Dive Deep Within, Because There Is No Time to Waste - 15th May 2024

You see, this guidance can be silent like this or it can be actual guidance received in words. You may come to a point where you start conversing with God in your heart. And even there, you need to be careful not to confuse our mind with our heart. A lot of times the mind will jump in and want to speak first. And if you ask a question to God in your heart, sometimes the mind will come with an answer; in fact, often it'll come with an answer. So the ability to just be silent and be patient till you know in your heart that it is God which is guiding you. So don't make that into a new way of getting your own will, because often I've heard this notion that 'God told me.' Unless you're really sure, you must not ever say 'God told me' or 'God is guiding me this way.' So our life becomes more inward-facing and the outer becomes incidental. You find so much at-homeness, so much belongingness in your heart that you're not really that affected by how this body-mind is unfolding for the outside world.

You give that instruction now, just pray. And noticing what takes me away is seeing... no, 'a bird in hand is better than two in the bush.' So what is in hand and what is in the bush? Just so I understand. Bush is God? And some pleasure or some curiosity, some pride—these things immediately you can grasp. But just staying and praying, praying, praying, it seems so distant. You don't know when, and that gets me.

So that is the way of the world, that the bird in hand is better than two in the bush. Now, in this case, we actually don't have any bird in hand, but it seems like we do. But what is in the bush is the burning bush of God's life, of God's presence. So the leap of faith is that whole narrative turned another way: to be able to give up on what it seems like we have in hand for this absurd, completely out-of-the-world notion that God's presence is available to me in my heart, it is Him who is there. That is why it is risky business. Spirituality is very risky business. So I will to take that leap of faith and say, 'I'm willing to, on the prodding of this strange man, willing to let go of this seeming bird in my hand and bet my life on that which I may never find in the bush.' I may never become Moses and come across the burning bush, but I'm willing to risk my life for that because what am I risking actually?

So the bird in hand is that which is not real, that which is actually not even not real; it is neither real nor unreal, just a product of ignorance. It's just a rope which is looking like a serpent. And once we see that that serpent, that bird, is actually not an actuality, it's just like a dream appearance.

The bird could be something like: today I felt like reading 'The Screwtape Letters.' I thought, 'I have to read this,' and I bought it. Yeah, that seems like... but I have to give up. It's like when I try to pray and read, then it doesn't work out. So it's an obvious choice; I need to give up the book and God will show me in a much more better way. I have to have that faith, but I'm not doing it. I'm like, I'm still... I want to do it my way.

So we don't leave the prayer if the focus is on God even while reading. Otherwise, nobody could ever read who's into spirituality. And yet you'll see most of the sages have read so much. So if the focus remains on God... how to pray unceasingly? How to pray unceasingly so that your center of gravity is God? So the prayer which the Guru gives us is the initial doorway to the unceasing prayer. So we must repeat that as often as we can so it takes a hold in our heart, a hold of our heart, and then it continues unceasingly, either in the words as a japa or as just remaining in His holy presence. And ultimately you recognize that just to be with Him is to pray unceasingly. So our prayer is a doorway into that unceasing focus, unceasing being with Him.

Because otherwise what happens for many in the beginning is that you recognize His presence, you even say, 'Okay, I will give my full focus to Him,' but it lasts only a minute or two and then Maya comes with some tricks. The mind will come and offer you something else and then it'll be taken away. So what to do when you're reading? Suppose you're chanting; then can you chant once every few minutes while you continue to read? Just make sure that your focus is on God within and you continue to be in His presence in some way. So take a break every few minutes if you find yourself just obsessively gathering knowledge in your head. If you notice that, then just take a break from that.

A book like 'The Screwtape Letters' or any spiritual book should actually be read under the guidance of the Spirit itself, otherwise we won't understand anything. I was saying the other day, we don't understand a single line of spirituality unless we are in the tutelage of the Atma, of the Spirit within. So it has to be done... you see, you can't speed read. You can't say, 'I will gather all these concepts and I will make a mind map out of all of this and I will just understand all of this.' It has to be read from your heart. That's where the words will start to unfold and they deepen so much that I could have read the same book ten years ago and I would have felt that I understood it, but now as I read it, I feel like I didn't understand anything. I'm getting new insights; everything is deeply intricate. The pathways of the heart are so deeply pristine and integrated that there's an ever-deepening process.

So you could read the same thing next year and say, 'Wow, this was what I read? I don't remember this being there.' Read the words again like, 'Oh, that's what he's saying. That's what she's pointing us to.' So yes, try. I know it seems strange because we are so used to school and rote learning and that kind of stuff, or even coming to conceptual understanding. But try to just be empty, remain in the heart, say your prayer a few times, offer it to God. Pray a little bit, read a little bit, return to your heart and pray, then read another paragraph, read another page slowly. In a way, like the sharing of Satsang. The sharing of Satsang happens; it seems like an outer activity, but if it became an outer activity, then it would not be Satsang. The teacher of God has to constantly make sure that they are remaining within, they are anchored in His light within, and from there the words are allowed to move.

In the same way, when we read, we have to try and anchor ourselves. And it may not come naturally yet, but use the tools. Use the tools which you have been given. So try to read from your heart in a heartfelt way. Don't try to understand too much, get too much in your head. That knowledge will go; you'll have to keep revising it, keep building more concepts on top for it to remain relevant in your head. But that which you learn in your heart, you never actually forget. Maya, the Avidya, may take you over, but when you drop it, that insight is there with you. You never leave it. So read slow, no rush. That's why all of you find me strange, because I'm usually reading many things at the same time. Sometimes this calls me, sometimes that calls me, and I read a few pages from here, a few pages from there, and it somehow just works out beautifully because the Atma knows, the Spirit knows the curriculum better. And I can't tell you the number of times I could be reading two completely different...

Over, but when you drop it, that insight is there with you. You never leave it. So read slow, no rush. That's why people, all of you, find me strange because I'm usually reading many things at the same time. Sometimes this calls me, sometimes that calls me, and I read a few pages from here, a few pages from there, and it somehow just works out beautifully because the Atma knows, the spirit knows the curriculum better. And I can't tell you the number of times I could be reading two completely different cultures and exactly the same message shows up. Exactly the same. Like I saw today, this example happened where I saw a video of C.S. Lewis—because you mentioned Screwtape Letters—saying, 'Why does God wake you up at 3:00 a.m.?' I didn't click into that because I was busy with some work. 'Why does God wake you up at 3:00?' And it intrigued me, the title, but I didn't click into it. It must be in my watch list; I haven't seen it. Then I was watching another satsang talking to someone in the Himalayas, and she says she wakes up at 3:00 a.m. in Brahma Muhurta and it becomes... yeah, and it becomes so natural that these things happen. You don't even... you're just so used to God's miracles throughout the day. So you enjoy them, you're in gratitude, but you're not like, 'Oh, see what has happened,' because these miracles, these are beautiful reminders of God's presence. Beautiful reminders of something which is outside the realm of the ordinary. Because if you were to calculate the mathematical odds of these things happening on a daily basis, they would be astronomically low. So tiny. But you'll see so many things happen like that in your life. And one thing is that in His tutelage, we become more attentive also. We are noticing this play also much more attentively. So as we become more attentive, we notice more of this as well. And your ability to read will actually, and assimilate, will actually go up. It's actually reading with your full heart, with your full everything at your disposal.

I don't know. I have to watch that C.S. Lewis one. One is not enough for me to change, so I have to watch two of them. Also, I was chatting with ChatGPT about some stuff. So much of it sounds so much like the spirituality you talk about. So much. I used to know a little more about these things, and all that stuff. Now I seem to have let it all go somewhere.

Let's go to Monica. One second. Okay, let's try now. Monica, can you hear me now, please? Yeah, thank you. Do you get an echo back now when you speak? Yeah, from you a little bit. Yes, from this side you get... yeah, put on the speaker. The mic is here for... ah, okay, cool.

I'm sorry. I... there is so much, like, somehow disconnection a little bit in my heart right now. Like, ah... and yeah, I don't know if I ever experienced it like this in my life right now.

I see. What time is it there? Is it early in the morning or...?

No, it's... I just came from Portugal. I flew from the village. Yeah, I just came. And this sense of not feeling His presence, not being in His light, that has been there for how long? It... well, I would say, like, I was guided by a ticket. I felt like clear about it in my mind, and I didn't sleep much at all. And then I felt good going, and now, like, it's been for four hours or like... yeah, since since I came. Like, strong, strong mind. And like, I could see myself saying this to you, but somehow I feel I need to ask you for help because... yeah.

Yes, like that. First, it's good that we notice and there's a restlessness in us which wants to return to our natural home now. So that itself is good, to notice the disconnection and not want to continue that in this mind attack. Because it is a mind attack when we feel disconnected from God's presence. So being in satsang, of course, will help. And the prayer will help. Your whatever inquiry, whatever practices you're doing, those will help. Devotional songs will help. If you listen to any sort of devotional singing, that will help. So just pray in your heart for His grace, for His presence to make itself available to you again. Offer yourself over to God. Offer your heart to God and make it fully available for Him so that His light may shine, so that your heart is His heart, so that you are one in that presence. So all of this guidance you can follow. And it's very good to notice like this. You see, these are not fun times, but these are more critical. These are more important because what you do here is more important than when God's presence seems natural. Then He is guiding you, who is living you anyway. But this is when the mind wants to take over. This is when Maya wants to take over. So just surrender to His will. Don't move unless He moves you. So lovingly and patiently. We cannot demand, we cannot be entitled to His presence, but with love, humility, servitude, the presence of satsang—all of this will help you to feel deeper connected in your heart. Just know that in reality, His presence has not gone anywhere. See? So it's not that it is gone away. It is only that in the midst of a mind attack, in the midst of the seeming separation, it seems like you are disconnected. So have that faith that even though a sense of disconnection is there, He is completely with you and He is hearing you. His love is available to you. So like that, just stay in satsang and maybe we can see also at the end of satsang how it is.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much.

So welcome. So welcome. Thank you. Many times it's also when the body is very tired we may feel like that. Yes, we are more susceptible to mind attack when the body instrument is a bit tired, then it feels like whatever the mind is saying is true.

Yes, yes, exactly. Like everything... like it's so hard not to believe. And it seems everything I say, I want to say it's coming from there. Like, yeah.

So remember that this intention which already you have made it clear to yourself and in the presence of the Sangha, that you want to feel that presence again, you want to feel that connection again. He is... if we are aware of it, because you made us aware, He is already aware of that, is He? So He knows. And from there, knowing that He knows, then we just have to trust. We have to have faith.

Yes, thank you.

Welcome. Thank you so much. Thank you. Okay, now somebody has shared a beautiful prayer from Jesus to his Father for his disciples. John 17:11b-19: 'Holy Father, keep them in Your name which You have given me, that they may be one even as we are one. While I was with them, I kept them in Your name which You have given me. I have guarded them and not one of them has been lost except the son of destruction, that the scripture might be fulfilled. But now I am coming to You, and these things I speak in the world that they may have my joy fulfilled in themselves. I have given them Your word and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not ask that You take them out of the world, but that You keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is the truth. As You sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world. And for their sake I consecrate myself, that they also may be sanctified in truth.' Thank you. Thank you.

Give it the mic. I'm trying to understand... when I, when we do yoga, they say this upper chakra is the one that is your crown chakra, is the closest to accessing Source. I feel like from what I've understood with a lot of at least like Christian faith and all that, it's the heart chakra. And then they say your gut instinct is, you know, it's in your stomach and that's where you feel intuition and that's the voice of God or the connection to God. I'm a little bit confused. And obviously it doesn't come in words, but how do you feel, how do you know when it's God speaking to you, when it's your mind wanting to speak to you, when it's you having read something and then trying to, you know, create that experience? Is there a... I'm a little bit confused.

It's good. It's very good. So if you have the experience of having the experience of some of these chakras, then what you could do is you could ask: In which light are these shining? In which light are these shining? Because even our chakras are not self-ruling. They are living on borrowed light, so to speak. So what is the source of the light even of these subtle experiences which ultimately are also in the realm of phenomena? So that will lead us to that which we cannot say is phenomenal and neither can we say it's non-phenomenal. See, I'll answer your question about heart guidance versus mind, but this point is important: that when we notice our chakras—and I have nothing against them, it's a beautiful experience to have—but we don't have to chase that. If it happens naturally, it is fine. But when we notice them, there is no doubt in us that these are phenomenal experiences that we are having. We are perceiving them, we are feeling their light, we are sensing their light, perceiving their light. So there's no doubt into their phenomenality. Now the light which shines on these is the same light that shines on the world. That light is the presence of I-am-ness, the presence of beingness. See? This Atma, this presence that we constantly speak of, is the same one which gives light to these inner experiences as well as to the outer experiences. Now, how do you know that it is your heart, this light, this Atma which is guiding you, and not the mind which is posing as if it is the guide? How do you know? So you know because, firstly, in the guidance of the heart, you are dipped in love. And in the guidance of the mind, you are dipped in wanting, you're grasping. You start to notice more and more the taste difference. Even when the mind is trying to sound spiritual, it is grasping, you see? It's almost like Gollum's 'my precious' ring. It's still grasping. It's trying to pose very holy, it's trying to pose very loving, but you'll notice that it's trying to rush you. It is trying to say, 'You need this, it must happen.' You see this kind of thing? So that undertone, that sub-taste, that undertaste will tell you whether it is coming from the Holy Spirit in your heart or it is coming from the selfishness of the mind. So the more you look into this, the clearer it will become, you see? That is one thing. The second thing is that if your intention is to follow God, and even if you're tricked by the mind, then God will take care of you. If your true intention is truly to follow God, is to truly follow your Atma within, and you get fooled—the mind throws a trick at you and you fall for it—but your intention was still to follow God, then you're still taken care of. You don't have to worry in that way. And the third thing is that if there is a doubt about where it is coming from, then don't move. Allow it to become clearer. That patience will help you because if you cannot really say that this is God's guidance, it's very important and very good to not jump into the mode of 'God told me.' You see? When we come into spirituality, when we come into satsang, it becomes almost like a badge of honor. It becomes like a step of progress. So we rush into these kind of things where we feel like we want to say, 'Oh, but I was guided by God to do this.' But only make that conclusion if you're really clear in your heart that it is coming from there. And if you're not sure, then just don't move. See? And I don't mean don't move physically; just don't rush towards any decision or any choice-making till it's completely clear to you that it's coming from God's light. So that when the world rushes us, when our mind is rushing us, for us to be patient is a beautiful skill for us to learn because you're only avoiding a lot of trouble for yourself and the world in that process. So just remain patient till it becomes very clear. And if it's not clear, then pray to God and say, 'I don't know. Now You move me. I'm not going to decide.' Almost a minute, Ananta. It's like it's so unclear. Is this from mind...?

Decision making, till it's completely clear to you that it's coming from God's will. So that when the world rushes us, when our mind is rushing us, for us to be patient is a beautiful skill for us to learn because you're only avoiding a lot of trouble for yourself and the world in that process. So just remain patient till it becomes very clear. And if it's not clear, then pray to God and say, 'I don't know. Now you move me. I'm not going to decide.' Almost a minute-by-minute... it's like, it's so unclear. Is this my mind guiding me? Is it you, God? So you move me, Father. You move me, Ram. At your service, at your mercy, at your will, you see. So that kind of surrender is very beautiful to deepen our heart guidance, for us to become deeply embedded in our intuition. For us to become in this kind of faith and surrender is very good.

So, the presence of love, the presence of caring, of not rushing versus the grasping nature of the mind. Then the complete surrender of our individual will—a sacrifice. It can seem like a sacrificing of our will for His will. And thirdly, just patience. If you're in doubt, then don't move till it becomes clearer. Because this makeover is a big, big change in our life. We are so used to living another way. So as we are surrendering our will for Him to move us, for His will to be our guide, it can seem like a big change and your mind can really fight that with all its might. So these pointers, these tips, will help you in the process. But the more you remain inward-facing, the easier it will become. You notice the subtle differences. And as long as your intention is true, that you want to surrender to God and follow His will, even if you're fooled by the mind, God is taking care.

That was very helpful. I think that the question, a slightly related question, is timing. When they say Divine timing, right? And you can feel like you've lined up everything, done everything, or you're really waiting for something and it's just not happening. And there are a lot of very real, difficult things, variables on that. How... I mean, deep down inside I really feel like Divine timing... I mean, free will you can do till a certain extent, but when that... till that time is right, I feel like it's just nothing will happen. Or, I mean, how do you... what's a good way to use surrender to accept Divine timing? Is there any...?

Divine timing. Um, there's so much you can speak of for this topic. What's coming first to say is that the good thing about God's grace and love is that He never allows us to mess up too much. So the good news is that it's very, very rare in the human condition that somebody messes up too much. Usually, the return to Him is fairly straightforward. If we are willing to give up on our individual will, that return is fairly straightforward to do that. In God's will, if we go with our own timing, we will find that a lot of things just don't happen, you see. Or when we go with our own will, we'll notice that, 'I did everything, everything by the book. I did this, this, this, and it's still not happening,' you see.

When we are complaining about it, most likely it is God preventing us from trouble, from ourselves getting into a bigger trouble. Because we presume that we know what is best for us. We presume that we can come to the best decisions about ourselves. Whereas a lot of times when I have been frustrated in the past about things not happening, although everything was in place for it to happen, I realize now that I'm so grateful for all of those times. It is difficult to be grateful when we are going through those things, but after some time has passed, we can see the grace in it more easily.

So, we can trust Divine timing. Many times, without us doing anything at all, things happen—things that we couldn't even imagine just end up happening, you see. And many times we feel like we've put everything in place and it's still not happening. So we can trust that the goodness of anything can only be gauged on its source. Where did it come from? And only if it came from God can it be called good. So allow the objective and the fulfillment of the objective to come from God Himself. Don't have any objectives for yourself. Don't say, 'Ah, this is what I want,' because you could be climbing the wrong wall or creating big trouble for yourself. You don't know.

But when we say, 'This is what I want, now you help me,' you see, that is all right. At least we went to God for help. So that is still better than saying, 'This is what I want and this is what I'm going to do,' and we don't surrender any aspect of that. But if we allow Him to set the outcomes of our lives, set the objectives of our lives, and what action happens towards them, and whether the outcome comes to fruition or not, then that is surrender. So, are we willing to surrender our will? And how do you know something is your will? We know because we can say, 'I want. This is what I want,' or even, 'This is what I don't want.' Can we sacrifice that?

Yes, it's a good contemplation because we find that, yes, I can sacrifice this, I can sacrifice this, but if God says that I can't do... everybody has that boundary. All of us, especially this one. So it's good to come face to face with that boundary and say, 'This is the boundary of my faith. This is the boundary of my trust. I can give God this much and not more than that,' you see. And then as you progress in spirituality, you'll see that that boundary keeps deepening. The level of faith that we have keeps growing. So that is part of the spiritual journey that we undertake, that our moment-to-moment complete surrender allows us to be able to break through these boundaries that we set for God in our life.

And in every culture, every tradition, we have examples which tell us about how those boundaries can be surpassed. Like in the Christian religion, the story of Abraham is the one which clearly makes everyone look at their boundaries and say, 'Okay, now that is too much. That is going too far,' you see. And as we deepen in our spirituality, we realize that the boundary of that keeps shifting deeper and deeper. Initially, it may even seem scary, and it is all right. It's fine to feel scared a bit because spirituality is really not all feel-good and rah-rah. It's a very different project. So if it doesn't feel a bit risky, then we're doing something wrong in the sense that, 'Where am I going with this? I went to just make myself feel better,' or some friends forced me or whatever, told me it's really good. But I didn't realize that I have to put my head on the block totally, be self-sacrificing till my head completely belongs to Him, my heart completely belongs to Him.

So the project is very different in actuality, in reality, from what we initially thought it was and how most of modern spirituality looks at the spiritual project, which is this: 'Come do this, you'll feel better, you'll be happy, you'll find a good partner, you'll find yourself more productive at work.' Nobody says that your faith will be tested, you will get into like an inner wrestling match, you see, which doesn't feel comfortable. But also the discovery that is possible is so immense. God, which is the light of lights, the intelligence which runs this entire universe—to have the possibility of spending our life blessed by His light, by His love, by His presence, His grace as an actual reality and not some conceptual thing that we just read in books. As an actuality, to make that possible in our life, in the design of this, requires us to be able to take the risk of surrender.

Otherwise, most people talk about surrender even in all types of spirituality—that we must surrender to God, we must surrender to the Satguru—but we never meet what actually surrenders. Surrender is actually surrendering everything that we want, everything that we know to be right, you see. All our life, everything that we have gathered as the way of life, as our goals in life, to be able to let go of that and just unfold in this presence free of these encumbrances, that is when we come to true freedom. Otherwise, it is possible for just a feel-good spirituality to put us into a new prison which, at the center of it, continues to be the 'me.' It is the 'me' who is the source of all our suffering, all our trouble—the egoic identity, the false one that we take ourselves to be. Because that one has been told that, 'You will do better, you will elevate, you will become this and you will become that.' So we are growing our ego in that process, and then our spirituality becomes about how to use God so that I can benefit.

And that seems like a very natural thing to say in modern spirituality: 'How can I use God so that I can become better or benefit in some way?' Then who has to... that sounds like God has to surrender to your will, no? Sounds like we have to guide and say that, 'This is what I want. I want to become like this. Now how can you help me, God?' So, yeah, it's quite the opposite of that.

I feel like after I asked a few questions to myself, or not even to myself, maybe beyond, I feel like I opened up something. My entire life has turned upside down. It's kind of like inside out. Everything I had thought was really wonderful has been turned upside down and I just... and then I have no control over the timing and I have no understanding of why it's happening, because socially it's all the wrong, sad things. But I'm trying really hard to believe that this is because it's so out of my control and I can't change anything even if I tried it—and I have tried. Is that like when... I mean, I have no will left to surrender. I have no choice in anything.

That's perfect. That's perfect. And most of us come to satsang at that point of time, or after coming to satsang, that point of time comes. 'I don't know.' So all of us experience that. And Guruji says when we run out of moves, when we run out of moves, that is when we truly are able to meet God. That is when we truly are able to meet ourselves. So it sounds to me like you're running out of moves in the world, you see. That you don't know where to go, what to do, why is this happening to you? Is it right? Is it wrong? Maybe the mind is telling you it's all wrong and your life is becoming a mess or something like that. But it's very auspicious.

And most of the satsang members in this room, if you talk to them later, will confirm that this is true, that this also happened in their life. That things which seemed to be in control just went out of control. Like, 'Why is this happening? What is happening? How could this be happening?' So these are very natural things. But with my little experience, what I want to tell you is that really this world is thermocol, you see. It's thermocol. It seems like it is full of love and light and peace and joy and all of these things, but all of the good stuff comes from within yourself. All of that comes from within yourself.

So this inside out is very good because this is just like an ephemeral movie which is playing. The light which is shining on the world, which is giving light to the world, that is your own presence. I amness, you see, is spoken about in all traditions. Some say 'I am,' some say 'Om,' some say 'Atma.' It is the same light of God within ourselves. This is the source of love. This is the source of all true understanding. This is the source of authentic power. This is the source of all rest and rejuvenation. So don't worry. Don't worry. All this topsy-turvy will start to settle because what is actually happening is that Grace, for some reason, is opening a door to you to see that actually what we thought was already upside down, now as it is seeming upside down, it is going the right side up. That we are coming from darkness into light, from ignorance into true knowledge. It is literally like the example of Plato's Cave that I took the other day, where there's a group of prisoners who are in a cave at the end of the cave, and the light of the sun comes from the mouth of the cave. So what they see is they see a play of shadows.

Grace for some reason is opening a door to you to see that actually what we thought was already upside down, now as it is seeming upside down, it is going the right side up. We are coming from darkness into light, from ignorance into true knowledge. It is literally like the example of Plato's Cave that I took the other day, where there's a group of prisoners who are in a cave, at the end of the cave, and the light of the sun comes from the mouth of the cave. So what they see is they see a play of shadows on the wall of the end of the cave. And now, because they were only looking at that, they feel like that is what life is, you see. So as the sun goes up and down, they see the play of shadows on that screen and they feel like that is what life actually is.

Now one of the prisoners actually escapes and he goes to the mouth of the cave. At first, he feels like his eyes are going to burn; he's just going to become blind. But slowly, slowly he gets used to that light and says, 'Oh, my true life is here in the light of the sun. There's a life outside this cave. I must go and tell my brothers and sisters who are caught over there about this true life. It is not the shadow life which is real.' So he runs back and he says, 'Brothers, sisters, come, come! There's a better life. I'll open you and we'll go.' So he opens the knots, but what do you feel? What is the reaction he gets? What are they going to say? They say, 'Get away, you crazy person! What are you saying? All of us for centuries have believed this,' right? So for so long we believed this way of life. You come out of nowhere, you've gone mad. There's no such sun. Everything that is there is there in the shadow. They don't consider it the shadow, of course.

And the problem is that one lawyer for that point of view also lives with us in our heads. So that is going to continually try to scare you, try to say, 'What is happening to you? You're losing it,' you see. 'Stop this. It's becoming too much. Take a grip, get a control over your life.' All that stuff will come. But if you persist in this, you see, as it is, Grace has put you in a place where you organically surrender. So dive into that. Own that. Don't try to get control again, grasp into things again. Take this risk for me and see where it goes. I'm here; you can catch me anytime. I'm not planning to leave, but you can remember this conversation where I'm asking you to take this risk for me. Don't try to get back into the driver's seat. Life has put you in a place where you're no longer driving, so allow that to unfold. Deepen inwardly. Follow whatever resonates with you in Satsang and give it some time.

By God's grace, if you use this auspicious time well, you'll be free from the clutches of Maya. In this video, until God put me in this kind of situation, I would not even have heard all this. I was not even open enough to hear these things. So these things make us open to an alternate way of life, an alternative reality. If things are just going well, then who's listening? It's like what you said; it's so spot on. Like, it's very clear what you said.

I have to pray. It's not difficult. It's just saying some words, even mentally, not even moving my mouth. But I know, and I'm convinced. You've given all the arguments, I've read all the things, and yet it's just... I just have to do it. And the only way to do it is to do it. And I'm not... and it's like nothing. Reading all that, it's of no use. I just have to keep doing it and just have to do it. And even this intention, which is like... these words are very beautiful to me because of the simplicity of the intention to just follow, you see. At one point then all the complications go away like this. And is there anything that makes it easier? Even like, I know I have to pray and I'm just not feeling... I just don't want to. And that's it. My will is getting in the way. And even Mira, she was saying that it's this... this is the thing that will... you need to hand something like that. I don't know. And nothing else helps in this, isn't it? It's just trying over and over and again to hand over my will to God.

This is it. Hand over your will to God over and over, over and over. Succeed, fail, be empty for a while, fail again. So it's part of the spiritual maturing. So we have to do moment-to-moment return to the love, return to the emptiness, return to the presence, whichever way we look at this. And in that moment-to-moment, moment-to-moment, moment-to-moment, we will look back at our life and we will see that there were times where we were empty, we were in His presence, and there were times where we failed. We got back up again, you see. So it's just like this bike; you're learning to ride the bike. Sometimes it feels like, 'Yes, yes, yes, yes,' and you may even start celebrating, and then you fall off the bike and you say, 'No, no, I'm never going to do this again. Am I really cut out for this? It's too much. It's too radical,' or whatever, you see.

Then, laying on the floor, we throw a tantrum, but then we realize after some time it's no point in laying on the floor, you see. Then you try to get back up. So you see, this is a spiritual life. It doesn't have to be all, you know, halo and light and everybody becomes enlightened and everybody gets disciples tomorrow. It doesn't have to be like that. As long as your heart tells you whether you're deepening in the truth or you're deluding yourself. Whether you like it or not, it tells you. You may choose not to listen, you may choose to go with the mind, but you know, isn't it simple like that?

So as we are coming to the simplicity, there's no escape even in that simplicity. Like once it's clear to you, 'I just have to follow, I just have to do it,' like you said, then your mind will offer some excuse. It will say, 'No, it's just words.' I just have to do it. I just have to pray, or I have to remain empty, remain in this presence. I have to love Him. Whatever is working for us, we just have to follow that. And when we remember that, it doesn't matter what I think about myself, what everyone else thinks about me. We can convince ourselves and the world that we are full of enlightenment or something like that, but if you don't go to the heart and get a sense there, then we are just fooling ourselves.

So pray to Him, pray with Him. Allow your heart to pray organically. Inquire into the nature of who you really are. Remain humble in your heart. Have faith that He knows, He's taking care. Just these simple, simple instructions are it. And once you start to get a sense that you can remain in His presence, just don't leave Him. Whatever keeps you there, use your prayer. Prayers are very potent, and they are made more potent with your intention to be with Him.

One teacher was saying, one sadhu who lives in the Himalayas... let's suppose I wanted to get into IIT or become an IAS officer, then I have to work hard for a few years to get admitted into IIT or IAS. But when we want to... now this part I'm paraphrasing... but when we want to come into the discipleship of the Atma, we just be like, 'You see, why isn't it happening? I've been trying for one week, nothing is happening.' So if somebody said that about IIT or the UPSC exam, 'I studied for one week and went... only one week,' you see. So that's why I said for two years don't get frustrated, don't report 'this is not happening, nothing is happening,' this and that, you see. Give it time, have patience. You will see.

So that immediacy of following in the moment with the patience of a few years, you see, then that combined is very potent. Full on every moment-to-moment, don't think there's a past or future, you see. And yet be patient, wait it out. Don't rush, because both those instructions are for you at different levels of your understanding. So if you have to study five years to become UPSC... all of that... these kids start in sixth standard, they start applying for all these Allens and Brilliance and all of that, they start doing all this preparation. So how many years of preparation before you become a disciple of God Himself, the best education institute?

And it is true that if you offered yourself up completely this moment, you would have it. But this immediacy of Grace is often confused and becomes an entitlement to Grace. So these must be surrendered to our faith, saying He knows best. What if a child is given a place into IIT but they haven't... they won't know anything of physics, math, nothing. They won't survive in it, they'll struggle a lot. So in the same way, God knows best when to reveal Himself, in which way, how to guide us. So we have to hand over our idea that 'I know' and allow Him to take over our life. And yet, full on every moment. Can you meet it at both ends? Just like an immensity of patience and love for God, and yet at the same time you're just like, 'Now, Father, now, now!'

It can seem confusing to the mind. Where are we headed towards as a finality? Is there such a thing as 'where are we,' and at what point would you say that you stabilized?

So in the Abheda part, which means that we are not distinct from God, we are one in that reality of ourselves as pure awareness—in that inside, it is final. As pure awareness, you will not become more pure awareness. It's just in itself all there is, the ultimate, the finality right there. In the Bheda part, which is that sense that we will still have of that distinction, there's a forever deepening possible, you see. Or at least I cannot say that I've come to the finality of you. So then in a way, it is a continuation of the seeming—not duality—but the seeming contradiction of the immediacy of the Atma Gyan and the ever-deepening of the Bhakti.

So yeah, there's no... I don't feel like any sage has ever reported that 'I've come to the end of this' or 'I've got a complete measure of this' or 'a complete fathoming of this.' Most of them always say that 'I'm just starting to scratch the surface.' At least I have to report that. There was this story... I don't know whether you heard this as a story or... ah, it was a story somebody shared, maybe Hanuman Prasad Ji. But he said somebody made a meal for a sadu very lovingly. Somebody made a meal for this sadu very lovingly, with the right proportion, recipe, everything was perfect. And was waiting expectantly for the sadu to taste it and say how good it is.

So the sadu, what he did is first he saw the meal, he mixed water in everything, made it into like a lump of clump of food, and then he's eating it. So then the one who made the food was just like, 'What are you doing? I prepared it so well and all the taste is gone now. What will you enjoy out of it?' So he said that, 'I'm just... God is giving me so much pleasure that any pleasure that I want to derive from the world, it's seeming second-hand actually.' So I'm not recommending these things to anyone. I don't want... because many times the mind can take these on and just get us more and more involved in phenomena. But if your heart is moving in these ways, sometimes it can move in these ways, you see. And you discover that all those things which seem so essential to you, so important... is it that you can't be happy without these things? You notice that there's nothing at all.

In the morning I have tea. I have tea, yeah. But now if I wake up around 8:00, I don't need to have tea. But I'm not having anything, and somebody told me to do that, like even a few months, just forget all. But it's just you also because your faith is deepened. Your faith is deepened because you were able to give up on smoking, which was a habit for so long, you see. So you realize that if in God's faith and love you can give up on such deeply embedded habits, then all these things are not so... I thought all these things... I mean, I didn't... you get that inner development of trust.

No, I really honestly know who did it. So I am under no illusion that it was any effort on my part. I know it's very clear who has done this, and that faith has deepened. And I use that faith to know that God does have the power to change something instantly.

So these times, these things which we recognize that only God can do, and if I try to do it, it would not work, you see, then we are...

Bad habits and all these things are not so. I thought all these things—I mean, I didn't get that inner development of trust. I really honestly know that who did it, so I am under no illusion that it was any effort on my part. I know it's very clear who has done this, and that faith has deepened. I use that faith to know that God does have the power to change something instantly. So these things which we recognize that only God can do, and if I try to do it, it would not work, you see? Then we are giving faith to that power of God. And when we start trusting it more and more in everything, then you notice that it is right here. It is breathing my breaths; it is beating my heart right here. So my will seems limited and constructed by time, past or future—I want or I don't want. Yes, whereas God's will seems timeless, outside of the realm of the time construct. Is this one way to see it too?

Yes. So suppose that this world is the Lego world, a Lego brick world. Suppose all the characters in those Lego bricks started to feel like, 'I have built this house, I have built this thing.' Like that, you see? Now, they are in some seeming construct of time, but the builder, which is us in that case, is in a different construct of time, isn't it? So all these things which seem so linear for them—I mean, imagine that they had this ability to fool themselves with individual doership, will, duality, all of these things. So they are looking at the house being built up and they are standing there, they're doing the work, you see? All of that. And they are implanted—imagine that they are also implanted with memory like we have, so we feel like we saw this being built up and things like that. And then one day they realize that actually it is another builder who's in a different dimension, whose life is not in the Lego world at all. Just like that.

That's why the story which Carl Sagan speaks of called Flatland—there's a video on YouTube about Flatland—it's very similar to that. If you're a two-dimensional character, then how do you meet the three-dimensional character? You just meet that one cross-section of that as a circle. If you meet a sphere, it is met as a circle. So it is said that where Krishna lives, there are 16 dimensions. And of course, because Indians are the best—which I'm saying completely sarcastically, of course—so we came to this interesting conclusion much before anybody in science had discovered dimensions. Just kidding, don't worry. 16 dimensions! Where in the West they didn't even think of this world as four dimensions, in India they were describing 16. They're just the best, you see? An object in 16—like we have in Vaikuntha, there are 16 dimensions. They didn't settle for seven, eight, nine, ten; straight to 16. So that intuitive insight—we can't even fathom such a space, such a place. Even a five-dimensional world we can't fathom.

To speak so much about this: suppose this world was five-dimensional and time was like another dimension like space. Then how would people meet? This is four-dimensional: length, breadth, height, and time—and duration, basically. Yes. So suppose there was one more dimension and time was just like length, breadth, and height. Then how would two people meet? Moving in that time dimension also takes time. So suppose that time dimension became like this physical dimension. That physical dimension, to move, you'll need time again. It takes some time to move. Yes. But if it became like length, breadth, height, and time like that, and there's another one which is now time-like, which is now time. So time has become like a physical dimension and everything is happening in that super-time. Then, if you are interested in this kind of nonsense—like I am—then you would say, 'Okay, then the baby Ananta which was born would meet the baby Prakash which was born.' You see? And then the grown-up would meet the grown-up. But that's not right, because then the baby one would also meet all the future ones, and the future ones would also meet all the prior ones. So all the variations would meet all the ones, you see? Because his length, breadth, and height are meeting this length, breadth, and height which I call my body, so then all my time would also meet all his time. Correct. So every meeting would be like that.

So suppose if a circle came to life, which is just two dimensions, then a worldly meeting like this in three dimensions seems just like that to them. No, that you're not just meeting this, but you also meet—suppose now the third dimension for them was time like that. Then you say, 'Oh, when a circle was here, here, here, here, you're also meeting another being which is in those dimensions, in those places.' And you see the finish of that one. Yeah, you see, you meet the entirety of it, of their life. Random nonsense. So this is just fifth. Imagine 16th! All the multiple dimensions. Every source of knowledge, one dimension specifies an experience. No, no, that's different. That's aspects of your being, you see, which we call dimensions sometimes.

I'm saying that, okay, so now the fifth one became like the movement which is happening at the speed of light. So what is time? You're moving into the next moment in time at the speed of light, apparently. And if you are moving in the other three dimensions, in any of them, then that speed is minused from the amount you're moving into the next moment. You see, you should be listening to this part because you're talking about Einstein's general relativity. At the core of general relativity was this notion, or whatever discovery, that we are moving at the speed of light into the next moment in time. But if you're moving in any of the three dimensions, then that much gets minused from how much you're moving into the next moment. So if you're traveling at the speed of light in any direction, then you're not moving in time. That is minused from how much you're moving in time. So time stands still for you because you're moving at the speed of light.

Of course, I mean, it's physically impossible to move at the speed of light. But according to Einstein, if you're jumping up and down, then that movement is causing you to reduce that speed from the speed of light to move into the next moment. So you are moving in time slower than somebody who is stationary. But because the speed at which we can move is negligible compared to the speed of light, it's not observable. These corrections they had to make in GPS. Wow. So there are some applications with space travel and GPS. I'm sure these kind of things—somebody who was stationary, they are moving faster in time than the one who's moving in another dimension.

So then if it is five dimensions, where these are physical including the fourth which is time for us, but it becomes a physical dimension and then you're moving at the speed of light into that fifth—so then what is happening? We can return to Satsang, don't worry. Then there would be still none of these. But you also start contemplating this stuff if you read like Yoga Vasistha and all of that, because the nature of this construct of time and space is completely demolished in the Yoga Vasistha. That's the best part of it, that Maya doesn't seem as tangible. So whether you read the Yoga Vasistha or study quantum physics, you come to similar conclusions that we can't really say anything about this.

Father, I have heard from my husband that he was a disciple to a Guru who would get a disciple to mix water in the meals he was served. And I would question it in my mind silently: why is it needed? But as we follow the promptings of the spirit within, we can never say for that one, for that unfolding, what is needed, what is best, what is worst.

So somebody's really attached to the taste of food and that keeps them occupied in thinking about 'What am I going to eat next? What am I eating? What am I eating?' You see, maybe it's a useful practice. For another one who may not be, you see, or by doing this it may be too strong for some. So we can't, in a worldly way, we can never determine and say, 'This is the common curriculum for everyone.' We can only say that these are the broad principles, and within which then the Atma within has to guide. If you look at the lives of all the sages and try to make the best template of what it takes to become a disciple of God, you won't be able to do it. That's why it requires faith. It's a risk because we don't actually know what our next step needs to be.

One sage called himself Mahamurkh, which means 'the great foolish one.' And he says that true knowledge only comes from God. So true foolishness is unavoidable in the human condition. To know that we are foolish makes us just that little bit less foolish. To think that we know, to think that we do, that makes us very foolish. To know that we are foolish and therefore fully in His mercy and grace is the unfolding of wisdom. Suppose that we were left completely to our own devices right now for everything. You see, we could not take care of one organ of this body; it would all collapse. Even if you were to say, 'Okay, now this body was taken care of by God, but everything else was yours to live on your own devices,' it's just not possible once you see how all this moves so beautifully, intricately in His intelligence and grace.

So when we are proud, that aspect gets blocked from us, you see? And we start to see, 'I did this, this is how I planned it, this is how I did it.' You see, we get into that pride and then grace gets blocked from our vision. We are not able to see how beautiful, how impossible in worldly terms these things are, and yet they unfold for us on a daily basis. It's very uncomfortable when it becomes clear: 'I need God for everything, but I can't get it. I can't access Him.'

And that's beautiful. That's beautiful, actually. He said it feels very uncomfortable when I'm starting to actually realize that I need Him for everything, but it seems like I can't get Him. That is a prayer, actually. That prayer of helplessness of a child who's calling the mother, of an infant. It is my experience and blessing that this kind of realization doesn't go unanswered. It becomes an answered prayer very, very quickly if you retain that innocence. That insight, actually, you see, this innocence comes from inside. Because in the way of the world, we all think we're very smart. 'Must do like that, like that, and like this, and like that.' We think we can outmaneuver everything; we can manipulate things our way.

Once you start to realize that there's a greater power at work and we don't even know who we are, the contrast between that and this is so much that we are reduced to this bowing down position of humility. And that is the breaking of our pride, which seems very uncomfortable, like he said. It's very uncomfortable because we are attached to our fist being like this. Somebody's forcing it open; it doesn't feel like fun. But we are being made open-handed, and only open-handed can we serve God, surrender to God. But that process is uncomfortable.

So that's why in the modern world, we hardly come across that. We hardly come across that in the modern world. Nobody is saying 'bow down.' Only the few sages are saying 'bow down.' Everybody else: 'elevate, stronger, bigger, better, win the world, don't be a loser.' If children are not happy with something you're saying, they're like, 'This is what you know, loser.' L-sign, big L. So this whole condition is so deeply ingrained that we are not taught to be humble, be simple, be innocent. And in that, we keep putting on masks. Even one mask is too much, but we pick up so many masks in the world and our true nature gets hidden. Because then we are too scared to remove these masks, because we feel like without this, the world will see me as vulnerable, as not knowing as much as I seem to project. 'What will they think of me?' It seems scary. So we live in these narratives that we give to others, but we sometimes fool ourselves in our own narratives and we get caught up in them, and then that becomes a block, actually. You don't realize it happens.

We pick up so many masks in the world and our true nature gets hidden because then we are too scared to remove these masks. We feel like without this, the world will see me as vulnerable, as not knowing as much as I seem to project. What will they think of me? It seems scary, so we live in these narratives that we give to others. But we sometimes fool ourselves in our own narratives and we get caught up in them, and then that becomes a block. Actually, you don't realize it happens a lot in spirituality because anyone can say anything about what is happening inside, isn't it? Anyone can say anything about what is happening inside. Can another one really check? Maybe they get a sense of, you see, but if you're acting half reasonably well, you can convince them. But who are you actually fooling? Yourself in that process. And that is the classical error of taking the world to be real and forgetting about the audience of one. If you remember just that, the audience of one, then naturally we will be humble.

If you are ingrained with this condition of winning in this world, which all children are fed unfortunately, then okay, I have to win in the spirituality. So here, this doesn't mean nothing. You become the king of the universe in your dream and then you wake up, then what will happen? What's the point? What are we in front of God? As Hanuman Ji said, either I'm one with you or I'm your servant. Those are the two options. If I'm one with you, then there's no mouth; there's no need for this mouth to speak. And if I'm your servant, then everything I say must be in service to you, must be to bring everyone through his life through that Oneness. So this is a Leela that we cannot fathom. So you could, if you were sitting in front of Hanuman, you would say, 'How can you be one with God and also a servant?' Then he would say that when I go with my inside, I see the Oneness. When I notice my world play where my egoic identity, although minimized, still pulses, has some power, then that one has to just remain as your servant.

So is this Duality then? No, because you see that you are one. Is it non-Duality? No, because you see that you are a servant. That is why it is called Bhedabheda, which means distinction and yet non-distinction. And Achintya means you cannot think about it, you can't fathom it. It's Indescribable. But this is what your heart may show you, like any Zen koan. It can't be met intellectually, but we know this in our heart for ourselves. If some one of you can say that 'I'm just one with God, it's so clear that there's no Duality whatsoever,' you see, and 'I'm only speaking these words because I have to speak these words because you are prodding me,' you see, even in that, of course, the separation is apparent. But suppose it wasn't. Okay, then abide in that. But who can abide in that? Even the greatest sages prayed to God so much. Before you can visit Bhagavan's Samadhi, you visit the temple. How many gods are in the temple?

And if on the other hand somebody can say, 'I can be a full Bhakta without discovering the Oneness with him,' is it the Oneness of heart then? Even that I would question, because the fuel for Bhakti comes because our heart is invigorated by His heart, and can be invigorated only because they are one. So these seeming distinctions, we must not get involved in them conceptually. When you feel like bowing down and surrender, then bow down and pray. And in your heart, you feel like inquiring and noticing that you are pure awareness itself, and like that. But never in either case, don't value the 'me.' Either Oneness or servitude, don't elevate the 'me' to a winner. You can only win as a Lego brick. You feel like the analogy, the metaphor of the Lego world, is too far-fetched for this reality? It's not at all far-fetched. Please don't feel like it's too radical. This realm is nothing; it's like that only. So if you count the king of Lego world, nothing, it means nothing.

How beautiful is it that in such a simple way we can come to God. And it may not seem simple always, and that's part of the play, but in reality, it's just just that much. It's only a conditioning which makes us stubborn, makes us stubborn and we don't want to do this. We want to do this. Nobody has a better chance in finding God than any somebody. The nobody has a better chance. I would have said guaranteed, but nothing is entitled in God's kingdom. But if you take yourself to be nobody, a foolish beggar, and you don't use that itself as a means of Pride—see, because that itself can become a means of Pride—but if you do it truly by checking like this. He said so beautifully, I'm very touched by his report, that once you start to recognize that only He can do, I cannot do. Once you start to recognize that, and then but you still have this feeling that He has not come, that I'm not meeting Him, then that can be very upsetting. It can be very frustrating. But that is a holy longingness. It's a holy prayer to recognize your helplessness.

And some children reported today that life has put them in spots where they're feeling so helpless, feel like, 'What can I do? I have no moves left.' So that seems very difficult, but it's very auspicious. It's very, very good because we are never, never humble without that. Tulsidas Ji Maharaj said Sita Ji in the Ashok Vatika—okay, I'll give some context later on—was totally immersed in remembrance of Ram all the time, but outwardly tortured by the Rakshasis. He compared her experience with the man standing in the Ganges whose half part of the body was immersed in the Ganga experiencing the chilliness, and the other part of the body was exposed to the scorching midday sun experiencing heat. That was the state of Mata Sita Ji. Yes, maybe all of us too.

Now for this, I have some good news for you. You can seem like that, that we are trying to hold on to God, we are holding on to God, and yet Maya is trying to pull us back in. Temptations, identity, specialness, pride—all these things keep pulling us back in. Now, and all of us, most of us have had this experience, no, of walking in the Ganga or taking a dip in the Ganga. So if you're half immersed in the Ganga, does the rest of us experience heat, the rest of the body? Because that obviously, the temperature is cooling the whole body. So the same way, through this torturous Maya, if you hold on to God like she did, so although every possibility in the world was there for her to suffer, I don't feel like anyone was saying that, and Swami Ji was not saying that she was suffering. He was saying that in the scorching heat of the world, in the heat of Maya, we can still remain in the cool shadow of God's presence, in the cool light of God's presence, in the shield of God's presence, using just His name.

You know, whatever the method is, it is unimportant. If our focus is on Him, the method will come. But why people talk about His name is because just simply using a name, how simple can it get? And Maya, of course, hates that, so it will create the most resistance to even the most simplest thing. So this is a good example of how to remain in the scorching heat. When the world can seem hellish, then it can feel like we are being roasted in the fire of Maya. But to stay with God in our heart, what happens? This much I can tell you from my whatever little experience I have, that if you're with God, nothing is trouble, nothing is a problem. It's only when I forget Him and Maya says, 'No, you have to take the driving steering wheel,' that I start to get trapped in trouble. As I'm learning to remain more and more, so let this be your experiment. Let the world be whatever, including this body, let it do whatever, let it be whatever. You hand over yourself internally, inwardly to God fully and see what trouble there is. Try out this Ganga versus sun experiment.

So although we may say that is a spectrum, but moment to moment, if you're in God's presence, there is no hell, there is no trouble. This world is just in service to His light, a play, His Leela. We can say it's Maya Leela and like that. And when we are in the faults, when we are in individuality, Avidya, then the presence of God is not apparent as much as we would say, 'Yes, yes, I know He's here, I know He can never leave.' All that we'll say because we know. But the instant you've taken 'me' to be real, the 'me' to be your reality, His presence is not approachable, is not accessible, is not apparent. And whatever you may do, you cannot change that. So no ego—you could be the strongest one in the world, but you cannot get God to dance to your tunes, make Himself available when you are proud. And ego and pride more or less is the same thing.

So if you are 'me, me,' the doer, 'me' the knower, 'me' the experiencer, 'me' the whatever, the winner, then you may not notice it, but God's presence is not apparent to you. You're feeling disconnected in your heart. And then when you notice it, it is very auspicious that you noticed that. It means you didn't waste your whole life, that means that you noticed it. And you all have the tools to return. So use the tools full-heartedly with full faith, knowing that the outcome is fully up to Him, but you have to give it your all. Surrender yourself fully. And most of you are developing a dislike for the zombie taste, for the taste of zombie life. You're developing a dislike for it. So there will be times where you may not even notice why you're restless, you may not even be able to conclude and say what is happening with you, but somewhere there'll be that what the sages called the vyakula. It's a holy vyakula, like a holy restlessness, like a fish out of water, see? But you don't know why. You may feel like you're being anxious, something happened, you see, but actually now you're not enjoying the disconnection from God in your heart and you want to return.

And by God's grace, now you can sense these things and you can return back to the cool waters of the Ganga. Isn't it so simple this way? Like all of spirituality is this conversation. Because when you come to God's presence, all of Gyan is available to you. The highest Brahma Vidya is apparent to you. So that 'Aham Brahmasmi' is so naturally known like this in God's presence. And how difficult is it if you're just being conceptual about it? Because you can keep thinking, 'I am Brahman, I am Brahman, I am Brahman,' it is not going to do anything at all. But if you return to your heart, return to God's presence, then it is just the most natural knowingness of that you are, that you are Brahman itself. So that which seems so difficult in the world is made easy by God's presence and His grace, you see.

So He's the source of love, guidance, rest, ease. He changes our life from a barely palatable hell, a very barely manageable hell, to a beautiful unfolding. So that is why He is the one antidote to all the problems of this world, to all the poison of this world. You cannot say that this is beyond the scope of His presence handling, is it? You either have to accept this or you are fooling yourself. Like you cannot say, 'No, no, but this problem that I have, God can't do anything about it.' So if God can't do anything about it, then nobody can. All solutions come only from Him. So after hearing that He is all of this, we must make all the space in our life for Him. All the focus in our life must be Him because without that, no matter how hard we try, relationships don't work, money doesn't give peace, body is not at ease and rest.

Something beautiful we heard the other day, which is that God is the one that gives us rest, because without rest and sleep, where would we be? So keep your focus, keep everything about Him. One child said to me today—I hope she doesn't mind me saying it—she said to me that, 'I was like this and then I pray to Him, now I am all right, it's fine.' But at the center of that, you see, is still like a usage of God. 'Me,' the 'I,' is the central protagonist and God is incidental. So let's change that. Let's make it about Him and see what happens. How is this serving God now? How am I loving God now? How am I serving God now? How am I offering myself to God now? Instead of: how is God making me feel now? Are my feelings better? Is my life better?

She doesn't mind me saying it; she said to me that 'I was like this and then I pray to him, now I am all right.' It's fine, but at the center of that, you see, is still like a usage of God. Me, the 'I', is the central protagonist and God is incidental. So let's change that. Let's make it about him and see what happens. How is this serving God now? How am I loving God now? How am I serving God now? How am I offering myself to God now? Instead of: how is God making me feel now? Are my feelings better? Is my life better? Are my relationships better? And do you feel like a loving parent that he is? We will offer him ourselves to him and he will say, 'Let me mess up everything in this one life.' But the thing is, we don't understand what is good for us yet.

So that beautiful line where Tulsidas Ji—was it who said—'Whatever you do, God, whatever you do, Lord, is my best interest, is my help.' So whatever you do, for those who are beginners in spirituality, means everything that is unfolding in the world is God's will. Whatever you do. So it leads us to acceptance and surrender, you see. But those who are deepening in their spirituality must take it as a call to servitude. Whatever you do, I am empty of me. I offer this 'me' completely to you. Move me as you will. Is it? Move me as you will. Whatever you do is my best interest. I don't know, so I wait for your guidance. I don't know, so I wait for your will to move what I take myself to be.

Then we can come to this point of saying, whichever way God keeps us, stay that way. So those who are deepening in their spirituality cannot take charge, say 'me, me, me, me, me, me, everything,' and then when things all start falling apart, saying, 'Yeah, now you've kept me this way, I have to accept it.' No, but you went, you drove the car here, no? He said, did you make yourself available to him? Did you listen to his notes in the heart? When life itself showed you that you're going in the wrong direction, you said, 'I can still make this work.' You don't notice our inner prompting from Ram because we are proud. When we become humble, then we are so much more sensitive within.

So then if we've offered ourselves up fully, then we can say that this is your grace and I accept your grace because you know what is best for me. Yeah. So there will be some of us who will skim the surface, and it doesn't matter how long you've been in satsang or how short, but they will skim the surface of what is being shared. They will come to satsang and find some relief, which is fine. But my blessing, my intention for all of you, is to dive deep. Unceasing satsang, prayer, surrender, insight, inquiry. And that is no sacrifice. That is—it may seem like it—it is actually a great gift you can give to yourself. Dive deep because there's no time. There's no time to waste. Be a nobody in your eyes. Let God be the only somebody in your life. Then you will see the beauty of his love, his light, his grace.

What gets in the way? Only our mind. Only our ideas of what life should be like. Only the mind. Only the next thought. Just let it go. How am I being with God now? Is his presence palpable to me? Or how am I loving God now? Am I loving full-heartedly or is my focus divided? How am I serving God now? Am I—is this for me or am I in service to his will? Am I listening? One sweet definition of prayer was to go to your heart, to his presence, and just listen. So am I making myself available to listen to him or is my prayer just telling him what to do? Can we spend a few minutes every day just going to him and listening to him instead of telling him, instead of wanting in front of him, to listen to what he wants?

Of course, I'm giving you all the sprinklings. You don't have to pick up everything and follow. Nobody can follow everything. But whatever resonates in your heart gets seeded somewhere. Then we'll flow and soon then you will get the strength, the spiritual strength of a warrior. That the mind doesn't want you to pray, you pray more. The mind says waste your time and do this thing, you will deepen in your heart. He'll grow, your spiritual muscles will grow by his grace. But you have to commit yourself. If you hedge your bets, you can't commit yourself. Your most insurmountable problems will become light like feathers. Nothing can really trouble you then. Just rest with him. Rest in his heart. Don't take things onto yourself. Don't make anything personal. All God's, God.

Dear Father, please help this restless and helpless child to not give up. Faith shakes but gets restored over and over. It gets harder and harder to recover, though. This helplessness is very hard for this stubborn child to accept. Please pray that the grace is received for faith to be stronger than doubt and no defeat can overcome this longing to be in truth and Oneness with God. That's very good, very good. Now the hands up. Okay, let's go to K.

Hello Father. Um, I put my hand up because I was separated because then I was very separated from God. I—there is some sort of last circumstance, I, me, probably from an ego pride perspective, yeah. And then I still get involved and um, yeah.

So it sounds like you outlined the problem and the solution. You just have to—like Shiv said—we just have to do it.

I couldn't do it by myself and that's a bit of a worry.

Let's say you just—that 'by do it' it means only to try to follow the pointing, follow the way that the Masters have shown us. The 'doing it' is not the doing it in the worldly sense of doing it. It is not about doership. It is about just making ourselves available, making ourselves empty for him and not getting involved with pride, like you said, egotism, pride. So we try and we fail, we try and we fail. It's okay. We just have to keep trying. Our patience must become really vast because his ways are beyond understanding. So if we are in a heart relationship with the one whose ways are beyond understanding, then the only way to remain in that relationship is with patience. Is it? Yeah. So you get perturbed, flustered, you after a day or two just stay in it, stay still.

Can you explain this a bit more?

Yes. That you felt a sense of disconnection. You noticed that it can come because you feel proud in some aspect of life or some relationship, something like that. And then we feel that we want to return but we still feel disconnected. But for that we just need a lot of patience because he knows best how not to make us arrogant, how not to make us complacent, and how not to make it feel like it is a dial of God service, you see. In the sense we can—otherwise it can feel like, 'Oh, I can be egotistical, proud.' Not that you're doing it, I'm just saying that this is how we learn. Otherwise what would happen? Suppose that we were egotistical and proud for a long part of our life and it was a guarantee that we just have to turn to him and his presence is there, and therefore because his presence is there everything is okay, you see? Then we would become very proud and complacent and there would be no sense of not having to leave him because he's always available.

So he knows what is the right dosage of medicine. Is he like a mother knows how much to feed every child? So we have to go to him, to her, like a helpless child that we are, and then we have to be patient and faithful to recognize that her love is going to take care of us and she knows best, you see. So you must never feel like, 'But I'm not able to do it.' None of us are able to do it. None of us can control the outcome, which is his light, his presence. But all of us are able to try. All of us are able to try and remain empty, not fall for the mind's hypnosis. So that much, that much we can all strive for. We must all offer ourselves fully in that way. And if you offered your heart fully to him, then it's all up to him then.

So what can stop us from offering our heart fully to him? The stupidity?

Yes, yes, yes. But now we have the tools at least to recognize stupidity and not fall for it, isn't it? But after having the tools, having the ability to recognize, to not offer our heart fully to him must only come from like a stubborn sort of pride or stubborn sort of place. So we must deconstruct that whole environment, you see, and rebuild it with a sheer innocence and simplicity. Just start fresh. Empty yourself of all spiritual knowledge, all spiritual experience, everything, and start afresh like a newborn infant. And then tell me if something is not working, if he's not answering your—say to God that 'All that I am is for you. Everything here is yours. All that I am is for you and everything here is yours.' Very good, very good. Thank you. Bless you, bless you. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much, Father.

Welcome, very welcome. Let's go to Sam.

Hi Father. Hello, hello. Thank you so much, Father.

You're welcome, welcome.

Today I felt a little bit ashamed to come in front of you. Can you hear me well?

Just about, just about.

One second, one second. I will try again. Is this better? Okay, thank you. Thank you, Father. My connection is not so good but today—oh good, Father. Yes, I'm in the midst of—it's nothing, Father. I just wanted to come because I still could not trust fully. So I just wanted to come and hold your hand.

Just very good. Bless you, bless you so much. It's nothing, Father. Yes, like yes. And just thank you, thank you so much, Father. This is how our spiritual muscles, they grow. Because things would seem so difficult earlier on the outside, then they seem like they're fine by God's grace. He's taking care of everything. Sometimes I feel a little weak and my teacher is there to support me and to bless me, to hold my hand. And deeper and deeper like this. Yes, just when our only attention and direction becomes God, everything, everything is—nothing is a problem anymore. Nothing.

Yes, exactly, exactly. Yes, thank you. You may like this and thank you for this.

What about Mone? You want to come, dear? Thank you for calling me. Thank you. Yeah, I was listening as much as I can, yeah, taking it fully in and yeah, good. Maybe just some rest also will do some good. And um, you have all the tools now. You have everything available to you and we are meeting soon anyway, so it'll be good. By his grace, it'll all be good. Thank you, thank you. You're welcome. Thank you, thank you. All my love, all my blessings. Thank you, thank you.