Self Realization, Self Recognition - 14th June 2017

So, this is what we are looking at. In the middle of this illustration is the sense of my existence, 'I am.' The nature of the mind is such that it can only focus on that which is moving on this side. What is on the other side, it cannot fathom, it cannot perceive. So, you know that the mind will not be able to help you come into a recognition about this. It might offer you a concept about this, but it truly can't help you with this recognition or insight about this. This insight has to be more primal; it has to be more direct, without the interpretation of the mind. So, if you lift the veil of phenomena, is there nothing else to 'I'? Is there nothing else to 'I'?

If you keep all phenomena away—and as I was sharing last time, a playful way to look at the same thing—if you put everything that you perceive in a basket called 'seen.' Everything that you perceive, you put it in the basket called 'seen.' 'I see this,' so it goes into the basket. 'I see the world,' in the basket. 'I see the body,' goes in the basket. 'I perceive my breath,' goes in the basket. 'I perceive my thoughts, emotions,' go in the basket. 'I perceive, I'm aware of even the sense that I exist'—see, even this goes in the basket. So now, are you completely inside the basket, partly inside the basket, or not inside the basket at all? Wait until I say so, then you see. What is left outside the basket?

Now, some of you might be having now the experience of your non-phenomenal Self when all the dynamic aspects of yourself have been put in the basket. And the impulse sometimes can be that 'I need to hold on to this.' First intention: 'I need to hold on to this.' But instead of that, today you try to put this or jump into the basket. Even that which is aware of every phenomena, can you put that also in the basket? Jump in completely and see if there continues to be an awareness, a witnessing of this basket. In spite of all your attempts to jump in, can you be contained in this phenomenal basket? Or is there a greater aspect of you? And 'greater' also, I know in spatial terms it doesn't fully apply, but you get the sense of what I am saying. Can the source of all phenomena itself get fully contained in the phenomenal basket?

So now we looked at two clues, isn't it? We looked at the first clue, which is to say that everything that is perceived, all phenomena, is on this side. Can we look at what's on this side? And another way of looking at the same thing was to use the basket metaphor to say that everything that is perceived can be put inside this ring, can be put in the label called 'seen.' Is there something which cannot be encompassed in this label? Let me give you one more clue. So, I exist. And this one you've heard from me before: the sense that 'I exist.' Some of you are still struggling to find the sense of existence, and it seems just like a mythical entity right now. For some things, you know my favorite question for this is to try and stop being. Can you not be right now?

In your attempt to not be, you will encounter your own being, presence, which is just present. Being, which is just here, Consciousness itself. There are two ways to approach this question. The first way, when I say 'Can you stop being?', the first way you could do is you could say, 'Of course not. What kind of question is that? I can't stop being.' It is just there. That is the mental answer. The second way to approach this question is to actually make this attempt to not be. For an instant, I don't exist. And you will notice your own being, your presence, because it will not move. So you are now aware of your own existence. So you say, 'I can't stop being. Being is just here.' So then this answer comes from a place of insight; then it is a useful answer.

Now, the third clue is: which one is aware even of this being? What are the attributes of this one? What are the qualities? What is the flavor? Look at the size or shape of this one. It is now also naturally, effortlessly aware of your existence. Again, it is not about the reporting, it is not about the right answer; it is to use these questions to come to a direct insight about the unchanging Self. As you are asking yourself these questions, you might find that something starts fluttering on the phenomenal side. It could be the mind, it could be some emotions, it could be some story, it could be the body, it could be your outside environment. So, let all of these things just come and go. Consciousness itself has the power to do this. It is only playing as this; it needs no direction. So, whatever has to jump around the phenomenal side of it, we let that jump around. No sense of impatience or rush. Just stay with the question: What is aware of my existence?

Some of you, the mind might be screaming and saying, 'There's nothing there! There's nothing there!' What is about it? It's not enough to just know it is nothing. Actually, to know it is nothing is to actually be in denial of it, the idea of nothingness. It's like an empty glass, absence of phenomena. What you will discover about yourself—because this is where we know beingness is yet without attributes and qualities—I completely realize that these words don't make any sense to the mind. And yet, as you come to the recognition of this, you will know what I am pointing to. Because although it is empty of quality and attributes, it is not the nothing of the empty room or the empty glass. It is the 'no-thing' which is the source of all things, the source of your own existence. It is self-aware. The source of existence implies the source of all intelligence, the source of all that can be conceptualized, that can manifest with your own self-support. Although it is 'no-thing,' come to the insight about this motionlessness, which is the Self.

On which side of 'I am' does this Consciousness want to play now? On this side of 'I am,' this existence wants to play. This does not mean, by the way, that once the recognition is available, once the recognition is made about the source of existence, it doesn't mean necessarily that the play of existence will stop or it must stop. The play of existence can continue. In fact, it will become the play only with the recognition of the source. Then, as much as we like, it wasn't truly seen like a play because it can seem like 'I am a phenomenal entity contained in this phenomenal world and therefore can be attacked or affected by the phenomenal appearance and the disappearance.' And to see that your Self is the source of all phenomena and yet, at the same time, remains untouched and unchanging. In phenomenalism, start to enjoy this lack of sleep also.

The mind can come with the trick and fear: 'This means that I must be in denial of phenomena.' We are saying the opposite. Be completely inclusive of all phenomenal appearances, but just look beyond. You don't have to push away any phenomena in your linear experience, but also look beyond. And how to look beyond? Those three simple pointers, as I said today already. This is the direct path to the recognition of the Self. And most of you, having been in Satsang and since listening, so today we'll share only with those who have mostly been in Satsang with me for some time. Most of you have insights about this. Direct insight of the Self is not something that seems like an abstract concept or something unachievable. For most of you, all of this is actually meant for the transcendence of the limited idea we have about ourselves. As we are coming to the discovery of that which is prior to all phenomena, which is not constrained by any boundaries, we are realizing ourselves to be that which is prior to even Consciousness. Consciousness itself coming to the recognition of its own source in its play of the union and self-recognition with all that is happening now. So, as you are coming to the recognition of the Self...

All of this is actually meant for the transcendence of the limited idea we have about ourselves. As we are coming to the discovery of that which is prior to all phenomena, which is not constrained by any boundaries, we are realizing ourselves to be that which is prior to even consciousness. Consciousness itself is coming to the recognition of its own source in its play of the union and self-recognition with all that is. So, as you are coming to the recognition of the Self, the mind will continue to make offerings to you, pointing you back to your limited nature, reminding you that you are a limited entity after all, in spite of your recognition. Otherwise, the mind will continue to make these appeals to you and come up with things like, 'It is okay for the satsang, but what about the real world?'

The challenge is that you feel there's a limited self that actually took birth and you are that. Suddenly, or latently, in most messages from the mind, it contains the story of our limitedness. In this story, you are limited entities trying to get to the Self as well. That is why the recognition of what you are right now is important, because no matter what the life circumstances might be, what the age of your body might be, anything, what the quality of your emotions might be, which kind of thoughts might be coming, all of these are the tumor and the mind. Their insight about the Self is to change; therefore, this must be unchanged. The Self is ever-present, even more than ever-present, because presence itself is an object to the Self.

Because we have limited ideas about ourselves, the mind is your limited idea, which is this consciousness referring to consciousness itself. Consciousness playing with ideas of limitations, moving as a limited entity, holding as a person, posing as if it exists—the mind in this Leela that is in play. So, satsang is nothing but these two aspects which are completely interlinked: the recognition of what is truly here, what is it that I truly am even before, and how is it that I hold this and something that is limited? How do I show that I am a person? The dissolution of this belief in this idea of limitation is interlinked very strongly with the recognition of the Self. And the recognition of the Self is interlinked with consistently giving itself a space for this recognition by not believing itself to be what the mind is saying.

That way, the recognition of the Self and the letting go of limited concepts—letting go of our identity—are the two main aspects of satsang in the truth. Now it is up to you, as consciousness: how will you move next? Which is more powerful? Or will you continue to remain with your insight about what you are? Consciousness is completely free. It is more amusing than anything else to presume that you are an entity lying on this side of your existence, like a body-mind entity. Use whatever terminology you want to use. It is more natural, actually, to feel that you are that which is aware even of this existence. That is why consciousness has given itself this divine hypnotizer called the mind. It has convinced itself for most of our existence that 'I am just a small entity lying on this side of my existence, that which can be perceived.'

And so, as long as the ego exists, the question should be checked: What is the source of my existence? Who am I really? The 'I' that is existing seems like a very rare question. If you look at all the power players who give it to some grace, this question came into our life. If your mind is saying, 'I haven't understood anything, I've been sitting here for one hour and I'm going to tell you, you're speaking and I haven't got a clue what you're talking about,' don't worry about it. Actually, the good way to look at it is that we have bypassed the mind because you're still here. Often, it boils down to the sense of existence or the portal which goes both ways, the bridge. So, on this side is this entire phenomenal play of emotions and thoughts and slowly using life and family relationships. I'm not saying that we must vanish; you can also go through it. But just a little bit of attention towards this side of the portal, a little bit of looking as to the source of this 'I am.' What is the 'I' in 'I am'?

All of you have been here long enough to hear this question: What is the 'I' in 'I am'? Why is it 'I am' and not 'you am'? Or is it 'I am aware of this entire existence'? This is almost objective in a way, isn't it? 'I am aware of this entire existence.' So why don't we call it who you are? Why don't you say 'everything I am'? Get a little bit of attention towards this 'I am.' How could you lie? You know, the questions don't mix. And this is okay, let them land somewhere. How come it is 'I'? Which 'I' is actually a much-maligned word, especially in spirituality? We maligned it completely. That 'I,' I think, goes... I like very much how Mooji explains it. He says 'I' is actually just a label for the chameleon 'I.' It's a chameleon 'I' which is used for the entire spectrum. He says the devil says 'I' and God says 'I.' Like, what means the mind using the words? What is the limitation?

We use 'I' for the body: 'I am five-foot-five.' Or the body uses 'I' for our feelings: 'I'm feeling bad.' For any sensations, we believe the 'I.' Or 'I' as... and beautifully, we attach 'I' to the thoughts. We also use 'I' for our attention. Many times in satsang, this happens. You see, it's just completely clear when sitting with you, so clear, but 'I get stuck.' And some say, 'I get stuck to my relationship,' 'I get stuck.' Which 'I' will be referring to our attention? 'I get stuck with my phone.' So, we use our attention also as 'I.' 'I' is usually used for both. But what is the truest 'I,' which is the 'I' to which I cannot say 'not this'?

Also, we know about the practice of Neti Neti. It's like, if I see it, I am the witness of it, and the subject cannot be the object. So, 'not this.' Neti Neti. This subject, this matter, also 'not this, not this.' Of the associations, there comes a point to which we cannot say 'not this.' That point is where this is no longer phenomenal, and yet it is still 'I.' Like, it's unbelievable for you about the way, actually, sometimes giving various approaches to get you to see whatever that is cannot say 'not this.' So, originally, inherently 'I.' But when we ask the question, 'Who is aware of this?' it points to this itself. It is the source, originally and inherently the Self, 'I.' When we ask the question, 'Who is aware of this?' it points back to itself. This is the point at which you're coming to the non-phenomenal recognition of yourself.

Some of the words that I'm saying today, as I'm hearing them also, I feel like it would be very nice if you read them, if you hear them. If it feels like it's just a bunch of words and it's a bit complicated, but if you read them at your own pace, slowly looking at that which is pointed to, and you infuse the simplicity of them. If you ask, 'Who is aware of the computer?' it takes it beyond the computer. 'Who is aware of this body?' It is beyond the body. 'Who is aware of thoughts?' It is beyond thoughts. 'Who is aware of emotion?' It is beyond emotion. 'Who is aware even of existence?' It is beyond existence. 'Who is aware of this awareness?' It will point back to itself. This will be the Self, which is unshakeable, unchanging, unborn. And I inherently suggest that we could leave it as a reminder for those who are feeling until you can actually follow along at your own pace, digesting all of the pointing, taking time over it.