Servitude Is a Surrender of Will - 19th April 2024

Eric, be so. The question for you and for all of you actually is: Is the path, the way, apparent? Is it clear to you that in this way I can be with God, I can be with the Self, the truth about myself? I can be empty of ignorance, empty of the false? Because that is the second part of this journey together. The first part is to understand the importance of living our life for truth alone, for God alone. The second is once we determined to live our life in that way, we in the world, we don't know how to live like that. So the immediate job of the external seeming Master is to guide us to that in that process, saying that if you follow in this way, then your life can be lived in God's life. You can live in His presence and—or it may seem like an 'or' to begin with—or you can live empty of the false and in the truth of what you are, the absolute reality of what you are.

So do you have the tools available to you, you feel, to guide you, to bring you back moment to moment into the truth? That is important because Maya will work moment to moment. In this moment you may get a phone call and there may be a trick up its sleeve where you forget about God and you become involved in the world, you see. So do you have the toolkit, the tools that you can apply, that you've tried to apply and maybe struggled to apply, to make your life fully for the truth, to make your life fully for God, you see? And that is what I want to check with all of you, that that is when our spirituality becomes a living spirituality. So what are we doing? What is our attempt? Is it to be empty all the time and therefore to take yourself to be only the reality of what you are? Or is your attempt to be a Bhakta and pray all the time and to devote, dedicate your entire life to God? Or both? And that may change. So you want to give me a report about that, something about that?

Yeah, completely. For me it's empty all the time. Yeah, or somehow it resonates, resonates more. And also I feel it's beautiful to have this silent prayer and love. I don't know, I find it's so sweet when I feel this love for God in me. It's like, it's—yeah, it's the sweetest.

Yeah, it is a natural—yeah, I'm trying to do it far as it is a natural way in which we can be empty. And initially we may be empty like this, but it's very natural for that empty like this to become like this. And I'm not really speaking just of the external posture, you see. The external posture doesn't have to change. But to be empty in this way where the truth can shine through, and the truth always shines through in the presence of God, in the presence of the Atma within. So it is very natural for us to fall more and more in love with that presence, with the Atma within, while our emptiness continues. And that is how it becomes a quiet prayer, a prayer of the heart where you may not be doing any of the outer expression, but you are aware for yourself that you are praying within your heart wordlessly while your head remains empty.

And here the fruits of the prayer are the same for the Giani and the Bhakta, which is to come to His light, to His presence, and in His light to see the—to recognize the Ultimate Reality of who we are. The only thing I want to also guide you all is to say that the path of remaining empty requires a little more vigilance than the path of constant prayer or chanting, you see. Because the mind can quickly convince that, 'Yes, yes, yes, I'm mostly empty.' Whereas if you're—if you're praying all the time, the endeavor is to pray all the time, then very quickly, quickly you can tell that you got distracted away from the prayer and went into the world, and you went away from a remembrance of God in your heart into focusing on the world outside.

But that doesn't mean that I'm disobeying anyone from the path of being open and empty, the Gyan path where intuitive insight can really flower very beautifully and very quickly. So keep going at it. Just make sure that the mind is not fooling you and convincing you that you're being empty most of the time. Not that you're making that report, but for all of you I'm saying that you have to be a little careful that our attempt at being empty is not really an attempt at avoidance or convenience. So what is your heart report, your intuitive report in terms of how is that attempt to be empty all the time? How is that—how is that going for you? How is that unfolding for you?

When I—I sit down, I'm alone, it's easy. Not always, but it's easy for me not to believe my thoughts. But to be honest, like, I'm not sure if then I'm interacting, I—I think I'm sometimes believing the thoughts. The mind automatically comes and it's very hard for me, I must say, to not—it's—it's very hard for me not to express my thoughts. Like, I don't know if that's the same thing. I also wanted to ask you again, it's—it's again the same, like if—if you say really, like, let all thoughts come and go, like if it means like all, like identity. But like, I—I feel kind of the only thing we can believe it's the identity. But—but—but you're saying like all thoughts, let all thoughts come and go regardless? Because yeah, it makes it so simple somehow. Like, um, so yeah, I—I don't know how well I'm doing actually. Maybe these days I'm—I thought before I'm like on all the time and something now I feel it's a little bit healthier that is seeing through the schemes that okay, I maybe I—I was not—yeah, is the video just for me or is it freezing for everyone?

Okay, and mine—mine is all right. Not be so good, I see. Okay, no, yours is good. As long as you can hear me well, that's important. So yes, it can seem like when we are alone by ourselves it is easier to be in that Zen-like state of not grasping at anything, of not holding on to anything. But you say as the rubber hits the road, when you have to interact with the world, you see, then the mind comes automatically. It always comes automatically. It is not—it is not unique. But if you're trying to say that belief goes automatically, then you have to look even more carefully, you see. Because many times when you—when you all tell me that the mind comes like this, what you're saying is that belief goes like this automatically, you see, which is not the case really.

And you can start with this interaction, you see. Start with this interaction and say that everything that the mind is saying, I will come—I will let it come and I will let it go. Because the Master did not say thoughts are visitors, let them come and let them go, don't serve them tea, except some thoughts which are like this. They did not say that, no? So all thoughts you can allow to let go because there is a greater intelligence. And in that question there may be a doubt about that, that if I allow all thoughts to come and go, then how will my interactions happen? How will I engage with the world, you see? Because your—the mind is doubting the existence of a greater intelligence. And that intelligence is running this universe. Forget about just having a conversation; it is that intelligence, that presence, which is the light of this universe.

So if it can run this whole world, then to move your mouth and say the next thing is not so difficult. Only that the switch-over period—is it? The switch-over period may seem to be a bit wobbly. You may seem like you run out of words. You may fear—the mind may throw many fears at you and say, 'But you can't live like this. People will think that there's something wrong with you.' All these kind of worries will come, but you don't have to worry about any of that. Do you remember that—I don't know if I was sharing in the broadcast—but our life is a life with an audience of one. The size of the audience that we have in our life is one. You got that? This audience is God. God's are the only eyes that matter. God's are the only eyes that matter.

People may—I think whatever of you. People may love you. You may have millions of people that love you, you see, but if you're just performing for them, if you're just identifying with your mind so that you can look good for them, then it is not really important at all. Only thing that matters is: How are we in God's eyes? And when I say God's eyes, I'm not talking about an oppressive one who is judging every action that we are doing. I'm talking about His presence which is watching, which is with us through every heartbeat, through every breath of our life. And to remain with Him, to remain in His love, in His light, is the only thing that is really important.

So we must not be concerned about, 'What am—how am I looking in the eyes of another? What are people thinking of me?' Never be concerned about that. The eternal witness, you see, the third bird is the only bird which is relevant. That one is always watching. So never get caught up in the ways of the world and whether in your being spiritual you're able to perform in the world well, or the world is finding you too foolish these days, or what is happening. That really doesn't matter. So try this out. Let go of every thought. Remain empty.

Thank you.

And that remaining empty will allow you to recognize that you are that pure awareness itself and unidentified as anything in the world. Deeper and deeper you will fall in love with your heart and then it'll become natural for you to remain empty and to remain in your self-recognition of who you are.

My heart is longing for—like, yeah. Yeah, completely. So just letting all thoughts come and go, no—no regardless what? Yeah.

Okay, let's see. Let's check if it was not like that. So we said, 'No, no, not all thoughts, but there are some thoughts you must believe,' you see? Then you have to get your intellect involved, you see, what is coming. Then your intellect has to be involved saying, 'Yes, yes, this thought okay, this thought not okay.' So the judging aspect of the mind, which is the intellect, will then have to be on overdrive, you see. But when the intellect is on overdrive, then you can't really be empty because then you're judging every thought saying 'good, good' or 'bad, bad,' you see. And the mind itself will pose as if it is your wisdom, it is your intellectual spiritual understanding, and it will confuse you about, 'Oh, that thought should have been believed, that thought should not have been believed. You're doing it all wrong.' And the checker guy will go on overdrive, you see.

So that way we will never come to any freedom if we start to categorize and say that this is helpful. Again I'm telling you that there is a greater intelligence which can run your life, you see, which is actually running our life. So you—we have to learn to trust that. Just trust that more and more. The switch-over period may seem a bit confusing, may seem a bit of oscillations may happen, but you must make the switch.

I'm just—I guess I'm just afraid that I'm speaking from my mind. I just—I just—yeah, I—because a thought comes and I just do what you—little bit what you told me. I just let it go and see if my lips basically say it. And sometimes I'm not sure if—if—if it's come—if I'm coming from my mind or is it's just the heart speaking.

Yes, yeah. So keep at it. But the path of open and empty has this very important obstacle, you see. This is the main important obstacle which means that—um, I heard this example in Satsang by Podar Ji where he said, if you were told not to believe your thoughts—he didn't say that but...

Yes, and I just do what you told me. I just let it go and see if my lips basically say it. And sometimes I'm not sure if it's coming from my mind or if it's just the heart speaking.

Yes, yeah. So keep at it. But the path of open and empty has this very important obstacle, you see. This is the main important obstacle, which means that—I heard this example in satsang by Podar Ji where he said—if you were told not to believe your thoughts... he didn't say that, but I'm making the comparison. Yes. In the same way that suppose that one day someone came and told you that you must make sure that you never look at the Moon. You must make sure that you never look at the Moon. And so what would happen? Before that, you were not concerned; you were not even looking at the moon ordinarily, you see. But now that you heard this, then you're constantly, 'Uh oh, I must make sure I don't look at the Moon. I must look at the Moon.' Even if it's daytime, we may be worrying about when it is night, 'Let me make sure I don't look at the Moon,' see?

So many times in the path of open and empty, we can fall into this kind of sort of mental state which tells us to not get identified with our thoughts, make sure that you're not following the mind. And this tendency I've called the 'Checker guy' for many, many years. So this Checker guy will come and oppress you, you see, pretending to be your spiritual guide in the head, but actually it is the oppressor—the mind posing as the spiritual friend. So what must you do when this thought comes and says, 'I must not believe on Maya'? You can inquire into it and say, 'Who is this I? Who am I?' So use the inquiry along with your open and empty if you're not able to just remain empty of especially these thoughts which are the Checker guy thoughts. Because the Checker guy can keep us trapped for centuries. We can keep understanding, but the mind can keep using that and saying, 'See, now this is what you're doing. See, now this is what you're doing. You're following the mind.' The mind itself will say you're following the mind, you see? And this circle doesn't seem to have an exit except if you use the inquiry. So if you use the inquiry and say, 'But who is this I?' then you return to your self-recognition and you remain empty.

Yeah, for yes, for very good.

So how do you start your day?

For me, yeah, with the Guruji's exercise right now, like sitting for 15 minutes usually and just trying to, yeah, just simplify. Just trying to be empty and if, yeah, I feel I cannot do it, just if Grace allows, but come to the self-recognition, stay in that self-recognition.

Very good. Like that. Good way to start. And then how soon before you notice that you're starting to get involved with the mind and things of the world? So the exercise got over, now you remain empty and the Self is apparent to you, then the play of life continues. So do you feel like in a few minutes you start to get involved with the world, or for a few hours you're empty like that? Of course things will come in the middle, but I'm saying predominantly, mostly.

Mostly I would say empty, but somehow not always is it apparent. Yeah, it's apparent to me as that into awareness somehow when I'm moving somehow, and then I try to stay in that and maybe it mixes itself all up. So I cannot say that completely, cannot say that it's apparent to me that I'm the awareness all the time, like not even close. Somehow it's like glimpses. But I know you told me and I know that like if the greatest obstacle is the identification and like without that, basically, yeah, I'm aware that I'm awareness.

So it's amazing. Without that, everyone is. So that is the main problem, that this identification. When we believe the narrative of the mind and we believe—this answers your earlier question also—if you believe any construct of the mind, you see, the 'me' somewhere is inbuilt in that, or even if it doesn't seem apparent in that moment, very soon it is coming. For example, I used to constantly take this example saying if you just believe a harmless thought, what's wrong with believing that the coconut is green? Because your mind doesn't leave you at that. It says, 'Oh, when I was young I used to have these green coconuts,' or 'I don't like this, I don't like this kind of coconut, I prefer the other one,' or 'When I was in India this is what I did,' versus, you see? So very quickly the identity is coming. It is very difficult to grab on to the construct of thoughts and not fall for an identity.

So, yes. So then what happens when you find yourself, when you notice for yourself that you're getting involved in Maya, that you're getting caught in Maya? What is the job you're using?

Sometimes I just snap my—just snap or just let it go. Snap, I don't know, just like glimpses, or sometimes you used to do before the click. So I do that or, yeah, when I notice it, I just let it go somehow. I don't know, just, yeah, just let it go.

Yes. So then after how long do you remain empty again? In the sense that—okay, I don't want to be too quantitative about it—but if you tell me that after the exercise is over, 99% of the time I go back to the mind and I have glimpses like 1% of the day, then I have glimpses and recognition for that 1% that I am awareness itself, but all the rest of the time I'm taking myself to be somebody identified as a person, then my advice, my guidance may be different. Then if you say, 'Yes, 90% I am awareness itself, but from what I can tell, my intuitive report card is that about 10% of the time I fall into the identity of being somebody.' And I know we cannot be precise about these things because it varies, but what is your heart sense?

I don't know, can't—I don't know. I feel I'm making still some small mistakes then sometime. Can you hear me now?

Now, yes. Yeah, yeah.

That I am taking the 'I' to be true even if it's like harmless. I must say like, 'Okay, I want to go there, I want to do,' and something believes in that.

How do you know it is harmless? I don't know, I don't know. Yeah, that's the—it's not harmless. It is the greatest harm to take yourself to be that which you're not, you see? Because in that moment there is a seeming distance between yourself and God's presence. Is it so? That seeming distance between yourself and God's presence, it can seem like it is all right in the world, but actually it is not. It is quite harmful for us to live away from God's presence. It is like a leaf having fallen from its branch, you see, trying to make it by itself, but it's just falling. So we must return to our connection with God, with the truth, as quickly as we can.

So the matter is literally a matter of life and death, you see. I don't mean to sound too scary, but literally it is a matter of being truly alive or being in a zombie existence, you see. And when I make that metaphor—I've been using it, analogy, metaphor over and over again—and sometimes I wonder whether I'm being too stark, but when I look at it, I see that it's very, very accurate actually. It's very, very accurate actually, you see? Because anytime we are identified and we take ourselves to be this bundle of flesh alone, then that is to be a zombie.

So the point, the problem is not in the activity by itself where you say, 'I have to go there, I have to do that,' you see. That can still happen. But the 'I' to be taken to be this just this appearance, that is what Maya's whole game is. The whole game of Maya is to distract us from the fact of God's light and God's presence within us, the fact of our unchanging reality as awareness itself, into taking ourselves to be this body-mind. And that is possibly the greatest harm we can afflict on ourselves.

As you say, it's because sometimes the outdoor situation seems like it's so demanding, like it needs to—it's so convincing in this way. Because for example, I need to find new accommodation or something and then otherwise I end up on a street. And this way, yeah, yeah, that's when it can trick me.

Yes, yes, yes. And that is why it is important to remember that in this life there will be good times, there will be bad times; all these things, ups and downs, will come, you see. But our job is to remain constant in His love and His light with the truth. And the design of Maya is this way: it will always pull us. It won't say, 'Okay, now you are going to satsang, it's okay, I'll leave you.' You see? 'You are gone, I leave you.' Even if you read the stories of the greatest sages, you will see that Maya keeps trying, the mind keeps trying, keeps trying. It doesn't give up.

So your nemesis in this spiritual game, in this spiritual Leela, in this spiritual battle almost, the nemesis is a very persistent one. So it'll say, 'What are you going to do? Are you going to live without a house? You're going to be homeless? You have no money? What's going to happen to you?' And what happens? The only one who can help us in that situation, that we forget, you see, which is God. God is forgotten and we say, 'Okay, how can I do this for myself? God can wait. I have other important things to resolve right now,' you see? 'My prayer can wait, my inquiry can wait, my being empty can wait. All that can wait because I have important things to do right now,' you see? And that is the whole game, that is the whole trick. What do we give importance to? What can we give importance to?

That's why I'm telling you that not only is it just an audience of one, it is only Him, which is the reality of any of this. That is why this is called Maya, you see? The great realm of appearances which is constantly changing and therefore doesn't have any substantive reality to it except as a projection on the screen of Consciousness itself. So as real as you take a movie, and maybe less than that also, because many times movies can be quite compelling. Take that to be your only reality, the only important thing. Take Him to be the only important one, see? Otherwise, are you noticing the trick? When the danger of bad times comes, we say, 'Let me take care of myself, God can wait,' you see? That is exactly the opposite of what we should be doing.

If there is an impending danger of something, we should retreat more into God. And retreating more into God, the mind will tell you that is escapism, that is like living like an ostrich, you cannot live like that. But I'm not talking about an external passivity, you see. That may be an external passivity if that is how God wills it, you see. But I have noticed in this life so much that when there seem to be unsurmountable problems, if you just remain with God, then something happens. You can't figure it out in advance and you're just like, 'Where did that come from? How did that happen?' you see? And you get used to it. You know it is God's blessing, you know it is God's grace, see? But you can't use it conveniently. You can't use it as a cheat code because our love for Him must be real and our remaining with Him must be because of our love for Him, higher than any love for the world that we may have. It's not just as a convenience: 'Oh, Ananta told me when things are bad just go to God, He will solve it.' So then you're just trying to—you're still loving yourself and loving the idea of having an easy way to solve the problem instead of loving God, see? So you cannot fool yourself in these ways.

But that is why it is important to deepen our love for God in those times where things don't seem so compellingly out of whack, things don't seem to be so much in trouble, because that's how you build the deepening in your devotion. So that when the bad times come, you remain. And then you can truly say that whichever way God keeps me, whichever state God keeps me in, I am happy, but I'm not going to leave Him, come what may. So whether you say God, whether you say Atma, whether you say Brahman, whether you say the Self, whether you say the truth, it's all the same. We are talking about reality and we must deepen in our love for reality because without that, what is happening is that you're neglecting the guidance.

Deepening in your devotion so that when the bad times come you remain, and then you can truly say that whichever way God keeps me, whichever state God keeps me in, I am happy. But I'm not going to leave Him, come what may. So whether you say God, whether you say Atma, whether you say Brahman, whether you say the Self, whether you see the truth, it's all the same. We are talking about reality, and we must deepen in our love for reality because without that, what is happening is that you're neglecting the guidance of the Satguru within. The presence of the Atma within is the Satguru, you see? That's why we are in this process of becoming disciples of the Atma. But if we return to the mind instantly as soon as the mind presses a button on the remote control, things are in trouble. Relationships are going bad, running out of money, health is fading, you see? You don't have any understanding of any meaning in life, you see? You're failing on all fronts. Okay, let's leave God for some time; I feel I might have been mistaken. I'm going to take charge of my life, you see. And then, of course, I'm over-dramatizing it, but this happens in more subtle-seeming ways. But that is literally what you're doing. I will get to know right from wrong for myself. I will decide what is good for myself. I will decide all these things. And what does that sound like? Adam after eating that bite from the apple, isn't it? We leave the innocence of living in God's life and then we take charge, seemingly, of our life. Not one atom we know how to move, but we think we take charge of our life. But we fall into the same trap again and again.

And usually what happens—usually it's not, 'Oh, now I have time.' So, sorry if I'm digressing, but I saw this episode in the Ramayan. Sugriva was blessed by Ram, saved by Ram, was made the king of Kishkindha, and he felt like, 'Thank you, God, so much. And just like Sri Hanuman Ji, now I am also your bhakta and I will give up my life for you if I have to.' So this was the intention. Then he was going to send the search party looking for Sita Ma everywhere in all directions. But what happened? The monsoon season came. It started raining and it was quite dangerous for them to leave their families with so much rain, with so many obstacles. Their life was in danger and their families' lives were in danger. So Ram, being the compassionate one that He always is, He said, 'No, for my selfishness and for our motive, I cannot risk the lives of so many and put you all in danger. So we will wait till the end of the rains, the monsoon season, and then we will pick up this endeavor again.' So what happens is, whatever it lasts, a month and a half or two months, Sugriva in those two months has forgotten all about this. He's drinking, making merry. Now the king of Kishkindha, he is enjoying himself. So he promised Ram Ji that as soon as the season gets over, next morning I will be at your door with the army willing to start looking, finding Sita Ma. First day has gone, no sign of him, you see? Ram sends a messenger; he doesn't even meet the messenger. You know what must be happening with Lakshman Ji by now? So I feel like by the third day, Ram said, 'No, no, no, he's my friend, he will not betray me ever.' But by the third day, Lakshman Ji had had enough. So he said, 'I'm going to sort this out.' So he goes and he's blazing, you know, blasting. He's just so angry that someone could lie to his brother. The one who saved his life and gave him the kingdom, that one has been forgotten. And then he comes and puts some sense into Sugriva's head because he was completely lost in his bad habits and in his whatever worldly matters. But then he recognized when Lakshman Ji and Hanuman explained to him, then very remorsefully he came.

So this is the nature of the mind. We can have the best intentions, we can say, 'Yes, my life is only for God,' you see? And then one tiny thing comes. 'Oh, you know, but today something... today I have this work, it's very important. Today I have this meeting. Today I have, you know, today a match is on, today something.' So every day a life will go and our best intentions only become a balm for our conscience, you see? Yes, say, 'But my intention is to be with God.' So let's not fall into any of that, any of those traps, because it can happen in the lives of the highest bhaktas, can happen in the lives of the highest devotees, that the mind takes us. Easy. We know the Narad and Krishna story. So all these stories, all these aspects of our history, just show us what mistakes not to make. The wise one, the wise everyone, learns from the mistakes of others. So every moment: God, God, God. It seems beautiful at times. God, God, God. Sometimes every Ram tastes so sweet, you just think, 'What fool could ever leave this?' That fool is this one. And other times the world is... something is happening, and work or relationship, something, something, and you're trying to return to your... you're like so dry. Maybe you have to come back to this later, you know, it's not working really.

So that's why I said, maybe on the walk the other day—I don't know if I said in satsang also—but what we do in the sand is more important than what we do in the honey. When everything seems oppressive, when the world seems attacking, when everything... you feel like attacking your Guru, even God, you're throwing a tantrum with, you see? All these things are happening. Then it is important to regain yourself from the clutches of the mind and return to your sadhana, whether it is your prayer, whether it is your inquiry, whether it is to remain empty, whatever. See, you cannot wait for better circumstances to be with God because then, otherwise, Maya has you by the throat. Then you can never escape this Leela. So what you do when times seem arid and they seem like there's no sweetness in spirituality and it all seems like a sham, you see? The world seems real, God seems like a notion. It is more important then to make your highest endeavors. When there is sweetness and His presence is seeming so alive and sweet and the world is seeming like a tiny blip, then there's no effort anyway. What are you doing? What have you done with any of that? That is grace that you've received. Like, that is God's grace. And when we are in the sand, then it has to be our effort, no? So that is just Prasad, but this is actually the test.

So there is only one end to that mental debate about effort versus grace, which is that whatever you think you can do effort with, you must do. Cannot say, 'Oh, everything is going to be His grace.' We heard in the satsang yesterday also that it's a very popular cop-out to say, 'Yes, yes, but now I found the Master, the Master has to do everything. Now I've given everything to the Master, now the Master has to do everything.' If that was true, that we have given everything to the Master, then we won't even worry about the second part of the statement. But usually it is just a mental excuse. So we are refusing to follow, we are refusing to... one threw a tantrum with Ma. You can correct me, too. That kind of tantrum was amazing. So he said, 'Why you want to throw that? How you remember?' Say the question that, 'Ma, how is your hair so black and silky?' Eight minutes she answered that question, but even as she was explaining what happens in Atma Gyan and they are still like, 'But you know, that is not enough. You have to tell us what is... how can you have such...' She's giving you the whole depth of this, and through it also they're asking her, 'How? But you're not telling us the truth of it. How is your hair so black and shiny?'

I didn't click on it yet, I haven't heard that one yet, but the title was 'Give us the Mantra to have black and shiny hair.' Imagine Ma sitting in front of you and you're saying, 'What is the secret to having black and shiny hair?' So yes, it's amazing, the beauty of the love that she had for all of us. So this question of the Guru's grace or God's grace, which is actually the true Satguru is God's presence within us, can be a very convenient thing. So she said to them that the disciple is throwing a tantrum saying, 'It is said that you come to a Guru and all your karmas are gone, you see? All the grace comes and your life is taken care of, you meet God, you can come to God's feet. But we've been with you for so long, why haven't you done your kripa on us? Why hasn't this grace worked on us?' So she said that it's very important for us to do that grace upon ourselves first. See, what is that? That is the effort. Because we are not... it is just tantruming and lip service because we still want to put effort in other things. See, 'I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that, let's go here, let's go there, this would be good for me, this would be bad for me.' So we're doing all of that, but when it comes to praying, being with God, our sadhana, then we make excuses and we say, 'No, no, but God's grace has to do it.' So then the same message is then the cost of discipleship. See, people want this cheap grace, but grace is a costly grace. What is the costly grace? What is the price of grace? Your entire life. Only one who has surrendered their entire life to God, to the Satguru, to the Atma within, can say that everything must happen by grace. So then otherwise it's a cheap grace saying, 'Yes, yes, yes, I have surrendered to the Master, now Master has to take care,' you see? It has no power, it has no potency like that.

Bonhoeffer took the example of a freshman in college saying, 'Oh, I don't know anything,' versus a philosopher who spent their whole life trying to get to the root of what is true and then at the end they say, 'Oh, nothing can be known. I don't know anything.' There's a difference in the two. Would you say that that one has wasted their whole life because a freshman could have said that in college, 'Nothing can be known,' you see? No, it's not like that because the process of diving within ourself, looking for the truth, is the most exquisite, is the most beautiful, is the most important. So although the content of the words may be the same, the two lives cannot be compared at all. It's like how you say when the baby is born, he's in God-like, but for an adult who's come through the sadhana, you go to them for guidance, not to a baby, you know, or not to a toddler who can speak. Important. Both sage and a baby have great innocence. So then we may say, 'Why don't we just go to a baby for satsang?' Because there is value in getting caught in the delusion and then finding God's grace and finding your way out of that delusion. Although the innocence may be the same as a byproduct of that process, we cannot... grace is not a shortcut for the lazy. This is not a shortcut for the lazy or a convenience. So if you say, 'Oh, I didn't pray today because He didn't call me in the heart,' that is sheer nonsense. Just excuses. There's not a moment when He's not calling us. When is He not calling us? I turn away, I keep switching from Him. Have you ever met God in your heart and He said, 'What are you doing here? I'm busy right now'? No, He's always calling her. Has His presence ever turned us away saying, 'No, no, no, right now I'm a bit occupied'?

So this is the entitlement of our human condition, that He can keep waiting for us. His presence can be there always for us, you see? He should be there as the comforter, as the refuge, but we will decide when to go to Him. Just imagine Krishna or Ram or Jesus waiting for you outside in a room outside your office and you keep Him waiting all day. Why is the presence of God within yourself any different? And then we say, 'How is God so unmerciful? How long do I have to search for Him? Why doesn't He show Himself to me?' Because you took out ten minutes from your day or ten hours in a week and turned to God as He's been waiting your entire life. So the sense always has to be that there's nothing that makes me deserving of Your light, of Your presence, of Your love, and yet I can rely only on Your mercy, on Your compassion. Remember that whether it is Gyan, Karma Yoga, whatever you may be doing, nothing is a path which...

God is so unmerciful, so, you know, 'How long do I have to search for Him? Why doesn't He show Himself to me?' Because you took out ten minutes from your day or ten hours in a week and turned to God, as He's been waiting your entire life. So the sense always has to be that there's nothing that makes me deserving of Your light, of Your presence, of Your love, and yet I can rely only on Your mercy, on Your compassion. Remember that whether it is Gyan, Karma Yoga, whatever you may be doing, nothing is a path which entitles you to God or the truth. Don't feel that because you are inquiring 'Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?' He'll be forced because He has to answer your question, you see? And in that way, no path is greater or smaller than the other because all is ultimately reliant on His will. Whichever path appeals to us in our heart, we must fully, fully, fully dive in.

Our remaining open and empty and inquiring, or using the inquiry to come to intuitive insight where we remain open and empty and true self-recognition, is actually not different from what the Bhakta will call the prayer of the heart, or remaining in a quiet prayer. In a wordless prayer. Quiet prayer does not mean—some child says, 'Does quiet prayer mean that you are just like inwardly whispering the prayer to yourself?' That is a beautiful prayer, but quiet prayer is a wordless prayer, which is just like being open and empty. So all these paths may seem different to the mind, but actually, the way to God looks for thousands and thousands of years since the beginning of humanity... what happened? Still long, yes.

So really the point today is, hopefully by now you are all saying that this is the only meaning of life. If there is a meaning, it has to be this, you see? Which is to come to the realization of God, to come to the realization of the truth, to come to self-realization, God-realization, whatever you call it. That is the only meaning of life, only purpose of life. And in that endeavor, and all of you endeavoring with all your heart, full-heartedly endeavoring for it, then in that process you are going through some challenges, you're going through some obstacles, confusions. The mind is tripping you up. So I can just attempt to help you as an older brother along the path and express to you from my experiences. If I got stuck in the same way, what did Grace show me? What did the Atma's light guide me to? But none of you must think that it's easy.

Can I? When you mention the scene from Ramayana—the Ramayana scene—every statement what Ram is making there... no, I turn this... every statement Ram is making, either to Lakshman or to Hanuman or Sugriva, it's exactly what you are saying to us, Father. You are telling to me. If you see for that Lakshman, he is about to be angry, and also he said that please don't judge from here without looking at what Sugriva wants to say. Then when Sugriva went there, he went to the Sugriva... Sugriva is like lying and literally the girls were dancing in front of him. So I felt like I am sitting there and watching the reels of Instagram, literally, and forgetting God, Father. Literally forgetting. So same, the excuse is same what my mind is. Sugriva says, 'Oh, it's three months, doesn't matter, one or two days here and there, I can catch up with Ram tomorrow also.' Exactly same.

And on the other hand, where Sita, Father... Ravana is trying everything like by fearing her, by scaring her, or by not giving her food, or trying to impress her by showing her power, gold, and everything. But look at that trust of Sita and Ram. That's what everything has been pointing towards. Thank you, Father. I can see Ramayana in a different perspective now.

Yes, that's very true. While all this is happening in Kishkinda, then at the same time Ravana is trying to impress Sita, is trying to scare Sita, is trying to motivate her, is trying every trick that the mind uses to say, 'Come with me, stay with me, become my wife and leave Ram.' So Ravana is very well crafted as a historical figure as well as a character and the narrative to represent the mind.

One more thing. Even Hanuman starts doubting it. And one of the things he says, 'What if I can't see her? I can't meet her? And how will I show my face to you?' So Ram himself is saying, 'I have more trust in you than you have in yourself.' So it's all graceful.

He said to, in fact, the whole army... first the whole army is a bit scared and saying, 'But how will we fight against a huge army of Ravana? We are a small kingdom, we can't fight,' because clearly they were not recognizing the power that they're in the midst of. But this same thing happens with all of us, that we feel that, 'But this world is too strong, it is too powerful, it can hurt us, it can hurt our families, it can hurt our loved ones,' you see? 'Our life will become a mess.' So this fear comes. But if you recognize that the one in your heart is the one for whom this whole universe is nothing, that faith has to keep deepening more and more.

So he was saying that even Hanuman Ji at one point says that, 'This may be the last time I see you, because you've given me this work and if I'm not able to undertake it for you, then I can never bring myself to show my face again to you.' And Ram reassures him and said that, 'I have full faith in you.' And your faith, your Bhakti, will make sure that it happens. Do you understand that he gives the ring that he has to Hanuman Ji, saying that, 'When you meet Sita, give her this ring. She will recognize you as my messenger.' Then that is the level of trust that he had.

What's the mind to God? It's like nothing, you know? And sometimes when you're getting a mind and when I remember that sentence, I'm like, 'What's the mind to God?' I mean, if you turn back, stay there, what can this mind do? But because you said it, and because the heart knows that you are telling us the truth and you believe it fully, then it works, you know? Which is very recently that I remember you saying, 'What's the mind?' Thank you.

That reminded me—it may not seem like directly related to what you said—but one of the ways that we can be empty, open and empty for God, is to not move unless He moves us. So to follow His will is as good as any sadhana. To remain in His presence and hand over your will completely to Him, and hand over everything that you think you want to Him, and the rest of you will follow. We are so reliant on this idea of self-will, independent will. But when will is truly surrendered to God, then your image and other concerns can't really be far behind. So servitude really, at the crux of it, is a surrender of will.

How to check what is your will? We ask this question many times. What do you want? Leave that to God. That is how you truly become a devotee, that you truly become a Bhakta, you become a servant to His will. But also that is Karma Yoga: follow His will without attaching to any outcomes. Otherwise, in Karma Yoga, how would you know what is the right thing to do? Even if you're unattached to the outcome, it is to follow His will. What is the karma? What is the right Dharma? When we follow the right Dharma, then we do the right karma. What is our Dharma? We can never know. We can never know what is Dharma. We can only be guided by His will moment to moment.

So it doesn't matter how high the book, how high the template is, but His will must be ascertained not with our conceptual understanding of Dharma, but by our servitude in our heart to follow His will, because His will is the highest Dharma. So, were the Pandavas fighting in the battle of Mahabharat following Krishna's instructions doing the Dharma or no, you see? But many times they were made to do things which on paper were not the most ethical, saying it lightly, but it's still Dharma because only God has the bigger picture. Only God is the bigger picture.

So the only way that our life can be a true life, a good life, is to follow His will in our heart. Was Abraham doing his Dharma with Isaac? Not on paper, because it seems wrong at every level, but it was the highest Dharma because he was following God's will. These things we cannot understand, and yet that faith led to so much of the world following what is now called abrahamic religions.

Does it feel different when God is moving this body or when I'm moving this body? Is there something that I can...

Yes, if you just feel... 'feel' may not be the right word, but you know when you're in His presence. And if you don't know, it's okay. It's okay. But your endeavor must be to deepen and deepen till you know. If you refuse to move without it being clear to you what is His will, then He will show you in one way or the other. But it may be a little... you need to be very empty to truly do that exercise, you see? Otherwise, the whole process of doing this exercise will become too much of an expression of your will, you see? Can you do this with the prayer? Yes.

Repeat, you say it loudly, it's okay. Don't worry about the mind. You can push through in your prayer. But if there is pride, if there's selfishness, if there is too much exertion of self-will, then you get your answers in the prayer itself, you see? In the sense that the answer doesn't have to be in words that He says to you. No, you're being full of pride in your prayer, but your answer is a feeling of disconnection. Your answer could be a feeling of distance from God, you see? And as we become sensitive to this, then even a moment of distance from Him feels like a... what is the word? Then return is... you have to return.

So the process of prayer that you learn from the outside, from me for example, or from the beautiful books that sages have written, is only the... you know, in India, I don't know if it happens in your country also, but many times when cars don't run, then people have to push so that the starting momentum is there. So the teacher from the outside, the teacher in the books, can only give you that starting momentum. Then the prayer itself teaches you how to pray. It teaches you how to pray because truly you're in the refuge of the Holy Spirit within, and that Holy Spirit will keep guiding you. And if you're open to His guidance, then you will not be stuck in obstacles for too long. He'll keep showing, keep showing. So our sensitivity increases to following His instruction very well.

So yes, your job is to keep at it, but keep at it in a spirit of openness, you see? Keep at it in a way where you're soft on the inside, softer on the inside. So you're not being... maybe outwardly other people around you feel like you're being very strong about it and you're just caught up in your sadhana, but inwardly with God you are soft and humble. And when you're soft and humble, then... what are the words? I have not used words to describe this. How does the Atma teach us? It can teach you in words, but mostly it is teaching you without words, in the light, no? And just, it's like the light. And that's why I don't want to share too much because you'll start visualizing. So don't visualize, but His light will teach you.

You see, there's an inner language which the Holy Spirit shares with you, which all of you will start to recognize more and more. Already you are, because you've taken the first steps towards Him. So you're already moving to His beat now. But as you get used to listening to the fire, the flame within, the light within, it is full of communion, it is full of teaching, it is full of grace. So keep praying with humility and it will get clearer and clearer. It is possible for us to become, you see, proud about our prayer. It is possible for us to become hardened. It is possible for us to think we are doing the best sadhana ever, inquiry. All this pride can get to us. But if we continue to go to our heart, He will guide us. He will tell us also to let go of our pride, show us how we are holding on to things. Like He's showing me hundreds of things, most of which I don't have words to express. But all of us are in that curriculum with the Satguru presence within.

Many hands are up. Let's go to Paula. Hello, Father. Hello, my dear. So good to be here with you.

It is possible for us to think we are doing the best sadhana ever, and all this pride can get to us. But if we continue to go to our heart, he will guide us. He will tell us also to let go of our pride, show us how we are holding on to things—like he's showing me hundreds of things, most of which I don't have words to express. But all of us are in that curriculum with the Satguru presence within. Many hands are up. Let's go to Pia.

Hello, my dear. So good to be here with you. How is it going with the discipleship of the Satguru within, of the Atma within, of the Holy Spirit within? I hope all of you have got a sense of these words now, that when I say them, I'm using them interchangeably so I don't have to say all of them every time.

Clear, clear. Like, yeah, I don't know how it is going. I don't want to be ungrateful, you know, to say it's all wrong or to complain, because it's not like that. I'm very grateful.

Yes, yes. But you can tell me openly what you feel. Because I am not wanting to sound harsh, but if something is not going well, for example—and many days here also things may seem messed up or I may not be happy with my sadhana—I know that it's a grievance against my own self. I'm holding on to my own will too much, you see. So it's not a complaint against God or Guru or teaching or any of that; it's a noticing for ourselves, you see, that we are getting distracted by the world. We are getting caught up in the distractions of Maya. It's that.

It's exactly that, Father. I see that there's a lack of faith. There's a lot of—I mean, when I listen to you, all that you're saying is so true—but during the day, I'm 90% distracted. But on the other hand, I see that more and more there's this pain of being distracted, and that is pulling me to my God.

Very good, very good. Now I want to share a tip with all of you which I learned also recently. In one of the satsangs I was hearing, it was said: if you have fallen, then just get up, you see? And it seems simplistic, actually, but let me explain this. It is to notice the difference. Have you seen a child falling and getting up? They are playing in the playground, they fall, sometimes they cry, and then they just get up and start playing again, you see? And have you seen the difference in an adult? An adult falls off their bike or something; first they're looking around to see who saw. No, first is like, 'Did anyone see?' Second, they're looking for someone to blame, saying, 'Oh, why did they spoil this road?' You know, all of these things. Then they're checking the bike saying, 'Okay, now this has to be repaired and I have to take it for maintenance or I have to buy a new bike.' All this will happen.

So that is the difference. When the sage is saying, 'If you've fallen, just get up,' you see, they're talking about that childlike way. Okay, you recognize you fell. The idea is not to then keep falling more and more into our mind and saying, 'This happened because of this, this happened because of this.' Return to God now. What can happen is that the mind has a trump card over here, you see. So let's dissect it. The mind says, 'Oh, so what you're saying is that you could have made such a big mistake? You could be so distracted for ten years and what you're saying is just forget about it and just return to God? That sounds very convenient,' you see. So what it is saying is, 'No, no, you better sit and feel guilty for one or two years. You say that I have been bad. You better do all of that first because that is how you learn.' And it'll say, 'Otherwise you're just doing avoidance, you're doing spiritual bypassing.' You see, all of these fancy words will come.

But what happens really when we return to God? Is it that God does not show us, that we don't notice where we faltered, where we made our mistakes? It's not like that. I'm not saying that in your heart is like a bliss zone where you go over there and then everything is just forgotten and you're just like that, you see. No, you're in the discipleship of the Satguru within. You learn a lot. You realize your mistakes, you realize your errors. In the discipleship of the Atma, I'm recognizing so many stupid, foolish things that play out here, you see. So we must never feel like it's an avoidance. And we have to rely on ourselves in our minds to recognize our foolishness or our follies—that is how the mind takes it to be. But it's not like that. When you return to the highest teacher in the universe, which is the Satguru presence in your heart, do you feel like he's going to leave us without us recognizing properly where our conditionings lie, where we trip up over and over again? He is not. So even the curriculum and what has to be learned and when it has to be learned, we can leave to him. It is not a bypassing, it is not a spiritual avoidance; it is truly coming to the place where we actually learn and we grow.

That is why, to fall—we will all keep falling because the path is difficult. It is rocky. This Maya is very compelling. There is nobody who can say, 'I'm done with this Maya,' you see. 'I'm 100% done with this Maya.' Nobody can say that. If they are, they are probably caught up a lot in Maya saying that. So it is natural for all of us to keep falling. But truly, if we are true disciples of God, then we will return to God's light as soon as possible. So we'll fall and we'll get up again. We'll commit again not to fall, then we'll fall again, and then we get up again. That is life, you see. And it's a beautiful life like this, although it may not sound like that—that you just keep falling and getting up—but it is the most beautiful life because at least in our attempt to stay with God, we are getting a taste of how it could be to live, getting a taste of heaven.

Yes, Father, yes. And what I see is this falling and getting up and falling is during the day many times. I mean, it's like moment to moment. More and more it is a moment-to-moment thing rather than seeing like the big picture of life and years and all that. No, it's like this hour, the next hour, and the next hour. And that's why I see, my God, I'm too distracted. I have to accept that.

Very, very good. I am saying very good. Some of you may be finding it strange—everyone is talking about constantly falling and noticing it and getting up again, and I'm going on saying very good. Because this is a more reassuring report for me. This is a more reassuring report for me that somebody is noticing. Because like I said, to be free from Maya 100% is beyond human possibility. But to notice it and to say, 'Yes, this is where I trip up, I notice this is what happens, thoughts about this get me, my attachments are still there for these things'—that is the sound of one who is noticing things about themselves, who is working on remaining in God's light more and more and trying to return to God. Versus if I had a child who was saying, 'Yeah, yeah, it's all good. What is falling? What is getting up? It's all him, where can I go?' It's very easy to speak these words, and I will fall at your feet if your words carry the fragrance of his light, you see. But many times it's very easy to just make these conceptual Advaita positions about ourselves instead of really allowing the rubber to hit the road for us to notice the tricks of the mind that we still fall for. Where does Maya get us? Where do we lose focus? We make it about the 'me' instead of God.

So I'm very happy to hear this report because at least then I know that we are walking together. Because I'm walking on the same path, I'm walking on the same road—falling, getting up, falling, getting up. So at least I know that it is familiar. And I also know that you've been in satsang long enough to be able to speak the big words if you wanted to, you see. But you're not doing that. You're not doing that and you're remaining humble and you're looking at yourself in this way. So I'm very happy.

Just lately I just see him and I pray for the mercy of God, Father. And your daily prayer is becoming a huge friend. And also, I don't know how, but a japa is now in my hand. It's the first time in my life that I do this because I feel I need this physical thing. I'm using a japa—I feel the inner guidance because otherwise I don't know, and because I feel I need this physical help, you know, to touch.

It's using a Mala, are you saying? Yes, that's fine, that's fine. And you're very welcome. All the anchoring is available to us, whether in the form of a Mala, whether in the form of our breath. So we can use whatever anchors, you see. I suggested them; feel free to use them. And we must not judge ourselves and say, 'No, no, but if I use a Mala then I'm just a beginner. People are just praying wordlessly in their heart and I'm sitting and using a Mala.' Remember what I told you: the only audience which is important is him, you see. It is not important what tools, what anchoring, whether you take yourself to be a beginner or an expert—none of that is important. What brings you to his light, to his presence, that is the only importance. So don't fall for any worldly side-shows about, 'Oh, how are you doing it? Are you still using a Mala? Oh, I'm praying wordlessly now.' Like that. Be careful of all of these things. So just be true to yourself in your heart because he knows. He is all-knowing and ever-present and always guiding us, except when we get caught up in our pride. Then he says, 'Let this child play around for a bit. Yes, I'm something great? Then okay, play for a bit.' So I'm very happy to hear the humility of your report and keep going like that. Deepen in your faith, in your humility, in your bowing down to God, and keep reporting back to me.

Well, Father, thank you. Thank you for asking me to come every Friday because I feel it is giving a lot of focus and alertness because I know I have to. I also recommend that to the sangha, so please come and talk to Father, please. He's here for us and it's very, it's very powerful.

I'm actually happy to make that offer to everyone, you see. I don't know how it'll work logistically, but I'm happy to make that invitation to everyone because all of you come and share with me how you're doing, where you get stuck, what seems to be working for you, what is the way of the heart that you're following. So that if I can notice some things and help along the way, maybe learn from all of you as well along the way, I'm happy to give that invitation to all of you. Because I don't want any of you to get stuck because of some shyness or not wanting to report, or some idea of independence that 'I will do this by myself' or some notion like that. I don't want you to be just falling for some tiny trick from the mind. And maybe because of your report, I'll be inspired, I'll learn something new as well. So I'm happy to hear from all of you. But if you feel like you get stuck somewhere, you must come up. You must use the opportunity for us to talk about it.

Well, I don't know about the last part, but yes, I know.

No, you don't know. I know.

No, no, actually you don't know. I know how stupid I am.

Oh, don't keep saying that. It's quite true, but thank you, thank you. Love you so much.

Love you, thank you.

Let's go to Peter.

Hello, Father.

Hello, hello, my dear.

I also wanted to check in with you. The last satsangs were very strong for me and somehow it's only recently that I'm really trying to take what you're guiding us seriously. I think it's when you say, 'Are you empty all the time or do you pray all the time?' and I'm really trying to take this seriously now. I feel I didn't do that for a long time and I find it very helpful to use the anchors. I'm trying really, I'm trying to stay with it all the time, but it's really like a gauge. It shows me very, very clearly where I'm...

Recently, I'm really trying to take what you're guiding us seriously. I think it's when you say, 'Are you empty all the time or do you pray all the time?' and I'm really trying to take this serious now. I feel I didn't do that for a long time. I find it very helpful to use the ads, and I'm trying really, I'm trying to stay with it all the time. But it's really like a gauge; it shows me very, very clearly where I'm drifting off and where I'm really not staying with God. This is somehow a bit new and a bit strange, but it feels that it's somehow the right way, you know? In the morning, when I'm sitting just for myself in the morning or with Guruji's contemplation, it's not so difficult to be empty and to really feel God's light. But then during the daytime, I know I'm leaving very often. With the ads, it's not so easy to leave because it shows me when I'm leaving, when I'm drifting off.

Exactly, yes. I'm very happy—again, it may sound strange that I'm saying I'm very happy to hear these reports, but this is what I'm saying, you see. Many times we don't realize how much we leave God's light, how much we leave His presence. So all of you are reporting this, if it feels true to you, that you now know, you can now see how much identification may happen through the day because of work or whatever situations come up in our day. And really, the key is to remain with Him doing His work—the inner quiet work that we are doing—and allowing His life to move the outer work as it needs to happen, you see. So this is very important for all of us to learn because otherwise we can get into this sort of just notion of being empty without really being empty. And I'm very happy that some of you are reporting that. It doesn't mean that the rest of you should say the same thing, only if you feel it is true. But you are reporting that you are noticing now how easily you drift into the Maya, into the 'me,' and leave God's work, leave God's life. Because when you start to notice like this, then I'm very reassured. Then I'm very reassured that that noticing will take you deeper and deeper into His love, into His life. But until we notice, then we remain stuck in some idea of our spiritual life without it actually translating into a true spiritual life.

Yes. And sometimes there arises the question: is there really this strong love for God? Because it's so rare that I feel this really devotional love. Sometimes, like last Friday's satsang when you played all those beautiful bhajans, it was such a strong love for God and it just was so palpable. But often it is just not. And so sometimes I return to listening to them, and then I try to evoke this love again, but it's not so often that it comes right spontaneously out of my heart.

See, the thing is that it is impossible to teach love or to teach us how to love, except for the Atma itself, for the Satguru within. He teaches us how to love as well, and that will deepen more and more. Because can I tell you how to actively love God? If you say 'how,' I say just do it, don't ask how, you see. Because the 'how' part is ineffable; it cannot be put in words. But He will teach you. God Himself will teach you how to deepen in His love. So, so good that you notice. And as you keep praying, as you keep deepening in your inquiry, as you keep deepening in keeping your head empty and heart full with His devotion, He teaches us all things which are impossible to be taught in the world.

Yes, and I feel also there's some faith in this, that this love will just deepen.

There's faith. Very good. Yes, you're going well, my dear. Just keep going at it, and anytime you feel like you're stuck with something, you can always ask.

Thank you so much, Father. Very grateful.

Thank you. You see, when I get these reports, I'm so happy in my heart. I'm so excited about where all of you are going, deepening so beautifully in God's love. Thank you. Okay, let's go to the previous one. Let's go to Charu.

Father, Namaste. Actually, Father, there was a question, now there is no question. Okay, I think I will ask that one because what's happening is during my sleep, deep state—I don't know whether it is a dream or actually it has happened twice—there is a fear coming about leaving this body. And it happens, I don't know how much time, but what really happens is some fear is coming. And actually, I don't have anything to do there and I'm just witnessing. And it's like I'm just witnessing only, and I see myself surrendering to Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi's feet. And somehow it vanishes, that fear disappears. Actually, it happened twice. I thought first it happened, I don't want to share with you, I thought it was just a mind or some dream or something like that. But it happened again, and I just want to share that one only, Father.

Yes, very good. So love is the antidote to all fear, and you bow down to Bhagavan in that devotion. Devotion is full of love. So keep using everything to turn you towards this deep devotion, towards this deeper love. So very good. So whenever this fear comes, or if it comes again, yes, Bhagavan is there supporting you. Just have full faith that He is taking care of you. There's nothing to worry. Sometimes to fear death is okay. You may feel that no fear should ever come, but maybe if you fear a little bit, you will turn to God more. See, because it's coming anyway, and we don't know when it's coming. So this death, or whatever you want to call it, can come anytime. So it's okay to remind ourselves of that. I heard somewhere that—I don't know if it's true, but it's nice to hear—they say that people in Bhutan are the happiest. Some of you know? They're the happiest people. And then people did some exploration into what makes them so happy. It seems that there they are taught to contemplate their death every day. They contemplate their death every day, at least that's what I heard, and yet they're the happiest people. So we must not have this taboo about contemplating death. Even if some fear comes, it's okay. It's a good wake-up call because death is coming. See, many times I try to give you that wake-up call in satsang, you see. So it's okay for this fear to come sometimes. Death is coming, and every time we sleep, we have no idea whether we are going to wake up, see? And which realm we'll wake up in. We don't know whether this was just a dream that is ending. We don't know. So sometimes it's very good to look at these things directly like that. And even if fear comes, fear is nothing so much to fear. Like, fear is not something we must fear a lot. It's fear, it's okay. Why fear so much in fear coming? We don't have to fear that, see? Like other things come—anger comes, hunger comes, fear comes. Okay. But our fear of the fear will make that fear into fear. And if you have fear too much, then it becomes like a vicious circle: 'Oh, there's fear, oh, there's fear about fear,' so more fear, then more fear. Then it feels like endless. It's never endless like that because everything in Maya is only finite. Nothing is infinite; only God is infinite. But it can feel so much. So it's okay once in a while to experience some fear, especially fear of death may turn us deeper to God. Like you immediately turn to Bhagavan, it's good. It's good. Don't fear the fear, let it come. It is also natural for this fear to come because you prayed for being able to bear your own emptiness, and that emptiness is beyond birth and death. And to the mind, that can be very scary. So some of these byproducts will come as you're making these prayers so deeply that you want to remain in your emptiness. May you be able to bear it. The mind will use these kind of tricks of fear, etc., to scare you a bit away from that. Don't worry, just keep at it. You're good. So most of the time, don't worry about yourself at all, even about yourself being empty or fearful. Nothing. Because if you think about yourself being empty, then you're not actually empty, see? Or if you're trying to be empty, then you're not actually empty, you see. So keep your focus empty, open. And if your focus needs to be anchored, then let that be in your love for God. In that way, 'head empty, heart full' is taking care of everything.

Father, what now I say to myself is what Guru has told me to say, that I'm still empty. Just when I know I've already gone with the mind, I took some time to stay in that emptiness. First, I used to let go of everything and just be. That's practice. Nowadays, I'm not listening to such things too much. Only in the morning, I used to be in my bed for half an hour before doing anything. Only that is an actual practice what is happening with me. And that time I use this being empty. Only this is the actual practice happening somehow. Because of the job and all, I didn't get enough time to be in satsang now. But I feel some grace or some assistance is happening throughout the day. I don't know, I myself see that I'm not the one who's doing these things. Somehow my work and all, it happens. I don't know how to explain. I just say to myself, 'I'm not the doer.' That's it.

Which is the 'you' which is not the doer?

When I'm stuck up in my work or something like that, I just try to let go of everything, even the...

Which is the 'you' which is not the doer? The one who is stuck up, you say that is not you. Is that one you?

No, no, it's not.

So, empty. Empty of even the notion of doership or non-doership. When we are endeavoring to be empty, we have to drop every notion and use it at best for communication. So I'm not chopping or anything like that; I'm just hoping that you don't make a position about anything, even including non-doership, you see. So it is very popular in Advaita to say 'I am not the doer,' you see. But it's mostly in the newer days. In the traditional days, people didn't say it so much. Maybe Ashtavakra said it once, Ribhu said it a couple of times. Why it is important to not repeat that as often as it is repeated today is that we can make a new position about the false one being ourself in this way, you see. So like if you say, 'I am not the doer,' you see, but that 'I' is not you anyway. The one who is the non-doer is not you; it doesn't exist, you see. So we may be creating an attachment to this notion of this 'I,' but divested from the notion of doership, see? That's why when we ask, 'Which is the I which is not the doer?' you say, but it doesn't exist. It is only the mental projection, the mental conception of myself. Then if it doesn't exist, it's only a mental projection of ourselves, then why are we attaching to that identity and saying 'I am not the doer'? So best to notice that His light, His presence moves this body-mind. Best to notice that it moves in His light, but don't attach to the idea of either being the doer or the non-doer. Just be empty of that. Otherwise, the other trap is we may say, 'I notice at times that He does everything,' you see, but on other times also He only does everything. So then we should not attach to any of these either way. Just in communication sometimes we can say like that because it gets the point of non-volition, non-agency, all those points across. But don't actually believe or end up identifying with even these ideas. So that way you will really remain empty.

Thank you. Bless you. Bless you. Bless you. Thank you for everything.

Welcome. Let's see. Hello.

Hello, Father. Can you hear me?

Yes, I can hear you well.

Hello. I had a lot of things that I wanted to say, but as I see you talk with other people, slowly and slowly the questions, they start to fade away a bit. But I did just want to say thank you, but also expose something that's...

Agency, all those points across, but don't actually believe or end up identifying with even these ideas. So that way, you will really remain empty. Thank you. Bless you, bless you, bless you. Thank you for everything.

Welcome. Hello, Father. Can you hear me?

Yes, I can hear you well.

Hello. I had a lot of things that I wanted to say, but as I see you talk with other people, slowly and slowly the questions, they start to fade away a bit. But I did just want to say thank you, but also expose something that's just been kind of bothering me, building up a little lately. It's this need for attention inside of me. When I cannot access God through the light or through love, I feel like if I act up and do bad things, then maybe I'll still get His attention somehow. Whether it's God or even you; if I come to you and I say something really naughty, Ananta is going to give me more attention. So if I act bad and I do this, you know, it's been a pattern with me that I've noticed since, you know, upbringing and all that. But it just feels like an easier route to go than trying to act all goody-goody, 'I love you, you love me,' Barney kind of thing, you know? And it just pisses me off so much when I see such purity. I get—it's like I feel like Ravana is boiling inside of me. It's just pressing something and I just want to scream and shout and throw things and say, 'I exist! I have my own anger and my will,' like beating my chest like King Kong. So I just—I want to expose all of this and I want you to just please take it away from me. I'm trying to work on it myself. I went for a walk this morning to try to let this energy come out. I'm trying to be more active. Even when I was walking, and sometimes I walk, I try to do 'Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna' and not be so frustrated. But yeah, I just want to expose this with a little bit of humor as well because, yeah, otherwise I'd go crazy.

But yeah, it's very sweet. I liked it. I like it a lot. So that attention part—you have now, you have my full attention. So yeah, it worked. It worked. But you know what happened is that I'm very familiar with this because when my daughter was younger, then she had this. She did not care whether that attention is an angry attention or it's a loving attention. Yeah, any kind of attention, as long as she got the attention. She's the younger one. So what would happen is that I would be speaking with my son and we were talking about something, you know, and suppose she was not part of the conversation, she would just come and start making some noise—'Ah, oh'—something, you know? She would just make basically saying, 'Look at me, talk to me,' like this kind of thing. So with that kind of thing, it's in my younger one. She had it a little. I feel like she settled a bit with that now, but I can understand how that works.

But I would say don't try to get God's attention in this way, in that, all right, by doing something what you call bad or something like that. He has your full—you have His full attention. You have His full attention. And we talked about that earlier. You must look at God like the one who is writing your story. He is writing every move, He's writing every breath, He's writing every heartbeat, you see? So He's never, ever inattentive towards us. Never inattentive towards us. It is our attention that wanders. It is our identification that gets caught up in Maya. But He is always with us. So you never have to worry about having His attention. Even if you want to hide from Him, we can't, you see? Suppose we say, 'No, I don't want His attention now. I don't want Him to see me like this.' But He sees us. He knows us. And that might sound a bit fearful initially, but actually, it's a great reassurance that this loving, kind, merciful Father is always with us. And even if He has to chop us down in some way, it is for our own good. It is for our own good. And we need that tough medicine when those things happen.

So just try to remain with Him with all your attention. You never have to ask for His attention, actually. He loves us so much that He's constantly with us. And this man on the outside is just a representative of His presence within yourself, and a very tame, lame representative as far as representatives go. But this much I can tell you for certain: that He's always with you. You never have to clamor for His love, for His attention, you see? Because actually, what is behind the children's need for attention? It is just the need to be loved, isn't it? It is even though we may say that even if it's anger, I don't mind, but actually we feel like we belong, that we are there, that He cares about us through this instrument of external seeming attention for now. But once you notice that actually it is about really about your attention being with Him, that He's always with us. Like we were saying earlier, God has never turned us away saying, 'I am busy right now, so you can't be with me.' So He's always available to us, always present for us.

So it's good, good you shared this sort of frustration and tantrum that happens with you. And it happens with a lot of my children in the satsang as well, besides my biological children. So it's very sweet, and may this get converted into your deepening of your attention towards God, you see? Because the mind always flips things around. So if you start, if you really notice, He's always with us. His attention is always with us. And I mean it very literally, that He knows every heartbeat, every breath, much more than we can ever know. He knows about us. So just trust that and keep going with your sadhana, with your prayer. I'm fully, fully, fully with you in this. And don't get affected by other reports, you see? I'm sure all of us at some level feel there are times where things are just shanti, shanti, and there are times where that frustration comes. Just like you can't believe everything you see on Instagram, don't—everybody has their ups and downs. So don't feel like others are winning some competition or something like that. There's no competition like that. It's not a race. Just bless everyone, pray for everyone, love everyone.

Father, one more thing. Can you pray for my older cousin?

Yeah, what is their name?

Salil. I say again, Salil.

Salil. Salil, okay. Yeah, for Salil. Thank you, Father. Thank you.

So welcome. Bye-bye. Okay, let's go to Anu. What is the serious question?

Thank you so much, Ananta Ji. I am so sorry to come up again with nothing really to say. And you answered all the questions I wanted to ask. This time she may not laugh that much because she didn't start off that seriously. It's when she starts off very seriously does she go into that laughter. Now she's not looking that serious today.

The room, the room is expecting a repeat performance.

I tell you, it is like it is not me who is laughing. It is really like you step into me somehow and this is—you push me out and this is somehow your spirit too. I don't know. Even when you ask, 'Who is the one who—what to do with the one who builds itself up during the week?' and that time when you are laughing in me, it is so funny. Even the thought that there is any reality of this one, and still week by week something building up itself. And there are so many tools, Ananta, you give to us, so many tools to our hand to return back to God, but nothing is like your presence. And I was so long time, I was kind of like, I said to myself, 'It's not fair. I cannot be always with like others in the satsang, always sitting there.' And now today I understood. Somebody said it is like a grace to be with you, and after we have to do the work, we have to even do the effort. And it is like this. And I just understand because always there was a fight inside me against this, that my karma is not like this and my destiny, why is it not like this? And still I can—I just had to tell this. And yes, very okay, just for a little with Father.

Very good. So through the rest of the week, yes, it is upon us to remain empty or to remain constantly in our prayer, or both or either, but not leave God for even a moment. That should be the intention. If our intention deeply is that we must not leave God even for a moment, then we may leave Him a lot of the time still, but at least our commitment is to be with Him fully, truly, you see? But if you don't commit like that, then we are just allowing the mind, the Maya, to have its way with us, you see? And then what happens is that then our spirituality just becomes a once-in-a-week type thing or during the satsang type thing; that we are being empty in satsang, we are being prayerful in satsang, we are being loving towards God in satsang, but during the rest of our life it is seemingly running on autopilot, but actually running in the oppression of the mind. So it is for us to just keep like that. Be empty, be praying throughout the week as well. Don't worry if laughter is coming, it's fine. I tried to control it a lot there. I was answering seriously, so she tried to control, don't mess up, but... thank you on behalf of everyone. Thank you.

When we were—I spent a few years in Delhi growing up. So in Delhi we used to have this amusement park called Appu Ghar. I don't know if you all know. So there was this laughing man machine in the Appu Ghar. So you have to put some money and then that machine would start laughing, laughing, laughing, and everybody, all of us would laugh listening to that. So you're getting the benefit of that without having to buy the ticket. It's natural for this. Everybody has a different way in which the release happens, so it's whichever way it is happening naturally is completely fine. Okay, let's go to K.

Hello, Father.

Hello. Thank you. Okay, welcome.

I think I'm the crying one. It's fine. I know. It came to me few minutes ago that He actually puts this love in my heart and the joy to be with Him, and it's not my poor practice or commitment or something I'm doing.

Yeah, so lucky. We are so lucky that that is the case. Because suppose His love, His joy, His peace, His light came as a result of our doing? I don't feel like any of us, especially this man, would be capable of that doing. So we are very blessed that in our innocent crying like a child, in our innocent calling out to His love like a child calls out to their mother, He recognizes that. He graces us. Because if I had to do it, I feel like all of us would fail at doing it. But that innocence, that helpless longing to be with Him must never be clouded in our pride, in our lack of faith, in our absence of the feeling of servitude towards Him, of devotion towards Him. But whether His presence is felt, His love is felt, all that is a product of Grace. But our job is to keep setting the table, like Shabri for decades setting the path for Ram to come in spite of the whole world thinking, believing that she is mad or stupid. So our job is to set the table for the guest to come. When He comes is up to Him, but we have to set the best for Him with our faith, humility, gratitude, love, obedience.

I also sense that when I don't—when I'm complacent or lazy, I attract some sort of energies which are then requiring lots of practice to clean out, if it makes sense.

Yes. And it's not so much about the energy, it's just even let's call it the sense of disconnection from our heart, you see? Which is—which happens whether we like it or not when we are focused on Maya, on this realm of appearances. When we give it reality, then we feel the sense of disconnection from Him in our heart. Although intellectually we know that without His light nothing can ever appear, but that is no longer our living experience; it's just a conceptual idea. So when we experience that feeling of disconnection, we never know when His grace is upon us again and we feel that sense of connection with Him again, you see? But we can only keep setting the table for Him over and over. That is why it's best and we must make the full commitment to not leave. Because once He is here, He never leaves. We leave.

Our heart, although intellectually we know that without his light nothing can ever appear, but that is no longer our living experience; it is just a conceptual idea. So when we experience that feeling of disconnection, we never know when his grace is upon us again and we feel that sense of connection with him again, you see. But we can only keep setting the table for him over and over. That is why it's best, and we must make the full commitment to not leave, because once he is here, he never leaves. We leave. And that is the power of his own Maya, that it is so compelling that we become complacent about his presence and we say he can wait, our other thing is more important at the moment. But he never leaves us once he comes. So once he's with you, then just allow yourself to be fully dissolved in his light so you never leave him, you see. But when you do, then just try to swim back home as fast as you can using the tools that satsang has provided to you.

Can I ask you something which is practical in a way, like from the practice? But sometimes after contemplation or, yeah, sleepiness comes. And sometimes I resist to it and I go for a walk and I pray during my walk. If I sleep, then this energy, this deadness comes and, yeah, I don't know how to overcome that.

Yes, this we will be guided in our heart moment to moment because many times we are not able to distinguish. Sometimes a deep samadhi may be setting in, but the mind will say, 'But you're going to sleep.' But your heart can guide you because many times it's also sleep and laziness. So we can't make a template and say you must always do this. So you're doing your sadhana, which is good. Whether God is pulling you deeply within your heart and the world seems to be dissolving—and that to the mind can seem like sleep is coming—or whether you really just, like, there's a lethargic energy about it and it is falling asleep, you see, both these things are quite different. But in the play of the world, they seem quite similar to the mind; they seem the same. So you have to rely on your heart guidance, on the Satguru presence, which will tell you to stay alert and attentive, and on other times where you're being pulled into a deeper samadhi, then it'll allow you to just let go, let go of the world and let go of everything. So it's impossible to give you a cookie-cutter answer, sort of to say which is which. You have to check for yourself.

Yeah, I'm more afraid of the lethargic energy rather than the samadhi that would help.

Because even when you go to sleep at night, no, you have to sleep for some time. So we don't know what all adventures we will encounter in our consciousness in those realms that we call dreams. We don't know what experiences and how many millions of years of time may be experienced in those states. So those things we can't help. But what we can do is the first thing when we wake up: don't engage with the world, don't engage with anything till we fully come back to the presence of God. And if it is taking time, then spend the whole day waiting for his presence to become palpable before you start engaging with things of the world. Sorry, my daughter just—I heard her laughing voice. Yeah, as you deepen in your sadhana in the waking state, then you won't, after you wake up from sleep, you won't be so deadened by the energy, whatever the energy may be.

Yeah, there was a Romanian sage who was saying that he was sleeping with his hands on his head to protect himself during sleep.

Sweet. Whatever works for whoever is good. I don't know, you want to try that? You could. But there's also the nature of mind to give us, put us into like these tight spots with seemingly uncontrollable problems. But really the question is, during the rest of the time where this energy is not so lethargic, when you're not feeling so dull from it or deadened from it, then are you fully, fully with God? That is, you see. So work on that part first, then we'll tackle this thing, you see. Otherwise the mind will take away even those times where you're not that oppressed by these energies and worrying about all of that. Instead, be fully with God in all the other times, then let's see what happens. Whatever tools you have at your disposal, whatever aspect of your being you have at your disposal, use that to serve God in the rest of the time, then all this will get wiped clean. Amen.

Thank you. Very welcome. Bless. Thank you so much, Father.

Very welcome. Thank you.

I also want to share something, a story. When I was in Australia, there was a sangha from Sahaja who is going through some difficult moments. I see. Then Sahaja organized like a prayer kind of day in Shiva. So it came to my heart that I can organize a Zoom session with the Australian sangha to pray for her, and we did that. And yeah, it was so beautiful and full of light. Then I invited the sangha if they want to have like a regular prayer meeting. And there is a sister who comes to you, who joins this prayer meeting. It's just the—and it's just, I said, it's just the two of us. Ah, just the two of you these days that we join regularly on Saturday evening Australia time. And she brought your prayers in the meeting. She brought the beggar servant and then the Jesus prayer and so, so beautiful. And it's very powerful to be together. And it's many times, you know, Jesus says, 'When two or three gather in my name, I'm with you.' It feels, it's yeah, it feels it's very true in these meetings and very good.

Love blessings to all of you who gather in God's name and Guruji's name. Full, full blessings. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. Welcome. Let's go to Radheshyam Ji. Father, because you say Radheshyam first, then you say Ram Ram, it's like a full satsang. Very good, very, very, very. That's cool.

Let's go to Sedo. I have a humble request. Yes. My university teacher, this sincere devotee of Shri Ram, is just going through the terminal phase. Her body is going through the terminal phase. And if I can show her picture and I could ask you and the sangha for a prayer and blessing. And please share her name as well. So, Man Kiera Mana is her name. Man, Man, Man. What for? Thank you so much, beloved Father. Thank you so much, sangha. Thank you.

Let's go to Samia with some familiar faces from Bangalore, Kripa and Sangita with... Hi, Father.

Hello. Can you hear me well?

Yes, yes, yes.

Oh, okay. Thank you, Father, for this gift.

Very welcome. You said you wanted to come to Bangalore, so we sent Bangalore to you.

Yeah, I saw it. It just happened so fast. Yes. So, yeah, always answering prayer and just so immediately. Thank you. Yeah. So where are you all right now? Looks like you're in a cafe.

In a cafe. Okay. Yes. For such time we have come to a cafe. Sorry, Father, I just felt so much burning and that's why I want to come. Yeah, yeah. It was all good till such time, but I know what it is about, but I don't know if I want to open that up again. But it's just so clean in my heart.

You see, his grace has already shown you that he's with you, he's blessing you so much, and how he hears every intention that you have. So just keep your faith in him and allow it to unfold in his light, in his love. I'm with you in your heart as well, and you're with me here as well. Still burning? It's okay, it's okay. Where are the kids? There? Okay, they must be super bored by now. They've gone all the way to Turkey, over there also. Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't ask your parents to do this. Okay, we will enjoy after. Thank you, Father. Yeah, a little bit of patience. Give them a good time after this. Yes, yes, we will. And we will give us a good time as well. Yes. Thank you. Sorry, it became a little bit emotional meeting, not so joyful with time, but yeah, completely fine. It's always welcome. Thank you, thank you. Love you, Father.

Okay, let's go to Jason.

Namaste, Father.

Namaste.

I just want to say hello and I want to expose something because I feel not to expose that I sometimes feel some doubt towards you because lately you sometimes say things like you have to wait for two years until you can find results, and Guruji always said it's now, it's now, and you don't wait. And so, but today I feel your love very much and I thank you and I feel I trust you and I love you.

Oh, I love you. Thank you. Thank you for sharing that. It's very sweet, actually. Yes, yes, yes. The true insight, the highest insight about who we are is always now. Now, to hand over our existence, our life to God, we cannot say, 'I will do it tomorrow' or 'I will do it in two years.' That also has to be now. So what do I mean when I say two years you have to wait? It is because when we are learning to live in the heart, we are learning this process of moment-to-moment being in his presence, in his light. Then the mind comes up with the progress reports, with pride saying, 'Yes, see, I did it,' or with guilt saying, 'Oh, it's not working for me, nothing is happening, I'm not feeling God's light,' all of that. So both instant insight, instant devotion, when looked at in the process of a human life, the mind can trick us by making us proud or making us frustrated and saying that nothing is happening. So be instantaneous for at least two years before we make any sort of conclusions about whether our spirituality is working or not. So right now, right now, right now, but don't judge. Don't allow the checker guy to say, 'Yes, it's working, I'm free,' or 'No, it's not working, it will not happen for me,' you see. And both these phases come to—the mind uses both of these. So instead of getting caught in that, we get distracted by that progress reporting and worrying about the 'me, me, me' instead of just in the moment staying with God. So just be with God moment to moment, every moment. Yes, it is in an instant, but let's not worry about some conclusion, some final result for this one, at least for two years. Let us settle deeply in our prayer, let us settle deeply in our inquiry, in our openness before we make any conclusions about our progress or lack of progress. Thank you. It's very sweet of you to bring that up. It can seem like a big contradiction to the mind, of course, and I'm well aware of that.

And also, I know you have heard this before, but with prayer you offer Atma. I sometimes I do it, but the part with the sinner I still feel uncomfortable with because it feels like a judgmental concept, like you sin. Yeah, I can like to say I'm a no one, I'm—I don't know anything. But 'sinner' feels, yes, uncomfortable.

Yes, and we're sharing now, but when this prayer first came like this, most of the sangha was resisting it and saying, 'Oh, but this sinner concept is full of too much guilt and, you know, it's—I don't want to call myself a sinner and I'm not a sinner, God loves me fully,' you know, all this thing. So I tried to clarify for most of them, and I feel like we're starting to get a sense of what that word actually implies. So if you were to say, 'Okay, let's forget about the word sin for a moment. Let's say on the path of spirituality, what is the error of our ways that we are going to change, or we are trying to change?' There must have been some error in our ways. We must be taking ourselves to be someone that we are not. We must be trying to live in our individual will. Our mind's oppression must be seeming like freedom to us. So a lot of this misunderstanding about who we are and therefore then what our life should be like, how we should live—all of these errors we make before we come to the refuge of a true master who can guide us and show us that these ways will get us more and more involved in avidya, in the faults, in Maya, which is just the realm of appearances. But there is a correction of those ways which is possible, and you can live in the way of the heart; it is another way to live. So that error, that error of taking ourselves to be something that we are not and taking our individual want and will to be higher than God's will, you see, is what has been called sin, paap, in Indian spirituality as well as in Christian and other world religions. It is the same thing. In fact, in India, some of the greatest...

Faults in Maya, which is just the realm of appearances, but there is a correction of those ways which are possible. And you can live in the way of the heart; it is another way to live. So that error, that error of taking ourselves to be something that we are not and taking our individual want and will to be higher than God's will, you see, is what has been called sin, pap, in Indian spirituality as well as in Christian and other world religions. It is the same thing. In fact, in India, some of the greatest sages have called themselves mahapapi, maha agyani, which means great sinners, greatly deluded ones, you see. Mostly from the Bhakti tradition, where sages like Tulsidas Ji, Surdas Ji have said that, 'I am the great foolish one, the great sinner, the great one who has taken conceptual knowledge to be true knowledge.' Why do they say that? In fact, if we were to look at this error-making, they were probably the ones who were making this error the least. See, they were doing this what we are calling sin the least, and yet they were calling themselves the greatest sinner.

So in one of the satsangs I heard that Gandhi Ji himself, Mahatma Gandhi, said that what happened with them is that their benchmark itself changed, where to go with their individual will even for one moment seemed too much away from God's light. And in that contrition, in that repentance, in that noticing of the error, they said that, 'I am the greatest fool, I'm the greatest sinner, and I beg for your mercy, I beg for your forgiveness.' So if this making this error of going with our individual way, living on our own mind's terms instead of waiting for God's will to move us and guide us, is the traditional definition of sin, then I have to say that I haven't met anyone, especially this man who is speaking these words, not a sinner in the way the original term was meant. So it is very important for me myself in my prayer, and to suggest to all of those who follow my words to some extent, to remind them to admit our fault, our error; and that injects a dose of great humility in our prayer.

And I know that many of you will still not like the word, may not even follow this, because there may be some childhood conditioning, some aversion to these kind of things, and I completely understand it. Maybe many years ago I may not have liked this word as well. But I can only offer; I cannot force any of you to take it, or I cannot enter you during your prayer, at least in a physical way, and check whether you're saying 'a sinner' or not. So as long as you're praying, it's still good. But I have to share with authenticity what I feel has helped this one and what I feel will help all of you the most. Now, nobody can force a gift on another one; I can just offer. So follow as much as you feel in your heart, and then your Atma, the Atma within, the Holy Spirit within, will guide you as to how to take it forward. And it's very much completely possible that I'm being foolish as usual, so maybe I'm completely mistaken about this word. I'm open to that conclusion as well. It's highly likely with the amount of foolishness I do every day; it will not be a surprise, you see. So don't worry. Just follow your heart, pray in the best way that you can, and in the way that brings you to His presence, to Ma's presence behind you—she's watching us—to her presence the most, and the rest will take care of itself.

Yeah, also because we're speaking, yeah, so this leaving God's presence sometimes, it's very painful. As you say that, when some distraction comes, like I go to YouTube and see some videos and I don't know that, but it feels not good. And yeah, it's painful to leave God's presence. So please, please bless me that I may always, always be in God's presence and in light.

Always think of Him. May you remain always in His light, in His love. Full blessing is there. Thank you. Thank you for sharing openly, and it's very good when we can speak like this and it doesn't leave anything hidden, you see. So the mind doesn't have ammunition to play with; it's out in the open. And we can just present our perspectives to each other, and then Grace has to unfold in the way Grace has to unfold. But I'm very glad you came up and you just shared like that. Very good. Yes, let's go to Lila.

Can you hear me okay? Yes, good now. Yes, I've not been in your satsang before. I didn't think I'd speak, but this is so beautiful. And I just feel, I just feel it is easy sometimes to... you're very... when I hear you, it's easy to feel like this is it, I won't go back into some, I won't believe another thought or something. And then maybe I step out and I see other people seem to be acting a little personal. I think, 'Yeah, seems okay for them,' you know, a little bit like that. And I live with sangha, I live in San Martino in Portugal, so I feel like... so then I think, 'Oh, will the sangha seem okay just to...' Oh, I'm not judging anybody, I'm just saying, I'm just kind of hoping to expose it and kind of ask for that blessing that I don't think to act differently or to start being an audience, having an audience of other people. I just really found what was shared today very like everything I need to hear, and so beautiful. And I like that.

So nice. Welcome, welcome to satsang here. And I'm so happy that it touched your heart in some way. Just feel free to share whatever you feel. Sometimes you may feel that there's something that stops you from being in God's presence; sometimes you may feel that you're trying something which is really helping you. It may inspire the others also; it may inspire me, I may learn something in the process as well. So just feel at home and feel free to share what you feel is helping you, what you feel gets in your way at times. And I'm very happy to meet you in this way. And may God and Guruji bless you so deeply. May you always shine in their light. All right, let's go back to... did you want to come up again, Sam? No? Okay. Let's go to Dy.

Hello, hello my dear. Sorry to come so late. I just felt I wanted just to say hello and just put myself out.

And yeah, very good. You can always do that, and you never have to worry about the time and things like that. If I'm too tired, then I'll tell you all; don't have to worry. Yeah, you want to give me some quick report about how it's going for you?

Well, yeah, it's like every Friday I feel inspired and I start like with a fresh energy, and then on the week sometimes I get a bit stuck. And yeah...

Well, that's part of my job. That's part of my job to try and reinvigorate the sadhana, to inspire all of you to deepen. That's why we have satsang. So it's good, it's good.

Yeah, I have to say sometimes it really feels very difficult still. And even praying, sometimes I get stuck because there's so much, I don't know how to say, negativity, strong energies inside. And I feel I pray and sometimes it gets worse and I'm like, 'Oh my God, how... what to do? I don't know.' And sometimes I give up because of that, I have to say.

Yes, I can understand. I can understand that the realm of Maya, the play of the mind, wants to keep us away from the prayer, so it will seem like things get amplified or more difficult at times. But know that He's always with you and He knows your intention always. So if you're praying to Him, it is never unheard. He's always aware of your intention to be with Him. And I'm very happy, I'm very proud of you that in spite of all this attack, you still keep at it and you come to satsang every Friday.

It is... well, I have to say sometimes I give up and I even feel many times I feel I don't want to come, but then I come and I see actually it's so much helping. And I don't know, it's Grace that I keep coming, really.

It is Grace. It is Grace that makes satsang happen also. I noticed that many times on Friday, in Maya, the body starts feeling ill, you know, all these things happen here also. And somewhere many times this sense comes that, 'Okay, maybe today we can cancel satsang.' But just Grace makes it happen, and I feel so good during satsang time. So it still plays with all of us in these ways. So in that way, we are all in this together, facing the same resistances and things. So just like this, keep at it, and His Grace is taking care, is going to bless you more and more. Your love is going to deepen more and more. Very good. Good that you don't give up; that's the important thing. That's the important thing. And there are times where we give up, but then to get up next day and start again is important, you see. So it can feel like a struggle sometimes. It's okay. Thank you. Very good. Very good. Okay, thank you. Thank you.