Make No Reference to 'I' - 14th January 2019
Saar (Essence)
Ananta guides seekers to abandon all conceptual notions of the self, both personal and absolute. He emphasizes that truth is not found through effort or specific states, but by ceasing to believe the mind's representations of 'I'.
Make no reference to 'I', either absolute or personal.
The truth is not found; it is only that the false has to be let go of.
The problem is unsolvable from the level of the mind, but for you, it is already done.
intimate
Transcript
This transcript is auto-generated and may contain errors.
Is the attempt to own it or the attempt to stand aloof about two sides of the same coin? Ideas we're dancing with: ideas of getting them, not getting, of being in the state and losing the state. If you forgot all this education—that this is good, this is bad, this is true, this is false, this was right, this is wrong, I had it, I lost it—it is not original to you. And it is not about these words. If these words are just taken as words, then they are complete nonsense. If there is a point to these words, it is only to back all notions out; only to back every notion out of you, including the notion of backing itself.
How do you consider yourself to be in time and space? You don't have to leave time and space. Tell me how you consider yourself to be in time and space. To think about it, and what is that? What is the basis of all of this fruitless thinking? To try it on. If you decide 'I have to leave the I-thought,' then it is not leaving that at all, you see. If you say, 'Now that I see that struggle is that I have to leave the I-thought,' that is not it. Something more immediate, more spontaneous. My Dalit 'I-thought' means: make no reference to 'I', either absolute or personal. Make no reference to 'I', either absolute or personal. And who's doing it? Who's making no reference? Nobody. That is the point. We're not making a reference to even 'nobody' because we can have an idea of what 'nobody' is, and it is still the reference.
So it can sound very complicated, but it is simpler than how it sounds. So we try to solve it like this, but in actuality, it is simpler. Before you hear the clip, if you find yourself taking a position like that or like this, is it smart? Given that it can become very subtle like this, where even these can be positions: 'I have to hold my attention' or 'I have to let go of my attention.' Nothing. It doesn't have to be this way. That we always is on the concept of 'is' can go.
If you forgot that this body has a nose, for example—you forgot that the body has a nose—then you could use your hand to confirm, 'Oh, so that is it.' And you move your attention to its own source and see where it comes from. Okay, but after you see that the nose is still there, you have to keep holding it? About it as the nose? So then abidance must only mean that you don't pick up the notion that 'I lost my nose' because we checked, checked again, checked again, check, check, check. No, it is clear. So attention plays that function like this.
But to be the Self does not mean that I have to keep my attention only in the unchanging reality, because if that is how the Self wanted to experience itself, the waking state would not come in the first place. So this world is a play of attention and that's okay. It has nothing to do with myself. If it seemed that I forgot who I am, then it is useful to check. But coming to the truth is not a remaining in the withdrawal of attention or something like that. Is it attention this way, that way? It doesn't matter what is here naturally.
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You see, Guruji, does it look like he is his life and then he is talking? No, he's very much—attention is very much with all of this as well, but the Self is not forgotten. It doesn't need to be remembered in this way. When my attention is on my thoughts, for instance, it seems that the sterile field... cutting the appearance of thoughts? Not in the mirror of appearance of thoughts. It isn't. Yes, the belief is the veil. It's not... see, if it was when attention is fully withdrawn, then there is no question of any appearance, including thoughts. So all appearance means that attention is on that. That is what we call appearance anyway.
So just by the mere appearance of thoughts, it doesn't matter. It is when I take myself to be what the thought is referring to me as. That is the I-thought: that I am that which the thought is representing. You see, the I-thought is the thought that 'I' is being represented through this energy construct. That is the veil. And if you take yourself to be that, just like if you take yourself to be anything at this moment, if you give belief to it, then even this identity which you feel like it's so strong, you see, you will start to lose them. It won't seem as tangible.
So it is not in the appearing of these appearances, but in our taking our thoughts to be valid representations of who we are. As long as the thought claims to represent 'I', that is the I-thought. You see, something which you think is true about yourself, that is 'I', represents an 'I' which just isn't there. So when we lose that reference, the truth is here. That's why I started Satsang anyway saying that it is not that the truth has to be found; it is only that the false has to be let go of. What is the false? Primary falsity is in this I-thought, the limited notion of self.
It is only in the picking up of belief it can seem like the whole tree came back. The I-thought is harmlessly detected. In one condition, all the conditions are inherent. You cannot leave it to zero. You say, 'All things are perfect, all is the Unborn, but let me give birth to just this and I'll still keep the Unborn.' You see, it doesn't work like that. If the I-thought is there, I can hang on with this tiny sliver of identification with the notion. But the problem is not as hard as it may seem because from the level of the mind, it is unsolvable, but for you, it is done.
So which way will you want to go? If you're trying to solve it like an equation, figure it out, that is impossible. You see, will you wait till you have the right perception of something? The experience that will not last? What is beyond these experiences and concepts? So you ask yourself: what are you waiting for? Is it an experience or concept? Because I can go hoarse saying it's not experience or concept. Good, we can keep saying, 'One day I'll have an experience of that not-experience or concept.' What is it you're waiting for? If you're waiting, you're waiting on the mind.