Don't Pick Up Anything About Yourself - 29 May 2015

So let it come. Don't fear the fear. Say, 'All the fear, whatever you have to come, you come. Let me see what you can do.' You find that it is powerless. So instead of saying that 'You must go now, now you must go, even this fear must go,' you must say, 'Okay, I invite you. Bring it on. What do you have?' Like this we can see. And this is what I also used to do. I used to say, 'Okay, this is fear, so scare me. What is it that you have? Bring it on. Let's see.' Bhagavan also had something like this, isn't it? In this moment of awakening, he felt some deep discomfort or something strong was felt inside and he felt, 'This is death.' And then it came to him, 'This is death. I want to experience what it feels like. I want to see this death.' See, in the same way we can say, 'Whatever is coming, I want to see what is happening.' Then you can see it's just some little bit of energy jumping around and seems like such a big thing. Just some energy which is playing for you. No energy is strong for the space. There is nothing which can hurt space. So space is not worried about what is coming or going.

So these few remnants of some energetic remnants can remain as long as we are not energizing them by figuring out some energetic solutions. You see, the trick is that many times it happens that some energy is coming and we are trying to find an energetic solution to solve it. 'So if I do this, then this energy will also subside,' you see? And then we make the practitioner out of ourselves. Instead of that, just very direct. We are always very direct, isn't it? So we are directly saying: this energy is here. Okay, good. This is also Grace. Let me see how I am being touched by this energy. Instead of trying to fix something, instead of trying to change something. It will not last. Lose the fear of it lasting, then it will not last.

Yes, thank you, Father. It's exactly as you say, to stay with that. And now I learned to stay with that still in my bed. I just stay, even laying down I stay, and I let everything be. Just when I was younger before, my mornings were so strong and, as you said, now is trying to figure it out how to come out from this energetical feeling. And most often I would just jump out from the bed, just like I wake up, I see all this and I say, 'Okay, let's do something.' Wake up immediately, run, run, you know, like running away from that. And it was the pattern over the years. And that's the worst moment for me, not even the sleep and dreams. Even the horrible dreams I don't have fear because I'm somehow always vigilant. And there is something always that moment in the morning, like I lose... it may be also the pattern that I will lose my Self in that moment, the only one. So thank you, thank you. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful that I can expose even these seeming small things, but are not small. Even if I have seen it a million times, I'm happy that I'm able spontaneously to expose it. I didn't know even that I would say it because there is always something like mine here, always also saying, 'That's a small thing, you don't have to speak about it, you can manage that, you have seen that.' But I'm happy instead of that voice, I'm exposing and I'm very happy. Thank you so much.

It's very... because you expose this voice, and this voice is saying, 'But you know, you're supposed to know this by now. How can you come to satsang and everybody watching and you saying, "Okay, this energy..." You know you are that.' Like this. So the voice is saying that, 'Don't expose yourself in this way.' So I'm very happy you can come like this. Nothing is small or big; it's just what it is, you see? You can just come and share openly in satsang like this. Very good. See, so if you can do like this, then I know that you are not building a spiritual ego, which is very good. Love you, love you so much, so much, so much. Thank you.

Namaste everyone on YouTube as well. Vivek says, 'Namaste Father. Due to working hours constraints, I am not able to join entire satsang live regularly. Yes, but I'm going through YouTube videos at night. Your ultimate three pointings are guiding me at every step beautifully. Big thanks. Hope with His will and your blessings I will be able to join satsang regularly.' If it's this that you want in your heart, then life will always make sure that some path is laid out for you. You don't have to worry about any of this. If there's clarity that freedom is all that I want, then let life take care of how it will arrange it for you.

Jerome says, 'Father, please can you say something about "private life"? Is it hiding some ego behind this, or is there any private that can be okay for a while too? Thanks for your wisdom and discrimination.' Okay, maybe you need to elaborate a little bit in terms of what we mean by private life. But you have an idea what we mean by private life? Private life could refer to our special relationships, our connections like that, or it could refer to some sort of life which is not in satsang. I'm not really sure. Maybe just... yeah, it could be the internal thoughts. Something could be the mind tripping the mind, like just tripping the mind, like stopping you from exposing the mind itself. And when just a projection to put it in the closet, yeah, there is a projection which comes up and it says, 'Oh, this we can deal with later. This is something that can... this is just hiding, right? Push under the carpet.' Happens to me so often, so often it comes up like this. There's this thing that I say, 'Come, let's confront this, let's see this, let's watch it, let's do it, let's do it.' It's that bit escapes. Yes, that just escapes. That's all I can think of. Yes, yes.

So he makes an important point, and this we should look at also. Not sure whether that is exactly what Jerome was talking about, but this is a good point. He says that once I say, 'Okay, I will be open and we'll look at everything,' there's still some sneaky stuff which says, 'Okay, but this is not satsang stuff. This is separate. Let's keep that aside,' you know? And you will come to this discovery that everything... there is nothing private from satsang. There is nothing personal. Like Bhakti said, does he mean personal life? Actually, we are getting rid of the person itself, see? It can be like that. Now, this doesn't mean that you will not be able to perform the roles. Consciousness will perform the roles.

We will be open and we'll look at everything. There's still some sneaky stuff which says, 'Okay, but this is not satsang stuff; this is separate, let's keep that aside,' you know? And you will come to this discovery that everything—there is nothing private from satsang. There is nothing personal. Like Bhakti said, does he mean personal life? Actually, we are getting rid of the person itself. See, it can be like that. Now, this doesn't mean that you will not be able to perform the roles. Consciousness will perform the roles that need to be performed—of partner, father, son, whatever roles are there, you see. So as long as it is clear that there is no person who is running the personal life, then there is no trouble with so-called personal life.

But if you feel that we have to be in satsang, the true one, and then when we go out of satsang, then I return back to the person to run my personal life, then that is not utilizing satsang completely. So then you see that there is no in and out of satsang, see? Just the form of expression of satsang changes. Then your entire life then becomes sat, and you find no reason to pick up the person, and yet personal roles can continue. And it will continue. I was telling them also that before satsang started, they were there outside the door and I just came back with my daughter and my son. We went to the school; there was some mistake where we picked up the wrong books for them, the wrong class, and then we had to go back. And so all that can continue, but none of it needs to become personal. That means none of it needs the person to be believed in. All of it is seen as just the flow of appearances.

See, otherwise very often I see the mind playing this trick where, when you're new to satsang, you will ask this question that, 'Okay, all this is okay for now and all is very easy in the presence of the Satguru and all, it's very easy, but what about the real world?' This question comes like this: 'What about the real world?' And I look at the question and I start laughing because the mind has been able to still convince you that that is the real world and this is some sort of a dream. As long as we are giving more reality to that which is personal, that which is just imagined, then the mind has still played a trick on you, isn't it? The imagined one has become the real one, or you are convinced that the imagined one is the real one, and this reality seems to be only valid during satsang.

Jerome says, 'Yes.' Jai Suguru. Actually, Suguru was explaining that is very good. Goyal says, 'Father, can you explain how to ignore recurring thought? Father, I know it is coming repetitively; it must be because of strong identity.'

Ignore recurring thought? The first thing is that you must not try to ignore. If it's recurring especially, then don't try to ignore it because the more you try to hide from something, the more it chases you. So if something is recurring, then you don't ignore it; you let it come. What is ignore? Ignore means to withdraw your attention from something that it should not appear. 'I'm just going to hide it; it's coming here, I'm hiding like this.' So this is what is ignoring. Now, if it is coming wherever you are chasing, whenever, wherever you are running, then you must say, 'Okay, which identity is this appealing to? Why is this meaningful for me? Which button is it pressing?'

Like in your case, we looked at this parent-child identity, isn't it? There something did not seem strong when it was appearing for yourselves, but when it comes from a parent, it still was feeling strong. So like this, then whatever the content might be, it must be something that's still getting some belief. So which identity is getting belief? Find out where that is. Who is the son? Where is the son? Is the body the son? Is the body concerned about what the parents are saying? Does the body get upset when the father is shouting? No. Who is this one? See? And as you inquire like this, then you will find that one more identity in the photo album of the ego has been dropped. One more section has been pulled out and thrown away.

Goyal said, 'Feeling so released. Thank you, Father. Love you.' I love you too, my dear. B says, 'There is just life, not satsang and private life / personal life / spiritual life. Just life.' Yes, not even my life. This is very good. Just life. Thank you, Atma, my dear. Thank you so much. Dana says, 'Doesn't Consciousness create privacy? So isn't the person who has the problem with privacy?'

Doesn't Consciousness create privacy? So isn't the person... any problem is personal, see? So let's put it like that very directly: all problems are just personal. Even the search for freedom, when it remains personal, becomes a big problem—the seeker identity.

Goyal says, 'But even if it is seen, the thoughts about identity still get believed again and again.'

No, if it is seen that that particular identity is not real, then you will find it more and more difficult actually to give it belief. Like before satsang, you can see that practically every thought which was flowing through your head was getting your belief, see? The photo album of identity was full. We had so many opinions about ourselves and others. Now you find that most of them have been cleaned up. Some little bit is left. It could be these worker identity or child identity or relationship identity. Some little bit is left in each of these buckets. Even that is getting thrown away. So don't first you don't believe that so much belief is going that you are stuck or something like this. Then you tell me what is here now which is stuck.

Trupti says, 'May there be no in and out from satsang anymore. May there be no in and out from satsang anymore. May the fire of satsang burn this idea, all ideas.' Very good, that's a beautiful prayer. All trouble is only because of our belief in the identity. All trouble. No matter what we say, no matter what the mind is saying, all trouble is only because of belief in identity. Goyal says, 'Thank you, Father. Did not want to expose it directly, the relationship identity, but you exposed it for me, Father. Thank you so much.' I don't know whether most of you say it or not, I know that the... I think we've lost for these... oh, he's back. No, I was just actually frozen.

So B says he has an errand to run, leaving now. 'Always keep me rested under your feet, beloved Father and Satguru.' Thank you, my dear. Beautiful, beautiful. Good. He says he has an errand to run.

Don't pick up anything for yourself. Don't let anything hide. What is the concept of myself which is still getting belief? Something... oh, it's frozen. Is it still frozen? Um, no, you were just quiet for a while and then right at the end of that it just froze a little bit. Um, sometimes when you're very quiet, people say it's frozen; they don't realize that you're just quiet.

My future. So the identity is which one? The one who can control the future? I have yet to meet such a one. This usually is a very strong part of the ego identity, which is doership, control. It still tries to push buttons, and this one is getting seriously dissolved, so it's fighting back full—the controller identity. And if you're used to trying to control the direction of where life is going, you know, trying to just think that this can be, this can be the strong... maybe all of us can see it.

So I think for me it's special relationships and also the feeling that, 'Why are they against me?' You know, it's so silly, right? And I can see it that it's just this feeling of maybe special people in my life are against me.

Very good order for inquiry. 'Special people in my life are against me.' First itself, 'against me.' This itself. So there's a sense of feeling victimized from those that are special. So victim identity again is a very popular identity. Specialness, you know? 'I feel I'm special. Why?' You know? So yes.

Specialty... I think victim and specialness almost go hand in hand. Hand in hand. Because when I have seen that I am special, why can't you just accept it? Just take my word for it. You realize sooner or later this is very good. It's been there, it's there, and I've been watching it and just not... there is belief. And what's really great is that I've been able to mostly be aware of it. This is... there's so much fertile ground for all kind of nonsense there because you can have grievances, you can have this thing, you can feel victimized, you can feel more arrogant. All this can happen just with this simple root idea: 'Why don't they get my specialness? What do I have to do? Do I have to now levitate?' So it's all yours, Father. Please take it away. I'm done with it.

See, some of these things are impossible to say. So if I say that you're truly special when you don't believe there's anything special, but if you hear it from the mind, then again that, 'I want to be that truly special.' I don't want to be, in fact. It's so fun. Like this morning as I was coming here, the light is so clear that there is nothing. It's just for a fraction, it's not a big deal, you know? Nothing. Actually, there is nothing. And then... so even specialness can't be in nothing. But what is the concept of specialness? Can you elaborate? What are you special about? What does the mind say you are special about?

Oh, 'I've done so much, I've achieved so much, I am the nicest person you'll ever meet,' you know? Um, 'I am the smartest person you'll ever meet. I have the answers for everything even if I don't know,' you know? Just... I mean, I think just falseness. And also, I think specialness and being a victim go hand in hand. You know, I don't think you know... so I think everything special is really coming from a place of maybe feeling like I'm a victim or something, I don't know.

Specialness about... and I think being in the satsang, being with you, has been really great because everything that I do points me to my unspecialness in a sense, you know? Of the ego, rather. Right? And it always rubs me. And doing seva rubs me, and watching how you react to other people rubs me, and everything, everything, everything rubs me, right? I mean, just... it's just constant. Like constant.

That was very strong. So everyone has a problem with how I react to other people. Being very honest, you know? Those are the things. And then my wife rubs me. I'm like, 'She thinks she's so special.' Then my mother-in-law rubs me thinking that she's so special, you know? It's just... it's just... waiting for her expression to change, but she's in some deeply meditated state. So it's just... it's just silly specialness. It's just the ego, Father. It's just the ego feeling that, you know what I am? It's just flapping its wings, you know? Just kind of... you can explore all this. I don't know what else to say, you know? Like, makes me wonder why you come here. Just those things just come up, you know? And it's okay. So what doesn't rub you? As you see, oh Father, when I'm in deep sleep. But that's a great thing, isn't it? Because life is rubbing, you know? It's just... it's just a rub. And that's what life is there for. And I've got to be able to take it.

So this one who can be rubbed now is getting dissolved. So it does not seem like... it can seem for a while that everything is attacking me, see? But it's good if it's coming like this because this is Grace. You are finding that, 'Okay, something seems to be getting attacked,' but this one also is a feeling that I can see the sense of separation also I can see. And this one who is witnessing this is completely unaffected, you see? Whether you come all the way, you take the trouble to come from Pune and you sit here and I don't even look once during satsang. You came from Delhi. 'What are you doing here?' Then we'll come to a place where all of this will be seen as part of the play, part of the Leela, the Divine mystery, and you will enjoy everything because when you have no expectations about anything, then everything seems so beautiful.

This 'me,' let it get... let it get... I'm open to it now. Because if you were not open, you would not be able to see at all in the first place. This 'me' itself will not let you come up in satsang and say this. So already when you're able to come up and say like this, and that too laughing and joking about it... yes, but I have this. Somebody, one of them in the hangout, they said, 'Father, right now I'm not liking you at the moment.' I said, 'What's not to like?'

Have no expectations about anything, then everything seems so beautiful. This 'me', let it get, let it get. I'm open to know, because if you were not open, you would not be able to see at all in the first place. This 'me' itself will not let you come up in satsang and say this. So already when you're able to come up and say like this and that, laughing and joking about... yes. But I have this... somebody, one of them in the Hangout, they said, 'Father, right now I'm not liking you at the moment.' I said, 'What's not to like?' But I enjoy very much when we can have these open conversations. You come to me not liking you; very sweet. Okay, there's a long message. Let's read that.

David said: Father, listening to you speaking at the beginning of satsang about not fighting back as a person. My professional work is focused around social justice, so it requires me to speak up and raise awareness about issues of a social nature that are affecting people and undermining their rights. I feel very free in this work and detached from outcomes, which is very good, which allows me to play the role that Grace has afforded me without feeling stressed or angry. Although temporarily these feelings may arise, they dissolve quickly as there is nothing to attach to. I think sometimes people may interpret that my actions are those of someone that is inwardly resisting life and reflective of a person picking up identity. But I feel and understand that myself as awareness resists nothing, and that my actions are coming from an intuitive place. I remember you saying yesterday in satsang, it is completely possible for life to continue without you picking up the identity. All roles can be played effortlessly without you picking up the identity. Seriously, this is how it feels for me. The role is being played but without the stress of the person. However, I do want to expose this fear that others think my actions are indicative of the person and contrary to the satsang face that I might be putting on, therefore not coming from a true place.

Very good, very good. So he feels that there's a sense of fear of how others in the satsang, others on Facebook, or other friends might be perceiving him because his job role consists of fighting against social injustice and things like this, and it might seem to them that he's coming from a personal place. So it's very good that you share this, that you feel that inside there is complete clarity that you are the untouched witnessing, and yet in the play of life, these roles seem to get played. This is completely fine. I remember here also, a few years ago, there was this big anti-corruption movement that happened here, India Against Corruption, and we participated. Kima and I went; we participated in the candlelight vigil and those sort of things. You see, it was not that awareness was being affected by corruption; it is just that something felt here to support a cause, which is fine. It's completely fine. So let people think what they want to think because we cannot fix that. Just if there's this clarity: I see I'm the untouched witness, yet in the flow of this life, something seems to be flowing there. It's completely fine, completely. Very good that you're able to expose this, because this is to see that this concern about what other people are thinking is very tricky. Because now you're saying, 'Okay, I don't believe my thoughts,' but you're still concerned about this one. So the same guy can very easily play from there and then push some. It's very good that you are able to expose like this and burn it in this fire of satsang. If we're not concerned about our own thoughts, then let's not be concerned at all about another's thoughts. It's very good.

Prasad said, 'If anyone refused to make space for me, please would be grateful.' And this one says, 'Father is playing hide-and-seek today.' Is it? Today, yesterday we had more internet; today seems more stable actually. Jyoti says, 'Namaste Ji. I heard partly yesterday's recording, just be nothing. I loved it, but it was hard. So used to putting on a gazillion roles.' Yes, but here is the trick, you see. All those gazillion roles will continue to be played whether you are pretending to become something or not. The mind says that unless you become this, unless you become the employee, unless you become the mother, unless you become the father, you will not do a good job of it. You will find that so much freedom and movement is there when we are taking away the identity, and yet actions are free to happen. Because as long as being is pretending to be any identity, then you cannot be free from suffering, because identity equals suffering.

Dina says, 'Don't take anything the mind says seriously because you're nobody. Who is the mind talking to?' And in yesterday's satsang, it was my favorite part actually, somebody typed in the Hangout chat, and this is my Father's quote, he says, 'Don't take yourself so seriously. You don't exist. You don't even exist.' Thank you, my dear. Jyoti says, 'Yes, while listening I was silenced and continue to be in it, hoping that I would carry it through the day, but totally failed.' It's never about the day; it's always about now. So the mind always tries to get you to do a post-mortem of the past, always carrying this thermometer saying, 'See, day before you were like this, yesterday you were like this, today you are like this.' Don't worry about any of this. Just come back to now. Just come back to now.

Amaya says, 'Father, noticing an idea of in full silence I will be missing the voice that guides from the heart.' Yes, intuition. The one that says, 'I'm out of the moment, am I aware now?' This is true. So in deep sleep, we don't even need this guide of intuition. We don't need the Satguru's guidance. So what happens is when the phenomenal existence or the sense of being comes into play, then Consciousness is aware of the possibility of belief in the personhood and the possibility of suffering. So Consciousness itself plays as this voice of intuition and the Satguru also, to remind you, 'Yes, yes, it was just a game. All of this is just a play of appearances.' See, when the play is not there, no phenomena exists, then even the voice does not exist. It's not required. So when you're in your natural state of being free from all identity, then nothing, not even the intuitive voice, we need to hear. There's no guidance which is really needed. It's only when we are suffering, we believed we picked up some identity, that we need to hear this voice which is pointing you back home.

David says, 'Thank you, Father.' Jyoti shared something beautiful about the courage of exposure burning the delusion. Very powerful process. We don't even realize many times initially that to just come up and share in satsang can be so suspicious. Amaya says that... okay, let's continue from that. It ended with the one that says, 'I am out of the moment, am I aware now?' Then she says, 'When responsibility overwhelm happens and my person is different than imposter's voice, which is easy not to believe. Not sure what I'm saying. One voice is not two, speaks to satsang, just ineloquently giving this to you in this conversation.' Then you say, 'Yes, the intuition voice happens within awareness. Just life helps life, just helps life. Life gets lived is the belief.' Yes, like when you were empty from Mooji, I told you, it told you, 'Eat something now.'

Yes, so we have discussed that there are two voices which are possible to hear, and both are qualitatively different. The voice of the mind or the voice of the ego, its mantra is 'What's in it for me?' It goes about life saying, 'Me, me, me, me, me.' Everything, it wants something, you see. So when you're listening to this voice, now you have the ability to smell this, smell this meanness about it, you see. Always grasping, wanting something. This is one voice, and this voice is the voice of separation. The more we believe this voice, the more we believe in our separate identity. The second voice, which is the voice of the heart, intuition, Satguru, Consciousness, being—whatever label you want to put on it—comes from a qualitatively different place. So when this speaks, then it is not asking for anything. It is surrounded by love and peace. It is not impatient. And this is the voice which is leading you to the understanding of what you are. As the voice of the mind is leading Consciousness itself into the belief in personhood, the voice of the Satguru, the voice of intuition, is driving the delusion away and bringing Consciousness to unassociated being.

See, so this is the reason why we have satsang, is that Consciousness is pretending to be a person, a separate identity. In creating this environment of satsang for itself, it is coming to its understanding of itself as an unassociated being. And as unassociated being, we cannot suffer. Thank you, my dear. Thank you. So says, 'Beloved is going to move to YouTube now. Thank you for satsang, beloved Father.' Thank you, Parvati. Thank you, s... love you. Thank you, my dear. Then Amaya says, 'There is a fear I realize I'm surrendering that in silence... there is a fear I realize I'm surrendering that in silence will be lonely. In silence I will be lonely without this Holy Spirit voice that has always been here.' Surrendering the fear of that. This voice will not leave you whenever it is needed. It is always there. Then there is silence, then there is no fear of any sort. When any fear comes, this voice will be available to hold your hand at all times.

Can I? You don't have a choice because you don't exist as Consciousness. Complete freedom in every instant. All of this is your play. So as being, as Consciousness, definitely you have the power of belief and to withdraw the belief. That's why I say that in this moment, irrespective of karma, irrespective of any other forces which might be at play, you have the choice right now to see what you are or to believe what your thought is saying. This is your ultimate choice, see. Amaya says, 'Some confusion that any voice means to hear. If I'm not a person, why is it needed? Doesn't Consciousness let it go?'

So what happens is that it's a show and we are playing a game and we are having a dream. Because Consciousness, maybe for enjoyment's sake, gave itself this power to pretend, this power of belief. And because it knew that it had this power, it also created another power called intuition. Okay? So when the belief becomes strong in personhood, the belief in delusion becomes strong, it knew that this potential exists within Consciousness. So the power of intuition was ready to say, 'Okay, too much belief, too much suffering is happening because of this pretending to be a person, so let me... it's time to wake up now.' It is Consciousness waking Consciousness up. All is part of the game. But ultimately, you must remember the perspective that none of this has ever really happened. For you as awareness, none of this has ever really happened. But even in the game, even in this game, even in this dream which is non-existent, you have created in your Supreme intelligence, you've created this mechanism where you can wake yourself up from this game, although the game can never really hurt you.

But even in the game, even this... there's so much confusion to pick up. Three days of not sleeping, all of that is blankness is happening. Just love, which is your absolute, and this love will prevail. I don't want to give that to... it'll do what prevails. Thank you, thank you, thank you for coming. Very helpful. Last three days so much has happened. I... so much, so much, so much, so much guilt, yeah, about my wife being upset. Yeah, that she thinks I'm going into some sort of own head, which doesn't actually affect me, which the mind uses to say, 'Why doesn't it affect you? Aren't you responsible for...?' So what am I chasing? Like I...

Yes, it can be this. This is very funny. Especially, it's so much more in India I've seen, which is so funny to me, because India has traditionally been the home for all of this spiritual discovery. And in India itself, we have so much of these family barriers. 'Oh, he's going to become a sadhu, he will stop taking care of family.' All this, all this plays out. So their expectations are so strong. And because in India everybody has experienced some sort of a religious conditioning or some sort of conditioning where they've seen people, maybe people...

Especially it's so much more in India I've seen, which is so funny to me because India has traditionally been the home for all of this spiritual discovery. And in India itself, we have so much of these family barriers. 'Oh, he's going to become a sadhu, he will stop taking care of family.' All this, all this plays out. So their expectations are so strong. And because in India everybody has experienced some sort of a religious conditioning or some sort of conditioning where they've seen people... maybe people feel cheated because they have tried to lend their faith to something and then that faith just leads them to disappointment, and then they shut down. And this is a good point also, because what has happened is that either there's complete skepticism or there's blind faith. That's the trouble. So either there is complete skepticism—'No, no, this Baba business'—or they find something, then immediately the mind wants to say, 'Yes, yes, this one is God' and there's blind faith.

That's why I say when you come here, first you do your full due diligence. No? Check what exploitation is happening, what is the way, you know, what is all of this. Whatever doubts can come—I don't even remember most of the time what kind of doubts can come—whatever comes, you must verify. And at least in this kind of satsang, we can say whatever you have, you are free to bring it in satsang and share it openly in front of everyone. That, 'I feel, Ananta, you did this, but you should have done this. I feel this is not right.' This space is given here. So if there was something which was trying to hide something or something... so what do people do when they try to manipulate people around them? They put some veil of sacredness or some authority or something so that people are too scared to ask, 'Why do you do it like this? Why don't you do it like this?'

So having been the receiving end a few times of these kind of things, I realize that makes sense. Why not be completely open? Because only a magician needs a veil, only a trickster needs a veil. So what is real does not need to hide behind any sort of tradition, authority, or some other sacred thing. So I hope and I pray to God that we can always have this sort of openness. Your wife also, she is welcome to come to satsang and say, 'Why is he now not focusing on his work so much? He let his family come to Bombay.' I would love for her to come and ask, and I can have a one-to-one conversation like this with her, and maybe something might happen.

She knows she won't prevail, so she'll hide. That's the problem. She knows that she sees me happier. She sees that she's seen me go through so many phases of life. In fact, a really funny thing happened. I'll tell you my biggest... I don't talk because I don't want to waste anybody's time, so that's something I don't like to do. But because all these stories have been going on and on, and there can be so many of them. And the funniest was I had dreams of this so-called master, and he called me and he... you know, in Punjabi, he would call me that you have to come. And I'd never seen this master in my life. Probably the mind picked up his image from somewhere. And I went to his mandir for two years, three years, repeated dreams because the mind completely picked it up. Now, when I went there, I went with absolute faith for myself, and it got me to you somehow, you know? So it came here.

Now my wife, she is going... she wants to go there now. She had resistance to that at that time. Now she's like, 'Let's go there. Why aren't we going there? You know, we should try that now.' So I don't know, that's all the mind. I can understand her perspective also a little bit. At least she got tuned a little bit over there and now she's saying... I also done that a few times too. So to her perspective, first you said this, then you said Ram, then you said that. I can understand that a little bit. Ultimately she's like, 'I love you.' She loves me. And ultimately I think that's that love which will... as long as I don't stop that love and she doesn't stop that love.

Be that. With your blessings, everything be that. Because if she loves you, then what she will want the most is for you to be happy. Initially, you know, in a special relationship it happens that we are walking together, so we must walk together. 'How can you be happier without me? Without me being as happy?' This kind of something the mind can play for everyone. It's very natural. So you don't have to police her and don't force her to say, 'Who am I?' from my own experience, because that is counterproductive. But you say that she loves me. If she loves you, then all this will pass. What she'll care about is whether you're happy or not. And she sees your presence. If she feels it, she feels so much lightness about it, she will come.

The biggest... and I don't know why we are talking, because it probably is something for her. So we came from absolutely different communities, had absolutely different social upbringing, everything was different, different, different. Then somehow she relied on me, and I enjoyed that reliance because I gave it a lot of air, that reliance itself. Now that she sees me finally... probably I was never standing up for myself, and for the first time in my life I'm probably standing up for myself. And I think that she thinks when she thinks that I'm standing up for myself, she feels like she's going to fall on her own.

So that's... but you're standing up for yourself in what way? Against her or not?

Just generally. Just generally. For example, it would have affected me otherwise if she would say something like, 'What is this? Why don't you...' So once or twice when she went to see Mooji... well, she went, she loved him very much. The presence was so light and she wanted to see him. So he came on a bike and she... yes, I saw this, I saw the photo. It was so beautiful, that whole experience was so beautiful. But now because she thinks that it was only an experience and now it's gone beyond an experience, so she thinks there is something wrong here. Like, is he trying to avoid life by going to satsang? So she says, 'Why don't you go to your satsang?' So I said, 'It's not my satsang.'

So that's what I say, and it's very natural for these things to happen. I remember like this also, I shared this story a few times. When I used to go to Ramesh, there's a point where it felt something was clearing up for me. So I asked him, 'So it's fine, I can relate, but how do I explain this to my wife?' And he said, 'Don't try to explain anything to her. Wait for her to come and ask you.' Because in such close relationships, we feel, 'Okay, I found some joy, I want to share it with my wife. I found this, you know, I discovered this teacher, he's very nice.' Then share it. So with these things, just knock gently. If you feel that nobody's opening the door, don't try to push it down. If you find openness is not there, because that becomes counterproductive when you are pushing.

Yes, in on a personality. Yeah, personality of personality, yes.

That sounds like a cult, actually. That's why they get scared. Because when you put on this personality, just the personality, then it becomes... then it's scary for others. 'What is he? He's become an evangelist for Ananta? What's going on?' So that starts to sound more and more like a cult. So when there's no openness, yes, silence is the best. She already had darshan from Mooji, so something will see there, something will open up.

Sure. I have no doubts about anything. Not with you, not with this love, not... they can't be. And everything is perfect. If it opens up, it opens up. If it doesn't open up, it doesn't open up. Everything Atma says, 'Yes, yes, Father. Can we see S please?' It's against the... hi, it's like it's a little lag. I think Atma... I still have to give Father a big, big hug from your side. I've given my hug, your hug is pending. And I told you the first time I see him, I'm going to give him so much love for you. Thank you, Atma, so much for this. Thank you.

So did you meet her in the... where is she? Bosnia? Where is she?

No, so she's in Bosnia. And there was a photo that she liked on Facebook, and there was Mooji's quote on that. And so I just asked and I inquired, and I really liked what she had written. So I started to speak to her and you connected as friends on Facebook. No, nothing, nothing. And somehow, normally there would not be that interaction, but that interaction just happened. And the minute that interaction happened, interestingly she told me... so I told her about my spiritual life. I said, 'Oh, you know, I've had these experiences, I've seen light, I've seen this, that, everything.' And she says, 'This is all...' She said, 'Throw it all away.'

So she... she just... that sounds like Atma.

She said, 'Throw it all away.' And that was the best whack I've ever got in my life. Best whack. She freed me to... I mean, she freed me from being at least seeking-free. And from that, a lot of acceptance came, a lot of acceptance for the self. And then you came, and then that's what happened. And Mooji I'd seen in... I think I'd seen him in some dreams, yeah. And I couldn't even understand him till I saw Atma and you. And then I see... then when I came back from Rishikesh, all I could see is everybody was the same, like you were everywhere, everywhere, everywhere. I did get a little arrogant when I came back because I would try and analyze people, because analysis would happen. But the only thing was that I would try and analyze them thinking that that's me. So I'd be like, 'Oh, I'm you now, let's see how you think,' which is bad, which is painful, pain.

Such a beautiful family. The one just backs to... at least if I could say that I've ever seen angels, I've seen angels. I really have. Thank you, Jyoti's family, for having me. Thank you. Parvati Ji has the same smile as you. Yeah, it's the same, same. There's no... I see Shikar there, always sending everybody's 'ooh,' like the love. It's like the 'ooh' of love. So much love being spread all the time. But I had such a good coincidence today. It was so beautiful. I was... I didn't know what to expect when I would come here, so there was no need to expect anything. I just saw Jyoti and I was like, 'Wow, is this true? Is this possible?' And it's so true. And we had such a nice chat coming here. I mean, it's beautiful. I wait to see you too on Wednesday when I see you. I really do. I want Father to come back now. This will be horrible that I keep doing this.

Father, can I speak to you for two minutes? Yeah, of course. Father, I'm just... I'm just tired of playing this game. I don't want to play it anymore. I'm done with it, Father. I can't do it anymore. I just can't do it anymore, Father.

Very good, very good. So now you stop. You see, 'I'm done with this game.' So right now you stop. Whatever the game is promising you, saying, 'Come, come, play, play,' you don't go. This is the same around. So what is happening is that the sales agents for this game will come as thoughts and they say, 'Come, come, play, this is nice, this is nice.' You say no. When someone comes like this and says, 'I'm completely tired,' for me that is actually wonderful news. Because if you come to satsang completely tired of the game, the best, the best. But if you feel that satsang is also part of the game—'Satsang will help make my life better, satsang will make me a better person'—then all that also satsang has to work through and dissolve.

So like you say, and like so also said earlier, 'I don't care, I'm done with this game. I don't care what happens to me. I don't care, Father, it's all your problem now. I can't deal with it anymore.' Let's take it. So give this 'it' to me and also give the 'I' to me. It's all yours. The 'I' who cannot take it also is mine. Don't pick it up now. You give me all the concepts of 'I,' all the various forms of 'I,' then nothing will trouble you. If something troubles you, then you can use that as an opportunity to see which is the 'I' which I have not surrendered in satsang. Is there an 'I' like that? Is there still an 'I' which wants something or doesn't want something? This 'I' also you must give to me. Is there an 'I' with any expectations of any sort? That 'I' also you must give to me. To all of you I'm saying, these gifts you can give me.

Don't pick it up now. If you give me all the concepts of 'I', all the various forms of 'I', then nothing will trouble you. If something troubles you, then you can use that as an opportunity to see: which is the 'I' which I have not surrendered? In satsang, is there an 'I' like that? Is there still an 'I' which wants something or doesn't want something? This 'I' also you must give to me. Is there an 'I' with any expectations of any sort? That 'I' also you must give to me. To all of you, I'm saying these gifts you can give. Give me all your expectations, all your identities, all the concepts. And if you make the prayer, 'I'm giving everything to you,' then you can be sure that that which still gets held onto will cause you a pinch. It will cause you some poking so that you can see, 'Oh, I'm still here.' And then that also can be surrendered, can be given up. So when the poking comes, when the pinch comes, then we must not feel that it is a bad thing. It is just something calling your attention, saying, 'I'm still here. This identity is still here.' Are you willing to be completely without anything? No concept of yourselves? So, where were we asking? As Jay said, his biggest concept was specialness. Was it you, Su? What so many? And what is the number one? Is there a number one?

Right. Was that control guy? Controlling the future? Controlling the future or the environment or something? The heat, or something biting, replicating more? So soon there'll be monkeys and you know, something about just like a 'me' that has a future. It's just the 'me' that has a future. It's that sort of... and so I'll just...

Okay, so let's look at him now. This 'me' that has the future, where is it? It'll just come as what? It'll come as money?

Okay, so the money thing. Suppose no money, nothing. Then how does it come? This identity comes how? So it'll come... it's really lost so much power the last week. I've just been like so immersed. It'll come around like the idea of a future, because there's no plan. And I know there's never a plan, but there's really no plan, like at all. Like not even... there's just no... and so it'll just start... I can't find words. It'll come and say like, 'I could, for example, say back in Arizona, let's make what are some ideas what I can do for money? And how long am I going to be there? Then what about I already have like release here? What about that?' And then not just like... then it's just... and so it comes like that. But then I can see it and just... so it doesn't have so much.

Yes, it tries to give. But also the one who gives it to Grace, this one also I want to find. This one also, 'I see it and I give it to Grace.' It seems part of a standard operating manual or something. This one also, is it hiding behind this one? So let Grace take whatever it wants for itself. You don't even give anything. That is not for you to do. Sometimes for you, there can be this one which is worried about, 'Did I say it correctly? What is he hearing?' All this can come. Maybe later this one also... you know, very long ago actually, when we first also started interacting, she's telling me, 'How come I can never say the right things when I'm speaking to you? Why does it seem like every word I'm saying is just something?' So this one that is concerned about that as well. So let all actions also be my actions. Let all plans or no plans also be mine. So like this, we can keep smelling for any concept, any belief. It can come very subtly. It can come, 'Maybe I should say like this or say like that.' Even this one, it's like a subconscious self-consciousness. That's also not original to you. It's also conditioning. Just don't know anything. Don't know anything. Be completely fresh in this one. If you forget completely where you are, who I am, what you're doing here, it's fine. Don't carry anything. This question is a very primitive one. It's a very primal one also. So, 'What is going to happen to me?' For survival. Survival instinct is a very primal one. We cannot carry it to freedom. I forgot everything. Everything must... no, no, no, not that. So yes, yes, this is very good you say like this. So you must identify the concepts which are dear to you. See, so we won't even ask what is it that you're believing about yourself. Let's also look at the concepts which are dear to you, and even those must be thrown into the fire. Name a concept which is dear to you.

Very cute. He says, 'Okay, take everything. Yeah, please still eat organic food.' Like that. Everything.

Very powerful too. I don't think he said that to me. I didn't... went back time saying it. The years, really, it's amazing. I didn't resist. It just doesn't make sense. You hear initially, you know he's speaking the truth, Master is speaking the truth, and it seems like, 'Yes, yes, this is good.' But there's a time where it comes where it clicks. You know, something just clicks and fits into place. So this is what it wants. So this can happen. Okay, so let's check here also. First, who wants to expose a concept which is dear to them and they're not willing to give it up?

Living a comfortable life.

Living a comfortable life. Good. You want Jay-style light? Help, and to help people. Dear concept. Okay. Families, family attachments. What else? In the hangout, lots of typing. Radhika said, 'I'm giving everything to you, so no concept, no nothing which is still dear as a concept to you. Everything is given.' Oh, can't speak? Okay, you can type it. Had said, 'Namaste Father, just wanted to expose that mind is saying that Father always says music to my ears all the time.' Do I say it all the time? Just wanted to expose, don't want anything to be hidden. Whatever the mind, ego says, you know. Yeah, even if I said it all the time, it's okay. Mind can look for... it's very good you expose like this. It's exposing that the mind can find any reason to have a grievance. 'What kind of teacher is he? He's always saying music to my ears.' Very good. Says, 'I give you everything, especially the concerns and worries for my son.' Very good. You? The concept 'I'm not getting it.' 'I'm not getting it' is a dear concept. Yes, enlightenment is a concept. Yes, enlightenment is a concept. That's what brought us here. Yes. And when you, as you are saying, can you find that you can be free of them?

I want to be free of them. Yeah. And yeah, I mean, it's a concept. Yeah.

So when you already... when you say it's a concept, it means it's not original to you now.

Yeah, so I can believe it, but it's not me. Yeah, so belief can go. But I'm still separated and I can watch it. And at times there's strong belief that I'm not getting it.

Yeah, but then I realize that, okay, who's the one not getting it? That's a concept. I feel this also we must look at. This 'I'm not getting it.' This sense that 'I'm not getting it.' Anyone else here feels that way? 'I'm not getting it.' Let's be honest. Still saying 'I'm not getting it.' Okay, who else? Me too? Not sure that I'm getting it. Parvati is saying 'I'm not getting it.' Okay. Radhika is saying 'I'm not getting it.' I should ask, who's getting it? The voice? That's also a problem. Okay, so like, can we define it? No, seriously. It is a concept of freedom. What does the concept say? The concept says that, you know, it's the conditioning of freedom which is enlightenment and bliss and happiness and, you know, me just permeating joy. It's just those kind of, you know, the whole concept. And also the fact... so that's one part. The other is uninterrupted peace. Uninterrupted, you know, just constant. Anyone tries with that? Or I feel we should look at it again because this can be the cause of a lot of frustration. So again we look, we spend a little time on this because I feel it's very important. So let me start again by explaining what... so this getting it, not getting it is directly related with the again, the point of satsang. What is the point of satsang? If there is nothing to get or nothing to do, then what is satsang for? So there are various perspectives. And from the ultimate perspective, as awareness, clearly there's nothing to get because you already are. Now, all of you, even the ones who are saying that 'I'm not getting it,' can clearly see that as awareness I remain untouched irrespective of whatever else is moving. As awareness, I'm completely untouched, you see? So for awareness, even there is no point to satsang. Let's be clear about this. For the absolute truth, for the ultimate truth of what you are, nothing in the appearance has any point, including satsang. Okay? Now, the second perspective is the person perspective. And in satsang it is said the person doesn't exist. If the person doesn't exist, then what is the point? There's no point. The person doesn't exist; it's just a figment of imagination. So what is all this for then? Why are we doing all of this? What's the point? It's a very valid question, right? So person doesn't exist. So there was awareness we talked about, the person we've talked about. For both of these, there's no point to satsang, you see? The point only is for being. The point only is for you as Consciousness, as being. Because you as being have the power of belief. And you have already seen that it is using this power of belief that you have brought this person into existence. The pure unassociated sense 'I am' was there, which you call the Atma. This was there. And then this thought, some energy came which said, 'I am this person. I am the body. I am the mind.' And if this is not believed, then being remains unassociated, is not deluding itself, is not pretending to be a person. So the whole point of satsang is that this being, which is deluding itself and believing that it is personal, it has become a person and leading the life of a person—this misconception, this delusion is getting dropped. And being is bringing itself back into the unassociated, untouched being, not contaminated with any identity. So that is the entire point of satsang. It is for Consciousness to free itself from the person idea, to free itself from ego, and to bring itself into the clear, clear understanding that it is unassociated, not pretending to be anything phenomenal. And this satsang is doing irrespective of whatever else the mind might be saying. This automatically is happening in that. So many identities, so many concepts, all of those seem to be falling away. But some dregs of identity seem to have been very strong, so they tend to... the mind tries to fight back using those. And the seeker also becomes a strong part of the identity itself. So being pretending to be a seeker, and the seeker wants a glorious ending to its story. 'I must end with a halo on my head, otherwise it's not worth it.' Like that. It's not happy if I say, 'No, nothing. You're that only. This is the end.' See? So again we see that this is also identity. Same thing with all other identities. There is some expectation of some meaning to come from this sense of identity. So unless we are clear about our willingness to not identify, our willingness to drop belief in all identities no matter what it might be, this will not give us the freedom from suffering. It will not give us the impenetrable peace that you are speaking of. The entire point of satsang is to go from deluded being to unassociated being.

But at any time it can be done?

Yes, my dear. In this moment, if you're not believing your next thought, that is exactly what is being done.

So... because that's the thing that gets me every time. It's like, on the one hand, this is the goal: to always be unassociated being. And then on the other hand, that it can never happen because the ego can never be dropped. So these two things are fighting each other. The unassociated being has momentary lapses of personal, which becomes excruciating.

But if it's momentary, then it's not excruciating.

I don't know, Father, like they become excruciating. Coming up again, which is that if being could not get unassociated, then I would agree with you that satsang has no point. Not that you're saying that now, but I'm saying that if the mind is saying that it has no point, then I would agree with that. But it is... yeah, but not in a... I'm not in a mind attack. It's... and I don't have that like despair of 'there's no point' because, you know, there is a point and the...

It's excruciating. I don't know, Father, like they become excruciating. Coming up again, which is that if being could not get unassociated, then I would agree with you that satsang has no point. Not that you're saying that now, but I'm saying that if the mind is saying that it has no point, then I would agree with that. But it is... yeah, but not in a mind attack. It's um... and I don't have that like despair of 'there's no point' because, you know, there is a point. And the point is the suffering goes away and only it's replaced by peace and beauty, love. So of course there's the point, you know? But it just feels to me like the ego doesn't go away. So to constantly say that, you know, this is what we're doing because we will come to a point where it's—and take your pick—it's abiding, you are in a state of unassociated being, you are enlightened, blah blah, all you know, pick whichever one you like. You know, that's the sell. You know, I work in advertising, so you go like, 'This is the sell of being in satsang.' And then it's incredibly frustrating when you see that that's not going to happen.

So let's start from what you said. You said, yes, the point thing is to experience love and joy. And you already know that peace, love, and joy are serving the unassociated being. So actually, we are saying the same thing, where I'm saying that it is completely possible in the right now for being to be unassociated, you see? So whenever anyone says 'always,' I always have a bone to pick, isn't it? I say it's not about the always; it's about the right now. Yeah? So in the right now, it is completely possible for being to not be associated. And also, I've said the simplest way to do this is not to believe your next thought. So we aren't selling any state which you can get to; we are always saying right now you are at, but you have the power to pretend. You have the power to believe you are an identity, or you can see what you are in this moment right now.

So what's basically elimination of singularity? Elimination of singularity... you have to define that for me.

What is singularity?

Meaning that singularity... meaning everybody thinking of themselves as you said, ego. Everyone has their own singularity.

So actually, the way we use the word singularity would mean the Advaitic way, which would mean that all is one. Yes. But the way you are saying singularity is the sense of separation: that 'I am separate, I am one which is away from another.' Yes, there is one and there is another. Yes. So the point of satsang is to see that you are not this separate one. The separate one was always just imagined.

So would that be like in... they said Turiya, the fourth one?

Like yes, but Turiya is just a state, you see? The point here is to discover that which is the witness of this state and the other three states. So who witnesses waking, dream, sleep, and Turiya? Okay? That is what you are. Okay? You see? So then, because if it becomes about clamoring for a particular state, then it again becomes trouble. No state comes and stays. All states are coming and going; otherwise, it will not be called a state. Yes. Now, the problem with spiritual experiences or states is that it becomes an expectation that that is freedom. So, 'If I'm in Turiya, then I'm free.' See? But we cannot find the one who is bound even now. Even in the waking state, can we find the one who wants freedom also? You see that this one was just imagined.

So immediately, many times if you're new to satsang... but you obviously have done some spiritual contemplation, so you aren't new to satsang. But usually, when people are fresh, they will say, 'But I'm this body.' You see? This body. And then I say, 'Then okay, you had a fight with your partner yesterday. Was the body concerned about that? The partner and how she or he was behaving? Wasn't the body? Day before, you were concerned about the amount of money in the bank account. You know, was it the body that was concerned about money in the bank account?' Then you say the day before that you were concerned about how your manager was talking to you. Was it the body which is concerned? So although when put under the spotlight, we revert very quickly to say, 'But I'm body-identified,' fact is we don't lead our life as if we are body-identified. We are more leading in terms of relationships, security for our concept of ourselves. We try to find: who is this one who has relationships? Who is this one who is concerned about security? Then can we find this one? And you will come to this conclusion that this one is of concepts. These are just concepts which have been picked up along the way. There is no entity on which these concepts rest. So this entity we just presume, that is called the ego.

So just this is a simple inquiry: Who am I? You can find that there is no ego; there is no separate entity here. You find that, okay, this appearance is here, either the outside world or the inside world with the objects of thought, memories, imagination. All these objects are coming and going. What am I? I seem to be just this pure witness to all of this which is coming and going. So, and this witness is not concerned about what state, what appearance, you know? None of it really has any concern for it. So when you find that this ego was just imagined, and then I check, I always see that I am this pure witnessing itself, then you'll find that you'll come to this discovery of what you are. So although you still retain the power to believe or not believe, which is the power to pretend or not pretend to be a person, you will never have the same conviction that you had earlier. Once you really have seen that the sun comes from the east, although momentarily you might revert back to your belief that the sun comes from the west, actually you cannot truly be convinced about it. And more and more as we check, more and more you check that the sun comes from the east, then you'll find that the amount of belief going in the misidentification reduces more and more. See? And but don't fall for the 100%, because the mind comes and says, 'Then it should become 100%.' See? 'If I've seen the truth, if I'm free, then it should be 100%.' There is nobody ever who is 100%.

So for some this can sound frustrating. Then what's the point if it's never 100%? Yeah, that was my second question.

So some for can be frustrating. If it's not 100%, then what's the point? With that 99.99, 98% is very valuable because it means that when you're not pretending to be a person 99.99, 98% of the time, you have not got the ability to suffer. Because all suffering is personal; all suffering is egoic. So we cannot carry the ego and be free from suffering at the same time. That's what the mind actually wants. 'No, no, no, the point of this should be that I should be now free from suffering.' This one cannot be. This one itself is the imagined one. You see? Very happy to see you in satsang.

Thank you. I'm happy to be here. So thought I think that comes up, and I'm saying this and I know I watch all of this also, Father, is that okay, so I'm not the person, I'm Consciousness. So now what? Right? So the leap is... it seems like such a small leap. Yes, right? Um, so then how are things different? Yeah, right? And I know that that's just also again just the mind kind of asking this question. So it is the person saying, 'I'm not the person, now what?' Yeah, 'I'm Consciousness, now what?' Right?

Yes, but that is still the person saying.

Exactly, exactly. Yes, yes. So that's a thought that comes up at times and you kind of go on that path.

So the question then is: Now what for who? For the person? If the person's asking, yes, but you already see that the person doesn't exist, right? So then, now what for who exactly? So it can be another concept which is discarded. As long as we are buying any of these concepts, then it is bound to lead... it is bound to lead to some...

I think just... I think is that the buying happens and it's a part of daily... I mean, you know, in a day, I think that you think of let's say, you know, 100 things and you buy 40, 50 of them. 50 you can just say, 'Okay fine, you know, I don't believe this.' But I'm still buying or paying attention to 40 of them or 50 of them. I can see and I can observe that the attention is a lot less than what it was, but the buying is still happening and the mind is still questioning and saying, 'You know, what are you doing?' right? In a sense, that's what the mind is just kind of... and I see that's all the mind just kind of...

That's why I said that we don't have to become in this state where we are constantly saying, 'Am I buying? Am I buying? Am I not buying?' Not like this. Because life is showing us in any moment when there is some bitter taste in the mouth, then you know you picked up something. See? So life is already showing us. So we don't need to constantly have our radar up and saying, 'I'm free or not free.' Nothing like this. It's just that when I say you lose the ability to fear, ability to suffer, what happens is that a bit of this bitter taste starts coming. Very quickly you can bring it into the inquiry and say, 'What have I bought?' and it gets dropped. There is nothing which will not get dropped.

What do we do when a good state is picked up? Then what do we... how do we use that? When a good state is picked up in the sense the mind is saying, 'Oh, this is very good,' right? I'll talk about myself, I can't talk about anything else. Like when I asked that question, when I asked you this earlier, when I say, 'Am I aware enough?' yes, the minute that happens, everything drops. Yes. Then what happens is that I start feeling a lot of energy come up and down and up and down, and then the mind starts to pick that up because it wants to experience that further and further. Then it starts to even use that state. I mean, it wants to just go higher and higher and higher and higher. How does one use that for inquiry? Because then it becomes frustrating that... I mean, you keep looking at it, you keep watching it, and you keep watching it, and you're still watching it, but it gets picked up in a way where, you know, you start to... because it's feeling good, you start going higher with it. How do we use that for...

So the instant this feeling comes, or this is getting picked up—because before that feeling comes that this is getting picked up, nothing anyway, right? The minute the feeling comes, 'Oh, this is getting picked up and this might lead to some spiritual ego or some whatever,' then you can use it for your inquiry and say, 'Okay, this state is arising. How is it touching me? Who is the I who is experiencing this wonderful state?' See? And again, you will come to this seeing that I am just the pure seeing which is unconcerned even with this state. But we don't have to become very constricted like this. Just simply use this. When there's a bitter taste where something seems to pinch you, then just inquire and see: what is the belief that I have picked up?

I had a very basic question to ask. So what is... what is basically the aim of life? You might not be happy with my answer, but I have to... no, because what's the goal in life? Everybody, everybody has their individual goals, right? Supposedly. But I'm... so you're asking from that perspective?

No, I'm asking as like, as you said, in unity, right? So what is the goal in life?

So from the... there are three perspectives, let me say, isn't it? From the personal perspective, because the person is just a figment of imagination, all goals are just make-believe, just pretend. Then what is the purpose of Consciousness to Consciousness? Yes. Now, there are two or three various explanations for this. You take your pick, whatever suits you the best. My favorite explanation is entertainment, Leela. The Leela was made so that there's something, some drama going on, and some entertainment happens. See? The other most... the most popular one is that it's only in deep sleep can you experience love. It's only in the presence of being that these feelings of peace, joy, love, all these states can come, these energies can come. So to experience yourself in this beautiful love, peace, and joy is a very popular explanation. So if that appeals, you can take that one. The third one is Samadhi.

The Leela was made so that there's something, some drama going on and some entertainment happening. You see, the other most popular explanation is that it's only in deep sleep can you experience love. It's only in the presence of being there these feelings of peace, joy, love—all these states can come; these energies can come. So, to experience yourself in this beautiful love, peace, and joy is a very popular explanation. So, if that appeals, you can take that one.

The third one is something which doesn't resonate with me at all, but for some it resonates because it seems to give it some sense of purpose, which is that it's a way of evolution of awareness to learn about itself through transcending all that is false. So, the ultimate... but this has to be an insight because no mind can fathom this. Whatever you feel most resonance with in your heart, that you can start contemplating and seeing whether it makes sense. For me, it's the entertainment. Entertainment it must be, you see, because I don't feel that as awareness I even feel that there is a need for experiencing any love or something. But that way you can say, what is the need for experiencing entertainment?

Ultimately, we must come to this conclusion that none of this has ever actually happened. Just like a dream never happened, but it didn't even happen as a dream. But this cannot be understood here. Let's just... wow, there's a lot of chat. I see, I see. Because we are exposing the concepts, I forgot about that. Okay, I have no idea where I left it. You want to guide me a little bit, Parvati Ji, on where I am? What's going on actually?

Um, Jani wanted to clarify something in one of the questions that came up for her, so maybe she can go. Okay, thank you. Namaste. Thanks, Parvati Ji. Namaste, Father. I apologize if any of this is repetition.

It's all repetition. Sorry.

Oh, this always happens. It seems like this 'I' that wants to make it always is just... it's just a person that can want to make this always. So this person wants to make it always, and then the emptiness becomes something. But this emptiness and fullness and contraction actually doesn't make any difference, right? Because the emptiness or the fullness or the contraction is still seen. And I know that you probably just covered that, but somehow just talking it out through you, it's good like this.

But we must say from which perspective it doesn't matter. So, from awareness's perspective, it doesn't matter, doesn't matter, doesn't matter. So, what is really is that from Consciousness's perspective, from being's perspective, being is either believing itself to be personal or it's not believing itself to be personal. That's all that's happening from being's perspective. Irrespective of whether all of this is happening or not, from the ultimate perspective—awareness—it doesn't matter. Yes.

But the trouble that seems to be coming is because we keep saying, 'Oh, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter,' then it's like, so then what is going on? You know, how can you say that all this is happening and yet it doesn't matter? So it seems like it becomes confusing. So it's good to clarify that when we see that I am this pure witnessing all the appearances coming and going, then no appearance matters. Yes.

Put on the hat of being, and I put God's hat on. God has the power to pretend or not to pretend. Because if it didn't matter to God, then God would not create this satsang environment at all. If the delusion of personhood was okay forever, then we would never create this satsang environment at all. So there must be something which says, 'Okay, enough of this game of personhood. I want to free myself from this game of personhood in the moment right now.' So when I say don't become anything, don't identify, don't associate, it's all for the now. And you see, it is completely possible for you to be unidentified.

So awareness was never identified anyway. Which picked up the identification and now is dropping? The level confusion can come only like this: when we confuse awareness and Consciousness. For awareness, it never matters. We can, like we say, millions of lifetimes of complete identification can happen, but nothing happens to awareness. But it is Consciousness itself which is saying, 'Okay, tired of this game, time to go to sleep.' So how do I turn the game off? By refusing to identify.

This is where... because it's also seen, I don't even know how to even really articulate this, Father, that like—and I have spoken to you about this before—like the one who chooses to believe and not believe is also phenomenal. And when everything... it's almost like the part each time—and I'm sorry if you've just said this, but it's kind of hard—the more it's seen that this is just a dream and that it doesn't matter, then the belief is suspended and the emptiness seems to be the byproduct of that seeing. Does that make sense? That the more and more it is seen that all of this is just in the appearance, then you can find to give belief in the person idea becomes more and more difficult. The emptiness is always just the emptiness itself. If you're referring to the emptiness which is the non-association of being, then yes, I know what it... yes.

Yeah, that's what I'm referring to. That's what I'm referring to. Yes. So, don't hold on to any of these identities.

Yeah, but it's like it all kind of happens by itself, almost as a byproduct of grace and the seeing that hold of that belief. Because the reason I'm bringing it is because what happens here is the person which comes often tries very hard. It's like this trying to get it; it's all total delusion trying to get it right. But the more... I don't know, I actually don't even know what I'm really clarifying, but because I feel there is some level of confusion because of this level confusion.

So let's be clear about when we say person. We are talking about just this mental energy of thought, bundle of thoughts and like memories, imagination. That's all that we mean when we say person. We say that the person can do this, not do this, is completely impossible because it's just a bundle of energy. Yes. Then at the second level is the presence or beingness or Atma or Consciousness, whatever word you want to use. And it is this light, the presence of which this entire phenomenal play happens.

So when I ask the question, 'Can you stop being now?' this is what you find: the presence of this being. And when this being is born, we see that along with it are born so many energies, forces like attention, belief, love, joy—all this comes in the presence of this one. Still, the person is not born. Person is just another energetic appearance. So we find that this being has the powers of attention, belief, identity always. And this being, giving this power of attention and belief to these thoughts, started to believe that it is a person.

The point of satsang is that this delusion, this misidentification, is getting cleaned up by the exploration. Our inquiry brings us to the conclusion that this person was just fiction, just imagined. There is a presence of being here. I am the witness even of this presence of being. So this was the second level, the being. The third is the absolute perspective, unmoving, unmoved perspective of pure awareness, pure witnessing, which is unconcerned with any of this play.

So when we are speaking, and maybe when I am speaking also, I need to say, 'Okay, now I'm saying from the perspective of awareness; now I'm saying from the perspective of being.' And this is what the person's voice could be saying. These are the three levels at which we can speak, isn't it? So when we say nothing really matters, then when somebody has the perspective of being identified as a person, it sounds like an attack. 'What do you mean nothing really matters?' Because for me, things are mattering right now, you see? So you are speaking from awareness's perspective and another is from the perspective of Consciousness which is mixed up with the personal belief. And this is why most arguments also happen on Facebook about Advaita, that one is speaking as Consciousness and another one is coming and saying, 'No, all this is nothing, it doesn't matter.' The other person wants to, you know, come over there and go through the screen and give them a slap or something.

What do you mean, Father? There's no... it's that that seems very clear here, Father, those three levels. It seems that way. It was more like... it just feels like the more things just collapse and it's seen like nothing is happening, the more things become more unassociated. Does that make any... I don't even know if that makes sense. It's like it gets... this is what I like. The more it's seen that it's just a dream, like nothing is happening, the more the experience of this—and I don't really know how to—the experience is more empty. It's more like it's less... then it feels like then it's less... there's like it's unassociated. Does that make any sense?

Yes. But so when there's more it is seen that all of this is just a play of appearances, then witnessing remains unchanged as it was earlier, but being is more... it seems less associated. Exactly. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

And I guess what it's like... then what I'm... then it's like, so the whole... because it's like in satsang those collapses seem to be... those collapses, if I for lack of a better word, it's just like nothing, nothing, nothing. Not that that could even be a collapse because it's just an experience within itself. They seem to do the work, if there's any work to do.

Yes. In the presence of satsang itself, in the presence of the unassociated being in this realm also, it plays like this: that in the presence of unassociated being, beingness itself automatically starts to disassociate with all the personal identities, you see. So therefore, one might come to satsang and you might feel that you don't know a word of English and all of it is just gobbledygook, and still you sat here a couple of hours. When you're leaving, you're saying, 'I feel so light.' Anytime you say, 'I feel so light,' it's like some burden got taken off. What is the burden? Some identity, on its own, with the presence of the fire of satsang, burnt and more space was created.

I don't actually know why I'm talking this out with you, Father, but it's something that's kind of wanting to be spoken out. This... I don't actually know how to... I don't know. It's... I don't really...

It's good. It's very good because I love these contemplations. Very, very good. See, because what can really happen here is that it's very subtle how the idea can sneak in of, 'Okay, now let's hold on to emptiness,' as if that's now a personal salvation. But then that's another subtle doing that creeps in, and that's kind of why it becomes then another solution in inverted commas. And that's the kind of level confusion again. You see, 'Do this, am I aware now?' can never be answered differently. So this emptiness which we speak of, this non-phenomenality which we are, this we cannot lose. So there is truly nothing to hold on to. Yes.

So that's the confusion, you see. So that which doesn't need any holding on to, the mind says, 'Okay, you must hold on to that.' That which is just imagined, it believes that it says that, 'Oh, one must...' That which needs constant reinforcement with belief, it says, 'You are that.' And that which cannot go anywhere, it says that you must hold on to it. The imagined one must hold on to the real one.

And it seems that again and again and again, that's what I seem to keep... that's what I keep bringing here. That how that slips, slips, slips. That's the concept that kind of like...

And what happens is that in satsang or outside satsang, check whether you're open to asking yourself, 'Who am I speaking as?' Yes. Because the first trick the mind will play is make you closed to this question itself. If you're open to asking, 'Who am I speaking as?' right?

He imagined one must hold on to the real one, and it seems that again and again and again, that's what I seem to keep—that's what I keep bringing here. How that slips, slips, slips. That's the concept. And what happens is that in satsang or outside satsang, check whether you're open to asking yourself: 'Who am I speaking as?' Because the first trick the mind will play is to make you close to this question itself. If you're open to asking 'Who am I speaking as right now?' then you know that the mind trick is not succeeding. Yes, Father, great resistance and you just don't care. 'I don't care who I'm speaking as.' Then it is sort of but unbelief. Yes, oh thank you so much, thank you so much. Ah, thank you. No, say not say, just watch. I know the person's voice in any situation. That's kind of like, okay, you know, we're freaking out. What's the being's voice? The being's voice is the voice of intuition. The being's voice is Grace itself. See, because ultimately even the mind's voice comes from being itself, but it just put on the mask of this person. The one which is not pretending to be the person is the voice of the Satguru; it is the voice of intuition.

I didn't know how, and so I don't know. I know it's just when I'm just like you ask 'Where now?' and all of that just goes away. I don't want to hide it and I don't want to like, oh, it doesn't matter. It's just—it's scary. It's just—but it's the... I didn't realize how much there was still. I don't even—I can't really necessarily so much so around... so much is... I don't know. I just... that you... but it's around the form and the body. Not just like the health of the body, that's been that for a long time. Eating right, multivitamins and supplements and like health issues, so you know. And then that's been playing out here too, like just so much preoccupation around that. And it's been here. Um, but it's also just like there used to be so much preoccupation around like the appearance and the form. And while so much of that has fallen away, if you see, there's still something that's like afraid of... I don't know how to actually describe it. It's not like it's a conscious fear, like just letting go of my appearance, but there's something that's like... like there's still a little bit of something with that. What's happened to you just like let go of your something? And I don't feel that that gets... but I don't know. I just... there's some fear of how you appear in the form. It should—you should appear a certain way. It's something is still like... I can't say I'm like walking around being concerned how I appear necessarily. I don't feel so much concern about that, but there's still... it's been so predominant here in this life, just the appearance. And I don't know what still... that just came up so strong and yeah, I don't know. I really don't know. And I just don't want to because it hasn't felt like... but has been... yeah, really the ceiling guys. Oh, can you believe it? I don't know. Bhakti, it's good, it's good. You can just throw it away.

Father, may I share again something please? Can I? Yes. Um, just again, the whole time of this satsang today, like, subtle energy is playing here, very subtle. And now I just... can you hear me, Father? May I share again something? One second, it's better. Have you heard what I said? Yes, my... there are still some energies with... yes, yes. And I just want to... suddenly, suddenly, the realization inside now was... I want to just say thank you for satsangs because it was clearly seeing suddenly how just to be in the presence of the unassociated being, you, it's... it's just like so many years of delusion can be just dissolved in one second. One second. I felt it from inside that what I can... I'm searching or someone can search for years hoping it can be seen and dropped in one second. That is the power of satsang. And I just want to tell, to thank you for this. I don't know even how to express it. It just was sudden seeing. Thank you.

Yes, thank you. Absolutely. Thank you so much.

Father, can I speak for two minutes? Father, just a thought. Like, if yesterday night I was... while I was sleeping, in the dream I saw, you know, some... there was an appearance of a ghost or something. And when I wake up, I know that it's an appearance and you know, the inquiry is still going on that, you know, who saw that? So, you know, not the one who is getting affected by this. So it was an appearance, but then the belief and you know, the tension still goes into that dream while you're sleeping and something again gets scared. So who gets scared, you know? Is it the being that is you getting scared, or is it just another appearance that is coming? I don't know. So just want you to expose it.

There is nobody who gets scared. It is that the appearance of this energy, fear, that comes, and the mind says that 'I got scared.' Once many years ago, actually sharing this, 'I'm grateful, I'm scared, I'm this, I am that.' And he went and saw a play in UK a few years ago where there were some fifteen actors on the stage and each of them had a different role. One was Mr. Gratitude, one was Mr. Anger, one was Mr. Fear, one was Mr. Whatever-you-are. So actually what is happening is Mr. Gratitude is coming, Mr. Gratitude is going. Mr. Fear is coming, Mr. Fear is going. Mr. Okay—I'm not being chauvinistic by saying 'Mr.' for everything—but these energies are coming and these energies are going. It is the mind which is saying that this is happening to you. Nothing is happening to you because nothing can happen to being. Being is just being. And the person doesn't exist, so to that also nothing can happen, you see. So nothing has ever happened. Only the mind's voice is saying this happened to you, you got scared. There is even now, if something was to come—you said a ghost came in the dream—suppose the same ghost was to appear in front of you now. The feeling of fear might come, but even then if you were to explore and say 'Who's getting scared?' you will not find one who is getting scared. So this energetic play is going on. The mind says you are the thinker, you are the doer, you should have done this, you got scared. All this labeling of energy saying that they're yours as a person, that is what the mind does. Clear?

It did feel like that inquiry is going into, you know, that appearance. And again the mind is speaking in its usual way and it's just like, you know, any other argument that mind holds. So that was... the realization did come, but just wanted to expose it.

What's going on in the YouTube chat today? There are some who are asking to be banished and saying 'Please don't banish me.' It's okay. For just reading the YouTube chat, so much, so much love to all of you. And if you find yourself in satsang for some unknown reason, you're completely welcome. And you can find a little bit that regularly in other chat rooms there's a certain way that you might be speaking and communicating with here. May the presence that is here, may it also touch you. Even if it touches you just momentarily, it's okay. I don't mind any of this. It's just that if you're finding yourself here, then even this must be Grace. So much, so much love to all of you. I don't know where a YouTube chat link got posted today that we have some new friends here as well, but I want to give you all of my love. And if you feel that, okay, you're not really interested in spirituality, you're not interested in Advaita, any of what we speak about, but somehow there seems to be some question which is emerging inside you which you feel to ask, then for a moment you can drop this. This is a chance for me to ask a question and you can type that. I'd be very happy. If it's all just going to be fun-fun, then fun-fun, then we have moderators who will ban you and do all those things. Since you find yourself here, see there's something which is deeper than just this mind play. Find if there's something deeper than just what the mind is saying and see if there's a question which is coming from your heart and you find some openness to ask that. I'd be very happy to look at it. Dina says, 'Ananta, what did you put in the tea?' I don't know. It's fine, it's good. Let me read some of this.

I don't know. Oh, I'm back. It's so weird, Father. And like I lost complete control of everything. The whole hangout, the whole of the YouTube chat. Um, it was just absolutely crazy. I can't even begin to tell you how frustrating and... because I tried to... I tried to block one of the users and, yeah, it just went absolutely ballistic. I had some kind of like worm thing going on, but I seem to have control of it again. So I'm so sorry, I apologize. I was here the whole time completely powerless, like watching it all just happen.

Very good, all very good. Satsang for, like, you know, control freak people. And probably you had a hacker who wanted to join satsang and said, 'Who is this moderator? I'm going to show you how to moderate.' It's yeah, it's weird.

And also even now if I... if I try and... I was just even trying to unmute my sound to talk to you and it wouldn't let me do anything. And now I've got them in the call and it's like bully, bully, bully. So you know, you're going to have to... you're going to have to... you're going to have to eject or... or otherwise you have a genuine question. But I am not... I'm not in control of anything.

Hello everyone. Hello my dear, how are you? Very good and you? Good. I saw so many smiles, I had to jump in. Welcome, you're very welcome. Thank you very much. It's good to meet another community. Have you known each other long? Some of us, yes. Yes. And where is everyone from? All over the world. All over the world. That's good. I'm from down under, Australia. We can tell, we can tell with the accent. We have some Aussies here as well. Oh, that's great, that's really good. Good. Um, I only just joined in. I don't know what your conversation was earlier, but I just like smiley people. Very, very good. I'm very happy you joined me. That's good. And I won't... I won't take up your time. I just wanted to say hello and hopefully see you again sometime. You're always welcome. Okay, take care. Peace, love to all.

So beautiful. I'm going to have to stay on because I can't... I don't have a single button available. I can't even mute. Every day some wonderful surprise. Every day. So we can never turn off this hangout. We always have to just go back to this hangout. Never turn off. Oh, it's funny because I even tried to quit. Very much love. It was nice, he just came up and... Oh, Chad says, 'Dana told me to come.' No, very good, very good. And Dana is saying, 'I promise, Ananta, I didn't bring any of these.' It's okay. And even if the intent might be, 'Okay, let's go, let's go have some fun,' it's okay. At least for one moment if you can just feel each other in this beautiful presence of love, it's okay. Um, have a song. Sita has not sung also for some time. Maybe you can sing today.

Namaste, Father, and Namaste everyone. Shall I start then, Father?

Very beautiful. Thank you. So, I'm still reading the chat on YouTube and we have somebody who says 'Troll Intelligence Agency' who says, 'Do not fear, great Ananta here to take care of the rampant control problem.' Jay! They are amazing. The sense of humor is so good. Then Wook says, 'Here in the fifth dimension we are very empowered with infinite awareness.' Not everyone can say things like that. Okay, Paria, we can have the invocations now. Paria Ji, we can't hear you, beloved. We can't hear you. It's okay, it's okay. Okay, does someone else have the audio of this? You can play it maybe. Okay, maybe we can have another bhajan and then close. You sing something? I have a house full of crazy kids running around tonight, so I can... I can sing, but if you can... there might be squealing in the background if that's okay.

Locations now. P.T.G., we can't hear you, beloved. We can't hear you. It's okay. It's okay. Okay, does someone else have the audio of this? You can play it maybe. Okay, maybe we can have another bhajan and then close. You sing something. I have a house full of crazy kids running around tonight, so I can sing, but if you can, there might be squealing in the background if that's okay.

Thank you all so very much for being in Satsang today. Satguru Jai, Jai, Jai, Jai.

Sorry, Father, I'm back now and it just... sorry, completely good. I've never had such a crazy Satsang. It was funny that I couldn't unmute myself because, um, the Hall of Saturn, I wanted to talk to you and... sorry, I've never had such a crazy... all you can do is laugh. Yeah, when I can do... um, so I, the Hall of Saturn, I felt like um, talking to you and um, telling you some things, you know, some realizations and um, but I stopped myself from saying them mostly because sometimes I feel when I when I hear it come out of my mouth in the past, it has it has felt like a spiritual ego. So I don't like to speak it anymore, you know? So, and Mukti Ji always says zip yourself in your sleeping bag and just keep quiet. So it feels like that. But when I'm with my Sangha, I sometimes feel like I want to tell them how amazing... I'm sorry, I didn't plan any of this... how beautiful everything, you know, can be and and how we are filled with so much love, you know? And I know you tell us and we love you for it, you know? But sorry, I'm just getting a... but I don't know, sometimes I must also say, you know, that um, anything that can come in your mind, anything that can bother you is nothing compared to what you are. It can't, it can't ever come close to touching what you are. And um, not... and then as I was going to say that, my computer went crazy. I, I like, I don't write, you know? Sometimes I, I open on my phone, I open the silent space to write like something, you know? And I, I can't write it out or I, I like feel like I somebody says something and I, I, I want to tell them and I can't say it, you know? Anyway, so much love for all this beautiful Sangha.

Even if your mind is saying, 'Oh, this is just spiritual ego,' let go. It's okay. You share, you share. Very happy to hear all of you can share because I know some of you also otherwise have written to me saying that, 'I'm very concerned that there's this urge to share and I don't know whether it's coming from ego or it's just the intuition itself which is wanting to share.' I say you come to the hangout and you share openly. This is what...

Yeah, I even, I even don't have mind. There's like, I don't have, I don't even think about the sharing. It's just that I've held it in for so long um, because in the in the past I had that, you know? I had that like, 'Oh no, this is just, this is just your mind talking,' you know, blah. I used to have it in the past and like sort of like hold, hold it in, hold it in, hold it in. Don't say anything, don't say anything, don't say anything. It becomes like a sort of an ingrained thing, you know? And and I just like in Satsang today, I just felt like saying and and you know, speaking out how beautiful this is, you know? How, how um, precious. And um, we, we, we like listen to our minds, we listen to our thinking, we um, we crystallize ourselves into people who have opinions, goals, you know, concepts that have to dissolve, you know? That's all. It's, it's just none of it's true. None of it's true.

I feel more and more that I want to hear all of you. I more... you know, when I, when I was speaking to you the other day and you were saying to me, 'Oh, these are the remnants of the seeker dissolving,' it's like no, not even the, not even that, because that would would again start crystallizing it, you know? To even call it like remnants that have to go is is not true, you know? Because um, it isn't actually there.

What is there? Yeah, what... and and and um, what is there is just a bundle of thoughts appearing in front of what you are. So um, it's... I don't even know why I'm speaking. In fact, my feeling is just maybe I, I can come and speak once a week or something like this and the rest of the days you all, you know, amongst yourself can also share. I can join just to listen also.

No, we can share and we, we share with each other, you know? But your, your um, your sharing is incredibly valuable to us and um, the way you lead us back all the time and uh, you are able to stay very focused in that, you know? So it's incredibly precious to us. So um, we can, we can share like we do when we come into Satsang and we speak to you, you know?

I just, I, I felt like I had to just speak today. It and and you know, it was funny because then um, my computer froze and then I couldn't speak and then I... oh, and then my computer froze and I couldn't mute myself. What a play! There were some times where we could hear what you were saying to others in the room actually.

You not talking to my, my poor assistant. She's sitting in the office with me, yeah, and um, she, she has all... she sort of goes through Satsang with me because she hears me speaking to you and you know, she's, she's in Satsang every day. Well, she's got her headphones on now, she can't hear. Very funny. Just muted her and then then he started playing some music and then he left or you ejected him?

No, I ejected him. I was saying to Jai Ji the other day, um, we were talking about moderating and I was saying, you know, we've never had to eject anyone and we always have just peace and you know, it's, it's don't worry and you know, these just beautiful beings who come to... and today I'm just like eject, remove, block. Oh, but when we block, does it block, does it block only for that day or does it block forever when we block?

No, eject only ejects for that day. And then on the YouTube chat, if I, if I block on the YouTube chat, then they're blocked. Then they can't post again. So I have to be careful who I block, you know? Because um, then, then, then that, then they really are blocked, you know? So I blocked one person and then um, and then YouTube blocked me. Then I couldn't... then maybe even that one person blocked. But if they repeat what they, what they were doing, then we can block them again. They must, yes. So, so I removed, removed, removed and then like... never know, someone can just come into Satsang and they might just come with the intent of making fun or trouble or whatever, but something might just touch them somewhere. So I want to give that, see, give that feeling to see whether that happens. It's okay.

Yes, and I, and I think it was an example to us when when one of them came in and he was just in the field of Satsang, he was just like, 'Love you, love you.' It's just so lovely, you know? So I think it's a very good example that there should be some um, leeway and some patience. Be open to whatever life... if you find that the intent is just to trouble or to harass or something, then we can do. It's just little good humor also. I don't mind at all actually, because sometimes we take ourselves too seriously that a little bit...

Yes, but one thing that did happen is because of this, then so much chatting was happening, I missed if there was some sincere question or something. Maybe if it continues like this and someone continues to post in spite of my saying we should not, then maybe we block them. Yeah, also the moderators... um, I, I managed to keep, keep a... like I just deleted one or two of them. So usually the moderator should be able to just delete a couple of questions so that the question flow can still happen, you know? So um, hopefully normally that's what we can do. If you can see that it starts getting too much, you can just take a whole lot of them off, you know? The moderators know that. So I just realized that I had a meeting at 2:30 to at another location. So thank you, my love. I think we're still broadcasting. We can turn the broadcast off now, yeah.