If There Is Time, Please Don’t Waste It - 29th December 2023

You know, the thing is that I'm still feeling like I'm sharing a discourse that's not feeling to me like we are conversing between friends, you see? And maybe because the Zoom is—I'm not able to see them, that's one thing—but let's try to make it a little more interactive here at least, so that I get the sense that I'm getting through to you. Either in 'Yes, that yes, of course it is true' or 'No, actually I don't know what you're saying.' It has to be one of them. The ambivalence is strange because what I'm sharing is very important, very transformative in all ways.

Please, I just want to say, I think maybe some of it is just the style that a lot of us don't want to, you know, we just want to hear and feel the presence. But I just want to assure you that everything you say is deeply registered. Speak on, and everybody feels it like, you know, a living being. And you know, something that I was feeling today in fact, and I was feeling very liberated because, you know, like when we had children we play board games. And you know, when I was a kid we used to play this board game called Monopoly. And you know, you had a little token and you were playing a game and you were all caught up in, you know, the properties you were going to buy with your paper money and all that, right?

And it seems to me like with this realization that life is a lot like that. Yeah, the token is this kind of body. Yes, we have been given this flesh of this body, and that's really like a biological token. And then the mind is creating this whole game and we're just attracted to all this fake stuff like the board game. This game also ends when the breath stops. And then, you know, we don't even recognize that we are playing different games during dreaming and waking. It's actually very liberating because you know that clutching to everything like it has deep value seems liberated.

You're liberated because you're two, as you're saying, you're two levels removed. You know, the Consciousness arises and then the body arises. And then so you're actually—it's like this is like the grandson and the inanimate, insentient—don't call it grandson—it's like really like a token of who we are. And so we should live life like that, and like it's a game. And you know, I like this example very much. And maybe that's why it's called board games, because Leela is supposed to be the entertainment of the Lord. The Lord got bored. Board game. Mute, mute. I can see the orange, like maybe that's it.

I thank you for all your responses in chat also. I'm just going to read these because these are very important also to—I'll just come to you, my dear. Yes, 'Something very real is here, more real than me.' Very good. 'There is a living presence in me, but I still want to be right.' This is the crux of it, you see? This is the crux of it, that it is here, but then I want to be right. I want to know stuff, I want to progress, I want to become smart, intelligent, free, enlightened as the 'me.' And in this, under this condition, we neglect the only thing that is really important in our life. We neglect that which life itself is made of. Without this presence, there is no life.

So, this need to live on our own terms, of which wanting to be right is the symptom, is the bane of the human condition. Because imagine the gift that we have: God's presence is here, and we make the choice to pick something else, to serve the non-existent being. This is the operation, firstly of Maya, and then the operation of 'my.' Very good. Then next one said, 'There is a living presence here, but it is not honored in daily life.' 'Yes, I feel a living presence inside, but I also feel some belief energy going to some thoughts.' Yes, this is true, but we must not say belief energy is going to some thoughts, you see? You must own it and say, 'But I'm still choosing to be right. I'm still choosing to want to believe,' because nobody can take that choice away from you because you are an aspect of that Consciousness itself.

So, just some thought cannot come and force you to believe it. You may see a lion walking into the room and you may say that, 'Oh, some fear came, hands were shaking, knees were shaking,' you see? All that was happening, but 'I was untouched,' you may say, or you may say 'I wanted to run,' whatever. But to believe a thought is not the same thing. This is what I've been trying to explain for a long, long time, that there's a distinction between the natural appearance of a lion and the natural appearance of fear, both in the realm of perception, you see? Between that and for a perception of a thought to come and you're taking it to be true, it is not the same thing at all. So, we must not conclude that it's the same, then there is no point of satsang. We should shut shop immediately because as long as belief in the identity goes and we can't choose to withdraw it, then what am I sharing any of this for?

It is only because you have the possibility to not take the false to be the truth, and then the truth will become apparent. As Bhagavan said, the Self will not be a new attainment, but ignorance must be let go of, and you must do it. Next one said, 'There is presence and there is resistance to it.' Which one are you honoring is the important thing. 'Father, this unreal me takes center stage.' Someone said, 'What was the question?' Okay, the question was whether the presence of God is here and is it apparent? And if it is here and apparent, then what are we doing with our life? Because if we truly saw it, came to it, then how would we be living a life which is a neglect of it?

Either we don't take God to be God, then—is it either we're not really taking God to be God, or we've not really come to the realization that this presence is not a little old me? It is the highest force, the highest being, or the only being in the light of which all the universes come and go. Next one said, 'There is a presence, but I don't live every moment in it.' Yes, but let's start with even predominantly. In the same place where you can get a sense that 'I don't live there any moment,' then can we say, 'Yes, but not every moment, but yes, predominantly I do'? Dominantly I do.

Next one says, 'It seems it's forgetting, remembering, forgetting, remembering. Yes, and the whole process is clear that the forgetting periods are not a life worth living.' Yes, yes, exactly, exactly. Yes, you're saying it. Even the prayer has not become the highest yet, is that the way you're saying? Yeah, it's like choosing, like choosing everything above God. It's like some or the other way, yeah, that is proceeding in some way. It's not like in every moment on everything I'm choosing God. Yes, but why not? Maybe. And the 'why not' is for all of us, you see? It's for all of us. But that is Avidya, that is ignorance. The very definition of ignorance is the misunderstanding that I can turn to a 'me' or to the world or someone in the world who is going to be better than me turning to God.

See, that is one. And the second resistance could be that in this moment we become very Advaitic—there is only one, who is to turn to whom?—and the next moment we have a fight with our partner, then it becomes, 'You are like this, you don't do this, you do like that.' So, don't fall for these primitive tricks of the mind. I am giving you this information; you have to turn it into knowledge for yourself. The information is that there is a living presence, a living being that lives within yourself, and nothing else is worthwhile till you come to that recognition, that realization. Are you getting that? That is what the project is. Firstly see, then the Jnana of the Absolute is a natural byproduct of that.

You may ask, 'Who am I?' You may say, 'Am I aware now?' You may ask all of these questions, but all that realization of the Self, which is purely Nirguna, will happen through the bridge of that which is both Saguna and Nirguna. You cannot just bypass it, and there is no reason to, because that is—it is God. So, when it is said that 'None can come to the Father but through me,' it is your Satguru presence, God's light within you.

I want to ask about one thing who raised something in like belief of thought. My uncle passed away in 2020. I was very close to him. We were in unsaid love bonding, and it was unconditional also. I got Corona from him when he got from his security guard. We were working closely. Suddenly my aunt shifted him to Delhi and he was admitted in Medanta. He was there for almost 30 days, 35 days. The day he was supposed to leave his body, before that day, somebody came to me, blessed me, and I could feel it. Next day, but there was something going in my mind like, was he himself there?

And then when Terahvin was happening, taking place, so I was with so much love, in grief also. There is a temple in our factory in that area. So temple was totally closed, was complete—the door was shut also. I asked God, 'God, if he was him who came to bless me, please give me some indication.' And then the temple bell rang there once. My heart always believed that yes, God answered. But as he raised this belief of God, I'm now again getting confused.

In my mind, I was wondering, was He Himself there? And then when the Aarti was happening, taking place, I was with so much love and in grief also. There is a temple in our factory in that area, so the temple was totally closed, the door was shut. Also, I asked God, 'If it was Him who came to bless me, please give me some indication.' And then the temple bell rang there once. My heart always believed that yes, God answered. But as he raised this belief of God, I'm now again getting confused. Was this my mind getting confused, not me?

So your heart, you said that your heart said. Your heart said so. If it was what your heart said, then that should never be doubted. It is only what your head says that can be doubted, discarded. So if your heart confirmed—you prayed to God sincerely, you said, 'Give me a sign'—that is what happened. You got a clear sign. Now why are you asking for more evidence? Same incident, but what is more important? Listen to what I have to say about this.

What is more important than any of that is that the one whose light shines through all of us, the one who is the highest, beyond life and death and beyond relationships and everything—that one is available to be found and to be lived in. Do you want that? You want that or no?

I want.

So relationships... why should that be a difficult question to answer? The one thing that we cannot deny is that to live in His light, to live in His presence, we must be empty of the 'me' or at least carry the deep intention to be empty of the ego. That is why the sages have said the lane is too narrow. When there is 'me,' there cannot be God; when there is God, there cannot be 'me.' It should be a universal lane. Why do they say it's a narrow lane? Why do they say it's a straight, narrow lane? Why have the sages, Kabir Ji has told us that? Because there is no room for 'me.' You must leave this 'me.' That is the only chance that we have.

So whether we do it by inquiry, whether we do it by prayer, whether we do it by drowning ourselves in love of God, whether we do it in selfless service, whether we do it in devotional singing—whichever way, if the 'me' is still primary, then God seems to be elusive. 'Why am I not getting it? Why am I not getting it?' Because everything is infected with the 'me' infection. So we must become empty for God. We must inquire and we must pray unceasingly till the 'me' becomes so transparent that only His light remains. And that tiny transparent 'me' must be kept as a servant of God because the spirit, the Atma that we've been speaking about, is Him.

So the question to be asked is: everything that has happened in life or not happened in life is like a dream. It started, it'll get over. All of us have to move on from that dream. But in this dream, do you recognize God's presence is here? Have you found Him? We must focus our life on that more than anything else because He's not just an idea. He's not something that is there like a support system. He is God, the ruler, the King of this universe, and His home is in your heart—your spiritual heart, your spiritual center. This is not poetry what I'm trying to say; I'm saying very literal things.

The problem is that we believe that we have time, whereas in reality we don't. How many of us keep saying, 'Yes, yes, my life is for this, but right now something very important is happening'? When do you think that will end? After the deathbed? After death? You think this Maya, this Leela, will not produce something every day to keep you distracted away from God? I think one day Maya will just wake up along with you and say, 'Today is for God, today is for nothing else'? No issue in relationships, no problem at work, nothing bothering you with the children, nothing wrong with money, body is fully healthy, everything is fine, and there is not some special entertainment available that just came out today? Even that can take us away.

So if none of that happens, then you say, 'Okay, then now, okay, today I can give to God.' Will that day ever come? It doesn't come. You have to make it every day. You have to make it. That's why I'm saying wake up in the morning, don't leave your bed till you find God. Don't leave your bed till God's presence is here, you're living in His light, and then allow the rest of the day to be moved by Him, to be guided by Him. Or don't say that you are spiritual. Something irritated you, yeah, but God is here or no? Yeah, see? So this distraction, I'm saying find God, and the mind says just sprinkle some irritation. What are we focused on? Yeah, but what happened to God's presence that I've been talking about for 45 minutes?

This is the nature of it, no? This is the nature of the Leela. And in fact, this is exactly what I was saying. Maybe I should have mentioned irritation. That will produce what is enough to take us away from Him, that we can say instead of celebrating, 'Yes, He's here, thank you God,' I'm getting irritated. See? Now, wait. Who is getting irritated? It's like what? Suppose you will resolve the entire human condition, huh? Why irritation happens, anger comes, who is the one getting irritated, when it will stop? You determine all of this and you die—you'll be happy? No, exactly. So then you have to focus on that which you really want.

So have a bit of a warrior mindset sometime, you know? Irritation comes, okay, next. Anger comes, okay, next. 'He's not understanding what I'm saying, I'm getting frustrated,' okay, next. All these messages will come from the mind. The feelings will be there, circumstantial evidence—'Oh, see, there's a dead body there, there's a dead body there, you can't say nothing has happened.' So it produces all the circumstantial evidence and we become detectives, Sherlock Holmes. 'Why is this happening? When will this stop?' And in the meanwhile, Atma is waiting. Yeah, this one has taken the next adventure. See, Atma is there; the mind is just the machine to distract from it.

Then something is getting through, something getting through. What do you feel the mind will do? You say what? It can even use joy. 'Yes, there's so much joy, Father, in hearing you, there's so much joy.' Yes, yes, but what about the spirit? Yes, so it can be irritation or joy or anything which is phenomenal. So don't talk to me about anything which is only phenomenal today. If it is on the cusp of phenomenal and non-phenomenal, then yes. If it is both, yes. But if it's purely phenomenal, forget about it. You can talk to me about that which is purely non-phenomenal or both phenomenal and non-phenomenal. Deal? Irritation is next because I don't want to know what happens here, you see? That I've heard often. This happened, then resistance comes, anger comes, frustration comes, irritation comes. I've heard all of that phenomenon. Okay, but what about what I'm saying?

The idea is not to come up with a diagnosis for what happens to the so-called you, the so-called me. The idea is to meet what I'm saying. Yes, at least if you are spotting the tricks with me, then we are good. Tell me something which is beyond phenomena. What is the instrument you will use? You can't use the mind. You can't use perception now. And we must not use terminology like this. As a tip, I'm saying, have you ever told me something and I have responded back saying, 'Something is getting very irritated hearing you'? I may have said, 'I'm getting very irritated hearing you,' but I've never said, 'I don't feel like I've ever said something here is getting very irritated hearing you,' have I? Have you ever heard a response like that from me?

Because that is to kind of say like I'm buying into the irritation but I don't want to say 'me' over there, so I'll just say 'something.' I'll convey also I'm buying into the irritation but I'm looking also. So 'something is getting very...' No half measures, you see? Either get fully irritated or don't say something is getting irritated. See, 'I am irritated.' I am, maybe in that moment, that's why I said it. And how many times have you heard it from me? Yeah, but I would rather, if I'm identifying with it, I would rather not say 'something here is getting irritated.' Either it is nothing for me or it is mine, I'm owning it. Okay, I'm identified, I'm deluded, I'm getting trapped in the trap.

But sometimes language makes us feel like we are not moving from a position of truth, you see? Like, 'I know it's not me, but still something is getting irritated.' No, then you're just saying that something is arising which is like a cloud in the sky. Doesn't matter, is it? But the tone of your voice doesn't convey that. You're not saying, 'Ah, Maya offered me irritation but it's nothing.' So either it's nothing or you're saying, 'I am getting irritated.' Yes, but do you see that that's a trick? So at least then our conversation is with much more integrity. Now that you are still getting irritated after hearing 45 minutes of a talk about the reality of God's presence within you, see, something is still very attractive, you see, in that thought of irritation for you.

So you can spot that and you can say that this is an affliction that I have. So once you spot it, then you can stop it. If you just spot it and you disclaim it immediately—'I don't know what happened'—it's like the child who gets caught with the hand in the cookie jar. 'I don't know how it got there, you know? Oh hand, you're there? How did you get there?' And this kind of Advaita-speak is also like that. 'Something just moved towards a cookie jar and something has a cookie in their hand.' No, you chose to go with that thought. You chose to go with that thought. Otherwise, no emotion has a label inherent in it also.

Can we really differentiate between emotion X and emotion Y? We have never experienced the same emotion twice. Every moment of our experience is unique. But we have these broad terms, like Guruji uses the example of anxiousness versus excitement. When you just look at the emotion, is the difference inherent in that? It isn't inherently so. So just to meet that label-lessly would not take you away from the presence within you. But to bind to the idea of believing the mental knowledge... how is it that for years I've asked, 'What is this? What is this?' and nobody's given me a good answer? But we have so many answers for every other moment except when I ask this. You know so much about what has happened to us, the story of our life, except for that one moment when I ask, 'What is this?' You don't know.

I'm just introducing you to the fact that we do not have the capacity in our mind to interpret even one moment, and yet we are experts in making stories of our life. And during all of this, what is happening? Time is passing. And before we know it, end of story. That is the story of life. You want to know the story of your life? Time is passing and soon you'll be dead. The rest of it is not relevant, except if time is passing but you came to the eternal light. See how irrelevant everything else is? And we are able to do that because somewhere we still believe we have time. If there is time, please don't waste it.

Okay, there's one who says, 'I don't feel I have found God as a living presence.' Thank you, very good. Very good that you're sharing that. So then, have you made it the top priority, if not the only priority, of your life? That is the first question. And the rest of it sort of has to wait till you do. Then suppose that you have, you feel that you have made it the only priority or top priority of your life, then inquire into the nature of who you are. Who are you? Sincerely, don't just do it as lip service. Who am I? Who am I? Who am I really? As if you're looking for the next... you're walking on the road and you don't know which way to turn, left or right, so you would say 'left or right' sincerely, isn't it? Ask yourself who am I sincerely, because you don't know who you are. Find out.

Or if that doesn't appeal to you, then say the name of God. Call Him, invoke Him with all your might, outwardly, inwardly, with any instrument. Surrender to Him with all your mind. Say that, 'My life is Yours, truly. All I want is You. My life is only for You.' If as a result of your inquiry or your prayer or whatever meditation practice that you have, you come to a point where you just open and empty, then remain like that. And if you're starting...

Find out who am I sincerely because you don't know who you are. Find out. Or if that doesn't appeal to you, then say the name of God. Call Him, invoke Him with all your might, outwardly, inwardly, with any instrument. Surrender to Him with all your mind. Say that, 'My life is Yours, truly. All I want is You. My life is only for You.' If as a result of your inquiry or your prayer or whatever meditation practice that you have, you come to a point where you just open and empty, then remain like that. And if you're starting to remain open and empty, then many times the mind fools you that 'I'm open and empty.' So what to do? Every few minutes say your prayer or do the inquiry so the mind doesn't make the open and empty into a position. As you empty in that way, His presence will be apparent to you. You're living in that light; hold on to that.

Some of you may feel that, you know, your temperament doesn't allow you to inquire right now. It doesn't want to pray in this way also right now. Then just see if you can love Him in whichever way that you resonate. If you love Him formless as presence, then presence. If you love Him formless as pure formlessness, then pure formlessness. If you love Him as Ram, Krishna, Jesus, Allah, then in those ways. Or if you love Him even in the form of your Guru. But find that unconditional love in your heart and stay in that. And the question is not how many minutes a day; it is our entire life unceasingly. And for this you need faith, courage, humility, gratitude, prayerfulness. And all of these come once you really truly commit to God in your heart and what you really want is to be in His presence. Then all these will also come. So you need these to stay in the presence, and as you stay in the presence, then this comes. You see, it's a virtuous circle.

The more you stay in your mind, the less faith you have, the less humility you have, the less gratitude you have, the less you want to pray. The more you stay in the heart, the more of all of these your life is blessed with. So really truly, I appreciate the integrity of this one, this brother who said, 'I don't feel that I met God's presence in my life.' And if you feel that somewhere when you are by yourself, not under the pressure of the satsang, then just follow. Because for a while you will not have the anchor of being just in His presence alone because you may feel initially that you've not even found it. But if you can say that, 'Yes, I have found it. It is here. Every time I look, the presence is here,' then just be anchored in that and use everything that I have said along with being anchored in that. Then it should be, at least conceptually, it should be much easier. Once you say, 'I spot the sun,' then to remain in its light seems easier. You can turn to it and you spot it, you see.

So for a while it can seem like we are lost. 'I don't even know what he's talking about. Where is His presence? Where is this living being?' And I'm very familiar with that phase of seeking because it was here for a long, long time. Full irritation, because Maharaj and all these teachers kept talking about, 'Be with His presence. Be with this. Be with the sense I am.' I said, 'Which? I can't even find it.' So you can feel anchorless, but I've given you all these anchors, all these tools that you can use. This one more thing I want to add is that one of the tools is to ask yourself, like, 'Who am I?' Why does a question like 'Who am I?' work? Because it can only be answered intuitively. In the same way that all the questions of the invitation work, because they can only be answered intuitively. And many of us try to answer them conceptually, but the true answer is found only intuitively. Why does a Zen koan work? Because they can only be answered intuitively.

So if you feel like inquiry is your temperament and that is your main practice, then use the question which makes your mind stop, makes it defenseless. Father, how? You know, what do you feel? We know, like in our heart, you know, like, have I found the presence of God? We may say whatever, but in our heart, you know. Is my life for God? We know. Now the mind will play the game. Of course, it'll doubt. If your answer is 'Yes, of course,' then you'll say, 'Is it really? Are you sure?' Yeah, then you stay strong in that. 'Yes, I know.' Or if the answer is, 'No, I still keep making it about other things and God is what I return to when I'm not playing with anything else,' you see, then use that. Notice that. Bring it into your light instead of being in denial of it.

So it's very important to look at it like that, to not be in some sort of denial about it. To say that, 'When do I really turn to God? If in this moment everything in this world had to go, just God's light is here, would I be okay with that for eternity? Nothing else ever will happen. Would you be okay with that?' So these kind of questions, use them to contemplate for yourself. You know the answer in your heart. Just like you know when we taste sugar. Some of these things we just know without having to think.

Just wait for the moment. If something is happening here, like normally happens, it could be irritation, it could be not believing in that moment that I can turn towards God also, but still there is some intrinsic feel. It's just like it is there and I know, but the action is happening differently.

Can you have faith that there is God and He is here and still believe the mind simultaneously? I'm not saying generically; of course all of us have faith and we still believe the mind. But I'm saying simultaneously, at the same time, not in that same moment exactly. So what I'm saying is moment to moment, moment to moment, thought by thought. We may look for one fell swoop, one kind of immediate solution; it's not like that. Our life becomes moment to moment. The choice between head and heart becomes clear. It is moment to moment. That is why nobody can ever make a determination of their permanent freedom. Nobody can also say that, 'I am going to be permanently humble.' Also, we don't know tomorrow what pride attacks you, what mind attack you fall for. We don't know these things. So get used to moment to moment, now, now.

But first, most important is that make your life for this. If you don't have that inner deep commitment and intention, then you will never do the moment to moment. It's only then when life starts to squeeze your throat you say, 'Oh, I have to go to satsang. I need a break from this.' You see, then satsang becomes like a break. Your life is truly to come to the company of the truth, which is what satsang is. Then every moment should be your satsang. When are you not in satsang? Life gives you the possibility to be in satsang every moment. The highest satsang. He is here as the Satguru presence itself, as God's presence itself. How do I see these things so that you realize the magnitude of what is being said? Because all these words have become overused and jaded: Consciousness, God, Satguru, presence. How do I make it literal for you that you can meet what is here in my heart?

Okay, but I know the mind is a trickster and will fool you. So for those who feel that they haven't met God's presence, have you found some direction in the guidance that I've given? Unceasing inquiry, prayer, devotion, servitude—all these tools are there. You may say, you may be able to decide and say, 'Inquiry is my main path, but when I don't feel like inquiring, then I can just pray.' Another may say, 'Oh, devotion is my main path. I want to chant, I want to pray all the time, but when I'm maybe bored or jaded, then I can inquire.' You may say, 'I don't know, sometimes this is, sometimes that,' but I can't really say. Then whatever, either, either, whatever is appealing in that moment. Remember, it's about your intention to be in His light. That is the most important.

If your intention is good, if your intention is that, and you just came to India and you heard some mantra wrong—you came to India and instead of Om you heard something, 'Om bo bo' something, and you do that—even that will work. Energetically it may not have the same strength, it may not have that, but more important than anything else is what are you intending? There is a story in India about this man who was dying or was badly hurt by an arrow or something—I don't remember the story fully—and in that moment he started remembering God and wanted to be with God. But instead of chanting 'Ram, Ram,' he said, 'I'm dying, I'm dying, I'm dying,' and that also worked and God came. So don't worry so much about the perfection of what you are using. 'Is my prayer perfect? Is it the right one?' All of that He will Himself answer all of those things for you. You carry the right intention with full mind in your heart and you turn towards Him. The path and the tools and what is your temperament, all that will become clear to you.

So then some of you may have questions and I'm happy to answer those. Because some of you may say, 'But I have work to do.' And one very sweet man also said, 'But my work is very analytical, can I do it?' Then I can provide answers and guidance based on your life situations to you. But from open and empty, from an inner prayer. If your long prayer doesn't seem possible in the middle of your work, then use your short prayer, like the arrow prayer. Use 'Ram, Ram, Ram' and then like that, using your breath sometimes as a mala. Sometimes you don't even need your breath; it just flows by itself inwardly. A lot of work is going on outside and then sometimes even that is not there where you just empty and all is flowing from there.

But you know in your heart when you're fooling yourself that 'I'm so empty' and when you're using just emptiness as a tactic to just come to some peace or something like that. To be empty for God is actually the highest. All of this is for that. And that's why I'm saying that every few minutes, even if you feel you're so empty, just use your inquiry or use your prayer. The mind can't fool you. Because for a while the mind goes, 'I got a bit of a clue to this, bit of a clue to this.' Because so many of you resisted the prayer versus just being empty, and then I found something very suspicious in that. Because to have a tool, have an anchor, is always like a sense of feeling supported. It always seems easier than just organically being empty, at least initially, at least in the stage that all of us are. So I got a sense that the mind is fooling us.

So even if you want to just remain empty, remain in the Unborn, but every five minutes, every ten minutes: 'Who am I?' You see, this kind of question gives you like momentum, isn't it, into emptiness? Have you noticed? You're like empty, empty, empty, okay, but after a few minutes the mind may come and at the same time it's saying you're empty. But when you use a question like that every few minutes, like 'Who am I?', you feel a pull towards the purely intuitive. You feel a momentum that even asking yourself sincerely once, it throws you out of this mind space into the heart space. The same for the prayer or the chant. Say 'Om'—it takes you away from the possible tricks of the mind.

Then our life becomes, then our life is spent in the quest for Atma, Atma Darshan, in the quest for meeting the living being of Atma within. Or either we are living in that or we are biding time. Those are the only options. There is no higher goal; there is no better place to get to. So if you're going to aspire, then this is the only aspiration that is worthy of us. All the rest is ajnana; it's coming and going, doesn't matter. This is the only antidote. This is the only thing that can quench our thirst. In the West sometimes what I've seen is that someone is feeling very thirsty, so they'll have a soft drink, and then after a while that makes them even more thirsty, they have another soft drink. Is it? So the mind chasing the egotistical desires are just like that. Don't ever fall for the trap which tells you, 'I'm going to finish off with all my desires, then my life is for God,' because that day will never come. 'I want to do this also, I want to do that also, I have so much time, I'm still young.' But every day I get news about somebody very young who left the body. Don't confuse youth and immortality. And it's a very strange thing to say also because...

The mind chasing the egotistical desires is just like that. Don't ever fall for the trap which tells you, 'I'm going to finish off with all my desires, then my life is for God,' because that day will never come. 'I want to do this also, I want to do that also, I have so much time, I'm still young.' But every day I get news about somebody very young who left the body. Don't confuse youth and immortality. And it's a very strange thing to say also, because you've been told about the highest. Whether you're twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, sixty, can you say, 'Yes, I've been told about the highest, but I feel like I can ration five years of my life to the highest, the rest of it can be fun or whatever I take to be important'? You can't do that. Oh, she had the mic first. Okay, yeah, yeah, go ahead. Don't be... yeah, yeah.

Might be a silly question, might be a silly question. I feel very clueless sometimes about God's presence. So after praying or while praying, there's sheer quietness. Okay, when you say sometimes, you mean always? Or we can be honest, don't worry.

Not always. Like now, is His presence palpable? That's the question I have. It's not like an exam that you have to pass with an A-plus or something.

I sometimes feel like God's presence is as if I have to find it as an object, you know? And I know that's not an object. And I sense something right now. Right now, I'm listening to your words and, you know, I'm feeling like to grasp it, and then there... okay, no, I don't have to hear it in my mind. Then it's quiet, and then I feel something moving.

And can you say that He is here? Not intellectually, not because you've heard it in satsang, but truly from your heart?

Yes.

Okay. What is that based on? It is based on something. Okay, so let I'll try and make it simpler for you. Is there something in my hand? Yeah, so there is something in my hand. What is that based on? A perception. Now, suppose your eyes were closed and I'm just telling you there's something in my hand. Is there something in my hand? No, I can't see. Yes, but because you trust me, you would say yes because I told you so. Is your answer one of those two? Because you trust the words which have been told to you, that God's presence is here, so we say yes, it must be here because you can't perceive it? Or is it something else? Because the question 'what it is based on' is very important. So when we say yes, His presence is here, how do you know? Do you say you can feel it or no?

No, I don't feel it.

So there are two ways to look at that answer. One is that it's not a feeling like love or anger or joy or bliss; it's not a feeling like that. Okay, let me turn the question: Are you here?

Yes.

On what basis?

I simply know I'm here.

I simply know I'm here. You simply know. Suppose I said you're mistaken, you're not here.

I am here.

How do you say? Don't I know? I... yes, yes, yes, I know you know, but how do you know? Is it like you know what's in my hand? Is it that kind of knowing? Or is it a kind of knowing which is like, oh, you've been told you're here? Is it that kind of knowing?

No, no.

Then what kind of knowing is that? This is 'seeing is believing.' You're saying, 'I'm not seeing.' They say, 'Okay, to hear it from a credible source, you can take it to be true.' You're saying that you're not saying based on that. Then what is this way of saying, 'Yes, I'm here'? Try to not be here. Try to stop being.

Not happening.

Not happening. Very good. So what didn't go away?

I didn't go away.

I didn't go away. In what way didn't you go away? Like, what confirms that you're still here? Is it that you can perceive?

I feel both, like I'm perceiving also and not only perception.

Yes, but okay, what is the perception part? What are you perceiving?

My body.

Okay, so suppose the eyes are closed, body sensations all go away, all the senses also go away one by one. Are you still here?

Yes.

So what are you seeing now or perceiving now?

I don't know.

You see, but you don't know. And yet it is undeniable, because you may be even willing to argue with me if I said to you, 'You're not here.' 'I am here,' isn't it? So it must be some very strong knowledge. But because it is not traditional, like it's not perception like this or it's not just a thought—and if it was just a thought, you would have said, 'Yes, I agree with what you are saying'—but there is something deeper. That is Atma. That is intuitive self-knowledge. It is beyond perception; it is beyond thinking. But in the case of being, we cannot even say that is purely non-phenomenal. I've gone too fast, too far? Okay, because like you said, it's a kind of perception but actually not perceiving, you see? It's a bit like that. Yes. So live in that. Stay with that with all your mind, even if you don't understand, even if the mind resists with everything that it has, because this is to live in God's presence. And the depth of it, the immensity of it, will be revealed once you commit to living in His light for some time. It may feel that, 'I don't even know what am I supposed to hold on to, I can't find it.' Then ask yourself: Can I stop being? Can I not be? That which doesn't go, you said, 'I'm still here.' So that 'I am' which is still here, the mind will try to distract you, divert you with many things, but use the prayer, use the inquiry, and just remain in this that you got a little taste of now. Make that your primary home in this life. Once you get the scent of it, then we must not leave it. You must follow it to the depth, to whatever depth it takes us. It may start off, you may feel like, 'I don't feel anything' or 'Do I? I don't really know.' But even then, dig, dig, dig, dig, go deeper and deeper. The questions are clear here: Can I stop being? Am I aware now? If you ask them truly, they will bring you to the right place. But you must want God with everything that you have, or you must want the truth with everything that you have. You must be tired of living the life... we must be tired of just living as a body-mind, as a bundle of flesh.

So next one says, 'I still fall for distractions and make other plans. I'm not making Him my priority.' Very... all your videos are off. Okay, you just have to remember your own name, that name Atma. Atma is asking this question. Next one says, 'Father, when I notice I believe thoughts, I look at it as the impersonal witness, surrender it to Grace, to the presence, pray, inquire, let go moment to moment.' Very good. 'They somehow lose their power, but some are quite persistent. Yes, also patience I feel is important.' Yes, with these persistent beliefs that I cannot demand from Grace that... no, no, no, you're absolutely right. And patience is very, very important, very, very important. But don't be patient with the mind or with your tendency to believe these thoughts. Don't be patient in the sense of... don't have this which... I'm not saying you do, but suppose this can be heard as saying, 'Yes, yes, they will go when they have to, I just have to wait.' No, you stop. You stop thought by thought, moment to moment. Nothing can force you. Let them come and let them go. And if you actually leave everything to Grace, then you won't pick up any thought anyway, because the thought is an offer to make it your problem. If you truly surrender and are attempting to surrender, then we must commit moment to moment. Patient in the sense that we will commit and we will fail, we will commit and we will fail. But when we commit, we are not going to say, 'Yes, I'm going to fail with the next thought.' When we commit fully, then we may be halfly done, but if you commit halfly, then it'll be not done at all.

Then next one says, 'We are used to the roles we play and the drama of the me gets more attention because the drama and noise here, the attraction is more and more to the peace of the Atma even in the midst of the drama.' Yes, this is the permanent reality that is recognized. 'Forgive this child for the insincerity and false presentation that somehow is made more important.' Very good, very good. Next one says, 'Ananta Ji, I feel the presence in my heart very clearly and currently it is a constant practice to keep bringing the attention back to the heart. However, when I hear you say God is here and the awe with which you say it, I'm unable to verify this with direct experience. Could you please help me here?' Yes, not actually... I can't help you more because this is all that you can do. This is all that you can do and we must do it. So my intention, my feeling, is to keep that fire burning strongly in you, that when the world distracts you with various things, you know that you don't lose the intention to remain with God. My intention is to keep your priorities very clearly defined for you so you don't waver from them and get confused. But the awe, the love, the deepening of this infection of God's love, the reverence for Him, the seeing the contrast between the moment that you're not in His presence versus the moment when you are—all of this will deepen as you remain in this. So keep at it, keep at it. Very good.

It's hard to hear. Okay, I can't... I don't know what's happening with internet today. 'Father, I place all the defenses of my mind at your feet, including my need to be right, especially my need to be right.' Yes. Are you right about this? Suppose I said you don't have that much need to be right, would you say, 'No, no, but I am right, I do have'? But I hear you, my child, I hear you clearly that this is the trickster, this is the bane of the human condition: our need to know, and know means to know rightly, you see? Nobody wants to know falsely. Nobody wants to believe or identify falsely. We think we are right, we believe we are right, and for that righteousness, the need to be right, for that pride, we let go of the highest. Because in our humility His presence is apparent; our being right only makes us proud. Very good, very good.

Okay, next one says, 'Yes, Father, nowadays while praying I can't see God is here and I'm doing it mechanically.' Yes, even if you're doing it mechanically, it's better than not doing it at all. But mechanically versus being in the presence—of course, being in the presence is very beautiful. So I hope you heard the guidance I gave to the other child, and if there's still a question, I'm happy to answer. Next one said, 'I found checking open and empty with an anchor like the beads or an arrow player is very helpful, because I find myself often fooled by feeling open and empty but at the same time not being able to invoke the name of God or praying with anchor like the beads or a prayer.' Yes, so that hopefully is also the name of God in some way, but you can share more if you like. 'And sometimes to be empty, is it easier to ask am I aware now rather than can I stop being? Which one should I stay with?' Both are intuitive questions and as far as intuition is concerned, there's no level of easy or difficult. Which one should you stay with? You stay with that which you find more comfortable. So if it's 'Am I aware now?' stay with that. The rest of it will reveal itself to you, it's fine. 'And when Guruji said to sit for thirty minutes, I feel both asked to stay with the being and to stay aware. Are we to stay with both simultaneously?' Well, that happens organically when you are just aware that you are this awareness itself. It cannot happen without the light of being shining. That is the light of the Satguru presence without which the truth cannot be known. And in the same way, when you just remain in the beingness, that itself guides you to even its source. So if you are following that instruction to just be open and empty for that period of time, whatever helps you remain like that is good. You will meet the yin and yang together, you will meet the manifest and the unmanifest together. Or at least we can say that without the presence of the Satguru, the Holy Spirit, the Atma within, we cannot come to the highest. So if you are coming to the highest purely non-phenomenal recognition, then even if your attempt may not be to do that, then that is happening because your being is apparent to you.

That instruction to just be open and empty for that period of time—whatever helps you remain like that is good. You will meet the yin and yang together. You will meet the manifest and the unmanifest together. Or at least we can say that without the presence of the Satguru, the Holy Spirit, the Atma within, we cannot come to the highest. So, if you are coming to the highest purely non-phenomenal recognition, then even if your attempt may not be to do that, then that is happening because your being is apparent to you. You may not even register that or be able to verify it, but you can keep checking and it'll become clearer and clearer, which is very good.

Could you put the mic closer? The volume today is very low.

Volume is full. Okay, my message is going through. Let me check. Yes, yes, it's a constant choice and letting go moment to moment using the various anchors. Yes, that's the one.

Yes, Father. Both my children are in the Satsang with you today. Please, could you give your blessings to Izzy and Oscar?

Look, I don't believe they're the same kids. The same kids? They look exactly 18. 18 and 20? What are you saying? 18? Oh wow, that's amazing. It's been too long, too, too long. All my love, all my blessings with all of you. And I remember you kids when you were so, so much smaller, almost what, 10 years ago was it? Yeah, yeah. And we met each other when I visited London. I remember I saw all of you. So happy to see you after so long. And your mom and I are going to have a bit of a chat about why that is later, but for now, for now, she's not in any trouble, don't worry. Hope His grace, His blessings, His love, His light is always with you. And whatever paths your life takes, you find a source of stability, a source of peace. Whenever you are anxious about something, may you be able to turn to His presence, His light in your heart, and may your life be led in a very simple, effortless way. All my love, all my blessings. Such a gift. Thank you, thank you for this.

Next one, Father. Do we need to ask the question 'Who am I?' after the Atma Darshan, or rather in silence? Do we need to ask the question 'Who am I?' after the Atma Darshan?

You can. You can if you like. Hopefully with the Atma Darshan you come to the recognition, but if you feel like it will be helped by including the inquiry, yes, yes, that's fine. Then you say the second voice is heard or your presence is recognized. The heart is... how can such love ever be expressed? Yes, that's very welcome, very welcome.

There were some other questions now on the chat. You want to take them now? Some questions that I missed answering in your Satsang? It's okay. If it's not alive, it's whatever you feel. Yes. Okay, then you have to sing for us instead. Is it early? I feel like I'm done.

Okay, Father. Okay, I can sing, but then everybody should follow the line what I will be singing. Please help me. This Bhajan is Shabri is waiting for Bhagavan Ram.

Thank you, Father. Thank you. Jai Satguru.