God Is Right Here, in Your Heart - 12th February 2024

Okay, so let's really dive into this. Because this one, this foolish one, is also a repository of a lot of useless facts, talk about various subjects or various facts. But the sense I'm getting in all of this is because you're taking a very strong position against believing the mind, then the mind comes and says, 'Hey, but what about rabies? Don't you need to know about it?' You see? And if you don't know about it, what about your nephew or your niece? Taking a very strong position against the mind, yeah, which is itself in the mind. Yes. So it's saying, 'I will not...' Of course, maybe this is... otherwise, how would it—why would it tempt you with this useless way? See, rabies you have to know, so you have to believe this thought. And what is fighting that? 'But I can't believe that' is the mind who has heard the words of satsang, who is then oppressing you as the checker guy within yourselves.

Genuinely, when you say that, you say it's a... I would say there is a very strong resistance. And the resistance isn't to 'I shouldn't follow the thought'—of course, maybe I should check on that—but it's just this raw 'I don't want this.' You too. I would label it as the hellfire of physiological suffering.

Yes. So where do you know all this? It's all labeled. Even this 'hellfire physiological or psychological suffering.' Where do you know all this? I saw labels in the heart, just in the head. Leave that compartment. But it feels so real, the whole thing. If Maya did not feel real, then we could all leave it. It is designed by the most intricate game designer ever. The events, every frame is meant to pull us in, but can pull us in only with the support of the narrative. Yes. That's why many movies start like that; they give you a narrative.

My son is here, so he's playing some games on my computer. So if the game just started—and often I take this example—game just started, the character's there, then it can walk around left, right. Within two minutes you'll shut the game; you have no idea what's going on. So you need the narrative. You need the mission objective. It says, 'Ah, this is what you need to do. You need to go to the enemy dungeon, rescue this prisoner.' What happened? You start relating with the character which is appearing on the screen, isn't it? Without that relatability, any movie, any game is pointless. Same with this Maya.

So you're just perceiving this, you see? And this includes what we call inside our body, but that is also outside. You're still perceiving all of that. You're perceiving all of this. Then what's your next move? You're watching everything now. Can you tell me what this is? Anyone tell me what this is?

Your perception?

No, this. Oh, what is this? Tell me what this is. This moment. This right now. This. What is this? Sounds absurd, isn't it? Because what are you asking? What are you asking? I'm asking what is happening to you. Am I asking how many people are in this room? Am I asking whether this is satsang? What am I asking? I'm asking you to determine the nature of this moment. What is this right now? Can't do it. Nobody can do it, see? And yet we have determined our entire life. We have full narrative. This moment, do we know what this is? What is happening here? Can we capture in 10,000 words if I was to give you everything that is here in this moment, just phenomenally? No. You still miss out the light, the sound, the breeze, somebody's coughing, somebody's laughing, somebody's falling asleep. So it's all that.

So one moment of our what we are perceiving, we can't really determine. But the mind offers us these kindergarten stories: 'This one doesn't like you,' 'He likes you,' 'I want something from this one,' 'I need this to happen in my life.' All these stories, and we've reduced this magnificent play to a very simple, primitive narrative. Now the mind will tell you that, 'But without that, you can never determine what this is. At least I'm offering you something, otherwise you'll just be dumb and stupid. You'll never know what is going on. How will you run your life?' But that is not true, because you have another source of insight which is beyond perception and thinking. That is the Atma within, the Holy Spirit within, the Satguru presence within.

And I tell you that everything that is valuable, everything that is useful, is known only through that, not through this. Love, truth, justice, kindness, compassion, music, the nature of being, the nature of reality, the infinite, the beyond infinite, the being and the not-being—where do you know all this? Cannot be known in your head. In your head you can just have a dictionary of concepts. So leave that whole playground. And don't dance in the playground like the kid on the side saying, 'I want to leave this playground,' you see? That's what some of you are doing because you can't leave your intellect, so you just fill your intellect with wanting to leave the intellect, you see? It is not that. That is not the process.

And it is not just an introduction to a whole new way of life; it is an introduction to that which is your true reality, which is beyond this appearance of this life or dream, whatever you call it. But that needs you to take a risk, because you relied so much on this. 'Can I really leave that? Can I not?' We weigh and choose. 'What about my spirituality which is here? All that I've read and learned in satsang also, all that is here. Are you saying I should leave all of that? What about the things that you itself have told me? You yourself have told me. Should I leave all of that?' Yes, please. Please leave everything. Because that which is truly useful to you is there somewhere else. But unless you leave the false, unless you leave avidya, true jnana cannot come. True reality, self-recognition, Atma Darshan cannot come.

And our problem is we attempt to frame it into the context or the subtext of our life. But the truth is too big. So what the mind will do is, 'Ah, I became empty. I went to my heart and then this is what happened to me,' see? So again, part of the narrative. So don't dip into your heart and then... is the pen you... and when I was younger, then we would sometimes use these ink pens, fountain pens. So you would dip into the ink and then you would write. So don't do that. You live in the ink bottle. Many times I notice you kids do that. You go to your heart, a true insight comes—I'm not doubting that—but you're quick to translate that into your head, say, 'This is what it means, therefore now I should live like this. This is what has happened. I had that experience.' So it becomes very quickly translated here. Stay there. Don't rush.

Not really very energetic. It's as good as being in silence. Yes. Silence is not very superior, like 'I'm silent.' Yes, exactly. There's nothing to feel super clear about any aspect of spirituality. And please don't misunderstand what I'm saying to mean that I'm saying this because it gives us peace or it gives us joy. It may give us those things, but I'm not so interested in giving anyone or leading anyone to peace or joy. I'm telling you that empty of your head, in your heart is where He lives. He lives there. His presence is the Atma itself. As a byproduct of being in His presence, we may experience joy, peace, love. But if you make it about those things, then again you will make it about yourself and not Him. And this is the trouble with a lot of so-called spirituality today.

I've been thinking that, you know, in the mind, the thoughts—every thought seems to actually have an opposite. Every single thought. And even if I am not thinking that opposite at that moment, it is there somewhere and it comes later or it comes in another. And therefore there is... there is deep duality in the thinking. And then I've been thinking this line keeps coming like a mantra kind of, 'Bless me with the pure light of Atma.' And then I was thinking that maybe the 'pure' word used there is because in that one place there is really no duality. And even the word 'joy' then has the opposite, and 'peace' has unrest. And in striving for any of these, it then takes one away from that purity.

And that's... so what is it that we can safely strive towards? See, because you're right. If you strive for peace, then it's bound to lead to suffering somewhere. If you strive for joy, it's bound to lead to the opposites of joy. Whatever we strive for conceptually, it also has the opposite in it. Often similarly we can also say today's conclusions are tomorrow's confusions, you see? So if you just understand things coming in, then tomorrow there will be our confusions about 'What does this mean? Why does he say like that? I don't agree with that. I feel like this.' So it's just in the head again, see?

So what can we safely strive for without worrying about getting caught in the duality of Maya? It has to be for the true version of His presence, the true living in the heart temple. And of course, if you take that conceptually again, it can have an opposite. But to live like that... so that love, when it's unconditional, really is not the opposite of fear or hate. It is beyond these things. That peace, that joy, is not dependent on the feeling of peace or joy; it is independent of that. Otherwise we become slave to our feelings. What's the big deal, you see? If all our benchmarking will be based on what feeling is arising after coming to satsang, then it is like, 'Oh, if the feeling is anger or frustration, then oh no, no, it's not working for me.' But what is beyond feeling? So if you make it about God, and if God still for some of you is something which you're not reconciled...

Beyond these things, that peace, that joy is not dependent on the feeling of peace or joy. It is independent of that. Otherwise, we become slave to our feelings. What's the big deal, you see? If all our benchmarking will be based on what feeling is arising after coming to satsang, then it is like, 'Oh, if the feeling is anger or frustration, then oh no, no, it's not working for me.' But what is beyond feeling? So, if you make it about God—and if God still, for some of you, is something which you're not reconciled with because of some conditioning—then make it about Truth. At least that, most of you cannot argue with. You know, say, 'Oh no, I want to make my life about lies.' It's a rare one. So God, which is the same as Truth (capital T), not what you understood now, is whether you snap out of the Maya. Whose presence is here? That which you call 'I am' is whose presence? Your being is whose being? Take these questions literally and not philosophically or poetically or metaphorically.

You say, 'I woke up.' Who is that 'I' that woke up? Where did it come from? What are his boundaries? Who is that? Even feelings would be... yes, everything perceived is Maya. And that is why Atma is the—I was going to call it escape route, but much more than that—but in this context, the escape route because everything that is perceived is Maya. What about your Atma? Your being, your presence—is it perceived or is it unperceived? Both, both, or neither? We can't really say, isn't it? But intuitively it is recognized. So, is there anything else which we can say all this for? How to escape this realm of personification? Most of our brothers and sisters believe that everything that we perceive is only what there is. But your presence, is it in Maya or not? Your being, is it in Maya? You perceive it, don't perceive it, haven't found it, found it without perceiving it? Then how do you know you found it?

Because in the world, there is no vocabulary for this. To find something in the world is to perceive it. Did you find the white clothes? How you know? You perceived it. And if you did not perceive it, if somebody makes a claim that 'I found it,' you call that one a liar. Do you perceive Atma? Don't perceive it? Or do you? Yes, you do? Then it's an object. Everything that you perceive is unreal, comes and goes. Either way, trouble. So what is the way out of it? Something that is both, neither, either. So nobody can deny—or maybe we can, but we should dig deeper—that when we ask the question, 'Can I stop being?' and we try to stop being, there's a recognition of a beingness, a presence of beingness which we recognize. We can't place exactly where it is recognized, but we may say somewhere deep inside myself. Yes or no? Is it so?

But if I say, 'Okay, what is its shape?' It has no shape. 'What is its color?' It seems like a lightless light. What is lightless light? Because it's like a shining light, but it's not a shining light like this. And if you're imagining some shining light like this, stop imagining. Because it's a recognition which is 99.9% intuitive and 0.1% perceivable—the subtlest, most primordial vibration. So you may say, 'I feel it in my heart. The presence is palpable here. He's here.' And then I say, 'Okay, what is his boundary, its boundary?' You say, 'It's boundless.' How can something be here and boundless? Because it is both. So the instrument with which you recognize this 'both,' stay with that instrument. Just don't leave that, okay? So don't say, 'What did I understand out of this?' I don't care what you understood out of it. You see, the point is for you to stay there where He lives.

In that room at the back, Krishna lived there, Ram lived there, Jesus lived there, Allah lived there, Nanak Ji lived there. And it is undisputed then the whole world would line up to go and stay in that room even for a second. I am introducing you to the room that is always with you. And how much I have to force you every day to live there? Why? Because the visible seems real and the invisible, the intuitive, seems unreal—which is actually the reverse.

This is kind of from the mind, I know, a little. Just okay... so when you ask the question, 'Where does it felt?' if someone was to answer, 'It's felt in the heart,' in a sense that's not there. If it's felt in the heart, we're still referring—I would be referring to some this place, not this one, this place, this exact place.

Leave it right now. Okay, okay, leave it. You don't have to categorize. You don't have to get it precisely right. You don't have to determine it is like that, it cannot be like that. Just leave now. Because this, we feel like helps us to zero in on it, to really grasp it. But even this grasping is only suffering. Like Buddha said, 'Grasping is suffering,' including this. So somebody says it's their heart, another one says it's their nose. How does it matter? You leave it. You don't have to get it right. Get it all wrong, but you live there with Him.

So many times, so many... don't determine it, don't determine it. It's like an addiction. It is an addiction, but this is okay. So many times I've spotted Him, or it, in the heart. But... but yeah, that 'but'...

Everything after that's not true. It's not really... imagine the immensity of what you just said. 'So many times I have spotted Him.' What are you saying? How can you make that report? Where is the room for 'but' after that? You have spotted Him. You spotted Him. You're bought by Him. You spot Him and then not be bought? But Maya, of course. That is why so many of us can have spiritual experiences, but they don't seem to last because Maya tries even more. Maybe, 'Ah, this one is going in some relationship trouble,' as a favorite card. Maybe of Maya starting to God's presence. 'Oh, see what your partner is saying. See what your mom is saying. See what your child is... relationship.' And suppose that doesn't work, which is rare, but that doesn't work, then, 'You're running out of money. How will you live? You're losing, you're leaving your responsibilities. Oh, you're useless, good for nothing.'

Suppose you leave that. 'No, your body is becoming old. You're getting arthritis, you're getting this, you're getting that. Focus on that. God can wait.' Suppose you leave even that. Then, 'Okay, I want only God, so I'm going to understand the nature of all of this. This is Maya. Is it Maya or is it really Jagat? Is it an illusion or is it reality? Why would God be so unkind to push us into an unreality, illusion? No, it must be His beautiful creation where we can taste love. So let's spend the rest of our life just thinking about all these things and coming, drawing conclusions.' Does that sound like spirituality for most? You see, what is the fourth trick? The search for true meaning. And it is just here.

So somewhere through some Grace, or through some Grace in the form of suffering usually, then we find an escape hatch in all this trickery. I don't care what is the meaning of all of this. I don't... I'm not bothered about what is happening. I want the Truth more than anything else. And I'm saying like that doesn't mean we become nihilistic about the world, you see? But our number one priority becomes God and Truth. But if we keep using the same instrument for God and Truth that we used in our worldly lives, then it is trying to reduce God to our image. It is said God made man in His image, but in the usage of just perception and conceptual understanding and intellectual understanding, we actually reduce God to an entity that we can understand or fathom. But He is the great unfathomable one.

So, are all these ones who are sitting in the room more real than the one who is sitting in your heart? Is your hand more real than the one who is sitting in your heart? I said in one satsang, the day you don't take your hand to be as real as God, that day you are free. And you don't have to convince yourself. It's not a matter of conviction. It's a matter of faith. Faith is intuitive trust. Your heart is faith. Conviction is still the functioning of the mind, intellect. And what is the mind saying? It is saying all of this, but what about me? But what about my life? But what about that problem that I'm having? But should I stay here or should I stay there? See the difference in the levels? That is level confusion. Yes, risk it. Risk it. Don't know. All this knowing has not got us anywhere.

If you look at the best things that happened to us in life, you say, 'I just happened to be there at the right place at the right time.' Just happened to be there. You didn't know. You were not right. Sleep. Stop troubling yourself. When I say leave it, it may sound like a big sacrifice. Actually, it is leaving trouble. It's no sacrifice. Quoting Elton John, no sacrifice at all. Don't try to mix up the two. Don't go to your heart and then as a scuba diver, dive out with the treasure saying, 'See what I found!' Once it's back on the surface, it's like a rock like everything else. I wonder if you all can notice this. I noticed this sometimes. Maybe it's a rush, maybe it's an excitement. Is it something that makes us leave the true insight where it's true diamond, the true treasure in your heart? But we want to rush and understand it. You want to rush and make a conclusion out of it. And in that rushing, it just becomes mud.

As in that, the trick is the mind gives you one story every day. 'Today we will think about this. Why am I like this? Or why is the world like this?' or something. 'Today we will solve this problem. Today we will fix our relationship. Today we will fix our money. Today something.' Every day. And we say, 'Yes, yes, yes,' because there are so many years left to find God. Okay, one day. Tomorrow, tomorrow, and tomorrow. And soon is the end. That's why I keep saying that this game is about time. It's really about time. Every day goes like this in a Godless way, then we say we want to lead a Godly life.

Like a child. No, told the child God lives in that room and it's open, entry is free, He's waiting. The child says, 'Oh, I haven't brushed my teeth yet.' Okay, go brush your teeth. 'Yes, yes, yes, but then do you feel like I should meet God without a shower?' Have a shower. 'Okay, but I want to spend a few hours with God, so do you feel like I should have a bite to eat first so that I don't feel hungry and distracted? I want to be fully with Him.' You see? And I'm there because intentions are all good. 'So let me just grab a bite to eat, I'll be right back.' Then go for a bite, like we meet... our soulmate has arrived at the breakfast place. You feel that. 'But I can't meet God and be still full of desire and lust and all of that, so let me be done with all of that stuff.' See? 'Let me be done with that stuff. It's just... I know it's temporary, it's my things, but you know, I want to be with God fully, so let me...'

And then... so this is of course a variation of the Narada story. So then you forgot God is there waiting because now you're building a life and you found the perfect story. You know, you want to build on that story, you want to do all of this stuff, and years or lifetimes have gone. God is still waiting in the room. Then reminders come. Maybe you saw the cover of a book, maybe you read a quote on Instagram, maybe you saw a television program, maybe you met somebody who says, 'What about God for you in your life?' 'Yeah, I want to be with God somewhere, I just want to finish my responsibility.' It seems like a distant notion. So like this, Maya works. Repeat this story over and over again.

But God is right here in your heart. So don't brush your teeth, don't have a shower, don't have breakfast. Meet God now, right? He is the only one there is. There is no other being which has a presence. His presence is all there is. His beingness is all there is. He's the only being. He's the one being. Your Atma is only His presence. Whether the recognition of the Atma comes with full fireworks and awakening experiences and laughter and crying and all of that, or comes in the most sober way, 'Ah, this is it. Yes, this is it.' So it's like saying the previous one entered the room and it sounded like the headache exploded. We want that. Then the next one went in the room and they were like, 'Ah, Bhagavan,' very sober and proper. And the next one entered the room and they just couldn't stop laughing, laughing, laughing. So then what is the prerequisite? What is the right way to enter the room? Nothing. Enter the room. That's important. Otherwise, the story is about whom? Is it about the one in the room?

This is it. Yes, this is it. So it's like saying the previous one entered the room and it sounded like the headache exploded. We want that. Then the next one went in the room and they were like, 'Ah, very sober and proper.' And the next one entered the room and they just couldn't stop laughing, laughing, laughing. So then what is the prerequisite? What is the right way to enter the room? Nothing. Just enter the room. That's important. Otherwise, the story is about whom? Is it about the one in the room? 'What happened to me? What happened to me?' So then we twisted the whole narrative and made it again about me. When will we be done with our final doubt? The final... but then we'll be done with all. It doesn't get over if you keep feeding it. What do we want to make out of this bundle of old food? All old food that we've eaten. Anything more to this? What do you want to be? A happy bundle of old food? A bundle of old food with a nice aura, a halo? What do you want? Isn't it time we see through all of this and meet a greater reality?

You know, if you talk to physicists today, what they tell you is that this body is apparently made up of all these subatomic particles: protons, gluons—I don't know what they call them, P probably knows. So it's made up of all this stuff. And what is going to happen to each of those particles is determined by the laws of physics. Where every particle is going to move is determined by the laws of physics, and plus some completely random probabilistic thing, quantum probability. Every particle. So suppose there are trillion particles like that in one body; it's all determined by the laws of physics and the random probabilistic quantum theory. It has nothing to do with what you take yourself to be. The hand going like this and going like that, mouth moving like this, mouth moving like that—according to physicists, all following, every particle is following the rules of physics. And they tell you that none of this perceived reality... sometimes you listen to them and it's like being in Advaita Vedanta satsang. This universe, this perceived universe, is not here. But in spite of all of this—and I may keep giving you more and more reasoning—ultimately, to leave your mind then to come to the truth will feel like risk. It will feel like a risk. And if it's not feeling risky at all, then I'm not getting through to you. You just feel like, 'Yeah, but I'm chill. He's telling me to just chill.' What is the risk?

Can you drop everything that you're right about when you wake up in the morning and let God decide? Let God move you or guide you right now. What you speak, what you do—can you allow God instead of determining it for yourself, instead of your mind? Who grows every plant, every sapling? Who makes all these beautiful flowers and fruits? Does a committee of plants decide every year, 'This year we will have guava which is 200 grams each'? That is a standardized weight. How do we know how much weight that branch will carry? How does the bird know where to fly to find food, where to migrate to when the season changes? Who gave the bird the compass? So humanity has created this arrogant bubble around itself, thinking that it has become really intelligent, really smart by using our mind and intellect. But actually, we've lost the most natural intelligence.

Imagine two fishes. They meet each other after some time and they're talking to each other saying, 'I don't know why you plan to send your kids to school. Keep them, educate them in India, or you want to send them abroad? What are you going to do?' The fishes are debating. The birds are talking to each other saying, 'I'm not liking my job so much. Should I apply to... can you send my profile to your manager and see if he has openings?' Some million websites to find the right relationships. 'Which website did you go to?' You create non-existent problems and then we create ludicrous solutions, and that for us is evolution, growth, intelligence. What's the quickest and best way to suffer? Try to solve non-existent problems. Why don't fishes need classes? They must be taking Maya to be real. So how are we going to help them? Are we so selfish we'll help only humanity?

In pure perception, there is no trouble. There is no Maya. That's why often I say: don't talk to your plants, listen to them better. They will tell you the way to live. If you meet a plant who's worried about, 'Oh, is it time for me to flower? Is it time?' Every morning the plant wakes up and says, 'Is it time yet? Why is it taking so long? Why is this rosebud so small? It should be a full flower by now.' What is that intelligence that is running that life? And how come we decided it can't run our life? So what? So one capacity we do have, it makes us maybe better than birds and animals and plants. What is that capacity? We have the capacity to delude ourselves, and then we can find a way out of that delusion and come to freedom. And everyone knows that to be first deluded and then come to freedom feels much better than to not have been deluded at all. That's the only point I can find for humanity. That's what I'm saying, that they are naturally that way, but we can fool ourselves with our mind. They can't. Hopefully, we always value human life. And do you see any distinction? I just said what I find, the value that we could appreciate. You can be the prodigal son and come back home, whereas the plants are already home, already home. They can't leave home.

The rest is... it's not very palatable. That's actually more palatable, feels more palatable. So if that is the only good thing about human life, let's do that only good thing. Because otherwise, then we are the worst of... anyone heard of plant suffering? Only if you've been talking to them. Somebody says, 'I talk to my plant every day. It really understands me now. It moves based on what I say.' And I'm like, this poor plant. It's not enough to trouble yourself, now the plants also. So the return to the innocence, return to the naturalness, return to our childlike nature is the simplification of our life.

So is it true that God's presence is within yourself? And if it is a belief at the moment, then we must deepen it as an insight. An insight which is deeper than perception. And when that insight is deeper than perception, then that is a deep faith. So if I said to all of you that you are standing right now, even though you may call me Father, you may call me Guruji, you may call me all these things, you'd say, 'No, no, no, this you're going too far,' isn't it? Because you trust your perception which is showing you that you're clearly sitting. But God's presence—to confirm that, you will need the instrument of intuitive insight and to trust that more and more. Because what I'm saying in worldly terms is completely absurd. In worldly terms, we are this body-mind. Each of us has an identity. That identity has a body-mind organism. It is basically just this: the life between birth and death is life. Now within that, to say in the heart lives God's presence, who is the Lord of all the universes that have ever existed, you see? And His presence is what we call our own being. Complete nonsense. Like when I was an atheist, if somebody told me this stuff, I would run from them. I'd probably slap them one and then run from them. 'Stop sharing all this nonsense' and run like that. So you don't want to... it sounds completely weird, strange. What? God's presence in your heart? Heart is just a physical organ which is beating, pumping blood, you see. Now it's not enough that all these poets have made such a fanciful, romantic notion out of this pump, you see; now he's saying God lives in that heart. So it's the most silly, silly business. Spirituality is the most silly business.

So how will you risk your life on such weird, strange, silly business? Sounds like too much to ask for. I'm aware of that. It's not that I'm not aware of that, you see. But I can only scream from the rooftops what I know in my heart to be true. Can I compel the Atma which is here to reveal itself to all of you in your heart? I can't. I can only pray to it. I can only plead with it. So, but it's not lost on me how strange, when we take Maya to be real, how strange all of this sounds. And yet it is the risk I'm asking you. And even when it doesn't sound strange and it's the sweetest thing to hear, it still feels like a very big risk. Some then have not really made the project apparent to you: to live moment to moment in His will, to be moved by Him and to be guided by Him independent of what you want and what you take to be right. And from that perspective, it sounds like a huge risk because more than all the other things we spoke about—money, health, all of these things—more than that, you value your life. And I'm saying hand over that life to that unseen presence. Not so that your life will be better, not even that. Just for the sake of Truth and God.

Father, there's a continuous urge to spend time with the presence, feeling that you know you're inseparable from the presence as you're able to witness it. So you're inseparable from it and all. At the same time, I have to fully admit that it's creating a lot of dissonance in everyday life. You know, sense of timeliness, you know, sense of, in the traditional way, you know, sort of doing things. You know, even sense of, in with friends and peers, conversations around what gives meaning in life and changing the world and all these things. You're lost for anything to say. And obviously in relationships as well, because then you kind of, you know, are to yourself more or less. It's just, you know, there isn't a regard for what what you're doing is of any value. In fact, it's kind of like detracts from family life because you're not doing it together. So I mean, I'm just sort of bringing it up because this is the kind of... if I were to put it like a seesaw, there's an urge on one hand, but then there's continuous sense of pinpricks or pain from all the other stuff. And then sometimes you ask yourself, 'Do I... is this only for a monk? Do you have to become monastic and stop meeting people and all that?' Because otherwise you just have to face the... again, to face the same conflict, right? So you have to just avoid situations and all. I know the guidance is that you're not supposed to, but I'm being troubled by this now. It may be mind, but you know, I mean, I'm saying all this in the sense that there's an urge to stay and keep coming to satsang and all that, but there's also this dissonance.

Exactly. This is, in a way, better illustrative of the risk that I'm speaking of. So let's use the same framing. So say there's an urge, and what happens to you is that you get a sakshat darshan of God when you come to the satsang hall or you go to the mandir at the back. It's clear to you, undoubtable. And then all these other things are happening in your life. You know, your partner is not agreeing with you, your friends are saying you're overdoing it, 'balance maker,' all this stuff is happening. But you are clear that it is God. Then what would you do? Is there a form of God that you resonate with the most? It doesn't have to be...

No, I think for me what's... I'm feeling is like, I mean effectively that the being is very present. So it really, you know, it doesn't feel like something that comes and goes, right? It's like, okay, there's...

Yeah, but I'm framing it in a slightly different way. I know that... okay, let's take the example. I know that you have a very deep reverence, beautiful reverence for Bhagavan in your heart. Yeah? So every time you came to satsang hall and you went to the mandir at the back, you actually met Bhagavan. Now you know that what I'm saying is that this presence that he is speaking of is the presence of Bhagavan. In fact, what Bhagavan was referred to reverentially was a direct comparison with the presence of being, which is Atma, which is the presence of Bhagavan himself, God's presence, you see? So Bhagavan is in your heart. But your friends don't like it that you're just living with Him, you're just spending all your time...

The last time you came to the satsang hall and you went to the Mandir at the back, you actually met Bhagavan. Now you know that what I'm saying is that this presence that he is speaking of is the presence of Bhagavan. In fact, what Bhagavan was referred to reverentially was a direct comparison with the presence of being, which is Atma, which is the presence of Bhagavan himself—God's presence, you see. So, Bhagavan is in your heart. But your friends don't like it that you're just living with him, you're just spending all your time with him. What are you going to do, you see?

So sometimes when we depersonalize it to the extent of, 'Oh, I know the presence is here,' that's why I also decided I'm going to say 'His presence' more than 'the presence.' So His presence is there. The one that Bhagavan bowed down to, the Bhagavan who built temples to His presence, is that presence that you're speaking of. And of course, it seems like a risk because our old templates of our life—our friends and well-wishers, well-meaning ones—they have their version of what is true. They will try to impose that to help you according to their template, see? But what is your heart telling you? What is your faith telling you?

So I would say that if one has found Bhagavan in their heart, then we cannot leave him at any cost. So don't just think of it as there's like a presence or 'the' presence; it is the presence, the One himself. In a way, over the past few years, I've heard this many times: 'Am I really cut out for this?' because although it's right what you're saying, I'm not asking anyone to leave their homes, their families, their lifestyle, their jobs—nothing. No prescriptions about food, not prescriptions about anything—maybe about smoking and some of those things, just for caring for your lungs and things like that.

But I'm asking you without a doubt to be a true sadhu, which is an inner sadu. There are so many who can become outer sadhus. For many sadhus, it's also egoic to be a sadhu; it becomes a new identity, a new personality. But to be a true sadhu is to be inward, clear, renunciate, not grasping at things of the world, grasping only at the Lord's feet in your heart, and to trust that to take care of whatever way life has to be taken care of outside. And 'take care of' doesn't mean all good stuff; it's not a cheat code to a wonderful life according to the mind.

Many times the true renunciates, all the sages we look up to, all the bhaktas, all the jnanis—their lives were not all beautiful and candy-flavored. Trouble will come, but how much do you love? How much do you love God and His presence? And of what use is our reverence if it can be shaken because somebody says, 'Oh, but maybe you're not going the right way'? And I'm not at all saying that we must become close-minded and just not listen to our friends and family. We must listen to our friends and family. Listen, but we must really check what rings true for us.

We are not closing ourselves out to what the world is saying. We are listening, and if things ring true in our heart, we are also following what the guide is telling us. In fact, in many times where the heart doesn't guide but it's open, then I just follow what the family says or the Sangha says, because the intention is to follow God's will. I feel like everything is completely taken care of. So it's not going to be comfortable, it's not going to be easy. And this is what I mean by simple but not easy. The choice is simple: the heart, which is His altar, His presence is there; and there's the head, which is living according to our self-will, self-righteousness, self-importance, self-concern—all of that. The choice is simple, but can we leave all of that? We can, moment to moment. And that is the invitation.

Find out who lives in your heart. This is the absurdity of Maya. Many of us are confirming that there is a presence in our heart, we are confirming there is a presence in our heart, but Maya stops us from finding out whose presence it is. But if somebody said, 'Oh, there seems to be an unnatural sort of growth on your nose,' then we'll get twenty tests done to find out what that growth is. But there is a living presence in your heart, in your Self. We'll see later, find out. 'I know it is God, but you know, I have responsibility.' And nobody's saying leave your responsibility. I'm saying you're most responsible to follow His will. Why are we okay with leaving that responsibility? 'I can't follow His will because I have responsibility.' So then, is it not your responsibility to be a good servant of God, a good follower of God? Whose responsibility is it, if not ours? Then who? Everybody working for the 'me,' the ego—who will work for God? I don't see any better candidates than all of us in satsang today. God blocks self-concern.

So all of you, I ask: suppose I say, 'Okay, you're not cut out for this, leave it.' It takes a certain level of faith, it takes a certain level of seeming risk. If you're not, then leave it. Because somewhere in your heart you recognize that it is true and you will not be willing to leave it. But the mind gives us this fear: 'Can I really do this? Do I need to be a monk? Do I need to be a sadhu?' Only then? I met a sadhu, a sweet sadhu came to satsang one day. Some of you met the earlier John, not the recent one that came, the earlier one. He said, 'Father, I'm really troubled, you see, because when I go back to my hostel, all the other sadhus trouble me.' 'How do they trouble you?' 'They take away my room, they take away my bed, sometimes they take away my food. They fight with me, and we are always fighting about this and that.' I said, 'What is the difference between a sadhu and a worldly one?' There's no difference unless you do it on the inside. If you change your clothes and you live in a sadhu hostel, it's not going to make you a sadhu. If you live in a cave and you change your clothes to saffron or white or whatever, it doesn't make you a sadhu. How are you a sadhu if you're still thinking, 'Oh, that was mine, that lunchbox was mine, you took it, I want it'?

The purpose, I think, is to destroy the ego, not become another one. Yeah, so this is a new, fresh ego: 'become a sadhu from the inside.' I was answering someone's question, or it was just ranting.

Patience and courage, both are needed. The ones who are resisting it and telling us not to follow are actually, in their mind, they are supporting us. They are preventing us from falling too deeply into spirituality or not doing it in the right proportions. So they're not feeling that they are doing something wrong; they're blocking, but they are actually trying to support you. They're trying to help you.

I think that those that don't support one are really... when I think about it, the ones in one's life who hold one back, they actually are afraid. They're getting something from us. Because I found like one of my friends, she keeps on saying that this is terrible, and then she actually owned up and said... I said, 'Why are you going on saying this?' She said, 'Because we won't have fun anymore.' So it was her own relationship with the Sonali of the past that she was afraid of losing out on. So it's actually to me that... and then some people, not some of my close relations, and I see that they may be then free of any need from me themselves.

Yes, in a way, yes. I don't disagree with that. I don't disagree with that because most human relationships are just a dance of projection. They are projecting onto you what you should be so that they can be happy in that relationship. You are projecting on them how they should be. Even the idea that they should not stop us is our projection on them. Like both ways, it's a dance of projection. The thing is that once one was to really start dancing to another's projection, we become very boring for them very soon, isn't it? So either way, this thing doesn't work like that, this dance of projection.

But I will also say that many times, because of the horrific stories, the horrific—let's not even call them stories—events that have happened in this country and in most other countries in the name of spirituality, it is very natural for our friends and relatives to be worried. It is not that people have not used the position of Guru, misused the position of having a pedestal, done all kinds of exploitation, more than criminals. So I won't always say that... because they've heard those things and they want us to be careful, I understand that. And the depths to which some so-called gurus have gone in this country is really a shame. So if somebody has seen a documentary about that or somebody has seen something or they know someone who was exploited by them, then they will obviously build a condition of aversion towards any of this.

That's why I keep cautioning all of you against the spiritual ego. Once your spirituality takes an egoic sort of shape, then there's no end to how you can rationalize that you're right about everything. And I feel that most who ended up as exploiters, as selfish spiritual teachers, it's not necessary that they started off looking for this kind of thing. They probably undertook a true search for the truth, maybe they had true insights also. But this 'Ravana,' the egoic aspect of spirituality, just uses it. Especially Vedanta can be used in very oppressive ways. Vedanta, especially if it becomes purely conceptual, gives excuses for bad behavior. It gives you all the excuses: 'It's only Consciousness which is doing it.' Half-surrender is rampant. Nobody says, 'You are the one doer and you are the one experiencer anyway.' Let's not make it so dark.

But when it comes to like close families, like my kids are very clear: 'We don't want Guruji in the house, we want Papa.' It's not negotiable with them. So they... and it's fair, maybe they do need a Papa in their life.

I see that usually things are much more nuanced than we can conclude. There could be a lot of variables at play. One tip—it may sound worldly, but for all of you—is just don't ever ascribe anything to malintention. Then you can ascribe it to ignorance. It may sound very simplistic, but you notice that mostly these things happen because the other one doesn't know better. They're not looking at our perspective clearly. So we are quick to make it about, 'Oh, this one is always like this, this one is always like that.' What is that, Occam's Razor? What is it called? A razor. He said that Krishna counted a hundred times before taking out his Sudarshan Chakra. We are very quick to take it out. Sudarshan Chakra, by the way, is one of the highest weapons that is in our history.

Why, Father? How do we know that this presence is God's presence?

What does your heart tell you?

So, it's not very clear, Father. There is in your heart... no, I mean to say that it really feels like God's presence, but where in the heart? And where is the doubt? Is it also in the heart? The reason I'm asking, Father, is where is the doubt? I know you answer me, both of you answer me. Sorry, Father, is this really God's presence? Where is that doubt?

In the head.

In the head. And your heart is saying...

Heart doesn't have any doubt.

No doubt. Where should we stay? Okay, the reason I'm asking this is, Father, when there is God's presence, there is so much devotion. Yeah, but when I feel the presence inside me, then there's joy, there's love, but this connection with the devotion doesn't happen then.

When you say God's presence has so much devotion, yeah, then what is that presence that has... which other presence have you experienced? Don't know. And what is devotion? So when you come to the presence within, we say there's no devotion. So what is devotion? Devotion is a word which stands for what?

Love. Deep love.

Deep love. And because you can love like... many times you... I mean, you may say you love your husband, and you do, but very few will say, 'I'm devoted' or 'I have a devotion for Manish.' He will say, 'I have a deep love for Sanjukta,' but he may not say, 'I have a deep devotion for her.' There is something different about reverence, love, and servitude. So reverence, love, servitude—all these are reserved in our heart for the presence in our heart. So that would make Bhakti. Bhakti versus a worldly love. So you don't feel that? I don't know if it's the same according...

You may say you love your husband, and you do, but very few will say, 'I'm devoted' or 'I have a devotion for Manish.' He will say, 'I have a deep love for Sanjukta,' but he may not say, 'I have a deep devotion for her.' There is something different about reverence, love, and servitude. So reverence, servitude—all these are reserved in our heart for the presence in our heart. That would make Bhakti versus a worldly love. So you don't feel that? I don't know if it's the same according to the mind. So stay in your heart because your heart is the true habit of what is true. So don't let your mind create the doubts. If Atma is not God's presence, then who will be? What is Atma? The presence within myself. If it was the presence of ego, then it would not be so. You would not call this Antahkarana, because it is a window into God. It is His own presence. That is why it is worth reverence, worth devotion, worth love, servitude. To see what else your heart tells you, follow that. This is a good exercise to learn to follow that, because your head will be full of doubts. Your head doesn't want this. Your head doesn't want you to live in the way of the heart. The head wants you to live in the way of the head, for itself, for its source. Where does longing for God come from? Your mind wants to see clearly, and yet you say a part of me is just longing so deeply for God or for Truth. Where does it come from? That's why it's so beautiful that although Atma is not distinct from the whole, is not distinct from the Absolute, and yet it is in a way. That's why I keep saying about this distinction/non-distinction—both are true. The presence is the Absolute reality as well, and yet the presence longs for its Absolute reality as well. It's all strange.

And it feels—I mean, these are labels I've given it—but when I think of when there's presence there, there isn't much longing.

That's okay. It has to determine what has to show up. Where longing arises, the fire of longing really arises here, is when it's seen that there's this engagement which is just happening and something is tired of it. Now, all that you know today, you leave here, okay? And I have a space I'm sending with you back to me. You left it, please. I hope I can leave it.

Inshallah. It takes years of building up this house of cards, and therefore it can seem like it's a big investment. But actually, you just blow it away. Is it covering the... yes. Can I explore the same thing as her? I'm going to trouble you like a trouble.

Yeah, it's okay.

Asking for a job. The doubt comes from the mind. The presence is here. Whose is it? This I don't know. And if you ask, 'Is it the presence of God?' why don't you know? Because right now, only right now in this exploration, this word 'God' seems to come from concept.

Okay, so leave that. Leave every concept. Presence is here, yeah? Who is it?

Love. I feel love.

Yes. So that is emanating from the presence, okay? Or is it the source of presence?

No, I'm aware of this love.

So everything that we can report about, even the most pristine, the most primordial, including love, takes birth within God, within His light, within His presence. Is it okay if I say awareness now?

In what context?

In this context. So say again, awareness in this exploration. You say, 'What about this love?' and it's coming from where? Is it coming from... and I said, 'I'm aware of this love.' Yes. So is the love in deep sleep as well? Is this still love? Because there is a love in deep sleep. I don't know. What's your heart telling you? All these answers are only available intuitively, and they have beautiful explorations, contemplations, and we don't have to rush them. It's completely okay to not know. But let the question be seeded, because these are the fundamental building blocks of life which we misunderstood to be other things. Love seems to be very fundamental right now.

Very.

It is fundamental. It's fundamental as long as it doesn't become a concept. It's fundamental as long as it doesn't become mental. She didn't help me complete that joke. Now I get it. Are you trying to understand?

No, I'm not trying to understand, but I was trying to go back to the beginning.

Yeah, so in the beginning, because when I drop, I drop the mind, I drop God, I drop the word God to God. Yet that's then... then I'm wordless.

Wordless is good.

How is your heart finding it when you are wordless? And is it finding it spacious?

Yes.

Untroubled?

Yes.

And then you're trying to understand, squeeze, it becomes constricted. Your face only changes. You see the difference in the way we are intuitive and the way we are intellectual? You're trying to understand, trying to squeeze it into our head, that which is unfathomable to our heads. Then we make spiritual concepts. But when we are empty, we are just intuitive. To the mind, it doesn't seem true, but this is when we are at the peak of intelligence. When we are empty, it's pristine.

I think the reason why it poked this question is because you said you must find out whose presence this is.

Yes, but how to find out is to contemplate. And how we contemplate in Satsang, and how the sages have told us—what have the sages told us about Atmic contemplation? Are we to think about things and come to conclusions? No. If the question is seeded there and you allow yourself to be empty, the insight will come in your heart. That's why a question like 'Who am I?'—you may think and think and think and think, but you cannot come to the right discovery just by thinking about who you are. The beauty of the question like 'Who am I?' is because such a great authority like Bhagavan himself has proposed that to us, and before that, sages have told us to ask who we are. So then we can't leave it also that easily. Then first we realize we try to solve it by thinking about it. We try to solve it by having an experience, like we are waiting to see something when we ask the question 'Who am I?' So many times we say, 'I ask myself who am I, but nothing happens. Nothing happens. When will I find myself? How does this inquiry work? It doesn't even work.' But we are still waiting for a sensory experience, as if a shining bright light will come one day and we say, 'There, that's what I am.' A sensory experience. It is beyond thinking and perception. So first it rids us of our thinking. We realize the futility of it, because if in our thinking we can't even answer who we are, then what are all these answers we have? What is the value of them? It's a very basic, fundamental question about who we are. We don't know. Then we realize the utility, the limitations of our thinking. And as we persist with the question sincerely, then Grace leads us to the presence of the Atma within, the Satguru presence within. It is there that we recognize who we are. That's why it's so troublesome. You ask anyone who has come to this insight, you say, 'But what did you find?' You will always find some strange answers. What did you find? You inquire, you say you recognize the Truth. What did you actually find? You can't explain that. There are different answers. You can see what went away: the sense of 'me' went away, separation went away. But what happened is very difficult to express. Not impossible, but you know in your heart. So a question like 'Whose presence that is' can also only be answered there, because your mind already has heard enough Satsang where you know the answer, you see? But that is not enough. It doesn't satisfy us truly. It's just a conceptual idea that it's God's presence. But when you meet that, as you recognize that it is God's...

I'm sorry, Father, I'm catching something now that I didn't catch before. I'm catching that there is this thought that is saying, 'I don't need to know what God is for me to be in Truth.'

Yeah, leave that. You caught the thought, you throw it back in the river or something. It's such an absurd thing to the mind. 'I don't need God, I just want the Truth.' It didn't say 'I don't need God' in a way; it said, 'I don't need to know what God is or whose presence it is, as long as I know He's there.' It's like what it's saying is that this discovery is not relying on me answering that question.

That's what it's saying. Definitely not reliant on answering the question. That one doesn't really have any answers at all. When the dictionary gives us the meaning of a word, what does it actually give us? Have you wondered this? More words. Yeah, and then we want the meaning of those words, then what do you get? More words. So just building more and more in the intellect. But it acts as if it is true knowledge because we don't rely on the true knowledge. So we think that is true knowledge because I have a concept of something, I think I know it. I know God: first there was Nirguna Brahman, then He became Saguna, and within Saguna there was the birth of this Jagat, and the Jagat, all this play of Maya is happening. I know everything like that. That's how it plays. But have you really met that? Have you really recognized that? So when false knowledge makes us believe that it is the end of the road, there's nothing else to know, that is when that is called Avidya, ignorance. I have no idea what I said.

So even if something comes that has been said by someone with true insight, we can discard that as a thought?

Say again.

Even if something comes that maybe has been said by someone with true insight, we can discard that as a thought.

Even if it seems to come from true insight right now, if your mind is proposing that to you... but like that, you have a nose for it in the sense that you know that if you're contemplating 'Who am I?' for example, and you heard in Satsang that you are that Absolute reality, you see, then obviously throw it away, even if you heard it from the Master. Because the contemplation is—don't worry about the word God right now, you don't need it. Yes, but the contemplation was 'Whose presence is it?' and your heart can't see God. And that's not true, exactly that's not true. So it starts building the defenses before the presumed attack can happen. Don't worry about the word God. God is not a relevant word, you see? Your heart is saying it is God's. No, no, no. God... the supply is endless, Father. The supply is endless. Supply from the head also, supply from the heart also. It's where you depend to drink. Leave the mind. There is some difference also that you notice. The nature of the mind is like that kid in class, the pesky kid—I'm sorry if any of you were one of them—but the kid who always, when the teacher says, 'Capital of Nicaragua?' says, 'Me, me! Yes, me!' So the mind is like that. It is always jumping, offering the answer. Heart is like, 'Okay.' Then the teacher turns to me, then give the answer. The mind wants to control the conversation, the narrative. It jumps with the answer. 'I know, I know, I know.' For not asking a question today, what happened? He's like, 'I'm coming. Endless supply, Father.'

So the one just now said the mind is always 'me,' and the other one would be a little bit relaxed and sit back. So recently, last week, I had some event and there were too many to-do lists and it was very sequential. It was getting so much irritated. You need a Gantt chart always. It's like a scheduling of that, and pick up, drop, bring bag—everything was so much going on. But then that was... it was not happening through heart. And then I was trying to see, as you said earlier, which are the activities which are really, really difficult without heart and you think the mind is needed. So that time, all the anger and frustration was coming out. So I don't know what... then again, this is just for asking. The question is resolving as he... so Father, it was real that I was last week scared of some job. Just saying, no, but there are few things which are really difficult without mind, like playing chess. I was playing chess with my son and he didn't enjoy when I was just playing like that without using it. And then he wanted me to...

You were losing badly intuitively?

Yeah, very bad. And then you decided to win. He didn't like it. My son didn't like it.

What? You have to play chess one day. Let's see.

The question is resolving as he... yeah. So Father, it was real that I was last week SC of some chop, so just saying no. But there are few things which are really difficult without mind. It's like playing chess. I was playing chess with my son and he didn't enjoy when I was just playing like that without using it. And then he wanted me to... you were losing badly intuitively?

Yeah, very bad. And then you decided to win? He didn't like it. Your son didn't like it. What? You want to play chess one day? Let's see. I don't know how it is even possible. I actually done this experiment and if you're just empty, you play much better chess. You know, like the one that is running this universe knows how to play. It's just like, how do the horse move? I don't know. And I created all this gravity and light and the horse goes two and then one. A bit complicated. I feel like we put intuition in the box of the mind's projection—what it can do and what it can't do.

There are activities which are the millions of processes in your body right now. It doesn't mean, again I keep saying, it doesn't mean that it gives you a cheat code then I just be intuitive and then I'll become, you know, I'll beat Magnus Carlsen or something. It's not meant for those things unless that is the will of God. But that is the only way in which you can live in the will of God, isn't it? So if you read the book—I'll just come—if you read the book that I was saying to the other man who came together, 'The Inner Game of Tennis,' you see it's all about this actually. They came to this recognition without truly embarking on a spiritual search, but they realized that as the tennis player, you're much better if you play empty. And all sports talk about being in the zone, and the zone is nothing but being empty.

So it was all dependent on what is the result which was my mind expecting. If the result was not expected, then how can you judge I'm playing good or bad? Thank you.

How is there any good or bad in that? That's why I say that in humanity, in our head, we have not solved the basic question. Like a beggar comes to you, asks for money. Should you give him money or her money? How can you determine what is good or bad? So everybody has created their own philosophy about this. 'I don't give because I know,' 'I give always because I...' you know, whatever philosophy you may have. But the thing is, we can only know from our heart moment to moment what we should do. Not that we can know their intentions or you know, we've changed their life or something. Just what is good for us in that moment, we only know from the heart.

I feel it's very, very easy to, when we speak so much about the mind and the heart, to present the mind as an enemy. And it pains me because it's like a trap almost. And I think it's very important to love, because if you're in the love, there cannot be also no love for your mind. It's a wonderful tool that we have as human beings. It's a gift from God and why should we fight it? It's divine. And what I wanted to say to him is if you feel so many things are there that your mind wants to regulate, take a breath, step back. It's like, I'm a housewife a lot of times. I have many dishes and I'll start with okay, one dish. I'll focus only on one. My list is very complicated. I ran a restaurant for many years. I got up every morning with a big list, but when I do one, the rest I have to forget. That was my... and then the mind is wonderful. Do that one. But it's really, I feel a lot of pain literally in my heart, I feel the mind so put down.

Yeah, yeah, I hear what you're saying. And I've heard this quite often, that I'm always beating up on the mind, picking on the mind. You see, it's very... this reaction I've heard many, many times. But what is the approach then that we have to take about the mind? Like there's a... I had a cousin when I was growing up. This cousin, so I was maybe ten and he must have been eight or something like that. So he would say, 'Last week in my village, the greatest cricketer,' you know, he would say Kapil Dev was a very famous cricket player those days, 'he came and he threw a ball at me, and then I hit it for a six.' So he said like that. So every week he would have a story like that. So does that mean... so is it possible to love the cousin but not take his word for what is true? That is the fine line.

And like Guruji says, your mind is not your friend, not yet. Because what it hides from us, what it convinces us of in terms of what our reality is and who we are, is very different from what we find when we come to the Satguru presence within. So is the mind made up of Consciousness? Is it also made up of God? Of course it is. But in the design of this Maya, it is the one in the narrative who is convincing you of avidya, of your limited nature as only a body-mind. So love the mind if you must, but don't buy into the identity that it is proposing that you are. So you can say, 'Okay, this is my cousin who's always telling stories, making stories.'

If you have the greatest teacher in the universe guiding you moment to moment in your heart, that's why it's called the Satguru or the Holy Spirit or the Atma, the greatest guidance, then that can guide you moment to moment. And to make the distinction of what is right and wrong, good and bad, on and on my own terms, you see, which is the nature of the mind, is what will keep us caught up in the play of identity, in the play of limitation. But try it. I know that looking into your eyes I can tell that something is resisting that, something... but what I usually propose is that instead of thinking about whether this is right or wrong, let's sacrifice one day on this. We can sacrifice maybe a weekend, one Saturday or a Sunday. Just go with your heart on that day.

Let every thought come and go. Like the Zen master said, thoughts are visitors, let them come and let them go, don't serve them tea. So what is the tea which we are advised not to serve them? And Papaji said, 'Be quiet.' What is that quiet? Was it the outer quiet, the mouth should be quiet? No, he's talking about the inner quiet. When Bhagavan said if there's only one choice you have to make, make the choice not to enter the stream of your thoughts but stand away from it. Then Guruji says, 'Just don't log in, don't identify.' So when we say don't believe your next thought, there must be something there that all these ones are telling us something. The Zen master said don't serve them tea, let them come and let them go.

So let's not think about what may be the right answer. Let's say, okay, one day next Saturday, today I'm just going to let all this go, whatever the thought is offering. You see, if my friend is not going anywhere, I can get it back on Sunday, it's fine. So just on that Saturday, let the thoughts come, let them go, and then you have to tell me then after that what happened. And how does that look practical? It's a... you know, when you say that, what does that mean? Sit silently? No, you move, you live. No, is the mind, is the thought moving us? Are these words that are coming from here, you see, are they coming because there are thoughts which are saying them, or your response that comes from there? See, you could be nodding your head or not agreeing, either way, is that coming from the thought? That's the research. Let's find out.

Let's find out what happens because there's this fear, you see. This is a very natural fear that comes from most of us where we say, 'Okay, just live headlessly.' One saint said, another saint said, 'Just drown your mind in your heart.' All these things we've heard over the years. But your question is very valid: what does that actually look like? So what that looks like in the morning is wake up, then if you remember that this was the day I'm going to be headless and full of heart, so you just allow the thought to come, let it go. Allow the thought to come, let it go. And as we let it go, what most often happens is that our attention also starts to move away from the content of the thought with the absence of belief.

If you start with attention, then it seems very difficult. 'I'm not going to give attention to my thought.' That seems like a very difficult yogic process to do. You don't have to do any of that. Observe the thoughts are coming one by one. There can't be two thoughts at a time. You see that it is one message at a time. It is like one mouth is speaking in your head. So observe how it is coming. How do you perceive a thought? Like, how do you know that you're having a thought right now? You perceive it or no?

I have a hard time... I'm having a hard time to get a thought.

That's what happens when we welcome and we say we're going to explore this. Then that which is the constant... yeah. And even when you're having a hard time having a thought, are you vegetative? No. In fact, many report that 'I am so alive.' Intelligence has not gone away. Breathing is still happening and responses are coming. It is moving when it has to. So who is moving all of that independent of thought? There is still some intelligent movement of the body-mind, isn't it?

Okay, so that was my misunderstanding. I realize that.

Yeah, experiment too. That's my advice to anyone, that we can think a lot about whether thoughts are useful or not and what relevance they have in our life. But when we start experimenting, 'Okay, now because this foolish, absurd, strange man has told me to, I'm going to invest one day in what he's saying.' Pick one day and say, 'Today I will just allow.' As the Zen master said, front door, back door both open, thoughts are visitors, let them come and go, I will not serve them tea today. Come on me. And it's been quite a revelation for many who tried like that. You come to a deeper source of insight, a deeper knowledge which is the presence of that. The perfume of those words is why you come to Satsang. The words that come from the heart. You could just read a book. Thank you.

You mentioned something about if you're giving attention, try to control it with the attention. See that I will not pay attention to my thoughts.

So all these yogic practices of paying attention to your breath instead, or chanting the mantra instead, you see, then it becomes such a difficult thing. Like, I've not come across one who actually succeeded in controlling the... I didn't still understand that attention to the thought. Yeah. So what is one way to not think? What is one way to not think? Because attention is limited. If I keep my attention fully on my breath, for example, then I won't think because thoughts will not be perceived without attention being available for the process of perception.

Now, most don't succeed at controlling the attention to this extent, you see, because it may work for a couple of minutes, then it starts wandering. It's famous for being a wandering monkey. So attention is all over the place. It's like this famous example in spirituality: so if I say don't bring your attention to a pink elephant, it seems to just show up over the attention. But what I'm really saying is that don't believe you're a pink elephant. It's much easier. So when the thought is there, even with attention, nothing is lost. And I've often said the two keys of the locker or the ATM example, you know. So both attention and belief have to be there for us to log in or to identify. So belief is so much easier to manage. The two primal forces of Consciousness in this worldly play are attention and belief.

Thank you. Please guide me, Father. So when I'm in the office or when I'm surrounded with a lot of people and when I come to this presence of me, so it's a very light touchy thing, you know? It's like abhas to feel very light, comfortable, peaceful. Like sometimes what happens, that feeling comes when I'm alone, when I'm practicing or when I'm in that moment, it is more intense and it is more gripped. So am I doing it rightly? Because sometimes mind tells me, 'No, no, you're only at the surface, you have to go more cross.'

Like you have to start like that. It will be easier when you're alone. You can just rest in the presence. But then make sure that every time you're alone, you are in the presence.

You know, it's like abhas, to feel very light, comfortable, peaceful. Like sometimes what happens is that feeling comes when I'm alone, when I'm practicing, or when I'm in that moment, it is more intense and it is more greed. So am I doing it rightly? Because sometimes mind tells me, 'No, no, you're only at the surface, you have to go more cross.' Like you have to start like that.

It will be easier when you're alone. You can just rest in the present. But then make sure that every time you're alone you are in the present, then interaction, everything will start seeming as if it's happening in that same presence. Presence won't go away, but your mind will always point you. And if you... so that's why I used to take this example, saying about the mind a bit scared. So you're going to catch the thief. The thief is not going to call you and say, 'Oh, this is my address, come and catch me' like this. It's always going to say, 'Oh, I know the thief, it lives over there, catch it over there.' Is it? So this is the nature of the mind. So the mind is saying, 'No, no, you can't do it like this, you're doing it at the surface level.' Be careful not to just automatically believe the opposite also, because that trick also the mind can play. But just return to your heart and say, 'You guide me.' One, you keep right.

Father, when you're witnessing that, you know the thoughts come and go and you're aware that the mind is there. The thoughts are just going. It's not like you've gone deep inside; it's there waiting. So the question is, when you're asking me something, you know, in a normal mode, office or outside, and I have to answer something, or even imagine I have to give some gyan, you know, something somebody asking a question like in work, right? Like I'm giving ideas to a customer, like it's a little gar, right?

Sales meeting, yeah, exactly.

And you impress the customer, exactly. And God can't do it, of course. No, when I'm trying to do it from here, this, it's coming here and then I can see this mind is capturing it. Even though it's coming from my heart, I can feel it here, it is mind. You know, it can happen, there's a bit of a rush.

So we were talking about this in the walk. When the question is asked, then we put ourselves in this pressure sort of mood. Is it? We talk about it in satsang also, that in India if you ask somebody which is the way to go to this restaurant, everybody will say, 'Yes, go ahead, little bit take a left.' Firstly, they get rushed, and secondly, they don't want to seem as if they don't know. But it's not a bad thing to not know where that restaurant is. And yet somehow we have a deep aversion to looking stupid, as if we don't know. So when somebody says, 'Okay, why is this sky blue?' especially if it is a customer, then, 'Okay, why does your product cost this much and not this much?' Sales cost me whatever the product, like that. Then you feel, and the mind is the one who's saying, 'Me, me, me, me.' Then it seems attractive to pick up that one's answer because it alleviates us from the stress of being in that rush. So we just feel like, okay, that... so we sometimes go with the untruth just because we want to be relieved of that pressure of not having the right answer. We almost like, 'Let me say this, then we'll see what will happen later,' because we just... that is so uncomfortable. But just experiment with this: allow your heart to move your mouth.

And also Father, when I start a sentence, I know I'm like here. By the time I finish a sentence, it's the mind finishing the sentence and it's playing with a comma and the grammar, right? And then it's taking over the whole essence of the sentence.

Now, now it started. Pause. Slowly, slow. Be as slow in your delivery as you like. Don't... but don't allow your mind to paint a picture that, 'Oh, when you're speaking from the heart, it's always slow motion.' All tricks. You have to be a little careful of all of that. Sometimes just coming out in the flow, you know, just... then later, 'What all did I just say? Who was I answering? What has happened?' Don't... because the mic is in your hand and everybody's attention is on you. This is the pressure that the mind will use to create that.

Father, you've always spoken that the mind will rush, right? I've seen throughout my life the best moments are the moments when I've not thought and I've just delivered, right? In fact, I really don't know sales, I've survived like really, you know. So when somebody is telling me that, 'Do this, do this this way,' right, and I have to process it, I really can't do that. And I've been told like, you know, most of the times, right, like when I was small I was being called over andu, you know, and took... yeah, like, I don't know, some fancy names they kept, you know. So now I'm looking back, if I removed that part of me, all the success of so-called good things, right, would not have happened. Now I'm trying to control that because I find it like, after coming here, it's the mind. Okay, so this confusion is there in front of me, you know, as an opener.

You just have to just play the game. No techniques. Just go, just go. Right? Then where is the confusion?

Your entirety of your being is confused. My whole being is in confusion, like the poet, right? Kind of. Okay, I'll tell you Father, after something happens, the mind comes and says that, 'Now you did this wrong.'

Where is the confusion? Obviously it's coming from my head. So leave it.

So I'm like, when I'm in the natural thing, there fear comes in. 'Oh, this is your mind.'

No, the mind... this is your mind. Yeah, actually it's happening. It is telling me like when I'm doing something, right, it's telling me that, 'You don't know, this is the mind. Don't do this, just slow down, slow down.' It's saying the mind is telling me to slow down. I know these tricks very well. In fact, as I started sharing satsang, I was a silly, naive kid, which I still probably am. But one day in satsang it came to say that all you have to do is not believe your next thought. And I was like, after hearing this, everybody will become free, all who come. You see, that's so easy. Just all you have to do is not believe your next thought. What's so difficult in that? Then these kids had started having so many thoughts about not believing thoughts. They were believing, 'Oh, I was not supposed to believe that thought. Father had told me not to believe that thought. I am not doing it correctly. The instruction itself may be wrong. Maybe Father doesn't know what he's talking about.' You know, all things around this one instruction: don't believe your next thought. They were believing hundreds of thoughts. That's why I rarely say it now. I've got PTSD from that.

I mean, I'm just feeling that there's no way you can define it, you know. It's feeling that or thinking that it's coming from here. My... I mean, I'm feeling it.

You're feeling what? Don't explain your feeling, describe it. When you have a feeling, you can observe it like a contraction or what not, some sensation. That's a feeling. See, the narrative of what that means is being provided by the subtitler of this movie using the 'M' word.

Oh yeah, yeah. He's busy. Guru, nothing is coming, I'm guessing. But this mind is waiting to process. If I do something, it comes, it's just waiting to catch it and process it and throw it from the mind. But nothing is coming here. But this wants to talk, to say something, thinking it's coming from here. So that's when I start blabbering.

I'm enjoying your contemplation, your exploration, because it's good to notice even these subtle things. Most of us spend our whole life and we don't notice the mechanics of all of this functioning.

Last question, Father. I want to understand, or rather like a 101 question. Before coming to satsang, I want to know how do I prepare? Technically, I know you have to be open, empty, just come. And coming to satsang, how to prepare? Like if the mind is... yeah, how do I prepare?

You have to come for the morning walk.

Morning walk? I will come, Father. This... don't... I really want to because I somehow feel I'm not coming prepared to receive. And it's coming, coming, and there's a layer of the mind, right? Whatever you're saying, it's processing here and you know, so somehow I feel I should more, more...

No, okay. They can't see it. Leave your laptop at home first.