Meet Your Self Right Now, As Your Reality. Everything Else Will Be Taken Care Of – 13th May 2022

Now the question is, what capacity do you have to visit outside this universe and find yourself, find the Mother of the universe or the Father of the universe? Because that's what you are. What capacity do you have? Can you think your way there? You cannot think your way. Can you look with sight, hear with hearing, smell with smell, taste with taste, touch with touch? Can you do any of this to get out of the universe? Can't do. Have you seen you can't do this stuff? With every tool that you seem to have at your disposal, you can't do it. But when you for a moment leave yourself empty—empty of trying to do, empty of grasping—is it not apparent that which is aware of this universe is I? I am aware. Is that not apparent? And if it's not you, then who is it? Who is aware of the perception of this voice? Who is perceiving? Who is aware of the perception of this person? If it's not you, then who is it?

Then you will say, 'It is me, but I don't know who that me is.' So then you are trying to mix two instruments. 'It is me'—that recognition is coming from your intuitive insight. And when you say, 'I don't know who that me is,' it is coming from your conceptual mind. So don't do that. Stay where you recognize it is I. 'Stay' means don't give value to the mind. I am deconstructing this whole play for you, trying to make it very simple and digestible so you can meet yourself, if that is what you want, in a very, very direct way without any sideshows. Okay? So this I that is aware of this voice, the perception of these words, that is you. How do you confirm that it is you? You cannot confirm it through perception. Do any of you feel like you're confirming this 'I-ness' business through your perception? And don't just say it because everybody is saying it. Check for yourself. Is anybody inferring, saying, 'Perceptions are there, therefore I must be perceiving them'? Is it an inference? Is it an intellectual process?

So the best antidote to that is that for inferring, for the intellect, you need time. You need time. But right now, you're hearing the click. You're hearing the click. No time. You're hearing it. So you are aware of the perception of the click before you can even think about who it is. It is so naturally known. If you had to think about it, you would say, 'Yes, there is sound. That sound seems to be coming through my ears into that which is perceiving them, which is consciousness, and I am aware of this consciousness perceiving the sound,' you know? But you're not doing that. Just like this, just like this, you're clear that it is you. A child is clear, a grown-up is clear, somebody on their deathbed is clear. Everybody universally is clear. Whether you're in Satsang, it is clear; whether you're in a dance party, it doesn't matter what your situation is, it is clear. And at that level of knowingness, which is intuitive, it is universal. Everybody knows. Nobody says, 'Sound... who is aware of this?' unless you're using it as an inquiry only. But otherwise, I am aware.

But when they look for further definition of what this I is, you see, that is when they trip up. That is when we trip. Who is the I that is aware? If you go for that answer to the mind, or if you go to that answer for that answer to your perceptions, no chance. Forget it, you see. So can you spot that recognition where it is apparent that you are aware of this perception? In what way is it apparent? Most of you will say, 'But it just is. It just is apparent.' That 'just is' which you feel like has no value because it's so natural and it's so organic, that is the most valuable. That 'just is' is what we call the divine insight, intuitive insight. That 'just,' just like that. Before the click. Before the click. If you give yourself time, then you give yourself time to think or to undertake a sort of perceptual search.

So all that I actually need to say, I've said. All that I actually need to say, I've said. The rest of it is only going to be about managing doubt, managing resistance, you see, managing your attempt to try and squeeze this intuitive insight into your head. And to try and stop you from doing that is most of the rest of what is going to be said. Because you will say, 'But how do I stay in this? How can this become permanent?' All this will come from the mind and I will say, 'Forget it. Forget it. Forget it. Forget it' in fifty different ways. That is all that's going to happen. Then I may say, 'Why you need to go there? God is here. God is here. Forget it.' See, that's another way of saying forget it. I say anything you put after 'I am' is a story, so chop it off. Same as saying forget it.

All the pointers are about that resistance management because in your head, which is by its very nature desirous—by its very nature it is desirous—it feels like the little boy who is not invited to the party. That's it. 'But, but how can I be sure I'm getting this?' You are not. 'Is this it?' But you don't know; you weren't there at the party. 'Sure, but nothing happened.' How do you know? You weren't there. So all these reports that come, they're going to say, 'It can't be that simple. Is this it? Is it? There has to be something more. How can I stay like this?' All of this stuff will come from the voice of that uninvited one, you know, who cannot be brought into this insight. So as consciousness, are you done playing with that one? And if you're done playing with that one, then it can't bother you. How to be done playing with that one? Right now, that voice will speak one thought at a time. Your only job is to let it go. That's it. So that is intuitive insight and the end of conditioning. Those are the two aspects of spirituality. Okay, someone new is here. Let's speak to Ashram.

I used to listen to you previous year a lot of times. I have listened. So I was not listening this year and just suddenly I just wanted to come and just raise hands. I don't know then did I came here, I don't know. Yeah, I just wanted to be here to show myself, that's it.

So let's see if we can meet what we've been saying together now. You're hearing these words, isn't it?

Yes, yes. That one that is aware of the hearing of these words, can that one be perceived? It's just everything is perceived, that's it. Everything. My nervousness and answer is coming by itself. Yeah, you're saying, I'm saying. Okay, energy comes, fear energy comes. Yeah, energy comes and is I. I am vibration, calm is... it's just there and then the things, story and...

Very good. So if all this can be perceived and the I... you see, you said very beautifully that even the primordial vibration of I-amness, you see, you are aware of. You are not reporting from second-hand information or from a book. You are speaking pretty live. You speak life. You are saying that even this vibration, 'I am aware of it.' So that I which is aware even of this vibration, you see, can that be perceived?

No, it cannot be perceived. It is just, it is just, it is always present. Always just like that.

Yes, yes, yes. There you go. Always just like that. Always just like that. And this we have, we can say only because we have to communicate in some way. You're in a way pointing to what your direct insight is. So I'm enjoying that conversation. So this I is you, isn't it? Is there any doubt about that?

No. So no quality except the... we may say that it is aware. It's just seeing.

Vibration, you see, can that be perceived? No, it cannot be perceived. It is just, it is just, it is always present, always just like that. Yes, yes, yes, there you go. Always just like that, always just like that. And this we have, we can say only because we have to communicate in some way. You're, you're in a way pointing to what your direct insight is, so I'm enjoying that conversation. So this 'I' is you, isn't it? Is there any doubt about that? No. So no quality except the, we may say that it is aware. It's just seeingness, just knowingness. Yes, nothing else. Transparent, transparent. Yes, yes. Now that one, what is happening to that one? Nothing. Just seeing, just seeing. Nothing happens. You cannot even know it is there. Yes, whatever is there, it is perceived. Everything merged there and there starts from there. Everything appear in there, merge in there, like that's it. And even this is just communication, isn't it? Because it's not actually like that, like that. No, not exactly, not actually exactly that. But you only have to use some words to say, you see, how to explain a process which is beyond time and space? Because a language is constructed only for time and space. So we have to use things like that where we say it emerges out of it, dissolves back into, but all of this is just language. And we use that to somewhat point to the directness of the insight that we are having, isn't it? Yeah, which is empty of even these constructs. This one, even these constructs.

So now, if we did not use consciousness's ability to identify, you see, which is the ability it uses in the combination of attention and belief, then could you suffer? Could you have any trouble? Could you have any misidentification? Or could you be grasping for something? Could you have a lack of something? What is your insight about that?

This will be just nothing, just like empty, empty room. That's it. Uh, but when the energy comes, energy sometimes it's not mine, like in the form of thought this comes. So in the form of maybe just energy, or I have fear of losing someone which I love. All right, I have fear energy. It comes and just play around and just leave the room after a few minutes. But if you, yeah, sometime identification happens by itself, like it's in the energy. It's not in the form of thoughts, in the energy itself it's there, like subconsciously. Yes, yes. So we cannot do anything for it. Seems we cannot do anything. You just, just only way is to just be, observe, I think, what I just...

Yes, yes, let's look at this deeply today. This is very important. So, uh, you say that what will happen sometimes is that the identification happens energetically where, where I actually can't do anything about that. Now this 'I' is which one? Is it the one that we have noticed just now, we have recognized just now, which is untouched by all of this? Whether it is energy or whether it is empty space, that one remains untouched. Then we, we call the sense of being as 'I', see? We say this, this is also 'I'. I woke up, I am here. So we use that. 'I am' also is 'I'. Now this 'I am' is what we also fondly call God, consciousness, all there is, you see. Now this 'I am', from your observation, see if you can notice if it can be forced into identification without its permission.

You mean the real I am? The real I am, yes. The real I am is not possible. It's just, just looking, just... but the form, the problem sometimes arises when body...

We'll come to that. So let's go really slowly so we deconstruct this, because I know many of them here will have this kind of question and I've been asked this many times over the last few years, you know. So you said beautifully, the real I am cannot be forced, just being. And then in the light of being, if I may paraphrase to what you said, in the light of being all these experiences are perceived. So it is unthinkable, unimaginable that this I am-ness could be held on stage by some energy or some thought or whatever may appear for the real I am. Now we've already said the real I am. Right now there is no other false I am that is actually there. There is no, the false I am doesn't actually exist. It is just a belief in the real I am itself.

So now you may imagine or believe yourself to be something, something else, and you as consciousness has full, full capability, full power to do that, you see. So you may imagine the existence of something and make it seem real with the power of your identification and belief, but in that you can never be in reality another, anything other than this real I am, see? So you may imagine yourself to be something which is tiny or small so that an energy can seem meaningful or strong enough for it, that you encounter something which is so large that is, that is like a irresistible force that you have no choice. So, but that is, that we are somewhere inserting something which is limited because no energy is unlimited. So for something to be strong or something to be so powerful that it forces us to be a certain way or to identify, then that must be strong enough to make consciousness bend to its will, you see? And that cannot happen. That cannot happen.

So like Guruji said one time very beautifully, he said nothing in the world has inherent meaning, okay? Nothing in the world has inherent meaning. Everything is the perspective that we bring to it. So, so the mind plays this trump card, and you can observe with me and I'm open, yeah? So the mind plays this trump card and it says, all these masters, all these masters... Bhagavan said if you have to make one choice, make that choice of not entering the stream of your thoughts. Then Papaji said keep quiet, don't identify for one moment, keep quiet, you see? So again saying don't believe your power. And Guruji says don't identify, don't add anything, let these thoughts come and go, you don't identify, you... and then I keep saying don't believe the next thought, don't believe your next thought, be open and empty, let go, all these things.

So the mind says, okay, now all these people are after these thoughts, but they don't speak about energy. They don't speak about energy. And your problem actually is energetic because this energy comes, you know, sometimes and it is so big you can't, you don't have a choice, you have to believe it. But what you have to notice in this is what is it calling you in that? Yeah? The one that doesn't have a choice and has to go along is which one? The false has never existed. No, you said yourself, the real 'I', nothing has happened. The real I am-ness, nothing has happened. False by definition never existed. So who is the one that is falling victim to this energy?

It's so weird. After energy this thought comes, 'Oh, I'm feeling this energy, I'm feeling... uh, I don't like this.' Like definitely there's so strong energy in everyone, but then thought comes after it, just after a second and then stop, and then again after a few seconds thought comes and then this is the belief that I am.

Yes, so it uses that appearance of perception, sensation, whatever you may call it, to say that this is how I can insert this perception in the narrative of the false one, see? And once it's able to insert it in the narrative of the non-existent one, you see, in the protagonist of the story, the protagonist of the story which is the central character of, of the ego, what is called the ego, you see? Then the minute it's able to insert it, then it can use this sort of vibration and say, 'Okay, this is what this is. This is fear.' This sometimes will say this is fear, sometimes they say that is fear, sometimes this is, this is excitement, you see? Sometimes you will say just enthusiasm based on the narrative it wants to build, you see? It can color the meaning of what is appearing. That's why Guruji's words are so potent where he says nothing in this universe has inherent meaning, it's the meaning that we give to it. And the way that we give to it is through interpretation, is through judgment.

So you have to experiment for me and see if any shakiness, any energy, anything that you may call a contraction, next sorry, contraction, expansion, any of this, you see, can, can shape your reality, your true being in any way if you're just here, just, just here.

No, nothing. What option? But you have like, what is the if-ness in that unless I have interest in that? Like for example, if I have desire to maybe some just desire, maybe I don't want it to happen, oh, but then it starts to comes, new stories to intercoms.

So in the pool of conditioning, in the pool of conditioning, there are aspects we may have nurtured and there are aspects that we may have neglected. The aspects that we have nurtured is what we call interest, you see. So for you something may be of interest like, uh, you, you may be interested in hearing this man right now, but if you talk to your, to talk to your friends and family they will say my name, you know, nobody want to, and many of them may not want to hear, right? So, so, so you may say, but they are not interested and I am interested, you see. So what makes you interested? It is just that aspect which we have nurtured and then we may feel like there is some more meaning to be found over there, some more completion to be found over there. So we feel like, okay, I can get a concept, I can get the, the final piece of the jigsaw puzzle which will complete my meaning, meaning-making in that aspect, you see, that of that which we call interest.

So to put in a simpler way, interest is what we call we are open to an idea about something. Interest is when we are open to an idea about something, and lack of interest, you know, we are not open to an idea about that. It's easy to put simply. Now what makes us open to an idea, to a concept about something? What makes us open to that concept about something? Yeah, you get some sort of meaning, some sort of completion, some sort of finality, some sort of stability, some sort of resting, you know, whatever that final end goal may seem like, you see. So it may seem like I have climbed the, I almost got to the peak of the mountain, now I need the final step, the final push which will get me to finality. So it may seem like that is what that is, in a way deconstructing interest and looking at what we call the interest.

Now to discover yourself, to, to see that you are aware of all of these perceptions right now, do you need that jigsaw puzzle, that story, any idea of anything? It's pretty universal, isn't it? Yeah. So independent of all of them, independent of any aspect of conceptual understanding and meaning-making, your Self is shining. This is shining metaphorically. So, so, so remain in that apparency and don't look for any sort of conceptual end to this journey, because everybody here, you could have started, this could be your first time in spirituality or you could have been in various forms of satsang with various masters for 50 years. As long as you're trying to come to an intellectual completion or a conceptual completion, you will keep running on that treadmill. So I'm trying to get you off it while it doesn't seem like, uh, it's been very long, at least in this lifetime.

So running that treadmill is the job of the spiritual seeker, but the spiritual seeker is never the spiritual finder. It is when we let go of even the spiritual seeker that the recognition is seen to be always have been apparent. Now what you have to remember is don't give this one a return gift, you see? Because many of you will say, 'But it has done so much for me, it has got me into satsang, I am in satsang because I was seeking,' you see. It's done a job. Show it the pink slip and ask it to go. If you say, 'But, uh, you know, it was in this so that it could have bliss or it was in this so that it could never suffer,' all of that stuff, then you're pulling yourself back in that identification, see?

Now what everyone has to be careful about is I'm saying, saying the end of spiritual seeking, but you're not to pick up a fresh identity. Many people make that mistake, you see, that 'Oh, I'm no longer a seeker, I'm no longer a seeker.' Then you get to a fresh identity, either of that was the finder, 'I found, I found what I was looking for, I'm done, no more satsang for me, no inquiry and all this for amateurs.' That 'I found' is which one? The fake one. So then the other mode is, 'Oh no, I have discovered that actually be...'

What everyone has to be careful about is, I'm saying the end of spiritual seeking, but you're not to pick up a fresh identity. Many people make that mistake, you see, that 'Oh, I'm no longer a seeker, I'm no longer a seeker.' Then you get to a fresh identity, either of 'I was the finder, I found what I was looking for, I'm done. No more satsang for me, no inquiry, and all this is for amateurs.' That 'I found' is which one? The fake one. So then the other mode is, 'Oh no, I have discovered that actually before enlightenment, chopping wood, fetching water; after enlightenment, chopping wood, fetching water. So now I'm back to regular life. I will do my job, I will be a husband, I will do all of that. I'm no longer a seeker, my master told me don't be a seeker.' So, 'don't be a seeker anymore' doesn't mean you pick up a householder identity, or you pick up a sadhu identity, or you pick up some other identity. The master did not say that. They said the seeking identity is oppressing you and is still the ego, you see? It doesn't mean that you'll discard it and pick up a new one. So allow yourself to remain empty.

Some of these are classic Advaita. Many people that I met in my sangha where, you know, they've been coming to Guruji for many, many years, then they'll just be like, 'No, no, I'm no longer the seeker, I'm no longer...' but if that was not replaced by something else, then that would be absolutely fine.

But you... sorry, I have replaced it with 'I don't know.' I don't know, just this is coming in my mind. I don't know what, like this.

Yes, allow the mind not to know because it cannot know what we are talking about. So allow the mind, you know, welcome that 'I don't know' from the mind. See that even though 'I don't know,' you are aware of that perception of that thought. Are you ever lost about that? The mind is saying 'I don't know,' but who is aware of this mind? Who is aware of this? It's apparent. 'I am aware.' That's how we are reporting that 'my mind is saying.' So this 'I' can never be lost, yeah? And this 'I' can never be found in the mind. So let the mind chant 'I don't know, I don't know.' It's fine, it doesn't matter to us. Don't try to feed the mind some finality because it doesn't help.

Just sometimes the mind takes the weakest link in your subconscious somehow. Yeah, for example, maybe from a previous life or from childhood, like maybe of losing your parents or losing a loved one. It's just straight, and just fear starts to come up, or something else. Like for example, for me, I'm young, I don't have a job. I have studied a Master's degree, I don't have a job. For the last three years, for five years, I don't have a job. I don't know, it's just I'm just sitting, just looking outside, that's it. So many times your mind comes and says, 'Yeah, I don't have a job, somewhere everybody is doing this.' And then yeah, I just sometimes identify, sometimes I don't identify, and then it goes to space, just nothing. Just yeah, it takes the weakest link always.

It always picks up, you see. It's like Mooji uses another metaphor where he says the mind is auditioning for your attention and belief. Suppose you're going to America's Got Talent or something, then how will you plan what you're going to do on the stage? Suppose your job is to audition on America's Got Talent, how will you do it? See, suppose you have all the skills, all the skills you have, you can present any aspect of your skill, you see. Then how will you go for this audition?

Oh, I'm not so difficult, yeah, but something you have to present and you have all the skills. So what do you present?

What I would do, okay, so because I have all the skills, I will just see the past episodes and see what the judges like, you know, what the judges give most max points to, and I will present that in the audition. So that is the aspect we get most belief in, what we already call interest. So that weakest link, that aspect which we ourselves are a little doubtful about—'Am I messing up my life?'—and I speak from experience here because after meeting Guruji, for many months I also was just sitting. Just like some work was happening, but not so much, not as much as before meeting him. And the mind will sometimes play this card, either through the mind here or through the family saying, 'Are you depressed? Why aren't you working? What's happening?' These kind of things would come.

So it's natural for the mind to play these trump cards, and you're right that it picks up that which is the winning one. Which is the winning one? Winning means gets attention and belief. So that is winning for the mind. So because it can play and present any story, it has the skills to present any story, that which has won in the past, it keeps plotting, it keeps poking that one. Usually, of course, it tries to present newer narratives also, but we are generalizing and saying usually it does that. So don't be scared of this. It's been pure grace that life has given you the space to contemplate your reality without the pressures of too much going on in the seeming outside world. And if something is needed in this life, then it will provide the life energy and the opportunities. Everything will be just right. You don't have to worry about these things.

Yeah, just in this way I just wanted to... oh yeah, I don't know what's not... yeah, like confirmation. Like yeah, this is right. Just this being here, being in nowhere, this is fine?

It's okay. It's absolutely fine, absolutely fine. In fact, it's a great gift that you're giving yourself and life has given to you. It's very good. The mind will keep saying, 'Now what? Then what?' Don't worry.

Yeah, whatever people say. My mother, father... I have to be dependent on someone. Yeah, like these things. Whatever is actually needed, isn't it coming by itself? Actually, it's coming by itself, but without working. Just somebody gives, or somebody like a mom.

Just trust that grace. Trust will be given. So our needs are always taken care of. It's our greeds which sometimes don't show up, and sometimes our greeds also show up. So it's a very good deal we have.

Yeah, yeah. Just I'm saying just whatever comes in my mind because I think it feels like an easy way to remove trash. Like, what about the self-respect? Yeah, Indian parents, Indian mother, father, like Indian society. I'm living in Spain, yeah, just doing nothing. Yeah, what about... yeah, they're sad, continuously sad there. Sometimes she cried, my mother cried like that.

Yeah, all my blessings, all my love to your mom as well. And may she recognize—and you don't have to force her to do any of that—may her heart open up to recognize the great gift that her son is getting. And you be really happy for that. Whatever her parental expectations are and things, may they be modulated to such an extent that may they want the highest for their child.

Thank you. This sangha is so amazing. Yeah, it's just like a lot of times I wanted to come in this sangha but I didn't used to feel like coming, just you know, attend and putting the same thing in my mind. But it feels more right to just come for 10-15 minutes in between anything and just yeah, it just gives some energy in the right direction. Yeah, whichever is get lost.

Just don't now have any determinations about any of these, please. Be empty now. Sometimes you log in and not log out, sometimes you log out in 10-15 minutes. I'm not tracking any of this. Just follow your heart. You are absolutely fine.

Yeah, I just wanted to confirm, like, should I be empty, continue, or just... or I'm confused or really... yeah, like society says hard work or this, and it doesn't come. It just feels to be just empty, just like this sitting.

That's good. Thank you. And which is auspicious. Life provides the life energy to the body to allow it to move in battery. When it is not there, it is not there. You can't do anything about that, speaking in a worldly way of God. Thank you. Okay, let's go to Rikkers. Hello.

Hello, thank you so much. Thank you so much. I just could report something and please correct me and interrupt me and help me. Yeah, because before, I think when I thought that the awareness is apparent, I was often... it was often mixed up with an experience. It was really a subtle thing with an experience of emptiness or being beyond or something like this. And a few days ago there was somehow this click that there didn't come something new in it. It was just recognized that it was all the time here and it was totally no change in experience or perception. It was just that, 'Oh my god, it's so simple.' Yes, all the time here and it's nothing to do, nothing new even. And since then, of course, it's much more simple. And what I found out last days or even now, that it's just the thoughts and the belief in the thoughts that could somehow make problems or confuse it. So I don't know if it's right, but if I'm aware and then okay, the thoughts can play along and say, 'Yes, yes, you are aware, all good, okay, it's easy,' and then suddenly a change, the story changes, and then the thoughts say, 'Oh, is it really like this?' or perception suddenly changed more and then the thoughts say, 'Are you lost it?' or for example when identification of the person more comes.

Yes, I didn't say something about this before. Please, please. You said before that the idea you had sometimes is of an empty experience, you see, of that being awareness. Now, if you mean by that as if it is an empty room, you see, then many of us make this sort of error to feel like a dark empty room or some vast spaciousness, you see, which is actually spatial in nature. We feel like that is awareness. But actually, even in that what we may call an empty experience, there is still a perception. You may be perceiving darkness, you may be perceiving the absence of light. So that is not an empty experience.

So a truly empty experience is a non-phenomenal experience which is your experience, so-called experience of the Self. Non-phenomenal. Not light, not dark, not big, not small, no time, no space. Only the Self is like that. Now you are recognizing this. You are recognizing this, although the mind may keep presenting this imagery to you, you see, saying, 'Ah, the vastness,' because we have the experience of outer space and this kind of thing. So it presents these kind of imagery saying that okay, maybe we'll buy into that notion of awareness, that image as a notion of awareness or something like this. But we cannot actually imagine, you see, or perceive an empty experience, isn't it? Can you have an experience without a quality? That would be empty. Without an attribute. What is the experience without a quality?

Blank is also a quality, no?

Though blank is what? Blank may be like full white like a blank wall, a full black like outer space or something like that, you see, like a limbo or some idea like that, like an abyss or a limbo. But all of these are also quality. You can say black, white, light, big. What is an experience which is what it turns off? What is that which is beyond heat and cold, circumcised, all of these qualities? What is that? What is the experience of that? What is the experience of that? That is a truly empty experience. Our conceptual open and emptiness, like our inner open and emptiness, allow us to experience that empty, that empty. That's when you say, 'Okay, so are you aware now?' What can you say about it? How big is it? See, is it cold? Is it old? Is it young? I can't see things. If someone else was listening to you, then they may say, 'Then you have not found anything. How can you find something which has no quality?' You see what you do, isn't it? This 'I' is apparent to you, but it has no quality. Who's with me and who's not? You can say. So this empty experience is a beautiful term actually. Empty of all phenomena, which is not like a dark empty room. If that was it, to come to the discovery of awareness, we would make a dark room and say, 'Look, you know, come inside there, not a ray of light comes from anywhere, just look around, that is awareness.' So don't confuse that to be awareness. Who is aware of the perception of even that?

What you do, isn't it? This 'I' is apparent to you, but it has no quality. Who's with me and who's not? You can say so. This empty experience is a beautiful term, actually—empty of all phenomena—which is not like a dark, empty room. If that was it, to come to the discovery of awareness, we would make a dark room and say, 'Look, you know, come inside there. Not a ray of light comes from anywhere. Just look around. That is awareness.' So don't confuse that to be awareness. Who is aware of the perception of even that? What can we say about that one? You've said it is 'I,' you see. And that is very irritating for the mind, probably. It's probably very irritating to the mind. I see. Who is aware of the perception of this hand? Judgingly, you may say, 'I.' I can't deny it; I have to say 'I.' Sometimes you say, 'I don't know,' but even that you say, 'I.' 'I don't know.' It is 'I,' but I don't know who that is. You said it is 'I,' but I don't know who that is. Then how do you say it? You must be knowing who that is to call it 'I am.' So it's so naturally 'I' that you can't help it. So, absent of any experiential confirmation, any perceptual confirmation, any conceptual confirmation, it is available. And 'available' is too small a word.

Who is that one that is aware of hearing this voice? Who is that? Who is that? It's you, isn't it? The same one is aware of the sensations that we call body. Same one. Same one is aware of the perceptions that we call body, thought, imagination, memory—all these sensations. Same one. But that same one our head cannot know, and the seeker is basically that head trying to know. The head cannot know, and you cannot not know. Now, when you represent yourself as your head, you are seeking. But you cannot not know. Agreed that the head cannot know? Agreed on how many are still trying to squeeze it in their heads? What does that look like? No, nobody feels like... so nobody feels like 'I'm trying to squeeze it in my head.' But I'll give you an example of what that sounds like. When you say, 'I'm trying to understand. I'm trying to come to the final understanding.' How many are trying to come to the final understanding? It sounds very glamorous: final understanding. Anyone? Nobody, I think, right? Not going to happen. Not going to happen. It's not possible. Understanding is too small; 'final' to be... forget about it. How many of you are trying to get it all straightened up in your head? 'All straightened up in my head.' It's a few things. So it's not going to happen. Not going to happen. And you don't need to, because you can speak from your heart. You can express from your heart. So you don't need to get it all straight in the head. Do the masters sound all straight in the head? No master sounds all straightened. One minute they'll say, 'Left, left, left.' Next minute they'll say, 'Right, right, right.' Then next minute they say, 'Round, round, round.' Nothing is straight about any master, okay? No, it's like a koan, full of contradictions, full of confusion. And the head gets fully ready to be given up if the master is pointing strongly enough, you see. We're ready to give up on my head after some time.

So could I ask something? Yes. What I have is that, when the thoughts like the doubt thoughts come, and the thoughts that say, 'It's not there, you're on the wrong path,' and the mind who tries to kick me out, then awareness is somehow there, but it's somehow more difficult to see, and much more easy when the thoughts are saying, 'Yes, yes, yes, it worked.' And somehow like this. And that's why I can't really say that I am independent from the head sometimes. Somehow, it feels like it is some effort for some time to become.

It feels like some effort because if you have relied on one hand for all the work, you see, all the world for many lifetimes maybe, we relied on one hand to do everything. Then we feel like that's all there is. Then somebody comes and says, 'No, no, leave that. You don't have to put in all this hard work. Your being is very immense. All is already taken care of. Don't have to worry about any of this stuff.' Then you feel like, 'But what am I supposed to do with this hand? Is it nothing? Leave it? No, no, but okay, should I leave it to the hand? Should I leave it in my hand? But am I holding something in my hand?' So it all becomes so central, you see. Our conceptual conclusions become so central to us that we say, 'Okay, leave it. You're fine without it. You're doing just fine. Don't bother with it.' And in satsang, by the way, you're told that there's another hand which is actually... has been doing all the work anyway, which is the divine intelligence of intuitive insight. The Satguru presence has been doing all the work anyway. So see, see so effortlessly everything is happening. But then, 'Okay, but I can't see it from there.' This has become so central. So for some time, it will seem like effort. Like the switchover will seem like it is some effort. That's fine. And that's fine. It's natural, you know. So at least you notice that. That is very good.

Most of humanity believes the mind is the true representative of themselves. In fact, they may not feel like it's a voice at all at work. One time I was telling a friend many years ago that that is just all... 'What is the voice in your head saying?' So she said to me, 'You have voices in your head? There's something wrong with you.' Because that seems so natural that it's me. It's not the voice of the ego or the mind; you feel like that's me. So even to come to this point where you can notice that it's just a bundle of constructs, message constructs that we call the mind or the head—it's not my reality itself—is a great gift already.

Sometimes I feel like telling all of you that don't be so, you know, so meek in the sense that it's just a thought. It's a thought. You have God. The ego is just made up of thoughts, you know. God is your presence. God is your presence. Oh, the ego has its thoughts. God is your light. Conscious being is your light. What must you be? What is your location? What is your position? What is your life? These universes are like bubble gums for you. You blow them up, you enjoy them, then you spit them out. They are bubble gum for you. What must you be? God wakes up in your heart and goes to rest in your heart. So it is impossible that a tiny aspect of your being, which is just a bundle of thoughts, can ever produce something which can hold you by the neck and say, 'Come, follow me.' You have to, even if it is saying, 'I am not doing this. I'm your friend. I'm a nice guy. Don't believe Ananta. I'm not doing any of this. It's just energetic. You are suffering energetically.' Who is the 'you' that is suffering energetically? Who is the 'you' for whom you report that the mind is so strong? Who is 'you'?

There's a big difference. I am trying to find the words to talk about how magnificent you are. The mind is telling you, 'Nah, all this is poetry. You're just little old me. All these are just poetic motions. It's not true.' That's what the mind is saying. And it paints you as this tiny object, a grain of sand which has no reality. It's just a dream between birth and death. It paints you as that. What is it saying? It is saying that, 'Oh, what the sages have told you about yourself is all just beautiful poetry. You are actually this. So first you sort out this stuff, then we can talk about birth of universes in your heart and all that later.' See, don't fall for these tricks. Meet yourself right now as your reality. Everything else will be taken care of. Meeting your reality as what you are is not denial; it is acceptance. To see yourself as something that you are not is to give power and belief to something that you are not. It's demands. So don't inquire with the preconceived notion of a 'somebody' inquiring, because your insight and your discovery then you will keep applying to this stuff, this bunch of food. It is not the body which is in the exploration or finding itself. The body is just the body. It's fine. You don't have to equate everything that you're finding as if you, the body, are finding something.

Allow yourself to be unlocatable in this world. Allow yourself to be unlocatable in this universe. Have we gone like too much now? Too much? Can you allow yourself to be without a reference, without a location? That's it. That's freedom. You will perceive sensations, but is that perception inherently loaded with the notion of 'me'? My submission to all of you is that in the pure perception of those sensations, you are not identifying as somebody with the location. So allow the sensations to play out. You have no need for them to start or to stop. They don't have a conclusion about what you are. There it is: movements on the screen of consciousness. Good. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you.

I have been reading to various masters and met Guruji also in 2016. So and this journey is continuing. And earlier I thought that through some meditation techniques I will be able to reach that space. Then after hearing Guruji and other masters like Ramana, Papaji, I came to know that I was duping myself. That thing is very something very subtle and deep. So this journey in which I feel very thirsty for this attainment of things, and now after this, whenever I meet some master, I hear satsang like I'm still hearing you, I reach to a place unknown to me. I feel that silence. I feel that something is apart from me. But most of the time I feel plugged in this world outside sensation, my world, I can say my bubble. When I meet people, persons, different personalities, I always try to unplug myself and to touch that thing. But when I am in the zone of masters, I automatically come to that place. This success I cannot hold off it, but it's such a subtle thing that I can ultimately feel that there is something apart from this body and something is there, so relaxing, so peaceful. When I hear Guruji and other masters, when Papaji's just his laugh takes to that place. But when I go to my work, when I go to places, I meet persons, I feel myself plugged in that.

So my question is, it's very difficult now coming because I want to come out of this, but I don't know at that time how to step on. What should be the symbol of that time which I can use? I can remember some symbol or something so that I can come to that space very easily. I lose that when I move outside. I try, I remember, and then yesterday night I was in a party and I was seeing my friends, all were in the dancing, and I see that these bodies will be gone after 50 years, maybe they are young now. But how can I, within those conditions, how can we stay in that innocence? We can say that's my question. That is the how to take this journey in a very impersonal way. That means actually I want to resign from this name and form, actually, but I'm not getting a way out of it. I have read because I read Buddha for last three days. There is one book, 'Conquest of Suffering' by Dr. P.J. Saher. When I read that, the 'Conquest of Suffering' by P.J. Saher, and then for last three days in the library I was just studying that book. There are three chapters only, and whenever I read that book, whole day in the library I was feeling that peace, that it's like a blanket over me. I cannot leave that studying, studying that book because always it's coming like... and it is such a theoretical book, it's no diagram, nothing is there, but that peace always encompasses me. Yes, I can feel and I want to be in that peace, actually. That's when P.J. is saying that there is suffering, you should understand there is something you should do, you should come out of this body sensation, pleasures. What is desire? How to come? And then I feel what every master is saying that thing. So they must be right, I am always wrong and they must be true because from Nanak everyone is saying this thing, same thing. You are all saying same thing. So how to come to that? So there I am perplexed. That is my only query. And very much thank you for everything you have given me. Thank you very much. Thank you.

Wonderful, wonderful start to our interactions. Very nice. I enjoyed hearing you very much. So let's...

To come and then I feel what is every master is saying that thing, so they must be wrong? I am always wrong and they must be true because from Nanak, everyone is saying this same thing. You are all saying the same thing. So how to come to that? So there I am perplexed. That is my only query and very much thank you for everything you have given me. Thank you very much.

Thank you. Wonderful, wonderful start to our interactions. Very nice. I enjoyed hearing you very much. So let's just start in a very simple and innocent way. You made this very beautiful report and I could resonate with many parts of that report as well. You mentioned a few things saying, "When I go there, when I go here, when I go to a party or when I go to satsang," you see? Then sometimes you also said, "I wonder whether I am right or I wonder whether they are right." And they must be right because they are gurus, they are sages; I am just little old me, you know, so how can I be right? So you mentioned this "I" in a few different perspectives. Now, is that "I" something that you're taking yourself to be seriously, or just to report or to present the question you're using that, no?

Actually, I'm saying from just for reporting.

So now, if that "I" is just for reporting to set some context to the conversation, what can you say about the true "I"? What do I actually... not definable. Like if I leave this, then I reach there, actually.

Yes.

So why not leave it? What is the benefit to not leaving it?

Yes, means actually I have to interact in this world, that's why maybe. Or I have a habit of slugging here so long that here...

So something from the mind will present that by keeping this "I," I'm still getting some value. Like without this, you will be like a vegetable. Your friend will want to talk to you, but all "blah blah blah" will come out of your mouth because without mind you cannot communicate, no? And yet so many come to satsang where the instrument is sharing that all these words are not coming from the mind; they're coming from the heart or from intuition, you see? All the masters have said this. So apparently communication can happen from a different intelligence. It doesn't need this kind of egoic separation to be believed in, you see? It doesn't have to be the voice which presents the ideas of coming and going and right and wrong for communication to happen, you see? So try it this way. Try it now this way. Take your time. I have all the time in the world for these kind of experiments. If nothing is coming, we have time, don't worry. But speak only from the heart. Don't speak from the head.

It comes with... it comes with a mix of both, actually.

If it is mixed, you let it go. It's okay. We have time. There's no worry. The mind will put us in a rush. The mind will say, "Say something. How many people are watching? How can you just sit quietly?" But sit quietly. Bhagavan sat quietly for long, long periods of time. You will find yourself untroubled. At least that is the biggest gift you can give to yourself. Unless you get involved in the circus of the mind, you cannot trouble yourself. Unless you buy into its narratives of coming and going, of time and space, of right and wrong, you see, you cannot trouble yourself of even seeking and finding. I mean, that is a very oppressive narrative. And imagine the construct of this whole game. All this spirituality is concentrated on what we're seeking. Something... they're all seeking. What are you seeking?

Ourselves.

Even to say "I am seeking myself," you're confirming yourself. So it's like really like that whole old metaphor of a dog chasing his tail. We made a movement out of that like spiritual spirituality. Where did you lose yourself? Have you lost yourself to now be finding yourself, no? And if you are finding yourself, then there are two of you: one is finding yourself and the other will be found. It's full absurdity, you see? It's the most absurd sort of seeking. So, but all of this is in a tiny aspect of your being called the mind. Now you may call it mind, intellect, if you want. Your mind with all its notions and the intellect with all its categories and judgments and rights and wrongs. But besides that, what is left of you?

Peaceful peace.

You is now... the seeker is the insistence that "I will bring peace to that which can never be." The seeker is the insistence that "The rest of me is peaceful, but I have to bring peace to that which is the war zone anyway." It is designed to be the war zone. It is the play of opposites, you see? And we are trying to make it all coherent and sensible. It is designed to play as if it is opposites. Now we are trying to make it all straightforward, sensible. That's why words of spirituality all sound round. Now, it is a design to push you out of this construct of just the mind, because in the mind you're saying you want everything all structured, but its very design is full of opposition. So there is nothing of value that you will lose if you stop presenting yourself or taking what the mind is presenting about you to be true. Now where is the struggle? Where is the finding? Where is the...

It's very peaceful now.

Is this peaceful... because I know the mind will present these kind of notions to you. And sometimes, is this peaceful something that you are experiencing in time? Is it something which you're experiencing phenomenally in time, or is it the substratum of everything that appears, which is always there?

It's always, always there.

So can you leave it? Can you leave this aside? If the mind will tell you it went away after satsang, when talking with them it was there but it will... "How do I keep this?" Or it will say, "It went away." Can it go away?

It can flow. It can seem like it went away if you take the mind's representations to be true again. If you enter the war zone and participate in the playground of the fight, then it will seem like things got violent again. The peace seems to be lost, except if I am sitting in the heart.

Exactly. That heart is the presence of all the masters which you mentioned, which you look up to. All are there. That is only the one heart.

I think I give more importance sometimes to the upper story of my mind and got lost in it.

Yes, so just stop that. Stop doing that. You spotted it correctly. But as consciousness, it is completely in your power to stop that. Otherwise, all the masters would not have told us to stop it.

Yes, I will practice and report.

Very beautiful for the first interaction. And you're always welcome to come, you know, come up and share your report. Sometimes the mind will stop you and say, "No, no, no, I'm fine," these kind of things. So just smell for yourself. Just smell for yourselves. Like, don't feel that you have to do this by yourself or something like that. Sometimes the mind presents these ideas also: "Okay, now you can't..." either that you can't keep going to ask, or it will say, "No, no, now he's given me the thing, now the rest I have to do on my own." It plays all these various tricks to get back to some dominant position. So don't buy into that. Very naturally in your heart, if you feel like coming up, you are welcome to put up your hand. Sorry, old school people like me still say "darling" for a while. Hello.

No idea. I don't have something planned to say, but you told me to come up and a few times maybe I thought, "No," what you said, like the mind is saying, "No, I'm okay." So I did. And then I was okay, and then in between maybe I haven't been. But yeah, just come up ready.

So what we've been talking about today in terms of the non-phenomenal experience, is that becoming quite apparent now?

Yeah, definitely. Yeah, there's been a... there was like one particular example of something of some situation where it was really unpleasant, very real, like feeling, thought, everything. And then some... in that moment was just that even when something is designed, because you've been saying this so many times about it's designed to feel real, it's meant to feel real, just stay with something else. Like stay calm and yeah, I don't know, just somehow it was just... it passed. And I felt like an inner strength in some way that I can... you can see everything. It considers it's all observed. So no matter how unpleasant or how real it feels, you can see it.

Yeah, I can see. I can see everything. So maybe that's been like... these sticks seem to jump around a bit sometimes, but this one just came up quite naturally at that point. Even if sometimes it's like there's attention's gone with before and... but you can see everything. I can see that attention's gone or then and then it's calm. And so I'm not getting so many reactions of like, "Oh, there's... you listen to this thought, you believe..." or "I..." and then it starts to go into panicking and like this. And yeah, there's less because as you were talking about and from the conversations too, you can see everything.

Yes. And that "you" which sees everything, can that be seen? I'm just... I'm not negating anything that you've said. I'm just adding on more.

Yeah, because it... it's a thought as well, often. It's "you can see everything," like...

Yes, yes. But that "you," that "you" which sees everything, that is perceiving now, can that be perceived? I just want to make it clear again that I'm saying that you're doing very well. You're doing very well. I'm just seeing if we can walk together to one more step further.

Now I feel like in a moment I'm going to like try to use the mind or something. You can see this too, but then don't rest on like, "Oh, you can see this too." Okay, further back. Yes, I'm not going... now it feels like a block, but then I can see a block.

Yes. Okay, very good. So let me see if I can help you with this a little bit. Now the thing is that this "I" which is aware of all perception itself cannot be seen. It cannot be seen. It sees everything, but it itself, it cannot be seen as if it is sight. Like when we see things through sight, we hear things through hearing, all these modes of perception do not apply to that. Then how do you know it is you if you can't see it? You just know it in what I would call the heart. Just know it intuitively. So this reality of what you are is not available as sight and is not available as thought, no matter how hard we try to think about it. And yet it is so naturally known in the heart that I am seeing all of this. See, if I told you it's not you, it's Sriracha who's seeing all this—and I'm talking about not Lord Ram, I'm talking about your husband—she and that is just so clear. Now in that same place, although it's not really a place, where this is so clear, the rest of our life can be run from there, which only means that we don't need to make thought-based conclusions about anything which we want to give reality to. Don't need to make thought-based conclusions to anything. Conclusion means we're giving reality to something or belief to something. So that's why I keep asking: are you aware now?

Yeah, yes.

Now that space, that place where it is apparent that you are aware, it is you that is aware. You can build a house there. Don't build the house anywhere else.

Yeah, listen, it's not possible anywhere else anyway because I maybe said before, even though there's still this wanting to listen to this or to the mind's opinion and yeah, it's just all a mess anyway. Anything will start off seemingly like innocent or normal and it will distort. So anyway, if this is what's happening, it's happening like this. I'm not being given a choice in a way. It's not the most pleasant at times, but it seems this is the way it's going here. So what? I can't do anything else. I don't want to really anyway. It's just habit.

So happy to hear you today sound so much deeply steeped in this heart inside. Sounds so deeply immersed in this heart inside. Very, very happy. This satsang has been very, very, very nice as well because I remember when you first came and I don't know whether you said this to me or just an impression I got, it was like you enjoyed being in the presence of satsang but what was being shared in satsang was kind of alien. But now the pointers are seeming a little more alive.

Anyway, it's just habit. So happy to hear you today. You sound so deeply steeped in this heart inside. Very, very happy. This satsang has been very, very, very nice as well because I remember when you first came—and I don't know whether you said this to me or just an impression I got—it was like you enjoyed being in the presence of satsang, but what was being shared in satsang was kind of alien. Yeah? But now the pointers are seeming a little more alive. Yeah.

Yeah, thank you. Namaste. You know, I just wanted to check in that there wasn't a kind of a subtle sense of self hanging out because as you bring up the 'I' and you point to the 'I', what comes here, just the language in the sense, is 'this'. Yes, this is here. It doesn't come as 'I' and I just wanted to check in on that. Sometimes it feels more natural to say like that.

Isn't it too natural to say like that? Because the 'I' has been the villain of the story in the spiritual story for so long that it seems like, 'No, no, this is not that I, this is this.' And yet, if I were to force you and say, 'But who is aware of this?' so you may say, you may actually say, 'This is aware.' It's okay, you see. As if this is aware of this. And then I say, 'Okay, but how does it come to you then? And why is it relevant to you?'

The feeling is again just like here-ness, but not an 'I'. I just don't know if that's like a resistant thing or just a... it could have become like a conceptual block or something. So let's really look at this.

If it's natural, we leave it at that. There's no trouble, it's fine, you know. So I'm just wondering whether there is an aversion to 'I'. Like it's like it's here, but you are not here. Like this is here, but you are not. Is it like that?

No, I'm here.

You are where? Where else is there? There's nowhere to go. I mean, you are here distinct from this or hereness? Are you here distinct or different from this, this isness, hereness, whatever term may seem natural? Are you different from that in some way?

No, you're not. So how does it matter if you use a synonym if there's no distinction? It's like saying... you just pushed something over when that question came. Like a bit of a block gets created in spiritual...

Yeah, and it feels really like... yeah. And again, just to clarify to everyone, we are not talking about how we express ourselves. That can be completely fine. We can say this hereness, isness, awareness, knowingness, whatever. We can use any of these words. But I'm glad Shradha came up because she noticed that there's something there. There's something there which is a sort of resisting saying it is 'I' that is aware. Who is aware of these perceptions? Like, but because the 'I' is much maligned maybe sometimes in spirituality, or we've used it for some other aspect of ourselves, not the fullness of ourselves, therefore it may seem like it is 'this' or it is 'here' but not 'I'. See? So good you spotted this sort of block and allowed this conversation to happen in this field. Thank you.

Everything is sort of flowing in a very beautiful way now. Something just went... yeah, thank you.

Maybe this is even more important than what we just discussed. Allow yourself to be conceptually full of rubbish because concepts can only be full of rubbish. It doesn't matter. Everything I say is utter nonsense. It does not stand up to any standard of truth whatsoever, but it's just a way of pointing to that. So don't be hard on yourself or don't try to conclude too much like that. Don't try to conclude whether it is this or that or any of this. Yes, your head will always be full of consciousness. So your question could actually mean, 'Am I talking about the right insight? Am I looking correctly? Am I recognizing correctly?' But many times we are asking, 'Am I saying this right?' Now, it doesn't matter to me at all if you're saying it right or wrong. Doesn't matter as long as you're looking right. As long as you're looking non-phenomenally, what you say about that, how you express it, doesn't really matter. Sometimes I might dig in to just ensure that you're looking in the right way, you're looking sightlessly. If you can see like that, then I'm fine. Then you could say, 'I found a pink antelope which was jumping ten miles in every week.' But if there's something behind those which is trying to point to something—either a desire or an aversion or a feeling of wanting to be right or avoiding being wrong or something like that—then I may want to look at that and clean up that for you a bit. Just be wrong. Because this is somewhat like also school conditioning that we can have, that 'Have I got the right answer finally? Have I got the answer? What is the best way to express this that I have discovered? Is it this or is it this?' Moment to moment it could be different. Sometimes you say 'I' is aware, sometimes you say 'this here' is best. Neither of those... then those sounds in themselves don't mean anything.

The question truly rose from the experience and totally concepts games have happened here for lifetimes. So I appreciate both pointings. Yeah.

Yes, I have no doubt about your insight that the mind wants to play the subtle games. Thank you. Okay, may I go to Christopher? Hello.

Oh my god, there are very strong forces playing and my question is how to observe without going into it? I mean, the whole thought thing was about this, but it still plays out very strongly and there are desires and jealousy and it's in the outer world. It's very strongly coming.

Yeah, okay. So let's see if we can give you some pointers to help with things. Now, let's break it down to all the things that are happening, okay? So when there is a sensation, then we can say that there is a sensation. When there is a thought that comes which tries to claim ownership over the sensation and say the sensation is desire, then let's notice that thought also. It says, 'Ah,' the thought also comes and says that. So let's really bring our looking into very fine-tuned sort of looking thing so the mind doesn't create this fog of war. You know, this fog of war, everything seems to get a bit blurry. There are emotions, there are thoughts, there's memories, there's imagination, there is dreams, there's everything. Then we feel like, 'Oh,' you see, like that. Let's really break it down and see, okay, what all is actually here? Is there some shakiness emotionally? Some vibration? Some sensation? So just keep describing it to me. I don't know if you've heard me say this before: don't explain what it means. Don't explain what it means. Just describe your experience exactly how you are experiencing it as simply as possible.

There is a pain in the heart. Yes, it's like a pain experience in the heart. Okay. And there it is also like in the throat. This is it. It's like there's also pain in the throat. There's a constriction or a pain in the throat.

There's some pain in the heart and some constriction or pain in the throat as well. Very good. This is exactly what I wanted you to do. Just keep looking like this.

And it's like there is always an end controller who tries to see everything.

Now, one sec. Now this part, let's break this down even further. What exactly are you perceiving right now when you say 'controller'?

It's like the mind tries to take the position of the Self to see everything.

Very good. Now break it down even further. Like, what is your experience of the mind? Is it as a thought?

It's an 'I'.

What experience? What is your experience of this 'I' thought?

It wants to hold the position.

No, but what is your perception of this 'I' thought? What is your experience of it? I don't exactly know what you... just like you said that there is a pain sensation in the heart region, there is a constriction in the throat region. After that, what you described, just describe it in the same way. What is the exact phenomenal experience of that?

It's like this 'I' wants a certain outcome.

That is an explanation of what it wants. What are you seeing right now? Are you seeing this 'I' as a body, as somebody, as a shape of some sort, you know, with its mouth saying 'I want this'? What is the exact experience? Break it down into as small as possible.

It's a strong feeling.

A feeling which is experienced where? Which aspect does it... what is the experience of the feeling? Is it like a vibrating sensation or a constriction? What is that?

It's like the whole... it's like I'm paralyzed.

But that is what is the outcome of it. But can you describe it itself? Like, what is it that you are experiencing? What is the taste of it?

Like there is a strong sensation in the body, like it's shaking. Yeah, it's very, very...

So this is what I wanted. So there's a pain in the heart, there's a constriction in the throat, and there's like a shakiness in the body or shaking experience in the body. Okay. Okay, very good. Then what else? And you don't have to rush to find anything else. If it is this, then stay in the perception of this without any judgment about what any of these three mean. Are you able to follow what I'm saying? This is important for all of us, yeah, because we feel like we suffer from these things. Okay, I'm just pointing you a way where you can experience the taste of these and you tell me whether it is just being tasted or there is suffering involved. So just allow yourself to just effortlessly perceive all of these perceptions without judging them to be good or bad, without judging whether they should come or go. No mental involvement at all. Just enough full acceptance, full perceiving of whatever is being perceived.

It's much lighter now. Unburdened by our narratives, everything is lighter.

Everything is lighter. But keep going like that. Stay in your pure perception. That is the highest healing. If there is healing needed in the world, there is no higher healing possible than just this pure perception, which means meeting absent of judgment. Meeting without judgment. You don't have to wait for it to vanish from nothing. You're just perceiving effortlessly.

And then there are some... something... sometimes I can hear a voice saying something, and this 'I' also should only...

Don't get involved in whether the voice is saying right things, wrong things, good things, bad things. Don't judge anything at all. Just perceive this.

Am I perceiving from the right position?

You cannot perceive from the wrong position. Don't worry. Don't worry about any of them. Even this you don't have to judge. The one last thing I have to say is that in this just perceiving or pure perception, is it not apparent to you that you are beyond your perceptions? Without having to think about it, is it recognized that you are just one of your perceptions, or is it apparent that you're beyond these perceptions? So my submission again, and I want you all to just play with this, experiment with this. My submission to all of you is that in this pure perception, in this open perception, just perceiving the reality of yourself primarily as the pure witnessing, the pure awareness of all this that comes and goes, is fully apparent and available. The intellect may try to categorize and say, 'No, these perceptions are you and the other perceptions are not you, they are other or the world.' But in the perception itself, no such distinction is made. It may also categorize saying, 'These are more intimate, that is less intimate, this is closer, that is farther.' But all of these are just conceptual categories. There is no distance in your being. It may actually also say, 'This is bigger, this is stronger, and this is weaker, milder.' But such levels don't exist actually in your game. These are all just conceptual categories for that which is all there is, all-pervasive, all-powerful. Nothing is either this or that or too much or too little. Okay, I feel like I'm really... this instrument is done for today. So I apologize to those who raised their hands that I'm not able to come to them. Maybe some energy will come, the new one or anyone. I was going to play something, but...

In truth, these levels don't exist actually. In your game, these are all just conceptual categories for that which is all there is, all progressive, all-powerful. Nothing is either this or that, or too much or too little. Okay, I feel like I'm really... this instrument is done for today. So I apologize to those who raised their hands that I'm not able to come to them. Maybe some energy will come. The new one or anyone... I was going to play something but then I realized...

Thank you all so much for being in satsang. Thank you.