In Freedom, Everything Can Come, Everything Can Go - 6th May 2022

Yes.

And there was a prior experience where this sense of lack was not there. It used to feel completely complete.

Yes.

Now, the sense of lack, it's just a mind trick. There is no lack right now because that would mean that God is not enough right now. God was enough then?

Yes, maybe I feel that.

So this is a very powerful trump card. There's a mind play sometimes saying that your prior reality was very full, but now there is something missing. It's not the same, you see. There is something wrong. And it utilizes this kind of imagery from memory, you know. It projects all kinds of things saying you were so free then, all of those things. All of it in an attempt to be in denial of God right now. So your presence, your being, your consciousness—is it lacking? Is it less?

No, in itself it is not, but in my expression it feels like—in my expressions it feels like I am lacking.

So expression has nothing to do with it. And I want to tell all of you this because all of you at some level may be judging yourself based on this expression. What comes out of this mouth, how the hands move, how the feet move—that has nothing to do with freedom. Freedom is free to use this body instrument to express in any which way. What you are realizing is that you are not this body. This body is an appearance along with the rest of the world. So isn't the whole world your expression?

Isn't the whole world my expression? Yes, maybe.

Why is this body only your expression? Sometimes in satsang we use these constructs just to clarify some things, but this is not the final pointing that, okay, this is your expression, this body is your expression. In the light of your being, this entire world emerges and there is no distinction, there is no separation between anything in the world. And this body is just another perception within the world. So like we say, let this be, let the world be, then it must include the body also be. So if you pressurize yourself in this way—and last time also we spoke about exactly the same thing—if you pressurize yourself in this way, that your freedom must be well embodied in this one body, then nobody can do it, you see. Nobody can do it. Your consciousness is all there is, and you are beyond even that consciousness. You are beyond even that all there is. Now how will this body express all there is? You see, when the body has to go left also, it has to go right also. It has to speak truth also, it has to speak lies also. It has to go up also, it has to go down also. All there is, you see. You have to stand still also and jump up also. How will this expression represent consciousness? And is that what we are really after? See, is our quest for freedom so that we can give something special to this expression? Is it about freedom of this expression? Is it that I come to freedom, I realize that I am awareness beyond even the play of consciousness, so that this realization helps me as a body or an expression, whatever term you want to use? Now the mind will tell you, but if this expression doesn't change, you see, it's still angry words are coming out of the mouth and actions don't seem like actions of an enlightened being, then what is the point of freedom? It plays like that, isn't it? Now what is the point of this freedom then, you know? So the point never was to give something to this body. The point was you as consciousness to come back, to stop playing the play of being limited, to come back into its true recognition, its true realization. Is that not available fully right now?

Yes. I could not hear the last question, last thing.

Is the recognition of your true nature not available right here, right now?

It is available.

So now cut off the linkage that that recognition should mean something for this expression. That's how arrogance comes. Arrogance means what? You try to be something special in this body because you have come to some realization of what you are. That is arrogance, that 'I know, I have found the truth.' Is the truth saying that the truth never lost the truth? So if you make the linkage again between the recognition and how this one should play out, see, then that is the fertile ground for arrogance. What should happen once you recognize yourself? What should happen to the body? It should become all like sadhu-like, you know? Is it like that? What should happen?

I was not talking about the body. I was talking about the peace and the bliss and joy. I was talking about that.

Yes, yes, yes. Okay. So peace, joy, bliss—they are in service to whom? Who are they created for?

They are there. They are just...

Yeah. So consciousness—if you have to build a narrative of some sort, we can say that consciousness projects these primal forces: love, peace, and joy. And here we're not talking about that which is inherent in the Self itself; we are talking about that which can be objectively tasted. Ah, there's so much love, you know, like that. Oh, there's so much peace, you see. So we're talking about these aspects, not that which is inherent in the Self itself, which is just beyond in-qualities. But if you're talking about these, then the creator of these must also be consciousness, isn't it?

Yes.

And they are here to serve whom? Tell the mind to serve. They're here to serve consciousness itself. For consciousness's own joy, for consciousness's own entertainment, there are love, peace, and joy. So the one that is tracking these is saying this should be more or this is not enough. But consciousness is not making a mistake with that. Are we in this quest for freedom so that we can have more love, peace, and joy?

No.

Leave them. Thank you. That's it. That's it.

But I want to confirm also my seeing that what I practice as the being, is it that true? Is that true? Like the pointing is to allow the things and be as I am, and not getting involved. Is it okay? Is it okay to follow that?

It's very good. It's very good. Are you aware now?

Yes, I'm aware now.

Now how you can—how do you confirm this?

Because I am aware.

Yes, but do you see this aware?

No, I am aware. I am aware. I know this is my knowing that I am aware.

Yes, but knowing means what? You have a concept of this? No. So it's neither a seeing that is—it's neither a perception nor is it conceptualizing, isn't it? Now you cannot do that wrong. It is impossible to do it wrong. You can only do it wrong in the objective search. You cannot do it in the unobjective search. You can only do it wrong when you're searching phenomenally. So you say, okay, is this a phone? No, no, it's a typewriter. You know, some of you kids may not know what a typewriter is, but this you can mistake in the phenomena. Oh no, no, this is—you're mistaken about this, you see. Or you may mistake it in the head. You may say, oh, what is the capital of India? Mumbai. No, no, no, you're mistaken. That's actually New Delhi. No? So that's a conceptual error. One is a perceptual mistake of labeling what we may be calling something. But this, which is neither perceptual nor conceptual, you cannot make a mistake. Impossible. You can't. I mean, try to be a mistake. You can't do it. Thank you. So this stacking doubt, I know, beats up many of you and says, 'How do I know? Father says, am I aware now? He comes to a discovery, I come to a discovery. Maybe is it the same?' How many of you felt these at times? This is very common. You may not expose it now, but 'Am I really doing this right? Am I really doing this right? Am I aware now? Yes. So what's the big deal? I don't get it. Why does Ananta make such a big deal out of it? I'm aware. No fireworks, no siddhis, no love, peace, joy. Now I must be doing this wrong because I can't sit and share satsang like he does or Guruji does.' See? So what is it? What's missing? 'I must be doing something wrong.' So this is the voice of the snake, no, in your head which goes, 'No, no, must be something. Something must be wrong somewhere,' you see. But you can't do this wrong because you are not going anywhere. This is so inherently true for all of you that it is impossible to do it wrong. You could be doing it wrong if you are mistaken, like a dark empty place to be awareness. See, you close your eyes and you see some darkness. I feel, oh, this must be awareness because it's so spacious, you see. But when I ask you, are you aware now, are you referring to the darkness as yourself? No. You're referring to something which is not in time, it is not in space. And that is what your mind hates because your mind is not in this bus, it is not on this party. This is, 'Prove it to me you found the truth.' So they say, 'Prove it to me you found the truth. Then we will say, where is the love? Where is the peace? Where are the followers? Where are the disciples? Why aren't people queuing up to hear you speak if you're free?' All this nonsense is what it will sell to you. And it'll say, 'You know what? What happened one year ago, two years ago, three years ago, that was really it because how much love was there, how much peace was there.' See? So this is falling for the mind's trick. This is falling for the mind's trick. If you are judging yourself based on these things, you're falling for the mind's trick because the mind cannot come to that recognition which you can come to, that you are coming to, all of you, in the simplicity of a question like 'Are you aware?' If you don't burden it with what should happen to me, it's just freedom is available. It's fully here. It's yours. Unless you want to make it yours. This is the conundrum. So in the spiritual marketing, we hear about love, peace, joy being our constant state, all of that. Leave that. It is all spiritual marketing. Forget about it. We are here because you want the truth. And the truth is like this: it does not come and go. It does not change. It is not perceivable. It is not understandable. It is not articulatable. It's none of these things. And it is your very nature. That is why it is the truth. So this is one thing. Everything else in life you may do wrong; this is very difficult to mess up. This is very difficult to mess up. When I say, 'Are you aware now?' and you instantly confirm, you see, unless you're just going to the mind and saying, 'Yes, yes, I know the answer to this,' or you're going to perception and saying, 'Nice...'

Go. It does not change. It is not perceivable. It is not understandable. It is not articulatable. It's none of these things. And it is your very nature; that is why it is the truth. So this is one thing: everything else in life you may do wrong, but this is very difficult to mess up. This is very difficult to mess up. When I say, 'Are you aware now?' and you instantly confirm, you see, unless you're just going to the mind and saying, 'Yes, yes, I know the answer to this,' or you're going to perception and saying, 'Nice dark empty space,' unless you're doing that, it is very difficult to get this wrong. So a simple way to say this is that if the question needs effort, you are doing it wrong. See, if it is an effortless confirmation, you're doing it right. You can't do it wrong. If you're trying, you've gone too far. Okay? So if you notice yourself trying—'Am I aware? There is a lot... why can't I find it?'—you see, then you're going in the wrong direction. You're looking for it as an experience, as a perception. Don't do that. It won't happen like that.

You see, then to go even further wrong is to say, 'Okay, okay, where are the benefits? Where are the benefits of this discovery? Where is my love? I was promised two kg of love if I found the truth. Where is that?' Forget about all that. Forget about it. Does he try to do it wrong now? Are you aware now? Yes, all of you. Are you aware now? Do it wrong. Like, who can do it wrong now? The only problem is your mind's question: 'So what?' That's the trouble. So what? There's my freedom. Can you forget about that? So what? Can you forget about all this? But so then neither position—that of being unenlightened nor that of being enlightened—really applies to the truth of who you are, isn't it? So let the world make those statements and claims and positions and all of that. We have nothing to do with these things.

That we will not fall into any arrogance, and don't ever get into a place where you are judging your friends, your family, and say, 'How unenlightened you are.' You are coming from ego. Another child who's telling you, 'You have gone so far from the truth.' You see all this? And neither you say, nor if somebody tells you, do you buy, because either way it is nonsense. There is no thermometer. There is no checking on this. Forget about all of this stuff. All effort, all trying, all judgment, all interpretation is just conceptual. So where does that leave you? Where does that leave us? It leaves us empty. It leaves us empty.

Are you free? Yes, you can see like innocently is good. But if you say, 'I am free,' you know, then I can smell something. And it's not about the same, but you can smell the fragrance of it. So I smelled the innocence of it, so I completely accept your statement. But if I smelled something when it went like, 'Yeah, yeah, yeah, free man,' you know, I'm just acting it out. It doesn't play that way. It may sound, try to sound still very sweet or whatever, but you can smell it on yourself. You can just smell it on yourself. So allow yourself to be empty like this and forget about the notion of enlightenment and unenlightenment. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Before we go to the next one, so if it is clear to you that you are aware, raise your hand like this. You are aware. Is it clear to you that there is no distinction between this 'you' and 'aware'? Whose is this not clear for? That 'I' and 'aware' is the same? Or are they two? An 'I' which owns, or where is there an 'I' like that which owns awareness? It's clear that 'I am aware' is the same? Okay. And when 'I am,' it is the same awareness which is now experiencing itself as being or tasting its own being? Is it like that? Okay. That's it then. That's it then. Because all questions, all confusion, all suffering is what we add to the story after that. 'I am,' but... but what about my human life? This is okay for spirituality, but don't I have a real life to run? Who's buying into this stuff? You know, into this stuff.

Okay, I'm coming. So this jugglery, who is it for? Is it for the truth? Is the truth that you are discovering just for satsang? Like this is the truth for satsang and there's a truth for the real world, so-called real world, the practical world? Or this is the truth, truth full stop? This is worth contemplating because somewhere there may be an idea, like Shadan and I were discussing last time, somewhere there may be an idea that I have to juggle both aspects of myself. See, I have to juggle both aspects of myself. I have to get 100 marks in my spiritual aspect and I have to get 100 marks in my practical aspect.

You see, now what is the substratum for all practicality? Your breath has to happen, your heartbeat has to function. You see all these? Without that, you can't be practical much, maybe for a few seconds. You see, now how are you being practical where these things are concerned? I tell you something else: no scientist has figured out—and I'm open to be corrected if this is wrong, I heard this from a credible source—no scientist has figured out what keeps the atoms of this body together, what makes it one seeming unit. See? So there is a force which is keeping all these atoms and molecules apparently, and this is speaking in a worldly way now. That is the most practical thing. If that force stopped working, then this body that we want to excel at practicality would not have any function.

So all of this stuff is happening anyway. You see, all of this stuff is happening anyway. Now on top of that you say, 'But practically I need to decide what to do next.' See? 'Practically I need to decide what to do next, and for that I need to use my mind.' See? But the mind is the most hopeless instrument to use for this one. It can't decide anything at all. It just offers a concept after concept after concept. Consciousness itself zeroes in onto them. The second thing is that the mind doesn't know how to do. It doesn't know how to speak. My mind doesn't know how these words are coming out. Your mind doesn't know how the listening is happening. You see? Your mind doesn't know. My mind doesn't know how to move a finger. Tell me if anybody's mind knows. You may have concepts about it, you may have ideas about brain chemistry and brain physics and all of that, but can you fire any of that? Like I keep saying, can you fire a neuron? Can your mind tell me how to fire one neuron, two neurons? Nobody can tell us.

So what is practicality that we are doing? We can't decide. You see, the right choice may not come up in the mind at all. So what is all this decision making about then? Consciousness may not choose to give the right choice. Belief may choose to go with the wrong concept. So this guy in the middle, which is neither consciousness nor the mind, you see, how is that going to play a part in this? So this practical life is it... in whose light is it shining? Shining in your being. In the light of your being, on the screen of your being. These are not just words. So in the light of your being, all of this beautiful, intricate play is being played out. So the notion of a non-existent one coming in the middle and running a practical life is completely fraudulent. See?

So either consciousness is running or the practical one is running. Now can you find this practical one? Where is it that he should run your life? If it is the mind, the mind doesn't know decision making or action. You see, choices or action are out of the scope of the mind. So who is this great practical one? And why is it that we believe that consciousness as this pure being cannot run a practical life when it can run so much? See? So isn't it just a mind's subtle attempt to make these categories of spirituality and practicality and get us involved in that kind of play and say, 'Yeah, yeah, because you are discovering something so immense about yourself that even the universes wake up within you.' This is what you are discovering within yourself: that the entire universe wakes up within you. You are discovering this. But what does the mind come and say? 'Yes, all this is okay for satsang. All this is okay for satsang, but what about your real life?' Come on. Can you see the nonsense?

And then he says, 'This is good. Thank you, Mr. Mind. This is good. I needed that because I was becoming too spiritual. You see, I was becoming too spiritual. So now I need to do the process of integration. So I, the non-existent one, will now integrate God and the world and the running of this body-mind's life in the world. I will integrate.' Who are you? Who are you? You don't exist. Because I must be God plus something. Like, God is running, that is not enough. I must be something extra to God, which is going to say, 'Discovering God in satsang, that is fine, but that one can't run the life of the body-mind in this world. That's where I come in.' Who is that 'I'? Has anybody ever found this one? So the non-existent one should run the practical life? Pure absurdity. Pure absurdity. Please rid yourself of this consequence. See, it is just mind survival tactics.

Then we say, 'I want this complete dissolution of the mind, till then I am not free. Only after manonasha am I free.' But then we ourselves believe in the categorization coming from the mind. So how will it happen? So for the practical life, you introduce this, and that's where you started, by the way. Are you seeing the trickery in this? You started with the question 'Who am I?' and you found who you are, which is beyond this universe. And then the mind again tells you the story: 'But that is just... oh, in satsang you are that. In the real life of practical life, you are still this one. Don't go too far.' And we go back to the same delusion, the same misidentification, because now we want to be Superman or Superwoman and we will integrate all this. You see, not only will we integrate, we will also embody God in one body. You see how God will become so tiny that we will embody? Like everywhere we go, we'll just be like God. How will the body go? And is God doing a bad job of embodying? Is there a need for these services? Have we asked? Like we are starting this whole new service, is there a need? Is God messing up?

Who's running this body? We have seen everything in the body is run by God already. So nobody should make these stupid mental categorizations. See? Because you've earned your freedom. You have been to enough satsangs, you have done enough inquiry, you earned your freedom. Now don't fall for this simple April Fool's Day trick and say, 'Yes, yes, very good, good job. And now, what about embodying? You forgot about that. Look, look, your teeth are not shiny enough, your eyes are not transmitting enough.' What do you want? And what embodiment do you want? How will this body represent God? Isn't the universe already representing everything to represent? So stop this rubbish kind of like emotional attachment to the body trying to be some great thing who can juggle all this. That one has to exist firstly. And then Advaita is there—no two. So if there's only God, then who is going to juggle God and the world?

Let's rest in God. Yes. No, nothing to worry. This may sound like it is advanced spirituality or something, that when we try to do these things it may seem like, 'Wow, I've come so far,' but actually it is still the sign of fear. Still a sign of fear that you don't want your world collapsing, or your so-called practical world or real world collapsing. What's the worst that can happen if you let go of your so-called practical life? What is the worst that comes? That much you, the non-existent one, cannot do. That your heartbeat will stop in your letting go? You see, breathing will also continue unless you learn some super advanced yoga or something; that will also go on. What is going to go so wrong? Relationships may fail? They failed in the past many times you've tried to manage. Nothing so great that you do. What else? You may not make enough money? You haven't made already. Try it this way. Nothing so much is gonna happen. And we all spot the mind trick in this. Let me spot the mind trick in this. Sorry, I'm sounding like a class teacher today, but I have to, have to express the way it comes. You can spot it or no? Because it's a very, very popular...

Something that will also go on. What is going to go so wrong? Relationships may fail; they failed in the past many times. You've tried to manage; nothing so great that you do. What else? You may not make enough money; you haven't paid already. Try it this way. Nothing so much is gonna happen. And we all spot the mind trick in this. Let me spot the mind trick in this. Sorry, I'm sounding like a class teacher today, but I have to, I have to express the way it comes. You can spot it or no? Because it's a very, very popular notion that now all of this is done, my spiritual search is over, now I need to manage both. I need to create the perfect, perfect painting of my life. I'm just going to mess it up like that. The painting is already perfect. It's already—enjoy the perfection every moment. You can see, you can see, you can hear, you can smell, you can taste, you can touch, and you are aware of all of these perceptions. A great light is shining in your heart. The light of God itself is shining in your heart. Meet all of this instead of projecting into some future and saying, 'This is what I have to do.' God is shining in your heart as your very presence. Your presence is the presence of the highest being, and this being is directing and acting in this movie perfectly. Perfect. Stop buying into these lies. Anything that tells you that you have to take on, take yourself to be what you are not, you see, don't trust that voice. Whatever reasoning it may give you, you have to pretend to be something that you're not, see? And again, I'm not talking about the expression of this body that can play however it has to play, and the intelligence can run the life of the body. There is no trouble in that. But if you have to truly believe yourself to be something that you are not, see, then that is the trickster voice. That is the snake's voice. And the snake is not your pet. Not yet. Okay. Okay, let's go to Claudia.

Hello, Father. Oh, my dear, I'm a little bit embarrassed now. I can't understand that because I should have lowered my hand after what you said now, but there's nothing to say. Uh, yes, but the question was about intuition we spoke about last time. And in this week, I realized that I have to give up all and to surrender because I did all not to get a flu with this December weather in Italy, and now I'm three days in bed. And there were—yes, but there, that was the question. Maybe I feel it as intuition, deep knowing, and it's not a sensation, not a feeling, that all runs like God wants. And even things that don't run well, uh, even taking a phone or writing a message or in every move, it's consciousness doing. It's—and this was my question: what this now is? Spiritual marketing again of my mind, or was it the really knowing here? And then it came up after what you spoke now. If it is really knowing, you don't have to ask because I feel that maybe I'm just coming up as like a child now and wanting to be hugged by you and to hear, 'You are doing well.'

That's very sweet. I love that. I love that. You know, since I love that honest integrity, yes, big, big, big hug. And you're doing very well. You're doing very well. In fact, even before you said that, I was just hearing the words and the fragrance is very good. I'm very happy. Very well. So just trust your heart, trust your intuition as you have been doing. Sometimes the doubt, the mind will doubt and say, 'How do you know that this is really intuition?' So intuition you can actually smell, and I have given you enough tips to distinguish between the mind and intuition. The mind is grasping. The mind wants particular outcomes, you see. The mind is in a rush. It says, 'No, no, I want now like that. Give me this,' you see. It's always projecting in past and future. Intuition is completely different in its fragrance. It's just no rush. The presence of peace is palpable in your intuition, and it's just natural. It is apparent, and you will notice that it is the intelligence which is available without having to work in the head, see? Your intuition is the intelligence which is available without any mental hard work needed, mental effort needed. So that's another tip for all of you. So if you have the notion that 'I have to work hard in my intuition' or 'I have to work at all in my intuition,' then that is not the intuition. And what can be confusing for the mind is many times intuition is silent, and that is why I'm telling you to trust that silence also.

Yes, you see, there's immediately there's the fear of mind coming back to, um, to fall in old habits and to interpret. So that's why now you have to be three days in bed to stay in silence. And, and yes, may I give to you this fear of going back in this explications?

Very, very good. Great music to my ears to hear your words today. Very, very nice. One tip I'll give you and to all of you: don't worry about what is why, you know, what is the reason behind anything, what is the cause behind anything. Why does something happen? Don't worry about that.

I know it is old habits, but it pops up. I can observe it.

But there is—it's just good to shine your light on this. This is good. Shine your light on this, and this is—noticing is enough. You don't have to feel guilty or anything. It is fine. It is completely fine. Just to notice is good. And that is why we often say Guru Kripa. That is the antidote for reasoning, to find reason for why everything happened. So why does anything happen? Masters, gurus, or why does anything happen? Consciousness, you see. Why does anything—why is the world like this? Consciousness. So everything 'why' is consciousness. Everything 'who' is worth discovering. Everything 'who' is worth discovering; everything 'why' is worth surrendering. Then, then we don't have to, have to conceptualize at all. We don't have to use our intellect at all. Say 'why' like Jesus. Why does this happen? It's okay. Conversationally we can say, 'Yes, it's very good it happened because I needed the rest' or 'I needed the time of contemplation.' That's all right. These things are fine as long as we are not taking that reasoning too seriously.

No, it makes no sense. It's—in the same moment I have to laugh about it. Yeah, but there's this fear to fall back in, in old habits.

Can we all lead our life without knowing why for anything? Why is there a pain in my foot? Consciousness. Why is there—why is the world so unfair? Consciousness. Why is everything? Consciousness. Internally, I keep reminding everyone, I'm speaking of your inward position. Outwardly you may be an activist, outwardly you may be fighting a war, outwardly all those things may be happening. It's fine. But inwardly we are not plagued by this constant rationalization, reasoning, because then we try to make sense of the world. We try to make sense of the world, but our sense is too small and the world is too—if our sense means our intellect, then our sense is too small and the world is too big for us to be able to rationalize the world. We cannot rationalize one moment of the world like that. Live like a plant. Live like a plant inwardly. Plants don't do this stuff. Okay, I don't know, I haven't spoken to a plant lately, but, but my feeling is they're quite peaceful inwardly.

How does the plant run their practical lives? I ask them here because I'm very in nature and very alone here. I ask them; they don't give me an answer. They do it in peace. To give any answer—is it raining? Why is it cold? I can't—they don't give me an answer. It's like that, and I accept.

That's very good. That, that is the same as to trust the silence of intuition. That's pretty good, you see. But, but if plants don't have these categories that 'I have this time where I'm completely at peace, silent, but then the other times that I have to grow branches, I have to grow flowers and have to grow fruits, who's gonna—God can't do that for me, so how do I do it?' It may sound absurd to you what I'm saying, but the humans' attempt to do the same thing is as absurd because there's no 'two.' There's no mechanism. The fact that one doesn't exist. So the one that runs the practical life of plants and animals can also run the practical life of this one without us needing to understand why. Such a joy. Really. May the body feel better soon. All my love. Thank you.

I live like a plant outwardly—sorry, inwardly.

I confuse everyone enough, including myself. Let's go to Paula. Hello.

Father, are you asking me? Yeah, I'm just imagining if I just left it 'live like a plant outwardly,' then everybody—let me work also. Yes. Um, I'm a bit like Claudia in the beginning, just feeling after listening to you and just being so clear about your words. But, but, but I know there's something that I wanted to share with you. And is that it, it seems like, um, a romantic relationship is being born, yes. And and I, I'm just allowing it and enjoying it. And it's—I don't know what's going to happen. I, I really don't know when, um, it's good. But there's, um, there's also some gorgeous words are very present lately, and it's about this now that sometimes relationships come like a way of distracting us or something. And I have that very present because it could be the most beautiful relationship in the world, but I don't want to exchange for anything in this world my love for truth. And I, I'm—I don't know what could happen. And, uh, I only, I just feel that I only come to you and just knowing that I'm with you and put this at your feet and don't allow it, please don't allow anything.

Yes, actually God has no trouble running any relationship. It is, uh, when we come into the picture as, as the ego wanting to participate in that play, that is where the trouble comes. So you deepen your relationship with God and let God handle the relationship. Nothing is good or bad in itself. It is very true that sometimes it can be a distraction; sometimes it can be, if you're together in some way in the heart and there's openness, there could be a deepening also. So don't have to judge yourself too harshly on these things. Both, both possibilities can play out. But the way for it not to get distracting is that you don't distract from your being, from yourself in your heart, and let your divine intelligence take care of this relationship however it is meant to be taken care of.

Yes, yes, that, that's what has been in, in my heart, you know, because I, I've—um, I feel very open to it. And but, um, yes, maybe it's the because past experiences or a lot of suffering for this, a lot, a lot in the past.

Well, I have to say that some suffering is inherent in all relationships, so don't have this—don't judge yourself too harshly when even that comes, okay? It's part of the masala, you know, the spices of life of this kind of, uh, thing happens in relationships. Okay, maybe right now you have to do very simple stage, so, so that may not apply, but some, some friction is a part of relationships.

Yes, I feel it's more that the attachment, not the suffering, but the attachment to it and the confusion about happiness or completeness or something.

Yes, but yeah, so this nonsense we can drop in the sense that, uh, like where can happiness come from? Can the label 'I'm in the relationship with that boy,' can that relationship, can that label make some window to happiness coming from the connection like that? This is what the mind's idea of relationships: I label and say, 'Okay, this is the relationship,' and then from there something is coming to me, happiness is coming. And I might always look at happiness that way, but can it ever be like that? That is just the conceptual idea of a relationship. Happiness must be here from within, not within the body, but from within. So that is very important. And secondly, it is the—what is the second point, which is attachment?

Um, that it's linked with the same, nice attachment because, uh, happiness is coming from there and so I, I kind of let it go or something. But I'm not feeling that right now. I really don't feel, but somehow I just don't know. I feel the potential to grow that inside. It is there. I, I, I know. I don't know if it's there or no, I really don't know. But maybe it's, it's kind of fear. Maybe it's fear that it's pulling me to come to you and say this. I don't know. Attachment, some, uh, suffering, all this little lie.

It's linked with the same nice attachment because happiness is coming from there and so I kind of let it go or something, but I'm not feeling that right now. I really don't feel, but somehow I just don't know. I feel the potential to grow that inside. It is there. I know, I don't know if it's there or no, I really don't know. But maybe it's kind of fear. Maybe it's fear that it's pulling me to come to you and say this. I don't know.

Attachment, some suffering—all this little, little will be. It's inherent in most relationships, so don't try to have a very super special relationship where none of this happens. Don't pressure, don't put your relationship under too much spiritual pressure. Just you be openly as much as possible and allow it to unfold. And in the moment, there will be some identification, some things will happen like that.

Yeah, yeah. And now just to also share with you that I'm very, very happy. I mean, I'm experiencing life in a way that it's completely new and it's so much. I don't know, it's a magic. It's like the word that comes, it's so because of you and satsang and I'm very grateful, very, very grateful. Thank you.

Let's go to Kim.

Hello, namaste. Thank you for the chance to talk to you. I'm not sure what I will say because since I raised my hands some minutes ago, I had three or four questions which I stopped liking. Good, good. Because I think they are too specific maybe, and I would rather see more potential in them not being there. But then I don't know what should come. But I also heard you say a lot of times you also don't know what comes out of your mouth when you talk. So yes, I also don't know. Thank you already for—did I may do this?—that my mouth now is allowed to make these sounds in this environment without me knowing if they will come out something appropriate or not, or making sense, or being interesting.

Yeah, that's beautiful. I love that. I love what you just said and just allowing this mouth to move and not pressurizing yourself to make sense or sound rational or make use of time or any of that stuff. And you sounded fine. And even if you didn't sound fine, that'd be okay too. It's completely fine.

And thank you. And now if I can speak from what I experience now, I very much experience great joy and love in this. And also it feels like the state that my mind fears and thinks of, that this is the state in which my life wouldn't work out, or at least my plans wouldn't come true or something like this.

Yes, the mind will throw these fears at you. Your mind will throw these fears with you. But you've noticed also that you're not experiencing a lack of intelligence. You're not experiencing a lack of intelligence. In fact, you may be experiencing in your openness an influx of intelligence.

I think maybe if I would watch, I can see I can form sentences now. And if I would watch it later, I would see, okay, it might make some sense. But from within it actually, I must disagree. It really feels like I don't feel this word 'mathematical intelligence' right now. I think I feel like drunk a little bit.

This is it. This is it. This is it. This is what I'm calling intelligence, you see? In that openness to allow it to unfold. And the mind's idea is, 'But you could be talking complete jubilation, you won't make any sense.' But you're sounding so good. There's no trouble, you see? So just letting go of this pressure, because the mind in any way—the non-existent identity—can't do any of this. Like I said, it doesn't know how to move a finger. So anyway, all of this has been happening in the light of your own being, in the light of your own consciousness. So you are getting a taste of how it is that satsang is shared. Just like that, the mouth starts moving or it doesn't come out. There's no reason to worry or be concerned or to say, 'Oh no, I hope it's not like this, I hope it's not like that.' It can happen naturally. Like initially when I started sharing, my mind would come and say, 'But what are you going to share today? You're done with all the good stuff now. You're only going to share a wish.' Like after a few days of my sharing, it was like that. 'You're done, all your stuff is done now. Don't go, don't share.' But it's been ten years since then and this mouth has been moving, moving. If you don't have expectations of what should come up, sometimes what comes out may surprise you very beautifully.

Such a state of happiness feels like a burning bomb that I would be if I walked through my daily life. Just happy. I would disturb it in a good way though, but I would...

This is it. This is it. This is the open end to allow it to unfold, to not resist. Now there comes the thought that, 'Oh yes, yes, be courageous and keep it, be like this.' But this cannot make sense, right? Because I cannot keep. I know for sure that this is a phenomenal emotion that is probably—I feel and know it to be—not... I also wanted to say it's closer to the truth than suffering, but this also doesn't make sense. I also cannot say that happiness can be closer to truth than suffering is, right?

Okay. Thank you. So happy, so happy. See the simplicity of it. It's just letting go that the mouth has to move. The mouth has to move. It doesn't have to move. To Aniku.

Thank you, Anantaji. As you were speaking in the satsang, I always wanted to say something, so many things. And actually at the moment I don't really know what to choose to, what is the most important. But just try it like Kim tried. Sorry, but I was so much in my mind what to say, I couldn't hear too much. Sorry. He just allowed it to move on its own, allowed the boss. Okay. It is about a desire in my heart to be close to you or to Guruji, like physically, because of the habit of the mind is very strong. And what I feel, and also I had a dream and for me it was like an intuitive insight. And it was about—I had a garden with lots of seed in the soil and the birds were always coming and they were picking it up and I was so sad to see. And just the next day in the invitation room, Guruji was speaking about Jesus and the first soul is not able to get the roots. And this is how I feel. Can you say that again? After the first, what happened?

Guruji said the example about Jesus when he wanted to plant their seeds and there were three different kinds of soil. And the first one is the worst one who can't even take their seeds because their bird is coming and immediately take it. And it was my dream just before this sharing satsang. And actually, yeah, and this is how I feel as well, then probably I need more help because whenever you speak to me and you ask, for example, 'Are you aware? Are you awareness even?' and straight I saved from somewhere, but after I was just thinking where this answer was coming from. I don't even understand, I can't repeat it at the same way. And it is something like this, then I'm just wasting my time alone because I need some—as you, Guruji—be close to me and remind me every day, every minute, what is true and what is not true, who I am. Because I cannot change the solid. So yeah, something like this.

Okay, there are many things to speak about this. Let's see how it starts. So as far as reminders are concerned, you see, as far as reminders are concerned, there are plenty. There are plenty. There are plenty of recordings. There are plenty of satsangs, so many thousands. Guruji's satsang, many thousands recorded here also. So the reminders are always available. And really, I've just been pointing to this for the last ten years. So it doesn't matter which one you open, it should be pretty much the same pointers which you find when you're speaking like this should be available there. So reminders is not any trouble. The mind creates doubt, like we've been talking about this topic. You picked on it perfectly. So when I ask you, 'Are you aware now?' how does the confirmation happen? The mind cannot confirm how the confirmation happens because it is not participating in that insight. So can you accept firstly that your mind will not be able to participate in true insight?

Yes, but you will, yes, yes, yes. But so sorry, that's quite like... so when you ask, 'Am I aware now?' what can you confirm? It is just so naturally known then I am aware and yeah.

Now if you are aware, are you saying your awareness is that what you mean? And that was the second thing I wanted to ask. So, is the same question actually, but are you awareness? Because the mind wants to grab it so much now and understand the difference and I don't know now how to let it go and just listen to the question with the heart. What is this? These are the two questions: 'Am I aware?' and 'Am I awareness?' Because if I say I am aware, then there is an 'I' who is there. But when I say I am awareness, then there is only awareness and there is no 'I'.

Yes. So you are aware of the perception of this hand?

Yes.

Now that which is aware of the perception of this hand, awareness, what quality does it have?

Yeah. Are you sure? Yes, yes. It's not Madalina who's aware of the perception of this hand. It's you. Probably she is aware as well. That's a problem.

You can only speculate about that because right now what can you confirm? Obviously, yeah, yeah. I am aware of this 'I' that is aware. Can that be seen? Can it be perceived? It's just known. Known means what? It is just like cannot be asked like... yeah, it cannot be what? It cannot be a doubt or denied, argued.

Okay. So 'known' is a confusing word. So 'known' can seem like it's like a knowing, conceptual knowing. Is that the type of knowing you're talking about? No. Is that certainly any concept? It is just... yeah, I've been using the word 'intuit'. We intuit that I am, we are aware of. I intuit that I am aware is to make the distinction between knowing and seeing, because many times people hear 'I know I am aware.' Many masters have said you cannot know you are aware, but they are talking about conceptual knowing. You cannot know in your head. So intuitively it is clear that you are aware now. Intuitively from the same place, what is it besides awareness that you could be? This body? Could you be this body intuitively?

Intuitively I cannot say anything what I could be or could not be because I cannot grab anything if I don't use my mind.

So what you're saying is that there is silence. There is silence in the intuition. It is not telling you an answer. Trust that silence. The silence itself is the answer.

Yes. And sometimes it comes, but whatever you said now, it is so much about me because sometimes when I just said, 'Okay, I am aware,' and there is a silence, and immediately there is a lack of that. Okay, it is not enough. So something is lacking so much.

And you cannot make your mind and intuition dance together in the same dance. The mind wants an invitation to this party, but we can't give it to it. I feel, I just feel that mind always wants to make me sad or something with this kind of concepts and yeah, and I believe it. I still believed him.

Yeah, yeah. Your mind—does it have this kind of power? Can it get your belief without your permission to make you suffer or to make you sad? Whatever you say, it means belief. Like just the mind thoughts appearing and disappearing cannot have that effect in the human condition. The effect is only after belief goes to it. And whose power is belief? Who has the power to believe? I will propose to you that it is consciousness. It is consciousness that has this power. And I have not met a consciousness which can be forced by the strongest thought. So unless this consciousness is playing as if it is interested, as if it wants to nurture that belief system further, it wants to give meaning to those things—unless it is you, your being, your consciousness, which gives validity to these notions, the mind cannot force itself on you. So can you check this for me yourselves? Allow the strongest thought, the scariest thought to come and see if your being can be forced into belief.

I have not met a consciousness which can be forced by the strongest thought. So unless this consciousness is playing as if it is interested, as if it wants to nurture that belief system further, it wants to give meaning to those things—unless it is you, your being, your consciousness, which gives validity to these notions, the mind cannot force itself on you. So can you check this for me yourselves? Allow the strongest thought, the scariest thought to come and see if your being can be forced into believing that thought.

When you say my being, do you mean this silence? Do you mean the existent entity? What exists right now? You say 'I am.' Who's existing right now? From that being, reinforced into a belief system, into a suffering that it doesn't want... is nothing happening in this silence? No.

Just when the believing is happening, is it also not me who is believing or not believing? It is just someone else believes and it becomes your belief? No.

It is just that I created... there is 'I' created from this nothing. Created by the nothing. Should we start fresh? Because I'm completely lost. Right. I don't know who decides, whose decision it is to believe or not to believe.

So, but that you are aware is clear? Yes. Now, in this awareness, is there a sense of presence? Is there a sense of being? Yes. So, as I've said often, can you stop being? Can you stop being? And you notice that there's a presence which is not stoppable. It is just here. Are the two questions the same: 'Am I aware now?' and 'Can I stop being?'

I feel if I wouldn't have this body, I wouldn't know if there is this presence or not, because I feel that presence in my body.

So we have too many variables at this point. So shall we just start fresh? Now tell me, what is your experience without describing it? Like, what are you perceiving without putting it into any narrative? As little narrative as possible.

I'm perceiving the sensation of the body and I'm perceiving whatever I see now, whatever I hear.

Yes. Is there any trouble anywhere with perceiving?

No trouble. No.

It is clear to you that you are perceiving, that you are aware of these perceptions?

Yes.

So, anything forces you out of this—let's call it pure perception? Anything forces you out of this?

If there is no trouble like this, there's no trouble like this. And why still can something pull you out of this pure perception? Some fear forced me out. Some fear then is not complete or something like this. Something is not complete and I will never reach this completeness.

Come back to just describing what your experience is. Don't explain what it means. Describe this fear. Yes. Don't explain with the mind. If I just explain what it means, that it will stop me, it will do this—you will put all these explanations just to a direct experience. Direct experience is something around my heart, it is like a tightness, and the breath is not deep, like some kind of panicking or something like this. Yes, yes, yes. Very good. So stay like this. Stay like this. Hmm. Yes, that was good. Thank you so much. Thank you.

The mind creates these mazes where you enter them and there seems like there's no way out. Then you just have to reset, start over, stop all the stories, start to work. Just remain in your pure perception. In your pure perception, what you are is apparent to you. That's the beauty of this. What you are is not lost to you, unless it seems to get lost when we put that into a conceptual narrative, into a storification. But otherwise, it's just apparent. Does anyone ever feel that it's just perception? Just check on this for us. In your pure perception, does it just feel like there's only this side of it, like just the perception side of it? The witnessing side of it is absent? Does it feel like that? The witnessing is apparent the minute you try to insert it into the narrative, insert it into story. Because you can't insert the witnessing into the story. What will you say? 'I woke up this morning, I had waffles for breakfast, and then, ah, the witnessing was there and then, um, nothing ever happened to it.' Well, I mean, it's impossible to put. It can be very convoluted, like 'the witnessing manifested itself as consciousness, then consciousness in this aspect had centrality with this body,' so then it is experienced like that. But that would be a very different sounding story from the one that woke up and had waffles for breakfast.

So this is the thing, because the truth is so simple and apparent and yet completely impossible for the mind to get a handle on, and therefore the mind loses the ability to put it into a story. The same thing also works in reverse: when we drop the story, what we are is fully apparent to us. Thank you so much. Okay, I'll go to...

I don't really know exactly why I put my hands up, but everything that Kim was saying earlier, like he just wanted to present himself and he doesn't know what's going to happen, they felt like my words as well. And one thing was, well, just I'm so grateful to be here in satsang with you today because I don't often get the opportunity to be here, and so I feel just like something wanted to speak with you in that thing.

So wonderful. So happy to see you here. I've seen you once in a while at the beginning at least, and then you feel like you have some... there's some... okay, it's sounding like some discourse. I can hear you now pretty well. How about you?

Yeah, yeah, it's good. Sorry, I've just seen... I was saying that I noticed you once in a while at the beginning and then you have some chores or errands to run probably, and that's where you're not able to stay. It's such a dream.

Exactly, yeah. I just can't... like speaking about some of the themes, and actually those themes have sort of continued in the satsangs also. I noticed like I feel like something is focusing on the similar themes that we captured in the podcast actually. We spoke about almost everything there, but just the direction of the conversation sounds very familiar since then. The themes seem very familiar as well.

So just you were talking about like the idea of embodiment, you know, and how it's good... I'll keep it a few seconds to see if she comes ahead. I am so sorry, I don't want my internet connection not so badly. Um, watching in the gallery view because sometimes if all the videos are coming on the same thing then that could also be too much thing. You can go to speaker view, that should help. Okay. Um, yeah, so when I came on to satsang they were talking about the idea of a body and how kind of ridiculous it is. And in one sense, like, yeah, I can totally agree. It's like, yeah, it's totally ridiculous. Of course, like everything is God, everything is consciousness. But I have to say that like I do see myself getting kind of pulled in in certain aspects to that type of idea, and then I can also totally see through it as well at different moments.

And so I was talking to somebody recently on a podcast and they were kind of talking about, you know, that we see these people in the world, you know, that seem to be like, let's say, expressing quite highly. Like it seems like they don't have much human and stories of suffering or something like that, you know? They kind of shine consciousness out of their human expression. And then afterwards, I'm not even afterwards really, I just felt like it's a total trick of just like all the tricks in the world to pull us in, you know? Because it's like, okay, so one person over there looks like they are shining love, and one person over there is kind of curling up in a cave or something. But it's like a total trick because it's like, like you say, it's just the human expression, it's the story or something. And what I am, like the intuition or what I am, is not that and it's never going to be that.

So it really doesn't matter. Like there's almost like all these levels of what a human can be. And even we can see like this, like that one human is here and then the next year they're here or something. Let's say they're shining more love, and in ten years' time they're shining even more love. So it kind of can give that impression, you know, that there's an evolving of like moving towards expressing more love or something, you know? So I feel like I can kind of get pulled into that story in a certain way because I have the... I guess like I think light or something, or like awareness or awakeness wants to look towards darkness. And the longer I'm in satsang, like I'm kind of feeling like there's so much like darkness in being, you know? But like there's more... I suppose like at different moments there's distance between it, like just like complete detachment. Like really, I don't really know what I'm saying, but like really, it really doesn't matter.

I suppose I'm just kind of confirming and affirming really to myself that it really doesn't matter what happens within a human life. Like it doesn't matter if Amber stays completely stuck or anybody stays completely stuck in like conditioning stories, or if light is shown upon it and it gets... it dissolves or doesn't dissolve. It really, really doesn't matter to the truth of who I am. And that's kind of the most important thing. But then that's just one aspect of what I wanted to say. And then the other aspect, which you've also been saying as well, is I guess just noticing that I don't know what the word is, but the difference between the mind and all the things that the mind can say, and the heart, let's say. And you know, there's that kind of idea as well, and I've heard Mooji also saying, and it stuck with me, he says or he has said something like this: that when the mind and the heart are in harmony, you're free, you know? And we can kind of see this like even in our being, that our mind does in certain ways come into harmony with your mind. Like even when you can express from your heart, in a way it kind of feels like it's coming into harmony and you can think kind of thoughts that are in alignment with love or truth, or your thoughts can be like forgiving, you know? You know what I mean? Like well also there's aspects of the mind that are completely kind of confused or in darkness or something like that. So it's like the heart is completely free like... are completely... I don't know.

It's like I can jump in a little bit here. So this is... yeah, please, please. Thank you. It's like I was sharing the story, I don't remember whether it was on the broadcast or just when we were meeting in the camera here. My brother, when he was younger, he would share a lot of stories. Like he would say, 'I'm at... there's a famous cricketer, there was a famous cricketer in India called Kapil Dev.' So he said, 'Oh, I went out of the house and I met Kapil Dev and then he threw a ball at me and I hit it for the six,' and you know, all of these kind of things. And then, I mean, when you're younger than three years' age difference, it makes a lot of difference. So I would just like smile and nod and it was not that I was in opposition to what he was saying. And there was so much love that I was accepting... I was accepting everything that he would say, but I would not take it to be the truth.

So you can be in harmony with what is being said, but it doesn't mean that you have to confirm that its limited ideas about who you are have to be taken to be true. So this is a distinction which is important. So the heart actually is never in opposition to anything that shows up in the world, although outwardly it may seem like, you know, there's a strong opposition and 'leave the mind' and all this thing. But really in the heart, it is not in opposition to any of that. But being in harmony with it does not imply that you take its utterances or ramblings to be representative of reality. So to recognize that it is a limited instrument with only so much capability and scope, and not able to decipher even a moment in reality. Like right now, the mind cannot answer what this is.

In the world, although outwardly it may seem like, you know, there's a strong opposition and leave the mind, all this thing, but really in the heart, it is not in opposition to any of that. But being in harmony with it does not imply that you take its utterances or ramblings to be representative of reality. So, to recognize that it is a limited instrument with only so much capability and scope, and not able to decipher even a moment in reality—like right now, the mind cannot answer what this is. Even a moment of what this is, even the manifest aspect of what this is, you see? If we say that, 'Okay, Mr. Mind or Miss Mind, you just define this much, which is what is this right now,' it will not be able to define it because the way it does that is that everybody will have a different idea about what this is. So it is impossible to gain the truth out of it.

But to accept that it is an instrument which is limited in this nature, that doesn't mean you go to war with it and you don't accept that it is an aspect of consciousness. You accept it, but you don't take if it is telling you that you are a snail or you are a rabbit or whatever; you will not take it to be true. In the same way, when it is saying that you are this entity which somehow is an owner of this body in some way, you see, it is not even clear about what that definition of 'me' is. You see, sometimes when put in a spot, it says, 'No, no, but I'm just saying you are this body.' But if you look at its goals, it has nothing to do with the body. What it wants to do, what it wants to gain—fame and money and all of that—the body is not concerned with at all.

So, although it uses the body as a pivot, like as a central pivot to its ability to identify, it is not really setting goals which are body-oriented. Most of the goals are about this entity which nobody can find. And having thoroughly investigated that and seen that there is nobody like that, then to go to its words and take those to be a truth about yourself, that would be a disservice to yourself in the overall play, of course. So that would be a disservice that you don't have to do. You can allow it to speak, you can allow it to come and go, but you can rely on your own insight about what you are more than you rely on what the words that are being represented coming from the mind are saying about what you are.

Just in the same way that you would not limit yourself to just what your sight is saying about you. You see, if you limited yourself to just sight and not count hearing, not count taste, not count any of the other ways to perceive, then that would be a limitation. And that is too small for even your manifest reality. In the same way, just to take the mind's words to be true about who—I lost her, but I'll continue to talk—to take the mind's representation of who you really are is too limited, you see? So if you don't have a problem with this, saying, 'Of course there is more to my perception than sight, there is more to my perception and my being than just hearing or any one of the senses,' then there is no reason why we must be so much in opposition to just recognizing this: that there is more to my existence and my reality than just what my mind is proposing.

So if the mind is limited in that sense, just like one of the senses, then what can we go to? Who can we rely on for the truth? So if it is limited based on our direct insight, and we can see that I'm clearly beyond what the mind is representing, then what is it? If it offers for my limited representation mostly just lead to suffering and trouble, you see, if I buy into them, then if I let go of the belief in the mind, then is there something else that I can rely on to tell me the truth about myself or insight of the truth about myself? And that is what your intuition is. What is your Atma Gyan, which is available? And it is completely apparent that we are not taking ourselves to be limited based on that limited representation. Your broadness, your vastness is completely apparent to you.

Even one who hates the notion of satsang, doesn't believe in Guru and none of that, can meet this pointing and you can see, 'Ah yes, you see, I don't seem to be only as limited as the body-mind organism which the mind proposes me to be.' So then the question is, do I need to harmonize the painting with the mind—the mind is painting about myself—and the insight that I'm having about myself? Do I need to harmonize these two things? So that again, intuitively looking, there is more disharmony because it is recognized as a painting; it is recognized as a storybook. So then I don't have to sort of insert my identity in that and try to squeeze, find out how my godliness or my consciousness squeezes into that storybook narrative. Because your consciousness, your being, is completely in harmony with the storybook narrative; it is not in opposition to it.

Mostly it is the mind which takes on the attempt to say, 'Yes, now we have made this discovery of this broadness, of this vastness, now how can I apply it to my narrative? How can I apply it to this narrative? How can I use it through that?' And in its attempts, I have not seen a successful attempt to insert this discovery which you and I are making into this narrative of the mind, because it seems too limited and it seems like too much hard work to try and do that and say, 'Okay, actually I am this body-mind somewhere, so how can I make sure that I'm not forgetting my godlike nature?' or those kind of juggling sort of attempts. Whereas, what is the trouble in seeing yourself in the reality of your being, in the reality of that which is aware of your being? Don't we all find a naturalness or harmony in our day-to-day expressions as well? There is just natural. It's like the meal is already cooked, you know? Why? God is already cooking the meal. Then what attempt, what effort is required on top of that for us to make it like super tasty? Isn't that just like a fallacious attempt? And what tools do we have available at our disposal to do that except our conceptual ideas of what is true or not? There is no actual tool that the mind has, or that non-existent person has, to try and reconcile itself with the heart or something like that. The heart is already reconciled.

In some ways, what I am trying to express, of course, it's not easy to express. I feel like there's something else that's going to be said. What is it? It's very important, this very, very relevant conversation, to see that without my conceptual attempt at integration, embodiment, harmonizing, is there disharmony?

I think it's like, I totally hear what you're saying and it's totally valid and I understand and I see all of it. And I think where the, like, where I can seemingly get pulled into the story is like a human story can play out any way. So like the human story can play out as if it's trying to harmonize enough, you know? And that's why, like, I think the longer you're in satsang, the ideas that can come up get more and more subtle or something. And like, so it can be very easy to feel like you're totally open and all, where really there's like a sort of idea playing, you know? I feel like it can be like that. It's hard to—I mean, I don't think you really need to explain it, like it's really only for me to see it, so it doesn't really matter. But yeah, I think like, it feels like in this expression, which is really only the story which I'm saying, is that what feels kind of natural and good and it's just kind of what happens is that, like, something wants to continue to look at all the kind of false beliefs and you know, like that, and they can leave or not leave. And it's just, I think it's just the same thing. I don't know, I don't really know what I'm saying.

Yeah, really what's really happening is all of that is here in the mind, whatever happens in the mind, and there's a complete—like, it's just in a complete different realm or something. It's in a completely different realm, a complete different arena, the recognition, you know? Because sometimes it can seem as if the recognition of yourself or something is really in this play of life or something. It can seem like that, but it's really not there at all. Even though, of course, like this does reflect on, like the way we say it's a mirror, so it does seem to mirror something and it kind of reflects something. But well, you can't say it gets it wrong; it gets obviously totally right. It's just our brain doesn't, our mind doesn't know how to interpret it, or like you say, our mind doesn't know how to say what's going on. And I guess something is just seeing.

So I think my speaking to you is just something trying to like affirm or like deepen that resolve of what I'm saying, is that like there's really a complete detachment. Even now, I'm kind of, something is inviting myself to see like that I'm not even in this really. I'm not in this. I don't even know what all of these words and all, they're just something else, like they've got nothing to do with me. But yeah, that play is there and I guess like there can be like a full pull into that play because it can seem almost like so—because it includes God and it includes love and it includes waking up and it includes being free of conditioning. So therefore, like the kind of—it can be like very tempting to get pulled into that even in a very kind of fine or subtle way. But I'm just, I guess I'm just presenting this aspect of consciousness or something to say like, even this I don't want, I don't need, or you know, and to just really to be in that awakening more in a very clear way and not just for—like even there is no me, but for anyone who wants it fully together, fully in my heart, anyone in your heart. And I love the idea of just like putting my head at your feet and it brings me great joy to be able to do that, even if it's in like imagination or even saying it in words. Like, so I'm putting my head—like I feel like physically, even though I'm not physically there, I'm physically and just like that, because it just means love for me.

So touched by you. Thank you. Made me speechless now. I started with so much bigger than fire, like almost like an old man. Thanks. Okay, what is left to say? Who really has to come? I am. Can I go to Mahesh first? I haven't heard him in a bit. Thank you.

Can you hear me okay? Oh yeah, it's very, very lucky. It was very nice. I only came into satsang late and just as you and Amber were beginning to talk, so it was very nice to listen and it actually helped me a lot with what has been coming up here. A lot of anxiety has been coming up. It's like starting a new job or coming back to working as a tour guide, and a lot of kind of preparation needs to happen and a lot of mind, and seems like there's a lot of personal identification tied up with this preparation and this kind of ability to do the job well.

And can we explore this really for a moment and see whether it is inherent in preparation? Whether identification is inherent in preparation? Can we look at that for a moment and see what—okay, let's zero in on this a little bit because that got my attention a little. So in what way is identification inherent in preparation?

It's not inherent. What happens here, I think, is some egoic identification with—it's like a fear of not being able to answer questions and a fear of—it's like there's some fear of judgment, fear of negative judgment of inability and unworthiness and all of this kind of—yeah, answer your question, it's not inherent. The identification is not inherent in preparation, but here there seems to be a lot of personal identity mixed in with the idea of me as a tour guide and a lot of kind of anxiety about that.

Yeah, okay. So suppose our project...

Of not being able to answer questions and a fear of it. It's like there's some fear of judgment, fear of negative judgment, of inability and unworthiness and all of this kind of... yeah. To answer your question, it's not inherent. The identification is not inherent in preparation, but here there seems to be a lot of personal identity mixed in with the idea of me as a tour guide and a lot of kind of anxiety about that. Yeah.

Okay, so suppose our project works. Suppose our project was to help the tour guide persona because you were a tour guide yesterday or whenever, and then all these things happen, and then you'll be a tour guide tomorrow or today or whenever, and then these things will happen. Now, to this one that has to play the tour guide, what is the best gift we can give to that one right now? Will the dwelling on its identification and its apparent feelings be a gift suitable to give? Like being in satsang—in satsang, apparently, we are here to give each other the highest gift. So what could be the highest gift that we can give to this one who will suffer from these conditions tomorrow?

The answer that comes, and I think comes from a place of fear, is: give him all the information that he needs.

Yes. Now, if I were to ask you that if you had a choice to pick—if I could introduce to this one that is here now that God is its very presence, God the highest being in the universe is your very presence, versus all the tour information, what would you be?

Well, it's taking a while because what's happening here is like, but I already know that, you know? And that's lovely when I'm just resting in that, but that does not help me to do my job in my personal life and identity.

Yes, and that has been the theme since we had the podcast conversation. That has been the theme in some way of this sharing like this. And you came in later, so you missed that part where we said, okay, now if you look at the practical life, what are the things that are most essential for you to have a practical life? You want to just tell me? To save time, maybe I should.

In let's speak in a worldly way then for a moment, because we are talking about the practical life. What is essential is that your heart keeps beating and your breath keeps flowing, and the millions of processes that are happening in this body—fighting infection and even the force which is keeping the cells of the body together—see, all that has to function firstly, on top of which only you can claim to have any sort of practical life, isn't it? So who's doing all of this? Like the heart is pretty consistently, you know, 80 beats per minute or whatever your usual heart rate is. Everything is also synchronized pretty well. It knows how to take out oxygen from the breath and oxygenate the blood and the cells. All these millions and millions of processes we don't know—digestion and I don't know what is happening—which goes into running the life of one body apparent. Now, again, we were speaking earlier.

So let's look at it that way. Now, it is fairly apparent that that's quite intelligent, the one that is running this body. That intelligence—let's call it the intelligence itself if you don't want to say God—and that intelligence which is running this body is very, very intelligent. Much more than—I would say, you tell me if this is true or not—I would say much more intelligence than our mind carries around, you see? Because suppose for a moment that your mind was given all these tasks: every moment you have to beat the heart, you have to get the breath in, you have to get all the blood flowing, you do all of that. It could not do it, isn't it?

Yeah.

Now, if this intelligence is doing all of this, is that intelligence making a distinction and saying, 'Okay, now the rest of it, which is your preparation, which is your speaking to the tourists that come, all of that I can't do, that you have to do'? Is that intelligence saying that? So I would pick the one that is more intelligent to do that also. And one promise I can give you is that here it feels pretty apparent that what is speaking in satsang seems to be that same intelligence, the voice of the same intelligence. So if it can speak in satsang, does it say, 'No, no, I cannot speak when I'm talking to non-spiritual people'? It's not doing that, you see.

Now, if it needs to play the game of reading, preparing, memorizing, all of that also, do you feel like it is not worthy enough, capable enough for doing any of that also?

No, I feel like the mind that's tripping itself up, that's, you know...

Yeah, so you recognize the trouble. So that is the mind saying that. It is making categories and saying, 'No, no, this is about spirituality and about God, but that is about my work and practical life and all of that.' But your intuition, your heart, your divine presence, your being is not making any such distinction, isn't it?

No.

So trust that. Trust that it's always with you. And I'm not just saying these words. In that trust, there is a family life apparently—if you need to make categories, there's a family life that functions here, there's a work life that functions here, there's a sangha that functions here, the sharing of satsang that functions here. But it functions here without necessity, without the necessity of these mental categorizations which cause so much trouble, you see? I see all of you, so much trouble can be created out of this, you see.

So, like Kim did before that, allow your mouth to speak, allow your eyes to prepare if they are going to, allow your nose to smell, allow everything to just unfold. There is a supreme intelligence which is running this universe. We don't need to amplify it with our notions about how it should go and how it should not work. And now is the toughest part. The toughest part is: allow it fully, openly, with no concern about the outcome. See, because if there is an outcome which is more auspicious for you, which intelligence knows that better?

Yeah.

Yeah, because otherwise what will happen is you will want to think of it as some sort of a cheat code, or 'I go into God mode in my life.' So now Ananta has told me that God is in my heart, so God can do anything, so I will just, you know, just show up in front of those tourists and I will just be able to tell them that in 1586 this is what happened. And it may not. God may not show up in that way. It's up to God. So what I'm saying is that moment to moment, live like that where if, in the play of that divine intelligence, some papers have to be gone through, some things have to be done, allow that also to unfold. So it is not a God mode cheat code to life. The discovery of God as your divinity is not meant to give any special advantage to Mahesh's life.

So allow anxiety also. Allow anxiety, fear also, everything. Allow it. But you will notice that if you are able to just remain in the perception of it without the comparing labels, then it may not seem as burdensome. Because we may not realize that when we say 'anxiety,' see, we are not only meeting what is perceived in front of us like a vibration. We're not only meeting that vibration; the meeting is of a very, very loaded sort of concept, you see? And it is loaded with all the baggage for which we have used that word in the past. So when you meet it in this combination, it may seem to be overwhelming.

So try one experiment with me. When it happens, you see if you can remember this: meet it completely openly for what it is. I guarantee you two things. One is that you've never met this expression or this vibration in exactly the same way before. See, that is the first guarantee. And the second guarantee is that no matter what comes, if you leave it without its label, it will not seem like too much suffering or overwhelming for you. So just try this next one. Just like the great sages said in the past that you cannot step into the same river twice, you cannot have the same perceptual experience in your being twice. Everything is possible in consciousness, but from experience I can tell you that it doesn't seem like you notice the same perception twice.

So to label it as 'that' enables us to put ourselves in a conceptual narrative, but it is not necessarily the best healing that you can experience. Your pure perception is the best. And this is the classic thought experiment: you may have a stage fright or something, you may call that anxiety, but vibrationally the quality may not be so different from when you're excited to go on a holiday. So can you really verify that this is what this is and this is what that is? And even if it is similar or it's strong or it's different, whatever it may be, if your being remains unhurt by it, if your Self, which is aware even of being, remains unhurt by it, there is no reason to be anxious about anxiety. Otherwise, most of my anxiety is about not having anxiety. 'How do I make sure I don't get anxiety?' So it's like a conceptual anxiety that we have which is trying to build a defense against some vibration which shows up, you see? And how well does that defense work? It may be actually not a defense; it may be an invitation.

Yeah, I found luckily that it can quickly, with a change of thought, it can quickly go from fear to excitement.

Only our defenses can be attacked. It's only our defenses which can be attacked. If you do not have a shape, you cannot be shaken. So our acceptance, our welcoming, our non-resistance, our openness without trying to make a defense out of it may be the best defense. And our conceptual defenses may be the fodder for attack. Thank you. Let's go quickly, quickly to everyone else. Adelina and the children, what's up?

I think I need to expose a number of items. Okay, let's go. One: there is some anger here even towards my children sometimes.

Oh, that's obvious. Isn't that natural? What's the point of having children if you can't get out your... God is about love, yes.

And I'm starting to build this thought or belief that we've spent too much together. We spend too much together. Is it time spent too much for time together? We spent everything together. I spend everything—time, money, everything, everything. And they are distracting my attention. But am I too clingy to carry these two in satsang with me? Am I too clingy to carry all this to satsang with me? All this into carrying these children, the two children, in satsang with me?

No, you have to get them here. Where will you leave them? I don't know. I can send them to their father if I need to. No, I am happy to have them. They are my best friends. And do you think of the same view? But I'm sure his heart feels the same.

Okay. When I'm angry, and when I'm very angry, and the expression that happens can give headaches to many people. And I think it's a result of my ego who wants things in a certain way sometimes. So can I leave you to handle this for me, please?

You want me to do things in a certain way? I don't want you to. I want me not to be clingy. You did the right thing. Whatever I asked for you, you did what had to be done. Okay, I've been sleeping at the job so far?

No, I don't think you're sleeping. You're doing a great job. I don't think I... I think I'm not open enough.

Yeah, you mean you know too much?

I feel like saying I don't know what's going on.

And that is open then. That is it. That's the simplest definition of open. Okay, then how can you be troubled if you don't know what's going on? What do you need to know?

There is an assessment where I don't like to be angry because this anger somehow...

Pull all of this into your 'I don't know.' Okay? Angry or not, whether you are too angry or not, all of these things you don't really know. Let's admit it. I don't know and you don't know. Neither of us knows. So why speculate? How many lives did the king that was never born have?

The simplest definition of open. Okay, then how can you be troubled if you don't know what's going on? What do you need to know? There is an assessment where, 'I don't like to be angry because this anger somehow...' Perfect. Inside, pull all of this into your 'I don't know.' Okay? Angry or not, whether you are too angry or not, all of these things you don't really know. Let's admit it: I don't know and you don't know. Neither of us know. So why speculate? How many lives did the king that was never born have? So why speculate?

And sometimes I'm rough on Kalin. I know he's making a lot of effort in this journey together, this life situation that God has given you. So you don't have to worry. He's a beautiful boy and has a beautiful little child as well. So he's... sometimes someone will come, then he will... that's all he understands. If you just keep communicating, it will be all right. And he's very sweet and very mature. So I remember him listening to the satsang with rapt attention, even the highest pointers and things. So just explain to him and come and keep communicating. He'll be just fine.

And he also had a question for you. Oh, and there is something else that I have to leave. Yeah, when I try to sit in silence, sometimes there is this sleepiness and still energy that comes up. Yes, and maybe we need to self-inquiry, or maybe I need to self-inquiry into that, but...

Okay, so what will we do about it? It's okay. It's all right. You produce energy? Like, as Anna, are you producing, 'Oh, I've come to satsang, let me produce some sleep energy'? You're not doing that. No, it comes. It's okay. Yeah, I'm not... that's my belly man energy. Don't find reasons to beat yourself up. Find reasons to meet God now. Nothing keeps God away from you, and God is all you need. No, I'm kidding. Don't beat yourself up and don't take yourself too seriously. I do have a sense that when I hear 'gratuitous,' I have to meet some standards. Yeah, I'm telling you this thing that you have to eat when you make gurus: don't beat yourself up. Don't be too hard on yourself. It's good. Thank you.

I think don't allow anything to make yourself feel unworthy. In the words you hear from my mouth, if it makes you feel fearful, guilty, or unworthy, just forget about that point. Just forget. There's enough of other promptings you can eat. The mind somehow gets attracted to those. It is not spoken with that intention.

I know, and I feel. Thank you for that. I know that it was important to come up with. Okay, all of you, thank you so much. Is it possible to not be open and empty? Like, every thought always comes and you can't really stop it, and then it goes by itself. Come forth being open. Very, very nice. I love this question.

So the arising and the disappearing of the thought is not what open and empty is about. So in that way, you're right. No thought can come and stay, you see? Every thought comes and it goes. It comes and it goes. So just allow it to do that naturally is to remain open, you see? But we also... so how do we notice this? We notice this with our attention. We notice the thought arising with our attention, and that it is gone also with our attention. And the path between thoughts, we notice both of these with our attention.

Now you'll also notice, if we look carefully, that besides attention, you also have something called the power of belief. Which, when the thought is arising, it is saying, 'Oh, I need to do more of this,' or 'I am not good enough for this,' or 'I am very good at this.' Whatever the thought may say, you notice that you have the power—I'm going to try and put it simply—you have the power to say yes to the thought and accept it as if it is true about your reality, as if it is true about you. But these thoughts, these representations, they make up a fictional identity called the ego. They make up this identity called the ego.

So if you say, 'Oh, I don't like broccoli, I like this,' oh, this is fine. I'm just taking examples, okay? You can... not forcing you to like broccoli. You can choose not to like broccoli. But if somebody was to then define Kalin, they would say, 'Okay, he's a young boy, he likes this, he doesn't like broccoli, you know, he's very friendly, he listens carefully to satsang.' All this defines like identity, which is very small compared to the reality of you. Which is very small compared to the reality of you.

And in satsang, we are talking about that which is your reality—much bigger, much more magnificent, much more vast than our mind can ever fathom. So as we are open and empty, that vastness is apparent to us. That spaciousness is apparent to us. That reality of what we are, which doesn't get harmed or hurt by what may happen in the world, that becomes apparent to us. So we see our invincible nature in simple instruction: open and empty. But when we take on the truth value, the truthiness of what the thought is saying, it is just going to say, 'Oh, you're just a little boy who doesn't like broccoli,' you know? So, but you're much more than that, isn't it?

So to recognize that you're much more than that is what we come to satsang for. It must happen only when it feels completely natural to you, as I know it happens in your case. But I don't force children to come, or anyone to come for that matter, because everybody has to go through their life journey and go through their own life. So I'm very happy that at such a young age you are interested in these questions and interested in satsang. But never feel like you are under pressure to find something, you know, you have to find the truth or something like that. Just taking time. You're here in satsang; that is one of Mama's big gifts to you, that she's introduced you to satsang at such a young age. But also it's your own openness that brings you here. Like my own children don't like coming to satsang at all, as you've seen when you're here. So it's fine. I don't force them. See, I only... so just naturally go with the flow. You're doing very well and you know that you're in my heart always, always taken care of. High five! Hey, it's all right. Maybe we can move the computer. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

So Father, something that you said earlier today, and I think it seems to be the theme of the satsang today, that just reminded me of a repression of this mind that has been held on for a long time. I guess I wanted to expose that. You spoke about when you said that you could be in physical expression fighting a war and yet be internally very present, very plant-like. And that triggered a lot of stuff inside which, of course, during the satsang a lot got cleared through Amba. I mean, Amba just spoke something which was actually happening here and she was just speaking. But Father, that hook that kind of goes into the repression is the question of: how are you in integrity? You know, if the expression outside is something else and internally you might be open and empty, but if love doesn't flow the way it's supposed to, then you're not free. So that's the catch, that's the trump card for my mind: inwardly open and empty, but love is not flowing. It could be anything. It would be like the expression should be the same as what you're feeling inside. If it's love inside, then the expression should be like that. And that's been a long catch always, like constantly. This just sounds like too much pressure to me.

Yes, yes, and it is oppressive. Father, so I wanted to expose... like, I have this photo of Maharaj always staring at me. This photo of Maharaj is always staring at me. Yes, what is his heart showing on his face? What is showing? If you were to cross this man on the street, no, you may want to run. Father, actually it is Maharaj's one of the pointings, the famous ones that you also keep clarifying all the time. And there was a time when the expression and the experience was the same, where it was just so open and empty that everything was welcome to be expressed or to come, and it did not matter how this body was expressing in this world, but it was just here, it was open. But there is this trick that keeps catching here.

So now you're inwardly open and empty right now. What tool do you have to make sure there is a full expression of that emptiness and freedom in your body? Let me clarify this one first. So when I'm talking about integrity, I'm saying that if you're believing something about yourself but you come to satsang and you just say, 'No, no, I am the Self, nothing can touch me,' but actually you're believing that you're getting... so that is the sort of denial. And integrity is to say, 'No, no, this is what I'm really believing about myself right now. I feel like this is true.' And so you bring it up so that it can be cleaned up or chopped away or whatever has to happen to it.

But so might as well say, 'I feel like I am the body and I'm going to die.' Integrity. It is not like, 'Oh, there's a God shining in your being, so God must be expressed through your aura' or something. Absurd stuff like your friend told you or whatever, that you're so far from the truth. But can you speak the truth? Who can speak the truth? I have been trying for ten years, but one word has come out which is true. The truth is too broad for my mouth to speak. What can I do? So I only have to peddle these lies hoping that they point somewhere to reality.

So all these representations—that the unborn is not enough, to remain in the unborn is not enough—are not representations that are my direct insight or my direct experience. So I cannot give them validity. Now you may say that, 'I tried the unborn thing, it didn't work out because...' then I would say, 'Okay, that is being full of integrity because you're sharing openly that it didn't work out.' But I may question your idea of what 'work out' and 'doesn't work out' mean. Okay? What is your idea of integrity? Now you're open and empty inside. Now what you have to do? Just be sweet, sweet and nice, nice like that?

So Father, no, I don't know. Maybe it's a gathered concept, but a spiritual concept, but it feels like that the expression needs to change or something to what you are presently, to something which is...

Okay, impress yourself exactly like you are present. These are impossible, absurd things. And how will you express your presence? Would you just go like that? No, Father, they are as absurd as they're coming out from my mouth right now, but they're these hidden certain... you don't worry. So what would it be? So, you're just in the unborn. Now what should happen? Okay, let me help you. Let me see if I'm getting this, because I don't want to let go of this question. Many in this room are nodding also, so I realize that the question is not just yours.

So in your being, you may be experiencing a lot of love. In your being, you may be experiencing a lot of love, maybe spewing through joy, maybe spewing through... now if that is happening inwardly, then do you have to pressurize yourself to express that, or is it not natural? And even if it is not coming outwardly and you are shouting at your daughter to study, is that an expression of lack of love? What are we judging ourselves on? Something like that only, Father.

There is no other tool or mechanism which will make this bridge happen. If it is inwardly there, it will find a way to express itself. And firstly, like your main discovery is that you are not this body. The best is this instrument which is as part of this universe, which is being perceived just like a dream body is no different from the dream, you see? And yet in the dream it can seem like I am somehow contained in this and this is my primary expression. But the entire dream is your expression, and that's exactly how it is here as well. So don't have this kind of pressure. Of course, it's natural for us to say, 'Yes, yes, this is how my expression is and this is how my expression is,' but this is just provisional. Don't take that too seriously. Otherwise, just imagine the pressure you put on yourself. This face should be maybe like...

In a dream, you see, and yet in the dream it can seem like I am somehow contained in this and this is my primary expression. But the entire dream is your expression, and that's exactly how it is here as well. So don't have this kind of pressure. Of course, it's natural for us to say, 'Yes, yes, this is how my expression is and this is how my expression is,' but this is just provisional. Don't take that too seriously. Otherwise, just imagine the pressure you put on yourself: 'This face should be maybe like this; I should not get angry at my husband and my daughter because I'm supposed to be open and empty.' You know, what is all that? In your openness and emptiness, that is freedom, and in freedom everything can come, yes, everything can go.

Father, I can testify whatever you're saying. It's totally here, and the trick keeps on playing of, 'Oh no, but this should not be like that.' So this is... yeah. I just, like I was telling you the other day, don't beat yourself up in this way that you are not enough. You are fully enough, fully enough. And don't allow or don't buy into notions when they are seemingly coming from the seeming others that you are not enough, or you're not free enough, you're not devoted enough, you're not worthy enough. You're not being enough, basically. It is 'you're not being enough.'

Yeah, exactly. Today, don't pressurize yourself at all in any way. Just relax, chill out, enjoy. Is that so difficult? Like now, you may pressurize yourself with this: 'Am I being fully chilled? I'm just so open to fully, fully empty myself up with all these concepts that I've gathered through hearing.' Haven't you given your spiritual encyclopedia to me like last year or something?

Yes, Father, but it just keeps talking. And oh no, Father, thank you so much, Father. It's just already a lot of pressure keeps releasing every time. This is right now, but so beautiful, Father. Like what Amba was sharing, I did not really... could not hear much of what you were trying to explain in between, but the crux of it is very much felt here. Yes, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Let's go. Hello. Sorry, the lights... you know, the power is going on and off. This is Rishikesh.

Well, it was the same here in Bangalore just before we started Satsang, the power. Okay, I was just talking to my mom and then she had something to say. She says, 'What you have... why you raise your hands? What you want to ask?' Yes, that's my question to you. And then she said in Hindi, 'You have less acceptance.' And I said... and then we started... I said, 'You don't know, you don't know anything.' And then she started. And it's about... I tend to get... I try not to get too serious about it because I really go into the story of it. It's this attack which I had four or five years ago. There was a stent in the artery. Yes, it was a heart... I even have come to a point where I just don't want to even say it's a heart attack because it sounds so damn serious. It's really heavy on my system. And I have heard Mooji Baba talk about... he would use the word 'pump.' So it's a pump attack. So that is... there's a sense of joy after seeing whatever it was seen in his presence and in your presence, and the sense of being and enjoying. But there's that story of this attack and fear is the fear around it which drags. I go into that story and I buy into it and it's almost like a panic because I have to take a certain medication every day. That sort of is there. And I just don't want to be in fear, you know? Do you understand? And I know sometimes even... it's very crazy how the mind works. Sometimes even there's a full acceptance of, 'Okay, if this body has to fall down, then I open my wings,' and all sorts of very poetic words to the other world and other side and all sorts of... but the fear factor is there. And I still remember when it was happening, when I was experiencing that attack, there was no really fear because I didn't know about it. I had no clue what it was, actually. But only after the memory of it, that's creating the fear. And this is all... I'm not asking a way out, but I'm just putting it out.

Really follow Amma's guidance. Amma is older than me. So if the fear comes, can you not accept that it comes? You know, so when we have the benchmarks or templates about how we should be by now, then we feel like, 'I've been in Satsang so long and I'm not being fully free as long as this fear is coming.' But freedom is not that. Freedom is allowing all states to come. Everything can come. So to be in acceptance of that, to be open to that coming and then going also, is freedom. Why do you have to decide how things have to be? I'm not saying that the rising of fear has to become some sort of enjoyable experience or something, but if it is arising, it's natural for it to arise. If you had this pump attack or whatever you want to call it, then it may be natural to experience some fear from time to time. And to put yourself in a position which is resistant to that is definitely not going to help the fear, you know? That resistance only energizes these. So when it comes, just accept it. And don't accept it like a false tactic: 'I'm accepting it so that you can go.' That is still not acceptable; that is a convoluted way of resistance. So accept it because it is coming, and then because it is coming, then it must be God's will. So it must be Guru's kripa that it is coming.

You know, I think there was one... in one of your meetings, Satsang, you said there are two kinds of people: the one who never want to go from here and the other one is they don't want to be here. I think because, you know, this sense of being and this beauty and this nectar which we are, there's almost an attachment to this form. Now what I feel like, it's time to tell you also that... so just give me your spiritual knowledge.

It is not coming. Although I can't see you, I can sense like you came out from the mother's home, you're next to mother now. Become innocent like that. Don't know anything about anything. It's good. I promise you everything will be fine.

Yeah, your words... it's not even trusting your words, it's almost like there's a knowledge what you're saying and know this in my heart.

All heart knowledge is allowed. All head knowledge can be chopped. Thank you so much. Am I saying something? No, she's just... she says she has no question. In fact, so when we accept everything like this... Okay, let's go to another first and then random case. Good evening, Father.

Yes, all my love to all of you, all this world. Thank you, thank you. Hello, Father. I cannot see you. First, I want to find you. Yes. So I just wanted to give this song to you for a very long time, actually. I wanted to sing. So this is the time. It is again from... which is very, very dear to my heart. So please enjoy.

Thank you all so much for being in Satsang today. You.