It's Only Misunderstanding that Causes Suffering - 23rd October 2024

No, something in the past or currently good about retiring. I just... so how can I accept that? That situation, circumstances, that question? Say because I... I have to. I know that God is really masterful and kind.

God is here first. Yeah, most time we forget that God is here. Exactly. So first, God is here. Now given that he's here, there are two options. First option is that he hates us, that's why he's doing this to us. Second option is that he loves us more than we can imagine, and yet this circumstance is there. Is it so? This love for us and yet the continuation of that circumstance which we hate, but he continues to keep in our life. What is it for? If the most loving one is the most powerful one, the kindest, most merciful one has picked a particular path for our life to walk on, would he have picked the most graceful, the easiest, the simplest, most loving, most kindest path? Or would he have picked the most difficult, most troublesome way to get to that destination? What would you have done? Most loving one. Like even for your children, Amma, if you had to teach G something, would you say, 'Okay, I'll teach him this lesson but I'll also make him suffer a little extra'? You'll never do. No mother can do, no father can do that. So our true Father, which is God, can definitely not do that for us. So he wants us to grow, but he will say that for this growth, this much is the minimum we have to go through for us to grow. He will never give us the maximum. See, he will never add one pinch of extra pain, one inch of extra suffering, one millimeter you will not have. So if you can come into that acceptance that everything that he allows to remain, only he knows it's where and he loves us. So first we come to accept him. Then when we realize, but if the most loving one is allowing something to be there in my life, he knows what he's doing. I have no idea. So then I must be grateful for it because I don't know what to put to my life, especially the... because um, we're talking about those circumstances which feel very hard and everybody has some. I think there is lack of... but with more acceptance you'll be more patient. More acceptance, then more more patient, more acceptance. Actually these words have a lot of overlap. The words have a lot of overlap, they're not exclusive. Patience and acceptance, a lot of overlapping.

The experience two challenges. Sometimes in certain circumstances acceptance itself becomes a challenge. Um, some other circumstances the remembrance of this, the steps that we're playing, if the memory of that comes then there is... even though it feels very difficult, moment we turn to God and it's so beautiful. At you... the circumstance really has not changed so much, but we still feel beautiful. How do we sustain the remembrance of these steps? Because I feel they're so beautiful and so powerful, these four steps that you spoke of. God is here, he loves us infinitely, he has infinite time, he can change whatever you... yeah. And for me that has turned into a conversation with God as as this the memory of this comes and there is a difficult circumstance, I pause and I turn to him and tell, 'This is the circumstance, then you know best.' And simply by being in his company it is so beautiful. But how do we remember yes, more often?

Satsang has momentum and k-sang has momentum. When we're in that has momentum, it becomes difficult to remember. When we're in that has momentum, and it's easier to one. So whatever you do, firstly start your day with good morning to God. Unless... what is the line? Don't see the face of a brother till you see the face of God. If you remember that closely every morning, that simple thing is till you see the face of God, then don't see another brother or sister in the world. Even if you're getting late to get out of bed, that itself will start your day with the right momentum. So just like Maya has momentum, like you fall angry then you want to be angry at everything. Just then everything will seem terrible. You want to leave everything. You are just, you know, then you want to be right, like 'Why I got angry is because of this.' So it takes on its own momentum. But if you stay with God, then that takes its own momentum. Then the temptation from the world, the aggravations of the world are not seeming that attractive, that compelling. Suppose right now you're sitting here in satsang, somebody says, 'G, you're a fool,' but you will not... you'll be fine. Just somebody is just in the... you're not getting... but suppose you're in a work environment making a big presentation, corporate presentation, and somebody stands up, one participant stands up and says, 'No, you're a fool.' That'll have a different thing because you're already in that mask presenting like that. That is why in life what you give momentum to, that will sustain. So there's no quick fix solution, then 'I want to be in the wrong momentum but I want to remember this right in time.' There is no solution like that. You just have to constantly remain in his presence so that we stay in the right. So what is the best satsang? It is his sang, God's sang. We have to remain in his presence is the best satsang. We have to remain in your ideas right now is the worst. Somewhere even sitting in physical satsang we can be in k-sang because we're sitting in our anger, we're sitting in our grievance, we're sitting in our... sitting in all of these problems and we're not in satsang, we're still in the k-sang. The more we remain in the satsang, the more we remember. The more the one instant where we say, 'No, no, it's okay for this, I have to become angry now.' When we start justifying anger, we start justifying joy, we think we're so right, that is the... do we to suffering? Do we to all this trouble? What is the first challenge? Challenge is sometimes acceptance itself becomes... of course, if it is not challenging to be free from suffering, boom boom. Do you remember God is here? Takes work because we have pride. All of this would not be difficult without pride. Now pride is that which others can see about us, we can't see. That is the difficulty with that. Husband and wife can see each other's pride, we can't see our own. The couples that are there, is it how we can see that one so clearly? This is wrong, she is wrong, but...

The challenge is sometimes acceptance itself becomes a course. If it is not challenging to be free from suffering—boom, boom—do you remember God is here? It takes work because we have pride. All of this would not be difficult without pride. Now, pride is that which others can see about us, but we can't see. That is the difficulty with it. Husband and wife can see each other's pride; we can't see our own. The couples that are there, is it not how we can see that one so clearly? 'This is wrong, she is wrong.' But you can't see this one so clear. So as I've grown older, I realized that I may be hiding a lot of pride and it's not visible to me, but I trust that God will show me. If His whole teaching program is to make us innocent like children, then if there is suffering, then it must be to free us from some pride that we have, isn't it? Can we suffer without that idea, that simple idea that 'this should not be happening to me'? Why not? Because 'I'm a good guy.' Somewhere, it is somewhere, you know? But do we live in that somewhere? There, you know, there we know. Do we live there?

There are some things in which we just don't live there. Like going to work is a challenge for me because the conditioning here is so much. Since the age of 23, I started my first business, so I picked up that persona, you know, being the boss at a very young age. So when I find myself in work meetings sometimes, I'm still like that. Then I just look at myself; this conditioning comes.

And the same thing happens with the teacher conditioning, like right now. Just that job, I have to remind myself not to take myself too seriously. Once you get used to sharing for 12 years and you have people listening to you intently like this, you see—which rarely happens, but because I'm on a break from satsang, then everybody's listening more intently—then it becomes like an addiction. You just feel like you deserve to be heard, you deserve to be listened to. All these things put you on a pedestal. So the more you can see this about yourself, you can see your own pretense. Yeah, do I speak like this with my children? I don't speak like this with them. I have a different pretense, like a parental pretense. With all of you, I have a different pretense, like a Guru-disciple relationship pretense. And I know this part is difficult to find, but those who forget this part and they feel that they are beyond any pretense, they are the ones who become Ravana. They are the ones that can get caught.

I was sharing with someone the other day that if you met Ravana and he was at his most devotional, praying to Shiva, not caring for his life, just praying, praying, praying to Shiva—such beautiful creations were coming out of him. If you hear this, you can see the hand of God is in it. So you met him like that. Suppose this is Ravana; you met him like that, so full of devotion. You will want to follow at his feet. You want to say, 'You are my Guru, please accept me, please teach me.' Then that millimeter of trajectory goes to pride, that 'this one is my disciple, I am the Guru.' That trajectory goes that way, then quickly leaves there. Every day, little by little like that, it can become more. And then you can start to feel like, 'I'm not biological at all.' That has become famous recently, so it's quite a bit of waking up. Wake up! Then what happens is you're like riding a tiger. If you get off it, you're dead; if you keep on it, you're dead. You're stuck.

Because what do I mean? Suppose you say, even if you find some pride about yourself, you go share with your disciples. First, they won't accept it. Like that movie, Kumare. That guy says, 'But I've just been acting for this documentary, I'm not a real Guru.' They say, 'No, no, you're just saying that, you're just saying that.' First, they don't accept it. And if they accept it, then they start to hate you. Then they start to get angry with you, and they start funding you their life, all of those things. So the money starts to dry up, our lifestyle starts to change, people falling at your feet aren't there. So you feel like—and you're attached to them, you're attached to people around you—so you don't want to lose them. So then you have to keep that persona up. And anytime you see people like that on TV, see that they're just having the people persona and they never want to lead a life which is just about... imagine having to be a full-time actor.

Like if you're doing a movie like Shah Rukh Khan or Salman Khan, you can do a movie for some time, then you can take a break. But if you're caught in a pretense and you've gone in the way of pride, then for the spiritual performance you constantly have to do, because you're constantly surrounded by people, you can never stop acting. That is the most... I would not wish that life on an enemy, isn't it? Why would you wish that? It sounds very glamorous. But suppose that you were offered—you're a casting director—but suppose you were offered a role that you just play this role of Ma Gauri, Ma Sri 108 Gauri Ma. All you have to do is, you know, just keep your eyes open wide, get a mala in your hands, and just bless everyone. At least some of the people you bless, their wishes will come true, so they're forever bound. You will meet 100 people, 10 will become your forever devotees and they start funding you, you know? And there's good money, you don't have to work, everybody's carrying you everywhere, touching your feet. All that is fine, but in your heart, you know that you're having to play a role, you see? So every day you play that, every day play that.

So I saw one teacher called Radhe Maa on TV. So she said on TV for an interview, they were asking her, 'What are you doing this for?' and like that. So she's like... so I felt so bad for her. Some were laughing at this. There's one story which is not so nice actually, where a young boy, you know, of 10 or 11, has been put up to act like this by his parents and he's being taught some dialogues. He just goes and repeats 10, 15 dialogues and then people, because they need somebody to rely on, they started treating him like a Guru. Now this little boy is doing product endorsements or jewelry brands. He's doing all... he's an influencer for real. So he's doing influencing, he's doing all of this work, and his parents have just put him up to it. It's so sad. He's losing his whole childhood in that acting all the time. The little girls who've been taught like that, people come touching their feet. She's like a poor child; she should be in school or she should be playing with friends, you know, jumping or something like that. She's been made to do all this acting.

There was a movie with Raju Guide, then there was something with the rain coming and then he pretended he was a... he had to fast for like... we made him... somebody said we have to fast and he was just doing his... I mean, he was just doing that for money. It's a big thing, you know? The minute you start to take your own pretense seriously, like this boy, the day he starts to believe that he is that and it was not acting, it was not some word learning, then he's caught in that Ravana trap. There's no way.

But didn't Ravana love until the end? He still worshiped, but he still felt something. He worshiped him for things, for power, for weapons, for strength in battle. He no longer liked Shiva. And of course, in the TV serials and all that, like, I don't feel like somebody could have written the Shiva Tandava Stotram if he always prayed to Shiva for something like that. That's how he's depicted now.

Just see what changes within a person to make him feel that he's more than God, he's more than... the day you start to take yourself to be special. I'm able to say all this authoritatively because I could have easily been one of them. In fact, I was going in that trajectory. You feel that you're feeling something by coming to satsang. The day I start to think it's because of me, I've brought in my pride. If I don't give the credit where it is due—it is God's love, God's mercy, God's grace that He has blessed this situation with His presence. The minute I say 'I can do it,' because no human can do it. All power comes, all grace, all love comes only from God. So the minute you start to say 'me,' there's no stopping Ravana, there's no stopping. Because then the man just wants to become God within. I've seen people who get irritated if you take the name of God. That is the way to hell, you see? And then what happens is what will happen to them.

So what must our approach be about them? That is worth contemplating. Most of them have true insight, had true insight, had true awakening, had true Atma Gyan. Then they got lured, like what is the story of Vishwamitra? Then they got trapped, ensnared by Maya in that way. So must we hate them? Not hate them, not anger, but we must not hate them. We must have compassion for them because he was one who could have drawn the trajectory of Tulsidas Ji. All of these people have gone in that direction but got deflected by things of the world and people of the world in such a short time.

So if you read that actually, the essence of it is full of humility. Whenever Tulsidas Ji speaks of himself, such a great... to my mind, if you hear this from your mind, it falls, you know? Yeah, no, it's not. But say if you just hear it from an obnoxious place, many times you say like that, maybe you're not even feeling like it, but a good reminder for yourself. So I'm not feeling like I'm the dust of God's feet, I'm feeling very grand, I've said some good things, I must be saving everybody. So if I say, 'But I'm just the dust on the Lord's feet,' then hopefully I'm still hearing what's coming out. So maybe that can also be a good reminder. Job, nothing so great. Like the Sages have told us that they are nothing and God is everything, then who are we? And for what? Maximum you'll get the whole world, maximum. Anything more than that you can get? Maximum you'll get this whole world and then what happens? They still meet God and say, 'You want to stay with me?' but you wanted the world, all of it. It's not like that, you know.

But what I'm also looking at is that it's in that moment if something comes up and I have to like... how you said, that 'I'm right in this situation' or 'I want to make it without sugar' then 'I want to have it like...' In everyday matters, it just, you know, comes in. If I'm not... if you ask me the bigger picture, I don't want that, but like, it's not attractive. But the smaller things, we have to work on it in this point.

It's not good to say, it's not enough to say, 'Oh, I'm a very good person but I get angry sometimes.' Then you're not a good person. It's not enough to say, 'Oh, I'm very pure, I'm so beautiful, I'm just for God, but sometimes I'm just being manipulative because I'm full of lust.' Then you're not pure and for God. So to bring ourselves truly in the spotlight, to get out of that syndrome where everyone thinks they're so good, 'I am so good.' Then what's the problem? You're sure you're going to be with God forever? Then you're sure that you're going to be with God forever? I'm fast-forwarding. So we have to constantly look at what blocks are, like what blocks are living in His presence, what blocks are following His will. Those small things where you want to follow 'my way' rather than God's way. Those small things make the big thing which is our life. There is no big thing that happens like that. Those crunch moments are only in movies and books. Most of our lives are tiny, tiny, tiny decisions.

Like in this moment, you're meeting... maybe start making excuses for ourselves that my bad behavior is special because mine is coming from God, yours comes from pride. That's what so-called Gurus say: 'Don't question me. What you are doing is bad, what I am doing is good.' One person's story is coming up.

So I don't say... let's say at onsite when you're working in a software job, let's say we have 10 mainframe programs. The client asks for a Java person. The manager will come and say, 'Okay, you go and say that you know Java. From tomorrow, you are the Java Guru in this area.' So the client doesn't know anything. So this guy goes and starts talking like he knows Java. He'll go do some basic reading. At onshore, there will be some Java expert who will support him overnight. So he'll start acting. Slowly, slowly, slowly, in a week, he will start giving his own dialogues which cannot be met by anybody. It sounds something like that. Then he falls in the trap of, you know, saying something, saying himself to be the Java Guru. He doesn't think it's pretense anymore.

From the park the other day, the first time I said this, what I realized is so true. And I said, 'I want all of you to become Sages. I want all of you...'

Onshore, there will be some Java expert who will support him overnight, so he'll start acting slowly, slowly, slowly. In a week, he will start giving his own dialogues which cannot be met by anybody. It sounds something like that. Then he falls in the trap of, you know, saying something, saying himself to be the Java expert. He doesn't think it's pretense anymore. In the park the other day, the first time I said this, what I realized is it's so true. And I said, I want all of you to become saints. I want all of you to become saints. That is my aspiration for you. I don't want you to want enlightenment or freedom. I mean, it's maybe a prerequisite to become a saint, but then you make it about some experience, or you'll make it about like, 'I have passed the exam.' A saint is merely in love with God and lives only with God, only cares about being with God. You care about showing how much you know, showing how much enlightenment you have, how many books you read, how many concepts are in your head. All these things are easy to spot there; they are very difficult to spot here. You've got to work, look, know nothing.

I volunteer online for Atma Yoga, so for tomorrow's quote, I had to select the content and I didn't do it. So I just had to share it with them, so I'm good for that.

I speak also very soft and I eat up half the words. Like the Westerners, when they started coming to me, many of them said, 'We love you, but we can't understand anything. Your accent we can't understand, your mumble also we can't understand.' And there were some of them coming to me who, while I was not understanding, Shanti had a very strong Australian accent. So when she started coming, I still can't understand what she says. So we had a strange relationship. I think we got along better when we were not understanding each other. Like Shyam who comes, he doesn't understand anything I say. Yeah, he's so... like, if he started to understand what I'm saying, would he still love me? He even came to the Saturday satsang. And on Saturday, when I was on, I would find a flaw in every story. You can find a flaw in every story. Even things, even stories that you witnessed with your own eyes, you can years later find a flaw and say, 'That would never have happened.' So I realized that, okay, does that do me good?

And what happened? The mind loves to buy the most, like, most absurd-sounding story. Suppose what would happen? Ananta actually went to the Himalayas and something was blocking a spring, so he picked up a big piece of ice and he threw it in the sky, and that block of ice is Iceland. You'd say, 'Wow!' Exactly. That's exactly what I'm talking about. One absurd story. But what is it that would help me on the inside? There are two things that can happen. One is we can become stupid on the outside; we can just start getting more and more caught up in the mind, which is the possible downside of this blindness that we can get into. But the other is that if you use that in that devotion, saying that, 'In Your power, everything can happen. Who am I to judge Your power? What am I to say this will not happen?' Because in my life itself, so many things which were so unexpected have played out by Your grace. I'm nobody to make a judgment about anything, and in my faith, You are all-powerful. So two things are then very different. The innocence that that gives you is very helpful for you to remain like little children at the feet of God.

Maybe the point will be better when better words come. Get a sense of... there are things which you never understand about this. The most important thing is that God's presence lives within ourselves. Isn't that the most absurd thing? We take ourselves anyway to be a bundle of food. So all the paratha, chapati, rice, sambar, iced tea that is eaten, God chooses to live within that. But does it feel like that? Does it seem like that? Do you find this presence when you look within? Not within this bundle of flesh, but it seems like that, it feels like that is within your Self, the higher Self. But if you're looking at it rationally, how can God be here? This building was constructed with brick and mortar. Where is the body? It's not rational. So it must make us childlike, but also make us turn inside. Then we are safe. Because if we become childlike again but on the outside, grasping on the outside, then we can get into trouble and blind faith.

Faith is not blind. It is the most intelligent. Is it faith? No, it's the most intelligent, but it is not rational. We have taken rationality to be intelligence. It is not true. With any rationality, we could not create one speck of nature, one speck of the waking state. We could not create life, we could not create presence, we could not create being, we could not create love, we could not create kindness, we could not. So beyond the rational, beyond the intellect, that's why Zen, that's why 'Who am I?' inquiry, all take us beyond the intellect. But most people get stuck in the box of intellect. Most people who call themselves Jnana Yogis, they are just stuffing their head with nonsense. 'More and more I remember this also, now I understand this also, I got this.' And then you die without meeting God, without being with God. Your head is full. So all of this should lead to Atma Gyan. You're not using it to show others how much I know. I faced a lot of this. Two scholars write in Sanskrit. Maybe I can write in Sanskrit, but then my brothers and sisters who are just people like you and me will not be able to understand. You become an elite sort of club; only those who know Sanskrit can understand this story.

Gyan is for everyone. So this type of prejudice is everywhere. People always want to put others down. This orphan boy who considered Sita Ji and Ram Ji to be there, and they actually used to take care of him. So what to do with that story? We can go either way with it. Maybe the whole thing started from his parents abandoning him, and he started imagining. You can see that. You can see it. But who will it be to take care of him? The first part is also using Ram, and the other one is faith. Because the mind will hear the second version, and yet the same thing is also on the downside. That's what I mean by the balance. Just like we are just ignoring everything, all the signs are there, something is not right, and we just... but the heart is talking to us. It is not telling us, guiding us to deepen in that thing. We just got so mentally trapped in some ideas. So that is the idea of Zen.

So what you should be asking is, 'Then Ananta, why did you say about that little boy? Then should we not just consider Krishna?' Why are you saying I'm ruining his life? That's to take that in to God on the inside. It is helpful. Otherwise, when we just start clamoring for things on the outside, then that becomes an unhealthy thing. Clamoring for things on the outside, would you still be like, 'Benefit from my relationship'? You wanting to find a way to circumvent the path that God has laid out for us because we are in too much pain. Daily existence is too painful. So we don't turn inwards and say, 'God is here, God loves me, still He is here, I can trust His will.' All that. Instead, 'God is just waiting, just add a G to your name and then all your problems will go away. You'll find the perfect relationship, you'll get all the money in the bank, all your diseases will go away. God is just waiting for that extra G.' I've got the same as astrologers. We take ourselves to be more intelligent than that. Humanity has figured out all the mechanisms. Then even though God loves us, but He will love us more if you had a G. Then so be faithful to your heart, be faithful to God.

We can get into more of this outer... since we lay out some form and say, 'Beautiful.' At one level, very stupid; at another level, very beautiful. But if it doesn't lead to a deepening of our relationship with Him in our heart, you see that? Then externally, it's just an embodiment of my feeling in my heart. Then we are getting into the wrong thing. I'm feeling offering Him on the outside, but that is just a reflection of offering my head on the inside. That should be it. It becomes... the glass was half full, now it's full. We get trapped in this kind of Maya. We are just waiting for... and how many signs we want God to send us that He is real, He exists, He lives in us? Every day you want a new sign that you're breathing? Now that's a sign. Your heart is beating? That's a sign.

So true faith and stupidity is a very fine line. And how to... it's very difficult to live in God's will, to pray to Him. If your intention is to be in God's will, then you're taken care of. You can't fake it. Yeah, actually I want a better life, but in pretense, 'Yeah, I just want to live in God's will.' If you want to live in God's will so you have a better life, you still want a better life, not God's will. So no astrologer, no tarot card. Parents force you, and sometimes they do some check. It's okay. You don't have to go anywhere with fear because you are lacking faith in God. Then He is going to a movie, you know the next scene. Then after that, the next scene will be there. Then you'll go again, 'Tell me.' He'll tell you, 'Okay, next scene.' Suppose he's really good, tells you the next scene. Okay, movie spoiled. I already know. What is the fun in meeting life for the first time? I only want to know because I'm scared. I'm scared of what will happen in this movie because I take it to be me, the ego. That's why I want to know.

Would anyone go to an astrologer if they were not scared? I don't care. Why would anybody? The best movie we've ever seen, you want to move the next scene forward? You want to live through it fresh. Nobody wants spoilers. You go to see a movie, just like, who's your favorite actor? 'Hi Auntie, I saw this movie. It starts off well, then somebody comes and kills him.' What would you feel? But in life, you want to know what's next. You're scared, you want reassurance, then you'll be fine. So in one way or the other, you get that reassurance, you see? So you feel better. Instead of that, just say in that, 'He's taking care of it.'

Father, when I see it, it used to just perpetuate the fear and nothing else. And also nobody could tell. Like, you can tell, but things change at such a rapid speed, you know? And I will say something, but then it can go in a billion different directions, you know? It just like, changes things. And that, like, it never takes me closer to God. It just is like a wish list.

Only one card is in the mind. Just take yourself to be a fool for God, like an innocent child. Have you heard of any Kabir Ji going to a tarot reader or astrologer? Faith in God. You can go find out when I've gone to some... I chilled out for 20, 30 years. Come on this day. But for four, maybe three or four hours, I pretended to be a hand reader, an expert hand reader. Extreme success, hand reader. Yeah, I have no clue. She's preparing her hand. You see, so much I can say. Anything. After a couple of things, then anything you say, they need them a second time. Then next time, then you'll know. No, they have all the right reasons. 'You did not have enough devotion.' It's always your fault. It's never the astrologer's fault, never the guru's fault. Primal faith. It is always... it's like, 'You have four uncles.' 'No, no, only three.' 'No, no, but the fourth one is also very close.' So almost like I told you, I can see he's right here.

When we are fearful, life is scary. And when you're fearful, then all the same... very... that is the lack of faith. When I was an atheist or just turning to spirituality, just started to turn to spirituality, then I would go to the site called Cyber Astro. Cyber Astro. There used to be a weekly chart that was green, red, black. So you would see. So if you were to open it and you're seeing all blacks coming, after that you're just like, 'What a terrible week.' You see all greens and blues, you're so happy. You're just looking for that sort of predictability, some sense of control over this uncontrollable stimulus all around. This body is going to die. 27, apparently she's interested in the idea of 27. I got married between that. I don't know what happened. It must be a fluke like this morning. 34, at the age of 34, the old me died. You know, it seems to be... then some trigger comes. That's why that part of it always has to be kept in servitude. The instant you start feeling like it's real, you've lost it.