God Is Always Here. What Takes Us Away From His Light? - 11th September 2024

In this talk about being passion-free in thought, word, and deed—ahimsa, Gandhi says, and so many traditions have said—sins, greed, lust, anger, pride... is just being narrative-free what takes care of all of this? Or is it just enough to be narrative-free? That's the thing.

Yes. What trouble? You need a story for it. And if we cannot be narrative-free, then we must attempt to make Him the central character in the narrative, and deservedly so. Don't you feel it's really a question of faith? Is He here? Is He here? And if the answer is yes, then who is central right now? Right now, right now, who's most important?

So we must be very careful of this spiritual-sounding narrative which is full of 'me, me, me' but about somewhere about God. So like I was saying last time about 'my relationship with God'—instead of 'my relationship with God,' you get the emphasis and putting the emphasis on Him, you will realize that weaving stories becomes very difficult. You see that He's here now. Say something. What is happening with Him as a center? It becomes very difficult to then say, 'Oh, this is what's happening with me, and then this happened, and then like this, and it's always like this, and when will it change, and what is my life going to be?' It's impossible.

Which doesn't mean that Maya is not going to try. She's going to try her very best to present this from and to believe this from an individual perspective rather than the emphasis being on God's presence. So really it comes back down to that question whether He is actually here. And this question will always be a question of faith, because even insight ultimately is a question of faith. But remember, faith is not belief, and it is especially not blind belief.

So that's why I found this line very, very important: to be present to His presence. Extremely straightforward and explosive, actually. Because He is present, whether palpably, tangibly, experientially or not, He is present. Are we present to Him? Are we taking this relationship for granted?

I met one friend a few years back, and he's quite advanced in his years, must be the late 70s or maybe early 80s even. So when we met, I was saying, 'Wouldn't you want to find God and be with God?' And he said that, 'Oh, I don't want to talk to you about that. I found Hanuman Ji when I was 15 years old. That part is sorted. I just came for friendly conversation.' And many times in our life it has become like that. To make a parallel, it's saying that, 'Oh, I actually got married to the partner of my dreams when I was very young, but then I didn't spend any time with them.' That second part we don't say, because God has been made into an accomplishment rather than a holy bond of love. And we must stay away from this accomplishment-type of spirituality.

So if you married the most perfect partner in every way and that was an accomplishment for you, so you tick that box and then you didn't really bother to deepen that relationship and the rest of your life went on other things, then that also doesn't count for anything, you see? So it's not about accomplishing love. Every moment is an opportunity to deepen in Him. And because ultimately it is a question of faith and grace, it can never be an accomplishment anywhere. It is always ultimately going to be God's doing, God's grace.

And in Indian spirituality, there is a deep relationship between the picturization, visualization of death and time. Many times it's used interchangeably—Yama, all of these things—which means that it's really a question of time. And I really want to emphasize this point for all of you: that it is time. It is about time, more than about time. Time to let go of that which is selfish, let go of that which is 'me, me, me' and focus on that which is about Him.

It's all right, we can have a little bit of 'God give me this, God help me with this, God me this, me that, me,' but if that is the overriding nature of our relationship with God, then what kind of relationship would we call it if it was in the world? If with our best friend all you are interested in is 'Can you do this for me? Can you help me with this? Can you get this when you come do this?' Is there any other texture to our relationship with God? And if our worldly relationships deserve better, then does not our Godly relationship deserve better?

Just to preempt the question, all of this is an attempt to become empty. Because this question was very sweet in the sense of saying, 'Is it enough if I'm narrative-free?' And many times we attempt to be narrative-free, but sometimes being narrative-free then remains as a narrative. And to empty ourselves from that is ultimately again a question of grace with full devotion from our side.

So how do we empty ourselves of narratives? It's like falling in love. For those few days, for those few hours—maybe I don't know in today's generation—but for that little bit of time, you don't want to talk about yourself, which is a rare time. So that kind of obsessive love, crazy love, has one safe object where you can apply it, and that is God Himself. And because this relationship cannot be one-sided—well, it can be one-sided, it can be from God's side alone—but if we turn to Him, it is not possible that He does not reciprocate. So that reciprocation leads to deepening, an ever-deepening virtuous circle of love. A love story with God then makes us empty of our own selfishness. And everything is right for you. You're here in Satsang, and everyone who finds their way to some supportive environment to go deeper and deeper in His presence, His light, His love, is very blessed. Too little is it?

So the second aspect of the Atma samadhi was the Bhava samadhi, where just deepening in this love, we are empty of ourselves.

What is the tool to deepen in this love? Like an active tool to empty? Intention is to be empty. One found one tool which is helpful is to recognize that the person and the world are all manifesting from Him. Then look at them as equal. But rather than looking at 'I'm the person who needs to do something,' just say that because His presence is all, then the person and the world, the concept itself of 'I am other,' is all from Him. So then the truth is Him alone. And then doing that, then the presence, the separation between Him and the identification with the person—that grasping identification with the person and sensations—starts to fade.

Good. And you notice that whatever the tool may be, there is one common aspect to it which is included in this mechanism which you shared as well, and that is that it must be about remembrance. The more we remember God, the more we will deepen in His love. The more we remember 'me, the me,' the more His love, He will seem distant. And it is an active love in that way.

But what is a tool if you feel like we can't? Because I was getting this question often saying, 'But I can't create this love. I can't just love.' Is it so? Then what can I do? And it came in one of the talks that when you think of a sweet baby, then love just comes for them; it arises. In the same way, then, remembering of God can lead to a deepening of love. Remember we are talking about that second part where we are saying that if to be fully free from the story is too difficult, then make God the central character of the narrative. If you can be fully empty, then we can just remain in His presence very easily. But at least foolish ones like me are not very good at doing that, so maybe you need some tools to manage.

So that simran, that remembrance, that smaran, is a very powerful tool which the sages have told us about—to remember the name of God, for example. So really worth contemplating: how present have I been to God? How much have I invested, in a way, in this relationship? What keeps me deeper in His remembrance, in His love, and what pulls me out? We should really, really contemplate this question and make a very sincere attempt to banish that which pulls us out. Do you think that there is anything possible in that list—but it's important to make that list just to remind yourself—but do you think there's anything possible in that list which could be worth it? 'Yes, it pulls me away from God, but you know, it's worth it.' Is it true? Exactly.

So that's why I'm saying it's important to make that list, because these are the traps which seem like it is natural for me to be like that. 'It is natural for me to get into anger when it comes to this particular relationship. It is natural for me to get into greed when it comes to work. It is natural for me...' You know, we make these stories. But the true indicator is our heart compass. The heart compass tells us whether we are being pulled away from God or we are deepening in His love. So our list must contain everything that starts with 'Yes, but...' God is here, but... and 'but' means 'but what about me?' What is it that makes us forget Him, not be present to His presence?

And what a privileged statement to make. We are so privileged to be able to contemplate that He's always here. What pulls me out? We are talking about the Light of lights, that which literally He who literally gives light to the sun. He is always here, and we are contemplating what pulls us away from Him. Can you imagine the being? Many times these words just... we become jaded to them. So when I say He gives light to the sun, can you imagine a being like that who gives light to the sun itself, and through trillions of suns like that?

I heard something very beautiful this morning in my sadhana where this saint said, 'Whatever we can think of Him can never be big enough. Whatever we can think of Him can never be big enough.' So He is always here. What would we call the mistake of stepping away from Him although He is here? Such ignorance.

Many times these words, we just become jaded to them. So when he gives light to the sun, can you imagine a being like that who gives light to the sun itself and through trillions of suns like that? I heard something very beautiful this morning in my sadhana where this saint said, 'Whatever we can think of Him can never be big enough. Whatever we can think of Him can never be big enough.' So He is always here. What would we call the mistake of stepping away from Him although He is here? Ignorance. What can you have a better deal than that you can give up the ephemeral for the real? I mean, what better can you get? What better deal can we get in life?

Yeah, I was just saying, okay, if I didn't say—I can't say so honestly I know God—I'm saying if I can say with some integrity that I'm not always in God's presence, but I can also say with as much integrity that I see that this world is ephemeral, that it is going away, that it is changing. So then why am I going there? I mean, I can ask myself that. Okay, you say that this is at least apparent to you that it's changing? Exactly. So it's for people like us who see that this is true, and they see that it is true that we still go to that which is ephemeral, false, Maya. It is for people like us who can conclude that this is ignorance or Avidya.

Just very simply, yeah. Now, so let's contemplate this question: What takes me away from His light? And zero in on the specific traps, specific tricks. It's not enough to say 'the mind.' Of course it's the mind; there is no Maya without the mind. But what specifically grabs you again and again? For anybody want pens? Seems like there's a collection of pens.

Let us pray deeply for strength to let go of all of this that keeps us away from His presence, from His love. God, I only want to be with you. Please, please take away all that gets in the way. I only want to be with you. Please help me take away everything that gets in the way.

Let's today find the one thing which we notice in our list, or even if it is coming to us now, which just is a complete waste of time. Just a complete waste of time and keeps us away from God's presence. So don't rush to put in things like family time, sharing love and companionship with friends. I'm not saying these things necessarily, unless you're overdoing some of that. I'm saying just like in my case, for example, the news or just keeping up with what is happening in the world—don't need to so much. So see for yourself what that could be and where you could utilize that time for prayer, for remaining inward focused.

Social media in today's world is a very common example. Doom scrolling literally is leading to doom. It is all right to keep in touch with friends and to share love, but if you're spending hours and hours on just looking at what's happening in other people's lives—apparently it's all made up mostly anyway—that could be one. Like sports could be another. Do we really want to see five full days of a test match or one full day of a cricket match, or will the highlights be enough? I'm not prescribing; I'm just sharing ideas from my life. Find the time to be with God. Yes, actively try to find the time to be with God. Exactly, yes.

So one thing that I'm trying, but that may put too much pressure so I'm not yet proposing that strongly because I've also been doing it for a very short time, is just to wake up early. So I've been waking up at 4:00 just to actively spend time with God, because that quality time is usually not possible in the midst of so much activity and things. And determine for yourself, if sixteen hours of waking time is there, how much of that should be devoted to our relationship with God? So if you wake up early, then it's not sixteen, maybe eighteen, but that's all right; we need sleep as well. But how much of even the sixteen can be devoted to just being with God?

The more you remain with Him, also you'll get a deeper and deeper sense of what is pulling you out. Because if you see your list, you will see many times you report to yourself, or even to me sometimes, saying that 'I didn't even realize when I got here, when I became so disconnected from His presence. I didn't even realize till I was already in the thick of it.' And initially it seemed like I was enjoying it, but now I'm starting to suffer, or the slaps are starting to come as a result of the ignorance, the deepening in the ignorance of following my will instead of God's will.

So that heart compass gets more and more polished, and that then becomes your indicator of even when to speak or not. You just start to get that auspiciousness from your heart. Then that is the simplest way of following God's will, because you don't have to speculate, 'Oh, this is what God would have wanted' or 'This is what my teacher would have done.' You know, these kind of speculations, we don't have to do them, which is all right if you're not able to tune into your heart compass, that's all right, but that has to deepen.

Many times you've said, 'Is my hand real or is God real?' and even that serpent-rope analogy, many others are that. Is there any danger in just praying anything that makes the world seem real to pray to be rid of it and keep like any sadhana to stop taking the world to be real just in that one swoop? Is it dangerous in any way?

No, prayer is the—even to completely disregard the world as real like that—God will only give us what He feels is appropriate. That is the meaning of prayer. Prayer doesn't mean that we are taking a position about it. See, we are praying for that which is untrue to be taken away from our life and that which is Maya to be forgotten, but what God will give us, everything in appropriate measures. That's why to pray is always safe, more than to decide, for example.

That's what I'm getting at. What if I decide?

Because in our decision we are creating a new position. Also, what needs to happen is that once you take the first dip in the Ganges, usually it's very short. You can't take the—it's too cold and you have to get out. You know, you may feel like you're drowning or something. So as you're taking this inner journey, inner dip, it has to be in the right measure, and God regulates that very beautifully. Right measure in the sense of how much to, in a way, force it and how much to—when to breathe in, how much to—so that ebb and flow is a very natural process which has to flow naturally. And God is the best judge of that. So our intention should be 100%, but we don't leave it to Maya to make it 50; we leave it to God to flow it in the most auspicious way.

Is it not up to me how real I take the world to be, or is it up to God?

It's like a clap. You need two hands. If you're missing from it, it won't happen. If He's missing from it, it won't happen.

You would recommend it in the sense, my end of the—do not take it real?

Yes, we have to keep everything that resonates with us. And not everything resonates with everyone. Maybe five things at best, maybe one thing hopefully resonates, but that one is enough. But for that we really have to put our best foot forward. You have to be full-hearted about it.

Thanks.

I know very well that if I say, 'Do you take this hand to be more real or God to be more real?' it's not going to just finger-snap, everybody is going to say, 'Oh God, yes.' I decided it is an ever-deepening. But that provocation is important, that invitation is important as well. That is why we can only be Atma-driven, we can only be spirit-led about these things, because who is to otherwise determine how much is enough, how much is less, how much is—sometimes our mind makes such timid boundaries to our faith and says, 'No, no, no, enough, enough, can't do more.' It says, 'No, no, we have to balance it.' That's not what I said. I said God can balance it out better than we ever can. So best to surrender to His will, and to surrender to His will our heart compass has to start to function and then has to become clearer and clearer.

Are you getting a sense of why I keep saying there's no time? Because the project is pretty large. It is a big one. It's not an accomplishment, 'Oh, I found God, finished.' It's ever-deepening, it's ever-growing, and we cannot let this relationship stagnate because the project is of faith. Words will only go so far; they can only push to a certain extent, and every word has the possibility to create confusion as well. So we have to tread very carefully and be fully heart-led in the sharing of words. I'm talking about myself. That has to come from here because I know that if my intention is just to serve Him, is just to spread Him, to be in love with Him, then one way or the other His grace will take care of everything. But if my intention gets contaminated with, 'Oh, see the cool thing I said, see how great I am,' that kind of stuff, then I take the onus on myself to deliver a message which is going to lead to that deepening for all of you, which is just not possible to do. It's not a human thing at all.

The sharing of Satsang is not a human endeavor at all. It has a human-like edge, like the front end is human, but if the process is not beyond human, then it's not Satsang at all. And for that, the front end, the instrument, has to be as—or at least be in the endeavor to be as transparent, as non-performative, as innocent as possible in the sharing of Satsang. That's very, very important. Maybe someone is taking themselves too seriously, so this sort of humorous thing came to me saying that a mystic is one who is not 'me-stuck.' A mystic—you can't hear on that side? Again, what to do with this? As it is, so little of what I'm saying is heard. I was saying that a mystic is one who is not 'me-stuck.' You can blame the Atma for that.

Some days I see that I'm quite overloaded with work, so I'm not able to find a dedicated time to even chant or read Ramacharitmanas. So then I thought that at least when I'm working, I can work in the presence of God. Yeah, but even that becomes very difficult when you have a target to meet, you have tasks to complete. So the thought about the completion of task remains, then being in the presence of God. In such a case, what can we do?

Quit. I'm just making the point so that I know I have many scared faces looking at me now. So I'm making the point that how is it that that work is work, but this work is not work? This work is work, but our life depends on that. The fear becomes so overwhelming that it doesn't let you remain in that presence and then work. Because what I saw was that, I mean, finally you have so many hours and the task has to be completed, so you don't need to be really afraid. You can do whatever you can. Tasks that have to be completed which are so stressful that you can't be in God's presence and do them—these are self-imposed deadlines or they are from—?

No, they are from the management.

Management. So, worthy contemplation that how is it that—which is the work on which our life truly depends? Actually, I thought about that and took a call, and last Wednesday when I had a lot of work also, I just left the work and came to Satsang. And still the work got done by Friday, I don't know how. So just reverse your priorities. Just call this work and call that whatever, something. Yeah, reminding me of a conversation I had with someone a few years back where we were talking about this and they said, 'Work is worship.' I said, 'But worship is not worship.' Work is worship, but worship itself is nothing? Like you say, it's about that risk. It is that at least risk the contemplation there. Too much fear even to look at it. 'What will I do without money? What will happen to family? What will society say? He has left everything and become a sadhu. Too much Satsang is not good.' All these fears are there. But really, do we want to spend our whole life till sixty, sixty-five, seventy, whatever the age that you want to stop working, just keeping this what we're calling 'work' priority, and then whatever leftover little bit is left for God? Many times—

About that risk, it is that at least risk the contemplation there. Too much, too much fear even to look at it. What will I do without money? What will happen to family? What will society say? He has left everything and become a sadhu. Too much satsang is not good. All these fears are there. But really, do we want to spend our whole life till 60, 65, 70—whatever the age that you want to stop working—just keeping this what we are calling work priority, and then whatever leftover little bit is left for God? Many times I found that many of these pressures are self-imposed. And many times work can also... like often we talk about when you're starting to deepen in satsang, the perfect relationship, seemingly perfect relationship, shows up to distract you. Work can be just like that as well. What is your most important role? You see that. And that's why it's sometimes good to call it a project, because for the project at work we have to stretch, stretch. And for this project, what is the important, most important project? Okay, don't send the resignation right now. Some of it is rhetoric. He just authoritatively opened his phone and I'll have an angry wife calling me soon. You can pass the mic to him.

At that time I just wanted to tell that, you know, when you're driving the car, you know when it's naturally happening. And then when you are driving, yes, you know for a very prolonged period of time for like, say, say you're going for about a 500 km drive. It's making noise. 500 km drive, I think about 490 km the car is going on its own. That 10 km somewhere your ego plays, or somebody will come and you know, try to do some launch and then you'll go past. Then you'll realize that, you know, it's you driving. Like, you know, it's not naturally happening. And that's how most of it is going on.

Yes. Yeah. How many resignations have been sent? He left in time. He left before this conversation. What is the most important work? So first quit that inwardly. Whatever keeps you away from God, quit it on the inside. And then if you find that if things on the outside keep going this way, then you can't quit it on the inside, then you have to quit. We have to... like, we conceptually can, but sometimes life puts us in situations where... that's why I'm telling him to actually... I'm not telling you to actually do it, but if that was really the situation, that this thing just keeps me away from God constantly, then we have to get out of it. We have to try our best. We can always only try our best. So what you can do is you can start by saying, okay, you said in that 16... what is the hours you said? In the 16 waking hours, how many hours were for God? You said it's okay even if it is one. It's okay. If it's less than one, we have to talk. But it can't be whatever is left after all the trappings of Maya, whatever little is left. Because 'only He has to do,' no, that is the favorite excuse. 'When He calls me, then I will pray.' Many... so one is good. So one. So if you can do one hour of focused prayer and your job doesn't get in the way of that, then it's all right. Then you can build from there. But even if that minimum time you're not getting, it also forces you to take out if there's some other waste of time which is going on. Still not able to hear on that? No. How many hours do you work every day? How much is that? 12? Release. Okay, let's go to Peter. Okay, now can you hear me?

Father, yes, yes, yes, yes. Hello, Father. Um, yes, it relates to the conversation you just had. And when I contemplate what pulls me out, then there's still a little some confusion about this old Zen thing, you know? When in Zen we said, if it's no-mind then it's okay. And we all know there are activities which absorb you so much that you are completely no-mind, that there's no 'me,' there's just the activity. And if you... for example, in my case, there's attachment to motorcycling. Yes, when I'm motorcycling, there is really... I can say this is a state of no-mind. I'm completely focused on the activity and there's no 'me.' But at the same time, I can truly say it pulls me away from God. I'm not focused on God; I'm just completely absorbed in the activity. And this is, maybe because of my Zen background, this creates a bit of a confusion. Because from this point of view, I would say, yes, everything is okay, there's no-mind, there's no 'me,' there's no ego, there are no thoughts, there's just absorption and some kind of doing. Like, you know, in Zen they say, if you eat, you just eat; if you wash the dishes, you just wash the dishes; if you whatever you do, you just do this and no-mind. You know what I mean?

Yes, yes. Yeah. So but it's now it seems to me like a trap, you know? Like, 'Oh, no-mind, wonderful,' but where's God? And your heart has to tell you that is one. But secondly, you can also check on... so if you were to pray or to inquire for, let's say, half that amount of time, then what is the aftereffects, aftertaste of that? Suppose you prayed for one hour or inquired for one hour or just stayed truly in His presence and remained empty for one hour, versus motorcycling for two hours. Is the aftereffect the same?

No, completely different. Completely different. Yeah, because I know so much because every morning I'm praying and inquiring and really I feel this presence and it's there and it's so different. It has nothing... yeah.

Yes, then we can cut it a little bit. Yeah. That's the answer. Yes, because our heart actually tells us. Your heart is pretty, pretty clear about it when you made the report also, that you could see the distinction between the mind's version of no-mind and the true just surrendering to God and His presence and to come to that holiness. But there could be a case, and that's why I said what is the aftertaste, aftereffect, because there could be a case where some activity is almost, or if not almost, it may be exactly like praying or worship for you. And you feel the same thing in your heart, that same deepening of the connection, the same deepening of the love in the heart. And if that is the case, then it's fine. So that is why that heart compass that we were talking about today is so important to really check, to really check. Because the mind has the best reasoning for everything, and many times the reason can sound spiritual. The reasons can sound spiritual.

And what also came to me, it's not... the notion here was always it can be any activity and it's just the way I approach it or the way I deal with it, if there's God or if there's not God. But now I feel there are really activities which just pull me out. No matter... I just... they pull me out. I cannot avoid it. Yeah.

Yes, yes. If you notice these things—and that is the contemplation today—to notice for ourselves these things which we are just... the mind is making some excuses for them, but we know in our heart that it's pulling us away from the holiness of our hearts. So we must... we don't have any more time to waste. The life which is spent deepening in our true relationship with God and the death we will have when we have a deep relationship with God are both completely different. Completely different. For is truly a satsang air conditioning, unperceivable in its effects. You can't tell. You just have to have fear. Okay, should we read? Okay, let's go.

Yes, I thank you. I just felt to say, yes, being with God is what we are here for. And many times I have to contemplate how some ideas about what being with God is replace being with God. Yes, and it can come in many, many, many ways. And one of them is, of course, again a scenario, a story. But some stories are seducing, so to say, when it is about... because we are evolving and we know we can have, for instance, the main thing for most of us is to come closer to God is a scenario in itself, you know? And whatever we can believe is bringing us closer to Him can become a kind of practice. And so I love what you said about this, what is being in sat, being in satsang, to be transparent and exposed actually every moment. Yes. And I guess the reason why I'm wanting to talk is because all these traps are omnipresent, so to say. Every corner they come. It can be... one big one, I was saying, is the evolution, because we can believe many beautiful and incredible scenarios about the evolution of humanity, for instance, and towards... and we kind of nourish them even because we see we need hope and we see so much pain and suffering. And so we say, 'Oh yes, but I...' and I do say that many times. For instance, at this moment many beings are awakening, and so awakening becomes the big thing. Or to be more... for others it will be more ecological, becoming more ecological or whatever. So we cling to some reassurance and blueprint. It can be a very sophisticated and long-term one, or a daily practice, a very simple daily practice, Zen practice or whatever. I just don't want to respond and to give any... but I just wanted to bring this as an echo to what you said about what is being in satsang. Yeah. And because it's what makes sense to me. I must come all the way back to now. And yeah, thank you. Thank you.

Now, okay. Either you hear me or I hear you. I can hear you now. Yes, I hear you. Okay, let's go to Sajan.

Hi. Hi, Father. Hey. Um, on this subject of just staying with God and what's the best how, I've been looking since you presented this. It's a continuous deepening in this. I just wanted to free flow a little bit and then see if you can say something and maybe also be exposed in any buildup of arrogance that can happen. I think you told Anu some days back that how would she know if he... because she prefers Atma Gyan to praying. And that was a very good question, like, how would you know that if you're in Atma Gyan all the time? Yes. And it just sprung few other contemplations, like also with praying. Maybe because it involves time and it involves a certain quantifiable thing, it's more easy to think, 'Okay, I've done my job, I've done...' Yes. Although I should not speak about it because I don't do... I don't put much effort actually into praying, to be honest. But maybe that's a bit of reluctance about it. Sometimes just spontaneously it happens and I find myself saying the Atma Darshan Samadhi prayer. But somehow just what feels most powerful for myself—and I have to be careful to make any general statements because that's one of the ways, because you were asking how are we taken away from God—and this, I feel, is one of the ways that mind is trying to find the best way, which is actually... or to compare things and to make like the perfect way of the perfect teaching. And it can only be spontaneous and inspired from peace.

There's no such perfect teaching, and that's a very important point actually. And maybe we can spend a few minutes on that. We must be able to see for ourselves that when this happens, when inquiry happens, then and I go really deep within myself, I find a deep insight which is beyond perception. Or we may be able to say that when inquiry happens, then my mind is just very distracted, then nothing is actually deepening. And whatever we are practicing, we should be able to, from a deeper place, gauge what is the byproduct, what is the during and aftereffect of that spending our time in that way. Because we have to be very careful of our mind's judgments in terms of what works for us and what doesn't work for us. I mean, if something really worked for us and it is in a way opposition to the oppressiveness of the mind, then why will the mind tell us that this works for us? So we have to be really careful of the judgment that 'this is my path' or 'this is not my path.' That is one thing. And we must be very heart-led. We know in...

During and after effect of that spending our time in that way, because we have to be very careful of our mind's judgments in terms of what works for us and what doesn't work for us. I mean, if something really worked for us and it is contra, in a way, opposition to the oppressiveness of the mind, then why will the mind tell us that this works for us? So we have to be really careful of the judgment that 'this is my path' or 'this is not my path.' That is one thing, and we must be very heart-led. We know in our heart how something deepens us or how something doesn't deepen us, so we can work with our heart in that way. And it's best, actually, to not be too conclusive about these things because what works for us can change every day; it can change every hour, actually. So it's best not to label ourselves too easily, too quickly, and not to be too conclusive about our way, about our method.

And like I was saying yesterday, the key is that: who does this moment belong to? If in your heart this moment belongs to God, but in your lips you don't know anything better than to say A, B, C, D, E, F, G, then that is still prayer. That is still deepening in God. If this moment belongs to God in your heart, if you offered yourself to Him in your heart in this moment, if you surrender to truth in your heart, then it is prayer independent of whether it is inquiry, whether it is prayer, whether it is Yoga, whether it is devotional singing—whatever the millions of practices that we can do. And they all work if our life in this moment is for God. Our life in this moment is for God.

So that is the second thing in terms of—you're absolutely right that we cannot actually say this is the best way, the highest path. There's too much of this nonsense in the world today which says, 'Oh, this is the highest path, this is the lowest path.' There's no such thing. Anything that leads to God, we must not disrespect Him by saying this path which leads to You is the lowest path. How can it be low? So we must not get into any of those traps because, in fact, each one of us is carving our own paths. Nobody's really following any paths; we are just getting feelers which God is sending us in one way or the other, and we are building our own way to get to Him. And that is the unique of the spiritual journey, that everyone will have a completely unique path to God, to coming to true darshan of God and also remaining in true insight of God. So in that way, it is absolutely true that it is a pathless path. But Grace always sends us the right next step, the right book, the right teacher to listen to, what is most appropriate at that time. If our heart truly belongs to God for that moment, then God is blessing us with that insight. So that is something that came to say about what you were saying.

Now feels like what I was about to continue maybe it's not even necessary because it would just be to speak for myself. Because I really, I'm growing in so much respect for devotion and prayer, and whoever makes any step towards God in any way, it's so beautiful. And I take this from you so much, this love and this humility. At the same time, myself, I do not shy away from just applying what feels it works here and what feels that at the moment maybe it to change. What brings this mind to an end is really seeing that all is—there's only God. Everything is made of Him. All experience is somehow this. There's also a joy here to leave attention free of any predetermined engagement and just to engage with all of life like I'm engaging with Him.

Yes, that's right. That's very good. So to know that is—see, to know that all of this is God, we cannot know it in Maya. Like, if I'm very pleased to hear that you are saying that you can spend just most of your time in knowing that all of this is made up of God, because the place where we can really know that is the same place that prayer leads us to, that inquiry leads us to, that any true spirituality leads us to see, which is the way of the heart. So to know that really—there's a 'know' that we mean like, 'Yeah, I know it's all God anyway, so I can just, you know, just treat everything like God and it's all fine.' So that's just—then you can get the sense that it's not a real knowing, it's just a conceptual placebo, like a conceptual idea. But to really operate from the place where you know that—that's why the word 'know' is very confusing and we have to check which 'no'.

So to really know that all of this is God, then we are in the our temple, whether it seems that way or not is not important. Whether something seems palpable or tangible, that I'm sitting in Maha Temple, that is not important. But to know the truth means we must be in the truth to know the truth, see? So again, this heart knowing, this intuitive insight, this only happens in the discipleship of the Atma, in the discipleship of the Holy Spirit. And if we are operating a lot of our time in the gentle knowing that all of this is just God, then that is a very auspicious way to live, you see, because you're living in the heart when that is the case for you. And that is why I'm saying that the path can seem like there are so many different paths. So if somebody really lived like that all the time where they just knew everything is made up of God—but not just here conceptually, because you cannot always know conceptually really—you can be settled in your heart in that knowing and then, like you said, leave your attention free and just live like that. And that is the same as being in unceasing prayer. It is no different because we haven't forgotten God. We remain in that knowledge. That heart connection is deepening, actually, is it?

So if it is true like that, that you spend—you're able to spend a large part of your time in that heart knowing, in that gentle knowing that everything is God, and then pure perception is just naturally happening where attention is free to flow, then that is to remain in the unceasing prayer. So it's a beautiful pathway to God.

And how you said that it's not always a—you cannot know always conceptually in that, but the knowing itself stays as peace or as a quiet love or joy. And that's if that infuses whatever is being done.

Exactly. It's almost like there's no tangible knowing, but it's just—exactly. Because try to something like try to know that everything is God and have this conversation. 'Yes, yes, everything is made up of God,' and then the minute you switch to the next thought, that knowledge is gone, see? It may be available for you to come back to it, but in that moment we are not living from there. That is the problem with just conceptually knowing, because we can have a belief that 'I know,' but when our life cannot be lived on the basis of that knowing, then that knowing doesn't actually help us. But the problem is that it convinces you—the mind convinces you that this is the right way to know, the belief is the right know. That's why to notice that we are deepening as we remain in the true knowing, although with our mouth we may be talking about what to order for lunch, and yet to know that everything is made up of God—that knowledge is not going because it is a stable place in our heart where everything is known. But just as a reminder to return back to that, we can use this as a pointer and say, 'Everything is made up of God.' And as long as that actually is felt to be true in the heart, then we are in prayer, because prayer is to remain in remembrance of God, and to know that everything is God is to remain in remembrance of God.

And Father, I feel also really also to surrender the one who this fear or this over-concern—because maybe a certain amount of concern is healthy—but this to not make a mistake, to not be pulled away from God, feels itself like a blessed struggle, but it still comes from—without that, there's really no control. Like, it's all His grace, it's all, yeah, I don't know exactly what I'm—but this doubt of someone who could step away or be more in God can become—can deep too much in the mental.

It can be too much and can be too little also. Yes, yes. So this is the fine line which—and that's why I was saying that as a teacher sharing, attempting very feebly to share God's light, the teacher has to be as empty, as transparent as possible, because only the Holy Spirit, only the Atma can really determine how to guide the next step. Because the same next step may become too much, or the same next step may lead you in a different direction, you see. So that too little or too much—because too many also fall into that trap that, 'Oh, I'm just living spontaneously and, you know, I'm just...'

I sorry to interrupt, sorry. Yes, sorry. This is exactly what sometimes I feel they're doing this, but in other communities more. Like, I see them, but in our—and this is might be a judgment that I am happy to just don't have it—maybe in our satsang with you and with Guruji is more this self-doubt that is maybe more than this guy, 'Okay, I do what I want.' And is this always doubting oneself and just making like being afraid of making mistake and making a huge deal out of just small things of life and like—that could just be easily corrected and it just becomes an identity that goes on with this kind of like sad story about, you know, how I'm failing God, basically.

I understand, I understand fully what you're saying. And that's why we have to be really careful, because a little too much this way or a little too much that way can make this holy opportunity of loving God in this moment—can quickly make this about me. And see things like that. But too much concern about it becoming about me can also be about me then. So it's a very delicate sort of thing. And that's why I love what one of the great sages in India said, Hanuman Prasad Poddar Ji. He said that if you've fallen, don't despair; just get up. That's it. If you get stuck in despair, then that can be very egotistical as well. But the other side is just as dangerous, where we just into this sort of lip-service, armchair, la-la-land spirituality where there is no risk, there's no sacrifice, it's all self-serving, and God is meant to do things for us, and we have to just do whatever our mind tells us to do, and that being our idea of spontaneous living—that can be very dangerous as well.

So can I say that I know the perfect combination? Not at all. Maybe in my—I can say what it feels like is that the intention here seems pretty clear, pretty clean, you see. So I have to trust that somewhere that if the intention of this one is truly to share God and not make it about Ananta or about any of this, then His grace, His love, His kindness must be taking care of everything in that process. Because I really don't know any better, you know? I don't know if—like if you were to say that in every satsang I have to be clear about how much to push and how much to let free, then I just couldn't manage it. Exactly from a deeper place somewhere. And that's why the transparency and not wanting to be known or remembered, but only for the focus to remain on God—my hope is that that keeps this expression in check and allows the heart to flow in whatever is needed for everyone to hear. What else can we do about it? I guess that's the only thing we can do: that we have to hear with sincerity and with a devotion to God, and then that will keep us safe and healthy on the right path. And the sharer has to share drenched in God's presence, drenched in God's love, and that will keep it safe and healthy, I guess. So these are beautiful contemplations and there's not—it's very, very difficult to determine conceptually what would be the right way.

And in that, sorry to say something, I feel in that I can—it's more clear when I look at the intention here rather than to not make a mistake or to do the best thing. I rather if the intention is pure then probably I will...

The sharer has to share drenched in God's presence, drenched in God's love, and that will keep it safe and healthy, I guess. So these are beautiful contemplations and it's very, very difficult to determine conceptually what is what, what would be the right way.

And in that, sorry to say something, I feel in that I can... it's more clear when I look at the intention here rather than to not make a mistake or to do the best thing. Yeah, I rather... if the intention is pure, then probably I will make all the many mistakes. So, you know, we have to risk that. I don't know, I don't know better, no?

It's good. It's very good that intention is the key. And when that is combined with a deep willingness to sacrifice our own will, that let God's presence move me, let God's presence guide me, and our intention is fixed on Him and we're willing to sacrifice what we think we want, then I feel like it's a pretty safe... um, not safe from a worldly standard, because it may lead to a lot of struggle coming in our lives also. But somewhere that is recognized to be auspicious, that sometimes the deepening needs that struggle, that's that fuel. So, and even that we cannot say how much is needed or how much is not needed. We just have to trust where this comes from.

And the attempt over the past many months has been to remove the performative aspect of sharing satsang, to remove the Ananta from the satsang with Ananta, just to allow the Atma to use this mouth. Can I say that I'm succeeding in that? No, I feel like I'm still far from it. But is there a little bit of progress? I feel like there is a little bit of progress in removing the contamination which the instrument naturally brings to the process of sharing, which has to dilute more and more. I feel there is a little bit of forward movement in the right direction and I'm open to correction on that. If any of you feel that I'm fooling myself, then I'm happy to learn more about that. But I wonder if this is engaging for any of you, but it's just this lifelong journey of never-deepening love. Thank you. Thank you so much. Love you.

Let's go to Radhe Shyam Ji. Father, it's so good to... so good to have that one minute. You say Radhe Shyam Ji and then Radhe Shyam Ji always starts with Ram Ram. So you have Radhe Shyam also and Ram Ram in just 30 seconds. Very beautiful. Very... yes, you go, you go. Okay, let's go to Samia.

Hi, Father. Thank you. I just thought I miss you. I miss to be in this presence and here I am. So yeah, I don't know. Just when I come, of course, I'm again the spirit, Father. But other times, like, I don't know, as if like I'm always want to be in this purity, you know? And it's like otherwise, I don't know, I just always want to be in this purity.

Yes, that's good. That's good to have, carry that intention in your heart and it is bound to bear fruit in our life.

Yeah, maybe because otherwise, like, it's unbearable. And but it's always comes with its solution, so there is nothing to complain.

Yeah, it is much better for Maya to become unbearable than for it to be comfortable.

Yeah, it's always unbearable somehow, but yeah, it's always comes with its solution because it's also became unbearable and it just brought me to raise my hand. So okay, nothing to worry, it seems. Yeah, it was just felt so unbearable.

So, before... yes, my child, very welcome. What I was saying is that before we come to satsang, many times it feels like Maya is actually quite tolerable. Many times it feel like that. But then there comes a stage, like Hanuman Ji said, that if we spend one moment away from God, we become restless like a fish out of water. And that holy restlessness is very good. So again, these are things that we have to say carefully because it can sort of signify a life of strife or struggle. But you know what I mean, that it's a holy restlessness. It's not the usual worldly anxiety. It's just like you're missing home. You're missing home. So that is very auspicious, very auspicious because we move away from Maya being... there's this idea of karmi, like the way where we supposed to do our real work and get some true fruits. But that is not our true karma. The true karma is to build the heart temple. That is our true work. So we must not sacrifice that work at the cost for anything in the world.

Thank you, Father. And one thing I would love to offer also, like one thing, sometimes this restlessness also, because it's just too restless, I also... I'm also shying from sadhana as well. Like I just became restless and I don't even do sadhana. But anyway, at the end I always meet with God because it's unbearable for me. But still I just wanted to share. And other thing is just kind of prayer because for some time we could not meet with you and finally again we in satsang and we can see the difference, you know? Even this just this two, three hours is just like completely just being in this is something else, Father. Even though we feel like we are still with you, just coming real time with you is just something else.

And I actually, I'm offered a job and because of this therapy issues etc., I kind of accepted it. But even the idea of it, because it's just a six days of a week, it's just overwhelms, like how I'm going to be separated from Father? Because I cannot live like this. So I still know that just God knows my heart and yeah, my prayer. But still I just wanted to bring this, yeah, kind of worry to you and again and again just want to pray to God because I don't care about work, I don't care about money so much, even though it makes me a little sad sometime. But anyway, yeah, my whole... it's not even intention, like I cannot live without God.

Yes, very, very good. That's it. That's...

But still I'm... if He grants me some easiness on this, I will be happy. But because He's my God, you know, who else I'm going to ask?

I agree. I agree. We can ask Him for anything. We can. He is our Father, He is our Beloved, so we can ask Him. Very good.

I ask for answer as well, so thank you, Father. I thought to come too far maybe if I can... with the work that we are sharing today and with the work that we are sharing, yeah, I start... I don't know, I try to follow as much as I can. I started new work but it's like it feels like it, yeah, it take... it's taking me. It's like even now in satsang I feel like not completely settled and like the whole day spent like that. And I see with this new work that you started, yeah, how does this theme get decided? Like everyone has the same topic for the week? So this work... so you heard what I said to Anup?

Yeah, try it for some time. If it really keeps you away from God, then just leave it. It's fine.

Yeah, like to be honest, like if there was not the idea that I need money desperately and otherwise I'm going to maybe, I don't know, lose place, I would... I know it's not good somehow.

Yeah, first take everything as a gift from God, then keep your heart open and it'll keep guiding you minute to minute. And when something ripens in your heart, then it becomes really clear, then you can take a call. So in that way we learn to follow the will of God. Because to follow the will of God we need a lot of patience, actually. We need courage, of course, a lot, but that courage translates into patience and not rushing, you see. So my often saying, 'Don't rush, don't rush, don't rush' to all of you is the very core of spirituality somewhere, the core of servitude, the core of bhakti. It's very, very important.

And God doesn't need to test us, of course. So to say that it's a test is a very primitive probably way to look at it. But in a way, in that primitive way, we can look at it and say that God doesn't give us instant answers many times. The same question sometimes lingers for many years and then unravels in such a beautiful way and we realize the value of that patience. We realize the value of that not rushing. It deepens us so much in this way. So with everything, take it as a gift from God, but be open to God's guidance every day, every minute, and then your heart will become very clear this way or that way, then you can act on it.

Yeah, and when you said somehow, when you said today, like sometimes it feels like during the day that you're not even here. Like I have to be... sometimes it somehow feels like that, that I can... and even though I try so, so much and even though this trying, let God's pointing somehow come in the way, like I don't know, I cannot always feel my own presence somehow.

Yeah, yeah, that is the whole purpose of Maya. The whole purpose of Maya is to make this world seem present and we seem absent to ourselves. And that ourselves is our Atma. The word Atma itself signifies the I-am-ness, Atma like that. So our own... we are absent to ourselves and that ourselves is God's presence. That is the whole design of this Maya, this mysterious play that God has created for Himself. So to return to the presence is us learning to be present to His presence, to our presence. Yes, yes, it's how we go through these struggles which determines our depths. How deeply we are able to meet Him in our heart is always for everyone a process of some struggle, at least for some a lot of struggle, for few a little lesser struggle. We can't say why it happen that way, but how to go through those struggles with patience and courage determines the depth of our relationship with God.

Like I have... if I have so much faith in you and in God, it's like undoubtable. But like if I... yeah, but the faith somehow, like, yeah, it's not somehow... so I don't know why, but somehow my faith is not so strong as it used to be. I don't know.

Don't worry, don't worry. As long as you're in satsang, all this will happen. Sometimes we have these ups and downs. It's all right. Thank you. Very good. Bless you. Let's go to Anup. What's the report?

Thank you. I don't know why I cannot hear you properly today. Can I try to... is it like this? Today I was saying that everyone's waiting with bated breath to hear whether the gani one or the bhakta one... yeah, oh I see. Actually my question was quite different today but I... honest... yeah, okay. Really, I just cannot stop praying. It somehow is like come spontaneously even if I just don't think about it, it just switch on in me and it's just... I don't know, it's just saying, I don't know. And also sometime I'm just going to a temple but I mean I didn't plan to go there and I go there and there is so beautiful singing from Jesus and it's all like a surprise. And actually I try to read a book, Adyashanti about Jesus as well. So I don't know, everything take me to this gani way even if I don't want. I said to myself maybe this is not my way and still something is just like pushing me and this is... it feels so nice as well like this.

So your report is, if I'm hearing you correctly, your report is that when you try to pray, pray, pray, you wanted to be open and empty. When you tried to be open and empty, you wanted to pray, pray, pray.

Yes. I mean, actually still this is not fully in my hand. I... sorry, what did you say?

I said just continue trying to be open and empty, then you continue to pray.

Yes. Yeah, I... yes, I don't know why. It's just like this. I don't understand actually. More and more I realize how I don't understand how things is going on with me and this just unfolding things. But I don't know, I really sometimes I just realize how much I don't understand this way, this mystery, God and everything is like holding in God's hands and I have no answer. I have no explanation also not to myself. And this is why now I feel how is childish to come up with... I had a lots of question now and I feel you already answer to everything and I won't ever understand even if I read books like Ashtavakra or Ribhu Gita. Until I tried to understand, so much suffer I had. And once something came to me and said to me, 'You will never understand' and it was like a shock. But after... I mean, it's something, I don't know, change and I just read it still, follow to read it, but it was... I don't know, some... I don't know, I don't know how to tell you, but it was just different.

I feel you already answered everything. I won't ever understand even if I read books like the Ashtavakra Gita or Bhagavad Gita until I tried to understand so much suffering I had. Once something came to me and said to me, 'You will never understand,' and it was like a shock. But after that, I mean, something changed. I just read it still, I follow to read it, but it was just different and it was opening so much from that time, if I can say this. But still, there is one trump card that the mind can build up again and again and use it. I still give importance to this, and I still give power to looking at this question and caring about it, and this takes so much time away from God. I know I already told about these things, but still, I don't feel that... my feeling is like you would not like to answer directly to this question for some reason. This is kind of because we say God is all, all is God, and this also comes to my heart so much, and Jesus is everything and is everywhere. But straight away the mind is coming with this dark, these demonic energies. Honestly, if I told you now—but I can't because this is going to YouTube and I don't want to go to a mental hospital—but this kind of black side is always with me, actually from my childhood. They are showing up, these kind of like demonic, dark entities or energies. I also cannot answer who they are, why they are here, and why they are following me from my little childhood. They are really dark, they are more cruel. This is not a sin, because we were talking about it; it feels they are really happy when someone suffers and cries. I cannot say everything is God, all is Jesus, all is God, because they are not. They are just all the opposite. This question goes in my mind so much and I want to understand: how can we say all is God?

Yes, let me see if we can meet this. First, I want to say that I have no taboo about this topic of dark energies, demons, all of that. I have no taboo about it. You're right that I don't want to speak about it too openly because, you see, our minds are very susceptible to things and they're very scared. So if I was to speak openly too much, then a lot of you will start imagining that this is happening to you. So that's why I don't want to speak so much about it, but I have no taboo about it. I want to share a few things about this. Even in the last satsang this topic came up, but we sort of answered it in the end and kept it not too much fuel for the mind to pick up on the fear. But since it's come the second time, let me share a bit more about this.

So if you look at all our history, all our religions, all our cultures, there is mention always of these kind of energies and these kind of entities. In all, like in Indian spirituality, it is very prevalent, very common to speak about these things. In Christianity, of course, it's very common to speak about these things. So it is there in all cultures and traditions. Now, what I was saying last week, if you can just fully hear that with full faith: the great Indian sage Tulsidas Ji has written the Hanuman Chalisa as part of the... along with the Ramacharitmanas he's composed many beautiful texts. In the Hanuman Chalisa, there is one line which says that all these demonic energies, spirits, whatever you want to call them, don't come close if you take the name of Mahavir Hanuman, you see. And does that mean that it has to only be the name of Hanuman Ji? It's a beautiful name, you can take it, but you take whatever resonates with you deeply in your heart. I promise you the name of God is strong enough for any of these things to not trouble you, you see.

So when you feel like you're being attacked or something, just take the name of Ram, take the name of Hanuman, take the name of Jesus, just say God. That is the first part of what I want to tell you: trust, have faith that the God that you love, that the Jesus that you love, for Him all of these things are nothing. They're nothing. You know how He took out demons from people? It was nothing, not even that, you see. So just have that faith that if God is with you, you cannot be harmed. Nothing can ever happen to you. Nothing will ever happen to you. And as that faith keeps deepening, your love for God will keep deepening. All these things will seem like popcorn and peanuts to you. They are not as... just like the mind is not as scary as it claims to be, none of these things are as scary as they claim to be. It's the fear of them which is much more than the actuality of them.

The second is something very beautiful I heard a sage say. He said the devil is nothing but an angel who fell for pride, you see. The devil is nothing but an angel who fell for pride. And in again all cultures, all traditions, the same thing: the rakshasas are nothing but those who became proud of their spirituality. Ravana, who's the king of the rakshasas, was just so amazing actually, but he just became proud and he just went the other way. It is the same thing which is said about Lucifer, about any of these in any culture, any tradition. It is basically about this pride. And this is the pride which I have been trying to communicate about for so long.

So what are the two things I'm saying? One: the name of God is enough to not be scared of anything in this universe, anything. Second: that everyone, everything is a child of God, everything is Consciousness, but pride can make everything seem very dark. Our job is to stay away from that pride ourselves. So with these two, you'll be absolutely safe. And if you trust Jesus, then just your one cross is enough to not ever be scared of these things. It's all a question of deepening in your love and faith for God. Don't worry what will they do to you. God is the giver of life. All these things which come in your mind, they cannot really do anything if you are with God.

This is the question. You said if you have a deep relationship with God, death is going to be really different for me. My sense is like I can really dissolve fully into God, into Jesus, when I die. This is what I wish most. But still, I don't know how deep this connection is, because if it would be really deep, this kind of energies long time ago just would have left me.

So instead of using the time to speculate that if it was deep then this would happen, you must use that time to deepen in that.

Yes, of course. Can I say how deep is my relationship with God? I feel like I'm just starting. I feel like... I don't know why you say always this, really.

I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Because every day I feel like there is more deep to go, and that 'more deep to go' doesn't stop on any day. I don't feel like, 'Oh, deep enough.' Every day I feel like more deep to go, every day, every day, every day. More deep to go, more deep to go. So sometimes I feel like how much of this deepening is possible, and I must be just beginning if every day I feel like there's so much more deepening to go. So that was meant to be reassurance. I don't know how it was. God is infinite. He is infinite in His love and His presence, in His grace. So everything that we can do in our full power will only ever be scratching the surface. But we have to keep deepening, that's all. He has never turned away from us; we turn away. Just keep your eyes on Him and then you make a report on what else is happening.

Yes, Ananta Ji. So can I really say that everything is God?

Yes, say it is God. Say it is a good starting point.

But can I really believe?

No, no, no. Not know with the 'n-o,' but know in your heart, capital 'K,' know this as a fact. You can know this as a fact in your heart. When you are in His presence, you know this as a fact. So operate from that knowing instead of just that thinking, which is all right as a starting point. It is okay to remind you to deepen. It's all right. And I make this prayer now that anything that wants to bother you is welcome to come and bother me. I'm here. I'm here to be bothered by them for all of you, actually. God is with me in my heart and I know that His grace shelters me, gives me refuge. And if I have to suffer in some way because of any of this, I'm very open. There's no problem. I know that that will deepen my love for Him more and more. May all these afflictions of my children belong to me. The prayers that we sing at the beginning and the end of satsang both are very, very important, very, very important. And both are written by one of the greatest sages ever, Goswami Tulsidas Ji. So just even if you don't understand, just participate in the prayers and you see the difference.

I don't deserve this.

D put her hand up. Let's go to D.

Thank you, Father. I just wanted to say a little something also on this what she was sharing. Like, I can see in me some loyalty to something that is keeping these things going. And sometimes it feels discouraging. We feel so strong, like I feel I'm trying but maybe not enough, like I don't have enough strength or just too much feeding something, you know, stubbornness and all this stuff. And I just want to ask for grace and for persistence. I see when I persist, it's like so much space opening and I see so much like the possibility which is immense, like what we can really discover. And yeah, I just feel like I have to not give up. And thank you for all your support. And yeah, I'm really apologizing for being so weak. But I have to... this is somehow the journey I have to go through. And yeah, I ask for grace. Thank you so much.

You're welcome. You're welcome. It's a very beautiful prayer. It seems very simple on the face of it: 'Give me the strength to persist because when I persist, I see that I can really deepen in this.' This is very good. These prayers really touch my heart because when we go through it, when we go through the struggle of fighting Maya and remaining with God, then we realize the difficulty in trying to persist and we realize that we cannot do it without His power, without His grace. It's a beautiful, very beautiful prayer to me. Very happy. Let's sing.