Ram Means the Light of Atma - 17th April 2024

So this is the beautiful life of Lakshman, that he would do anything, give up his life easily for another young prince who just left his life, all his comforts. He was also newly married and he left his wife to serve his brother. His wife was left in the palace. Can we have this kind of devotion, this kind of faith in God, that to follow his will we give up whatever is needed in the moment? And notice that we are talking not about the incarnation of God himself; we're talking about those who are around him. Such devotion, such love, such servitude we've seen in the brothers. Then there is Sita Ji. She was the princess of Mithila, a young princess used to comfort and luxury, just got married, was going to be the queen of Ayodhya, but was told that your husband has been sent to vanvas, to exile. And she said that there's no chance that I don't come with you. Where you are, I am. Can we apply all these and see if this was to happen in our life, what would our stance be? So much sacrifice, so much devotion, so much servitude, because they recognized the light in Ram. They recognized that to follow him is a much better gift than a life of luxury.

So there's so much that can be said about all of them. Then we come across so many different characters. One of them is somebody called Shabri Ma. She had tremendous faith in Ram for a long, long time, possibly before even he was born. She had a sense that she's going to meet Ram. So she did great penance in an ashram and her Guruji was very happy with her penance and said, 'You can be enlightened and you can leave this realm as an enlightened one.' But she said, 'No, my life is not fulfilled, my heart is not fulfilled till I get the darshan of Ram.' So Guruji told her, 'You build a hut over there on this side of the forest next to this lake, and then you set the table for him, so to speak, every day, and then one day he may come.'

So this lady for thirty, forty, fifty years—I don't know how many years—every day would pick out the best tasting fruits in the forest and lay the path for Ram to come to her hut. And what she would do is that she didn't—she wanted to feed him only the best fruit. So in her innocence, she would take a bite of the ber, the fruit, and make sure that that is the sweet one. So before she offered it to Ram, they were the best ones. And she did this every day for decades and decades. So we don't even have to get to Hanuman to learn devotion, to just even look at Shabri. That's why I was saying the other day that in comparison to Shabri, I am the most lukewarm. What is my devotion? It's terrible. The slightest thing, I may forget him so many times in a day. I may forget him.

The child said, 'Father, I'm a lukewarm.' So I really feel like David said in one of the Psalms that he's like a worm, not worthy of being called. These things may sound drastic actually, but actually when we realize how it is possible to live versus how caught up we can get in the world and its Maya, and we have the best excuses to be how we are. At least if I was to look at the life of this one, it is extremely lukewarm in his bhakti towards God. Here is one lady who in her faith knew one day he will come, and cleaned up everything around her, went picking fruit every day, setting the flowers for him to come along the path almost an entire lifetime. And how quick are we to get frustrated? You say that, 'Oh, I've been praying for a week but nothing has happened. Even the sweetness is gone for a week. Oh, I prayed today but I'm very upset with him because he didn't show me his presence.' We are very quick to throw tantrums even with God.

So let us learn from the life of Shabri what devotion means, what faith means. Because like Jesus said, he has no use for those who are lukewarm, neither here nor there. The important question to contemplate also is whether God wants this, whether God needs us to be this way, or whether it is the best, the highest gift we can give to ourselves. Because we may have this idea that we are doing this for God. 'I pray every day for God, but he's not coming.' Can I say that we must keep setting the table for him every day, but for him to come or not is up to his grace? It can sound almost oppressive, but what kind of life do you feel that Shabri lived? Was it an oppressed life? It sounds like the most beautiful life. Imagine living with that kind of faith that the world may burn, anything may happen, I have been offered mukti but I'm waiting for his presence, for him to appear. And what do you feel that God would not do for such a bhakta?

Even the smallest things—if you really notice, our devotion is minuscule, and yet every day he's showering us with so many gifts. But for a devotee like Shabri, there's nothing that God will not do. So anyway, when he came, she was obviously overjoyed and full of devotion. So excitedly she took the bers that she had collected, the fruits, and she started offering them to Ram. So Lakshman was very protective about his brother. He said, 'You have guests that have come to your house, the weird guest like Ram come to your house, and you're going to give them half-eaten fruit?' So if you know—some of you know, most of you know Lakshman—he's always ready to take a stand, especially when it comes to Ram. So he got a bit offended that, 'What is this woman doing?'

So Ram says, 'You know, a mother, to check whether something is too hard or it has the right amount of salt or sugar, will taste before giving the child. So this tribal lady, beautiful devotee, has done the same. So I feel like she is just like Kaushalya, my birth mother.' So he lovingly accepts the fruit from her hands and then he says to her that, 'I've been away from my mothers for so long, but seeing you I'm reminded so much of her. Can I just rest for a bit in your lap? Keep my head on your lap and rest for a bit.' So the Lord of the universe got comfort in the lap of the devotee and gave her the honor of being called his mother. Do we—this is highly improbable that in this life I will get to even one percent of that kind of devotion and faith. But I commit to all of you that I'm going to try till my dying breath. Because if I am the teacher, if you call me Father, then it is for me to set the example. It is incumbent on me to set the example for all of you, but I'm very happy to be inspired by all of you as well.

How does this apply to our life? I hope you can meet the application aspect of it, otherwise it can just sound like a nice fairy tale. 'Oh, there were these amazing people, all this happened, I wish I was born in those times.' All this can happen, but that is not why the sages have shared this history with us. They shared it because they've shown us all these beautiful ones in the history to show us how it is possible to live. Here is one who has given up even mukti to wait for God. Or do we give up God? For most of our lives, God is the last priority. We may not believe that, yeah, but suppose you have ten meetings in a day, you say, 'No, no, no, today I have some important work, I can't pray to God all day, I have important work.' Whether it is about relationship, whether it is...

His history with us, they shared it because they've shown us all these beautiful ones in the history to show us how it is possible to live here. Is one who has given up even more to wait for God, or do we give up for God? For most of our lives, God is the last priority. We may not believe that, yeah, but suppose you have ten meetings in a day. You say, 'No, no, no, today I have some important work. I can't pray to God all day. I have important work.' Whether it is about relationship, whether it is about money, whether it is about health of the body, all that is important work, and God's work is the least important work. And little bit of God's work we do, we want to tell everyone, 'See,' either obviously or subtly, 'See, see, see how much I pray. See, see, see,' because we still take the world to be more real than His light.

So, Ram is what? Ram is another name for the light of the Atma within. It literally means that. So we are willing to discard Ram at the flimsiest of pretexts. I'm saying we, all of us, including this one. In pretexts, somebody come and say something, 'Oh, I'm so angry, I'm so irritated. How could she say that? How could he do that?' Where is Ram? Forgotten. We see some opportunity to make some money. That's important. This meeting, you see, it's a huge opportunity. Where is Ram? Forgotten. We get the slightest headache, appendicitis, slightest thing happens to the body—where is Ram? So can we not make everyday Ram Navami in our life where He is not forgotten? At least the intention is to never forget.

Remember that I heard this beautiful satsang where Hanuman Ji said even if He's in your memory, He's with you. Is He? So let's endeavor to commit today on Ram Navami that till next Ram Navami, we don't forget Ram. And who is the best example of this? Hanuman Ji. Here's one who prayed to meet Him all his life, and then after meeting Him, his servitude was so deep, his faith, his devotion was so deep that Ram told him, 'Jump over this ocean.' He jumped over it. Yes, Jai Shri Ram. Faith. He said, 'Get me this medicinal herb from this mountain in the north of India.' He just went, and because he couldn't see which herb was which, he said, 'What should I do?' Then he picked up the whole mountain and got it for Him.

And because these things seem so far-fetched in our so-called practical life today, we have conveniently called it mythology. Just because our rationality cannot handle it, we are quick to dismiss it. But have we tried emulating the devotion of Hanuman and then tell me that you cannot do those miracles? So we come to this skeptical sort of existence where we demand proof from God before we commit, and that approach is never going to work because this needs faith, you see. And faith doesn't demand evidence; it just requires the heart to call.

Hanuman G was one day, after all of this was over, they went back to Ayodhya and Sita Ma was very happy with him. So she said, 'Here's my invaluable necklace as a gift of appreciation for you.' It's like we imagine like a pearl necklace, we don't know, but so Hanuman is looking at it. It's like, 'What can I do with this? Of what value is this for me?' And what does that necklace represent? Anything in the world you could have given him, gifted him the entire universe then, and he would have looked at it and said, 'Where's my Ram in this?' So he just started tasting it, just everything broke apart. And even Sita Ma was a bit upset to see what he did with her gift. And because he felt obviously bad that he hurt Sita Ma in this way, so he said, 'I promise to you, Mother, that in my heart only you and Ram live.' And then he actually opened up his heart and showed that in his heart.

And this history we can meet at so many different levels, isn't it? Till that where doesn't come, till we are still looking for pearls in the world, we truly do not create a temple of God in our heart. But I want to tell you that God living in your heart is the most literal thing. A spiritual heart is more intimate to you than your physical heart. And God, Ram, the light of the Atma within, the light of the Holy Spirit within, that is His home. But till we are still attached to the world, or at least we are still hedging our bets halfway like this, halfway like that, this will only seem like mythology to you—even this fact that God lives in your heart.

So when you look at all of these characters—Bharat, Lakshman, Shabri, Sita, Hanuman—all of them, they found Ram in their hearts by giving up on the 'me,' on themselves, and keeping the focus only on God. How many of us will do that? Or how many of us even want to do that? That is the question. How much of our time is devoted to what's outside versus what's inside? And by time, I mean focus. What is our focus? What is our intention?

And just like this, there are so many characters in this history. What are they? Of course, Kaushalya there, Janaka there, who else? Shatrughna, there's Vibhishan, there's Sugriva, so many, many characters which are just pointing to this. Okay, so who is the antagonist in all of this? The antagonist in all of this is spiritual pride: Raavan. So was Raavan just some stupid uneducated type? No. In fact, he was so educated that Ram Ji himself said that Lakshman must take upadesh from Raavan before Raavan died. That was the level of spiritual education that Raavan had.

So then if he was that educated, and he was the greatest, possibly the greatest disciple of Shiva that ever existed—he is known to have prayed to Shiva with great penance for thousands of years—so what went wrong? No, he pride. Pride, arrogance, and a very clear and blatant misuse of Advaita, isn't it? He said, 'Why should I bow down to Ram?' Although he may be, he said, although he may be an incarnation of Vishnu himself, Hari himself, 'Why should I bow down to him? Because I am That.' See? Yes, you are That, but when it is applied to not our reality but to the 'me' that still remains, then it causes all of this trouble.

And all of us can spot this Raavan within us. All of us can spot this Raavan within us when we know, when we say that we know better. 'We know better. I will set the curriculum for myself.' We refuse to follow the guidance in our heart because we think we can do it in our heads. So that is Raavan. So don't think of him just as a character in the story; meet Raavan in yourself, just like it is important to meet Ram in yourself. Then you realize that at the deepest level of this history, it is about ourselves. God, God's light is within you as Ram, but the ability to lose yourself to pride is also within you as Raavan.

Can you spot the Raavan? I can definitely spot the Raavan within myself. And if you can't spot it, you see, the one that says there is no Raavan, that is it. The one who is very conclusive, knows a lot of spirituality now, or just knows, knows a lot of things. A know-it-all, you see. Within all of us is a know-it-all. Be careful of that one, because our innocence is taken away. Why would Raavan never, never act like Shabri? Here is one who is saying, 'Yes, he may be, Ram may be an incarnation of Vishnu.' Even that insight was there. 'But am I also not That?' Yes, we are also That, but not the one that we think we are. If the one that we think we are starts to think we are That, then we are in trouble.

So are you, are we living in God's light, His presence, in the presence of His holiness, His love, His peace, His joy? Or is our inner environment stinking with our pride, anger, lust, and attachment? So we all like it, I feel, I feel we like it when I say that in your heart is a temple of God. But if this is true, are we keeping, how are we keeping the inner environment? I was saying that day that if you were to literally construct a temple to Ram, then how many posters of yourself would you put there? How many would you put? Zero. Zero is the right answer, if anyone is confused.

So but what, what are we doing in our inner space? We are obsessing about me, me, me, me, me. Even when it comes to God, it is 'God for me.' So then our inner heart altar, the sanctum sanctorum within ourselves, is for me or is for God? And most of the time—because I say most of the time because God can do anything, of course—most of the time the loving Father called God will not get in our way. 'Okay, you want to construct a temple for yourself? Do it.' But history also shows us, Raavan also shows us, that that doesn't work out well. And we may be the most educated, the one who's done the most penance, we may understand everything and we may be the ruler of the universe, but this Maya is always going to be ephemeral and the only salvation is in God.

So this Ram Navami, I want to plead with all of you: let go of selfishness, let go of pride, let go of resentment, anger, attachment, and bring your focus to His holy flame in your heart. Bring your focus, bring everything in service to that light of Ram in your heart. How many say the project is too much, 'I'm quitting'? You may not raise your hand now, but you may be thinking that it's too much, 'I'm quitting.' So I have some bad news for you, which is actually good news. What is the bad news? The bad news is you have no option to, and there is nowhere to run from this. As long as you're in Maya, you're going to be in the ephemeral. The sooner you accept that the only salvation is to commit to God, the better it is for yourself.

And if you feel somewhere that you really have no interest in this project, you see, then you can come back to satsang in a few years. You don't have to be here, because this is what the agenda is in satsang. The agenda is really to expand, expand on the discipleship of the Atma within by plucking out disciples of the, of Maya and bringing them to the Atma. So this Ananta just has this provisional role to bring you from a different queue to a different queue. That is my job. And of course, I do a terrible job at it, but whatever. So that is it.

But if you feel that no, you want to win in the world, you think that all this talk of handing over completely to God is going too far, it's too radical, 'Can't we just mix it up a bit, do some self-help stuff half the time and do talk about God the other half?' then I don't see it happening, at least here. But if you are willing to commit to this project—and I know it is difficult, at one level it is the easiest, but at one level it is the most difficult thing we will do—but I promise you, if you commit to this project, I will stand by you till the end of time and we will meet this together.

But if your intentions are different, if you don't really want to commit yourself to God, then I will not be able to help you at all. We will always be working in different directions. You will say, 'Where is my peace? Where is my bliss?' and I will say, 'Where is God? Where is God?' because we will not always be peaceful as we do this operation. Resistance will come, anger will come, tantrum, frustration. The Maya in the world will pull us back, you see. She will offer you the best relationship suddenly, suddenly out of nowhere. Through all your life you were looking for the best relationship, you come to satsang, and the day you become open to it, suddenly your perfect partner shows up, the perfect business shows up, the perfect way to improve your life, travel overseas, do something shows up. And we've seen this so often, that Maya itself will play in this way to try and hold you back.

But if you're willing to commit that for you it is God, God, God, it is God first, then I'm with you. Whatever that is worth, I don't know what that is worth. So satsang is really the journey from Raavan to Ram. We may not realize that our default mode of existence in the world is Raavan mode. But when it is said that satsang is to come from head to heart, it is the same as saying from Raavan to Ram. The question is really of faith, because if you truly took this to be true, that it is God's presence in your heart, it is truly Ram in your heart, then you would bet your life on it. There's nobody who wouldn't, you see. But because Maya is a Mohini, the greatest con artist, she convinces you that, 'No, no, actually what is on the outside, at least for now, is more important.' And in this now, now, now, now, now, our whole life goes. Today this, tomorrow that, day after something.

The same as saying from Ram to Rah. The question is really of faith because if you truly took this to be true—that it is God's presence in your heart, it is truly Ram in your heart—then you would bet your life on it. There's nobody who wouldn't, you see? But because Maya is a Mohini, the greatest con artist, she convinces you that, 'No, no, actually what is on the outside, at least for now, is more important.' And in this 'now, now, now, now,' our whole life goes. Today this, tomorrow that, day after something else; soon it is over. And it has nothing to do with age because everybody feels like they have a lot of time, even though they may say something else. 'There is time for God; today is for more important things.' That is the usual approach, but actually it is the other way around. And the sages have gone on reassuring us that you focus on God, then you see how God runs your life. But we don't have faith. This is the best possible solution. What better solution could there be than God running your life, you see?

And don't get into that trap of conceptually saying, 'Yes, yes, but He is already running my life.' Is He? You have to see how you are moment to moment. Don't be raven about it. Just because you know it here doesn't mean that you are living like that. So if you cannot hand over this moment to God's will in your heart, then your mind has you for this moment. Therefore, Maya has you for this moment, and Maya is going to take all of your time. So this Mahabharat, to mix the history, is about time. And it is not too late, but it will be tomorrow. So it's time to wake up, snap out of it. This is the time. So let's resolve this Ram Navami that we will devote our life to Ram. And Ram has blessed us with His light in our heart, in the most intimate temple. We may this year make a visit, of course, to the Ram temple as well, but even more important than that is this highest temple is in your heart. But we must bow down and enter the temple of Atma. If you are full of pride, we will not see the gate. Bow down into your heart. Don't be proud. Be faithful, be devoted, be loving, kind, compassionate. Don't be full of anger.

Don't say, 'This one makes me angry, I can't help it, he makes me angry.' Anger may come, but you have the full power to allow it to go. To take the mind's narrative in the angry state is completely up to you. I am also working on this because I noticed that with family especially, I just... maybe I don't often get angry-angry, but I often get irritated. So I'll just be like, you know, like that. So I'm noticing this and I'm working on it because in that moment I have forgotten Ram. It's of course I feel it happen less, but it still happens. So I still have to work on that. So I promise you that by next Ram Navami, this will go down 90% if not 100%. So like this, we don't have to hide. We don't have to worry about some self-image. We don't have to worry about these things because the only eyes that are important are God's. Yeah, I've been saying often that you may fool the entire world, you may present the most angelic view to the world, but if in your heart you have malice, then God knows. So don't get into any of this dichotomy. We can't handle these many variables. You share with your brothers and sisters, with your family, with your Sangha, whatever is true. Don't hide and say... oh, if you're going to exaggerate, exaggerate on the other side because the slightest thing you have to... you set yourself up to that, you have to live up to that conceptually.

So it may come in the most harmless-seeming ways. So some of you may say, for example, 'Oh, um, how is it going in the EDS for you? Are you getting to Bhakti?' 'Oh good, good, good, but for me, I'm so used to... not in this term, but I'm just like, I close my eyes and get into... can't help it, what to do, just blessed by grace.' So just be careful of this kind of seemingly harmless exaggeration. But who are you fooling? Only yourself.

So there's this one relationship that really triggers... like the one relationship that triggers this. I don't know how, what to do with this, Father. Like, so I prayed, but I feel the whole system when I'm praying also for them in the EDS. And I told Samyak, 'I don't want to talk about this with you right now because I will only come from there.' And I've told him I don't want to talk today because there is a fear that as soon as we have this conversation or he wants to talk about it, I will only come from 'I was wronged.' Yes. And so when I'm sitting here, I want to say sorry to him, and I'm feeling like I've said sorry to him so many times about the whole in-law thing, and I still am not able to get over it. And I tell him, 'I don't know if I can ever get over it.' And I tell God, 'I don't know,' because when I pray to Him and I tell Him I want to get over it, I don't know if that is also true, you know? And I tell Him, 'If it's not true, You make it true,' because I'm not able to get out of this. In every layer of my being, I feel that hurt and the pain and the anger and the resentment towards them. Even though... and with Samyak, like, there's a hurt that he doesn't feel it's big enough to make it big enough. So this whole loop, I feel in a way I feel stuck, Father. It keeps coming.

I can only pray. Can only pray. And whatever the mind may throw at you, resolve. Because you can only resolve in that moment. How? Resolve to not forget God. Yeah.

So then when I'm praying, but everything is being experienced, is that a resolution that I don't want to forget God? So I'm feeling the whole thing. The emotional layer is shaking like this. Every layer is shaking. The images... as soon as the image comes, sensations in the system, memory may be also showing you images from the past. All of that. But can you remember God at least in one layer of your existence?

Yeah, that's good. That's it, you see? So sometimes to hang on by a thread is all that we can do. The thread of God. Now this doesn't mean that we only always hang on by that thread. So this is not the reverse. No, that is the only strength I have. That there's never a time—not that I'm doing it perfectly or anything, I'm completely with you in this, in growing in this—but I have not noticed that there's ever been a time where at least the thread has not been available to hold on to God. Isn't it? There's always the possibility. But I choose to leave it. I choose to leave it because we say, 'Oh, this was too much.' It is too much.

So that's where I want to clarify. So this... so the images, the feelings, the thoughts also, like, I actually hear myself say, 'I hate them, Father.' I tell, like, 'I hate them, Father,' you know? But I'm praying. Like, at least in with... I'm praying. I don't know what kind of prayer I'm doing, but I'm doing it. It was tough in the beginning. Through the day it became... from in-laws I said 'Ma, Baba.' It was tough, you know, because I don't want to say 'Ma, Baba.' I don't... like, there's so much hatred in my system. Yeah. So I'm just... I'm tired of this, Father.

No, it's good because it doesn't... a lot of clean-up is going to happen in the process. That's why I said it's not going to be easy. It's going to be difficult because, like I said, the clean-up work of the temple has to happen. And age-old resentment, age-old things we held on to, all these are going to come up. So if you say, 'Ah, yes, yes, yes, the mind is saying I hate them, but we are saying but Ram...' You see? 'I don't know if I can ever forgive them, but Ram.' You see? We are holding on to God. See? And know that it can be Ram, Krishna, Jesus, Allah, whatever, but God. Then, because remember my childhood, I said... and it's... I still don't have the full words for it, but remember that God knows everything. Yeah? He knows your intention is to be with Him, and yet Maya is grabbing. So I also pray to Him and say, 'I want You to completely own this life, and sometimes when it seems like I leave You, it is because Your Maya is strong.' It's His Maya only. So, 'Your Maya is strong, she gets me, but I want to be with You. So please don't feel that you're ever getting my way. Your way is the only way for me.' And if that is true for you, then He knows. So we don't have to ever lose hope because it is our intention which is important. Yeah? How well we are succeeding in the method is not so important.

So I told him that I know that in my capacity this is not possible. I can't unfold this at all. But I know that in His, if He wills, everything is possible.

So just move like that. This keeps coming up in every topic because Samyak is also... it's not just one thing, you know? He's also involved and it gets very tough. But we have to also admit that none of us have it tougher than Ram or Jesus did. Yeah? Yes, this is nothing in front of that. Nothing in front of that. So they've shown us that in the midst of all of this also... imagine your most beloved mother saying, 'You go to the forest because I want my other son to be king.' So, and to meet that like Ram did, it's something else. So that's why the Christians use the term 'The Imitation of Christ,' you see? And sometimes in India we get confused, like imitation can't be good, but actually they are saying emulation of, you see? They set the example for us to emulate.

When you said today, 'Bharat, you talk,' and then you said you have to pay respect to the elders, and I look back and I'm so scared that I have wronged them, which I have also. But I don't want to... there's that... that is the fear here. I don't want to, even though I know if I don't let this one go, I'm just going to be in... God, you know? Like, I don't want to be the one that is solely seen as wrong, you know? So, so just keep praying.

By both parties, by the husband and by the... like it's just like a... but I... you have to take care of this, Father. I prayed, I prayed, but it doesn't go fully. Yeah, but as long as... Shabri... no, no, no, I'm not frustrated in that sense, but I'm... because I cause hurt every time because it's his parents, you know? But He knows everything. Yeah, in our prayer, know that before we pray, when we are in the mind, when we are in the heart, He's always here. So He knows everything. Start to value that presence, which I know all of us are trying, as more than what we would value if Ram was sitting in front of us today. Value His presence in the heart more. Don't value the appearances in Maya.

So now Ram is with you, so He knows. So it's very reassuring for those who are trying to go deeper in their heart, you see? And it's a bit scary for those who want to just mess around a bit more, that He's always... because to those enjoying Maya with too much right now, the presence—the fact that God knows and is watching everything—can seem a bit intimidating. But for those who want to turn towards Him truly, it is the biggest reassurance. So trust that He knows. Trust that He knows your intention is to let go of all resentment, let go of all the problematic areas of these relationships. Isn't that very free? That's why I feel like I need to find better words for what I'm communicating. The fact that He knows everything is a great freedom, not an oppression. Like, we never have to worry about, 'How do I make this clear to Him?' He knows before you can decide to make anything clear to Him. 'How do I tell Him that I want to come to the end of this conflict in my life?' He knows. But 'He knows' means also that you can't fool Him. You can't say, 'Oh, I really want to be only for God,' and actually you're attached to something in the world. And that also He knows. So better to just... like Maharaj used to constantly say, integrity is really good.

Sometimes I notice that—and nothing to do with you or this report—but I noticed because some of you are still young and early in this journey, you feel that just conveying the right stuff in the world sorts it. 'If at least my brothers and sisters have this impression of me, then that is fine.' But that has nothing to do with reality because He knows. If people think that you are so sweet and loving and the best, but actually inside you're... worry only about... not even worry, but just be full of integrity about what is true. Because in the dream, what you show ever...

Because some of you are still young and early in this journey, you feel that just conveying the right stuff in the world sorts it. If at least my brothers and sisters have this impression of me, then that is fine, but that has nothing to do with reality. Because he knows if people think that you are so sweet and loving and the best, but actually inside your worry—only about not even worry, but just be full of integrity about what is true. Because in the dream, what you show everyone, all is going to go. You're going to be face to face with God alone.

Now I'm just trying to see what is exactly like being. Then would it be then selfish if you don't want to be in the darkness, in the confusion? Or you just accepted then? How?

So, to forget God is to be selfish. So many times you may feel that, 'Oh, I never want to forget God.' For example—not that you're saying that—but suppose, 'I never want to forget God, I never want to forget God, I just never want to forget God.' But actually, in that process, you are only concerned about 'I,' not God. Then you have forgotten God already, you see? So, 'I never want to get in the darkness, I never want to get in the darkness, I never want to be in the darkness.' If you're already in the darkness saying that, then that doesn't help. If you are swimming with all our might towards the light and then saying, 'I don't want to be caught in my...' sometimes the darkness itself tempts us with the not wanting to be in darkness. You see what I'm saying? So we have to be careful of mental positions, because mental position this way or that way is troublesome.

What stops us from being in the light? What is the distance? What is the time it takes to come back to the light? We can't predict, of course. It all depends on His grace. But for us to drop, drop, drop... I feel what gets to a lot of us is the patience needed and the courage needed in the process. Because sometimes we just snap out of our head into our heart, and sometimes the sheer emptiness without the reassuring presence can seem too scary for the mind. It starts to avoid that.

In the morning, if you do the advice that I've given you, which is to do not start your day without coming to God's presence, does it take the same amount of time every day? And we asked this question, everybody said no. I should have asked it differently, but it doesn't. Even here, it doesn't, in the sense that sometimes it's just quick and sometimes... so here what I feel is not to open my eyes only until God's presence is apparent. Sometimes just darkness is there, and sometimes His eyes are closed and it shouldn't matter how much time has lapsed. But this should become a truly strong commitment to us, not dependent on, 'Oh, but today I have important things to do.' Nothing is more important than this. Don't start the day without God. And if you end up staying the whole day in bed, then do it, because to live without Him is to live in hell.

Ravan was a king. He had all the power, all the wealth, everything he needed, but was he in heaven or hell? So you don't have to travel somewhere to have your existence be hellish or heavenly. It is based on whether we are in His presence or not. And don't ever fall for the trap that, 'I need to fix it here first and then I fix it all here and here, you know, then one day I will have enough time so I can just be here.' These are just primitive tricks of the mind, and most of you should have seen through these by now. The mind says, 'No, no, you fix this first; without that you can't be with God,' or 'You fix this situation in your head, resolve what you're going to do, because without that you can't be with God.' So these are just the mind's time-wasting tactics.

Some of you may have determined to yourself that it's not possible for you right now. Eventually you want to follow what you're hearing in satsang, but right now your life is too busy, you've got too many things going on. That's really nonsense. I mean, there's garbage and there's great garbage. So this is just falling for the silliest, most primitive mind trick. 'Right now I'm too busy.' With what? Making a nice home in hell for yourself? What are we busy with? Because I'm not saying leave your job, leave your family, leave anything. I'm saying just stay with His presence no matter what else is happening on the outside. Prioritize that work first and every other work later.

I was telling the other day that, you know, my mother used to say, 'Sau sonar ki, ek lohar ki.' What does that mean? That a goldsmith gives a hundred taps with his tools, but a blacksmith just needs one whack and it's done. So what does that mean? That once you have this Blacksmith on your side, then you don't have to even plot about in the world—this, this, this, this. Things have to happen by His grace; they just happen like that. But do you have faith in that? And I've seen that so many times. You try a hundred thousand different things, but once you just leave it to God, He resolves it one way or the other.

But it's just as I feel like most of us also realize this intuitively if you've been spiritual for some time, but it's a stubborn resistance to just let go. And what is that important work we're doing, huh? All the Rockefellers of the world have also come and gone; nobody missed them not doing something that important. It's then like to go through every fear, every fear. It's like just to go through every fear, whatever He brings to you in His life.

So first is His life, then it's His problem. Then you don't have to post-mortem and say, 'Okay, so then what will happen? Then will this come? Will this come?' Usually, I can say usually, in the clean-up of the temple, everything that has been festering, held on to, gets cleaned up. Because we say, 'But by God's grace and only by Him,' but sometimes—I mean, quite often—this is used as an excuse.

Yes, exactly, which is very exactly often here. But then also I've seen that if I do wrong, it's not by God's grace. I need to fix it. It's not just... but it's still sounding like there's still effort. What is the way to fix it?

To stay with God. Yes, you see? So don't get into the trap of, 'I did things wrong in my mental level or my emotional level or the physical level; I need to first fix it over there and then return to God, because otherwise how will I show Him my face?' Or you know, like the prodigal son just feeling like, 'But God won't accept me because I've done wrong.' No, just return. Yes, return and then trust. Then know that once a child has offered themselves truly to Him, nothing that has happened in this measly world can get in the way of you being with Him. There's nothing in this Maya that can stop you from being in His light. All this is not important at all. What is important is to live now, from this moment on, in His light and allow Him, His will, to move through you and to guide you.