See Everything as a Gift of God - 23rd September 2024

Where will we find it difficult? At work, in the office? Say, 'Let's get this done by tomorrow, if it's God's will.' You might find it strange, you see how it unfolds. See how it unfolds. But in most other situations it should be fine. Family thinks you're mad anyway, or at least I'm mad anyway. Family is not a problem. Friends also know us by now. Okay, yeah. So if you say that 'I'm feeling really frustrated today that you said this,' that even in talking now I have to mention God's grace, no? So you would say, 'I noticed that I'm very frustrated at the moment, but He's here and may by His blessing, by His presence, may this also be resolved.' Is it? Because if we are going to keep our spirituality reserved for the big things... like we just met Auto Raja, and Auto Raja has spent 27 years of his life picking up mentally challenged abandoned people from the streets whose families have basically thrown them away, discarded them. Young mothers who got pregnant and now both sides of the families don't want them. He went with one girl to Delhi and they said, 'No, you keep her, we don't want her because she has done this.' So she's been living serving at the center for the last 11 years. Many educated people who have just been abandoned by society and had no other place to go.

He has nurtured wounds of maggots and gangrene and leprosy in helping TB patients in the center. His daughter has got TB now and she's walking around with the mask. So we may notice that in what way God uses every instrument. It doesn't have to be like that. I doubt my life will ever come to that point, that level of service. I'm much too comfortable in my armchair spirituality. But I feel God has given everybody an opportunity moment to moment in their lives. So I used to share earlier in satsang that don't worry so much about the big miracles. Can you bring a smile to the one who is in front of you on the street? If they've had a bad day, you just smile at them, say hello, and just change... you don't know where, in what hell they were finding themselves in their mind. For a moment to see a smiling face in front of them, something may change, or it may not. It's God's grace. But at least that can be our service. If you're angry and we want to lash out at someone, can we not remember? Ananta is saying don't get angry. So, and of course everything I'm saying today is very colored, very inspired by St. Thérèse because her 'little way' is so inspiring. It doesn't have to be the one big thing; it can be a million tiny things.

And you don't feel like loving someone and you're feeling actually aversion, you see. And I'm coming back again to the... I've had two major influences this week. One was St. Thérèse and the other was Auto Raja. So in watching the video of what he has been doing in the last 27 years, half of us were not able to watch. I'm not sending it to my family because they will say, you know, my extended family, because they'll be like, 'This is too difficult, why have you sent this?' But he has been doing that. And watching what he has been doing is so difficult for us. Picking up naked, dirty bodies, cremating 9,000 people over the last 27 years because it's a hospice as well. And so much honesty. He's saying that sometimes when I drive my car, I just feel like shouting out loud and banging my head. Okay? So no false image making.

So he said something. He said that if you spend a lot of time with doctors, you'll start talking like doctors. If you spend a lot of time with lawyers, you start talking like lawyers. So, 'I spent 27 years of my life with these mentally challenged patients, so I feel like now I'm losing it.' So few days or just the day before we had gone, he hurt himself, you see. He took a sharp object and hurt himself because this kind of life takes a toll on you. He said if you are working for God, then you don't need to be educated, you don't need to know anything. He delivers babies, he's not a doctor. He heals, he treats everyone, he is not a doctor. So just being placed in these positions, God gives us the strength and the knowledge we need moment to moment. And my point is that suppose that we are not at that place in our life, we are not able to, we are too weak. So to admit that and yet to do the tiny thing we can. The mind is pushing us around, making us angry, but we remain in God's presence for 10 seconds more than we would have.

St. Thérèse had a beautiful example as well. She said that a sister and I, we were washing dishes, and the sister, she just kept splashing the soap water on her face. And something in her wanted to just react to that, but she just felt it's a beautiful opportunity to be humble, to be loving, to realize that the sister is not intending to hurt her. It is just God has given her an opportunity to transcend her anger, her pride. So this spiritual wealth will come through our sadhana, through the way we live our life. But ultimately, just the being or attempting to be in the presence of God, no matter what plays out for the bodily instrument. Is there any better use of this moment right now than to be with God? Any better use? So why is it that it's only like this in times, in the times of satsang?

So I feel many of us get stuck in a Godless spirituality, which should be a contradiction in terms, but many times it isn't in the world today. How to say? It sounds very... Ma would always say, before saying such pearls of wisdom, she would always say that 'I'm just a little child, I don't know what I'm talking about, I'm just saying some upside-down things.' So then after some time, if you see the videos, her disciples say, 'Please, you tell us your gyan, we want to hear your gyan.' Because from the world's perspective, what these great sages have to say is always going to seem a bit absurd. The world says, 'What are you doing wasting your life?' When I was 30 years old, I was at work one day and this senior gentleman, very experienced, was saying to a group of us that—and probably my father must have told him something about where I'm going, so in my trajectory of my life—so he said that if the spiritual bug bites anyone, their life is a complete waste. He had no doubt about it. He said fully authoritatively that if the spiritual bug bites anyone, your life is completely wasted.

Now what is upside down? I feel like it's the opposite. If the spiritual bug hadn't bit me, then I feel like my life would have been a complete waste. And both of us, I'm sure, are happy to be this way even if we are wrong. Is it? So from the perspective of Maya, God will always be upside down. From the perspective of the spirit, God's presence, Maya will always be upside down. Are you willing to risk being upside down? And see, to be upside down, it is very possible that that 30-year-old boy who heard this statement 19 years ago may have taken it to heart and said, 'Let me make something of my life instead, what am I doing?' So Maya will always send its agents to say, 'What are you up to? What do you have to show for what you're up to?' Some of you have been in satsang 12 years. Where is she? So 12 years, what do you have to show for it? Nothing. What can we show? That is why it means faith. It's a question of faith. It's very possible to be fully right about the stupidest causes. It's very possible, is it? And many in the world, millions in the world, are feeling very right and correct about the silliest things. Is satsang one of those things? In the eyes of many in the world, it is. Are you willing to risk this life moment to moment, not doing the big things necessarily like Mother Teresa or Auto Raja, but whatever little we can every moment? Are you willing to sacrifice your moment away from yourself towards God?

It's a question of faith. It's very possible to be fully right about the stupidest causes. It's very possible, is it not? And many in the world, millions in the world, are feeling very right and correct about the silliest things. Is satsang one of those things? In the eyes of many in the world, it is. Are you willing to risk this life moment to moment, not doing the big things necessarily like Mother Teresa or Mahatma Gandhi, but whatever little we can every moment? Are you willing to sacrifice your moment away from yourself towards God in inquiry, towards the truths which also is a complete waste in the eyes of the world? 'Who am I? Am I what?' 'What are you doing sitting around asking who am I, who am I? What do you get out of this?' I never found a good answer to this question. Do you have one? You're taking notes? Really wasting life and noting the story of how I wasted my life. So any spiritual endeavor is a complete waste in the eyes of the world.

So when I was younger, what happened is that because I was so doubtful about my path then, if anybody would say something, I would get very upset. It was not because of what they were saying, because it was a scenario which I was always fearful that maybe they're right. That is when things bother us, no? If we are completely clear that, let's take an example, that the Earth is spherical—if there is an Earth and we are on Earth, then the Earth is spherical and it's moving—and a flat-earther comes and talks to you from America, somebody has traveled to India and they're a flat-earther and they come and talk to you, unless you are doubtful, you're not going to be upset and lose your sleep over it. So when I was younger, I would get upset with these things if my family told me something because I was very unsure of my own path. You see, I was unsure about God's presence. I was unsure even that there is something called self-realization, freedom, because I had no experience of that.

So when we get poked, when we get irritated, then know that somewhere that voice which is speaking has some allegiance with us as well. That's why it bothers us. Somewhere we are scared that maybe we are actually wasting our life. That could be one. But the other way to look at this also is that if you're talking to your friends and they get irritated every time you speak about this, it means that they are also in the same boat, unsure about their philosophy for their life. That's why they don't want to hear it. When we were in sales training in a different lifetime, we were told that if a customer has told you that they're never going to buy, don't waste your time. Those are the ones who are most ready to buy. I don't know if they taught you that. They're just scared you're going to sell it to them, so they just want to block you out. Many times in the world, it is also like that.

So coming back to what we have to endeavor to do with our lives moment to moment: make it for God. Remain inward-facing. Remain in His presence, in His love. So notice the small things that take you away from God. You can say, for example, 'I get irritated when...' You can write that in your list. 'I get irritated when...' whatever that is. Why am I saying irritated and not upset or angry? Because all this starts with that irritation. If you spot it at the level of irritation, it usually doesn't become big anger, big frustration.

Can I get irritated if I did not want my will? So is my upsetness, is my irritation, a question of will? If I don't get what I want from life, from a person, from a relationship, from how the world is supposed to be according to my way, then I start to give in to that thought of being right. Do I realize the exchange that I'm making? Who dwells in peace? Who dwells in peace and who dwells in anger? Who's winning at that time? So I promise not to leave God's presence even in these cases where it seems so justified.

So that's one time when I leave God's presence. What is our second favorite time to leave God's presence? Okay, let's look at it this way: when is it worth it to leave God's presence and just spend the time talking about some brother or sister? Let's spend the next two hours of our life talking about someone who's not here. Let's talk about Jyoti; she's not here. So let's... 'You know that day, what did she say?' Of course, she's very sweet, we love her, but... So spending time on both fruitless thinking and fruitless conversations, isn't that such a low-hanging fruit, so to speak? Yes. If we can cut that out of our life, we have so much more time for God. Yeah, isn't it? So irritation, gossip, small small things.

Yes, she just quietly cleaned up for them, you know that story, and then said you just do, you just think you're doing, just talking about others. And what is entertainment? Entertainment will come to...

That's a very good point. So one thing that I've noticed about myself as I'm getting older more and more is just loving to talk about myself, like right now. So if we can't talk about how bad others are, now let's talk about how good I am. So there is a very beautiful term, maybe I specialize in that term, it is called humble bragging. Humble bragging, you know this term? Okay. And I do it. Next time I'll point it out. Just like in the disguise of humility, it's a brag. I have some special expertise on that one. So it can be like this, and equally corrosive is false humility. And the Ashtavakra Gita was also talking about this, false humility.

And God has blessed us so much in our life, but we will not talk about it because humility in the sense that... Oh, so yesterday what happened is that for a few weeks I've been wondering that the charitable aspect of spirituality, the charity aspect of spirituality, is actually completely missing from my life. I was feeling this in my heart, and just in time where this feeling was getting so strong, God sent us to meet these people, Raja, Home of Hope. So many times we don't talk about these things because it may seem like it is a humble brag or self-praise or something indirectly. But as long as you are clear in your heart that actually you're praising God, you should not hide His light in this way. So it may seem like a bit of a fine line, but in our heart we always know. What did we want from the other? Did you want them to think, 'Oh, I'm so cool,' or did you really want them to think God is so cool? We know, you know, no? So don't shy away from praising the gifts from God that we received in our life.

Entertainment is there. Before this, one more thing is that I've started noticing that my friends who come and visit me from, like, old friends from college and early part of work and former neighbors, now when they come and meet me, cousins, they come and meet me, I feel like they'll stop coming soon. But while they come, I make it a point to mention the fact that, you know, we're getting old, all of us, and there must be something more to life than what most of the world is involved in. And so far I've got rather patient hearings, I have to say, like from friends who've known me from my atheist days. Maybe it's the beard that is working, but it's just much more openness than I was expecting to find, at least on the face of it. I don't know what happened later.

But I'm just feeling like, and some of these friends, like the last one came from... he moved to the US then lived in Hyderabad, so I met him after maybe two decades or something. And you don't know if it's going to be another two decades, whether we'll still be around to meet each other or not. But so it also came that maybe something somewhere will stay with someone. And what happens is that if we forget about God in those times, it's very easy for us to get caught up in all of that stuff as well. And with computer engineers of my vintage, what is the usual point of most conversations? 'What is your net worth and what is my net worth?' Now everybody is just quietly gauging. 'What did you... I had one exit with this and I had one...' So just like calculating whatever you've done in your life is measured by net worth. All of these things are a complete waste of time.

So if I can introduce them to the only thing valuable that I found in my life, which is my only net worth, then... but the label is very scary in the world, that not only are you doing your spirituality privately, now you've become an evangelist also. Like an evangelist is a bad word. But if I was giving everybody tips on how I made this much money, then that is very welcome. But true wealth, that is not welcome. Upside down. So I start talking to some people about God, they say, 'You know, that CIO association you were doing is still there? What's happening with Pink Lemonade now?' Maybe just uncomfortable and unusual to meet someone who authentically wants to talk about God.

But the point I'm making is that, is that self-imposed 90% of the time? Are we scared, this fear about talking about God with those who are civilians? Because we don't want to look like we've lost it, our life has gone to waste. Some of us came with me when we went to the village, Chhaprauli, a very small village in Western UP, and some of my cousin sisters, older ones... and I was not expecting that from them. They were very sweet and very loving, of course, but all of them wanted to ask me one thing. And all of them stay at home, they're homemakers, all those. But they wanted to ask me, 'Are you still doing some work or are you only like into this religion thing?' Very sweet, but they all had this question in mind. And in an indirect way, that's still a question about net worth.

So if only somebody will ask me really my true worth, what I found valuable in life. Scared. So many friends, common friends I have with some of you, they meet me in the social gatherings and I go with Gauri, so they come and say, 'Ah, this one speaks so highly of you, this one speaks so highly of you. I want to meet you one day and talk to you about this.' I say, 'Twice a week we have satsang, Monday, Wednesday, Friday.' 'No, no, no, I want to just, you know, meet one-on-one.' I say, 'Why? We talk about what you want to talk about.' So there's this like fear of being seen to be spiritual or joining a cult or something, something strange like that.

There's so many things in Maya which keep us away from God anyway. So these self-limiting beliefs which prevent us... they prevented this one from speaking about God openly with so many people because I also had this construct that, okay, this is about work and this is about social gathering and this is satsang, you see. So these constructs can seem very true and alive, but it's a question of just some discomfort. What is the worst that's going to happen? Somebody is going to say, 'Okay, I don't want to hear this stuff, I'm going.' It's all right. If you had the magic injection and everybody else was suffering from a life-threatening disease, would you shy away from offering it to them? So do we feel like what you are finding is as valuable as a life-saving injection? Only in such times.

So because when we have... okay, coming back to the original intent, when we think we're in a place which is not appropriate for God, then we also start operating in that way. This all this I'm saying from my experience. So we can be a bit careful about that. There is no occasion which is unsuitable for God, and God will guide you on whether something has to be said or not. But we must not leave God under some constructed narrative of something like, say, there's some community gathering, you know, it's unfit in my mind, it's unfit to talk about God, and I try to gel in because I feel, you know, otherwise if I'm just... I'm not... so I leave God sometimes just to fit in. It's like everybody's just in their own... like what is the usual topic? Superman, Father? So clothes, yeah. I'm not generalizing, it's usually like that here at least. Clothes and just haha, you like just laughter and... I understand fully what is... it's hard. I don't want to go because I feel like I have nothing to contribute. That's also an idea in my mind. I've seen that. So yeah, just to sometimes keep quiet and not...

You know, otherwise, if I'm not... I leave God sometimes just to fit in. It's like everybody's just in their own... what is the usual topic? Clothes, yeah. I'm not generalizing, it's usually like that here at least. Clothes and just laughter. And I understand fully what it is. It's hard. I don't want to go because I feel like I have nothing to contribute. That's also an idea in my mind, I've seen that. So, yeah, just to sometimes keep quiet and not even respond, it feels very uncomfortable. So some of it will happen, I guess. Some of it will happen, I guess, where... I don't know if some of you watch that episode of The Chosen where Jesus goes to Jerusalem—where does he go? Nazareth, his own village. And so then he's playing those games he used to play as a child and, you know, he's trying to fit in and being completely like normal with them. So then they ask him to do a sermon, and in the sermon he says, 'I am the law of Moses.' And a rabbi questions him. 'I am the law of Moses.' And all his childhood friends and the rabbi and everything want to kill him for blasphemy. And they take him to the edge of a cliff, like, 'Now you blasphemed enough, now you have to die for it.' And he just looks at them and says, 'Not today,' and he just walks off. But he made some attempt initially, at least, to fit in.

But I hope you're getting a sense of what I'm saying. Sometimes in the most innocent-seeming ways, we leave God's light. We leave God's presence. Like Parth was saying, entertainment. You were saying that sometimes we leave God due to some very innocent reason. So, just wanted to ask: suppose that your company organized a gathering, a high tea or something like that, and there the people were just talking about something. What do people talk about? Politics. Some politics. Maybe not so much now the elections are over, maybe not so much, but whatever the topic may be. And you feel that, 'Oh, to fit in now I have to also pretend to have a view about this.' Like, 'I'm taking a... I don't like this, I like this better.' Or, you know, 'This shade of wallpaper is better looking than that shade of wallpaper,' to take the most silly example. And soon you find yourself actually getting involved in that position, whereas initially you may have felt that, 'Oh, I'm just making conversation to just not make everyone feel uncomfortable.' And soon you find yourself taking strong views.

And we used to talk about this so often. I used to say that positions are usually not that strong when they are inside us, but when they come out of our mouth, then it feels like we have to defend it like the gospel truth. No, it has to be like, 'No, it is that way! Why can't you see it like that?' And then you really examine and you say, 'Actually, 15 minutes ago I didn't really have a position on this.' So that's how this works. That once I've said something, it's like a matter of pride that that has to be true. We have to make it seem seen as true for everyone. So all of these are very subtle things.

Social gatherings—I'm not saying that we must only talk about God. I'm just saying that remain in His presence and allow yourself to fold from there. And keep your eye on your inner compass as much as you can. And if you feel yourself getting distant, disconnected from your heart, then return at that point. Retreat at that point. Because at some points of disconnection, we find it very difficult to come back. It may take many hours of sadhana to just come back. And that's why this question is meant to be very provocative, actually. I'm not able to bring the might into it, which is that if God is not living, then why are we living? That is the reaction I wanted from everyone. So it's really the question to ask. So God is not saying, 'Oh yes, now it is time for your social gathering, so I'm going to see you later.' See, He's very much with you. It is we who go. Is it so? It's a question of trust. It's a question of faith. And we are all learning and deepening in this together. I'm not sharing any of this from the perspective of sitting on top of the mountain, just as a fellow traveler.

So, just noticing all of these things in the waking state, in the presence of the Leela. One level of entertainment is always there, the Leela itself, you see. Now within the entertainment, we have created many more layers of entertainment, and it's going to get more and more immersive as we go along. So it's all alright. It's just as long as you're with God. What is that statement somebody posted? 'Be with God and the rest is fine,' or something like that. I'm paraphrasing, but nothing becomes an excuse for you to leave Him, is it? So we don't have to go to the mountains, we don't have to live in caves, we don't have to become sannyasis. And if those things are happening, then those are happening. It's okay. But day-to-day life, moment-to-moment life, gives us enough opportunities to deepen in our love for God, deepen in our spirituality. That is the main message which I'm learning from the scriptures.

And also I wanted to share with all of you that the construct, the overall construct of our life, doesn't have to change. We don't have to leave our families, we don't have to leave renown necessarily, unless God is guiding us to. Because many times the mind just uses those as excuses to not be with God enough. 'This happened and then this happened and then that happened.' Whole day... when? How many whole days will go like this? 'This happened and then this happened.' Only like this whole life will go. So let everything that is happening happen. You stay with God. And from that staying in His presence, then kindness will come.

Have you ever found yourself gossiping in God's presence? Sitting in God's light and you just... you found this doesn't happen. Be careful of well-intentioned sounding gossip. I feel like that was another expertise of mine. Just like, 'We are talking about this sister because we love her, you know? We want her to... we want to help her. So let's just discuss what she's been doing.' Every time, you know, it is inauthentic. It's inauthentic. We just get... something is poking us and we just want that approval and acceptance from everyone else that she is pokey that way or he is pokey that way. So we try to get others involved in our narrative and we feel better when we get acceptance from others also that this is how they are. But it's all done in a seemingly well-intentioned fashion, that we are doing it because we love that one. Yeah.

So many times it can happen that in satsang we gather and we just like, 'Oh, Father is too innocent, you know? He's just too innocent, so he doesn't see how this one is, so he doesn't see how that one is.' What does he say behind his back? What does she say behind his back? Father knows too. So basically saying he's really stupid, which could be absolutely true. I'm not denying that. But I'm happy to live in that innocence, feeling like everybody is nice and sweet and loving and all of those things. So I don't want those delusions to be broken, if they are delusions. But many times I'm giving an example of when well-intentioned seeming gossip... but why? Four of you have gathered, three of you have gathered. When one or more gather, then God can really amplify His presence. In every culture, every tradition, they've talked about that. When we gather in God's name, the feeling of His presence can be so much more alive. Why was that opportunity lost in all this fruitless talk, you see? And this can also be in the guise of entertainment or 'we are just having some fun.' You see, would you do it if that person was there? It should be fun along with them also.

So don't fall into these traps of Maya, which again, are very innocent-seeming first, and then before you know it, you're in this Maya trap. Anytime two satsang members meet, such a great opportunity! 'Ah, I felt this, I had this insight, I feel God is pointing me in this direction,' or 'In my prayer I get stuck this way.' It doesn't have to be nice reports, but it can be any which way. But such a beautiful opportunity to deepen in God's love and light, please.

Father, I wanted to share something. Besides, of course, I struggle with all of everything that we are talking about, but my another very big struggle when I see myself, you know, just going away, is emotional storms. Yeah. And particularly something which is very like intense and like anxiety in particular. You know, and then the mind sort of comes in that, 'What are you doing with your life? You're in the back seat, you got to get into the driver's seat.'

And okay, so let's complete that story before you complete the rest of your report. You got in the driver's seat, then where are you driving to?

Away. And where did that go? Just deeper and deeper into the world, which is anyway... no, it's... I'm just saying that I know you know that, but when the mind is pushing that narrative to you, what is the great promise? Suppose you get on the driving seat and then you will... you will do what? The promise is stability, or the promise is everything will be good. Which it has not been, because I have had enough experience to see that something gets done, something is achieved, and then it's back to... the feeling doesn't go. The feeling's going is never an outside job. It's more like an inside job that needs to be done. And yet it comes with so much force, like it devours exactly the attention.

Yeah, and that is the struggle. That is the real struggle of our spiritual life. That the only antidote to the human condition is God's presence moment to moment. Everything else that is shared in satsang is just so that we can become like that. But there is no other antidote other than God's presence, Atma's light. So by grace we come to a point where we run out of moves and we just have to stay with God. By wisdom, very few can do that, but few can, which is to notice, maybe from the mistakes of others, that there is nothing to be gotten. I can be in the driver's seat, I can be in the passenger seat, I can take charge, I can carpe diem all I want, but at the end, death is waiting. And death is not going to count your money, death is not going to count your relationships, death is not going to see your healthy body. Death is just going to take away this life. And at that moment, if you don't have a bank account which is the true bank account... of course, everything even then is God's grace, and in God's grace everything is possible. But my feeling is that if our spiritual bank account is empty, then it is the continuation of this separation, continuation of this Maya.

So just because the world doesn't consider the spiritual bank account to be a true bank account doesn't mean that we don't take it to be a true bank account. So every time you remembered God, you're making a deposit. Can we just look at it very simply like that? Because otherwise the construct can be too stark in... especially when we are stuck in Maya, it can seem like, 'Okay, now if I did this, then I would have this opportunity, if I did that...' Why don't we look at every moment that I spend just remembering God as if I'm making a deposit in my spiritual bank account? Let's drive that car. Let's see. So many thousands of moments in today's day, how much did I add to my only true bank account? Which great sages have told me—not just the stupid man who's sitting here—but great sages have told us that that is the only account that matters, you see. And there's a very, very, very, very slim chance that all of them, beautiful, honest people, could have been lying to us. So if that is the truth, let me add to that spiritual wealth. Let me deepen in my love for God. And whether I believe in the construct that that will give me a chance to be completely merged into God or to live forever in His holy presence, both are unimaginably good. Both of those promises, which are the spiritual promises, are unimaginably good, and anything that the world has to offer cannot come close. And just... I know it's easier to say, but just take it from me because really I've seen, like my father, I've seen.

Let me add to that spiritual wealth. Let me deepen in my love for God. And whether I believe in the construct that that will give me a chance to be completely merged into God or to live forever in His holy presence, both are unimaginably good. Both of those promises, which are the spiritual promises, are unimaginably good, and anything that the world has to offer cannot come close. And just—I know it's easier to say—but just take it from me because really I've seen, like my father, I've seen so many relatives who really have lived this philosophy of taking the bull by the horns and full achievement mode and success and all of that. He was a man who was so accomplished, so well respected. Was he prepared for his death? He was not prepared for his death. That is the illusion of Maya. It's not his fault; it is how Maya traps all of us. It always tells us we have plenty of time. So even at 78, he felt he has plenty of time. It's just not true.

So if all of us are starting to get a sense of what this life is really about, then one message is very important, which is not to waste time. And when we turn towards God, we face difficulties in turning towards Him, but by the time we have turned inward, His gifts, His consolation, His peace, His joy—it's all for us. His love, it's all for us. All these things that we want from other people in the world can only come from one place, really. So drive the car, drive it inwards. Don't allow it to take you outward. Blame me at the end of your life if some auditor of this life comes and says, 'Why did you waste it by looking for God? You didn't even know whether God is real or you're just imagining it, and yet you wasted it all on God.' Just say that there was this man who said he's my father and he has told me that he is willing to bear the brunt of all your mistakes on the spiritual path. Can you have that kind of trust? If you wasted this life, just say this man made me waste it. He made me waste my whole life. I'm willing to bear the consequences of that for you.

Father, just this question. When you say that—and I know you've asked me this question two, three times whenever I've shared—does she step away or do you step away? And I would always have resistance that no, it's not me, it's she who goes away. But I've been staying with this question for a long time now, and it really feels like it is me who steps away because I think until now I have been chasing feelings and experience all the time. And I don't know, it suddenly feels like it has percolated from intellect, this observation that it's not possible to be in the same feeling state because feelings are never the same. They are like waves ebbing in and ebbing out. And you know that metaphor of 'can we construct the temple for God to arrive?' I feel again I'm able to really engage with that metaphor now and not just literally chasing experience almost like proof. Like I was looking for a consistent proof. And when I say she's very kind because she keeps reminding me of her presence, but that can't be a 24/7 state. And I feel I'm still deepening this understanding in me. The more you ask this question, 'Does she go away or do you go away?' I think that question is very helpful. It really opens up something each time I hear that question. So thank you for these nudges and questions.

Very welcome. Very, very, very good to just even meet this question. It is very helpful because first we have to engage ourselves in this way: that we have to come to God's presence, Sita Ma's presence. We come there and then we have to be patient. We have to ignore all of Maya's temptations to answer this question whether she goes or I go. See, Maya doesn't like it. She'll send temptations your way. She'll send frustration. She'll send most urgent work. You see all kinds of distractions; everything will come. But to remain in the contemplation of this question is very auspicious if you can do it. Does He ever go away or is it always an exchange that I am making? Very, very good contemplation. And we learn to live in His will so deeply just in a contemplation like this as well.

So Arjun, for example, from the Mahabharat, is a very good metaphor for all of us. Besides being a historical character, he's also a very good representative of the human condition. So one more thing that he did was, after Abhimanyu was killed, of course emotions would be running high at that point. He said that 'I will kill Jayadratha.' He said, 'I'll kill Jayadratha before sunset today.' Who is it? It's okay, some supervillain, some Marvel supervillain. He said he's going to kill Ashwatthama, Karna, Jayadratha—all the options are there, you pick whoever. So he said he will do that before the end of the day today, otherwise he will end his own life. And then when he told Krishna this, Krishna got very upset. Krishna literally told him, 'I'm sitting right here. Who has asked you to make these resolutions? You could have at least checked with me.' That's literally what Krishna tells him on the chariot, isn't it? I don't know if some of you have seen that scene.

And then what happens is that because Arjun is a great friend, a Sakha of God, the great Bhakta in the form of a Sakha, then Arjun, as always, is trapped in some war game and it's not happening, it's not happening. The sun is going down. So then Krishna had to hold up the sun, or what he did is he sent some clouds to cover the sun. So then the bad guys felt like the sunset has come and they won the challenge. Now Arjun has to kill himself because a promise is a promise in those days. So this one who was scared of being killed by Arjun comes out in the open and starts laughing, thinking that the sun has set. Just when he comes out, then Krishna removes the clouds and Arjun gets his chance and he's willing to keep up his pledge, you see.

The first part of the story is more compelling for me because that's literally us. Even in our spirituality, we become like that. And I should say I become like that. But He's right there. Why can't we ask? Why can't we be patient for the answer? Why do we think we know? What do we actually know? So the crux of all of this is that He never leaves us, although His presence does seem to get distant the more selfish we are being. But His grace, His mercy is so much that just in a turning away with innocence and through tears of missing Him, He makes Himself available. And He does not leave us and He does not say, 'Don't ask me this. Don't look for guidance about this small matter. How dare you bring this to me? Don't I have other work to do?' So the highest in the universe, that which the universe is made up of, is willing to have a deep, deep relationship with us in any construct that we want.

And we are chasing relationships on the outside. God is saying, 'I'll be your mother, I'll be your father, I'll be your best friend, I'll be your lover, I'll be your beloved, I'll be your son, I'll be your child, I'll be your daughter, whatever way you want.' And all love will come from me anyway. But in the hypnosis of Maya, we think that grabbing onto some flesh and blood will be better for us in our lives. Just a bucket of food. Just food dancing around creating all this drama in our life. What if the food never changes shape? What if all the food we ate then stayed in that shape only? So all the falafels are like—they appear like mini falafels. All the rotis are like mini rotis. So you just see like an aggregate of all the food that we eat. Then would it be that attractive? All this body is made up of that only. So it is just in the hypnosis of Maya we get stuck in all of this stuff, feeling that this grabbing on the outside will give me some everlasting peace and joy and love. Even if that comes, it will come only from God if it is His grace.

Ah, that's one more tip. Don't make spiritual excuses for worldly desires because the mind is very crafty. It will say, 'Oh, I want to be with that one only because he is very spiritual, he'll help my growth.' Lies, all lies. At least be honest. That's the beautiful thing about the saints. You hear Hanuman Prasad Poddar talking, you hear any of them talking, they don't put themselves on a pedestal and then make excuses for themselves. Same with Maharaj, Nisargadatta, all of them. Same. They just say about themselves as it is. If you're stuck in something, just say, 'I'm stuck in something.' Don't make a narrative which is all fancy sounding and disingenuous. If you are caught in some Maya trap, just say, 'I'm caught in this Maya trap. Maya has me by my throat. I don't know what to do,' rather than saying, 'No, I feel actually this is very good because I feel in my heart that this could be really very good for my growth.' Am I saying that can never happen? I'm not saying that. But I've seen all too often we just get into this kind of narrative because we don't like what we are seeing happening within ourselves. We just try to make sense of it using a narrative. We just say, 'Ah, this is what is happening.'

So this integrity which Maharaj has spoken about so much—you see the lives of the sages, how much they are just honest about themselves and how openly they can speak. So if you are caught up in lust, just admit to yourself you are caught up in lust. If you're caught up in some emotional attachment, then admit to yourself you're caught up in some emotional attachment. Don't make spiritual excuses for worldly things. It's very, very difficult to be that honest, but I promise you it will help. And all of these things I'm saying as a fellow traveler, as a fellow learner. Exactly, exactly, exactly. Not be vulnerable, not look as if we have everything sorted. See, what will people think about me? They think I'm so far ahead, so evolved. If I say that I'm going through this, what will they think? So we forget the audience of One and it becomes about the audience of many, which is classic Maya. It is so beautiful to notice these tiny things, little, little things which are just blocking our life. We feel like if we can convince a hundred people around us that we are free, that we'll actually be free. But actually we get distant from God's presence in our heart. It's not about that. Let them all think you are mud. All of us are going to be mud together anyway one day. So let everyone think it's okay. Not in false humility, but you don't have to hide. You don't have to be disingenuous. You don't have to make yourself seem spiritual.

So I hope you're noticing that these small, small things in everyday life are the little things that St. Therese was talking about. She may not have taken these examples, but these are the ones that are coming up in Satsang today as we share. And the classic one, of course, is don't rush. Come with me. Don't rush in all situations. Only rush inwards, let's put it that way.

I can't stop myself from saying I am so happy to have read that 'Little Way.' I mean, heard it; I haven't read the book yet, but it has had a deep impact here. I feel, you know, like small things you can do with my children, small acts that I have not noticed. You know, a small act of putting them first. It's so beautiful, Father. It's so beautiful. You know, it doesn't have to be a historical event. No, it doesn't have to be a miracle, what the world considers a miracle. These are small miracles. It's very beautiful. Yeah, it just allows you to love in that moment. That's it.

Exactly. It doesn't have to always feel beautiful. I'm sure there will be moments when you have to fight and, you know, just let the other—you know, like many times it feels beautiful to surrender your will and just do it for them, and sometimes it might be very tough also. But it's very simple in that way. The simple thing she said is so profound, just like this folding of clothes. And without anybody knowing, she said only Jesus knows, preferably no one else knows. And a child of 15 to 24 can't even imagine what I was up to.

Beautiful. I'm sure there will be moments when you have to fight and, you know, just let the other... you know, like many times it feels beautiful to surrender your will and just do it for them, and sometimes it might be very tough also. But it's very simple in that way. The simple thing she said is so profound, just like this folding of clothes, and without anybody knowing. She said only Jesus knows; preferably no one else knows. And a child of 15 to 24—I can't even imagine what I was up to when I was 24. And here's one child who is... and she has so beautifully mentioned how she used to wonder why is God so kind to some and not to others? Some ones who did so many criminal things almost, and yet God made saints out of them. Why is it? How can it be like that? She has written about how she wondered about these things, that how can God be like this with some and be like that with others?

So then she one day was in her garden—that's where the name 'the Little Flower' comes from. So she saw that there are these beautiful big flowers, roses—I'm very bad at flowers, but big flowers—and also there are very tiny flowers as well. And when the sun comes up, all are nourished in the light of the sun; all are loved by the sun. Can we say that the sun loves the rose more than the lily? In the same way, some of us are big superstars of spirituality, of God, of all of that, and some of us are little flowers that He looks at us for a... she says He looks at us at a glance and He smiles. That is what we are there for. So beautiful, so sweet. Then we don't have to understand why some are like that and some are like this, because this is the usual human condition in spirituality as with something else.

Saying that, what is that song? You know, this constant thing is there. It's a representation of the same thing, isn't it? Saying that, but look at this one. And you say that Valmiki, he was a murderer, he killed so many people; Augustine was such a sinner, and St. Paul was such a sinner, and You made them into such amazing saints. Do something about our life also, no? This question can come, that why is it like this? Why is the distinction? But we can never truly fathom God and His will. We just have to accept that if we can be here for Him and He can look at us with love, isn't that much more than we can ask for? So never get into this spiritual competitiveness. We don't know who is winning, who is... so this Little Flower, she at 24, she left the body because of tuberculosis, and she became one of the greatest sages while thinking that whole life she's just going to be a little flower of God. She wanted to be a saint and she felt like, why is it God blesses others like this so much? And then here she realized that in the garden, He loves every flower. The sun shines His light on every flower. So then she's happy to be a little flower, and then God made her wish come true that she became one of the greatest saints that ever lived at such a young age also.

I felt that if God has put that wish in her to be a saint, He has to... she knew she's not that holy, there has to be a ladder.

Exactly, that's a very beautiful point. She felt like He's given her that divine inspiration, so then He has to find some way. Because when she looked at herself and read the books of other sages and saints, she found that she's nowhere like them. Isn't that like all of us? We see these things and we feel like we are nowhere like them, then there's no chance for us. But she said that if He has given me this inspiration in my heart, then He will also show me the way. He will make me climb the ladder; He will give me the ladder. So I have to take the tiny step, the tiny part of that step, and He will take the bigger step, the bigger part of that step. But we don't have that trust. We don't have... I don't have that trust, I don't have the confidence to take the tiny step allowing Him to take the bigger part of the step. So deep humility and deep confidence at the same time, but confidence not in our own strength but in His power. Every word, every passage, so much to learn from.

So I feel like to engage with the lives of the sages, to hear their stories, is a very good gift we can give to ourselves. I see that my life is so much richer after we saw those episodes of Tulsidas Ji, hearing, watching 'The Chosen' of course, reading about the lives of St. Teresa of Avila, Thérèse of Lisieux. And I find myself so old now. Like in earlier days when I was younger, I would finish books like that. I start a book and it was finished; start a book and it was finished. Now I started maybe 30 books and none of them is actually finished. It's just something calls me, I read a bit, get a sense of it, then something else. So I lost that idea that I have to finish every book that I start, and yet He's educating me quite reasonably.

So to immerse ourselves... like St. Teresa said this, that she always had a book, she always had a book. So now in today's world, whether you're listening to Audible or reading a book or watching something on YouTube, it's all okay as long as you're immersing yourself in that divine inspiration. It is going to help. At least those, depending on your language... some, if you really understand Hindi—I don't know, subtitles are there—but if you understand Hindi, I would strongly encourage: watch the episodes of Swami Tulsidas in Vrajna, Shri Ganesha. It's all on YouTube, freely available. Those are very simplistically made and, you know, you're not expecting cinema out of it, but the message is so deep and compelling. Also the story of Madhavi, then who became Matu Maai, Mirabai—it's very, very beautiful. And the Shabri episode in Shrimad Ramayan, every episode is very nice. And also the one Hanuman Ji meets Ram for the first time, it's very nice.

Then the one in 'The Chosen' where, you know, Simon Peter... he follows the one that they get the fish, that one is very, very beautiful. The one where the fishermen come with him, Simon Peter comes with him because he's going to be caught by the Romans if he doesn't pay the tax thing. So then Jesus does this miracle and his whole boat is full of fish. It's a beautiful episode. I feel that is the same one where he told Matthew to follow him. That's a nice one. There's so many beautiful things. Nicodemus' talk is beautiful, and Nicodemus speaking with Mary is very beautiful. All of them will end everything, yeah. But some really change you, you know? You just feel like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Faith. The question of faith, that 'Why didn't you heal me?' and he's been sitting quietly for so long and Jesus is healing everyone, and one of his own closest disciples, he's still walking with the limp.

So he was... yeah, he's been doing... he's been doing to the... oh, I haven't seen... 'least of among you, you did it to me.' Must be... Anin four is the only one I haven't seen. The we met Auto Raja, is that less of a Satsang, Father? Is that less?

It's one of the strongest Satsangs, one of the strongest that I have been to. Like, I've seen only Mother Teresa and her things on TV, on YouTube and things. He's the closest I've seen to her. Very, very strong Satsang, very beautiful. Like, it's one of the closest communions with God, right? Yes, definitely with God's compassion. Definitely. And Father, he was so innocent and he said, 'Okay, God, God, are You with me?' But God... it feels like God is there with him in every step, no? He's so innocent that he doesn't know it. Yeah, that innocence makes him like this, so beautifully in communion with God. So everything is a... 'Oh, then I told God like this, then this happened. So then I told God like this,' you know? That he's just talking to God like his friend all the time. That's a beautiful thing.

So yes, this... thank you for that. So he got a chance once to visit Switzerland, maybe to get some award or something. So CNN was in... okay, so he went there for that. So they put him up in a five-star hotel. He said, 'That night I really... I was jumping on the bed, I was doing somersaults, I was doing all of that. But then I told God, I know this is for one night. I'm happy with it for one night, then I'm back to my hut.' It's completely fine. So with everything, he brings God into it. Although he says, 'I've not met God.' He says, 'I still haven't met God. I want to meet God. I have not had dreams of God, I have not had any dreams, visions, you see. I have not met God.' And it can... like, his expression is very different. He's not like... you know, he's just speaking very, very normally. So he's not... you have to really pay close attention to see that everything is driven by faith.

So there was a question about so much like Auto Raja publicity, and in one of the videos he's called the Miracle Man of India. You know, he shows that video to everyone. So I was saying that if someone leads a life like that for 27 years and the mind gets a bit attracted to getting at least some glory in return, can we not grant him that much at least? Let's grant him that much. He's taking care of thousands and thousands. So what if a little bit his name is spread over there and something in him likes it? It's okay. It's not... you see, we have many more weaknesses than that. We could never give up our whole life and all of these things, and we would not make that exchange with our life and him if we were well known in return for dealing what he deals with on a daily basis. So we must not allow the mind to fool us with these small things. In every story there will be some 1% which can sound problematic to the mind, you see? You have to just get over that and meet God's goodness in every human play. It is going to play with some stupidity, some foolishness is bound to play out.

So only God is perfect. And what is beautiful is that if there is honesty... because he did not try to portray himself as something. So I really feel like, in a way, I belong to that family in my heart somewhere as well. So whatever... may God keep this fire alive. But whatever we can do, because this man gets so much respect from all of you in this world, but he's not done one-millionth of what he has done for so many people in this world. It's okay. So you don't even know what I said just now, so what are you saying? Not true. I haven't... it's just been so comfortable sitting in AC, talking with friends. What a big deal? So many we have. May God give us the strength and ability to really start doing something in the next whatever is left of our lives.

He said, 'I'm not happy with myself.' That shocked me. He said, 'I still get angry and I get... I have all these...' after 27 years of all that that he's done, and then he says, 'I'm not happy with myself.'

Very... that's a beautiful thing. Very... that's a beautiful thing. Because one who does not recognize how small they are and how much they have to grow, they are caught in the Ravana mode. And it is growth in maturity for all of us because somewhere, maybe in Indian spirituality, we've created this notion of the enlightened one who is free from all blemishes of any sort, you see? We must break out of that mode and remember that only God is perfect. Everyone else is either growing in His love or is proud. And you see how it is the same across religion. Hanuman Ji also, if you hear him talk, what did he say? That was a classic line from him. Such... he said at one point, 'Don't think I'm some great...' what? That was one of the first videos actually Ram sent me of Hanuman Prasad Poddar Ji. So he's saying that, 'I don't want to speak like this about the Mahatmas because you will start thinking that I'm one of them. I'm not one of them. I'm telling you about them, please don't do it.' No? So then, that you will make... it will be a great thing to consider me to be a great saint, Mahatma. So like that, that humility touched me so deeply that I fell in love with him in that one hearing, that one Satsang.

So much inspiration everywhere around us, so much. And that's probably the only thing I feel bad for, feeling that this one is 50 almost. Because in the 20, 30 years that are left, can I really immerse myself in the lives of all of these sages? I try getting into one, then another one shows up. So just scratching the surface of St. Teresa of Avila, now Thérèse of Lisieux. So much immersion, beauty, all... I mean, such...

That humility touched me so deeply that I fell in love with him in that one hearing, that one satsang. There is so much inspiration everywhere around us, so much. And that's probably the only thing I feel bad for—feeling that this one is fifty almost, because in the twenty or thirty years that I have left, can I really immerse myself in the lives of all of these sages? I try getting into one, then another one shows up. So, just scratching the surface of St. Teresa of Avila now, then St. Therese of Lisieux. How much inner beauty! I mean, it is such a good problem to have. And then sometimes you feel, 'Oh, you're missing Swami Ramdas; you've not heard him for days.' And an Anandamayi Ma video we haven't seen for so long. There's so much we've not scratched the surface of with any of these great sages, and we haven't even started looking at the Sufis and so many beautiful ones. Somebody sent me a quote from a Sufi saint the other day, so beautiful. I thought, 'Let me read up about this.' Ashtavakra Gita we left midway because this boy started crying or something, you know.

The thing in my life that I wasted the most time over was making something about myself. That's the human addiction; that is the work in progress that I'm still working on. There's so much to immerse in. Can we meet these sages in our heart? We can't do it if you're full of 'me, me, me.' But I think, imagine reading Tulsidas Ji—you're reading this child who shared some magnificent things—but if you are reading through the lens of 'but I think,' then there are so many years I spent wasting time on that, thinking I know something. Even Father in Ramacharitmanas, I try to find errors in Hanuman Prasad Poddar's translations. 'Oh, this word is translated differently, let me Google it.' That's courage! I don't think you have to be young like you to have that kind of courage. Why? Then let me see if I can understand this without reading his commentary. Then it is two sages that you are hitting. The first time I saw this version of the Ramacharitmanas, I was so excited because I knew it was Gita Press, but I didn't know that the tika is by Hanuman Prasad Poddar. So that was a special cherry on the cake. Yeah, the tika is Hanuman Prasad Poddar. So I felt like this is the cherry on the cake, you know? Just Tulsidas Ji and the commentary by Hanuman Prasad Poddar. Like commentary and translation both, in a way. What a blessing to have. So don't take my advice; don't waste time on yourself. 'I'm like this, I'm like that, I...'

And we actually first read it and also watched it. We've not started the Ram part. No, I know. I mean, I read it before, but I think it changed so dramatically for me to see it through your eyes or through the eyes of some other truth than what you know. Especially about what Lord Ram did—to see those typical, foolish ideas and then you see that, I mean, how could I even have judged him when what do I really even know? It was just from your own, like, hearsay. And you see the conditioning of your world and, you know, some feminist thing or the other. It just seems so silly to me then. It actually feels like blasphemy in a way, that you know, how could you even dare to judge what God should do or not do?

Yes, yes, yes. Mom and Dad are here, take care. Of course, of course. So, I don't know where this life is going at all. Like this morning, I was feeling I'm going to stop sharing satsang and just join Auto Raja in his work. You come, it's close to Hennur Cross while coming back. He's ten, fifteen... they have satsang recordings? No, some ten thousand or something. No, don't. Then you join me there.

But right now, the attempt is to help them in whatever way possible because they're really struggling with all this prejudice about Christian institutions and all this kind of stuff. So we can print some simple leaflets and just distribute them to people with some way to help, with some way to contribute. Imagine, after twenty-seven years of working, he was worried about where the next meal for all these eight hundred people is going to come from. And they still manage it at a beautiful... like twenty-two thousand to feed eight hundred people is nothing. And those who haven't gone, I've been to other orphanages and things, but this one really touches you because eighty percent of them have, like, mental conditions, and yet they're so innocent in their eyes. So I'm sure there are troubled times also, but we found a lot of grace in the visit. And of course, meeting children is always... then we met some children also, very beautiful.

But just the sheer... like, we don't know what hardship is. What we lament about, what we feel bad for... what these people go through, where their limbs are deteriorating in front of their own eyes and there are worms eating you up, and then this helping hand comes. It's cleaning you up, loving you like a baby. That is something very beautiful. Let's see where God takes us, how He takes us. So both these things came in the same week—the little thing and the big thing. So both are there. Let's see, let's see which way it goes. What do you all feel? Some of it, how is it after two days of visiting? What is your feeling about it?

Sometimes when I walk on the roadside, there are like drunkards lying there. No one looks at them. There's a little question in my mind like, 'Shall I at least keep him straight?' I just walk away. Now, I don't know, even in spite of all that, will I do it next time? Honestly, I don't know. I just judge that he's drunk and sleeping there. Who knows?

Exactly. Quick to judge. Like, could we as a sangha have run a place like that? Treating them, dealing with them day in and day out. You know, some of the stories I don't even want to say on the broadcast. Like, we were reeling after one visit. All of us were in shell shock and we were reeling. Imagine living there with everyone, eight hundred of them, in a small space like this. Every day there's some two or three, you know, dramas or something or the other. Eight hundred people who are not mentally well and have such serious trauma and issues. And this one man, because he doesn't know how to delegate or what that means, or just like, 'God has put me here, I'm going to do the best I can.' He operates in that mode. So we can grant him whatever he wants granted to him without judging at all. It shows me my lack of love so deeply.

You know, take turns thinking out loud. Should we, like the whole sangha, let's say twenty or thirty of us, every week two of us go, let's say on a Saturday or a Sunday, and spend the whole day? I don't know if it's possible practically also. Sure. Just take turns, like make a sheet, an Excel sheet, and I'll go every three or four weeks and just spend time with them. And I was feeling that I can offer some physical... I don't know how, but like two or three of us can go every week. I don't know how much we'll help them, but it's shaking us up, so you know.

Yes, please. You know, I think what you just mentioned would be actually just really incredible because, you know, I visited another, the biggest hospice in Bangalore, Karunashraya. I visited them and what they said was that even though they are patients, they are admitting patients who have like maybe less than a week to live, but they invested in putting up a physical fitness place right there. Yes, you would wonder why would patients want to, literally, you know... basically the hours are metered. But they said it just added a lot. I mean, people, whatever limited whatever they had... maybe there's some, I mean, I guess there's some inner knowing that reality never dies, so they are not giving up, you know, something about it. But there is... I'm just saying that they were so... what you just said, it just occurred to me to share that something like that, which they probably had not considered, could this transform the experience of the people there? You know, physical therapy and lots of stuff also to do with the kids. I mean, on a separate track, like so much stuff to do with the kids who never really had parents show up. And God will show us what to do.

Yeah, so my wife was saying that the first time she went, she was playing with the kids and some of them became a little bit hyper, right? And the reason was actually they had never been affectionately... never had parents, like never had somebody sit them on their lap or, you know, kind of be that... the kind of stuff we take for granted. They got so excited that it became unmanageable. Unmanageable only because they never had that basic experience, you know? So that's priceless. I mean, it's just that a lot of people give money, may give stuff, but they don't give affection.

Father, can I share something? Yeah, from my experience with my father when he had this surgery and then he couldn't move. So he went into a nursing home where people were very much without any hope to go back to their lives. It was like an exit home. And one of the things I did, I actually brought him a physiotherapist to work with him every day because mobility is very important. And actually, my father was kicked... he had the big surgery in his stomach and stuff to replace his gross intestine, and after five days in the hospital, the doctor actually kicked him out because he wasn't getting out of the bed. And he said, 'If you don't get out of bed, you're going to die. So all the time I spent to fix you inside is going to be wasted. So just get out and see.' And my sister put him in a nursing home and then, yeah, these visits and the physiotherapy, and I was doing Reiki on him and just telling him, 'Hey, you need to get out.' Because they also get complacent. Like my father was like, 'Oh, this is so nice here, look, I have all these friends around me.' And, 'Yeah, I don't want... if I go home, I'm going to be alone.' And you get all this complacency. So movement is really important. So what was suggested is, yes, thank you.

And bless this place. And yes, when you pray last time for an eye... and whenever you pray, it feels very strong in my heart. And the things I want to say, one is if we could pray for Anna, who has been struggling for a while. Also join me in praying for this child who is losing both her eyes. God's grace bless her as well.

Father, Father, here's also an urgency. Yes. Yesterday I met a woman. I was cooking for her and my friend because she can't move out of the house to cook for herself anymore because her mother died. But when we met them in a nice place and I brought all the food I cooked, it was clear she needed prayer. And I prayed and spoke in the name of Jesus, and I saw that she also had to forgive something. And I prayed this and she spoke it, and this comes very easy from my heart always. And I was so much in the Holy Spirit that I... then she said she is obsessed, since twenty years is suffering from a... you can say like a demon, and it's passed from generation to generation. It's very, very heavy. And for me, it's nothing I'm afraid of because I had experience with these things. And I thought in the flow of grace, and I'm so happy and light and it's not me doing it, I said, 'I can do something for you.' And she said she tried everything and paid so much money for people. I said, 'Did you ask enlightened people?' Yeah, she was with llamas, Tibetan llamas. They tried it and it nearly worked, but then she slipped back. And I know that from other obsessions, that when the time is not there, it... today then I tried, then I said, 'Okay, just let me do it,' and just a little thing. And then it was like that, when the demon showed up so strongly, she said, 'No, you have to stop it.' I said, 'I'm sorry,' because I didn't ask Jesus really whether it's my job, because He said already it's all done, you know? But because I can't see people suffering, it's an immediate impulse to do something. So then I prayed for her again, it was better, but she said it's so extreme that if someone is addressing this one, it really... it's like she feels very stiff. And therefore today she's with someone she thinks can be a hope, but Jesus already gave her, because I listened, He healed the soul. He took away that she believes she cannot be healed, and therefore...

Already it's all done, you know, but because I can't see people suffering, it's an immediate impulse to do something. So then I prayed for her again. It was better, but she said it's so extreme that if someone is addressing this one, she feels very stiff. And therefore, today she's with someone she thinks can be a hope. But Jesus already gave her, because I listened, he took away that belief that she cannot be healed. And therefore, all I had to do was done, or Jesus' work is already fixed. But yeah, today she's with someone who thinks he can do something with the aura and really throw it out. I don't know whether or not; it's not in my hand. I only know she's already healed. Okay, so I just like to pray for her right now because the session must be in this time, and her name is Jurina. Just that she gets something here. And I feel to say thank you. Thank you, Lord, that everything is already done, that you're always in your grace, that nothing is missing, and that we are in your heart. Thank you, Satguru.