No Matter What the Content of the Experience May Be, You, Have To Be, First - 23rd July 2021

Nine months. Oh, wow. Say hello. Thank you.

So happy birthday. I've been watching and I've been wanting to come, but yet it's clear. What you speak about is... is clear. So I don't know if I have a question, really.

So you feel like the recognition of that which is unperceivable is apparent, is clear? Don't worry about sounding arrogant. You cannot sound arrogant. It is very clear.

Yes, very, very clear.

I'm very happy to hear the baby as well carrying me. If you feel to come up a little later, you... you're welcome to put up your hand again and again. Okay?

Okay. Thank you very, very much. Thank you.

This is fun. Okay, let's see.

Thank you for calling me. I... I was just wishing in my heart. Thank you so much.

Oh, welcome. So welcome. How is it... how is it going for you?

Um, like attending your satsangs have transformed my life. Um, like all started with, um, back in 2015, uh, when I first met Guruji. Yeah. Like, and seeing him instantly, like... like there was... it is so clear. How can a person be like him? Like, his God is radiating the presence that was coming out of him. Like, it was just so obvious. Yeah. And... and after that, should I go on to narrate my story or... or is it okay?

It's... no, no, go on, go on. It's good. Yeah.

Uh, and after that, uh, uh, I attended, uh, in Delhi for some time before he left for Monte Sahaja. Yeah, yeah. And since then a lot of things have happened and I see that though my, uh, worldly life is also in support of my freedom. Earlier I used to think that the... the spiritual life is separate. You have to work, uh, uh, and where your work is separate, your life is separate and the stories are different. But now I see that everything is in support of that. Yeah. And... and, uh, I was so, uh, strongly attached to the idea that, uh, like I was not open to the now, like the invitation or something, that it can happen in the instant or in the now. Yeah. So... so I always used to think that no, it... it is not impossible, but since the last year it... it has... uh, I have become open to this idea and... and I... I think that it can happen. I... I even translated, done some translations of Mooji's satsangs in Hindi and, ah, yeah, two... two full satsangs I translated and they really felt that it's also a good practice to do the translations. Yeah, yeah. And... and he says that even for one instant you can't free your mind, even if you free your mind for an instant, you will be free. Yeah, yeah. This is a few... earlier I would have not accepted this idea, but yeah, no, I have... I agree that yes, yes. Yeah. Uh, that... I am currently in South Korea, uh, not in India. Yeah. And the reason I am in South Korea because I chose satsangs, uh, because I was not... I was not getting enough time to even watch the recorded satsangs or something because, uh, earlier I thought that I would go and try and get some government job where I would have time to do all these things, but I found that those expectations were not met. So... so, uh, so I had an option then. So I, uh, uh, keeping aside all other considerations, I chose that no, I will... if... if anything in the world is stopping you from having satsangs even once in a week, that... that thing is not in my service. So I chose satsangs and... and now I have almost a year and of... like I'm in total contemplation more because I am in a university and also the classes are online. So my disturbance, everything is in... isn't good, good support.

Very good, very good. I'm so happy, so happy to hear from you. Very much thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. We can contemplate something that Sumit said. So he said that nothing in the world is actually in opposition to my freedom, to my truth. And actually it's impossible for anything in the world to be in opposition to your true truths. You may have an idea of your spirituality or your truth, but your experience of God, the truth of your being, it cannot be taken away by anything that may appear. And this we can try. No matter what the content of the experience may be, you have to be first. And that being itself is consciousness. So it is the substratum itself on which all these experiences come and go. It is God itself in which everything happens. So anything may happen in the world, but nothing can take you away from yourself or your being. The Absolute, which is aware even of being, for that the question of taking away or coming closer doesn't apply at all. But even for being itself, how to lose it? What can show up in this manifest play that can take us away from our being? Nothing. And therefore actually then the notion of support or not support or in service or out of service doesn't really apply because there's nothing that can not be in service to it. If nothing can appear in the field of consciousness which can take consciousness away from itself, then in a positive way we can say everything is in service to... to this discovery. If that is the true longing that consciousness has, if that is the true will of consciousness, then everything that appears it can use for its own introspection and contemplation. But if it is playing and if it wants to play with the Leela more, then it could be the most contemplative cave with nothing to fool around with and yet it will find a way, you see. So it's never in the content of the experience itself. Life is always in service in that way.

And that is why we can say thank you to everything that appears. If it is not truly in service, then we would not say thank you to everything that appears. So try to push away your being. Like don't be. Don't have the experience of consciousness, God, consciousness, being, whatever you call it. Who can do it? Are you not being now? Who is not being? That being belongs to whom? The being that is here, who's the owner of it? Is it not the same unlimited one? Is it not the same omnipresent one that we have been searching for? So hug your own being—and you don't have to physically do anything, I'm just gesturing—hug your own being and see that nothing can appear to shake this or take this away from you. So this is the being's embrace to itself. What can come now to shake this away? Who can take God away from God? Does anything have to change in the content of our experience?

And if any of you are relatively new or you're trying to grasp at this being, don't grasp at all. Try to not be. Do the reverse. Don't be for a moment. See if you can do it. There's no holding, grasping needed. Just naturally, more intimate than your breath, you are. The recognition of God, the recognition of beingness is so simple. It's that simple that cannot be done, you see, because the minute you try to do it, it seems to escape. Just... just letting go makes it so clear. But what you cannot do is try to fit this God into a box that you create, into a projection that you may have about it. It will not conform to your projections, neither will it dance to your projection. What I mean is if you have an idea about what it should be, it will be nothing like that because you cannot have an idea about this now. If you have an idea also about what it must do for you, how it must help you, all of that, you can forget about it. Just being for the sake of being. It doesn't matter whether your relationship is going well or not, God is with you. God is you, in a way. It doesn't matter how much money you have in the bank or whether you have a roof over your head or no, because God is with you. Doesn't matter whether this body is healthy and strong or diseased and depleting, God is with you. And even the idea of finding freedom or not, becoming self-realized or not, doesn't matter because God is with you. It is not the most powerful force in the universe; it is beyond the universe itself. Even the universe is nothing but a plaything for your being. That is your magnificence.

So the miracle is not really the discovering of this because that is so simple. The true miracle is how we confuse ourselves with that which we are not. That is why it is Maya, the great magic. This being which is ever present, some of us have spent years and maybe lifetimes searching for it. Isn't it strange? That which is always here—in fact, 'here' is built on top of this—that we have searched for. That which we can never be, that we have posed as, and wearing that mask of the impossible, we have tried to find that which always is. But all that was needed was to let go of this mask, the impossible limitation of the ego. This being, what does it need? What is missing? What effort are you making to be? Are you trying to be? In fact, it is the trying to be which is the ego, because it's trying to be something. What is holding up the sky? More natural than that is to be. And if you are truly spiritual as we all claim to be, then this is what you're looking for. But if you're looking for something else, then it is as materialistic as any other design. If you're looking for some fireworks, some benefits, some halo, then it's worldly because the world is all phenomenal. All that we can refer to as God in our mind is just an aspect of this being itself. All the forms of God that we may worship are the very aspects of your very being.

So invite anything that can shake this now. Don't run away from anything. See if you can be shaken. See if to be ever becomes effortful now. All you have to do is not fit God into your image. Don't try to make a mold in which God has to fix. Don't try to have an idea to which God has to conform. Don't even label your experience. Don't understand. Remain in this simplicity. Don't give my next question to the mind, but gently recognize that you are aware of even this being. Effortlessly, motionlessly, without any quality or attribute, you remain independent of all phenomena, all appearances. That Brahman, that Absolute, is this simple awareness. So that place which is not a place is where being takes birth. It is you who witnesses even this. You are aware that you exist, that you are. So let go of all worldly concerns. Be in your immaculate beingness. Let go of all worries about time and space. Let go of all narratives. Which past can you have? Which future can you go to? Every past is only you. Every future is all you. You have no story. You have no births, no deaths. So there's nothing that you have done or not done. All appears only within you. All disappears also only within you. So okay, thank you so much for instigating that. That was not the plan, but okay. Thank you, thank you so much. Okay, some hands are up. Let's see. I haven't heard from Oliver or Oliveira.

Hello, Father.

Hello, my dear. Namaste.

Thank you for calling me. Um, it's difficult to speak now after... after what you've been sharing now. It was so deep. There's a question for... for some time now that's bothering me. Um, since I'm watching satsangs for... for years now, there's tendency to... um, if... if something comes, if... if there's a situation, for example, um, I have troubles with my father or something and... and there's this natural response... um, I get nervous, I... I get agitated. And then it happens in... in all situations now and then immediately what comes is, okay, um, I... I apply spiritual solutions to the situations. And then I... I have the feeling and it's such a conflict between what I naturally feel, what naturally comes up, and between what I've learned from satsang.

For years now, there's a tendency to—if something comes, if there's a situation, for example, I have troubles with my father or something, and there's this natural response. I get nervous, I get agitated, and then it happens in all situations now and then. Immediately what comes is, 'Okay, I apply spiritual solutions to the situations.' And then I have the feeling—and it's such a conflict between what I naturally feel, what naturally comes up, and between what I've learned from satsangs. There's a feeling that it's so burdensome, such a conflict all the time. And there's a feeling that I can go with either of the two positions: I can follow either my natural feeling about someone or something, or I can apply spiritual knowledge and go away.

A few things about this. I can speak a few things about this because I meet many in this kind of situation, you know? Spiritual seekers who have learned so much spirituality being in satsang, then try to apply spiritual knowledge to make their life better. So let me try to shine some light on this thing and why it doesn't seem to work a lot of times. And even if it does work, it seems to work only temporarily or provisionally, and then the whole cycle seems to repeat itself.

Yes, I'm going to start with something that you say. You used a phrase called 'spiritual solution.' So let's really look at that. Like, the spiritual solution has to be the response to the spiritual problem, isn't it? So there is only one spiritual problem, you see, and that problem is a misidentification. Or we can call it the Leela where that which we really are—because of the play or because of Maya, whatever we want to say—takes itself to be something that it is not. That which is unlimited, that which is so beyond time and space, takes itself to be an objective, limited body-mind with birth and death, all of these attributes. So that is the singular spiritual problem, and all confusion, all suffering, is only a result of this problem.

Now, what happened is that this idea that we have about ourselves, you see, then takes on ideas of spirituality and tries to make this idea better by being spiritual. So when usually we are looking at spiritual solutions, we are looking for a solution for the one which is not really true as a solution for that person. But that person is what spirituality is solving; that is the only thing it is solving, okay? When we try to find a spiritual way to make our life better, you see, then we are in one way or the other just reinforcing to ourselves that 'I am this limited body-mind who has this linear narrative of life,' you see? And 'these things are not as they should be' or 'these things are as they should be,' but all from the lens of an individual entity, okay?

Yeah, the only solution then is to just clarify: what is it that I truly am? Okay? Not how I can make the story better, or not how I can prevent some things from coming in the world of appearances, not how to change my feelings—none of that. Because in all of those, we are taking ourselves to be the limited one, okay? The unlimited being which you were discovering as I was speaking earlier, does that have a problem with anything that appears? Not at all. So it's only when we take ourselves to be the story character, and then that story character tries to apply the learned spirituality, spiritual knowledge—which mostly then becomes conceptual, you see—it tries to apply the spiritual concepts to make the life or the story of the character better. That is not what it will do. In fact, it may make it even worse.

Yes, yes, it will create further contradiction.

Yeah, like most non-spiritual ones in the world, if they have a headache or they have a fight with their father, they will say, 'Oh, I just have a headache,' you know, or 'My father is so bad, you know, I don't like him,' and they'll just deal with it directly. Yeah, what would happen exactly, you see? One, they're feeling upset with the headache or their father or whatever, but they're also saying, 'But I'm spiritual, I shouldn't feel this way. I should be over this stuff by now.' So they're dealing with even more baggage or garbage than the regular normal human beings, you see? So we must let go of trying to use spirituality to improve our life.

I know it can sound very strange because all of us apparently came into spirituality to improve our life, but there comes a point where the light of your recognition becomes so strong that you see that this 'me' that I took myself to be was just a narrative, was just a set of ideas, you see? Now, any attempt to try and use God to improve a set of ideas is very strange, isn't it? So when you don't remember, then you don't remember anyway, right? So whatever is happening is happening, it's fine. But when you do remember, remember that the only suffering is confusion about what you are. The only problem: confusion about what you are. Don't try to solve anything else, at least spiritually. In the only way you may try to—whatever you want is fine—but use spirituality only to shine the light of self-discovery on yourself. Then you will find that the notion of problem and solution doesn't really exist for you.

Just like in a playground, just like Disneyland, many events may come, many ups and downs may happen in a roller coaster, you see, but none of it is a problem. It's all part of the game; it's all part of the play. So if you don't identify with that which you are not, then there is no such thing as problem or solution. So this is very useful because many of us who have now taken on a spiritual identity then try to use the spirituality to make the life of the spiritual identity better.

Yes, oh, this was really useful because it's so exhausting.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. These are the traits of the spiritual seeker, you see. They feel they always feel like they are almost there. They always feel like they're almost there. They feel like their life has to change now, you see. They feel like because of spirituality something has to become better in their life. You must leave that identity completely.

Yes, yes, this was really so clear. Thank you. And just one another thing: I developed an anxiety about not getting it yet. So many years, so many times, so many books, so many contemplations, and I see that I'm getting more and more anxious and to the point of total panicking.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay, I want—and because it's very important and I see this condition in some of you—anything that you hear in satsang, if it makes you feel guilty, unworthy, or anxious, just throw it away. Just throw it away. It is not meant to create any of that, you see? Firstly. Secondly, now for a few minutes with me, you do an exercise. Instead of trying to get it, try to lose it, you see? Don't try to get it. So what I am telling you: you cannot lose your being. Your being you cannot lose. That which is aware of your being you cannot lose. And that is all that you need to discover. So now don't try to get it. Are you still being?

Yes.

That's it. That's all you will ever get in satsang, you see? Don't go with the 'but,' because I know the mind will say... Now again, don't be. Can you do it?

No.

That's it. That being is the discovery. Are you aware of this being?

Yes.

That's it. That's it, then. You see, nothing, nothing, nothing more than this. Now, the only thing that will trouble you is if you try to use this discovery for the non-existent 'me.' You say, 'What does this mean for me now? Am I free now?' You see, all this. If you put—if you try to insert the simple discovery of being and that which is aware of being into your story, that is when it will trouble you.

Yes, yes, I see. I see, yes.

So remember my simple game. Whenever the mind says, 'You have to get it, you haven't gotten it yet, you're almost there, you had that experience so many years ago but it's lost'—all that nonsense. Just sit for a moment and say, 'I'm not trying to get it. Let me see if I can stop being. Don't be,' you see? And your being is there. It's so apparent. That being has no boundary, it has no limitation, it has no births, no death. Everything that you're looking for has gone—is your very being.

So show me now how you cannot get it. The mind will say, 'It can't be that simple. I've tried this for so long.' All this nonsense objection will come, like the lawyer for the ego will come and say, 'Objection! Objection!' for everything. But just simply check for yourself: can you not be? Can you leave the awareness of this being? It is so natural, so natural. The instant you are empty of any selfishness, you see—and by selfishness I mean of trying to use this in some way—it's just simple.

It's not that I want to use it, actually. It's like not making mistakes anymore.

Yeah, what do we even try to use it to not make mistakes anymore? It just—and I'm not saying this in any harsh way, I'm saying it quite nicely because here also about the spiritual seeker that used to be here, and it wanted to find freedom which was based on always being in peace, never getting angry, you see? All of these ideas, which are my ideas about what spiritual freedom means. But for a moment, if you forget all that and we just keep it about what I'm saying, which is: can you stop being? Are you not aware? Who is aware of being? This very simple question is all that the spiritual discovery is about. Everything else takes care of itself.

This is so beautiful, so beautiful, so helpful. Thank you. Thank you so much.

So thank you. Thank you. Bye.

Father.

So we must not confuse the spiritual journey. What are we journeying for? What is the end point? And whatever end point the mind sets for us, you'll always be almost there. You could spend a million lives almost there. Remember, right at the beginning of the journey you felt you were almost there. Now it's been 20, 30, 40 years, you feel like you're almost there. There's no end to this game. But you can leave that entire construct. How can you not be? Whose being is this? Who's being here? Who's being? How could you be? What gives you the right to be this being? The mind cannot understand, cannot understand. Okay, I see your hands. I'll come to you guys in a moment. Let's see, let's play some more with this. Let's see. We go to Laura. Laura, can you come?

Hello, hello Father. Thank you very much. I did my transcriptions and it was very, it was very powerful. And I saw that in that moment you asked me if this recognition was shaky-shaky or it was calm. And I saw that in that moment it was like kind of shaky-shaky, but I didn't—how? I didn't know how, I didn't understand everything, nothing. And yeah, and then I tried to go more deep in this and I saw when this is shaky-shaky and I don't know, that was very powerful. And then I asked you about these emotional and sentimental things, and I also try to see how this is working. And when I now—when I got very sentimental or emotional, I can see how this arises and then go. And actually, sometimes I don't get involved in that. I just tried to center in my heart and that also was very powerful. And all this happened because I tried to go again once and again with the conversation that we had. And also I wanted to thank you because I put these vices and bad habits at your feet and suddenly everything around me is like changing and is becoming like more clean. And I've been clean, so and I'm very happy with this. And my environment is becoming like—yes, mercury. So that's my report.

Very good. I'm so happy. I'm so happy today. Thank you very much. Okay, let's go to who can be good? All the ones that have their videos off don't want to come. Is that one okay? Can we go to Pooja? Pooja?

Hello, hello. My phone is very bad. I will just take it out here. Can you hear me?

I hear you well.

Yeah, hi. Hello, hello. It's fun like this, no?

It's fun like this, yeah, it is.

So how's it going? What's happening?

Um, how can I say? There's been so, so much and also nothing, you know? What I've experienced lately, what I've seen really, is that there was very, very hard days...

Okay, let's go to... who can be good? All the ones that have their videos off don't want to come. Is that one okay? Can we go to Pooja? Pooja, hello.

Hello, hello. My phone is very bad. I will just take it out here. Can you hear me?

I hear you well, yeah. Hi.

Hello, hello. It's fun like this, no?

Yeah, it is. So, how's it going? What's happening?

Um, how can I say? There's been so, so much and also nothing, you know. Um, what I've experienced lately, what I've seen really, is that there were very, very hard days like this last week. And um, a dark... very, very... like I could see things that I've been sitting with during a long time, just working out, you know. And I thought that... can I... I don't know if I can hear you. Are you muted?

I'm not saying anything much yet. I'm just saying, um...

Because I've been kind of um, very much contemplating them by myself and kind of using the pointings as much as I can to um, to see the untrueness of them and not engage the attention, yes. But somehow it's just kind of out of control that they just come out and they're expressed in a way that, yeah, that is not suiting, you know, somehow.

Can you give me an example of what do you mean?

Um, that I can see that it's based on separation. It's based on um, uh, on wanting to be with Guruji, wanting to be with I, wanting to be where... where I've spent some time in once, Sahaj, and wanting to be there. And also underneath there is some kind of fear some place, you know. But just this... yeah, they're based on separation. So there is an attraction and a very big nourishment when there is a presence of such beings that are like just bearing fruits of what he's pointing. So there is still like I'm not kind of fully finding it inside of myself, yes, you know. Yeah. And also realizing that it has to be found inside of myself, like it has to be here, you know.

This is beautiful, beautiful already. Um, so these contemplations, what are you hoping to achieve with them?

I found... I found like just... but I had like there's a contentment that I'm hoping to achieve. Also, take a time, take it... so not a quality, a qualityless peace, you know. Because I've experienced quality-full peace, but a true peace. And I don't know if it is um, what I experienced because I know there is the coming and going. And I can clearly see the strenuous energy of the restless mind in the body, you know, and discern that. And that maybe the wisdom is to see that I'm still here when that happens. But there's still like a wanting to kind of... or an expectation that I'm maybe not supposed to experience that, or just be my fullness really, like even if that is there but still like not wanting it, you know. Because I've seen also, especially being in high company, I just seen it just vanishing and completely like, 'What am I speaking about? You know, what is this?' And it does not exist. And also energetically it doesn't exist as well. So, so what is the truth, you know? So it's like, is it possible or am I just wanting something that maybe it is not it, that this vanishes?

Yes. So, uh, just to expand on that. So suppose I have a hundred grams of attributeless peace, you see. The only attribute is that it is hundred grams. Who would we give it to? At what does it... like attributeless, what do you mean with that, right? And now I'm looking for someone to present it to. Who should I give it to?

The one that wants somehow, that's asking for it.

Yes. But the one with quality, with attributes, cannot hold on to anything which is qualityless. Yeah. So the one that wants it has a quality of limitation, has a quality of desire, has a quality of wanting itself, isn't it?

Yeah, so that's why you cannot get it. Yeah, I can see that. Like I've been seeing that also, like that the... clearly that it's just speaking out of my mouth like also like, 'Wow, that sounds like just happy when it's here.' And I can see that I'm not that.

Yes. And that which is truly that, that which is truly the Self or the being, all that is in service to that being must already be with it, isn't it? Can that which is in service to God or being, can that be taken away? Or can God ask for it?

It feels like like somehow it cannot be taken away and...

Yeah. So only the one that cannot have it can ask for it. And the one that it comes from, the very source of it, is always here. So what if I told you that it is the wanting itself which gets in the way, and without the wanting, all that you want is already here? You want to try this as a live experiment?

Yes, yes.

So, like I've been saying—I don't know when you joined—but don't be. For a moment, try your best to not be and tell me when you succeed. And don't give it to the mind because the mind will obviously say, 'No, no, that can't happen,' you see. Just actually with the innocence of a child, trying not to be right now.

It's not like this, but I can... maybe the feeling of not being is when sleep takes over or when a foggy mind is here.

Yeah, so forget all that. Forget all the projections of past and future, mind, everything. Just right this, right now. Don't give it to the intellect at all.

So it doesn't... like I can't try not to be. Um, I can see what I believe prevents me from being, and that is...

Seeing what I believe prevents me from being, yes. So that aspect of your being where there is belief and disbelief, don't bother with that aspect of your being. Where is that aspect contained? Can you share a bit about that? I can repeat a bit slowly. So there's an aspect of your being which has the capacity to believe, to judge, to not believe, to let go. So let's not look, not worry about that for a moment. What else is there? What else is there to you?

Is um, like there's nothing that is engaging in anything, yes. Nothing that is engaging, you know.

Okay, let's let's try this this way. So there's an aspect of your being where all perceptions are perceived, yes?

Yeah.

So, and that includes that which we call object, it includes thoughts, it includes emotion, sensation, everything. Now that space in which all of this is there, that space in which all of this is there, is that outside of you?

It's like there's no answer. Like, um, yes, it's not outside of me. It's like I know it's not outside of me.

And when we try to look for it, just look for a boundary which would separate the inside from the outside. And try to see if body sensations create a boundary, if any other perception creates a boundary, or is your experience of beingness the same on either side of the sensation and therefore it is not binding you? If you come across something which truly acts as a boundary, you can call that out. Is there anywhere where you are less present compared to somewhere else?

It's like um, I'm more like just settling, you know, in than reflecting.

That's fine, that's fine. Whatever is happening organically is so. And whatever is happening, who is aware of it? Who is witnessing the play of perception?

I don't have an answer. Like, I don't feel...

And yet there is an answer. I see this. Okay, we can even make it simpler. If you can see me on the screen, are you aware of the perception of this hand?

Yeah.

So that 'you' that is aware of this perception, what does that look like?

It doesn't. What quality does it have? So yes, maybe there's an expectation that I have to answer something and...

There's no no such requirement. No such requirement. In fact, whatever you answer will be meaningless anyway. What's more important is the recognition. So, and just all it needs is a little simplicity because you're saying it's so natural, isn't it? I am aware of the perception of your hand. It is I. But this I itself, I don't have a basis, I don't have a phenomenal basis for calling it I. Can we agree there? Can we contemplate this for a moment where it's so obvious, it's so natural that I am aware, you see, of all these perceptions, you see? And yet this I that is aware, I cannot perceive. And yet so naturally all of us call it 'our' because if I was to say to you, 'No, no, it's not you that is aware, it's somebody else,' you would say, 'No, no, Ananta, what are you saying?' So clearly I am aware of the perception, but this I that is aware is beyond all perceptions. No quality applies to it. On what basis do we call it I? See, only on an intuitive basis. Only in our heart it is so clear that this is what I am. But to the mind, this is all nonsense because it has no way to grasp that which is beyond phenomenon.

I'm I'm I'm aware that there's like nothing that that is because you still put aside whatever is is blocking this or creating any sense of separation. And it's just the rising from time to time, maybe this one that um, like a contraction, okay, in my chest or whatever, very subtle.

May I suggest one thing? I suggest that which is the mind seeker, I'm going to suggest something to you and it has to just be for a few moments and then you can go back to whatever you like. Just for a few moments, forget about everything that you learned after becoming spiritual, yes? Is that a deal? Now, without any of these spiritual constructs that you learned in spirituality, are you aware of the perception of the hand?

Yeah.

This you, can that be perceived?

No, but I still have a self-image present somewhere.

So if there's a self-image, then all images must be perceived, isn't it? So...

Yeah, okay. An awareness even of that perception, yeah.

Yes. So this awareness itself, can you make a painting out of that? What color you put, what shape would you...

No, I I can't. It can... remember painting can sprout out a bit, you know, like some kind of feeling, whatever, but I can't not...

Yes, yes, yes. Then on what basis do you call it you or I?

No basis, like exactly in a logic way I cannot.

Exactly. So it's not a mental basis, it's not a perceptual basis, you see. And yet it is so naturally I, the Self, you see. Yeah. Scriptures, it has told us, the scriptures have told us that the Self is beyond all qualities, beyond all perceivable perceptions, and cannot be captured by any concept. And so simply we come to the recognition of it. Don't try to make any meaning out of anything.

Yeah. Um, I can see it. Like it feels like I can see it, but you know...

Yeah, that is seen also from time to time. It's obvious. Yes.

But there's still I'm living in a timeline, you know. I'm still not living in in timelessness.

But you don't know that. You're just presuming that because there is a repository of seemingly past imagery. But we can't confirm that it really happened. Just like the dream could have started just now, but if somebody says, 'What is your name?' you may still say, 'Pooja.' 'Who gave you the name?' 'Oh, Guruji,' you see. But the dream just started. So the memory is not a valid repository to be able to say this really happened. What can we truly, truly see? Where is the past? Nothing. Doesn't exist. Doesn't exist. In fact, you cannot live in time if you try it, because you can never objectify yourself that much. Only when you can... you can make the claim of living in time with the narratives that you share, but you can never actually live there. Try to be an object in time. How would you be? Insert your being into time. Just like this, like I can put this in time. Here it was here, now, then in the future it came here. Apparently we all have to speculate like that, you see. Can you can you do that with your being? In fact, send it the other way around, where time is actually the plaything of your being and it plays attention... the play of attention we create, somehow create a narrative of time. Just like in reading a comic book, if you read it like this, like this, like this, the frames like that, you see, it creates a narrative like that and time seems to have flown like this way. But if you're reading a Japanese comic book, you're going the other way and it creates a narrative like that.

Hmm. Um, is it is it is it of any value to like um, to put the attention on myself?

Your attention actually can't go to yourself because attention can only go to that which is perceivable. Even if it is complete dark empty space, it is still perceivable. But that which is aware of even dark empty space, attention cannot go there. Sometimes we use that in satsang. We may say something like...

Way, but if you're reading a Japanese comic book, you're going the other way and it creates a narrative like that, hmm.

Um, is it of any value to like, put the attention on myself?

Your attention actually can't go to yourself because attention can only go to that which is perceivable. Even if it is complete dark empty space, it is still perceivable. But that which is aware of even dark empty space, attention cannot go there. Sometimes we use that in satsang; we may say something like this, but that is just like a tool to withdraw attention from other distractions for a moment and maybe rest it in the being. Or when we ask a question like 'What is aware even of being?' it may seem like attention comes to a sort of darkness or void or emptiness, but that is not the emptiness that we are speaking of. The emptiness that we are speaking of is empty even of the quality of emptiness. So awareness is not like a dark empty room, you see, because even that is a perception. So attention can bring us quality, it can bring us attributes, but that which is beyond quality and attributes, attention cannot go there.

Try to keep your attention on the 'I' that is aware of all perceptions, like we were doing earlier. Can you keep your attention, bring your attention to that? Where will you keep it? Whatever you perceive at that point, ask yourself: who is aware of that? Is that captured in their attention? So neither with attention nor with concept can we come to self-recognition. It is just like that; it's just intuitive. So there is this awareness. What is this location? Or more directly, where are you? What is your location? Where are you aware from? Just sitting there being aware, where is that? Just chilling, being aware as if you have no other work to do. Where are you? Where are you? There is nowhere. There is nowhere for you. There is no when, and there's definitely no why for you. Only worthwhile question worth asking is: who? Who am I? Looks like you found some quality-less peace there.

Yeah, I feel like the thing I can see now is that um, there is a habit to maybe recapture the words you've spoken and they kind of arise in this, and maybe that's a trick. Yes, there is a reminder, I don't know, to try and convert the pure insight into an understanding is a primitive trick of the mind. So don't try to understand it in any concept yet. Because you said earlier, like if anger arises, you know, which is absolutely not here and it's just an idea, I can't understand how can pure being be anger, allowed to come and go, but it itself does not take on any of those positions in reality. I also don't want to be anyone that has to do it by itself, you know. Like, even who are you? Because I see myself just sitting by myself and rarely speaking out.

Yes, and that's also a trick. Yes. But are you representing yourself as the body-mind, or what are you representing yourself as? Thou be as the body-mind, but I'm not. There's so many body-minds to pick from on this Zoom call. All are just objects of your perception. You don't have to limit yourself to just one. Very good, very good.

Yeah, thank you for speaking, for giving me this opportunity to look. Very, very grateful. Thank you so much. Love you very much.

Okay, let's go to those who have had their hands up. Let's go to Varjo. Varjo, who are you? I'm very bad at pronouncing you. See him anymore? There you are. Thank you. Good, good. Very good, very good. Best conversation, conversationalism. I love it. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you so much. Let's go to Claudia. I haven't heard from her in a bit.

Hello, hello, hello. I wanted to thank you because from satsang to satsang the recognition is really experienced. It's not anymore my mind coming in and saying 'Are you sure? Is it real? Is it that?' It's really pure and stable and experienced. But before you said the 'unreal me' and then, ah, it popped up. This unreal me is not experience. It is like that because it's written, it's a concept, but yes, I don't experience that.

Yes, exactly, exactly. It's just a story, just a narrative. Yes. And because there has been belief in the past in the narrative, so the narrative needs to have a central character, you see? And the central character is what we've called 'me'. But now as the narrative is falling away and what you're recognizing is yourself to be that which is so beyond the linear narrative or the story, then all of this 'me' has no legs to stand on. See? No legs to stand on because it's never, like you said, it's never a tangible experience anyway.

That's right. No legs to stand on, but not experienced. It's still there. The 'me' is still there.

Yeah, yeah. Yes. Can it be? Let's look together. Yes, together. Can you show me where it is?

No, no. So maybe yes, body, or this... the body.

The body is not the 'me' because the body doesn't want freedom, you see? The body is not having trouble in relationship. The body doesn't even have trouble with body. The body doesn't say 'I want a healthier body,' you see? The body is quite an innocent instrument, like this cup. Yeah. So the body cannot be 'me'. And if you really took yourself to be just the body, then why would you come? No, no, I don't. Exactly, exactly. You would not come to satsang because there's nothing body in satsang. So, but what is the unreal me then? It's just like if you were to sit and start thinking about one woman who's sitting on the banks of the Ganga and she's had a tough life, you see? And more and more thoughts that you put into this narrative, the more true that character sitting on the banks of the Ganga will seem. So in the same way, we fed an idea about ourselves with all these thoughts and ideas about what is good, what I like, what I don't like, what do I really want—all of these things. So it feels like there's a real character there.

Well, that is not there anymore. This has gone. This is gone.

Very good. And that's why it's unreal. It's not real. Only the unreal can be gone, no? The real cannot come and go. Yes, yes, yes. Very good. I like the innocence, I like this integrity. Very nice. Thank you. Oh, very good. So happy, very nice. It's so good to keep it so uncomplicated, unburdened by concept. Just simply looking. I don't find such a 'me'. It's gone. It's simple. Hey, now, okay, let's go to Keisha.

Hello. I do thank you for the unexpected request to sing. It brought up a lot of sensation. I did want you to be fair, at my time though. So it's morning for me. I see you guys here. So when I woke up at 4:30 a.m. and I saw it, I was like, 'Oh, I have an hour.' Thank you. Mind wants to come up with a lot of stories around it.

But I can tell you a story about this. The thing I remember that Radha from Bangalore, she was going to record her first album. And I remember telling her that it's very good you go and you sing, but if you come back a singer, then I'm going to chop your head off. Because many of these things can have subtle ways of identity building: devising, well-dressing badly, 'What does he think?', 'What is the sangha?', you know, all of these things. Then you can create this identity of being a singer. So the same advice I would have for you. Like, you came up, you sang, like the singing happened and it's over now. Forget it. Don't attach to any sort of singer-type notion, right?

It's more about like the, definitely the judgments around it, you know, about quality and things like that. But when I removed that, it was more about the inner energy behind it and the release behind it.

So forget about that. Energy is whose problem? Yours? Everything is consciousness. So the source of all seeming energy is consciousness itself. There's nothing for us to time, evaluate, or even to judge or label and say 'This is energy' and this is... because actually everything that is appearing is energy that way. Yes, yes.

And I rewatched a lot of our satsangs and exchanges for the past few days and you say the same thing to me in all of them.

And I'm saying the same thing to everyone, everybody. Yeah, it really is the same thing to everybody. And it's really, as I was saying to the previous questioner, that there's only one spiritual problem, which is the misidentification or the play of identification. And the solution only is to come to a true recognition of what we are. So the question is always the same and the answer is always the same. Only the expression seems to be a bit different based on the conditioning that we may have picked up over the years.

Yes. Yeah, and I just feel there's just a lot of sensation happening and um...

It's okay. As long as you're not buying into any interpretation of that, then consciousness is dealing with it in its own beautiful way. The minute we interpret to mean something, you see, then it inadvertently inserts this play of personhood into that because the meaning is always limited compared to what it is in actuality, and limitation implies ego. You see what I'm saying? So sensation, allow it to remain in pure perception. Nothing is too big for consciousness to deal with. The minute we say 'It is a lot,' for example, then we have made ourselves tinier than what we are, isn't it? How many waves are allowed for the ocean? But how many waves are allowed for a single wave? Just a few is a lot for a single wave. So if we believe a boundary about ourselves—and sometimes the notion itself contains the boundary line, isn't it?—so if the notion is 'Oh, that's a lot of sensation,' then in that agreement that that is a lot, we are making ourselves into a little bit. But empty of that interpretation, what is your size? Just here. What can overwhelm you in your reality? How many kilograms of sensation is a lot? We have kilograms, pounds... how many pounds? I'm not asking for any sort of denial or looking away from what is appearing. I'm just asking for a full openness to whatever is appearing. And I can guarantee it that in the full openness, it is the magnificence of your being which is meeting whatever is being created within itself. And for the magnificent being, no matter what it is, it is never too much. And this you're recognizing. You're recognizing this because although sometimes the mouth may say 'Wow, there's so much of this' and whatever, but actually in your heart you're seeing it just play out.

Yeah, I just I really just wanted to connect with you too because I, and maybe it's personal love, but I just I feel you so powerfully these days. And the interaction was so limited before and you're just so everywhere and so powerful. And to take that for granted is such a flaw because this is the 'it', this is the life that we're here now. And I cannot take that for granted and take you for granted because you are not just you, you're not just Ananta, you are my soul. And it's becoming more and more apparent. And I never have been a devotional kind, just untrusting by birth. It must have been by birth. Yeah, this came out of the womb: 'Are you really my mom?'

Yes, so don't worry. You said very beautifully that the master is not, of course, not this man called Ananta. It is your very being, your very divine presence, the Satguru within. And of course you will feel a lot of love for that. Now what happens is that because it is something that the mind is not used to, it tries to understand it and put it in the box. Like in India we say 'Guru Mata, Guru Bandhu, Sakha,' which means that the Guru is the mother, it's the father, it is the brother, sister, and the friend, you see? But the mind cannot actually fathom a love which is so broad, so it will try to put that love into a box. Actually, love is never personal. It is the want and the desire which is personal. Love is always free, it's always open, you see? So what happens is because this love which you're feeling for your own divinity can seem so big, so broad, you see, the mind can say, 'Oh, what's really happening to you? What is...'

The guru is the mother, it's the father, it is the brother, sister, and the friend, you see. So, but the mind cannot actually fathom a love which is so broad, so it will try to put that love into a box. Actually, love is never personal; it is the want and the desire which is personal. Love is always free, it's always open, you see. So, what happens is because this love which you're feeling for your own divinity can seem so big, so broad, you see, the mind can say, 'Oh, what's really happening to you? What is this person like?' This kind of fear, and this is natural for these kind of things to happen. Don't worry. As you are remaining in your openness and emptiness, things get clarified and you realize that there's really nothing personal about it, although the mind may try to push that box to you again and again. Don't bother with it. Don't worry, it's taken care of. And you will see this; it's not that small that it can just be present. It's much better. This is your love for God. It is your love for divinity. It is the love for yourself. It is the God-kind of love that we can have. Okay, thank you. I love you again. Okay, let's go to Bram and Santiago. Namaste.

Father, I'm just so, so happy to have the privilege of being in satsang with you today. I just want to take this opportunity to express this gratitude and this love and the absolute blessing of in this life having human beings like Guruji, like yourself, in our lives. And to have these heads at the feet of the master is just indescribable.

I'm very happy to just—I'm very happy to see all this. You all living together now? I see Ladia is also there. Maybe you told me?

We're actually—we are in quarantine in Monte Sahaja.

Wonderful. It's so good. What better place can there be to quarantine?

Yes. I'm just so soulful. Blessing to you on Guru Purnima and it really feels like every day is Guru Purnima, you know, with the grace of the master just never-ending. Thank you so, so much.

Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you for your beautiful blessings and good wishes as well, and same to all of you. And I know some in India are celebrating Guru Purnima today and some are celebrating tomorrow. So it doesn't matter which day it is, but any excuse to bow our heads at the master's feet is beautiful and auspicious. So all my blessings, all my love to all of you on this day of bringing the master to the forefront of our hearts, and may this day be just the rest of our lives. We also have a little bit of a celebration planned tomorrow for a little bit of time. Maybe 11 o'clock, 11 o'clock India time, we have some little bit to join Guruji's Mooji TV and nice celebration. So tomorrow is the main day when we are celebrating here, but I'm so glad you reminded me of this today as well.

May we sing a little song, Father? I don't know if the microphone here is so well, but...

It's very good. Please.

No, very beautiful. Very beautiful. And this is a beautiful way. Everyone has Guruji in their hearts and although in the expression of the play of life it can seem chaotic, it can seem chaotic, but if all of us just keep the master's presence in our hearts, it's all fine. Nothing bothers us, nothing troubles us. If you don't have the idea of perfection or life having to go only a certain way, then all this play of life with all its colors and flavors can happen and it doesn't trouble us. Beautiful, beautiful. So, not sure if I can answer any more questions. I want to go to Siva because I don't feel like we've spoken before. Let's go to Siva. Can you unmute, my dear?

Actually, I have come and met you a couple of times. I just wanted to thank you today being the day of Guru Purnima. And I think you have—I mean, I cannot simply express how I have been healed by your pointings. And so one thing that I want to share now is that as we feel your presence and as we listen to you, things become apparent. And where I used to sort of get stuck was in the habit of re-knowing it. So, okay, now once I step out of satsang, yes, let me approach the same way, the way it is, and try to re-know, go back to the clarity. So that was one place where I was going back again and again and it was bringing in a sense of frustration that I'm not able to do it like the way it was done during the satsang. Yeah, but as—I'm not sure from where the help comes, but it's so beautiful that right once we again go back to the basics, even that is getting settled and that habit is also sort of losing its effect on gravity and we are just able to sit and relax in something which is still behind all this and sort of let loose. Okay, fine.

And yeah, I think it couldn't have happened without your help or without your guidance or help. I'm not able to put it exactly. And for that, I really—because I honestly feel that that is a great place to be stuck and it's never easy to even recognize or acknowledge that and step out of it. And I really thank you from deep inside for helping me even without myself knowing about it. Even it takes a while to even recognize that I have been healed, have given that capacity to recognize and acknowledge that I have been helped and to stay in this process and to stay in the basics, right? So I'm just again taking your blessings because there's a lot of temptation still hanging around to go to experiences and to continue certain, you know, to stay in the zone, to continue to gain further momentum in the course of experiencing. But again, to my wonder, I see that even that is also sort of getting dropped, that that is not needed. And I am still wondering how can he not chasing such things? And I just want to be this way with this cadence that is coming from, and for that I am seeking your blessings more and more not to fall into baits and to simply stay unperturbed in this process and to be always in the basics and to stay there to uncover and to have it as a live process without chasing shadows.

So again, I want to thank you and seek your blessings more and more. And I am waiting to—probably I'm not sure you do—I wanted to even come last year for honor situations and we couldn't even plan a travel. So I'm just thinking of—I mean, I just visualized that the next day I'm going to come and be in your presence there. But one another beautiful thing is that even that wanting, it seems to also come down a bit. I mean, the guidance is there and it's okay that if I don't come and meet you today or tomorrow. The moment I seek help, sort of I close my eyes, things are already resolved. And the only thing that I keep doing is that I wonder, I keep wondering at it, how it is resolved. I mean, I had to be doing something, but it's already resolved. So it takes some time to accept that only. So for that acceptance, I seek your blessings more and more to see that things are already resolved when we remember you, to stay in that zone. So I just on this day want to seek your blessings.

Very beautiful, very beautiful report and truly touched my heart. And thank you, thank you. Such a joy to hear you because I remember that for quite some time, you know, these questions would keep bothering you. But now I love the way you're saying, 'Just stick to the basics.' You can just keep it simple. Just keep it simple. And I'm so happy that you have the sense in your heart, this clarity in your heart, that you are held, you're taken care of no matter what life is throwing at you. So I'm truly touched by seeing you like this today. I'm very, very happy. Love, all my blessings.

Because sometimes what can happen is that we can feel like, 'All my questions have to be resolved and why isn't he answering me?' You know, these kind of things can come. But like I say often, satsang is just one percent in the words, and that one percent is also too much. That feeling of presence, of the divine presence in the heart, that just takes care of everything. Takes care of everything. So the words are just a bridge to get you to that divinity which is already present in your heart, and that's their only purpose. But once in your heart you truly want God, you truly want the truth, it is not possible for God to abandon you. And whatever instruments come in the form of masters, they are just instruments of that divine presence, of the divine force. So all my love, all my blessings. Thank you. Let's see what shows up now. Let's go to La de Ron.

I love you so much truly. Thank you for the rediscovering of this laughter. Destroy this troll. Okay, there's gonna be a falafel report. This song came. Oh yes, it's 'Joy to the World, the Self.' The Self you are and entrust the Self I am. Yes, in truth the Self I as you can only be. There, that's very nice.

Oh God, I'm so glad we record these things. Okay, little report about the falafel, please.

I'm so glad I took this spiritual name because actually a falafel can only be eaten, right? So the spiritual 'I' is eaten peacefully. Fantastic. So I love this, the way you said. You said 'La de falafel' and it's 'L'as du falafel.' And do you know what it means? It means 'The Ace of Falafel.' Yes, like the best. And what is absolutely great is that there was this little—let me find the picture again—there was, oh yes, to the right it's written, and that means 'Always imitated, never equalled.' I see.

Isn't that it? That's it, that's it. The great imitation by the ego, but never equalled. Very good. Fantastic. L'as du falafel. Yes, I don't live in Paris, but I'll come to Paris whenever you come, that's for sure. Thank you, thank you. I'm so glad, I'm so happy to meet you in this so light way. It's very beautiful. Oh yes. Okay, let's go to Poonam. Namaste.

Namaste, Father. Actually, last time you said just on the guidance, like just arms up and loosen everything. And I was so stuck to that, it didn't happen immediately. It took a lot of time, but just I kept in this thing inside: 'Yes, this is what I need to do.' But it was not happening. It happened after a long time naturally. Then for the last two, three days, what happened? That naturally there was a natural alertness, knowingness, awareness, everything. Body was doing and outside everything was happening naturally. But still there was an alertness that I could make it out in a particular incidence. Yes, there is an alertness. Something happened. I was like outside, I was very in a loose manner, not very alert, but still instantly that moment I could catch that. Then there was a confirmation, you know, whatever is happening, there is natural awareness.

Yes, but then after two, three days, what happened? At that moment I just—it just shifted. And at that moment when it shifted, even I was aware that, 'Yes, it is shifted,' in that particular moment only. But when shifted, and then fear entered. 'Oh, not again. Again the emotional reactions will come, outbursts will come.' And then fear slowly, steadily, I was watching it was taking a—overpower me. And no matter what I tried to, like just to be aware, not give into them, but I just gave into that after two, three days. And then again the same story happened. And even it was happening and I was aware internally: 'Look, again you have involved with the whole self and you did the same thing.' But it was like a compulsive habit, like action is going on. It was not in my control. I was just doing that. No, I was aware, but still I was doing that.

Yes, but what happens after that? I feel so guilty. I feel so bad. 'Again I did this, again I did this.' Then all the criticism, everything just starts. And then question came to keep: 'Actually that awareness was not true, it was attention-based, that is why you shifted.' I'm with you, I'm with you. Thank you for reporting this and I can see how much weight it has for you. So just know that I'm always with you. I'm always with you, firstly, and don't have...

I was just doing that. No, I was aware, but still I was doing that. Yes, but what happens after that? I feel so guilty. I feel so bad. 'Again I did this, again I did this.' Then all the criticism, everything just starts. And then the question came that actually that awareness was not true; it was attention-based, that is why you shifted.

I'm with you. I'm with you. Thank you for reporting this, and I can see how much weight it has for you. So just know that I'm always with you. I'm always with you, firstly. And you don't have to pressurize yourself so much. I'm not leaving you, okay? We will see through this together. Don't go. So firstly, just allow yourself to feel reassured about that—that whatever is your highest desire in your heart, God, the Self, it is going to be found. It is going to be realized. So now, in that reassurance, everything else can be a bit lighter, smoother. I don't have to make it, 'Oh, I did that, I shouldn't have done this.' You see, that was not real awareness.

So I'll give you some tips today also, but my throat is feeling a bit tired, so we may not be able to speak for long. But I'm always there. I'm always there with you. And so what I want to tell you is that—and you notice also—that actually, even when attention is going to fear, attention is going to thought, even when you're believing something, you're taking yourself to be the limited identity, that which is aware of all of this layer of perceptions, that remained untouched, isn't it? So now, this awareness is what you truly are, and that remains untouched. There is no other 'you' in reality, you see. All other 'you' is just an idea; it's just notional. So whatever is appearing and disappearing in the life of Poonam, that doesn't touch awareness in any real way.

Now, but if you want to make Poonam's life into a true representative of awareness, that will start becoming problematic. Why should Poonam's life be representative of awareness? No life can actually represent awareness. The play of the body-mind that we call Poonam in the light of consciousness can just happen naturally. Sometimes some anger is coming, sometimes some fear is coming. It's okay. It's all the sugar and spice of life.

Then ego identity comes up very strongly.

Yes, but the ego identity is already there when we are trying to control our life in that way, right? See, so it only seems to get amplified, but the subtext is already the ego identity which is saying, 'No, now in this life, this should happen only like this.' You see, that is not a surrender. Although we want to find the highest, when we try to squeeze that into this body-mind expression, then that is not a true surrender. True surrender is: You are the doer, You are the experiencer. As I joke with some of the Sangha here sometimes, 'Menu ki?' How is it your problem? So that is surrender.

So surrender is to leave everything into consciousness. You are the doer, You are the experiencer. To do recognition is to realize that you are that awareness which remains untouched by any of this play. So in either way, it is none of your business, actually. But if you make it your business, then that is the ego, actually.

Indirectly I was controlling, actually.

Okay. So anytime we want to take control of the narrative, the story—'Only this should happen, this should not happen'—you see, then we don't realize that the spiritual aspect, the spiritual avatar of the ego, is one of the most oppressive egos out there because it has many do's and don'ts and rights and wrongs and shoulds. So let go of that. Just let go of that. Allow your life to be run by consciousness as consciousness. You see, whatever it is doing, it is fine. Because otherwise, what can happen is without realizing, we want to make this body-mind into an enlightened one. The body-mind can never be the enlightened one, isn't it?

So give it that freedom. Give the world full freedom. Give this body-mind full freedom, because it is included in the world, because it is an appearance as the rest of the world, you see. So don't put some special rules on this particular appearance that now you have to represent only truth. No expression can live up to that, you see. Words can't express truth. I cannot speak the truth. I try to speak the truth, but the truth cannot be spoken. Then how will we become that way?

So just allow this body to be the instrument of the light of consciousness, of the Satguru's presence. And whatever word it puts in this mouth to speak—like Guruji puts the words in this mouth, these words come out—does he think? Allow whatever is put there by the Master's grace to come out, but don't judge it. It's a very simple and easy way of life. Very, very natural, with no judgments, no spiritual benchmarks—'It should be like this only, it should not be like that.' Just empty. Just open and empty. With all of that, open and empty doesn't mean that the expression is only always, 'I'm so open and easy.' It's not like that. The expression could be in a work meeting, it could be in an argument with the partner; all that could be happening, but inwardly you are open and empty. And even if inwardly you are not open and empty, surrender that to the Satguru.

Exactly. So you don't take any pressure about this. That's my issue, actually, mainly because I take control unknowingly and then start doing the same thing. And that is how the spiritual ego is built, actually.

We don't realize it, but that is spiritual ego. 'Now I have to always remain like this, now I have to...' and we don't realize, but it's full of specialness about 'me'—that 'I' should always remain like this. So we just surrender that and say whichever way God keeps me is fine. Mind will come up with a lot of objections, but what about that? Just leave it all. Surrender all those objections also to the Satguru.

Yes, but you will notice that it will expose all your spiritual desires in the end. But it will expose all the spiritual desire. 'Will my life truly become free like this? Or what if I just go the wrong way and I forget about spirituality if I just surrender?' You see, so yeah, this pain comes.

It's getting more and more exposed with the words. Just let go. Give full freedom to the world, to the body-mind, everything. Leave it fully free.

That's not coming, actually. Something is holding on.

You give that 'something' to me. That 'something' will only propose ideas to you. Of itself, it has no other power except to propose ideas, to propose notions to you, to propose desire to you, to propose specialness to you, to propose even spirituality to you. But now you have to go beyond even spirituality.

It's scary. It's scary to the mind because it is focused on spirituality for so long to feel like, 'But that's the core of my life. Without my spiritual journey, what am I?'

No, it's beautiful. I know this thing because I experienced, I tasted that freedom. But the problem is that still, despite knowing the fact, I am still holding on to... why I am holding, that's the main issue for me. Surrender the main idea that you end up buying. Okay, what is the main idea? Expose it.

Sometime I feel I am not honest, actually. I am just doing the drama outside. Yes, I want to see the truth, I want to realize the truth, but actually somewhere I'm tempted to society's pleasures and all the body-mind pleasures. I just want it like, 'First I will get this thing, then I will come with you.'

Yes, this thing, the idea of unworthiness, is the idea of unworthiness, exactly. Very, very prevalent in spiritual seekers. So whether you are attracted to whatever is, whose problem is it? Leave it. You did not create that. You have nothing to do with it. Just leave it. Don't worry. Anybody who's attracted to anything else cannot come to a second Satsang which is so direct. Where in Satsang somebody may have pulled you in, some friend may have said, 'Come, come, this is good,' you see, but after hearing one Satsang, to come back for a second Satsang, I know in your heart you want the truth. So you don't have to convince yourself. Don't judge yourself in any way. Just return to the innocence of a child.

That's what I'm missing, actually.

My daughter was very little, no? I don't know where it came from, but she used to love Amul butter, you know? She just loved Amul butter. So whose fault is it? Is it her fault? But she was a one-year-old. So God is putting it there, God took care of it. It's okay. Don't have to worry. Very really strong questions from the ones that have hands up because my throat is really starting to give me... just tell me, tell me.

Leela is really strong. Leela kind of... okay. I put my hand up and down so many times. I kept thinking you're going to be finished, but I just... this is such a high vibration Satsang, I don't want to leave it. I don't want you to end this. But um, yeah, I don't want to go back to 'me.' Just, I was... I'm still in all the health stuff. I won't go into it at all, but still full in the drama, full in the identification with being terrified of it. I was looking at your book, the... what is it? The Knowing of the Heart. Right here, The Knowing of the Heart, yes. And there's just one, there's one line that somehow is getting through more than some things. It's... I don't know about an exact quote, but 'What is most apparent?' I think what... or I don't know, 'What is most apparent now?' And when I read that, it sort of... there's a clear clearing, like a clearing, but like an empty... putting it into words, an empty screen. And trying to sort of put it into words... yesterday I was just thinking it's like—and I think this is sort of ruining the whole thing—but trying to put it into words, just like existence itself. Like just existence. And but not 'I exist,' just existence. And it's just like kind of wanting to hold on to that and grasp on to that and to just actually be with that instead of all the fear. And I don't know if that's maybe that... I mean, that's just trying to hold on to something.

Nothing wrong with 'I exist' because it is the true you that exists. The ego or the idea of you never exists.

I'm still really pulled into that. As soon as you say the word 'I,' it's going to personal and it's going to the fear. So it seems such a relief to just say 'existence' and no putting the 'I' on it. I don't know if that's okay.

That's fine for the moment. Yeah, it's completely fine for now because we have used the term 'I,' which Guruji calls the chameleon. The 'I' is so broad that we use it for our ego, we use it for our attention, we use it for our being, we also use it for ourselves as awareness. So but because we have seemingly used it so much for our identity, then anytime it shows up, 'I' seems to carry the baggage. So for a while, it's okay to not use it. It's fine. Okay, good.

Okay. I somehow needed permission. Since a week is going by, I just somehow needed that. Okay, okay. Thank you so much. Thank you. This was an amazing Satsang. I wish I could take it with me.

Yes. All right, thank you. You will carry it, of course, with you in your heart. But also we have recordings and things. So yes, thank you. Thank you. Bye-bye. Okay, let's go to Jada.

Father, can you hear me? Yeah, I can hear you, but I don't know if I can speak so much. I don't feel like it's a question, but more like I'm just learning incredibly. And I don't know if it should be offered up or not. If I just could... I love it or not, I don't know. But yeah, I don't know. Just so much complaining was with me, actually. I just realized that it was always with me, always. And it was always towards outside. And I just come to recognize it when I had a chance to be alone, because when I'm with people, it's very easy to blame them. But when you are by yourself, there is no one to blame. And till these things are with you, then you really have to face that, yes, they are with you also. And yeah, first I wanted to offer this, this complaining. And it's full of... to be full of with myself, actually, like always thinking about myself. And yeah, I realized that I wanted to offer this because I also was like Leela, you know, that I put my hand up and had hands down, and I just don't want to carry this.

With people it's very easy to blame them, but when you are by yourself, there is no one to blame. And till these things are with you, then you really have to face that, yes, they are with you also. And yeah, first I wanted to offer this, this complaining, and it's full of... to be full of with myself actually, like always thinking about myself. And yeah, I realized that I wanted to offer this because I also was like Lila, you know, that I put my hand up and had hands down, and I just don't want to carry this thing anymore because it's our seventh week with you this coming, and then again and again, and it just starts like this within me. And today I want to just give final to this meeting with you. And one more thing also which is related with this complaining thing: of course there is so much sensitivity in this body, but for all of us, yet I want to... there is also so much weakness. Like, okay, sensitivity can be okay, but I feel like with me it's very like weakness, you know? There's so much easily and be pulled away or something, I don't know now.

I think, yeah, all my love, all my blessings always with you. But only last thing I'll say, because my throat is full gone now, is try to contemplate on the questions I've asked you. Try to contemplate on those because, like I was saying, there's no other solution. The only problem is what you take yourself to be. The only solution is the recognition of what you truly are. The rest is all ephemeral; it comes and goes, it keeps rotating unless you really recognize the root of it. And in our previous conversations, I've given you some questions, and I'm happy, I'm happy next time also if you can report something on that, that will be nice as well.

But may I ask you a question, Father? Um, just a small one. For no question, that's good. It's this complaining things which I experienced and this learning, because I never experienced attack towards you also. Like, I always feel so much love. I was doing guilty, but after this very intense period, it's this... not complaining, but this also turned towards you, you know? And I don't know if it just comes like this, and I just want to ask that it is some kind of results that this intense looking... is it something like this? I don't know. I wanted to hear from you.

Yes, yes, yes, of course. Of course it will come. All anger, frustration, complaining, everything will come. And there is not one child in the Sangha in the last eight years who don't go through those phases. It's very natural. When we are digging out the false identity, there's bound to be some of that, you know? It's very rare for it not to come. So I'm very used to that coming, but I'm with you and we can see this through. But nothing will take me away from what I want to guide you to, in spite of whatever you may complain or not complain. That's fine.

Okay, this was the only thing, because I cannot bear to not feel the love towards you, even though I know that I love you all the time. I cannot bear to feel this love, so then I'm just so... okay, so thank you.

We complain with our parents although we love them. In your complaints also, I only hear it's fine. And no parent abandons their children because the children are complaining. So, someone want to sing?

All right. So, yes. So, oh, happy birthday. Yes, so thank you all so much for being in satsang today. Satguru Sri Mooji Baba Ki Jai. Thank you.