Lose the weight of conditioning, don't eat the hamburger thoughts - 13th May, 2016

Within a fraction of a second, the mind gives you the concept and it comes on the conveyor belt. Yes. And then you are too tempted to eat it. It happens like it is bought.

Okay. So if you find that there are these persistent beliefs, like even 'I am awareness' can just be... after that, the thoughts, they don't come related to the person. It comes related to 'I'm awareness' and that is more trouble.

Yes, because here, if the thought is believed 'I'm awareness,' I am gone. And if it is believed, then what will happen is that the way it manifests itself is in some specialness or arrogance or something.

Yeah, it is like this as a checker guy. As the checker. But very good. Yeah, it becomes, 'Now you're awareness, now don't become the person.' 'Yeah, this should each time be happening to me, I'm awareness day in and day out,' right? So this is what's happening here.

But this is okay, because if you keep coming to satsang, you will see them in the light of inquiry in satsang very fast. Yes, these are not large. If you keep coming to satsang. There are many who will take it up conceptually and then say, 'I am awareness, so why do I have to listen to satsang anymore?' I can just know, I can see that it gives suffering.

So it gives a good... in a way it's good. So is there any way like I can stop it in that fraction to become it a concept? Like when I check in that moment, it is completely clear it's awareness. So is there anything that can be done to make it not act as a concept?

So as you find that there is a sense of not giving belief to most other things, let's go back to the conveyor belt. Now there are some things which now you are saying are like dessert. If you love dessert, then it seems to just get picked up. But once you start with appetizers, main course—all of these six courses in the seven-course meal—then you're not picking up. Then the little bit of weight that you are adding on is through this dessert. But you will find that as you are emptying yourself of the other six, you find more a sense of even not giving belief to these. Because what I don't want you to do is pick up concepts like, 'Now I am getting stuck with this.' Literally, I like... you also drop this one because it is not talking to awareness.

Yeah, you say with my thoughts refer to awareness. So that thought which says, 'I'm getting stuck with this idea that I am awareness,' yes, drop this idea. For that, 'I am getting stuck with this idea of awareness,' drop all the auxiliary stuff. And then if this is the only thing that remains, then this will also drop because everything in the tree of conditioning is interdependent. Yeah, so as you're dropping, dropping, dropping, it's just like if you're pulling one leg of the table, you see, then the entire table will come. You don't have to worry. Yeah, because this itself is very sneaky. Yeah, the mind saying, 'See, now this still happens to you.' You said, 'My mind now is only talking about me as awareness,' but when it says that 'I am stuck with this idea that I'm awareness,' who's it referring to you as? The person who owns the awareness. The person that wants to be free of being enlightened is believed in, because it has made it personal.

Now in my case, this is what is happening. Yeah, because I can see that there is a fear also to not check, just because in the fraction of a second it will become a concept. I can say that creates...

Now let's see. It became a concept. The concept can come and dance and yeah, it is coming. Yes, let it come. Who is the concept appearing to? Is that also a concept? The idea 'I am awareness' is appearing to whom?

It's me. Only to me.

So in this way, as you check and you just know that 'I'm not going to buy any of these appearances, especially the voice of the mind.' Don't... if you want to pick up the idea 'I am awareness' and... [Technical pause] Can you hear me? Oh, that's okay. Oh no, no voice. Okay, how about now? Yes, that's good. Then you're on a diet. Can the solution ever be to eat more food? So you ate something that you didn't want to. It happens in every diet. So can the solution to that ever be, 'Okay, let me now pick up that block of rocky road ice cream from the freezer and have that also'?

It can never be about coming to a conclusion about what happened in the past to buy the guilt. To buy the guilt is to say that, 'Okay, I ate a salad when I was supposed to be on a water diet, so let me now eat a dessert.' You see what I'm saying? Yeah, that's exactly how guilt works. 'I had the most fattening...' So you ate a very harmless thought and the guilt says, 'You know, you're useless, worthless, you're losing all of it.' Then in that process, you're eating the ice cream sundae.

Because I can see that there was some guilt because I missed two or three satsangs because of the fear that if I go to satsang and if I check, then it is completely clear, however in a fraction of a second it'll come and it will become a concept and it will give me suffering.

Who will it give? Who will pick up the concept? There is still an 'I' which is saying that 'I check, I find this is what happens to me.' This is just the same guy, sometimes acting like the checker guy, sometimes acting like the finder guy. And this one is also reliant on thoughts. Yes, the 'I' is non-existent. The only difference in our story is that there is nobody here to lose weight, and yet because it has been given so much belief, it seems like it is here. And anything we believe about this false one, this adds to the weight of conditioning.

Yeah, the recognition of what we are is like going to the gym, lose thousand calories in the recognition. No, this is just letting itself out on its own. The inquiry 'Who am I?' or the recognition based on the inquiry 'Who am I?' is already very helpful in the dropping of the conditioning, you see? But it doesn't mean that because the recognition is there, now I am free to keep eating all the food that I want. If you still keep believing all the false ideas, then it still continues. And this is the cause of a spiritual trap also, because for most actually in the world, they feel they are eating all the food of the false ideas.

So one of the most prominent beliefs in spirituality is that the instant I recognized who I am, I'm done with suffering and I'm done with all personhood and egotism. That itself becomes a big aspect of the conditioning.

Yeah, I can see that. Because it is even more important to come to satsang after realization. I can say that, otherwise it will become a concept.

You know that if you are doing something out of fear, then there is a belief in the mind. So you have this fear that, 'Oh, when I come to satsang, then when I check I am awareness, the mind will give me this concept and I'm very quick to buy it.' You see? And then you better not go then. Literally bought it for today. But now as we are looking through it, it's so funny. Yes, yes. It could be so sneaky. Yes, and that is the main reason I want you to come to satsang, because it was so subtle. Thank you. So now just allow the conveyor belt to come and go with whatever it is bringing, and you can look at it if you have to, but don't pick it up.