Inquiry Is to See Where This 'I' Is Pointing to - 15th November 2017
Saar (Essence)
Ananta guides seekers to shift from the mind's 'why' to the self-inquiring 'who,' revealing that suffering only exists for a presumed personal identity that does not actually exist in reality.
The mind loves 'why' because there is no answer; find out 'who' you are first.
The one who starts the inquiry is finished by the inquiry.
The mask of the 'me' is the mask of suffering; wearing it to seek freedom is the trap.
contemplative
Transcript
This transcript is auto-generated and may contain errors.
The problem is this table, this concept, this notion. And you're absolutely right that the way to—some of the most powerful ways to get over this suffering because of these notions, as has been suggested by the sages, is to either surrender or to inquire. Now you say that 'I inquire and I ask myself why.' Now you have to change one letter in that inquiry. Instead of W-H-Y, change it to W-H-O. Because the mind loves 'why.' Why does it love 'why'? Because there is no 'why.' And this is where you will get the most resistance from the mind. Why are we here? There is no 'why.' What is the purpose of this? There is none. What does it all mean? Nothing. It seems like that is the worst news. To the mind, that is the worst; this makes you feel meaningless. So it loves playing with this question 'why.'
But inquiry means—the fun thing is that as you ask 'who' and you come to this seeing clearly more and more, then the question 'why' will not have a verbal response, will not have a conceptual answer, but you will know. I will try to explain it as if it's play, or as if it is trying to experience ourselves as something new—all these answers—but you know that none of these are the answers. So you will not know it conceptually. So then the mind will come and say, 'See, now I'm inquiring, but even inquiry is not working. The inquiry is wrong or is not fruitful.' Let's put it like this: 'why' has no real answer in science, in philosophy, in religion. Everybody's grappling with the question 'why.' Find out 'who' first. Why? Who? 'Why is this happening to me?' Find out 'who' is 'me.' That is the way to do the inquiry.
Now some of you get tired of inquiring. 'I don't want to do inquiry, Father, I'm tired of it.' That is fine too. I can find the new letter 'T': 'my problem.' You want to keep it your problem also, and then you want to presume that inquiry is something you can do. If you're really there, it's a struggle. If you inquire now, and what—not even for the personal benefit, not even with an expectation—isn't it relevant that we know who we are even if we didn't get anything because of it? Isn't it tasty? It has been made into such a major question, but wouldn't it be relevant to know who you are even if you didn't get any benefit out of it? You're presuming yourself to be something and I am telling you that it is not true. Isn't it worth exploring at least a little?
See, now this might be the problem because you might feel like there's a 'me' who is suffering and then this 'I' comes and replaces that suffering for the 'me.' Now this is what I'm trying to show you: the 'I' which you are. There are not two of you. There's one 'I' that you are. Now, without the presumption of the 'me,' there is no suffering. And every time there is a presumption of the 'me,' it is bound to be followed by suffering. So although the initial motivation might seem like it is for the 'me' to get rid of the suffering—that 'I am doing the self-inquiry'—what do you find when you do the self-inquiry? You see that the 'me' doesn't escape the self-inquiry. There is no 'me' left to support or not support. Some in psychology say the one who starts the inquiry is finished by the inquiry.
But many times what happens is that you take it deep, like you take a dip in the Ganga. You dip in, and then you dip out: 'Oh, me is back.' From where did you come then? Is this 'me' just a belief system, isn't it? It is a very slippery sort of a belief system which is always changing the target. And then it's only freedom sometimes; only freedom from something else; sometimes it only wants a relationship; sometimes it only wants money. See, where is this one? Yes, so you say it is in the thinking. The thinking is gone. Then you say it is in the future. And I think again, this is how it is. I'm saying thinking is gone right now; you are free. Then the thinking itself will come and say, 'But what about when I come back?' But again, it is gone.
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Our natural state is that in which identity is gone. We have this misconceived notion that we are constantly living as the identity. Actually, identity comes and goes. It might come and go many times. So it feels like it is a constant stream, whereas our constant experience is that of being free. Right now, your experience is that of being free right now. Now one thought will come and you might pick up some identity for a few moments. So predominantly, even in the phenomenal plane, most of humanity actually is free. That's exactly why I asked the question, and I can see clearly: why do I believe?
Once this 'why' is answered many times and you know the answer, so I'm not indulging in that question. If you know that as long as consciousness wants to play as an individual entity with its individuality, it will continue to. But the more important thing is that even though this belief might come, even though the pretend suffering might play out, what is really happening to you? Has anything ever really happened to you? Has there ever been one who actually suffered? Has there really been a sufferer that we saw? Is the pretend one more suffered? Indeed, suffering the infinite—it is seen there is no sufferer. It cannot—it cannot land, this suffering. So it cannot touch without this one. When you see that there is no sufferer ever, then actually what is suffering? So it is only the presumed sufferer which forms the landing strip for the suffering.
Why do I believe that? Because consciousness is choosing to suffer with this question right now. If this was not there right now, what is your state? See, sometimes even in this suffering, even in these very inquiries, haunting cards, there is looking 'I.' When you are saying 'Why do I believe thoughts?' are you asking my power to believe thoughts? The Self in His dynamic form is between thoughts. Sense is doing—the consciousness is doing what consciousness is doing. But I know that mostly when this question is asked, it is mostly like, 'Am I the dungeon? Why is my body-mind still believing?' You do not exist. You don't have the power of belief. Who is the 'I' even in this question? Is the inquiry same? Presume on.
Exactly, this is how the mind will use even the things that you hear in Satsang and try to use that as an ally for its individuality. What I often say—'don't believe your next thought'—is not a personal strategy. Because if you try to make it a personal strategy as an antidote for suffering or something, then the mind will come up to these kind of questions. Though you know that to be free from suffering you just have to drop your belief, but look at you, you just keep believing all the time, telling you the story of the presumed self. Even 'don't believe your next thought' relies on your seeing that which you say 'I can see clearly,' which is reliant on that 'I' playing as consciousness, not that small 'I' which is playing as the engine.
There is no pointing here for that wisdom one because that itself is the root of all suffering. It will take whatever you hear in Satsang and use it for its own means. This is this consciousness reminding consciousness. Now if you say 'why,' but it is consciousness, how to remind consciousness? There is no 'why.' This is part of the play. Consciousness reminding consciousness that it is not that limited one, it is not the presumed one. And this is naturally what is in this moment. The mind will convince you first to pick up the mask of the 'me' and then say, 'Now solve it for me.' That is why inquiry is to see where this 'I' is pointing. Am I the masked one pretending to want thing, who want to get rid of freedom? The mask itself is suffering. The mask of the 'me' is the mask of suffering, and then wearing that mask tries to play the game of getting rid of suffering.
There is nothing for this 'I' to do. There is nothing for this masked one to do. But I am reminding myself as consciousness. There is time that we are done with this once. So inquire now for the sake of the truth. Don't even inquire for any psychological benefit, any physical benefit, any body benefit, because that expectation itself will keep that presumed 'me' on your back. You see that 'my depression should go,' 'my something should happen'—this keeps you strapped into the 'me.' As I asked you the question: is it worth it to find out who I really am, even if there was no benefit?
The Thread Continues
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