with you if your company becomes a unicorn. Just leave.'

And somewhere, and you... because the ideas were sounding so good, you see. Like for years I've been entrepreneurial, why didn't I get these ideas before? First day of the retreat sitting there, he's saying things, I'm hearing these business ideas: start this, start that. So next day he was kind enough to invite me on the morning walk. So I told him, I said, 'I spotted this trick of the mind that on the first day of the retreat with you, it is telling me these great ideas, seemingly great, which I'm sure are nonsense.' And they turned out to be fully nonsense, of course. And but in on that day, they were seeming so compelling. So Maya will play with your mind. She'll play with the world. Everything will be used to pull you out of this. It'll say, 'Do this later. This can wait,' you see. So all these things I tell you are all the foolishness that has happened here. So all the... and Guruji of course said that that's exactly how the mind will play.

So as more and more of yourself you want to devote to Him, be aware that be aware of Maya's trick, and it will attack everything. It'll attack satsang, it will attack the teacher, it will attack the words. It'll say, 'Oh, everything is changed now.' You make some nonsense excuses. Don't fall for these tricks. And that is why the sages have told us over and over that Maya is the greatest con artist and that you won't get this opportunity again and again. So as you're making this leap from the way of the head to the way of the heart, know that all this world play will try to get in the way and it seems very convincing. Some of you are noticing, isn't it, that how the mind offers you something first thing in the morning? It'll tell you, 'Okay, now today you have to do this, you have to get this done, you have to get...' But it doesn't say, 'Today you have to spend with God.' You say, 'No, no, get that, get this, get this.' So it tries to take ownership of the day so that another day is gone. And like this, another day, another day, another day, another day is the end. That's the whole game plan. It's very simplistic actually. Simplistic in its broad design, but in the intricacy of what it can offer, it is... the things it can offer you in the guise of spirituality, in the guise of seeming spirituality, it will offer you so many distractions. 'Do this, it is spiritual also. It will help you also in the world.' Offer you these things like that just to distract you. But it's not coming from the heart. It is not your Atma guiding you; it is your mind's trick.

So a true disciple of the Atma has to be willing to risk everything in their life to follow God's presence within. I've quoted Kabir Ji a lot; I haven't said this in many weeks. So he also said, 'Oh beloved, follow me to the path of God, otherwise go fall in a ditch.' I can imagine that the sages also got frustrated from time to time. The ditch is what? This endless roller coaster of egoic pride and egoic downfall, and then specialness and then some other narrative and some other narrative, but no actual peace, no actual contentment. Of trying to win in the eyes of the world but to have more and more loathing for ourselves within. That is the way of the world. And that part is very important. Tulsidas Ji said, 'You may learn to dress like a sadhu, you may even learn to speak the sweetest sounding words, but if inside you are hard-hearted, you cannot find God.' Which means that you may fool the entire world, but you can't fool God.

So if you're not truthful, kind, loving in your heart, but outer you mastered the outer world, which is what I call the difference between the audience of many versus the audience of one. Most of us live for the audience of many, isn't it? But those who are truly coming to the truth see that the audience is always only one: the one who is watching us from the inside. If you learn to live for that one, then He will guide you so beautifully. The life will be full of love and peace and contentment and kindness. But if you live for the audience of the outside, whoever it may be, then you'll only get distracted and caught in Maya again and again. So we can ask ourselves this question: What is this for? As I speak all these words, what is my intention? I can ask myself, 'What am I saying all this for? Is it truly for God, or is it because I want to look impressive, I want to sound good?' And if I'm falling for those tricks, then I'm just fooling myself. And it's not that I don't... I do fall for these tricks, but this is the constant learning that we have to do. Is it truly for God?

Spiritual seekers often fall into this trap that if they make others feel like they're truly spiritual, then they're actually becoming spiritual. We've seen that in the larger satsangs also. We see sometimes that we need to... as long as we can present ourselves in a spiritual way, as long as the world thinks, or even they think, as long as the teacher thinks they're being spiritual, then they're fine. But they've forgotten about the true one who is sitting with them. So it doesn't matter if the whole world thinks you're a piece of mud, but if your intention is to be with God, if your actions are coming from your heart, if you truly want to come to His refuge and you're thirsting for the truth, then all this doesn't matter. So many times the life of a spiritual one can seem completely topsy-turvy to the world and also to themselves at times. But you have to go through all that, all these challenges. That's why the spiritual life is not easy, and it is not meant to be easy. I don't want to give anybody the impression that this project is going to be very easy. The project is very simple: follow God, follow God. It's very simply said, but it's not moment to moment, not easy to live.

So it's very difficult, possibly the most difficult thing that you will endeavor to do. But that is how your faith will be strengthened, that you actually learn, 'Okay, can I hand this over to God then?' And it works out, then you develop that trust, your faith deepens. Then you learn that you can hand over everything and come to true sharanagati, true surrender. Otherwise what will happen, as is happening with most in this modern type of spirituality, is that we'll fall in the trap of thinking we are spiritual. We'll have a very lip-service, armchair spirituality, but we're not risking a grain of sand. And the concept that you have to risk something to come to God sounds strange because isn't spirituality meant to bring me some happiness and peace and joy? He's saying it's going to make it difficult. So that is not what I call spirituality. Spirituality is self-sacrificing, not self-serving. Yes, some peace will come, some love will come, some joy will come as byproducts, but there will be also other times where it will seem like a full-on battle. You are Arjun in the Mahabharat. It will seem like that, see? And you don't know what to do, whether to pick up the bow, whether to run, whether to get killed. You don't know what to do. There you have to learn to start trusting, find Krishna within you. This is what makes a true devotee, a true disciple.

Is it possible to die peacefully and stupid? You can also... many times you will die with a lot of suffering, struggling if you're stupid mostly, but also you can fool yourself. You can also fool yourself. So the idea is not peace, or not the peace that we think anyway. Not the peace that we think comes from after a few rounds of a spiritual practice; that is just ephemeral. These things can be aids, they can be tools, but the most important thing is your intention. Is your intention God, or is your intention me? Is it God for me, or is it me for God? Until your intention doesn't fully switch from 'God must come...'

If you're struggling, if you're stupid mostly, but also you can fool yourself. You can also fool yourself. So the idea is not peace—or not the peace that we think, anyway. Not the peace that we think comes after a few rounds of a spiritual practice that is just enjoyable. These things can be aids, they can be tools, but the most important thing is your intention. Is your intention God, or is your intention me? Is it God for me, or is it me for God? Until your intention doesn't fully switch from 'God must come to me and help me for me' to 'whatever is here of this me, whatever this me is, is for God,' we will never become true devotees, true disciples.

So it's very difficult. It is also very unpopular, this kind of spirituality, but that is authentically speaking from my heart. That is what I have discovered in this foolish life that I live. I feel that this at least is authentic. So till the question doesn't switch out from 'mukti for me,' till then we have not even boarded the bus of spirituality. If it doesn't switch, I'll translate from the question of 'what am I getting?' because we got so accustomed in this world to getting, getting, getting. What is my return on investment, ROI? True. What am I giving, really? How am I serving God?

And I also forget from time to time, so I put a wallpaper on my phone one day saying, 'How am I serving God?' because everything in the world teaches you to be self-serving. Okay, what are you getting? You went to satsang, what did you get? See, what did you learn? What did you feel? No, nobody hardly ever asks: What did you sacrifice? What did you give up for God? What did you risk? Did you risk your pride? Did you risk your plan? What are you risking? You want God, you want Him to appear to reveal Himself in your heart—He's already there—but you want the revelation, the holy revelation which the sages have. But are you giving to God what they give, or even a millionth of that in terms of devotion, faith, love, gratitude?

So very humbly I want to tell you all, it won't work like that. At best, you'll have some spiritual experiences. You may even have a moment of what you may call awakening, but Ravan will not go away with that. It may become hyper-activated also. So are you willing to put your head at the guillotine for God, with no guarantees on the other side? No. And you can take a small thing, start with that, after scaring you so much. For example, Ma said, Anandamayi Ma said, 'Don't get angry.' So start with that. That's my project and learning, trying to learn not to get angry. So start with that much for God. Don't tell a lie. Take something small, start with that. Then it'll keep—you can keep growing from there. But something that has a bit of bite. No, 'I want peace, I step out of that comfort zone into...' You're not giving. You may feel like you're giving a lot, but you're not giving unless it pinches you at least a little bit.

So the charity that you're doing, the giving that we do, has to have some bite. If it doesn't matter, then how is it actually giving? So take on something, start like that, small. All these—you hear one sentence from any sage, and we are so blessed to have so many available, so many sages to hear on YouTube and things now. So you hear that and you say, 'Yes, I can learn to try and apply some of this.' Every satsang you get a tip, but are we hearing that way? Like we must hear every satsang as if it is our first satsang. Somebody sends you something, they said, 'This is really beautiful.' Don't think that, 'Oh, I have already—I've been in satsang so long, I know all that.' Leave that. Listen as a beginner. That's what I try and do always. I don't know anything. This great sage is speaking and such beautiful words are coming. So he said this, she said that. Am I applying this? No. So I have to stop. That way your spirituality will continue to be alive. Otherwise, your pride will take it. Then you're not in the beginner mind. Then they say the beginner mind, and then we miss these very small things.

Father, even the name of the sages. Even the name. So if I would have—you would have not said that Hanuman Prasad Poddar Maharaj—I would have, like, looking at the name of him, I would have not listened to him. What is—I never heard. He was slightly involved in politics. So much of judgment, so much of things.

This is true. Unless—the first time on YouTube I came across Guruji's satsang because I was hearing a lot of Papaji's satsang, and I came across his videos would come in the related videos. So I had so much pride, and I still do, but at least hopefully it's a little better. So I was just not clicking. I was saying, 'Why do we need to listen to a Westerner? It's all Indian tradition anyway.' You see? 'Who is this man?' See? So something was just resisting. So the mind can find ways to resist so much. We were actually saying the opposite the other day on the Ramacharitmanas which is lying here. That tikakar, Hanuman Prasad Poddar Ji, and I just read his name and I was feeling so much joy, feeling so happy. But some people have talked about this. They said with Gita Press and Poddar Ji, what happened is that in their time they had a lot of resistance because people—you know this—this kind of nonsense happening in those days. So prejudices, pride, all this plays out.

The question is, Father, if we get annoyed with something or someone, what should we do? I don't know why this feeling of annoyance feels a little overwhelming than others. Yes, thank God this time I don't judge myself about 'why did I do this' etc.

Yes, there's no point beating yourself up about it. So it's good that you're not getting into that trap of the mind. What to do when you're really annoyed? You use whatever power you think you have to try and remain with God in your heart. For those who've been in satsang for some time, I can say this simply: that remain empty and remain with God's presence in your heart. For others who may be new, try to, instead of going into the negative mode of thinking, try to do your prayer or try to do your inquiry, whatever pointer you may have heard in satsang. Just to remain open and empty. Don't believe your next thought. Whatever has worked for you, try to use that to get you out of that mode of pride, resentment, arrogance. Because we may not realize that behind every resentment is some pride, actually. The idea that 'I deserve better, this should not be happening to me.' Is it? So just stay with the tools that are provided in satsang. And it will still come, no? Like I said, I'm still working on my annoyance. I still get irritated quite often, actually. So I'm working on that. So we'll work on it together. Okay, let's go to Georgie.

How do you do this? You get the mic? Hello. One second. This should work. Hello, hello. Um, you were saying to check—to check—I forgot the words that you used, but to check whether we are sacrificing and whether we're doing it for God. Can you hear me okay?

Yes, I can hear it a bit too much, so I'm telling them to put it down a bit on the speaker.

Oh, okay. I can turn it on here too.

No, that's fine, that's fine. So you said, yes, can you repeat?

I forgot the words, but you said—you were talking about what we are sacrificing and um, what we are doing... what are we risking for God?

What are we risking for God? Are you risking your future? Are you risking your plans? Are you risking some relationship, some financial benefits? What is at stake? Because that distinguishes between a lip-service surrender and actual surrender, where we all know the best answer would be, 'I'm risking everything. All is God's will. I don't know where anything is going to go.' See? But sometimes in those broad generic statements like, 'Father, my life is yours, do what you wish,' you see, 'I'm at your feet forever'—then I say, 'My child, can you give up on this anger or give up on this thing?' and it can seem like an attack. Like, 'But didn't you say your life is mine and all of that stuff?' You see? So sometimes it becomes—when we make it very broad, it can seem easy to say. But when we look specifically, so what am I willing to risk for God? Then is it true?

Yes, because I was trying to look at that. I feel like I needed some time to look at it and the first thing that comes is that we can only determine that moment to moment. But every moment there's a chance to go with God and to go with the false. Yeah. And is it true if I say that to choose to go with God at that time is, in a way, to sacrifice the other thing?

So let's take a simple example. What's your favorite soft drink?

I don't have—I don't like soft drinks. I'm drinking mate. That's something I like. This is an Argentine...

Something funny is coming to me, so I'll say it. So suppose you love frozen yogurt, fro-yo. Frozen yogurt, you love it. Okay?

I like ice cream, like, yeah, almost like ice cream.

So now what happens is, because you're living in God's will, He never moves you towards a frozen yogurt shop. He's just not taking you there. You've not had your frozen yogurt fix for six months now, you see? And the mind tells you, 'What is happening? You had this amazing time every time you used to have fro-yo, and now you're just not having it.' So then are you willing to say, 'Yes, I can give up on frozen yogurt if God doesn't move me that way, if He doesn't guide me that way'? Yes. So that way we can start with the small, small things and see what is the boundary of our faith. The spectrum is frozen yogurt to the Abrahamic story, isn't it? That's the entire spectrum of where this human condition can go, isn't it? So where are we on that spectrum? And you don't have to expose it, you don't have to tell us the answer, you don't have to this thing, but at least for yourself, we must learn that this is my boundary. 'I feel like if God guided me this way, that is what I would not follow.' That is my point where I would not follow. And just keep your intention to go beyond that. Keep your intention to go beyond that. That becomes then your point of risk. At which point does it feel compelling to believe doubts about God? And in the lives of all the sages is when they were given the biggest tests and challenges, then the mind came and created doubts in their mind also. 'Are you sure you're listening to God? Are you sure there's even a God? Are you just fooling yourself?' And because it is completely possible that we could be fooling ourselves, you see, that is why that risk is always alive. One second, my dear. We'll come back to Georgie here.

So whatever are my eyes acts for now, if I'm feeling like I'm following God's will, the mind says that if you're not, and if you're listening to the mind, then you actually—it will mess up in the sense that it's like a different mess up than... I don't know how to say this. Like some way, suppose that your mind is tricking you to believing that it is God's voice.

It's what? God's voice?

Yeah, God is speaking to you because the mind is speaking very, like, authoritatively, like akashwani or something like that. So not even speaking, Father, say it's just empty, you know? And the mind is proposing to do something about something and I'm not following it, and it fools me sometimes like, 'You're not believing, you're not with God, and now it's going to mess up because you're not doing anything about it also, and you're not following God also.' Some way...

Exactly. That's why it feels risky. Yeah, it's very risky because Ashtavakra has not written that you must follow the will of God all the time but just in case not available then follow the mind. He's not said that disclaimer. Fine? He said we must follow God's will come what may, you see? Now I also reassured all of you that if truly your intention was to follow God's will and the mind has tricked you, has fooled you, then God will take care of that. God is not unkind, is He? So all will be taken care of as long as your intention was to follow God. But we must learn to not follow our own terms, you see? Now till it does not shift—our mindset doesn't shift from a sense of security coming from being able to do my will and God's will seeming insecure, to the only security coming from following God's will.

I tell all of you that if truly your intention was to follow God's will and the mind has tricked you, has fooled you, then God will take care of that. God is not unkind, is it so? All will be taken care of as long as your intention was to follow God. But we must learn to not follow our own terms, you see. Now, until it does not shift—our mindset doesn't shift from a sense of security coming from being able to do my will and God's will seeming insecure, to the only security coming from following God's will and my terms, my will, seeming insecure—until then, we have not settled in our servitude to God. Is it so?

We're learning, all of us are learning to settle. So right now, God's will will seem like a risk, you see. But we have to take that risk so that one day we'll come to a point where it deepens so much in following His light, His guidings, that the mind's way will sound not just like a risk, but sheer stupidity. Stupidity, actually.

So, how to follow God's will? I've told you that your heart compass is there. Your heart, the light in your heart, is there. And as you learn to live in that, live with that holy flame in your heart, then as you're taking steps in the wrong direction, you will start to see that that light will start to seem diminished. It will start to seem diminished. So even if your mind is telling you that you were open and empty and it just came from God's will itself, you can tell from your inner heart temperature, you see. You get a sense in your heart which way this is going.