Resistance Means Suffering - 22nd August 2016

It's very important that we look at this, you see, because every suffering... the mind itself is only consciousness. Is it consciousness? Now, if truly it is understood that there is no personalized 'I', it is experienced that there is no personalized 'I', and we are not picking up any idea, then it is all impersonal, you see. So, although suffering also happens within the realm of consciousness, what does it imply? It implies that something personal is being picked up. Therefore, we cannot say that, 'Truly, I have dropped the sense of personal I, and yet suffering is continuing, but I know that I am not suffering because it is only God which is doing everything.' It is a very subtle point. It's a very important point, and it is a point where all—not all, but many—get stuck.

Yeah, so what then happens is that we say that it is not the sun which is going on, coming from the east and setting in the west; I know it is the earth which is going around the sun, you see. Okay, so even when the experience of suffering is coming—which means that the experience of the sun rising and the sun setting is happening—we try to say, 'Yes, but I know the truth actually, it is the earth which is going around.' But what is being experienced? What is being experienced is this sun rising and sun setting, you see. So what happens here? This realm is designed just like gravity; it acts to pull objects together and doesn't push them apart. Yes, just like water flows from the higher to the lower level, in the same way, there is only suffering if there is something personal. Although all of it is happening in the realm of consciousness, you see, so nothing is changing in reality about consciousness, but the appearance of suffering implies that there is a misbelief. I am believing myself to be something which I am not, you see.

So instead of saying, 'Oh no, no, you see, no, I am this consciousness, whether there is suffering or not,' okay, now we try to push the suffering away by using mental concepts, and that creates more resistance. Instead of that, it is better to look, you see. Better why? You see, and that is the work that we have, that's why we're in Satsang. What is it that I am still believing about myself? And inquire. Can the 'I' be suffering? Suffering and everything happens only within consciousness. This pointing is God's play within consciousness, telling you that there is no need to suffer now because you are not a person. There is nothing personal about you. Yay! Does this mean that we are resisting something? No. In fact, we are getting open, and openness and suffering are opposites. See, the intellectual mind or the Advaita mind can make this very confusing, but it is not possible in this realm for this hand to be open and at the same time for it to be closed. So the hand being open is the opposite of suffering, you see.

So, in consciousness, it is only a play of consciousness. But what can happen is that we can have... what is life telling us? Oh, life is telling us that the 'me' is being kept alive by suffering, and we are avoiding even that. Then something really big has to come and shake us out of this, you see. So I'm trying to save you a lot of trouble, because it is trouble that I experienced here myself. And what is not the end of suffering? So I was keeping the 'me' alive in Advaita itself. Then you see that the alarm clock is ringing—beep, beep, beep, beep—saying, 'The me is there, the me is there, the me is there.' Inquire. If the beep gets more and more intense, we can try to deny we are suffering as much as we like, but it doesn't really help.

To tell you for me, what is happening is there is... I don't have any identification with anything now. Like, you know, with family or anything. Even what thought comes, anybody's stories, what my soul is, anything—it doesn't matter because I don't believe any of those. But then I don't know if there is anything beyond that. On the superficial surface, there is wonderful... I am right to say that I still don't feel that complete satisfaction, Father. Somehow, I don't know if you are able to feel what I'm feeling from my heart, that there's a deep urge here. Or is it true, or is this all kind of melted? I'm not sure. But until that complete satisfaction... you know, just like an example, if you are really hungry and if you have a proper meal and your tummy is full and you feel so satisfied, you know, you just relax into it completely. That's exactly what I feel like I'm looking for: that kind of complete satisfaction or complete sweetness of contentment or whatever it is, you know? That's something which is coming up from... I don't know what is going to give me that, you know? It's also again, I'm not seeking, I'm not sure about it, but like... okay, maybe see, that's why it's very subtle, Father. This is what I'm not in the book because it's very subtle. I'm not able to know. So it's like there's nothing outside making me happy. No, I don't know. What does this all... I'm just mystified. I've heard that there's so much contentment that you feel completely full, and I just want that.