'I Am Awareness But… I Feel More Attracted to Suffering' - 7th August 2017

I am awareness, but I feel more attracted to suffering.

I'm glad she said it, because if I say it, then you take it in the wrong way. What we say is, it is consciousness actually, if it's not done with its individuality, if it's not done with tasting the taste of suffering yet, then it does not want to come into this simplicity. When it becomes a struggle to suffer, you could just act at the root of it. It exists. It's like we buy tickets to a merry-go-round, and every time we get in motion, there's a little bit of a kick. Always conversations. So, am I teaching this right now? Now, Mukti are free. This is ten rupees you give it, that belief in that. Understand the ride will be better with time. I will make something out of this life. It will be meaningful and elegant. Then we go down the slide and again all we end up getting is giddy.

It exists. If we walk to the base of that attempt, like the story of the prodigal son, we can have this. And it is Atma that can give its individuality for meaning. 'I'm going to make it. I'm going to show my Father I can make it on my own.' That way he goes. 'I can make it as a separate individual.' It knows the inevitability of death is going to look more, and yet it says, 'No, if I have a statue in my museum, then I will make my memory immortal. If I have a building named after me, then I will make myself immortal.' The truth is plainly obvious even to the mind, where it makes every attempt to take the attributes of God, the attributes of consciousness, and duplicate it in this move.