I Am That Knowingness Itself - 7th October 2016

So I know you say, 'I am aware of presence,' you see? So 'aware of'—keep changing that, that is the content. So leave the 'of.' You say, 'I am aware.' What does this already mean? You know? And the 'I' that knows, which one? In knowing, 'I' and 'knowing thing'—are you saying that these are... 'I' is knowingness itself?

This time knowingness is allowed. If I say... but don't... it's like a stream ecology saying that the glimpse is that I am this knowing and awareness, and any amount of thoughts are not going to change that. But when the attachment is coming in, this feeling of knowing seems to get lost.

No. The attention is moved off, basically.

Ah, okay. So attention moved.

Yes, attention moved. So what happened to knowing? It's still... it's there. That's it. It knows what's at the backdrop. Even to say attention moved on, don't we have the knowingness of this changing? But the backdrop remains the same. Isn't it? Just now when you ask this question, 'What is this attachment?' Yes? To know detachment, I must lose... I really looked and I said to what? What is this attachment? Attachment is not too bad. This attachment is to just be happy. The attachment to be here. The attachment is to happiness.

Yes, always to happiness. And that gives us the most unhappiness.

Yeah, is it? When there is to happiness... second... just... oh, okay. Let's go into this. To say that something is 'mine' is how attachment is normally. And this to this until... but this 'mine,' why is that? There is a 'me' and we label in this realm of constantly changing appearances. We try to hold on to something saying, 'This is mine.' Now, this is foolishness because everything in this phenomenal realm is constantly changing. What will last? We don't even know for sure that it is this body that we wake up tomorrow morning. So attachment to objects in this phenomenal realm is sheer foolishness because already we know that it is changing. Everything is constantly changing, you see?

Then as we dig deeper, we find that what our greatest attachments are. And you can find them out right now. What are you most fearful about? You say everything is okay, but 'this should not happen to me.' These are your greatest attachments. And it's pure ignorance, you see? Because that which you are saying should not happen is going to happen one day. So attachment is to label something as 'me' or 'mine' when it is not. It is part of the play of consciousness, the movement of consciousness. We say that 'I want control over my life,' which means that my life should only have certain states. And the state I would like, you know, is really giving an order in a restaurant, is that 'I would like the state of happiness, please.' And life says, 'No,' you see?

So freedom is not a state. Freedom must be the allowing of all states to come and go. Now, funnily enough, that is happiness. You know, we're not even concerned with happiness; that is happiness. And we attach ourselves to only a certain state: 'I want happiness, I want joy, I want bliss, I want enlightenment, I want freedom.' These are just ideas, as if life will dance to the tunes of the non-existent one. Because the 'I' that wants these things, we cannot even find it. And the 'I' that is here, we constantly deny. This is the upside-down world of the mind, you see? The 'I' that wants something that we cannot find; the true 'I' which is always here that we refuse to look at.

So she says that 'I am that knowingness itself.' How many of you would agree? Good. So when the question was asked, 'How is knowledge to be achieved?' this is what we are talking about. And also the concept 'I am knowingness' or 'I am awareness,' which is the same thing, will not help us. It has to be seen now. Now, who is witnessing all of this? Who is the witness of everything that has an attribute? What is that? So that's why I've given you these questions to make it simpler. I asked you: Are you aware now? You say yes. And who is aware of this awareness? Don't let your mind come in now and say, 'But this is too abstract, too confusing.' It is very direct. You say, isn't it, 'I am aware.' So who is this 'I' that is aware? Is the one sitting next to you telling you you are aware? No. It is known. But is it a concept? No. This is the unchanging truth of who you are.

You say in sleep state there is nothing. I say, but there is 'I' to know that there is nothing, otherwise are you just making it up? You see, I woke up at 7:00 AM. What changed? What is the change that happened? Is it only that objects appeared, or is there something more fundamental that changed? Many times you say we wake up but we didn't open our eyes, nothing was experienced and certainly no object was sensed. Then how do... what... what is changed between sleep state and waking state? There's the birth of the sense that 'I exist,' 'I am,' you see? So now the state changed. Okay, suppose it's like we're looking at a window and it was dark and suddenly there was light. If you were not there to look at it, would you be able to report this change? No. No. So if there is nothing in sleep and there is a sense 'I am' in waking state, there must be this 'I' which is the primal witness of this change, which exists throughout. So this 'I' which does not sleep or wake up is this awareness, is this knowingness itself. So I am giving you all of these pointers, but don't take any of them as concepts. Use them to check for yourself.