Remember: The Intention of Prayer Is More Important Than the Method - 5th April 2024

And you can never leave God in actuality, and yet there is no other hell, according to me, than to have this sense of separation from Him. To have the sense of duality is all the hell that we need. And to find His presence, to find His light, to find His holy fire in your heart is teaching you already. If the fire is burning, if the flame is alive in your heart, then all the Maya is being burnt, ignorance is being burned, you see? So the important part of the learning is to burn that which is false. You can reduce this a bit. So the point of the... so what happens in the discipleship of the Atma? We may be expecting a classroom, that okay, now I'm a disciple of the Atma, what time is the first lesson? But primarily, in the discipleship of the Atma, in His holy fire, it is the false which is being burned. That is a way of teaching.

It's all unfamiliar territory because we are learning. We are used to learning in a worldly way. In the way of the Atma, He will guide you and He may even speak to you in words, but most importantly, in His light, the false gets repelled, it gets burnt. You cannot hold on to the false if you're living in His presence. That is the highest way of teaching, which no human can do. As the light is burning bright in your heart, as His flame is burning bright in your heart, then naturally you will not be attracted to things which are selfish. You will not be attracted to grasping and collecting in the world. You will not be attracted to living in the way of 'me, me, me, what's in it for me?' Kindness, compassion, love—all those start to seem more and more natural to you. Anger, hatred, selfishness—all of these will start to seem more and more unnatural to you.

All that which we need to give up—all our addictions, all our afflictions—are burnt in His light, are burnt in His fire. And so many of you have seen that those things which seemed so difficult earlier, those habits, those things which hold us down into a more selfish sort of state, now they get dropped. Sometimes they may seem a little tough, but not impossible as they used to be. As a disciple of the Holy Spirit, you learn how to live with true love in your heart with the deepening of self-knowledge. So with all of this, servitude to God, devotion to God will come naturally as well. So keep at it. How does an illiterate man like me speak scriptural words? The Atma is using him. That is why it is called the Satguru within.

So don't mix. The tussle, of course, in the human condition is to mix self-will and God's will. I mean, even that if you're lucky; mostly it is, for most people, it is just self-will. The notion of God's will just becomes either just a fantasy or we use a blanket conceptual understanding to say everything is God's will without actually coming into handing over our existence to God. Only one who is... and I shared this with someone who wrote to me in the morning saying, he said to me that, 'Father, you have said that to know even one thing is to know too much.' And for those of you who've not heard me say that, I'm saying that conceptual knowledge is ignorance and it gets in the way of true self-knowledge. And because the Self is actually all there is, all knowledge is contained in self-knowledge. So to know even one thing conceptually is to know too much.

So he said, 'Then all my effort is not needed,' you see? Because all effort is also an effort towards knowing and mental activity. So this is a very common mistake that all of us may make even in Advaita. So that's why Kabir Ji said something very beautiful. He said that somebody who has spent their entire life in the quest for truth might at the end of that quest see it cannot be known. But there's a different flavor, a different perfume of that 'it cannot be known' than somebody who comes as a freshman in college and says 'it cannot be known.' So one can say it all has to happen by grace only after they've surrendered their entire life to grace. But to use it as an excuse for laziness or for the absence of faith or surrender, then it can be a very beautifully set mind-trap which has all the right words of Advaita but does not have the heart of the Bhakta.

So we want the benefit of grace without the cost of discipleship. It's a beautiful book by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, 'The Cost of Discipleship'. What is the cost of discipleship? Everything that you're holding on to. To expect the benefit without handing over would be a very smooth and cool trick which nobody can pull off. So that's why I said that we must put everything that we think we have at our disposal. And we become very... we become the non-doer very conveniently when it comes to spirituality. With our work, with our family, with everything else: 'I will do this, I want this, I need this, this must happen,' you see? All those things are very much prevalent. But when it comes to God, we say, 'Grace has to do it. Why should I inquire? Grace has to do it. Why should I pray? Grace has to do it.' Yes, grace has to do it, but it is our job to set the table whether the guest comes or not.

So I watched the episode where Shabri meets Ram yesterday. I was watching what happened. This lady, very young lady, her Guru said he is very happy with her so she can attain Mukti and leave this world. She said, 'I don't want to go because I want to meet Ram. That is what I want more than even Mukti, for Ram to come to meet me.' So he said, 'Okay, now you stay next to that lake sort of place, you make a corner for yourself, and there one day He'll come.' So this lady, for decades after decades, every day she puts flowers on the path, she collects the ber every day. And maybe 50, 60, 70 years later He comes. But when she collects the ber, she's scared that some of the ber may not be sweet, so she selects every day after tasting the sweetest one.

So then, after He comes, she's overjoyed of course, and then offers Him the ber to eat. And Lakshman gets upset. He says, 'Are you going to give a guest who's come to your house the jhootha ber?' which means that you've already eaten a bit of it and you're going to offer that to a revered guest who's come to your house. And Shabri in her devotion didn't realize that this could be considered something bad. She said, 'I just didn't want him... I wanted him to have the sweetest ones.' Ram says that like a mother tastes everything she gives to the child before she feeds him or her, just like that, this mother has tasted it for me, and in that there is so much love I feel of the mother, and she must feed me these ber.

So what a beautiful story of devotion. How many decades she waited. She was a young lady who became so old, but every day with full love she would set her goodies beautifully, set her path full of flowers for Him to come. Such a beautiful story, so joyful. But also I was lamenting at my lack of faith looking at that story. Could I have waited that long with undying faith, with the undying love that God will come? What happens to us within a week if you're praying and nothing happens? There is no sweetness in the prayer, we start becoming upset saying, 'Why nothing is happening?' And here is one who spent her whole life. And when she started, there was no worldly Ram that he knew that he will come, he was not born also.

That kind of fire, that kind of faith is needed. I'm not saying that He will only come after 70 years, but the question to ask ourselves is that: is there a better life to live, even if it took 70 years, even if it took 70 lifetimes? Is there a better option of a different life to live than to remain in love and in devotion to God and service to God in this way, collecting the ber every day for Him to eat? So because we are in this instant gratification, fast food world, we made spirituality also like that. Do you feel that He will come? God will come or no? It still seems unreal to you? That is the question. What does your heart tell you? If you go with what your heart tells you, then you will learn to live in faith. The mind will say, 'Oh, what about me? I'm getting so old, I can't walk so much, this is so frustrating.'

A mistake we've made, and it's a very popular mistake, is that we have taken all love, intelligence, beauty, light, grace out of God and just made Him into like a scientific force of nature called Consciousness. And although it is true that He is Consciousness, but when we look at that as just that scientific-sounding word, then it just feels like, 'Okay, now when we go to this side we have the Indian Ocean and we go to that side there's the Bay of Bengal,' like that.

So, a very popular mistake we've made is that we have taken all love, intelligence, beauty, light, and grace out of God and just made him into like a scientific force of nature called Consciousness. And although it is true that he is Consciousness, but when we look at that as just that scientific-sounding word, then it just feels like, okay, now when we go to this side we have the Indian Ocean and we go to that side there's the Bay of Bengal, like that. So when we go within, there is my being, you see. My being is made up of the boundless Consciousness and I am that which is aware even of all of this. So we made it pretty lifeless, and especially if it remains as just an object of understanding. That's why for about a year or more I've been reiterating this point that remember that you're speaking of a living being, a loving being, an intelligent—the only intelligent being. Isn't it such a great discovery to find that he lives in your heart?

Who is the sage or teacher you admire the most historically? This is Shankara, somebody may say, or some other. Now one day you found that it is Shankara who lives within you. Then... but I'm talking about God, without whom even the greatest sage like Shankara is nobody. He lives within you as the holy presence of Atma within. So remember that your mind wants you to fly higher in the world while also restricting you from flying higher. The world plays this game. But the more worthwhile endeavor or more worthwhile expedition is to see how deep you can go in your heart. What are the depths of your being? And nothing in the world can stop you from that. They'll try. The mind in all forms will try, of course—your own mind and those around you. Everyone will say, 'Enough, enough, enough.' But this exploration to go deeper and deeper, dive deeper and deeper, it only gets sweeter and sweeter.

So don't complain. Don't get irritated if you hear the word 'sweet' and you say, 'No, but I'm still so dry, it's all arid.' How many lifetimes have you spent? When is our right to complain? Don't waste your time in complaining and in entitlement. He knows. He knows what is best. He knows. The mother knows when to feed the child. So don't take on intelligence which you don't have.

Father, thank you for shedding light on this particular one about being a living presence. That part has always challenged me. I still don't think so... I believe that it's a living presence. Please help me, guide me. How do we go from these things?

You will hear from me, you will hear from those who have come to the darshan of that in that way, but don't try too much to force your mind to understand or to even believe, you see. It is getting seated in you as you're hearing the words in satsang. And more and more as you deepen in his light, for now you may say, 'Yes, there is a sense of presence here,' but that sense of presence doesn't seem like a living being yet. But it is only on that basis do you call yourself a living being, you see. I don't want to give you a conceptual understanding too deeply, but let's look at this: How is this bundle of food a living being? It can talk, walk, and it can move. Talk, walk, and grow. That's the... so suppose you're not moving, you're not even breathing. You don't have to go step by step. For a moment you even stop breathing. Are you a living being? You may say that 'I am perceiving, I am perceiving.' This perception doesn't go away when I'm awake. So this 'I am' which is perceiving makes you living, isn't it?

So who is that? The 'I am' which is perceiving is the only living being. Yes. Who is that? You will see that your life comes from it, from him, and he is made up of just absolute reality of the Self. Whether we call it Nirguna Brahman, whether we refer to it as the highest usage of the word Shiva, the one who lives in your heart, your spiritual heart, is made up of this absolute purity. Okay? And the mind wants to make it a force of nature like a river or an ocean, but you will start to notice that it is the animating force of this universe. It is the intelligence that runs this world. And we have seem to have gotten disconnected from that, although we really can't, but we seem to have gotten... and we seem to have pledged our allegiance to a more limited form of intelligence called the mind, whose narratives are very different from what you know in the heart.

So we are going to be disciples either way, isn't it? Either way we are going to be either a disciple of our mind or a disciple of our heart. So whether you call it discipleship, servitude, following the will of... you will either know what is what because of your mental narratives which are untrue, or how you are guided in the heart. So you will start to deepen in this. The more you spend time with the presence within, the more you intend to serve it instead of having it serve us, the more love, the more devotion we have, you will see that there is nothing truly living except that. It is the one in whose light all is shining. So it is going to be the most beautiful, the most joyous Guru you could ever attend. And as you start to notice the beats of your Atma's curriculum, we enjoy it so much.

Because what happened... I'll give you an example. I said in satsang the other day, the sweetness of his presence is so sweet that you can even taste it in the mouth. And I said, okay, I said that, it seems true, but I've never heard it from anyone and you know, I hope these kids don't think he's just losing it or he's completely gone, whatever. So then after one or two days, or maybe the next day, I heard a video where a Christian father said it, Sri Ramakrishna said it, and Papaji said it. Never heard it before like that. And then just randomly, not even searching for it. This is how the Atma guides us. And I feel the beauty of it is even deeper. I feel the beauty of it is that when a devotee with love expresses like that, I feel that God makes it true even if it wasn't true earlier, and then sends you the seeming evidence. It is. That's why I keep saying that past, present, future for him are nothing. They're just playthings. They are Lego bricks. And we are actually surrounded by miracles every day, and yet our mind finds a way to pull us back.

What are the odds of something like this? Even the simple thing—not that something great happened—but even this simple thing is so beautiful. But we become more and more sensitive to what it is trying to show us. The subtlety in our heart keeps growing. Inwardly you become like flowers, petals. The hardness starts to go away and then you start to swing to his beat. So it's the most beautiful, the most wonderful way to spend this human life. Because if you don't taste it, it can seem like... but it sounds so oppressive, you see. Couldn't Ma Shabri's story actually be compared to 'Waiting for Godot'? Like, who actually knows whether God will come? So I don't know if you read or heard this absurdist play called 'Waiting for Godot' where these two are just waiting for God, you see. But they, of course, much more casually, they're just talking about it and things like that.

So to the mind, that's how it seems like. He's just waiting for something to happen one day. Nobody's ever seen it, nobody's ever really provided any evidence of it, but more than half the world seems to be waiting for God. So it's not... but in reality it is not at all oppressive. It's the most joyful way to exist, filled with so much love that you never knew you had, so much insight about yourself which you would never get by reading things, by reading or learning worldly knowledge. So it is our insistence, it is our pride, it is our stubbornness to not leave our ways and to surrender ourselves to him that keeps becoming our own stumbling block from leaving this most beautiful life. And the most dangerous part of that is when you think you know some spiritual knowledge, like that sweet man wrote to me this morning. So we can make positions out of the non-positions.

So I'm telling you that even if Shabri, suppose she left her body and she never got the physical version of Ram, would you call it a wasted life? That is the question to ask. I feel that it is still the most beautiful life. If you didn't have even that ending, it is still the most beautiful life. That is the faith we need to have. Otherwise somewhere our entitlement keeps creeping in. If you look at the night sky and you say to it, 'I have the right to meet you in my heart,' you see, and every day you get more and more frustrated if it doesn't happen. 'Why am I not seeing the sky in my heart?' Do you have a right to be frustrated about it? No. Do you have any ownership over the sky? No. In the sky there are trillions of planets and you are nothing. What you take yourself to be is nothing even for this tiny planet. And we are talking about that in whose light all this movie is playing out and you say, 'But you should have come by now.' Imagine somebody goes to their terrace every night and says to the moon, 'See, oh, why didn't you come into my heart? You should have come by now.' It's crazy. Should the moon come to you, you see? What right do you have?

But here you're hearing that the Lord of this universe, and to whom this universe also is nothing at all, that can be found in your heart just by a little bit of faith, little deepening of love. Emptying yourself from selfishness is the best deal ever. But we get too caught up in our mind, full of self-concern, because somewhere all this still sounds mythical.

I'm just following this, you know, like Ramana Maharshi, Papaji, and Mooji from past 10 or 20 years, okay? So life was really good at the time. It's really since I had some issues with psychological issues, I had to be here, went to seek, get back, and I happened to meet Mooji in the YouTube video and everything came to settle down. All my fears and all sort of anxieties, all okay. So I left that since I was just moving around from one place to another place, so I thought that, okay, fine, I can control everything right now. And from past six months, I think it's getting more harder for me. That mind is too much heavy, right? And I'm not able to find the presence as such, okay? So I think it's a lot of fear and a lot of bad emotion. Sometimes I just sit for one or two hours in the morning, okay, so I'll be okay for rest of five to six hours and it's bang back on. So I'm not able to inquire into me. I think since I had a gap of that, I didn't practice that much, I'm feeling that I had done it, okay? And right now, really right here in my... so I just want to know something about how exactly, whether I'm literally using my mind to do the inquiry or I have still... I know that everything has been, you know, like I'm totally identified, okay? I know, I know the main game as such, okay? So I understand everything. So it's happening right there, but my presence is... I'm not feeling the presence as such, okay? So that's what I just called up last week. So I just... my wife told this right here, I right here, I just came here just... okay, I was alone, all alone, just doing, right? So let me be between the satsang, I think it really works out of satsang. So what exactly, you know, like morning I had a sort of a panic attack as such morning, and after that I just went for some meditation as such, Mooji guided meditations, things were really good right now, till right now is fine, okay.

But was there some trigger six months ago? Something happened or no?

I had some issues from childhood but... so I was just managing, that's not our issue. And I did go to a psychiatrist a couple of times, but it didn't work, I know that. And then I came to Ramana's and studied all those things and I was just, you know, sitting in office and accidentally found Mooji's speech as such from there, okay? So it was working fine, okay? So and I used to do the trekking and everything, I used to go for trekking, climbing, all. So six months back, I think so in the middle of the... hell, right? Started having fear from that six months, from right now, just having everyday like getting into the Papaji videos and all.

A couple of times, but it did work. I know that. And then I came to Rishikesh and studied all those things. I was just, you know, sitting in office and an accident for my speech as such from there, okay? So it was working fine, okay? So, and I used to do the trekking and everything. I used to go for trekking, climbing, all so. Six months back, I think so, in the middle of the hell, right? I started having fear from that. Six months from right now, just having everyday like getting into the Papaji videos and also doing that, but it's not up to the mark, I think so, for me. Where I'm getting fire, please help me with that. Thank you so much. Thank you.

Thank you. Welcome. Welcome to Satsang. So let's make it really simple to start with. Let's make it really simple. Who is aware of the perception of this hand? Simply. Don't rush it.

It's me.

It's you. You are aware. So tell me something about that. Can it be perceived? Can it be seen? Or do you have some quality to that 'me'?

Yeah, I can see the hand. I can see the hand.

You can see the hand. Yeah. This 'I' that sees the hand, okay, tell me something about that one. One quality, one attribute.

I is simply there.

Simply there. You are simply there. But when you say 'there,' you don't mean in this space, do you? Because I could say, where is that 'I'? What would you say?

Yeah, maybe like it's something really... watch that. Something watches.

Yeah, something watches. From where does it watch?

I can see as perceived that to my eyes.

Okay, yes, yes. The one that sees through the eyes, where is that one?

Something which I can't express.

Don't worry. So in a very simple way, this is the inquiry. Yeah? To genuinely ask: who is witnessing this world? Who is aware of the perceptions of this world? You see, we can say it is 'I', okay? You see? But this 'I' is known through which means? On what basis do we call this 'I'? Do we perceive this 'I'?

We don't perceive the 'I', but it's simply there watching and maybe I'm just getting identified along with that. I think it's so 'I' plus 'I', but 'I' getting out of that 'I' is a problem for me.

Okay, so getting out of the 'I' is a problem for me. So there are two of you. Yeah? One is the 'I' and the second is the one for whom this is a problem.

Yes, sir.

Yeah. So which one is real? Come. Which one is real? Can you please clarify once again?

So maybe I try without mind.

Okay, so you said something beautiful actually, and it's very important to look at that. Okay? You said that this 'I' which is beyond perception, beyond time and space in some way, to get out of or to stay with becomes a problem for 'me'. Yeah, you're right. So there's 'I' which you are, which is 'I', yeah? But there seems to be also 'me' which has problems. You see? So this 'me' which is independent of this 'I' which is perceiving, which is witnessing, yeah? Which means this, does it exist?

It doesn't exist, but just see my fearful thoughts and all of things. I can see that. Like maybe sometimes we be somewhere when I'm doing the office work, whatever it is, I do concentrate on that, I'll do it. Okay? So when I'm just free, all the starts coming for no reason. I don't think so I'm really... for no reason, I think I can see that. I know that I'm getting identified, but still the fear is there.

So let's break the process of identification into smaller parts, okay? So that we can see if it's possible to not be identified. Yeah? So just be empty and allow a thought to come. Tell me if in the appearance of the thought you are already identified.

Automatic.

Okay, try it out. Okay? Just be empty. Allow the next thought to come. Tell me, in just the appearance of the thought, does identification happen? So if you break up the process of engaging with the thought into two parts, attention and belief, you are noticing that just with attention nothing is happening actually. You also have to believe the content of the thought. Okay? So when the Zen masters say thoughts are visitors, let them come and let them go, don't serve them tea, they were talking about withdrawing our belief from them.

Yeah, that's the belief which causes the trouble. Yeah, that's what I'm facing. That earlier it was not there, so it was really good for me. So everything was peaceful as such and sometimes it would happen and that time no issues. But the inquiry which I think I should do it more, I don't think so it's happening.

Okay, so just try for a minute or two to allow these thoughts to come and go and withdraw your belief from them and give me a report. I want to hear what happened.

Okay, you're fine. So I could, I can do that. So that's a... I somehow...

So to start with, just try this. Just to be empty means allow all thoughts to come and just let them come and go. Don't believe. And if you find yourself believing it, don't worry. Start fresh. Don't get attached to that. Yes? Otherwise what will happen is you believe the thought, and it happens to everyone, then the mind will give you more thoughts: 'Oh, you should not have believed. He told you to not believe.' You see? You'll end up believing a lot more. So when you recognize that you got identified with something, start again fresh with the next thought. Be empty. Nothing is happening. So you start getting some space in your system again, and then the inquiry can be. Right now it seems like you've run out of space. Thoughts have scared you too much. So once you start to find this space again by being empty as much as possible, then your inquiry, I will guide you more. Because some amount of peace is needed even for inquiry. So let's first come to that little bit of peace. Otherwise our mind will resist the inquiry with all its might and then it'll become even more difficult and we feel even more oppressed.

Too crazy. Yes, exactly, exactly.

So for now just remember the Zen saying: thoughts are visitors, let them come, let them go, don't serve them tea. No matter what it is saying, you let it go. Some relief will come to you and with that relief then more space will come for your inquiry or your prayer.

Settle down. You mean to say that once I get settled down, so then you mean to say that to the inquiry, you mean to say like...

Yeah, so just report back to me after trying it for a few days. Yeah? Sure. Just to be empty and then we see what is, how it flows.

Okay, so it was really good a couple of years back. Yeah, I don't know why it is. I think it's mind is doubting, I think so again.

But one thing you must do is forget everything about the past.

Mhm. I think I'm doing that. I think I got totally, you know, like tangled with my mind this way, but I can, I'm aware of it. I'm totally aware of it. I can see it as such.

Because the mind is trapping you with things about the past. Past progress, how it was versus now.

Yeah, it tells that because previously, you know, I used to do all work and whatever is right now, it tells that whatever it tells, it's going very negative. Whatever I want you to be, mind tells that you can't do it.

Yeah, so just empty. No past. You just started. You just started right now.

It's attacking me in all ways. Morning I do the meditation, the chanting, everything. One, one-two hours it will be fine. Suddenly, you know, like when I want to do something that's really productive, mind comes back once again: 'You can't do that.' And there, so that really scares me also. Okay? So then I just go through Master's speech, all then subsides, but I'm not free. I'm not able to like naturally be. That's my...

Starting now, okay? Just allow all the thoughts to come and go. Don't give them any truth value. You see, our belief is nothing but our assent to say, 'Yes, you are true.' You see? That is what belief is. So when we give truth value to a thought, we take the narrative to be true, and in taking the narrative to be true, we take the actual truth to be false. The truth of God's presence, the truth of your reality is awareness itself. So it'll tempt you again and again.

Yeah, but you just... it's happening more right now. The more I see, the more I do this meditation right now, hearing to the Master, the thing, and sometimes maybe in a day or some time it's getting more. I think it's resisting. I don't know if it is resisting that, I'm resisting it, or it is having its power to resist where I can't see more deep inside. That's the problem, I think so.

Yes. So this is coming from where now?

Yeah, this comes from mind, I think so.

Huh. So it's the mind. Just let it go. Okay? It'll seem very true initially. You see? It will seem very true: 'This is my condition, this is the truth.' But as you learn to just let them go, then you will find that there's so much peace and so much spaciousness within you. You see? It is the lack of that spaciousness which is making you Helter Skelter.

Making you... previously it was there. Just let go, it was it. But right now, you know, like I just look back and see a couple of years back to do that, it's really cool, it's really peaceful. And right now it has become the problem for me.

Which is? Start letting it go. Try for a couple of days, okay? And if it doesn't work, we will give you an alternative solution. Don't worry. Thank you so much. Thank you. So the key is to not resist. The key is to not resist. We say the images should not come, thoughts should not come. I'm saying let it all come. Let it all come and let it all go. Don't grasp at anything. Its natural nature is to come and go. When we grasp, we suffer. So just let all images come. It can seem scary initially because we feel that, 'Oh, I don't know what it will show me.' You see? But so many of these children also went through this phase and I said to them, the mind is not infinite. Only your Atma is infinite. You see? So you start, you start to say, 'Bring it on. Okay, tell me what do you want to show me.' You welcome it. Then you see in five, ten minutes it runs out of images. Yeah? Just say, 'You're welcome. Do whatever you want, but I'm not going to grab at you.' Otherwise it has made us into this fearful sort of state where it has scared us with what it can show us. Nothing. It's just images. Nothing will happen. Don't worry. Sometimes it happens that it seems like there's a lot of heat in our life. Just something, people, how they are. You see all this stuff and the mind tells us, 'How can the world be so unfair? How can God be so unfair?' All of these things, you see? But actually that burning is important. It's good. When we run out of moves in the world, then we turn towards God. And then your love for God, your strength in God becomes so much that no power outside can shake you from it. So does that mean that we should continue to be in oppressive situations? Yes, in a way, that till it brings you to God's guidance within, and then God will guide you as to whether something has to change or you have to remain. It can sound like tough. So instead of running outwardly, run inside. Then you don't leave out of fear, you leave also out of love. I know it's unusual in this modern world to speak like that, in the sense that if you're in any oppressive situation, some people may feel like they have a bad marriage, some bad partnership, some bad work situation, something. So even that you can leave, but leave from the guidance of your heart. Leave from the presence of love. Till then, instead of trying to run on the outside because that won't solve anything, run deeper inside. And it can seem tough, but only when we are squeezed like that do we truly go. Otherwise we still... so these situations where our egoic throat is being squeezed is actually very helpful.

The experience of presence and whatever you have shown, the faith shakes sometimes because it feels like I have not yet paid the price for it. I have not yet paid enough price for it. It's like it's got free from you.

Yes. Then it's like, is it true? Because we hear stories again and again like people are so... like God is making a mistake. 'How can it come to me? It's not worth it.' Then when I see this life also, I feel like there's so many... I look at all of you and I see that you're so much more spiritual than I ever was. How did He give this fool with His presence? I just don't get it actually. Same years change everything, change and back on the... I understand actually. There are many brothers and sisters in the Satsang, in Guruji's Satsang also, that I know that had awakening experiences, had the experience...

Again, like people are so like, "God is making a mistake. How can it come to me? It's not worth it." Then when I see this life also, I feel like there's so many... I look at all of you and I see that you're so much more spiritual than I ever was. How did He give this fool with His presence? I just don't get it, actually. Same here.

I understand. Actually, there are many brothers and sisters in the satsang, in Guruji's satsang also, that I know that had awakening experiences, had the experience of their true nature. But the thing is that the mind doesn't give up after that; it tries even harder. So for us to stabilize in that, we need to continue very deeply and just stay with this, and you'll be helped.

Another thing is, another thing why it shakes up for me is you said at some point of time God will... our circumstances will squeeze you or God will slap you. But my life is literally like very calm, nothing great has happened ever, so nothing worst also happened. So again, I keep on doubting that. So dull, so simple, and then how can it happen? I just keep on doubting. So, doubt on both sides: that this greatest gift I seem to be getting so simply, but I don't seem to be deserving; and on the other side, Father keeps talking about life will slap you, God will push you, you know, all of these things. Even that is not happening. So something is wrong somewhere.

But if you keep going like this, which is that if you follow just the slightest nudges, then it's not necessary that these slaps will happen. So remain sensitive in your heart and follow His guidance, then we don't need to. Kabir Ji said it is not possible for you to be in God's presence and to suffer at the same time. You see, otherwise it would mean that you can suffer in hell in heaven. You can't suffer in heaven. Heaven would not be heaven. And what makes heaven heaven? His presence. So if you're living with God's light, you're in heaven. You can't suffer. If you're living in the shadow of the mind, then even when you think you're not suffering, you're actually suffering. When you think you're winning, you see, actually it is setting you up for a slap.

So these simple things... we all heard this as children: for those who pray when they're happy, then why would they ever need to suffer? It's got a very deep message. If you're living in God's light, then even if you try, you can't suffer. So suffering you must use to bring you deeper into God's light. Can a stream of perceptions make us suffer? Not inherently, no. There's nothing in a perception which can inherently make you suffer. It is the narrative which the mind creates on the basis of those perceptions which is the cause of all suffering. So use that to let go of all the narratives and to fall deeply in your heart. Then you start to taste such beauty in your heart, it won't matter what the world is doing.

To Father, it's a report and it's a sharing. So one time, like, I was coming in the auto to work and, you know, this guy was driving very roughly and it was almost at every brake he's going to crash into the other car, right? So he was driving very dangerously.

Your cab driver?

Yeah, very dangerously. Like, he's braking at every step, going at a speed that you would normally not prefer. So you prayed really hard. Yes, Father. And it's not just that, like, you pray and pray and then your voice or Guruji's voice, like, "Stay, stay, stay. Nothing's going to happen." Although I called on and said, "Hey, listen, I'm sharing you my... I don't know if I'm coming back home or not." It was that. You told him still?

Yeah, yeah. He said, "Okay, like, be careful." I mean, no one can do anything in that situation, nor can I get down. I mean, didn't you tell him to stop and get down?

I stopped. I told him, "Drive slowly." All of that happened, Father. After that, you could not get down? No, Father. It was... I was getting late for work and I didn't know when I'll get the next cab, you know? Be calm. So that happened. And of course, I was listening to your something coming and...

Very good, very good. Would you say that you're in unceasing prayer? See, which includes... prayer doesn't have to be... and but this is not an excuse, but we have to be true to ourselves. Prayer can just be a quiet prayer. It doesn't have to be in words. So if you are empty, then that is one of the most beautiful prayers. So I was saying till last week that either you are empty all the time or you have to pray all the time. And I realized that actually both are the same thing. Even to be empty is a quiet prayer. It's a very high prayer to be empty.

So what is your endeavor? Nobody can be 100%. So what is your endeavor? Are you trying to remain empty all the time? Are you trying to use the ads or some other prayer all the time? What is the... is it in your mind or even that I...

So I like to... to you every night and know... but again, this is to you: "Oh my Lord, my God, my whole being is Yourself. The mind which has been given to me is Your consort. The life of death and energy which You have given me are Your attendants. The body is the temple in which I worship You. Whatever I eat, when I eat, where or do, are all part of the worship that I keep on performing. Even when this body goes, I am. Whenever I go on a walk, I feel I'm going on a pilgrimage. Whatever I say is all in praise of You. In fact, whatever I do in this world in any way is all aimed at You." So there is no duality in this.

Hey, so do you feel like you are able to remain in His love, His light, His presence all the time or most of the time?

When there are things, attractions outside, involved in stories and stuff, again I go back. So something... it happens. It's not planned early, but it depends.

So why don't you pray all the time? Sleep, no trouble. Sleep straight, you can't trouble yourself. So we're fine. The rest of the time, is your intention to pray all the time? All the time? Yeah, yeah. So do you feel that any activity would be higher than praying or remaining empty for God?

So let's make it a deep intention that... and a one-pointed intention to just be in His worship. Whether that worship is to be in a quiet prayer of the heart or to be it in a prayer with lips, with words, with the heart chanting the words because your heart loves to pray—and some of you are sending beautiful reports about that—or just dwelling in His love, in His sweetness, no matter what may be happening in the world.

Now, if you're in a meeting, for example, is it... if you're in a meeting and you have to be engaged, or you're in a phone conversation or something and it needs your engagement, so you may not find that you can do the full ads prayer or something like that. But give it your maximum instead of your minimum. I don't know whether you heard me saying that, you see? So give it your maximum. Put your best foot forward for God, you see? And then He will make sure that nothing in the world goes wrong or any the we may have.

So if you're in a phone call, for example, and you can't... you have to hear what they're saying. There are too many people talking usually on these Zoom calls and things like that, so we don't have the attention to do the full prayer. But if you're doing the Shiva prayer, then you can just: Om Namah Shivaya. Sometimes we are speaking and even that is not possible, you see? So one Om Namah Shivaya, that is always possible. Now suppose that you really engage fully with something which itself is very meditative, actually. So it's not bad. But even then, try to be anchored with the love in your heart, you see? So simply put on, no matter what is happening, and when we forget, we have to return.

So let's make that... let's make that intention very deep. Hanuman Prasad Poddar was saying the other day—he left the body decades ago, but seeing the other things I heard him say the other day—that only two things are needed. See, one is the eagerness of our intentions and second is the deep faith in God's power. So if He's truly all that you want, then He'll make His presence palpable to you all the time. And all the time doesn't happen here also. That's why I'm a foolish, stupid beggar. But the intention is there. The intention is there.

And so yesterday what happened is that I saw the Shabri episode and I was crying, crying. So my daughter felt like I needed some entertaining, so she said, "No, now we are going to watch Rocky Aur Rani." Rocky Aur Rani. So both Kima and I watched the movie with her, and she was fast-forwarding thankfully. So quickly we watched the movie and, you see, so all that can still happen. I was not saying, "No, no, no, I have to be with God, I can't." If that happens, then that happens. But in that moment, that didn't happen. So while that was happening, I was in my prayer. I was feeling God's presence so strongly, His sweetness. There were moments where I forgot and I got involved in the thing fully, you see? But when I remembered, I returned.

So let's use every moment of this life, every breath of this life, as much as we can to be in His love, in His devotion, in His light. So when we surrendered, that is good. When you say that you're empty for very long periods of time, that's very good. But one experiment you can try is to see that for those who can just be empty, for them to pray is very simple. So one day say, "I will pray all day," because I was empty anyway. So then there is no mind resisting it, and then just notice for yourself what happens.

So this is good. You feel like... and for all of you who are using the prayer as a bath, do you feel like a particular prayer is taken root now? After about... I heard the other day that it has been about a year. I felt it's been from three months or something. We feel like something has just taken root where it just chants.

Yeah, yes Father. I was... but also sometimes when I, you know, sharing Jesus and Ram, I want to pray to Jesus because Jesus...

Firstly, that we must remember that it's all God. So it's not that serious, you see? Secondly, when something is just taking root, then the mind will come and want to resist that. It'll come and say, "But this, but this," you see? But since we are still early in the processes—even a year is a very short period of time, you see—that you can still experiment a bit, taste a sense of it. And in your love and devotion to God, He will guide you. He will guide you deeper and deeper.

So that's why some of you found it... may find it strange is that my prayer is the Jesus prayer with Ram as the mantra. So my prayer is: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me as bless my heart with the light of spirit. Ram, Ram." So it can sound like... I can understand it sounds strange, like, "Why would he do that? He's saying that prayer should be rooted," you know, all of that. But it's strange, yeah. So it can seem very strange, how can he be guided by the heart in this strange way? But actually we have accepted this in many ways, like even the ISKCON Mahamantra is what? Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare. So why Krishna and Ram? Then you say, "Okay, but they are the same." But these are also the same. There is literally no difference between Jesus and Ram, see?

So it can happen like that, that in your heart something may emerge like that. And if you don't have duality in your mind, none of that will make a difference in your prayer, you see? But if you have duality in your mind, then it'll make... so something here is deeply aligned to the name of God as Ram but also loves Jesus very deeply. So my heart guided me this way. And at least to me, it's very apparent that it's working, that it is deepening something here. So of course, a long, long, long way to go, but that's how you may be guided, you see? So if you're open and you're making sure that you're not getting into any mental fantasies or imagination or anything like that, and you're true to your heart, then the prayer itself will teach you how to pray.

For me, I do... do more like just deep really praying that, "Please help, please."

Yeah, are you trying to inquire unceasingly? Not are, but I provided the solution for that. So even while working, if your path is inquiry, so remain empty, yeah? Then every once in a while, every minute, every two minutes, you can ask yourself: "Who am I? Who am I?"

You're not getting into any mental fantasies or imagination or anything like that, and you're true to your heart, then the prayer itself will teach you how to pray.

For me, I do more like just deep, really praying that, 'Please help, please.' Yeah.

Are you trying to inquire unceasingly?

Not unceasingly, but I provided the solution for that. So even while working, if your path is inquiry, so remain empty, yeah. Then every once in a while, every minute, every two minutes, you can ask yourself, 'Who am I? Who am I?'

So we must come to a point where we are in unceasing prayer, whether it is the being empty for God in the quiet prayer through inquiry, or through prayer prayer. And you see that your spirituality—I don't want to create benchmarks—but really starts to help to stay in that presence all the time. Let the world do what it wants; you stay with it. That's the prayer.

I mean, the only struggle I still face would be this kind of situation at work where, again, it requires me to be very, very involved in...

So what you're saying is that if it's really involved, you're not able to remind yourself every one or two minutes to inquire? Is it like that? Then you must try. You must try, because nothing is that involved. But what happens is that if you're going to the mind level, then it can seem like we can miss that. So just make sure you keep yourself anchored through the love of God, through bringing in His presence. Like, so many tools are available to you. But the intention should be not to waste a moment also. That keeps reminding you to be so.

One of the sages I was hearing, they said something very strong which I didn't want to repeat the other day, but today it's coming more naturally to say. But really, it was a lap here also, where he said that for some saint like Tulsidas Ji or somebody, to miss one moment of being in God's presence or praying to God was like, for us in the human condition, it would be like a child has died. So he said that he would lament so much, saying, 'What have I done? I've forgotten God for one moment.' You see? But this is very, very strong medicine, of course. And like right now, all of us are beginners, so we must not, you know, get pressurized that much. But there will come a point that you will actually see the contrast between being in His presence and living as if separated from Him in such a deep, strong way.

And these ones that I shared the story of, like Tulsidas Ji, Surdas Ji, they used to consider themselves to be big, big sinners. You see, it was explained that it was because the benchmark changed so much. The benchmark itself changed. One moment of separation away from Him was too much for them. Yeah. So you just have to keep trying. You just have to keep trying because this is a lesson I'm also learning. A lesson I'm also learning is that we must learn from the lives of great sages, from the incarnations, to be slow to anger. To be slow to anger is something that is very important, and it's a constant work in progress here also. Like, it is the close ones which will trigger you. I think the message has been heard also, so half the question was for me, actually.

But we have to keep working at it. We have to pray for it, that we have to start noticing it, and you'll see it'll change. It's not the easiest thing, but weeks, months, years... but progressively it has changed the way I react to major things. But this is something that is very good, very good. When we start to notice in ourselves, then only we want to progress towards changing.

Now the problem is that sometimes I get into spontaneous doing that happens naturally.

Fine. Remember that the one on the receiving end of it is the most intelligent. He knows. He knows. You don't have to worry. He's not going to judge you at the end of your life. He knows us so much better than we do. It's your intention that counts. Krishna be anyway the younger one, so you know how younger ones are—'I want attention.' It's okay. Yeah. Okay.

After having said all that, just be careful about any visualization and imagination. Don't get into any of that. Don't, like, unless it is leading you to... like we said the other day, that's fine, where you use an image to go deeper in your heart. But that image should be used for that. It should not become just image, image; then it's just fantasification in the name of spirituality. Not that you're doing that, I'm just saying that when we come to a prayer where He is unperceivable light, He is what is apparent, and that is a very pristine prayer. I don't want to say the best, because in prayer there's no levels as such, you see? But it's pristine to meet Him as the blazing light in your heart, which is beyond perception. You see, to the mind these words are meaningless, but you know them in your heart.

So when I write to You in the morning, I sometimes feel, is it just...?

Yeah, it all depends. It purely depends on what your intention is. So if your intention is to be in service to Him, just to love Him and to deepen in His light, that is fine. But if you're spotting something in your intention itself which is ego, then you can ask for a better way. It's only that. Because people can do... yeah, beautiful. Intention is to wake up in the morning and first bow down to His... good. Remember, intention is primary. Thirty seconds, yeah. But your intention should never be that 'this much and not more.' Your intention should always be 'more and more and more, my whole life,' because we cannot say this much is enough. How many of us know how much is enough? I don't know.

Father, this intention you're talking about, it's like I want a better guide than the mind, and there's still some selfishness there.

Okay, you want God to be your guide. Yeah, good. That's good. I don't feel, actually, it's possible that someone does one lakh Japa every day and even after so much time of doing it they don't get the power. It's not possible. She probably is not expressing it outwardly in that way. It's bound to deepen. I know it happened. The world tries to get in the way in some way without realizing, because the mind plays like that. If you stop working, if you're deeply in sadhana and you're not listening to your mind, the mind will play someone next to you.

Let's tell her that we must read that 'Screwtape Letters' and to return to that book, because that exposes... 'The Screwtape Letters' is a book by C.S. Lewis which exposes every trick of the mind, how it works. This man, you know what this man was really exploring? Himself, finding God's presence, all of that, you see. So he was reading in a library, he was reading a beautiful book, it was getting him closer to the recognition of God. And so Screwtape is the name, you know, like for the mind. So Screwtape sends him a message saying, 'Ah, I think you've done very well. It's time for a break. Time to have a bit of lunch, is it?' So this man just says, 'Yeah, I'll have a bit of lunch and then I'll return to this.' Yeah. So he went for that lunch and then all was forgotten, what he was meeting inside. All of this, the mind has these very subtle tricks. And it doesn't have to come from here only; it can come from a phone call, it can come from somebody. 'But why are you chanting Jesus prayer with Ram?' That doesn't mean it can shake you, see? But your heart was telling you it is fine. So just be careful not to get shaken from our path of love. Just keep following the love for Him in your heart. As you follow the love for Him in your heart, it'll be clear.

And if it makes you like stupid, then be stupid, because the mind will say, 'But this is not rational. Everybody says it must be like that.' Faith. Faith is not rational. Yeah, yeah. And what is the mind's alternative? The mind's alternative is to judge your brother and sister. The mind's alternative is to create boundaries, not love. So this is the highest, best thing you can do, isn't it? If you can't have our mind empty and be in the silent prayer, open and empty, then best to fill it up with God. Fill it up with God.

Two main is... and then very strongly says word. So he starts with that. He starts with it. He says, you know, the mind gets quiet later. He says the world should be regarded as a dream, no difference. Just one question about, you know, should you... something about, you know, and stuff. And he says like, anything that takes you away from this should be discarded. When you look at study, don't... so just wanted to ask, this is just... it's a very obviously very bold way to live your life, is actually say that, okay, you know, is the sensations?

Absolutely. I think we've got to that point. Yeah, no, no, it's 100%. We cannot let go of our mind if we take the world to be real, because then the narratives it offers will have a huge amount of weight to them. Completely true. Until we don't take this Maya to be Maya, we keep saying that it's the biggest con artist because it's not real but pretending to be real. And the minute we give it reality, then we will never give up. Completely true. It's not possible. Suppose you took this world to be real, then the mind comes and tells you things about the world, then they will seem attractive for sure. It's all garbage, completely. Every... all questions fall away, yeah. All and what questions.

So truth value is very closely linked to meaning, no? So what you're saying is that it becomes irrelevant, therefore no truth value is also given. Now we have to also make sure that we don't fall into any nihilistic meaninglessness, you see? So meaninglessness must be... to meaninglessness is empty of the notion of meaningless also, see? Otherwise you can get trapped in that idea, 'Oh, you are meaningless, you are meaningless, this is meaning.' That's not the idea. The idea is to be empty of meaning and meaninglessness. So that is what unreality is, no?

Because it's very, very common that one of the mind's tricks is that when you're deepening in your sadhana, it will take you on some like daydream-type, hallucination-type thing. So don't fall for any of that, which is very... well, maybe I should not talk so much about it. So there is something called hallucination and there's something called vision, you see? So your hallucination will look like a daydream. It can pretend to have a lot of great scenery, but you will sense two things: one, that it's not coming from your heart, and second is that in its aftertaste it is leaving a sort of grasping, a sort of specialness, a sort of pride, you know, all this kind of stuff. But if it's a true vision in your heart, a true darshan, then all it leaves is sweetness. All it leaves is love. No pride. Everything should lead to the deeper love, the deeper sweetness, the deeper fire in your heart, the deeper, brighter, shining, unperceivable light. It's all good if it helps there.

But I keep reiterating this point because many can just... it's like getting home and that last very attractive turn will come, and the last very attractive turn will come. And when we've taken that turn too hard, then you won't listen to me also. Then it's just like, 'Oh, he doesn't know what he's talking about.' If it comes from the heart, the heart knows best how to pray. So we can trust Him. And don't... it's very beautiful where in the tutelage, in the discipleship of the Satguru presence within, that which is impossible for our mind to understand—like the nature of Shiva Himself, pure awareness, Nirguna Brahman, the nature of love—all of these things which are impossible for our mind to fathom are only understood—'understood' may not be the right word, but grasped in some sense, really grasped in the heart intuitively in the guidance, in the discipleship of the Satguru within.

And really don't ever feel like there's a conflict. Like Bhagavan, Guruji, this one—they are just in service to that Satguru within. So their only job, our only job, is to bring you to that. Because there you fathom all of this. Everything that is said in satsang will just be words, and then people get frustrated and make conceptual frameworks out of these words and think...

It might not be the right word, but grasped in some sense, really grasped in the heart intuitively in the guidance, in the discipleship of the Satguru with him. And really don't ever feel like there's a conflict like Bhagavan, Guruji, this one; they are just in service to that Satguru within. So their only job, our only job, is to bring you to that, because there you fathom all of this. Everything that is said in Satsang will just be words, and then people get frustrated and make conceptual frameworks out of these words and think that they've understood. Don't fall into those traps.

Also, what will happen is that other people will just have moments, glimpses of insight, and they say, 'I have come to awareness, I have realized it,' you see. 'So why are you giving me all this homework now? Unceasing prayers? I am it.' So those are the dangers of not really coming into the discipleship of the Atma, where we don't realize it but we become proud. So I'm very happy that you see that in the light of the Satguru within, all these words are starting to be grasped at a deeper level. That's very mature because it is also my job to make sure that your guard rails are correct, you see? Because if your guard rails are not correct, then the mind uses spirituality, and especially this kind of devotional deep spirituality, in this way to take you on some very strange adventure. So it's good to keep checking in with me so we can keep making sure that you're deepening in the love for the holy presence within yourself.

In the light of each everything, everything is seen. No remove. We only have to—we don't have to remove anything from the appearance. We just have to remove the sense of reality, like you said. So you don't have to pray that they should go away, not really. So reality, if you need to rely on a definition of reality, is the Vedanta 101, which is that that which comes and goes is not real. It doesn't mean that they should stop coming and going. It's not real is enough. It's not you, for sure. At best, at best.