God's Holy Presence Lives Within Yourself - 22nd January 2024

But it is not a piece of information that you can just neglect. I'm not giving you a recommendation about a fast-food restaurant. I'm telling you about the very basis of life, and I'm saying that our life is not life till you have met God. And that's all that interests me. So what is your report? So, report. Report can be, 'I haven't found Him,' or your report can be, 'I have found Him but I don't stay with Him because Maya tempts me,' isn't it? Or your report can be, 'I have found Him and I am living in His light.' What is report? Is the fourth, which is, 'I don't really know if I want this. I'm not really looking for God, if I'm really looking for the absolute truth.' Whether you say God or the absolute truth, it is the same thing.

So if you say that, 'I'm not interested,' or 'I don't know if I'm interested,' then you'll get bored in Satsang, and even I can't tell you why you should come. But if you are on a quest for self-discovery, to come to the truth, or something tells you that there is this highest being in this universe or beyond this universe called God and you want to come to Him, then that is what Satsang is for: to come to the company of the truth or to the company of God's presence, which is the same thing.

So what is it that we are looking for? We looked last time when some of you said, or one of you had a mini-tantrum where you said, 'But I didn't bargain for this. I just came for some peace, some absence of suffering, some joy in my life.' But that's like saying that, 'I ordered only idli, why are you serving me the seven-course meal?' I think I came for something small, but you're offering me something which is beyond somethingness: the Absolute reality. So what is it that we really want? You go to Vedanta, the first thing they tell you is that all that comes and goes is not real. All that you perceive comes and goes is not real. Find that which does not come and go. That is reality. The Christians say move from the visible to the invisible. He just talked about the Nirguna without attributes. In Sikhism, everywhere we have been pointed to a greater reality than just this. But 'just this,' Kabir Ji has called it a 'Maha Thagini,' which means the greatest con artist. So we may say sometimes in Vedanta, 'Oh, just this, just this, not real,' but when it pulls you in, she's a great scamster.

Can I clarify when you say Maya, if it is the same mind? Because the world itself is not a problem, and illusion only comes when we look through the mind.

Yeah, that's why I love the analogy. She said Maya is 'Ma-Ya,' which means 'me came.' So she's taken the word Maya and broken that up into 'me came.' Is it? Now you have to notice for yourself: when does the 'me' come? Pure perception of the world is no trouble, but you'll find that most of the evidence that the mind offers for the existence of an individual 'me' is on the basis of something perceived. So it uses that innocent appearance of this light and sound to narrate the story of the 'me'.

So what is the difference between Maya and identity? When identity comes, you are stuck in Maya and you get involved in identity. You see, like, I don't want to say hell because it doesn't really connote hell in the same way, but life in Maya does seem hellish because it is full of suffering. When I'm stuck in identity, I believe in the illusion. And so let's use the—let's use hell provisionally, although we may or may not want to. So don't say Maya, say hell. So when you are stuck in identity, where are you?

I'm in hell.

So what's the difference between identity and hell?

It's just like a state of mind.

Yes. What you do to get there is identity. Identify. Exactly. Okay, okay. Just yeah. See, it's funny because in Spanish you can also make a pun because Maya is 'Ma-Ya' and 'Ay' means 'ouch' in Spanish. Oh, 'Ay.' Yeah, 'Ay' here also is 'ouch.' Really? God now or me? We used to say like that: God now or me out. It sounds the same.

So how to go beyond the realm of just conceptually understanding to the true insight of God? Suppose all of you are with me so far. Then you say, 'But if perceptions are out,' you see, and we talked about the mind enough for you to know that you're saying that conceptual knowledge is also out, then how do we do this? So have you looked inside yourself enough to confirm another mode of knowledge which is beyond perception and it is beyond thinking? Is there something like that? Beyond perception and beyond thinking? Because if there wasn't, then a notion like Aparokshanubhuti, which is actually undefinable like instantaneously in time but without any mechanical effort, would not be possible. Because both in perception and in thinking, we need to apply effort. So what else do we have? Is there anything else? I don't mean to put you on the spot at all, but it's a worthy exploration. Because as long as we feel like perceptions and thinking is all there is, then the discovery of God will seem distant or difficult. But there is a more direct mode of knowledge which is intuitive, which is Atma Gyan.

What is this Atma Gyan? So is it if I studied the Mandukya and maybe I memorize the whole thing and I could repeat it to you? You say, 'Chapter this, verse this.' I say, 'I don't know it at all,' but I suppose I could. Would that—would you call that Atma Gyan? It's a great scripture. It's a very high scripture. So why would you not call it Atma Gyan? Because it's still coming from a conceptual understanding or just from rote learning. So self-knowledge or heart knowledge or intuitive insight or the Satguru within, the Holy Spirit within, has a distinct—we can't even say taste, but it is distinct from just ideas or perceptions.

And the most relatable, when I say that, possibly is when I talk to you about love. Because you know love at a deeper place than just thinking. Then it's truly love and not grasping or wanting. Love is known somewhere else, isn't it? And when we speak of human relationships, the special relationships with our partners, etc., then the topic gets really sticky. But it's more natural when we talk about our parents or our children. And often I have said that with your children—like with my children—I may be upset, I may be frustrated, I may be angry, but if someone were to ask me, 'Do you love your kids?' even if that feeling is being experienced, you see, I still say, 'Of course.' And unless I'm speaking in anger, the one who's listening usually can tell that even behind that anger is love, isn't it? You see? So this love is beyond feelings, because the feeling at that moment could be anger, but you're still reporting on a love which is deeper than that. So where do you know this love? What is the source of this love which is unconditional? You see?

So if you follow the perfume of unconditional love, it leads you to God's presence. Or if you inquire into the true nature of who you are—'Who am I?'—there's a beautiful conversation I shared with some of you about Shiv Ji having this conversation with Hanuman Ji. So Hanuman Ji is praying for the ultimate knowledge and he's praying to Shiva. Shiva appears. Hanuman says, 'Lord, bless me with the highest knowledge.' So Shiva asks him, 'Who are you?' Hanuman says, 'Hanuman.' Shiv Ji says, 'I didn't ask for your name. I asked, who are you?' So then Hanuman says, 'I am this one's, Anjani Putra,' all that lineage he talks about. Then Shiva says, 'I didn't ask for your lineage.' Then he said, 'I am of Vanar.' Shiva said, 'I didn't ask for your species. Who are you?'

And Hanuman Ji, of course, very sweet and open—at least the questioning made him open—so he realized very quickly that he doesn't know who he is. So he says that, 'I don't know who I am, and that is clear to me today that I don't have true knowledge.' It was a very, very important conversation because as long as we think we know, we cannot know. We have to move beyond our thinking, beyond our intellect. So whether we follow the perfume of unconditional love or we follow the path of inquiry and ask ourselves who we are sincerely, we will come to the same discovery. And it doesn't have to be an either/or; it can be both.

But isn't it absurd that in the human condition we spend our whole life—mostly all our, most of our brothers and sisters in this world will spend their entire life not being concerned either with who they really are in reality or the truth of finding God's presence within themselves? Earlier, before I met all of you, if I was to even broach the topic, they would ask me, 'So what is your path? What do you do? You talk about Guruji and Papaji and Bhagavan and say that...'

It doesn't have to be an either/or; it can be both. But isn't it absurd that in the human condition we spend our whole life—mostly all our, most of our brothers and sisters in this world will spend their entire life—not being concerned either with who they really are in reality or the truth of finding God's presence within themselves? Earlier, before I met all of you, if I was to even broach the topic, they would ask me, 'So what is your path? What do you do? You talk about Guru Ji and Papaji and Bhagavan.' And I'd say that Bhagavan taught us the path of self-inquiry: 'Who am I?' So we must ask ourselves who we really are. And the usual reaction was, 'What? What will I get?' And I didn't have a good answer for that, and I probably don't have to, except that: Are you willing to live a lie for the rest of your lives? Just take yourself to be name and form?

Most in India already have a lot of spiritual knowledge. They say Maya is name and form. Is it? Do we go beyond that? It doesn't matter that you know that. What have you used that to look beyond name and form? Then it matters. So most of us, especially in so-called spirituality, are spiritual librarians. But have we met God? Have we met the spirit that we are talking about? You see, and it is Maya that convinces us that there's time for that. In the last few months, I've seen many loved ones leave their bodies, and they all felt everything else you have to do: 'Educate your children, I have to do. Find the right partner, I have to do. Make yourself financially secure, I have to do.' Come to God's presence? How about you reverse it? You come to God, let him do all the rest.

These things I used to hear and they used to sound so simplistic and stupid. 'What is this? Come to God and he will take care of the rest,' you see? But I hadn't explored enough. Who is taking care of every heartbeat, every breath, this whole universe and its billions of things and processes? Which intelligence is driving all of that? How does a bird learn how to fly, that too in the right direction when the season changes? How does it know the season changes? I was going for a walk in the morning; we've been seeing these trees and such beautiful pink flowers. We were just stopping every day looking up. How does it produce that beauty? And today we walked and it was barren. Not a single flower, no leaf, no flowers. Season has changed. Which intelligence is doing all of that?

We call it nature, but what is nature? It's the replacement word for those who find God uncomfortable to reason, devoted to reason. But it's very unreasonable to just use a word and then say, 'I know the answer,' because you don't know the answer; you just know a word, you see. So the fact that in our intellect words can pose as if they are reality, that is the problem. Okay, how do plants create energy for themselves? Yeah, so we know the word photosynthesis, so we must know the answer then because we know the word. But what is that intelligence that does that? How did that happen that light can be taken in this way? Who created all those biochemical processes? Who created the basis of this intelligence to function like this?

A chameleon goes and sits on a red rock; it becomes red. Does it know red? 'Oh, turn to red, turn to red.' Something does it. What is that intelligence? Who put all this in place? Which committee decided the speed of light, gravitational constant? So in our make-believe knowledge of just knowing words, we stop the quest for true knowledge. So how to know God then? Through the path of Bhakti, through the path of devotion, or through the path of Gyan? Inside, truly the quest is to come to him, to his recognition in our heart.

So one question is very alive for everyone today, which is—and I've been asked this also today—which is that: 'What do you think, what do you feel about this Ram temple today?' And the answer is that for those for whom it becomes a way to find him in their hearts, it is the most auspicious event. If it becomes that. And for those who are just adding to their ego, adding to their pride, it is taking them away from his light in their heart. So the answer is not cut and dry, like everything in life. If you come from the external, Ram helps us to come to the internal Ram and the light of Ram's presence in our heart. We see the absolute Ram then.

Beautiful Kabir Ji said: Inside all of us is Ram. How many of us have met that? So if by having a beautiful place at the birthplace of our beloved Ram, it brings us deeper in our Bhakti to him, deeper in our heart to meet him, beautiful. But if it becomes just silly politics and pride, then not so great. Such a simple line: In everyone there is Ram. Isn't it important to meet that one? And the main prerequisite to meet that one is to keep the lane empty for him, because the lane is very narrow. When the 'me' is there, his reality seems hidden, and when he is apparent, there is no 'me.' We have to take this very literally and know that the 'me' that the sage is talking about is not the body.

Because really, although it is popular to say that humanity takes itself to be the body, it is not true. At least those who come to Satsang don't take themselves to be the body. You may believe you do because that gives you like a soft target, but why do you come to Satsang? If you really believe you are the body, then why would you come to Satsang? What is here for the body? It is getting more and more cramped, difficult to find seating. I'm mumbling half the time, can't hear me at the back, the mics don't work most of the time—not most, they work most of the time. What's here for the body? You don't take yourself to be the body, that's why you come.

But who is that one? The body doesn't care about your bank account. The body doesn't care about your manager at work. The body doesn't even care about your life partner, who it is. And most of our concerns are about these things. So who is that one that is concerned about all these things? Who is that one? This is the 'man,' this is the 'me' that the sages are talking about. How to be empty of this 'me'? How to be empty of it so that God can come, or God's reality can become apparent here? The problem is here. What is the factory of 'me'? So he said we have to be empty of this 'me.' So what produces this 'me' right now? Is there a 'me' right now? Right now, right now? Tell me your name right now, right now, right now. Even to tell me your name, you say, 'Give me a moment.' Is it? Because even your name, which you take to be you, is not natural or organic to you. You need time. The truth doesn't need time. The truth is here.

So how do you identify with this 'me'? How does this 'me' seem to be so important that Maya said when this 'me' comes, it is Maya? The sages have said the lane is too narrow for 'me' and God. Who is this 'me' that is competing with God, that seems to take up all the space? Who is it? Where is it?

The concern itself. Money, money, money, money. The 'me.'

How do you mean? Next plan?

So suppose the concern is about money, okay? Then if you take that concern to be true, then only it is so.

If you say, 'What will you, how will you take the concern to be true?' So right now you are not concerned. Okay, now tell me, try to be concerned and tell me. Remember to drop it also after the exercise. At least one sentence is needed.

Sentence from mind, yeah. So sentence comes: 'I'm running out of money in my bank account.'

Then? But by it coming, it's enough? You have to really, have to really grasp it with your belief. These are the inner mechanics which are very important for us to see: that the thought is just a perception. Why do we say it's a perception? Because attention goes to it and we can report that it is perceived, isn't it? So we say, 'This is a thought.' But you may say that 'I took it to be true' or you may say 'I just let it go.' Is it? So that is the power of belief. And when you believe, you identify.

So when the Zen master said, 'Keep your front door and back door open. Thoughts are visitors. Let them come and go. Don't serve them tea,' this is what they were saying. What is the tea that they don't want us to serve? Belief. Identity. Belief. Then what will happen? 'The world will fall apart! How will you run your life?' All these questions I've got. 'Who will take care of my responsibilities?' It sounds too far-fetched. 'I can't do it. My mind is too strong. It does this to me.' All these things we've heard, no, over the years.

But if you really slow everything down and really were to look, you'll see that the whole, the same power that is running this entire universe is also running this life. And we're playing this game of make-believe. This is another name for Maya: a great seeming. So God can run this entire universe with trillions of planets, but my life, my bills, that he can't do? That who has to do? The one I can't even find. I will trust that one to do? Where is it? No idea. But it must be true because everybody believes in 'me.' So if popularity for a notion made it true, then we would just go back to the Dark Ages because everybody believed a lot of nonsense. I'm resisting specific examples because there are some who believe in those even today.

Earth, yeah, something like that, like Flat Earth.

I was trying to resist specific examples. So popularity of a belief doesn't make it true. And then either the sages were deluded that they told us all these things, or the rest of the world is deluded. One has it upside down, no? You have to pick which one has it upside down. You can return to the provisional safety of the world's notions and ideas, or you can take a risk to explore for yourself. That is why nothing I'm saying here today I want you to believe. I just want you to explore for yourself. Use them as fuel for your self-exploration. Because if you create a Satsang belief system out of this, then you're just creating a spiritual ego that is not going to serve you at all, help you at all.

So we've looked at all the big questions, isn't it? What is our purpose? I've already said it's a dead life unless you've found God. That started with: What is our purpose in life? Then: Who am I? What is our reality? Is there God? Can he be found? What mode of knowledge is true knowledge as far as the quest for God is concerned? We've talked about how Gyan and Bhakti are the same things in the absolute sense, and we've talked about what makes us believe in the existence of this 'me.' Yes, please?

So I think I was here on Wednesday where we did the fresh, fresh, kind of stayed in this thoughtless space for, I don't know how long, maybe 60, 90 minutes. And like I was saying, it's—I've not experienced anything like that ever. But no surprise, as I left the room, the slow glide was observable into madness. Um, what was interesting was like there was this observer aspect of it. Yeah, I can see each thought like a bullet or whatever showing up, and that space stayed, and so it was still okay. But after two, three days, it became like machine-gun fire, right? Like there was so much rapidity of thought. And I know you've shared that every thought only comes one at a time, so which is why I'm saying the rapidity was—it just felt like machine-gun fire.

So I stayed in the empty space very naturally without too much effort, but that jazz was full on. Then it seemed overwhelming, like those thoughts are like begging me to come in and buy them and go after them. And so I tried like staying in that space and resisting it, but that resistance also seemed like a lot of work, even though I felt like I was in a space where I could watch them, but it felt like a lot of work. Then I just let go. I'm like, 'I'm not even going to fight it,' and let them just kind of go into a void or something like that was the—yeah, I don't know, have the right words maybe. And then they started like automatically dissolving. Metaphorically, it reminded me of, you know, The Matrix, right? Where Agent Smith initially is one character, but the stronger Neo gets, this guy starts replicating and then there's just like a crazy fest, right? That's exactly how it felt. So yeah, I don't want to go through that machine-gun fire all the time. The contrast also seems much more because you experience that emptiness as you were here, but there was this deep faith while this madness was going on.

And then they started automatically dissolving. Metaphorically, it reminded me of the Matrix, where Agent Smith initially is one character, but the stronger Neo gets, this guy starts replicating and then there's just like a crazy fest. That's exactly how it felt. So, yeah, I don't want to go through that machine gun fire all the time. The contrast also seems much more because you experience that emptiness as you were here, but there was this deep faith while this machine gun fire was going on that it's okay, it's going to be gone. Just hold tight; there is no reason to panic. You don't have to act, you don't have to believe, and it's just going to go.

Yes. If by resist we mean that we are sort of trying to block them or repress them, then obviously that is not—

No, I just didn't know what to do, so it felt like resistance. It's like, okay, I'm holding on, I'm holding on.

How long does the thought last? When we believe it, it still lasts only milliseconds, but it seems to leave a lingering sort of condition. But a thought in itself is just... so many times it gets your attention and belief by repetition. Like he said, the same story will repeat, repeat, repeat. That's why I said: invite the mind to make you suffer with at least some fresh material. How many times will you be troubled by the same story? At least make it do a more difficult job.

He was finding a new story, a fresh story. Yes, one thing is very unusual with the thought process: you always remember the bad thoughts. You never remember the good thoughts or the situations where you enjoyed. So, I don't know why this is attracted to the negative.

If I say to you—one of my first gurus told me this—he said, if I told all of you 'I love you, I love you, I love you' one hundred times, but that one time if I tell you 'I hate you,' that is what you will take to be true. We cling to that which is negative. So after a hundred 'I love yous' and one 'I hate you,' somebody says, 'What does Ananta feel about you?' 'Oh, he hates me.'

The nature of the... you said in the beginning that conceptually you may know, but it is only a word, and yet there is a relief even to know. I mean, something of this nature conceptually. My question is that I may not be doing enough work, I do not know the reason, but there is an agony. There is a sense of separation in spite of knowing that it is not the truth. But I do not know what is holding me back. I really do not know. What you say makes sense. Whenever I am in such company, everything makes sense and there's no doubt and there is no disbelief. But something is holding me back. I do not know, and it makes me suffer. It's agonizing for those who are longing in this way, that they are agonized in this way with the separation, as you said.

I'm completely in your service. I'm completely in your service and happy to answer. If you have a million questions, I will answer them. If you are yearning for this and you write to me in that yearning at 2:00 a.m., I will answer it. I'm here for you for this, to help you in this endeavor. So, you said that when I'm in company like this, it hits home. Somewhere other ways also? I mean, it's not that it's a very temporary phase.

It is there, but maybe I'm looking for that 'aha' moment. I do not know what that would look like. I really do not know.

Is it like that? Like spiritual fireworks? I mean, what would... if something was to happen right now and you would be convinced, then what would that need to be?

For me, it will be the freedom from the mind. That puts a... I mean, I know this also, that the mind is playing this game. It is saying that you do not know. Very good. But this I understand, this I can perceive. And what you say, Maya... somehow with the blessings of, I do not know what, but I understand this and there is a relief also. My life has changed dramatically after understanding it. I've come here after listening to perhaps hundreds of Mooji's videos and Papaji's videos, and I'm very grateful to be here. But that block... I know this is the mind game, but how long will it last? It just makes me suffer like hell, and I cannot tell this to anyone. I have mastered a lot of courage to tell you because I don't have any ace up my sleeve.

Thank you. So very beautiful. Your report actually is full of a lot of maturity, so I'm very happy to hear you. So you say that 'I notice that even this is from the mind.' You notice the workings of the mind; you see all of that. Have you found a resting place in your heart, in God's presence?

Sometimes, yes.

Why does that go away?

Because the mind comes with the double force. Yes, double force, triple force, like he was saying, machine gun. So I'm not able to stay in that.

Coming to Satsang, hearing Guru, hearing Papaji, all the great teachers, you will more and more learn to stay in the true place. Your mind is saying 'I'm not able to,' but from your report, I can see that you are actually. But when it tempts you, are there... do you get tempted in the mind by the same thing? Like, what is the main button it has on the remote control for you?

Sometimes, yes.

What is that? Is it relationships? Is it money? What is it?

Even nothing in particular. Nothing in particular. Like, there was a phase where relationship was an issue, some other like...

If you wanted to just be empty and in your heart right now, the mind could pull you back in with any topic? No, it has to be some special. Everybody has one or two special topics, and that's what I meant: that at least make it, force it to give you some fresh material to suffer from. Say, 'Oh, this I suffered from last week; now give some new thing.' So put that into your observation as to what is the button that is strong for you, and then inquire into that. You inquire into that. So suppose it is—I'm just saying some random things, okay—suppose it is, 'Oh, why doesn't this one love me?' or 'This one doesn't love me.' Then say, 'Who is that one who is not loved? Who is that one?' And how long should we do this inquiry? As long as it doesn't crack you up. Yes, or actually till it cracks you up in laughter. When the thought comes, if it cracks you up into laughter saying, 'What is this comedian saying?' then you can leave that because it has lost its poison. Till then, we must inquire if our temperament is that of inquiry. And having heard so many Satsangs, it must be of inquiry. But even if it is of devotion, then you must surrender it to God. Actually, there's no difference. No, you are devoted to inquire; it is devotion in disguise.

Very exactly.

So just when the mind tempts you or tries to trick you, say, 'Good, I'm going to inquire on this.' That is what I am missing, like that lightness of it. Yes, good. Ah, okay. Who is that? Who is that? And then inquire. It may take a few days; it may take even a few weeks sometimes. But these are deeply held conditions, and your inquiry will help you become free from them. You don't know how long you've been carrying them; it could be lifetimes. So to really inquire into them deeply for a few weeks is very worthwhile. Then your mind will run out of tricks, you see? Tricks. And the inquiry process itself will make you very open and vigilant and will allow you to let them go more and more. But first you have to catch that one or two main topics which it grabs you with, and then just inquire into those.

Thank you, Father. Finding a lot of peace and actually consistent experiencing of presence and awareness. The two thoughts which have the most venom in the mind, I wanted to expose them because they still have power. I can feel the power. One is flatly: 'You're mad. You're mad.'

Yeah, that is... you know, you don't have to inquire, just admit you're all mad. There's nobody in this room who's not mad. Who will spend the evening here otherwise?

Why is it scary? You just... you know, I mean, you believe that you're not. You're somewhere, you know, you're looking at this view as a spirit from all over space and you're not in the body, and at times it just smacks me and says, 'You're insane. You know, you might as well be in an asylum.' I'm just being honest. It's not something that is comfortable for me to share this, but this is what I hear the inner voice telling me. And I'm exposing it because it has the power to scare one. So that's... I'm just laying it out. I'm not saying that I... you know, I'm here and I'm meditating.

You are having spiritual experiences and insights which are showing you that you're beyond this universe. You see, the mind is using that to say, 'How stupid is that? How mad are you? What is happening to you? Regain some sanity.' Or some messages like that which are fearful because probably value was there, given to this notion earlier of being sensible, of being sane, all of these. So Guruji said you have to be a bit mad to be free. Have you seen that video? It's a good one. You have to be a bit mad to be free because otherwise we'll be in what? What is the mind's idea of sanity? Live in the oppression of its limited box of understanding. Just buy into its ideas of who we are. You see, all life is between birth and death. All that you've seen is much, much beyond now. Don't worry.

I think the second thing is, you know, I've recognized that it's impossible to reconcile daily life with the experience because you have to give up believing that the impressions in the world are real and you the experience of them. So since when you shift the seer, then the person shifts to sensations and then the question is, why bother? So it really... I mean, there's no... I can't reconcile. I'm kind of in this place where I can't reconcile the way I used to live, the way I interact with people, priority placed to work, anything really. I can't reconcile any of that with the new insight. And I don't know how to live. I mean, I don't... there's literally... I just don't know how to live, frankly. So I'm exposing it because it's like a totally different phase of life now. I don't know if anybody else feels this strongly, but I do. Like, I can have a conversation with somebody socially or at work, but I can't give it value because if you shift the seer and you've shifted to giving truth value to disbelieving it, then how can you? You can't give... so then everything starts to lose the juice it had. So just again, just exposing this so you can guide us.

Very, very good. Very, very good. Just as a word of caution, ensure that you're not doing any position-building in the intellect itself. So it should not be: 'I took an old position which is false and replaced it with a new position which is spiritual but still false.' Like, all positions are false. So if you allow it to unfold from the Satguru presence within, you see, then allow that one to tell you. But 'I can't relate with this' or 'I can't manage this' or 'I don't know how to do this'... so like, even I don't know really how to live here. But we are all learning how to live here, isn't it? In God's light, in God's presence. So if we know how to live in God's light, then we know how to live. But does that mean that I know how I will respond in every situation, how I will react to things? I don't know. Even I don't know. And that 'I don't know' is very important. The minute we start to 'know' here, we start to hide what's here. Is it? So fully don't know. Fully don't know. Only follow what the Satguru presence, the Holy Spirit, is telling you inside.

So we were talking about how there's certain themes, the storyline has a theme, and that we could kind of be aware of the themes that really get us. It does seem there's a—

I know how I will respond in every situation, how I will react to things. I don't know. Even I don't know. And that 'I don't know' is very important. The minute we start to know here, we start to hide what's here. Is it so? Fully don't know. Fully don't know. Only follow what the Satguru presence, the Holy Spirit, is telling you inside.

So we were talking about how there's certain themes. The storyline has a theme, and that we could kind of be aware of the themes that really get us. It does seem there's a different category that I've been experiencing where it just feels like a bullet. Something really intense, and it kind of leads to a physical sensation. Yeah, it's like a bullet, and then it attaches to something random. It could be anything, but because it's so severe, its truth value is given to the image or the object it attaches to.

Truth value is given to the object or the image. I consider them the same thing, huh? I would consider them the same thing. Is that what you're saying? So like the image is this, yes? How would you give this truth value?

I believe that's a problem. Like how? And I don't know how because it's insane. I will believe it's a problem, and I don't know what the issue is.

This is the image. I want to take it to be a problem. What do I have to do next?

No, I believe it's a problem, and then I manage to create a problem out of it and then start searching for the solution.

Let's go slowly. So this is the image, yeah? Now how would this image be a problem?

It's because of that image, I'm telling you, it's because of that where this bullet of extreme unpleasantness has taken hold of me, and I need to remove that in order to liberate myself.

Okay, so let's go really slowly still. So this image is there and that sensation—let's call it pain, you know—is there. Now how is there a problem?

I need to go on the journey of believing I need to remove—

No, tell me the next step. The immediate next step. Where are we again? Bring 'we' in. This image, you're perceiving it, and we are perceiving this pain. What next?

Okay, my hands will pain now. So what seems to be next from that position is a journey begins.

A journey begins? No. What do you mean by this, 'a journey begins'? Break it down in like mechanical terms.

The 'bad I', the 'me', begins to effort to try to resolve an imaginary problem.

So the 'me' just... what the 'me' is doing what? First it generates the problem. It creates some kind of like this random thing that caused this pain, you know? And then somehow I need to... I create this... it's insanity, like it really doesn't make any sense.

Introduce me to this 'me' which is there before the thought.

No, there's no problem with that one. But there's a belief in the journey—

Too fast. I'm old and slow. Okay, let's slow down. Let's slow down. There's perception of some image. What is it? Okay, first there was a sensation of some deep pain like a bullet, yes? Then some image started showing up in our inner perception, yes? Then between this and the journey, tell me what happens very slowly.

The thought comes: 'I don't want this unpleasant experience.' Yes. Then the thought comes: 'Now I'm going to go on the journey to get rid of this unpleasant experience by manipulating the object.'

Okay, thoughts came. Then I believe the thought. Stop it. But it's so tempting. It's so tempting, irresistible. Like, not tempting—it's not even tempting, it's just tempting multiplied by a thousand. But the beautiful thing is this insanity journey. Just... the Zen master said, 'Let the visitors come and go, don't serve them tea.' But the visitor was irresistible, so you had to serve them tea. Is it like that? The Zen master didn't say, 'Okay, make exceptions for the irresistible ones.' You have to let them go. And this is where I feel praying and giving it to God, inquiry, surrender, faith, humility, you see? Because every thought is an invitation to pride. I don't know if you notice that. So humility, simplicity, innocence. So what you're telling me is there's... this isn't a special case, yeah? It's just a thought. And my only power in every situation is: don't believe, let go.

Yes. Yes, my dear. Thank you. That's very important to hear it like that. Thank you.

Very good. Because everybody, you know, this happens in Satsang also. You're listening to another one and all of you can say, 'He should drop it, he should drop it.' Yeah, but when you listen to your mind, you're like, 'But this one is special.' And yet when you expose it, everybody else is like, 'He should drop it.' Why is it so? When it hits closer to home, then it seems more real, more alive, more true, you see? Many times just after exposing them, you feel like, 'Oh, that was not that strong actually,' you see? Because inside it feels... but once you say it out, 'Okay, was this it? This was bothering me so much?' Who had the... somebody took the mic?

Just resonating with him. You're just using different words. Yeah. In a way, all three reports have been the same, yeah, if you noticed. It was nice to hear that there are other people going through this at some level. So I think that that Zen teacher's 'don't serve them tea'—I wish he added that even if the house is shaking, the house is shaking. Because my perception was I'll be chilling, I'll let them go. No, it's not like that. The whole house is shaking and I still don't serve them tea. It can seem like... because also what probably happened in this case is that when you're sitting here, because of the energy field of the Satsang, it feels much easier. Just like, 'Oh.' And then when you go back home, it feels a bit like... even what Arin shared, right? That... but if that didn't happen, then I'd be all alone sitting here alone. Even what Arin shared about some conversations are losing value, right? And I'm almost in situations where it's like, you know, your lips move but I can't hear what you say, like that Pink Floyd song. It's like lips are moving, I'm there but I'm not there. Is that kind of thing for you?

I... so somebody said something, I just said yes. A moment later I asked, 'What did you just say?' Like, you know, my lips were moving, I was so disengaged that I couldn't remember what the person had said. So that's, you know, there's all this stuff. So it's just as you know, it's not conducive to conventional mode of living, to put it mildly.

You say... and plus, honestly, if somebody came to him... I just said yes. If somebody came to him for some venture capital funding, so now he has a good excuse. 'I said yes, but I didn't mean... I didn't hear what you said.' So I have that plea of insanity. Yeah, I'm going to Satsang too much, I didn't hear your business plan. Hi, I'm insane, let's move on. And the people who are talking to you, it's good. It's good to have a Satsang to laugh at. Then you have to lie and say you care about money when you really don't. When do you have to lie?

Capital... I don't care about money but...

How do you handle it? He had... he exposed that problem actually one day, that he has to go to meetings and pretend he cares about ROI. No, sending business plans. Okay, yeah. Honestly, I say I don't know what's going on. No idea. For all my friends, I have to say, yeah.

Father, I think what's holding me is... what's holding you back, yeah. So the feeling of victim, Father. Victim is like... my intentions are clear, I want to do it, but somehow I'm a victim. Something comes in. So that reminds me of a story when Krishna goes to Duryodhana and says to try to tell him that, bring him to his senses. And he says, 'You don't tell me anything. I know what is wrong, but I can't stop it. I know what is good, but I can't do it. And something forces me which makes me do all these bad things. So you just go away.' Duryodhana told Krishna. Yeah, something... the same questions even Arjun asked, but he asked in a different way. That's why Krishna answers. But this comes again and again saying that 'I am a victim' is gone. I don't know. I want to do it, but something comes in and I just lose myself. The 'me' comes in and also that's there.

So kindly, graceful, because you were half-smiling through that report. It didn't have the same... now doesn't mean you... 'No, Father, it's not that.' But yeah, it keeps on coming. Why? And then when you want to fight it, it's like, let it flow. Why you want to resist it? So both ways, both from here. What is your Atma saying? So when the question is asked like that, what is your Atma saying? Either you can say, 'I haven't met my Atma,' which you can't say, or you can say that it is not saying anything. So then I have to rely on my mind. What is your report? It's mind coming, saying, 'I start relying on the mind.' What is your Atma saying? Just seeing. Wait now. Do nothing. Patience. Courage. The mind is the most resistive when you're covering some true ground in the heart. Then it tries to sell you all stories, stronger notions. All of you reported... some is saying machine gun, some saying bullet. New ones in Satsang will wonder what is happening to these people. Peter, all good? You seem to be a bit concerned about something.

All that... just I don't know. It's just a feeling of being uncomfortable.

And you can stretch your legs a bit, don't mind. In on it, yeah. It's often like this. Yeah, I observe this quite often that if there's some bodily issue, it's just like an open space for the mind to get in. And this again... wait slowly. So bodily issue is there, some pain is there, then the mind is just allowed to say whatever it wants because it has enough circumstantial evidence. It takes it as an evidence for that something is wrong. And something is wrong, and then what is wrong? What could be wrong? Is there anything wrong? Just you see. So I noticed a bit of that, yeah. Right. And what happens when we are like that? We forget we are in Satsang. We flew thousands of miles to get here. All that gets forgotten and we are transported into solving non-existent problems. What is the best way to suffer? Try to solve non-existent problems. Yes. So just fresh, fresh. So either surrender or inquire into them. Then you beat the mind at its own tricks. Or just stay in God's light, in God's presence. And God's presence is not apparent. We are in Maya, and the experience of being in Maya is the experience of suffering, even if it feels initially like pleasure. Is it so? That's the very definition of preya. Preya means short-term pleasure but long-term suffering. Shreya means short-term pain—so it can seem like effort, isn't it? Mind is fighting, we are letting go, letting go, letting go. It can feel like difficult, it can feel like effort. But then as you settle more and more into that, your life is lived from a deeper place, from a higher place, see? So you must, as long as it feels like effort, we must make the effort.

It's not that I didn't notice it, didn't make the effort, but it's like... I make the effort, the concern is going away, and then maybe the effort is not strong enough and it comes back. And it's like a little bit like this all the time.

But it will repeat its tunes, yes. So don't expect that it won't. And there's not some serious thing that I noticed or anything. No serious, just... it can take you away from just pure perception. Is the best part about heart guidance, about your intuitive guidance? It doesn't interrupt pure perception. But if you go with mental egotistical tendencies, then this world starts to blur out. Have you noticed this? That if you're looking at this hand and try to think a thought at the same time, what happened? You're doing it, but what usually happens is that when the thought comes and attention goes on it, then the outer world starts to get blurred. The more caught up here, you see? So we are leading in our lives very insipid, sort of half-and-half lives where half the time our attention is here, half the time it is on this. So we go through life without even tasting this God's beautiful play, game, is it? And neither are we fully in inner focus. We are not antarmukhi, we are not turned.

Right at the same time, what happened? You're doing it, but what usually happens is that when the thought comes and attention goes on it, then the outer world starts to get blurred the more caught up you are here, you see. So we are leading in our lives very insipid sort of half-and-a-half lives, where half the time our attention is here, half the time it is on this. So we go through life without even tasting this. God's beautiful play, game, is it? And neither are we fully in inner focus. We are not turned inwards. So we are just living in this sort of mix, which is quite insipid mostly. Nothing you can think about right now is higher than God's presence in your heart. You could be solving, according to your mind, the biggest problem, but to be in that moment with the presence of the Satguru within, it's incomparable. I have to play the fresh, fresh game every day.

Often it's very powerful. It seems like such a simple exercise, but it's really the tasting of what is being shared in satsang. If you have some satsang to build up your spiritual muscles, the vitamins are being given to you. All the pointers, all the strength is being given to you. And then you have some satsang where you are just so empty, so much light, so much presence. The Atma doesn't seem like just a fancy idea in books. God doesn't seem like some safe notion or feel-good notion. You recognize it within yourself. And the world doesn't dissolve. It happens sometimes that your attention is withdrawn and you go into a sort of samadhi, but it doesn't have to. In fact, you may say that I've never experienced the light of this world before or the sound of this world before.

Are you sure for the room? When you share like that, Father, I notice when you share like that... when you share like that, um, yeah, I lost what I was going to say. Too empty, too fast.

It's good. It's good.

Yeah, I notice that... I noticed the notice that that is saying, 'Get it out now.' Shall I say is there? Yeah, okay. That I need to be careful not to try to travel where you are, but to just remain, because let it not pick up a journey like that. You say you were talking about light, the light and the sound, yes. And it can be very tricky that something tries... so how would you pick up the journey? Something tries to see how he sees. So how would you, just by like memory, you're like, 'Oh yeah, I remember your...' something like that. I don't know.

But remember that the quickest way to whatever I'm pointing to is not through any... yeah, it's not... you're not taking us on a ride.

So I'm sorry for bringing this up again, because I feel like when I was asking the question, maybe I wasn't fully hearing you. And I think there was something very valuable being shared, and maybe more investigation of what happens in that situation. Because it's a force that is so paralyzing, and just hearing you really fresh, I hope I could listen to you. I know it's of value. So this sensation, unpleasant, just comes, yeah? And there's the thought, we said, that 'I don't like this.' Yeah. And also it seems like that there's the perception of the thing that somehow is quickly being associated with the sensation, the unpleasant what I've labeled unpleasant. Like somehow an image has come and there's this connection happening between... how are two images connected? Where? How can they be connected?

What two images are we talking about?

The image that comes and the sensation of the pain. How can they be connected in what way? It just... this is where I think I'm lost to it. It just happens so. I'm sure there's mechanics of it, but it just happens so fast.

And what is the nature of the connection? Can you say they are connected? Like someone going on a journey to solve a problem, that's the nature of the connection between the sensation of pain and an image? The sensation, pure perception sensation, are we talking about?

Yes. No, it's a thought. It's... I see, I see. No, no, no.

So thought we are just categorizing for the moment as thoughts. So there's a thought and then there's an image, is that what you say? Okay, let me... this may seem, sound a bit tedious, but it's very important to break down the mechanics of what brings us to suffering. Okay, you've got to walk me through it. So first is, do you experience like physical pain or what happened?

Yes, like a physical pain, physical intensity. You can call it pain. Just so much energy moving through the body, like a strong... and it gets stuck somewhere. It's like a feeling of stuckness.

So that is experienced in what space? Does this occur in your presence?

Yes.

And how much of that space does it take up?

It seems to take up a lot when believed in, but truly not much at all.

Okay, so we've not come to belief yet. So the sensation, whatever intensity it may be, in the space of your being, would you say it takes up one percent?

I'm sure much less than that, yeah. But from observation, not from knowing the answer. See, it's hard to... if we're going to go based on observation and experience, when that bullet comes, there is no presence. I mean, there is presence, but it's just so... it's like it comes and then I become blind. The whole mechanic happens so fast. All the attention seems to... yeah, attention, belief, image, it just...

No, no, wait. Attention, attention, attention like that. Maybe so suddenly there was like a shooting sensation in my knee. All the attention is there. Attention seems to just go through. It's all there now, mhm. Then what's next? Are you already caught? You're in Maya? You're suffering?

No, not yet. No, then based on the way you're slowly going through it, but it's... see, I'm already at this point, I'm already caught.

So you were at the point where the attention was fully taken with the sensation of that pain. Attention has been fully taken. Then are you already suffering? No, you're experiencing the pain, and pain feels like pain. So we are not undermining the feeling of pain. But what is the difference between how an infant experiences pain versus how a grown-up experiences pain? So we don't say the infant is... we can't really say the infant is suffering because the minute the sensation goes away, they're back to laughing and normal. Pain comes back, they're back to crying.

My son, when he was very young, an infant, he used to get colic at exactly 6:00 p.m. You could basically time your watch on it. I don't know how it functions like that, but so 6:00 he would start yelling, screaming, calling thing, and it would last some ten minutes. After ten minutes, instant it went over, his face would switch immediately. He's back to smiling. Everybody else is wondering what to do, what to give. So pain is inevitable in that way, but it is said that suffering is optional. So how do we make suffering out of pain? 'It should not come. Why does this keep happening to me? When will it go away? I don't want this. I don't want this,' basically. So that is resistance. What's another name for resistance? Suffering, ego. You see, ego is another name for resistance in just what is. No ego, no suffering, no me.

Now, I've gone through this exploration many times with you and it's the same. However, and of course the only... again it comes down to, it just seems to... the hypnosis happens so fast. And like some... let me just put it into perspective, but something like this happened prior to satsang and I'm still thinking about what I need to go do to fix it, yeah. Even though I know the whole thing is ridiculous, but it's just... it hurts the body and it takes up space, you know? And so much of my life has gone to this.

The emergence of a thought is not thinking. It's what you do with it, which is thinking. So don't try to make the thought go away. Make yourself an open space in which it comes and goes. Otherwise, you see the vicious circle there. The thought comes, your spiritual mind says, 'Oh, this thought should not come because the thought gives me suffering,' you see. So that is also a thought. So that is belief and say, 'Okay, you're thinking more and more because we know so much spirituality.' So then we get deeper and deeper, and that is why spirituality, conceptual spirituality, can increase our suffering, not reduce it.

So when attention turns into belief, or a thought comes and belief is there, it gets so... so let's do it. It gets so lodged. Let's do it in the body. Let's do it. Let the thought come, give it all your attention, but don't believe it. Let it go. And the thought that comes which you have to believe, then you expose that. Let's find out if you're really hostage in this situation, or are you really Consciousness, an aspect of Consciousness who is completely free? Are you in hostage to the mind? Because if that was the case, that the mind could come and it could compel identification, it could compel belief, then I should shut up. There's no point of satsang, because when God has to come and you eradicate your mind, then He'll do it. There's no point talking about identity, belief. But I have seen that we are not hostage, as tempting as it may seem sometimes to believe that we are.

As it find out the two topics which your mind uses to just make use of her. So now he's dwelling on the topic of which topics get him, so that has become the topic in finding these topics. Like, and so it's not very evident what the topic is sometimes. Some images come and attention goes to it, yeah. Some other thing comes, some memory comes, yeah. So what happens if attention goes? This belief thing I'm not able to spot, but I'm able to spot my attention going to something. But you have seen that it is impossible to believe a perception, isn't it? Just an image. I try to believe this, yeah, yeah, yeah. So when we say that we are suffering because of the perception of something, because something appeared either seemingly within the body or in our life, is it really that? That seems to be the focus of today's satsang.

My problem isn't even suffering. It's like when I try to do a practice unceasingly and I notice something I'm not able to do, and then I see what my attention is going to instead.

Like what? Praying you're not able to do, or chanting?

Let's say praying. And I... anybody who's able to do chanting, I am not, because to the way you are saying it means 100%. Nobody can do it 100%. The greatest sages would not be able to do it 100%, because to let go of the mind 100% is not possible in the human condition. So when you say, 'I'm not able to do it,' after like how many... suppose it is Ram, after how many Rams chanting? I have not just Ram, like maybe some prayer, the doing it over and over, then I notice it's all...

After how many? I don't count. Roughly, like immediately you start, right, and gone? Or I haven't noticed like how much time, how many? It varies. You're using the mala, huh? Then where are you in the mala? That also somewhere I'm there, but I don't know which one exactly. It's not number, but approximately one-fourth, half? It changes. Changes. Well, you mean like when I start and from the first time I get caught up? Yeah, because I want to know whether you mean that when you're trying to pray, the prayer starts and using the mala to become like an anchor, then... then how much through the mala are you before you realize that you're just lost in the mind?

I haven't noticed, but I noticed that it's... I'm not... my attention isn't on the...

So will you try tonight and tell me tomorrow? Because that is critical. Because one aspect, we could just be beating ourselves up for no reason, and second is that it's really something which is not working for you, the practice of chanting. So we'll figure out.

Even beating up, Father, is just that like when you said in that message, you know, that it exposes what it becomes evident to you, like what you're still believing, and so that's getting exposed, huh? So then you must keep trying. My question is just in noticing where your attention is going, like some visuals or some memories. It's not very evident what the topic is, but I take a leap and generalize, you know, like in all of these, why is it happening? It's because something... and is that also the wrong instrument?

Like yes, that's also wrong. It's not here. See, even there, I like... so this one pointer you gave, no: who are you serving in this?

What you're still believing, and so that's getting exposed, huh? So then you must keep trying. My question is, just in noticing where your attention is going—like some visuals or some memories—it's not very evident what the topic is, but I take a leap and generalize, you know? Like, in all of these, why is it happening? It's because of something. And is that also the wrong instrument?

Yes, that's also wrong. It's not here. See, even there, I like this one pointer you gave: 'Who are you serving in this moment, the mind or the heart?' And I ask myself that. And if the heart lights up, is that the answer? If I feel something in my heart region, is that the answer to that question?

No. I have given you the tools: the presence of unconditional love, the palpability of the Atma, the presence within, or the highest tool is the recognition of the absolute Nirguna reality. Because this last one is purely intuitive, purely in the Satguru's light. So, that which is purely intuitive—and when we are being that intuitive that our Nirguna reality is apparent to us—it is not possible in the human condition to juggle that with mental conceptualizing at the same time. So, if you stay with that, then you cannot be tricked, and then you don't have to ask. Or if you are in the world, then your function—something is functioning—then just use the tool of your pure perception not being interrupted. Because when you go to the mind, your pure perception is interrupted. You forget even this realm.

There also, what happens? I tried that and I just say, like, many times Mira has told me that there also it's still the mind. Like, unconditional love, the presence... and I don't want to put her on the spot, but—no, I'm just kidding—but I trust her to share. So what is happening? I think it's something that comes from the heart and I have to follow. Because you noticed unconditional love sometimes, and sometimes it's presence. I've noticed that I have the insight and I say some words, some words come up, I say it, and still the insight is still there, and still that is the mind.

Okay, so you have to trust that if your intention is to follow God's will, is it? And not just to do it right. Because if the idea is just to do it right, then you'll be tricked by the mind. You must do it because it is what the sages have told us. So we must live in God's will, and we cannot follow God's will till we hear His will, till we find His will. But so, what is the intention behind following?

But once she points out it's not God's will, then I can't do that again. If I have that intent, I have to try some more sure-shot way.

Yes. So what has been canceled out? Unconditional love and presence? Okay, so stay with the absolute then.

I'll try. It's too... okay, I'll try. I haven't tried here. I tried coming up with some... I don't know, it came up to me once that this could be a way. When I can't find the 'me', then it's heart guidance. Is that...?

Why not the absolute? I'll try, because that is the most fail-proof, fool-proof. If the absolute is apparent to us, you can't be intuitive and mental at the same time. That'll be too much of a juggler's act to put on. See, the purely non-phenomenal you can only meet intuitively, isn't it? Pure Nirguna. You may try whatever science, whatever perception, whatever thinking—you cannot meet it. Not here.

So, quickly skimming over everything that we've gone through: the objective experience of this or appearance of this world, when mixed with the notion of 'me', leads to Maya. The pure perception of the world itself is harmless. In the pure perception of this world, the presence of God is there because you're not full of the 'me'. So, if Maya means 'me-a'—if Maya activates when the 'me' comes—then to be empty of this 'me', if that is His will and His grace, in that emptiness His presence will start to become more and more apparent to us. This is the coming to Atma, Atma Darshan.

God's holy presence lives within yourself. I'm stating this to you as a fact and as a provocation because nothing else matters, especially if you consider yourself spiritual, if you've not come to your Atma. Because this is spirit, and there is no spirituality without spirit. So we must come to the presence of the Atma within. Is this Atma phenomenal or non-phenomenal? It is both, you see, because it is not objective. Otherwise, we could pass it around like objects, you see. We could do like a kidney transplant; we could do an Atma transplant if it was purely objective. You could do that, you see.

If it was purely non-phenomenal, then it would seem as out of reach as the absolute reality does for most of humanity. For most of our brothers and sisters, the Nirguna—the pure Nirguna reality—seems too far-fetched, just a notional idea. To many, that seems impossible and a rarity. So I like to say, although we can never rationalize that, God in His grace, God in His mercy, gave us the possibility of meeting His holy presence in the form of a primordial vibration. And why do we call it primordial? Because it is on the cusp of phenomena and non-phenomena. So we can never find its true nature like that. We don't have the words to express its true nature.

But because we have come to that which is astounding—because our mind cannot fathom the existence of this which is not really objective—the mind is for name and form, you see. So we come to something which is beyond its idea of what the universe is, and we come to it like an actual discovery which is undeniable. Then, in the light of that—that is why it is called the Satguru presence, because in the light of the Guru can you come to the truth. The Guru is what? The bringer of light, you see. What kind of light? It is not this kind of light. In the light of the Guru, you can recognize the unperceivable. That is why it is a unique light. We recognize the Nirguna in the light of this presence of Atma, the presence of the Satguru within.

So whether we call it Atma, Satguru, Holy Spirit, beingness, I-am-ness, we can use any of these words, but it is a holy presence which is unexplainable. And actually, it is ineffable also; you can't really talk about it. So we come to that. Then, as we rest in that, then we realize at some point that in my reality, I am aware even of this. I am witnessing even this primordial vibration. This is the 'I'. It is playing as 'I am' is 'am-ing' now, but it itself is beyond 'am' and 'not am', being and not being. That recognition of yourself as this absolute reality, 'I', is to come to the recognition that 'I am That'.

What is the prerequisite for this? Like we say, it is grace, but we also say there is a prerequisite. And to the mind, it can sound like it's contradictory, you see. So live with that mental contradiction. So what is the prerequisite? It is to be empty of the 'me'. Because Rahim Ji or Kabir Ji—it's attributed to both the sages—they said that the lane is too narrow, the gali is too sakri, the lane is too narrow. If there is 'me', there cannot be God. If there is God, there cannot be 'me'. So to come to God's presence, we must let go of this ego, of this aham, this 'me'. How do we buy into the aham? Only through the stories of the mind. Empty of that, in pure perception, there is no problem.

But because we can't just—like you've heard this—'be open and empty', mostly it doesn't happen. For some it may happen, a rare one, you see. Therefore, then it is helpful to have the practice of self-inquiry or prayer, chanting, whatever tools and pointers the sages have given us to keep us anchored in the presence, to keep us anchored in the love for God. And that is the fulfillment of the only purpose we can give some credence to in the human condition, which is to come to the realization of God. So if you do it for God and not for 'me', then you will find that your practice, your sadhana, your deepening of spirituality is now stronger, it's deeper, it's on steroids in a way. But if it becomes about 'me, me, me—am I getting? Am I getting? Am I getting this? I'm getting...' then you're like, often I say, you're taking the poison then searching for the antidote. Taking the poison, searching for the antidote. That is not going to happen. Good, good for today, my loves. Have your...