In Hard Times We Realize Concepts Are Worthless - 7 June 2016
Saar (Essence)
Ananta emphasizes that conceptual knowledge fails during life's hardships; true liberation is not 'getting' something new, but the destructive process of losing the false sense of a separate ego through simple, open allowing.
When life hits you, no concept helps; all conceptual knowledge is completely worthless.
I didn't 'get' anything; at best, I lost the false idea that I am a person.
The simple allowing and openness to whatever arises is the end of suffering.
intimate
Transcript
This transcript is auto-generated and may contain errors.
Actually, over here we have Lionel who was not physically feeling very well. His body was not well over the past few days and he said something very beautiful. He said that when this was happening, all this awareness, Consciousness, all of this was nonsense. And he said, "I only remembered one thing which you said, which is that when life hits you, then no concept helps." All conceptual knowledge, you see, is completely worthless. It doesn't help. You can keep repeating to yourself, "I'm just the witness, I'm just the witness." It doesn't help. "I'm only awareness, I am the being in which all of this is happening." Just conceptual knowledge.
And I know this, like that was the story which I was sharing. I know this firsthand, that conceptually what needed to be known was known many years ago even here. Even some glimpses of what was true was experienced, but not until I came to Mooji's feet did I realize the permanence of the Atma and the temporary nature of the ego. So if you would ask me even before I met him, all the words possibly could have been similar, but they would just be coming mostly from a mental place.
Even some of you know the story that for a few years there was a struggle to find this I-amness, because "I Am That" was such a strong influence here. Mostly strong because I knew in some sense that it's true what is being shared, but also very frustrating because I could never fathom: what is this I am? And every Satsang, inevitably Maharaj would talk about the sense I am. So then what happened is that, being fully frustrated like this—what is this I am, what is this I am—one day when that question just dropped and I was sitting in an auto-rickshaw without doing anything, without any inquiry, just because naturally it was so clear that this being has always been here. And the mind, the trickster that it is, comes and says, "See, how did you miss this so long? How could you miss this?"
But even this sense, this sense of being, the sense of existence, was handed over to the mind most likely. So even if you were to ask me then, "So who are you in reality?" I most likely would have said, "I am that awareness which is aware even of being." But it was not completely digested food till I met Guruji and I saw that this is reality: that I am the Atma and the movements of this body-mind mechanism are just appearances appearing within my own being as I.
Very often we say, even I say, that let's not be in a rush to share. And mostly, even with true insight, you will find me rarely responding to a sharing which is fresh. This is the, we can say, critical time. And if everybody starts indulging you right now, then very easily that can become the spiritual ego without even realizing. Very easily you can take on this idea that "I got it." Then it becomes next to impossible to get through. So this play plays like this. One of the most difficult ideas to dislodge verbally is the idea that "I got it." Then only suffering has to come in this logic.
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And before meeting Guruji, actually in 2009, I've said "I've got it" many times. And after meeting him, I've never said—I don't recall saying—that I got it. Because truly there's nothing really that I got. Maybe at best what we can say is that I lost it. What did we lose? The false idea that I am a person. The concept of being a separate ego was lost. So did we really get it? Did we get anything? Is it an additive process in any way? It's only a destructive process. It destroys the non-existent. So don't allow this idea that "I got it," "I've got to the pinnacle of the truth," or something like this to set in.
The better proclamation is that I cannot find this sense of separation. There can be great disbelief that it even existed here, and you find great wonder in this presumption. You find great wonder when you look around in the world and see it's so prevalent. And it was so prevalent here, this idea that I am a separate individual, I'm an entity that exists. The entity that owns this body, that owns my relationships, that owns my bank account, that owns my future plans, that got some freedom or is not finding freedom. Who is this one?
The question "Who am I?" is one of the most beautiful gifts in this world because not only does it wipe away the false, it is also a beautiful pointer to the true recognition of what we are. For in this moment, everything from the past has already been thrown away. Don't try to even throw away anything; it's already gone. But very quickly for most of you, the invitation will come from the mind to come and dance with it, any of its ideas. Just allow this invitation to come and it will take many shapes and sizes. It will even say, "I can't do this." It will say, "Oh, but he said I'm not the doer, so how do I do this?" All of this, just allow it to come and go. Just keep the intention to allow it to go; that is enough.
If you feel like there is a power you have called intention, then just keep the intention to allow it to come and go. It is enough. Become used to this allowing. You're not trying to become the witness; witnessing is happening naturally. You're not even trying to control your attention. Attention can also be allowed to move around. Allow everything. Drop any sense of control. This simple allowing, this simple openness, is the end of suffering.
No mental understanding is enough when the rubber hits the road and the body becomes sick, or our relationships are going to pieces, or we are out of money, and when we realize that this entire seeking is a sham, not getting us anywhere. When these things happen, if you only have a concept of who we are, if you only have an idea about it but we are still victim to our mind, we still feel tormented by our thoughts, then that is not the end of suffering.
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