Know as Little as Possible, and Like a Child Keep Offering Everything to Him - 28th August 2024

So as we deepen in our contemplations, which are actually contemplative prayers because we attempt to behold God in the process or be held by God in the process, we'll attempt to further deepen that whole process as we go along. And I got some inspiration this morning as to how to move forward in this deepening, and maybe I will take it in the form of a guided process. And I will keep guiding you for the first time step-by-step, maybe a few times step-by-step, and then we can get a sense of what it is to take that inward journey by ourselves, which many of us actually do. But let's do this together to begin with, and then we will use maybe some verses from Ashtavakra, continue our contemplation of the Ashtavakra Gita. But to start with, maybe we can take a simpler contemplation. Maybe what should we take? We can take one of the Taizé ones. So I'll just play that and then after that, we will contemplate together.

So we are contemplating this beautiful verse where Jesus has told his disciples, 'Stay with me, remain here with me, watch and pray.' So what we could do is, to begin with, we can write down this verse and then if there are some questions like, 'What does it mean to watch? What is to watch and pray? What would be to stay with God or to stay with Jesus or to stay with Ram?' So any questions that come when you hear the contemplation, you can write them down.

Also, if there are any requests that you want to make, you want to say, 'Please God, help me stay with you. I am very distracted in my prayer. Help me to watch and pray. Reveal to me what watch and pray is and help me to stay there.' So these kind of questions and requests that come, we can make a note of those all together. You with me? Make the note of what you want to contemplate.

So then what we'll do is we'll use our ADS prayer, Atma Darshan Samadhi prayer, a few times—five to ten times—so that we use the prayer to just settle ourselves, to come to our heart, and we truly ask for the Atma to guide us in this contemplation so that this verse, the depth of it, the beauty of it, and the instruction of it reveals itself to us. So are all of us familiar with the Atma Darshan Samadhi? Anyone who is unfamiliar? So I will take you through it maybe to begin with.

Suppose that your prayer is to Lord Ram. So the prayer goes: 'Lord Ram or Shri Ram, Lord Ram or Shri Ram, incarnation of God, have mercy on me a sinner. Bless my heart with the light of Atma or with the light of spirit. Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram.' So, and for some of you who are new, you can find the prayers on the channel if you look for the Atma Darshan Samadhi. For today, you can use Ram if you want.

So for the first few times, we'll use our breaths. So how we do it is that we will take the incoming breath with 'Lord Shri Ram,' the outgoing breath with 'incarnation of God,' then the incoming breath 'have mercy on me,' the outgoing breath 'a sinner,' incoming breath 'bless my heart,' outgoing breath 'with the light of spirit.' And it will become natural, don't worry. As you learn the prayer, it will become natural to you. And then incoming breath 'Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram,' outgoing breath 'Ram, Ram, Ram.' So incoming breath 'Lord Shri Ram,' outgoing 'incarnation of God,' incoming 'have mercy on me,' outgoing 'a sinner,' incoming 'bless my heart,' outgoing 'with the light of spirit,' incoming 'Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram,' outgoing 'Ram, Ram, Ram.' So like this, we just center ourselves with the prayer and truly request for our heart to be blessed with the light of Atma. So we can do this a few times.

Very good. Keep your eyes closed and just invoke the presence of the Holy Spirit, the presence of Atma within. Carry an intention to behold its presence and to be open to its guidance. The Atma is his presence; it is the presence of God himself. Let's request the Atma to guide us in this contemplation. And we must be very simple in our words; we must not get into any drama, any fanciful Shakespearean ideas, just simply like talking to our best friend.

Now for a very beautiful part of the contemplation is to allow the Atma to guide us to a holy guide, either itself—because all holy guides are a representation of the Atma itself—the Atma could bring us to communication, to communion with God himself or any representation of God. It could be Ram, Krishna, Jesus, Allah, Hanuman. You will be guided in your heart to make a request to any of these or any of the saints and sages: Saint of Avila, Tulsidas Ji, Mirabai, Hanuman, Buddha, any of the sages that you are guided to in your heart, Bhagavan. Invoke their presence. Feel that they are with you, sitting right there with you in your heart. Taste their presence with the innocence of a child.

If your mind is distracting you, gently return to your heart, to the holy temple in your heart where this contemplation is happening. No forcing, just gently. You'll get used to this process. Request the sage, request the Saguna form of formless God, whatever the spirit is sent as the holy guide for this contemplation to you. Request their guidance to understand what it means to 'stay with me,' to stay with God, to remain with him, and to 'watch and pray.' If any of the phrases are particularly confusing to you, focus on that, or attractive to you, focus on that. Or the request that, 'Please make this possible that I can stay in God's presence, I can remain here with him, I can watch, not get distracted, be vigilant, and pray.' And to pray is to remain here. This is contemplative prayer. So we remain here in the holy presence of God, guided by an aspect of God or the formless presence itself. So for five to ten minutes, just remain in this communication, communion with your presence.

During this time, you may be guided to a deep silence. It may seem like the mind has stopped. Don't try to answer the question, don't try to make your request forcefully. In that quiet, in that silence, everything is taken care of. Or you may find that your prayer is repeating itself; that is also completely fine. You just have to remain in the holy presence of your guide. And if answers, revelations are coming, then that is good too.

Very good, very good. Now bring your attention to a deep, deep gratitude, deep thank you from your heart to your guide, to the Atma within, and to God himself. The Satguru presence, the Atma, is the Satguru. And to God himself, thank him deeply for this opportunity to contemplate.

And end again with a few rounds of the prayer of the ADS with your breath. Incoming breath 'Lord Shri Ram,' outgoing breath 'incarnation of God,' incoming breath 'have mercy on me,' outgoing breath 'a sinner,' incoming breath 'bless my heart,' outgoing breath 'with the light of spirit,' incoming breaths 'Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram,' outgoing breaths 'Ram, Ram, Ram.' You can repeat this a few times.

Some of you may find that you're in no-mind, and some of you may find that you're in a deep samadhi. Don't rush out of it. Just when it feels natural, then you can open your eyes.

Very good. And then what you can do is just take a few minutes and if there are some reflections which are coming on the contemplation, you can make a note of them in your notebook. And your notebook can be very private to you, and you may not like to share, or you may want to publish it into a book or something one day, who knows? We don't know. And again, as the process, your writing process is also part of the contemplation. So allow yourself to be guided by your heart, by the spirit. Sorry.

And my notes, I usually call them 'heart speak,' but you can pick whatever name you like. I call it heart speak usually, but let's see, I may change that also.

Very good. So you're getting a sense of the process? Should I repeat it once? Good, good. Start with the ideas, invoke the presence of the spirit, the guidance of the Atma. If you feel that the Atma is guiding you towards a guide that you revere or actually may even be unknown to you, then request their help in the process. Maybe form, maybe formless, maybe any sage or saints, maybe any aspect of God that we reveal. Just feel their presence is with you in your heart. And this is a very beautiful part of this. I know the mind may resist this very strongly, but trust me on this. In the discipleship then, guided by the holy guide in the light of the Atma itself, then your divine classroom is taking place in your heart. In your heart temple, your communion, you're communicating with the attempt to behold the presence of God and to be held by him.

Then in the process, with gratitude, thank you, with no judgment about what happened—whether the mind was too active and you found it very difficult, or it was so blissful, or you were in a deep samadhi and you left the world—the outcome is not important. It is the gratitude which is important. Be grateful for this opportunity that God has created for you to be closer to him, to meet him in this way. And then end with a few rounds of the prayer, the Atma Darshan Samadhi prayer. So the breath can act like the connecting fiber between both the realms, the inner and the outer. So you use it to go within and you use it as a bridge to come out as well. Then you just make a note if something is coming up. Even if you feel like there's nothing, just see if there's something that spills out of you as you pick up your pen and paper. That is contemplative prayer. You're talking about Atma Darshan Samadhi; all of these things are the same where you are guided by...

Prayer, the Atma Darshan Samadhi prayer, so the breath can act like the connecting fiber between both the realms, the inner and the outer. So you use it to go within and you use it as a bridge to come out as well. Then you just make a note if something is coming up. Even if you feel like there's nothing, just see if there's something that spills out of you as you pick up your pen and paper. That is contemplative prayer. You're talking about Adhyatma Sadhana; all of these things are the same where you are guided by the Atma within. And you can do this by yourself while reading a book. If you're reading something which really is taking you deeper, then use this process of contemplation to really get a deep sense of what is being shared. Is it clear, the process? Any questions? Feel free to ask. Okay, so let's continue with Ashtavakra for a while and then we can use the same process to contemplate the words of the sages from the Ashtavakra Gita. So we finished two chapters, yes? So we start with Chapter 3.

The sage Ashtavakra says: 'Having known yourself as really indestructible and one, how is it that you, knower of the Self and serene, feel attached to the acquisition of wealth?' So what's happening? It's a rare scripture where King Janaka became enlightened just with the first chapter. But like any good Master, Ashtavakra is not going to leave him at that. He's going to prod, he's going to push, he's going to test. So now this is the test that Ashtavakra is giving. So he's basically saying, 'Why are you a king?' You see? 'Why are you king? Now you have known yourself as the really indestructible and the one, how is it that you, knower of the Self and now fully serene, feel attached to the acquisition of wealth?'

Then he says: 'Alas, as greed arises from the illusion of silver caused by the ignorance of the mother of pearl...' So we think that in the mother of pearl there is silver because of our ignorance. It looks like silver, so we believe that that is silver and valuable. '...even so arises attachment to the objects of illusory perception because of the ignorance of the Self.' When we are caught in ignorance and not Atma Gyan, then we want to grasp onto these worldly things. 'Having known yourself to be that in which the universe appears like waves on the sea, why do you run about like a miserable being?' You are that in which the entire universe appears; it is superimposed. Then why are you grasping for this and that, running around here and there? Every day, the sage is berating him.

So the attachment to wealth, the attachment to worldly security, material wealth versus spiritual wealth. Then he says: 'After hearing oneself to be pure Consciousness and surpassingly beautiful, how can one yet be deeply attached to sense objects and thus become impure? It is strange that the sense of ownership should still continue in the wise one who has realized the Self in all and all in the Self. It is strange that the one abiding in the supreme non-duality and intent on liberation should yet be subject to lust and weakened by the practice of amorous pastimes.' Because kings, especially in those days, were famous for all of these kingly pastimes which are not so good for the heart.

'It is strange that knowing lust to be an enemy of knowledge, a man who has grown extremely weak and reached his last days should yet be eager for sensual enjoyment. It is strange that one who is unattached to the objects of this world and the next, who discriminates the eternal from the transient and who longs for emancipation, should yet fear dissolution of the body.' See? So he's talking about all the main things we speak of in Satsang: wealth, material wealth, then attachment to worldly things, relationships, lust, pleasure, and fear of death, fear of losing this body.

'Fed and feasted or tormented, the serene person ever sees the absolute Self and thus is neither gratified nor angry.' So whether he is getting great acclaim in the world or is looked down upon, insulted all the time, the wise one remains empty of these and does not take either to heart. They're not disturbed by praise or blame. So what you could do is you could take the topic which most pushes your buttons, whether it is material wealth that prevents you from staying with Him in your heart, so whether it is material wealth or its relationship or its sense pleasures or its fear of death or it is an inability to handle insults or a propensity to start flying high when being praised. Whatever is your main button, you can frame your questions, you can make your prayers, and let's spend a few minutes in contemplating that, praying on that, so that you're free from these afflictions.

So take a few minutes and frame your requests or your questions and then we can start your contemplation. If it is something like lust which can seem like it has such a stranglehold over you, then just offer it to God. You'll see the miracles that He can do, how free He will make you, just surrendering it to God, offering it to God. And the same for wealth, greed, any sort of desire. And the time that we are spending in Satsang like this, and hopefully forever, is you can count that against your prayer quota. It is very focused here.

Also remember that if you fall into the prayer of the quiet or you come into the no-mind, or you notice that your heart continues to chant the Atma Darshan prayer, your japa becomes an ajapa, then don't fight that. Allow that to unfold. Allow the spirit to guide you, the Atma to bless the process and to guide you. It does not have to follow the agenda that we are setting. It does not have to answer the questions that we are asking. It may bring us, it may reveal very different things to us in the process. So we have to be a part of the process like beginners, like children in the discipleship of the Atma. It is the one setting the curriculum. All the contemplations that we are suggesting is just so that we bring ourselves to that innocence to be guided by Him. But don't allow that to become an excuse for the mind to do whatever it wants. Like the mind will say, 'I don't want to contemplate, I just want to do this.' So don't fall into that trap. Make sure that you are being guided from a deeper place by a deeper guide.

Just turn it off. So as we contemplate the nature of attachment, if you can't find what you're attached to, then find out what makes you angry. What are you scared of losing? So the fear, anger, all these symptoms are of attachment. For this, sometimes you'll see things, you will not be able to tell whether it's imagination or visions. Welcome them, don't be averse to them, but don't attach to anything. Allow them to take you deeper into your heart. Like if the Atma sends you to the presence of a holy guide and it seems like their form is revealing itself, that's fine. Don't resist that process, but don't get caught up or attached.

So there are two questions. First: 'Is there any process to overcome lust and related desires?' We just spoke about that, I'll answer again. Second is: 'Father, I am sorry, I'm a bit tired. How do I look at the mother's identity?' Okay, so the answer may be the same for both. So as much as we can in this contemplative prayer process, in our day-to-day life, try to offer everything to God. Make everything belong to God Himself. Everything that appears, offer it as a holy offering to God, to His holy presence in your heart. Otherwise, this sort of mental lust, not even a bodily thing but just the mind's, it becomes an affliction in the mind and then distracts you so much from the holiness of your heart.

I remember many years ago I took a much older friend, maybe in his late 60s or early 70s. They wanted to, a husband and wife couple wanted to visit the Malai and I took them there. And Gima was with the wife and this man confided in me. He said that on the first day it was so good because I went so deep within myself, but on the second day I saw this beautiful Western woman and since then I'm just so lost in just thinking about her, obsessing about her. So actually, independent of age, because he was a much older man, this can be such a major distraction from God. And he knew that nothing is possible, nothing will happen; he was not at the age to act on any of these impulses. But just, it spoiled his whole visit to such a holy place. So it's very important for us to be free from this stranglehold of these forces and to offer them to God, to offer everything that afflicts us to God in our heart and to request His help to make it right.

Yes, everything, everything can be offered to God. The beauty of constructing this heart temple is that it becomes your refuge for everything that Maya afflicts on you: bodily, mentally, emotionally, everything. So every attempt to turn inwards, every attempt to behold Him and to be held by Him helps you in your deepening, your construction of your heart temple. Then it becomes a natural refuge for you to turn. Otherwise, in our lives, we feel so helpless because we've removed the main character from our story. You made the story about 'me' by deleting the main one. Just God can help her with the fan, that's okay.

Okay, let's read a bit more and then see where it goes. 'Realizing this universe as mere illusion and losing all curiosity, how can one of steady mind yet fear the approach of death?' And curiosity in the sense is that this constant need to understand, 'What is this? Why is this?' This kind of stuff. 'With whom can we compare the great-souled one who is content with self-knowledge and does not hanker even after liberation? Why should that steady-minded one who knows the object of perception to be in its very nature nothing consider one thing acceptable and another thing unacceptable?' Which means that once you see that there is no snake, it is a rope, then to say, 'Oh, but I prefer it to be a rattlesnake and why is it a cobra?' You know, those are meaningless conversations, meaningless, fruitless thinking. So we must let go of all of this.

'He who has given up worldly attachment from his mind, who is beyond the pairs of opposites and who is free from desire, to him no experience coming as a matter of course causes either pain or pleasure.' So free from the duality of the world, we are free from the mental, emotional pain and emotional desire. So the fundamental question in these contemplations is: what is seeming real to you right now? Is the Self real? Is God real? Or is the world real? And if the world is seeming very real and tangible, substantial, then all our talk of God is only lip service. This is like talking about a fictional character. We can all, maybe because it's popular in a Satsang to speak like that, we can all speak of God being this, God being that, but it's going to be like a work of fiction because both cannot seem real at the same time.

And when I say world, I'm talking about Maya, which means that the 'me' comes. When we see the world through the lens of the 'me', not the mere appearance of this light and sound which is happening within Consciousness itself, but the play of Maya itself where the 'me' is the central character, the central one in the narrative. If that narrative, if that story, the play of the world, the Leela in this way is seeming very real and God is seeming less real or not at all actually, then you're stuck in the wrong place no matter what ideas or beliefs you may have. Look at yourselves, right? You don't know if you're fully sincere in making the offering? That's all right, that's all right. The things that we have difficulty in offering are the ones we have to offer, even if it feels insincere to begin with. See, at least it's a start. At least it's the beginning of handing over and you see the magic of how it transforms.

Yes, so that's the mind trick. Who can pray 100% with 100% sincerity of us? I can't for sure. So that's why a prayer is just an innocent attempt, knowing our feelings and with a sense of trepidation mostly, like, 'I don't really want to give up my attachment to my children, I don't really want to give up this or something.' And yet we know from our heart that God is a priority.

Begin with, see, at least it's a start. At least it's the beginning of handing over, and you see the magic how it transforms. Yes, so that's the mind trick. So who can pray 100% with 100% sincerity of us? I can't for sure. So that's why a prayer is just an innocent attempt knowing our feelings and with a sense of trepidation mostly. Like, I don't really want to give up my attachment to my children, I don't really want to give up this or something, and yet we know from our heart that God is a much better parent than I can ever be, for example. So with those shaking hands—true offerings are the ones where hands are a bit trembly. Is it the easy things to offer? We don't need to offer those; those are already offered. It is these where our hands are a bit trembly, then those are the ones we need to bring. And maybe there are things where we feel like, 'But I want this' or 'I can't do without this,' but if we're honest with ourselves and we see that it keeps us away from God, then that makes for trembly hands.

And as we continue—and this is a lifetime journey—as we continue in the process, it'll get easier and easier on that particular thing, maybe by God's grace. But other things may come. There may be hundreds of other things which are hidden right now which may come to the surface, you see. And you may realize that I have been feeling like this is absolutely fine, this is absolutely fine; that for me in business to be wanting to win at the expense of another is the way business is supposed to be done, for example, you see. But as you deepen in your prayer, you may see that no, actually, to put me above a brother or sister because the world plays it that way is not all right. So so many of these revelations happen as we go along, and things which seem absolutely perfectly normal, then as we go deeper and deeper into constructing our heart temple and the altar is coming alive with His love and light, you will see that so much light goes on all of this.

And so many things get—can't hear because of echo? Or is it for everyone? Or it's not—the words are not very sharp? Maybe we can look at some better speakers also. We'll find, we'll do some research. And I mumble anyway, but so we need some extra, extra sharp speakers. What is it? What volume? So the beauty of prayer is that it itself reveals what we need to pray for. So for a while, coming into spirituality feels like I was better off before coming; all of this seemed fine to me, you know. Now I'm here, now there's a problem with this also, and this also, and this also. Then what am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to live? You see, these kind of resistances can come. But remember that this is a complete override of the older operating system and it's a complete transformation of our life, and most things that we took to be true are upside down. So it is very natural many times for it to feel difficult.

You can hear better? It's muted? Yes. So I'm hoping that it's clear to me that the way Grace is building up our curriculum—how the Vedas came and then Satsang became more contemplative, now it's coming together as contemplative prayer and remaining more and more in the presence—I'm seeing the curriculum of the Atma play out. And I hope that today's Satsang will give you a major tool as to how to be in our life where we spent a lot of time, most of our life, on fruitless thinking. Instead of that, you don't have to throw away the questions; you can bring them into your contemplation, into your prayer, and so much holiness will be spread in your life and in the lives of those around you in the process. And the focus will become so much clearer and the Atma will help you so much every step of the way. You will see that you're moving away from a head-centered life to a heart-centered life. And it's not just about the two, three hours in Satsang every alternate day; it becomes the center of gravity for your life to remain in His presence.

And has blessed me with devotion. Full, full blessings. Full blessings. It's very natural to feel that sometimes when all of you are speaking, I feel like I should be listening to you instead of being the teacher. So she said, is it natural to feel like you're feeling in this class and you're last and everyone else seems to be getting it? It's very natural. In fact, it's very good to be like that, just humble like that. It's very nice. You want the mic?

He's already laughing at his own joke before he said a word. He's already laughing. I was just going to admit that, you know, I sing the Hanuman Chalisa normally out of devotion, but I don't have a really have any clue as to what it really meant. I just wanted to confess that. So when I was reading today the translation of it, it starts off by saying, 'After cleansing the mirror of my mind with the pollen dust of holy Guru's lotus feet, I profess the pure untainted glory of Shri Raghuvar which bestows the four-fold fruits of life.' And then it elaborates as Dharma, Artha, Kama, and Moksha. So then I see this, but then I guess the one that number three jumps out at me as something which we are now surrendering, you know, whether it's Karma, whether it's desire for pride or sensual pleasures or to be admired or whatever. That kind of Kama kind of connotes a kind of wanting something, isn't it? Now here, and I also saw in the Ramacharitmanas that actually it's mentioned as one of the attributes which is a gift to be as something to be enjoyed in life. So I just want to kind of put this: is it better to enjoy the fruits and be grateful, or is it better to take the position that I offer all these as things that take me away from You because from the truest position I recognize them as just the transient creations of Yourself? So just I wanted to finish.

That's a good question. The Dharma part—the Dharma part takes care of the rest of it because in everything, you know, there is a season. Like it says in the Ecclesiastes, that there is a season for everything. So how do we know what it is the season for now? When we follow God's will, then we know. If we follow His hukum and all this is for the—all of this Leela, all of this Maya is the game for who to enjoy? We are Consciousness. I am Consciousness. So it is for me to enjoy. But when the enjoyment becomes a suffering, it becomes a struggle, then that is the fail-safe mechanism in the game. Because the game is so intricately designed that it's time to wake up from this game, switch to another game, or stop playing altogether. And how do we know what is the right time for what? It is to follow God's will, to listen to our heart. So whether it is time to play in this way or that way, or this has to happen or that has to happen, we can trust God's will to guide us about that. And that is Dharma.

So was I saying in Satsang the other day that in our mind we could have rationalized it either way? If Arjuna refused to fight and Krishna said, 'Yes, your Dharma is to be peaceful, non-violent, stop fighting, go home or go to a forest and meditate forever,' you see, we would have said, 'Beautiful, what a great teaching. He was the great warrior then became the great sage because of that.' And then He said, 'No, you must fight. It is your Dharma to fight now.' So we said, 'Oh, beautiful,' because that is our life and we must do our Karma and we must follow. So either way, it could have been glorious in our minds. But what makes it right or wrong is who is the one saying it. You can reduce it: what makes it right or wrong is who is the one that is saying it. So if God guides us this way, then this way. If God guides us that way, then that way.

And our capacity to handle pleasure is very limited actually, but our mind's capacity to want it is unlimited. You all notice this, that after one laddu we are done, especially the sweetness that we put in our laddus here. So we are done, but the mind keeps hankering for more and more. But can it really handle it? It can't. And put that to any pleasure seeking—music, the best song, you play it 100 times, you don't want to ever hear it again. There are some bhajans even that you say, 'I can play this on loop forever.' By the third day, you don't want to hear it anymore. You're just done. So the pleasure-seeking mind is that stomach is never full, but the capacity of the body to really indulge in pleasure is very, very limited.

Now it's like that story of that old man visiting the Sadhu with me. I feel like he's very representative because he knows he does—there's no capacity like that left anymore, and it's just a mental fantasy. But that fantasy is causing suffering and taking him away, distracting him so clearly from self-inquiry, going deeper within himself. So everything is right in season, and God's will determines the season. If you learn to ebb and flow with that, then everything is fine. You have the mic on?

So I haven't been in touch so much in the last year and it's been tough to connect today for me, actually more than a little tough. I think I've been distracted through most of it and frustrated also. But I just need to ask to this point you made right now: how do I ascertain or know for sure that this desire to move beyond that which is transient or beyond suffering or anything else—why is that not something that is sought by the mind? Why is that my heart? Why is this need for God or any of this not mind? Why is this?

There can be like two aspects to this question. One is that can there be like a spiritual feverishness which is also the mind? That is one aspect. There can be, and many of us get caught up in that and we become bliss chasers or experience chasers. We just want to get more and more spiritual experiences and somewhere add to our pride of spiritual achievement. So spiritual feverishness can be so much mind-driven as well. But the second part of what you're asking is that how come—and correct me if I'm wrong—but how come the mind cannot really chase the things which are true? Is it like that? Say it again for me, rephrase.

I've even sort of forgotten what I asked, but I just feel Maya appears more real to me now than it did in the past. Even more. And yet you are in Satsang, so what brought you here?

Usually what happens is that when there's a cycle, the Maya starts to appear very real and it seems very tempting and there are things which seem very alluring in it, and then it starts to slap us around a little bit and then we remember Satsang again, you see, and we come back. So if you're here before that has happened, then that is very good. That is very good. But it still seemed very real and compelling, and yet something brought me back to Satsang, which is very auspicious. Because like Abhi said, so if you're feeling like a worldly comfort, a worldly ease, Maya seeming real but it seems fine, and yet you find something turning towards God, then we don't have to go through the cycle of suffering to return to God.

But in terms of the unrelatability of Satsang, that's for two reasons. One is that the temperature change can happen a lot when you're outside and then you come back in. And second is that over the last few months while you've been away, the form of Satsang, the format of Satsang, has also changed. It's less talking, more silence, the emphasis on devotion, the emphasis on love, the emphasis on discipleship of the Atma—all those things have changed. So both the difference in temperature from Satsang and Maya, and the format of Satsang also is transformed quite a lot. So I would encourage you to just stay with some patience and courage and see where it goes. But because the mind will really resist you—and thank you for admitting that—but that's the way it's changed on both these levels. What is the most resistive part?

The word God is God, but I'm not able to—this is what I asked you one year ago when I think we were on our trip to and this—

The difference in temperature from satsang and Maya, and the format of satsang also is transformed quite a lot. So I would encourage you to just stay with some patience and courage and see where it goes. Because the mind will really resist you, and thank you for admitting that, but that's the way it's changed on both these levels.

What is the most resisting, resistive part? The word God is God, but I'm not able to... this is what I asked you one year ago when I think we were on our trip. And I just couldn't, and I'm still there. I just choose... I have a lot of reverence for all of them, I really do. If I hear about them, I would start crying. But even so, when I do a form of inquiry, self-inquiry, those are the two main parts: either the Bhakti Marg or the Gyan Marg. So this sort of aversion to God and satsang becoming God-centered was very common.

I don't know if you saw some of that when you were here last time, but a lot of satsang members, brothers and sisters, went through this. Like, 'Can we just keep God out of it? Can we just say, maybe make it Consciousness?' You see, make it more scientific rather than a living being called God, because that seems a bit scary to the mind or unrelatable to the mind. But if you really look at it, spirituality is spirit, isn't it? Spirituality and spirit is what? What is spirit? What would you say spirit is?

I don't know. I seem to put my faith in something, an idea.

But faith is that only. You know, you can't say, 'I put my faith on that which I already know,' isn't it? Because then it's not faith; it's just rationality. It's just making sense of what our senses have showed us. Faith is that leap. 'Leap of faith' means that I don't know it, but something feels drawn to this strange man. He talks about God, but I have no experience of God from what I can tell. So that process of following someone, trusting someone in spite of the mind resisting and in spite of all that we've experienced being contrary maybe to what is being shared—that is faith. So once we've seen it, once we've experienced it and we have made sense of it, then faith is not needed. Then it is just rational.

So the spiritual journey is a journey of faith, and every time we speak of God or we hear of God, it is an exercise in faith. Because never will we be completely free of the doubting mind, you see, which will say, 'What are you talking about?' like that. So how to recognize the difference between a blind belief and faith? That is the crux of it, isn't it? But the answer also is not easy, because the answer is that what your heart is clearly telling you, to follow that in spite of everything the world may be showing you or the mind may be saying—that is faith.

But I know what the problem is. The problem is that it's like a chicken and egg. Like, 'I don't know what the heart is telling me,' you see, because to go to the heart needs faith. So it's a bit chicken and egg, isn't it? So it's a great gift if you can find someone in the world who, for some strange reason, your heart trusts. You see, because if you find that—it doesn't have to be Ananta, it doesn't have to be, I don't know which teachers you're in touch with—but someone. That great gift is to find that someone who our mind may not agree with, or in fact will not agree with, but something feels drawn in the heart to visit that or go to them. Then there, that trust will deepen faith within yourself.

Because you're kind of stuck, isn't it? Your mind hates it or resists it, but something keeps getting drawn to it. Something keeps pulling you back to it. So the way out of the stuckness is to either just leave or to surrender and say, 'Okay, now what is he talking about? Could it be true? Could it be real?' So that at the expense of my rationality, at the expense of my perceptual sense-making, can I follow? And that willingness to follow will lead to a beginning of spiritual experience, and that beginning of spiritual experience will lead to the development of faith, development of the deeper thing.

Because what is being said in satsang is completely contrary to the way of the world. I'm saying that God is a living being, the light of this universe, and to meet Him by His grace has been made possible in the form of the Atma within ourselves, you see. So that spirit is the Atma within ourselves, that Holy Spirit. And that is what spirituality is actually about. It is not about, 'Oh, do this and become happy, do this and become more productive.' How the Bhagavad Gita can make you a better manager at work and all this absurd rubbish is there in the world. It is about coming to the holy presence of God Himself.

What I hear from teaching, the doubt is more than my ability to... I feel I left and come back here or in other places. You have other teachers, very grateful for that, you're still here. But I think the mind gets stronger.

And this is so common, my dear. This is so common that many report—I don't know whether all of you are just being kind or what it is—but many report like this: that there is not a doubt in terms of what you're saying and your insight; it is a doubt about whether we are cut out for it or not, you see. So that's... it's like saying that, 'I know you're offering me a full buffet meal, but I think I'm cut out for only idli sambar today.' Not that there's anything wrong with idli sambar, I love it, but it is making a limitation on our own capacity, you see.

I should be the one saying, 'I'm ready.'

No, but you see that I will never say that, because this what I'm talking about is so universal and actually so accessible if you can just get over these stumbling blocks and have patience and courage. It's easy to transcend. Initially, it happens that you're not able to hear also what is being said a lot because things seem distracting and you know things. So that is part of the defrosting process. The first few satsangs when you return, there will be like a defrosting where, if you persist with it, then you'll find that it doesn't matter what's happening in the room, it doesn't matter what else is there.

Is it possible that I'm not good at effort? I can for a small... besides spirituality, what...?

What is your interest? Travel? Food? What is the most fantastic place you've traveled to?

All over the Himalayas is a good example.

So was it effortless to get to those places like the Himalayas? Some of those peaks you have to trek a bit, you have to put some effort. So when we have a heart set on something, then effort doesn't seem that difficult, you see. So it doesn't seem like an effort. So you're not bad at efforting; it's just that you're not really sure whether you want to put that effort in this. Because if it was, suppose you really wanted to visit one peak in the Himalayas, the view is supposed to be awesome from there, then you would say, 'Okay, now I'll practice, I will get acclimatized, I will do all of this, I'll become fit, I will run, I will improve my lung capacity, I will walk for many days and get to the peak.'

Much more effort is needed to come to satsang and to listen. So to find the truths about yourself, to truly find the existence of God Himself some way one day—and of course I hope it is today—but someday it will seem like the most important thing, better than any of the other projects, you see. Then it will not seem like so much effort. But till then, it will seem like effort. I'm never going to say that it's going to be easy. And the ideas about an effortless spirituality are all bunkum, because it's still effort for me every day to make sure I don't go with Maya and stay with God. It is not effortless. It may be lesser effort now than before, but anyone who says, 'Now for me, I'm just so enlightened that Maya is nothing,' is just fooling themselves or fooling everyone else.

So effort... what you could do is try dropping the aversion to effort. Don't expect it to be effortless. It's going to be... you're probably going to be the most difficult thing you ever do. Or it is definitely the most difficult thing I've ever done or I am doing: to transcend this mind, to transcend the layers of Maya and to stay in the presence of the Atma. Second could be bringing up children. But bringing up children, then you look at them and you say it is worth it, hopefully. So at least I look at them and say it is worth it. So in the same way, I look at the transformation in this one's life, I look at that indescribable sense when I'm in God's presence, and it is much, much, much more than worth it. But was it effortless? Is it effortless? No. Is it worth it? A million times over. But I can only report from my experience; I cannot give you that experience to say, 'Okay, this is what is going to be, now decide whether it's worth it or not.'

I hear words like transformation or experiences of other people. I like that question because you look for the signs.

It's very natural for us to all feel like that. And many times I've seen with satsang children, it's one day it's... oh, what is that scene from Sacred Games? He's like, 'Aham Brahmasmi.' So sometimes you kids are like that, and sometimes you're just like, 'I'm the worst, I'm the worst, nothing will ever happen.' You know, what is that dialogue he says? 'Kabhi kabhi lagta hai apun hi bhagwan hai.' So the same one then goes through these extreme cycles. But as you—and again I'm saying persist and patience—then you will find that it becomes a little steadier. You're not going that up and down; it becomes a bit steadier. We become a bit steady in our heart.

So you heard this before? Why are you laughing so much? Sometimes... but sometimes it also seems like, 'That's it, I made it.' So these fluctuations of the mind, they start to steady a bit. Let me give you an example. I feel like till you come to the love of the Atma, the love of God, we don't find anything like a stable love in this world, is it? I see most of you kids—and I'm not making any presumptions about you—but the love is so... what we call love, but it's actually so unstable, you see. Every week, every two weeks, it just changes. This, that, this, that. That is just symptomatic of not finding the stability of God's love for ourselves in our heart. When we feel so deeply loved by God in our heart, then our love even externally will be expressed much more stably, not so up and down.

So like you were talking about what is symptomatic of a spiritual life versus like a mental life, that I feel like is a very important point. But coming back to your point, I feel all of you at some point or the other, every week maybe, feel like you're feeling at this, you're not progressing, you're not doing well. Tell me if I'm wrong. I have WhatsApp reports to prove it! It happens to everyone. In fact, I'd be more worried if it was not happening, if you were just like, 'Yeah, I've got this, I've got this.' I'm like, 'Janaka? Kingdom? No kingdom?' I'd be very, very wary of that, very suspicious of that.

So if you're lamenting, if you're tantruming a bit, then I'm reassured that okay, we are fine. Of course, my hope for all of us is that we come to that point of Ashtavakra-Janaka where we are really unperturbed with all of this. But our words, our presence, our words, our actions, everything has to carry that fragrance for me to be not suspicious of that. So don't worry if it's about that, that you're falling behind in class. We all feel that way. I feel like I'm almost 50 and I'm just about getting a sense of prayer.

Yeah, did they share the story of the Qawwali brother? With the Qawwali brothers, I went to meet them—not to meet them, but to attend one of their shows, concerts—and he said something, one of the brothers said something very beautiful. He said that, 'We've been doing this for our whole life, and now I'm starting to get a sense of what singing really is. I'm starting to get that sense when it is time to go.' So that is me every day. I just feel like I've been a spiritual teacher for 12 years, I've been in this quest for self-discovery to find God since I was 23, and now I'm starting to get the...

One of the brothers said something very beautiful. He said that, 'We've been doing this for our whole life and now I'm starting to get a sense of what singing really is. I'm starting to get that sense when it is time to go.' So that is me every day. I just feel like I've been a spiritual teacher for twelve years, I've been in this quest for self-discovery to find God since I was twenty-three, and now I'm starting to scratch the surface kind of sense of it. So with Him, with God, I can lament about wasted years and wasted time, and it does seem like that. I just feel like fifty years, half a century of this life is gone, and I've not loved God as much as I could have. So that's why it's a lifetime work in progress. So if you were saying no, I'd be a bit suspicious of that. It's good; it helps you stay humble.

Was my first moment of breathing, yes.

Actually, the pathway to Him is only possible through humility. It is not possible for achievers. Achievers can never achieve God. Losers, foolish ones like me—God is for those. It's not for the achiever. Achievers will achieve everything else, but God is not an achievement. We can fill our heads up with all the scriptures, we can answer all the tests, the quizzes, we can quote the right words from the right scripture in every moment, but all that will not bring us to God. Bowing down, being humble, loving each other, being compassionate, being kind—those are the pathways. How much we can meditate, how many hours we do—all that can be inspirational, but it's not a benchmark of success in spirituality. The more we study, the less we know. If your scriptures, if your sadhana is making you more and more knowledgeable in the wrong place, it's going the wrong way. Every word of the Holy Spirit's guide should make us realize that we are just children, we are infantile, we don't know anything at all.

It is better to not keep track—how many hours, how many this, how many that. Sometimes, and sometimes better to be strict with yourself. Sometimes both things. Like I said, I was saying there is a season for everything. Once you're trying to break old patterns, create new ones, maybe it is better to be strict for some time. If that itself you're pressing yourself too much with, and it is no longer about God but about achievement, then better to let go of that heaviness and flow a little bit, you see? And those beats you will only get from the heart, you see? Because one man sitting in front of you cannot give a universal answer about this for all of you. So if I say it's better not to keep count, then the child who's praying one hour is going to pray two hours tomorrow and say, 'I'm not keeping count.' Then it happens, it happens. But one child may need to hear that, and one child may need to hear, 'Aren't you doing double of what you're doing?'

So that's why my only job is to keep pointing you to the Satguru presence within, who has tailor-made answers for you every moment of your life, which this one can never replicate. Because the answer is not just for you; it is also for you at a particular point of time. So it's not just even about the questioner being answered, but the questioner at that moment in time needs that particular answer. And to Anshul, I want to say that I don't know at which point, when was your last here, but for like a month or two after the ads came, I had so much resistance from almost every satsang member. So we are just getting over all of that, so don't feel like it's unnatural at all. Plus, you have it more difficult because a year has passed, so a lot of your brothers and sisters will seem to be like just in chanty with it. But you must be what? Yes, back. One child said 'defrosting' for five years. She's been defrosting five years, she said. All of us feel like that at points. All of us feel like that at points.

I have to say that there are those rare moments where I get disheartened as well. I'll get a report from one of you and I'll be like, 'What have we been doing last twelve years?' I just feel like going into some cave and never speaking about God again. It does happen. It's rare, but it does happen. And then I have to remind myself that that's my mind trying to block the light, trying to block what is unfolding for everyone. So my heart catches on. Yes?

I just wanted to report, Father, something that Mom and I had discovered. One was, you know, if there's anything that one is going through and the mind is going toward the negative, then you just check with yourself: 'Does this make you feel beautiful?' And if it makes you feel beautiful, then it's God. It's very simple. And if it's not making you feel beautiful, then not really God. Yeah, it can be used all the time over everything. It doesn't matter if you have a headache, backache, feeling good, feeling bad—if it makes you feel beautiful, yeah, it's God.

Very good. And of course, both of you having been in satsang have refashioned the word 'beautiful' to mean that. Because I like the way you included things which are even painful to the body as beautiful, because then you can send a fragrance of auspiciousness, isn't it? Most in the world may not be able to fathom that, because many, many times the pathway to God is quite painful. So they may say it's not always so beautiful. But the way both of you are using it is that you have a sense of auspiciousness about it, the fragrance of God's blessing in that.

You said to me to ask a few years back, you said, 'See the auspiciousness in the inauspicious,' which is something we use with each other all the time and with life all the time, particularly when things are apparently going wrong. And it's not possible that in God's world anything can go wrong, number one. Number two, we cannot believe that He would do anything. Exactly. So it brings us back to the same thing: Does it make you feel beautiful? Is your backache, is your pain, is your stomach problem or your money going—is it making you feel beautiful? Check. And I just want to tell you that also, that whenever you feel wobbly, just check with yourself: 'Is this making me feel beautiful?' Let it come from the heart, okay? Let it come from the heart. 'Is it making me feel beautiful?' Stay with it. If you get a fragrance and a sense of, you know, maybe it's not so bad, then know it's God. You don't need to do anything; you're already within the even if there's a slight shift. So that works with Mom and me.

The other thing that works with us is there was a statement made by someone who said, 'If you want to serve God, be happy.' Very simple. And you had said, 'If you want to serve God, serve God.' So combining the two, what we made out of it is when you feel happy is when you're grateful. When you're truly grateful, a surge of happiness comes. So it makes you grateful, then you're not entitled to it because you're grateful. So it makes you humble, and then because you're happy being grateful and humble, you have the courage and the patience to persevere. So if you want to serve God, be happy from that point of view. That's how Mom and I do it.

The birthday girl is giving us return gifts first. Only let you see that. I just want to show the color. You know what it says? 'Yogic Contemplation Volume One.' I love that. I love that. Volume one! He's ready. He's ready for the bestseller. Edition one, volume one, edition one. Yes, give you the mic.

Father, I want to share that sometimes, or many times, the belief in what is being discussed here or just goodness in general gets really shaken up for me when something bad happens. What happened in Kolkata, for example, it really shook me. Like for the next week after, I was so angry and so frustrated with even this concept of not just doing good or compassion, but the God or whatever, you know? These things. In one case, how bad does her parents' or her karma have to be? And we have incidents like this every day, too many to count. So something like that also really shakes me off my axis in a strong way. So I don't know how to deal with that. I don't like to get so affected because I know by being affected I'm just giving into anger or pain, and it's not like I'm making such a—it's not like there is worth contemplating these things too.

It's very often like one of the things I used to say as an atheist was, 'If God is real, then why is there suffering in the world?' You just feel like if God is the reality, then He should not have made this suffering; it should not be there. Now I'm realizing that God should be asking this question: 'If God is real, then why is there suffering in the world?' Can you get a glimpse of this? You see that that choice between me and God, that choice between hate and love, that choice between separation and unity is not hardwired into us. It's not hardwired into us in the sense that God loves our love for Him, but He has not made it a forced love. We are not like robots designed just to love Him, isn't it? Because then that love would be meaningless.

So if my three children now, if they just love me because I made them that way, then that love would have no value. But in spite of the temptation of being angry with me, of being upset with me, of not being able to understand my life, if in spite of all of that they make the choice to love me, then that is very touching to me, you see? So that brings us to that whole free will, karma, God's will versus free will—how much free will, all that kind of debate. And maybe next satsang I'll dive deeply into that, but for now it is suffice to say that we have the choice between love and hate. See, and every time there's been too much hate in the world, God Himself has had to come down and fix it.

This is going much beyond whether you look at Hinduism, Christianity, Islam. You look at any religion, you see that God has either sent a great messenger or prophet, or He Himself had to come down and fix our lack of love or our tilting this whole human condition toward selfishness and egotism. So I feel like really it is God who should be asking the question: 'I've given you the option to love, and you can all love each other so deeply, and there's no downside to it, there's only upside to it. Why are you creating so much suffering and conflict?' Sounds strange, I know, because hardly anybody looks at it that way, because we become very conveniently 'God's will is all there is' and very conveniently 'free willed' but in the opposite way, you see?

God has given us the potential to love, not a compulsion to love, because then it would not be love anymore, would it? If it was a compulsion to love, then what is the love in it? If you didn't have the power to pick love, then it would not be love. So this is what our egotism has done. This is a simplistic explanation and we'll dive deeper and deeper if you want to do, but for now I feel this is sufficient: that this is what our not picking love, our picking separation, our picking pride has done to the world. And you look at any conflict, you look at these situations which bring tears to all our eyes, and you look at these long-running conflicts like the Middle East for example—the same thing. I mean, for centuries that region has been in conflict because of this 'me, mine, me better.' It's like if my two biological children were constantly fighting with each other, you see, I would ask them, 'But you can actually love each other, why are you constantly fighting?' And if they said, 'But you made us this way,' you'd say, 'Shut up and love each other!'

And to set the right example, if you look at the lives of the incarnations, they had a lot of suffering. And they didn't suffer in the way that we suffer, but the events that they had to go through and the pain that they had to endure is staggering, just so that nobody could make that excuse and say, 'Oh, He was God only, so what's the big deal in that?' You see? So that's why that idea—the mind cannot understand, the intellect cannot understand the full manifestation.

You shut up and love each other. It's to set the right example. If you look at the lives of the incarnations, they had a lot of suffering. They didn't suffer in the way that we suffer, but the events that they had to go through and the pain that they had to endure is staggering, just so that nobody could make that excuse and say, 'Oh, he was God only, so what's the big deal in that?' you see. So that's why that idea—the mind cannot understand, the intellect cannot understand—the full man and full God, or full woman and full God. That's a beautiful concept, that he did not give himself an advantage and yet showed us that it's possible to live in the way of love. And yet, what all we have done as Ravana and as the persecutors... Ravana, all this embodies the human condition. They are not some strange alien people; they are embodiments of the human condition. So there are layers within layers of this game.

Yes. Recently I heard a story of a very elderly lady, I don't know, maybe sixty or seventy, in Kerala. So what she does is she goes to Tamil Nadu, wherever dresses are made, she buys kids' dresses and comes to temples and sits on the roadside and sells them, makes some money, and goes to some pilgrim. And when she has about five hundred left, she comes back with the same thing again. And when this happened recently in Wayanad, the natural disaster, it seems like the next day, whatever dresses she had, she took the entire thing and all the money she had and she went and gave it immediately.

So this kind of thing also happens. Of course, of course. And that never gets reported anywhere. The stories are not shown. We just subscribe to the wrong channels all the time.

And for that, during that time, I was like double-minded because most of the established money-collecting mechanisms, including government, are corrupt. And how to channel some money, all that was happening. And when this kind of story comes out, I feel like an absolute idiot.

That's very true, that every flavor is there in the human condition. It's not just one-dimensional. Okay, okay, let's go to K quickly and then...

Hello, Father. Thank you. I was quite tired during satsang and then I had to move and did some cooking. But I asked myself if this darkness is real or not, and now how I asked this question, it went away. I still don't feel I'm in my... let's say, whatever that means and whatever it is, I feel there is something lingering here, some sort of...

What happened to that... you were looking for a timer app or a time sheet application? What happened to all that? I was hoping some IT gurus from the satsang would indicate to me, but nobody came.

And I can't keep a notebook at the moment. It's just too hectic here.

Okay, that's fine. So what is the notebook saying?

I can't keep a notebook because it's too hectic. It's too much movement. But I am in satsang quite often and I am contemplating and I am going to local sangha gatherings and programs and I do pray. And Anna is unstable at the moment because of all this movement probably, or I don't know what it is with it. And that, I guess, that produces a lot... produces worrying in my being and also some tiredness that comes with it. And there are the demands of the daily living, and we are also moving again and we don't really have a home in three days.

Nice, nice. Full blessings, full... may God's grace create the perfect environment for you to be able to pray, and may you find such great comfort in His presence that all the worldly troubles and worldly afflictions may seem very light. And for all of you kids, I want to say that Maya can never be solved. It's all right. Maya can never be solved by more Maya. Not more Maya, yeah. Maya will never be solved by more Maya; Maya will only be solved by more God. This is... it is the nature of Maya to say that, 'Oh, but now you have to do this and now you have to do that and now you have to do this.' And sometimes it's like that. I know this, that things are very busy and so many almost life-threatening circumstances can happen. And in those times, it seems very difficult to keep track of our true life, our prayer life. I'm aware of that. But in those moments, even the slight turning, when you have a moment to yourself to turn to God, that is as much as one hour, you see. That is as much as the whole day.

So I tell God more than one hour, and He is my refuge. Very good, very good. And I do know He carries me. It's just there is still this lingering on the forms and I don't know... I don't even know like if it's normal to... I guess it's normal to want your children to be happy and to try to, yeah, do your best to, I don't know, fix their environment if something is troubling them.

Yeah, it seems very normal. But even with that, turn to God to guide you in terms of what is the best action to take, what is the best move. Because we can't... I mean, our intentions of course are very good with our children especially, but we don't really know what is best for them. So it's best to follow God's guidance as much as we can, as much as we can. Yeah, and I agree with you because especially in Anna's situation where you don't... I don't really know, yeah, what is happening in her being. It's... yes. So because we cannot know, we must just deepen our prayer as much as we can. Yeah.

Thank you, Father. Thank you. Okay, so the main obstacle for liberation or Mukti is moha or attachment. So is there any way to... this attachment, everybody is familiar with, either to the objects, beings, or things, we are all attached. So if there is any way for this natural moment of attachment to get converted into love, then it will be a win-win situation. Because automatically the mind is going there; if that attachment is converted into love, then it will be a win-win situation, I feel. Is there any way for it? Yeah, thank you.

So two things are coming to suggest. One may sound strange but it's very important: know as little as possible. Don't know too much. Just know as little as possible. And secondly, everything, as often as you can, with the innocence of a child, just keep offering to God. So these two things: first is very important, just empty yourself, know as little as you possible. And secondly, like a child, keep offering everything to Him. We can sing the chalisa.