I Give You All My Chopping Sword - 4th May 2022

Yeah, you can make it—if you go to view, you can make it a gallery view instead of—

Yeah, I made that. Yeah, and it's like, and at that moment when this grips up, this extreme fear of—it feels at times, Father, that everything is vanishing and at the same time there are complete identification with the body of, 'Where am I? What's happening?'

Are you doing some other practices or something?

Father, no, no, no practices. We just—because did that retreat of, it's just meditation, silence, sitting for three days. So I just attended that. In fact, I was like completely as if everything was taken away, totally light here and just nothing. And then one day later I was sitting by the pool and suddenly that again that warm energy came and then it just, it just feels nowhere. Like, and it's, it's so—it's a lot of fear that comes up, Father, with it. Otherwise I'm doing nothing, just listen to satsang, Guru Ji's satsangs, whatever, attending satsang here.

What is the energy like? It goes from the base of the spine?

Yeah, yeah, like I feel from below. I can't say there, but yeah, from the base of the spine it becomes numb. Like, till my—and it becomes so numb that I feel I can't comprehend anything. I can't understand. I mean, I don't know, it's, it's baffling. Rather, it's there is like as if it's oppressive. It's not—if there is no good or bad in it, Father, I think I am getting scared maybe when it happens that I, I feel—I feel the clarity of every pointing goes away. Like there's nothing, no nothing. And the clarity of every pointing—I think the vigilance with which we've been practicing this sadhana of, 'It's everything is appearing in this space,' or trying to be here constantly is what the practice was happening. Trying to be there, just in the witnessing, Father. Just that everything is appearing. So this, this one who is constantly talking that, 'Okay, but who's seeing it?' But so this one also is now really bothersome. So this is the 'I' that I've been constantly getting offering up rather, you know, because the—there's a—so all the teachings have been understood or taken by the mind and that is the spiritual ego which then is trying to be your inner guide in some way.

Yeah, it is not fragrant like the heart. It is oppressive like the mind. Yes, so that is what is oppressing. But who is getting oppressed? So let's really look at this floor. There's an energetic movement. We won't define it, but there's nothing in what we've said so far which makes it seem like it is bad news. It is energy. So there is energy happening. There is this interpreter guy which has all the spiritual Gyan now, either from Guru Ji, from me, from all the satsangs you've attended, and it is saying, 'Be the witness.' I go where? Now all the stuff is learned and it's been many years since you've been in satsang. So this is—there is that. And all of this seems to be oppressing me now. Energy? Okay, phenomenal. This voice? Okay, phenomenal. Perceived, both perceived. The 'me' that is getting oppressed is what specifically? The 'me' that is getting oppressed is—he is suffering from this, from these afflictions. What is its nature? What is his attribute for me?

So Father, this is the identification. Sometimes this 'me' who is getting affected is also phenomenal, but most of the time it is identical many times—

Give me your spiritual encyclopedia because she knows so much spirituality that that knowledge itself has now become obvious. I'm just saying very simply, like I would ask a child, who is who is suffering from this pain? We don't have to think spiritually and say, 'Oh, because of my identification,' you know? Show me, show me where is the one that is getting oppressed. Not hearing? No, this is fine. Same here. Can you hear me now? Okay. Can you hear me now? Yes. AirPods hear me now? Come here. Who is this one that is getting oppressed? Who is the one that is in trouble? Who is the one that is suffering? Who is the one that wants to—who is that one?

One said it's subtle.

It's not subtle. It doesn't exist. It's not subtle. One says it's an identification, but an identification doesn't create an entity who is suffering. An identification is just a belief in an entity, you see? Just because we believe in an entity doesn't make it real. So we may have the power to take the false to be true, to take the false as true, but we cannot make the false become. So what problem is the existent one having? The non-existent one suffers. The suffering is not real because it doesn't exist. The sufferer doesn't exist. So the only one that suffers is the one that doesn't exist. So is your suffering real? So all of this will seem until real, but as long as we keep going with, 'Just because it feels real, it seems real, it has to be,' and then we are still lost. Show me the sufferer. So when you say 'I am suffering,' are you representing yourself as a body? If you see a body, okay, I'll say yes, there's a phenomenal perception of something that you call the body. Or you can say, 'My being, I Am, is suffering.' Or you can say that that which is aware even of being 'I' itself, Awareness is suffering, or the Self is suffering. But who is suffering? The body has a grudge? Does the body have a grudge? Does your being have a grudge? Does Awareness have of that? So from this grudginess, who is suffering now? The one who understands everything is the most difficult one to carry around because it is open, it's fully closed, it knows so much. It has heard from the greatest master, it has had the highest experiences apparently. So that is difficult to cut through. But can you suffer without knowing anything? Will you suffer without conceptual models? You can experience pain and pleasure without knowledge, but can you make suffering out of it? Can you make pride out of it? Can you make regret out of it, resentment out of it? All can be experienced, but can you suffer from it without buying into this mind's voice? Yes.

Follow. I want to tell you something, all of you something. Some of you have been with me for many years, many years. Don't let the mind believe you around. Enough of this stuff. Yeah, just—I have—there's something like hardly anything bothers me, but this is one thing. This tiny insect of a mind pushes my children, and as a father I would say, 'Okay, I can do everything,' but if you choose to believe your mind, I cannot help you there. That you have to do for yourself, you see? As Consciousness, nobody can take that power away from me. I cannot even pray and say, 'Oh, let my children not believe this limited identification,' because who am I talking about? This Consciousness itself. Nobody can divest Consciousness of its power of belief. But you as Consciousness cannot be pushed around by this time. Enough now. Is enough representing your reality accurately? It is not representing you well. Yes, enough. And I've shown you the alternative. I've shown you the alternative and you have seen for yourself that you are not lost without this mind. So if it presents you as a mosquito that's getting swatted around all the time, are you just gonna buy into all of this stuff? After seven years, five years, three years of satsang, it continues with its representation, then you just keep buying them. What can appear? What energy, what perception, what can appear that can hurt your reality? How long are we going to do this ping-pong? I come to satsang, I leave satsang and the mind pushing me around. I come back to satsang, I'm fine. It's okay if you're new. Some of you are new, it's fine. But come on. And we recognize the thought to be a thought now. Can we not recognize the one that is representing us is not us in our reality? How long will we—why do this? 'I get shaken, this happens to me.' Why is it not settling? When is it like a clarity? What is all of this about? And it's not that I've given any of you any work to do. There's no homework, there's no better, there is nothing. Can you all recognize your own power? I am informing you that you are Consciousness itself and beyond. How long will you continue to play like this tiny object which is like—you don't even know, maybe I'm something small living inside my body or some nonsensical notion like that. No mean stuff. Enough or no? And don't make any distinction between satsang and no sense as we've done with these children. 'This happens to me.' And nothing happened to you. There is no 'me' like that. What do you say? So what bothers me is this tiny mind can push you around and you don't even make it work hard. At least let me give you something good, something new to bother you with. How many years will go on with this stuff? How many lifetime? In next life I also—

Some nonsensical notion like that, no. I mean, stop it now. And don't make any distinction between satsang and nonsense as we've done with these children. This happens to me and nothing happened to you. There is no 'me' like that. What do you say? So what bothers me is this tiny mind can push you around and you don't even make it work hard. At least let me give you something good, something new to bother you with. How many years will we go on with this stuff? How many lifetimes? In the next life, I will also say again, okay, I remember in my past life I used to be a teacher living in Bangalore and a lot of you kids used to come to me. And next time when this is going on, after that, once at the bank of Ganga...

It's one thing for the individual to appreciate what you're saying, and let's say that that understanding is much older. But when you're relating to another, how does one navigate that space without actually conceptually...?

We don't ever know what is a good outcome. Maybe like in that situation, you need to bother the other person. We don't know. Or maybe we need to not. We don't really know, isn't it? And conceptually, mentally, we can never really know. So the best is to follow the heart moment and trust what is happening from there. Sometimes silence comes, sometimes like all of this ranting is coming today. I don't know where it is coming from. I started... sometimes it's okay to shake up the one. Some of you may get hurt by what I'm saying and some of you may say, 'This is wow.' Because I'm coming to satsang and we feel like it's too early. So I said your suffering, you say, has brought you here. So why not allow them to also suffer? Maybe it will open up something there. I'm not saying that is a template. I'm just saying that if that is what your heart is playing out, trust that. Don't try to control so much conceptually.

So everybody's life as aspects of consciousness is their own. And as long as there is access to our heart, at least it gives us a compass, in other words. Otherwise, it's just all over the place that life can seem so confusing. So at least when we dive into the deeper intelligence, we have a compass that we can trust. And as long as we don't believe in mental outcomes of what should happen—and that is the biggest problem that we face when we go to intuition—is that we burden it with a preconceived outcome. That's okay, now I don't know how to get to that point, so I'm going to trust my heart to get me to that point. But the heart may start working left and going to a completely different point opposite. Don't do like that. Trust me. But your heart is just vibrating to its own beat and you may find that. So trust whatever is showing up to be grace, you see, and follow your heart momentum. But first, remember nothing can be hurt here in this playground, is it? Because what happens is there's so much pressure. Even though, please, you know, take care of me as if something can happen to me. So nothing can be hurt here.

So on that same thing, just translating our life experience. So there's been a situation where the outcome has been unfavorable, like really unfavorable. But if I rewind the clock and look at kind of all the so-called intuitive decisions I made, I'm not going through any regret module even though the outcome is not what I wanted. So would that be some semblance of, 'Hey, it's okay, intuitively I did what I did, the outcome is unfavorable, I have no regret'? Is that kind of what...?

Mostly this kind of judgment doesn't usually arrive. That's why I was talking about that question, that it doesn't judge everything, anything, to be so strongly good or strongly bad. It's just... after in 2006, I had to leave this very large software company that I had. And at that time, nobody could have told me that this is the best outcome for me. A huge company, like eight, nine years of effort, I need to exit now. An unfavorable outcome from a societal definition, but from an intuitive standpoint, see? So now I want to tell you importantly that although you've been constantly pointing to your intuition, don't use that as something to help the 'me'. So that's why I said last time at the beginning of satsang that if you still feel like some guidance is needed, then you are not left without guidance. Intuition is available, but you primarily use your intuition for self-recognition.

But otherwise, just trust life moment and don't misidentify. These are just mental adventures. You have not taken birth, you are not going to die. So all those elements that you think are happening to us in between are not you. All of this is Maya. All of this is your false self. Don't spoil your sleep over this small false self. Energy is coming, let it come. Now who is it for, the energy? Either way, you don't have to do anything about it or fix anything or change anything or try to ask why is it happening or what is it. Oh, this stuff right now, enough. You know, it's not like that. These are very uncommon type things which are coming out of this mouth. Let's get to the program a bit, huh? What is difficult? What is... you don't go to the mind. And how many times you check who's oscillating? Nobody's listening. You want to perfect your experience with 25% blues, 25% joy, this much love, you see? If you want to have satsang, you have some idea of what your perfect state has to be. Just throw it away. Stop trying to micromanage God or control God. This should not come. Then become a Muslim. Stop all this smartness. Stop all this criticism. This is the truth. And go to this. Just like, how long will I keep meeting? It has become like a comfort zone for us. Now this, now this is happening.

So what is the perfect state we should all come to? What is it that you want? Your 'want' is the only one that gets in the way of acceptance. What is resistance? An idea of what you want which differs from what is. An idea of what I want which differs from what is. Like right now, seemingly resisting my children. I don't want you to be like this, I want you to be like that. No. So that's a resistance. So in the same way, what is it that you want? If you say, 'Okay, what you experience when you come to satsang, this should always be like that.' You can't have it. Forget it. Can't have it. Then what else you want? Inward? You can't have it. Forget it. Then what else you want?

So Father, actually it's the perfect want of the perfect self, I guess.

Want of the perfect self? You can't have it. Forget it. Not just the self, also perfect self. Self never shaking, always clear, pulling down what is. Because look at how Father behaves and look at what happens. These kids used to do this, but when I started ten years ago, then all these kids... Home, which is the place that you're coming from. I am coming from the place of the pure self. But you are clearly coming to me and the pure self is making all these reports. Can the pure self see you as you? Can it make a judgment about you which can create separation and falseness? Stay away from people who talk too much. Yes, simplicity. This simple, simple friend. Oh, major gum session.

Yeah, Father, I think I see it very clearly. I think exposing it, it came out in front of you and that's the thing that was probably somewhere creating all this mess.

Okay, now suppose you left the truth far behind. Suppose you've left the path. All the years with Guruji, with me, all of it conveys complete waste. Now what are you? Can anyone take the... can you leave the truth? Leave the truth. Don't try to leave the truth. Don't try to live the truth. Don't... yeah, I feel like I want to say it to some of you that you put too much pressure on yourself. Put too much pressure on yourself. You have to come from the right place. I don't know where I come from half the time. Like what right? You know what it is? Forget all this. There's too much pressure. It's like trying to squeeze in God into this measly body and saying, 'I have to embody God.' We've been talking about this so much. Yeah, how your friend can see from your words, they can tell you're coming from the wrong place. They have some enlightenment thermometers. It's all gone. You'll be deeply identified and taking yourself to the ego, but right now you're free. Thank you, Father. So don't try to live some perfect enlightened sage life. This feature, too much spiritual gap. Rather just cleaning yourself so much like, you know, that's what is the meaning from what you're clean? No, you're fresh fully.

Exactly. I don't know why, Father, I just keep going back to that cleaning the 'I'. I don't know, Father, I... so it becomes so clear and then again that loop of cleaning the 'I', you know? But it does not even exist. But I have to keep cleaning each and every vasana, you know? And that's the track. I'm so happy I'm able to expose it. Yes, Father, thank you so much.

What are they called? Just doing dado, portray yourself. What is happening? I keep clicking for what? You, right now, before you even start. Nobody can fix the human condition to become a godly condition. Nobody can fix it. Okay, let the human condition be the human condition. You rest in God. This body will go from birth to death and in between it will do all the shenanigans. Don't try to be some enlightened body or something. That's not going to happen.

Yes, somewhere these things that you're saying, they're like confirmations here. But and it's... I'm ready to just let go of all that nonsense. That's why probably I could never clean myself and that's why I hear you are not truly following it, you're not truly doing it. But who has been able to live in front? This is the stuff which makes spirituality all this painful. You're not good enough if you're not even... yes, you still have these thoughts, you still have that thought.

Yes, and Father, who I am doesn't even need to be... it doesn't even matter. I mean, it's just so open, like there is no nothing to be cleaned. I mean, what? So does God use what, clean what? So how are you cleaning yourself? He seems like a pear is kind of guy. This is how we trouble ourselves. We have no problem. We create these problems because we feel like, 'What will I do?' You're right, Father.

My problem is with too much intelligence. Conditions actually allowed too spiritually smart. The best which in the universe is already good for you. It's available now. The mind will come and say, 'Let's add some salt, it's too sweet. Let's do all of this, it needs some lime.' That is called problem creating for no reason. I hope none of you here are saying things which means, 'I do coming from when I do it.' So sparingly given that you're my children and my job is to point you in some way. I don't want all of you to be judging each other. Nobody can, nobody can measure like this. Somebody told the child of mine that she's not clean enough and she's lost track of the truth and she's left it far behind. So I am getting my boat a bit, so I'm ranting. How many of you believe in believing the same stuff from three years ago? Same old, same old. Such an easy job is your mind then, if I had that job.

Yes, Father, this makes you actually like a sheep. And this, you know, and it's... you know, there is the metaphor that Papaji was like the lion. There is such a... you know, you can confirm that being here. And then when you're trying to do fakes, that becomes like a sheep-like thought.

When is have God? What is the matter? Your presence, your being is God. And the little mind has just a thought to throw at you. And who's winning? Suffering is one round to the mind. So who's winning this match? In the meanwhile, while all this is going on, God is sitting in your house as who? As your being. If you make your own immensity into another experience, then all this will happen. What you're discovering about yourself through your intuitive insight, if you just make it an experience and keep it in memory as an experience, your mind will say, 'Oh, full black empty space, look at you, you are like that' and...

And who's winning? Suffering is one round to the mind. So who's winning this match? In the meanwhile, while all this is going on, God is sitting in your house as who? As your being. If you make your own immensity into another experience, then all this will happen. What you're discovering about yourself through your intuitive insight—if you just make it an experience and keep it in memory as an experience, your mind will say, 'Oh, full black empty space, look at you, you are like that.' And you make an experience out of yourself, then it will seem like you're oscillating. Now, what is your reality right now? Who's aware of these words right now? Is that you an experience you are having? Is your discovery of yourself an experience you have?

So if you make it a spiritual experience and then you try to, as a me, try to juggle your spiritual life and worldly life and try to make everything what? The perfect self and mastery over the world. 'Get mastery over your spirituality, I can go to myself whenever I want.' All this kind of nonsense. This is still screaming. Yourself is not an experience you are having. You're not the experience you, as me, is having. Like, I play a computer game; that is an experience I'm having. I spoke to this person; that's an experience I'm having. I came to satsang and I found this awareness; that's an experience I am having. There is no such me. You're discovering your own self to your reality. You're not coming in and having a spiritual experience. That you is experiencing this universe. This entire universe is an experienced phenomenal experience for that reality that you are.

So you are not in some roller coaster ride that 'I am high on my spirituality' and so on. You are the unchanging. All these words of the sages are not to report on the state of me, or especially not to report on the state of others. 'I think you are so far from the truth.' Who are you really? Why is it just 'I do inquiry, find out who I am, or get a glimpse of who I am, and then I'm a much happier person'? Is this all? That's another popular concept. I come to the discovery of my boundless existence and then in that boundless existence I'm trying to live that as a body, human body. Is this stuff how the boundaries get encapsulated? Bunch of falafel, something close to believable, kilometers away from... so good to hear this. So recording all of you trying to do spiritual. Okay, what else first?

Chopping. You want to chop your conditioner? All done. To know what? To know what you should know? To know what you should know to know what we should do? Never gonna happen. Just never gonna happen. Accept it or not, I don't know why all of you come here. That's okay. Since this sense of the sense, am I looking for the Self? Uh, sense of 'I' looking for the Self is okay. One more thing to find and the one looking for this one to disappear should be there. One more thing. Give your spiritual progressive... oh, the sense of 'I' is looking for the Self through there. That one is the most oppressive aspect of the spirit. And apparently it is not enough to judge ourselves with these hardships, but it is important also to tell others one way of the truth and all that. That is the embodiment of what? What are we importing? The spiritual ego.

Not only is it so oppressive to ourselves, it wants to then... maybe that is the idea of becoming a spiritual teacher. There's something happening, I'll just be able to correct everybody's spiritual mystery. And then everybody will come. Quite a position to have. Something sounding like, 'Yeah, to be like Father in the future.' But Father is done. This expression of consciousness is done. You will be free in your own, so don't have a benchmark. Don't say, 'I want to be, feel like your Father' or whatever. You'll be free like you. Yeah, I mean as free as you. Yeah, as free as... yeah. How do you know how free I am? If that is available to you right now, why in the future? That freedom is available to you. You take care of the moment, I will take care of the future.

Who wants to always come from a place of truth and I always want... forget about it. Just leave. Where can they come from? Like, what are the options? One: consciousness. Two: option two? No, there is no option two. Always is constant. Does your mind know how to move a finger? It may have learned some knowledge of 'my brain fire some neurons,' but does the mind know how to fire a neuron? Fire one neuron? Not true. Can you do it? Don't do it. No, in the mind. So how can action happen with the mind? All this is moving on the screen of consciousness, in the light of consciousness. The mind just is the subtitling, who makes the narrative according to its convenience of making a believed limitation. Otherwise, the narrative would also all be common. If there was some truth in the narrative, then all the narratives would be seen. But mind is interpreting this, even this situation, differently.

There's a truth in that. Just a subtitling machine which is designed to give you this sort of personalized experience in a bundle of thought. Do something. So all this about, okay, being, thought, action, as if it's in series. It's on being. In the light of being: thoughts, actions, happenings, all of this. That is the true position to her position. In reality, none of this has ever existed. The true position is: what causes anything? Consciousness. What experiences are living? Consciousness. Who are you? Who is the person? Non-existent. Who is the sufferer? So today, can we leave this idea that when I identify, then the sufferer is born? It's just like I told you about the story of this boy. You believe the story, you felt like there's a boy. Like Helen said, 'How can we help them?' So he's just in the same place. But it can never become your best buddy.

Right now, right now is not the time. It's like a child who is sharing... my brother, actually my younger brother would make up a lot of stories. Just like, 'I met this one, I went there and I saw people.' He would tell me all these things. What is he saying? And he's an aspect of God. Should I believe the stories to be true? So nobody is denying that even the mind is consciousness, but it is designed to make these stories. That's another machine which has no real protagonist. It is designed to make consciousness itself believe that it is limited. So to come to freedom, just to let go of that. I'm not saying it is not made up of God; it is God's design only to make this important. Your next mission is this: you have to rescue the princess from there. Made all of this absurdity and sold along with a powerful narrative, it can seem like it is my story.

When to make I-am-ness play as if it is 'I am something,' you see? Who else can attach something to I am? I am itself. No, something may be provided by the mind in the design of the I am itself, but I am to accept it and say 'I am something.' I am man, I am person, I am seeker. You see that? Only I am. I think you'll force the appending of something as to I am happens automatically. 'I'm just the innocent victim, the mind comes.' Then there's no chance of freedom. The mind... then we should all create of the mind because it is the mind that is all-powerful if it can... it's not possible to identify or attach something because it is only 'I am something' which causes trouble. The ego is 'I am something.' So can it happen if I try it with your being?

Your being is just here now. Without the power of your own being, which is the power of belief of your own being, identify. Identify your being into something, to any sensation, to the body, to a friend. Identifying if you're without your being given the truth, giving the yes. That's how open and empty works. If you are just your being is open and empty, it is not zeroing in on that thing. Can you be open and empty like that and identify? Don't do it. In your openness and emptiness, all these messages can come from the mind. You have to zero in first with your attention. Consciousness is only just like a program which is programmed to produce thought, and those thoughts we call mind. Absence of those thoughts you call no one.

The difference: this, an appearance in the design which is designed to produce these energy messages which we call thoughts, versus saying there's an actual entity there. It's not only the consciousness all there is. Suddenly a thought comes and that 'all there is' actually squeezes into a mold and becomes a person. Then what? What happened to the beggar? The consciousness then became a person. Then what happened to consciousness? Or then consciousness, okay, take my toe, do become all these representations of various forms. In your direct insight, you will not find any distinction, but in your being absolutely. So just for conversation, just for information, we may say use different metaphors. Different teachers may use different metaphors, but your insight, the same realization.

What a problem is, our problem is we forget to laugh. The face of utter stupidity and absurdity from the mind, we forget to laugh. True sounding fashion. It's okay to laugh. Absurdity. Just, I give you all my chopping sword. You all can see this fallacy. This fallacy that, 'Oh, my mind is so strong. Oh, my mind always gets you.' I can't get you. The strongest mind, that means your most nurtured concept. What is strongest one? It is your most nurtured concept, most believed-in ideas which are central to your identity. They have no power unless you give it to them. Nothing can come and grab you. You are God, you are consciousness. So it can come and grab you? All these tiny, measly ideas? A thought? A thought, can it grab you?

You put the keys in the locker, you open it, you reach out to it, you hug it and you say it comes. Belief. Your attention is your primal power. Nobody can force it on you, not even attention. Although belief is much simply... I think that force our attention, but belief is so easy. If you operate from like a half-believe state, you already believe that 'I am this.' Just, it's like some of these companies, they serve you have half-cooked, almost ready to eat. You just have to microwave for two months. You keep yourself in that sort of acceptance of nonsense. Show me the thought between... who is this you that you seem to pedal away so easily? Exchange it for some motion. This fight should not even be a fight. The mind has thoughts, you have God. How can this be a real fight?

Your being is magnificent. Your being. So today onward, now onwards, please don't take yourself to be this sort of weakling. 'My thoughts, all my energy, oh my existence.' What are you taking yourself to? We have all the glorious masters on our walls. Most powerful, most direct are available to you. You become so sheepish. This little something comes. Okay, deal or no deal? Thank you. Thank you so much, Father. Thank you. Full warrior mode now, yes? With all this sheepish behavior. Thank you, Father.