God Is So Faithful - He Keeps Giving Us Everything That We Need - 17th May 2024

That's true. So we get... you'll get the hang of it the more... it's a bulky dialect. Some people still talk like that over there.

How old is the original?

1600s. So not ancient. 1600s is after centuries of Advaita, along with Mirabai. No, this was written in... this version of the Ramayan was written by Tulsidas Ji in the 1600s. It just came to him, right? It's his, completely his. But he's, I'm sure, studied it all his life. He gives all praise to Valmiki, all those people at the beginning. Valmiki wrote it first. Most likely, at least the first known version is Valmiki. It must be harder to read. It's Sanskrit. So Sanskrit is a different language, ancient language. The first, first ever. And there's a different Hindi. This is Awadhi, and then the translation is Hindi. Okay, that's why it's a Hindi translation. I'll also order some English ones if somebody wants. So if you want to get a hang of reading it, because reading it without singing is difficult. So let's see if the tune comes. So excuse the bad singing, but just to get a hang of the tune.

So I'm reading page three of Bal Kand, because the Doha is done in a different tune, and the Chaupais are done in a different tune, and the Sorathas are done in a different tune. So start with the second part of page three. So this has... so that is the approximate tune. Try again. That's the meter. Nice. Just humoring me, sounds... but understood.

So this is very beautiful, actually. This one I read before. So this part, like Shri Guru Pada, this beautiful statement here which goes... so what is he talking about? He's saying that the holy feet of the Satguru is like the stone which gives light everywhere. Wherever it goes, whatever it touches becomes gold. So whoever comes in contact with the Satguru's feet then gets the Divya Drishti, which means the divine insight within their hearts. And then this holy light, whoever gets it, are the luckiest ones. Isn't this exactly what we talk about in Satsang? That it's all about coming to that holy spirit, the holy insight of the God's presence within our hearts, so that our life can become enlightened in this way. And those for whom this holy light becomes apparent, those are truly blessed. Okay, let's go to the next page.

So the Doha is in a different tune because the meter is different. So what they say you have to do is you have to add 'Ram' at the end. So it'll go... so then it becomes in the same meter, otherwise it's a different way to... everything is what he wrote. He wrote the Chaupai, the Doha, the Soratha, everything. So when you do the reading traditionally, you read the Doha, read all the Chaupais between the Dohas, and come to the next Doha and you pause over there. Then next day you read the next Doha again, then the Chaupai. And then the Chaupai is the four-part one. The four-part, yeah. Then Doha again. Or you could have a Soratha. Soratha is different. It's reverse meter. It starts with the Soratha. The book I'm reading, they tell you when to stop. I read the Ramayan in nine days.

If you read from Doha to Doha, then it should be a year or something because it's very short.

You can sing it now. Per day is one method, yes. There is after every Chaupai... which Chaupai videos? The YouTube that I think... every... this is the... this is only... then that tune will... maybe this... there is a very different tune for the Chaupai. So I don't know whether this tune will go with that. Please, this is the one, the one that... the one where he... this is how the Chaupai is done. So if you were to try that, so we would be... so if you go to the Doha at the end of page three, yeah, one minute, we just try this one.

But then to come back to this tune is very difficult with the Chaupai if you do this. So then that's why he only said later that it's better to keep singing in the Chaupai tune and add that 'Sita Ram' at the end or 'Ram' at the end. Yeah, to switch back is tough. The Aarti is in Bal Kand much further down. There are many Aartis in the book. After that is explained. So this is just in the beginning, he's just sharing about bowing down to the gods, bowing down to the Masters, and then he talks about not getting caught in bad company and finding the Satsang of a Guru, finding the right people, because bad company then, you know, is contaminated in that way. So he's talking about some of that. Then after that the story will start.

Used in drama is the Valmiki?

Lot of it is from here. Most of the singing ones are all from here. That's... yeah, you find... I don't know whether it's a Soratha or no. No, it's very much in the... like this whole what we played just now, the 'Abhi', 'Abhi' is also from here. And in fact, I've got it from here. It should say the page number. Does it say 185? Ah, 185 Bal Kand. Not page number, some words or section. All the dialogues are also sung. Yeah, everything, everything in the Kirtan. Traditionally the Gurus would read the Chaupai, the Doha, and then they would share, make a commentary on it. There are many traditions where this is all they do. In the Guru Parampara, this is all that they do. They just refer to Ramacharitmanas and read from there and then they talk about what the Master is telling us. There's another tradition where you just read the Bhagavatam.

Krishna at school?

The kids... it's very... not in school now, at least not in the city schools. Yeah, maybe religious schools, some traditional schools, some Vedic schools. There are so many such huge... so much said in poetry that is so beautiful. So his... one of his contemporaries was Rahim Ji. Rahim Ji also wrote so many Dohas. Then the previous generation was Kabir Ji, who was very famous for Dohas. And all the Dohas we usually hear are from Kabir in that tone. This is after about one or two generations after Kabir. We were looking the other day, Kabir was in the 1500s something and Tulsidas Ji in the 1600s something. They had correspondence between them. Between Mirabai and Tulsidas Ji, there was corresponding. Yeah, everything, isn't it? It's completely different today.

Should we get back to regular programming or stay in this mode? It'll be nice if we do this little, little every day. Then after a year or two years, you'll be good at singing the Ramayan. It'll be so nice. And some of you will be... I won't be good at it. You're better singers. Who knows, after five years somebody comes to Satsang, it may only be Ram Katha. Half Ram, half Bible reading. Today we will cover this chapter following this Bible reading plan. So we can have a multi-religion, multi-traditional reading plan. This much Gita, this much Ramayan, this much Bible, this much... I missed it.

No, I just actually just coincidentally I came across the Gospel of St. Thomas. Yeah, and actually not a saint, Gospel of Thomas. I understand it's... I know very little about the Bible so I'm not qualified to talk about it, but I understand that it's not part of the Bible. But these were a separate set of writings which were discovered, dated back to around 60 AD. And the thing is that it just reads like a pure exploration of Consciousness. So unlike the Bible itself, which is much more... what's the right word for it? Phenomenal and you know, sort of... this is purely metaphysical in terms of the whole discovery, the Oneness being so... I mean, I just thought it was really remarkable because it understands Consciousness.

Gospel of Thomas is supposed to be nice, but also the Bible itself is very much the whole message of Jesus, the whole message of the Old Testament which Jesus is making clear to everyone in the New Testament. Just like Lord Krishna made clear in the Gita, the whole message of the Upanishads is that within you is God's presence. The Kingdom of Heaven is within you. The light of the Holy Spirit is within you. And everywhere, if you really read the Bible, you will see that all that is shared, especially by Jesus's mouth, is just to point us to that. Just to point us to that. And I don't feel like if you follow, for example, the Sermon on the Mount, then it may seem like... but it's very phenomenal, it's very worldly, you see. But I don't feel like without that, without those pointings, without that love, without that devotion, without that faith, it is not possible at all to come to God's presence, to God's life. So it all is very beautiful in that way.

So before, I was saying that before understanding Christianity to the little bit of extent that I do now, I used to feel also that it's about worldly things and like that. It's not. But it's very, very, very, very direct at times and very, very deep and beautiful. Religion is about being a good Christian, that's the way that is interpreted, at least back home. It is about being a good Christian, about being a good person, following the... it becomes like that. All religions. Like people who read the Ramayan, people who read the Gita will also get messages of how to be a better person in society, how to be a good person. But really that is like... like some teacher used to say that sometimes you get very worried about the skin of the banana and you forget there's a banana inside. But a banana also cannot exist without the skin. So it's very important, both these things go hand in hand. You cannot be proud and arrogant and terrible and cheating everyone every day and lying everywhere and then saying, 'I want to just inquire and come to God's presence.' That just won't happen. So the thing is that even God's presence has been made into like a almost a phenomenal endeavor, like a scientific endeavor, which it isn't really. It's purely an endeavor of faith.

A banana also cannot exist without the skin, so it's very important. Both these things go hand in hand. You cannot be proud and arrogant and terrible and cheating everyone every day and lying everywhere and then saying, 'I want to just inquire and come to God's presence.' That just won't happen. So the thing is that even God's presence has been made into almost a phenomenal endeavor, like a scientific endeavor, which it isn't really. It's purely an endeavor of faith. Even to inquire properly, if your mind is full of pride and trouble, then it won't let you sit in peace in the inquiry. It's just not possible. So in the pathway to God, everything gets cleaned up.

Suppose that you're doing inquiry every day and that's all you do, and that's fine. That's completely fine. But in the process, your pride will fall off, your faith will deepen, you see? Your love will grow. You'll find yourself much more kind and compassionate just with doing the inquiry—like proper, proper inquiry. Or as you follow the prayer, dive deeper within yourself in devotion and humility and faith and love and devotion, then your eyes, your inner insight, will become so clean. Otherwise, if you're full of grasping in your nature, your inner insight won't open up.

So both things are not different from each other. In actuality, all paths will lead to the same. Because where does goodness... how do we know that to tell the truth is better than to lie? All of these things universally come from where? Like, how does even a child know that to be kind is better than to be unkind? Although they do many unkind things, but they know somewhere that they're making a mistake. So where does all of that come from? The same presence. You see? So God's light, God's presence, also is the lightbearer of how to live in the world.

You try coming to satsang after you've been angry or rude or bad or unkind, you see? It'll take you much more to settle into satsang. Even the satsang environment, you see, on that day you'll feel much more difficult to become a part of than if you just followed and been kind and loving and compassionate and truthful. So some of the things we just naturally know, correct? Exactly. Why does everyone universally want to be happy? Where does this universality come from, independent of tradition, independent of culture, independent of anything where we are?

So everything that has the hand of the Holy Spirit... like, it's impossible for a human, if they spend every minute of their life on this, to make this. It's impossible. So it has to be guided by the spirit. It has to be something takes you over. When the—not a comparison at all—but I remember when the prayer of the 'Beggar Servant' came from here, it just sprouted out from my heart. It was not... nothing was being thought about or censored or changed or evaluated. Just the spirit takes a hold of you. Your Atma holds your hand literally at a point and makes you operate in this way.

So when these beautiful things come, then it is the hand of the Atma. It is the hand of the Holy Spirit that guides the instrument to write that beautiful thing. That is why we can trust scripture like the Gita or the Bible or any of this, because it has come from the Atma. Who are the scribes of the Bible? There were those who could hear. They could hear the same as the scribes of the Vedas, who were the Rishis. They were the ones that could hear. But hear what? Shruti. And it is said that it is written by Shruti. So they could hear, and then initially in India, then they would spread it orally, verbally. Then writing instruments, all this was created, so then that oral tradition got written down. So that became the Vedas.

At the end of the Vedas, then the 'anta'—the end of the Vedas used to have these smaller books called the Upanishads, you see? So that is why the Upanishads are called the Vedanta, at the end of the Vedas. So those Upanishads then also were heard by the Rishis and they came like that. But then, just like the Torah, there's so much to follow in the Upanishads that it became very difficult to follow. So God in His mercy gave us the Gita so that we can follow what is written in the Upanishads. The same thing happened with the Jewish tradition, the Torah, and there's so many things to follow that Jesus came and said it very simply: everything, but fundamentally love God with all your mind, right, and do the same with your neighbor. It is love. Whether it is inside, whether it is servitude, as long as it is offered to God, we are on the right track.

So that also answers the question in terms of... because there's so much beauty, so many beautiful pathways to God's light. And what should we do? Should we read the Bible now? Should we read the Ramacharitmanas? Should we read the Bhagavatam? Should we read the Gita? Should we read the Upanishads? Even in this conversation, so many things are mentioned, and so many sages have then written their own commentaries on variations on everything. So then what should we do? What you should do is what feels right in your heart, you see? Like you'll read a page or you read a few words and something will start opening up within you. They start opening up inside you, and if that happens, then we must dive deeper in.

Besides that, you have the teacher to tell you what to do. So it's not linear in the sense that everything like this brings you to God. God's presence many times, God's presence itself brings you many of these things, because we cannot fathom the way God works. You stay with Him, then you resonate also more with holy things. If you're resonating with holy things, it means you are with the Atma within. If you're not resonating with holy things in the world, you see, you're getting attracted to things which are just Maya, then you need to dive in more to your heart. So that composer within guides you. The Atma's presence within guides you very well.

So how can I help? And preferably help her with the task at hand, with the project, so to speak.

No, you were talking before about the right company, and I'm not sure how to formulate this, but it seems that there is a strong sensitivity here. And whenever I'm surrounded by the Master or the Sangha, it does have an impact on the inner space. And I'm about to go to a place where the environment will be quite, quite, quite, quite, quite different. And I don't know, there have been some thoughts about that and asking you about that. I guess it comes now because of what you said about the right company, and sometimes I feel like I don't know how to put boundaries or how to stay... and there have been provocations in the past from some of these people where there is a lack of maturity in some of them. And I don't know, maybe nothing... these thoughts are not necessary and everything's fine, but sometimes I feel like I'm not strong enough to hold my ground.

Yes, we have to become strong in that way. So in the same way, Kabir Ji said that bad company can spoil, you know, can really spoil us with this in every way. But the one who is truly firm in God's light, they then can fix the bad company also.

I'm not like... I'm not strong enough.

So what stops you from being like that? What stops you from being like that? Is it that you want something from them? In the sense, you want to be liked by them? You want their approval? What makes us not firm in God's presence? It's when we... why do we try to fit in to that which even we are saying is bad company? So why would we want to fit in?

Maybe there is no such a big interest. I feel that there actually should be more interest because it is a work environment, so I should care a little bit more about fitting in, which is not something that I have traditionally done. But I think it would behoove me to actually blend in a little bit better.

So yeah, to just be in with God's light, and then if that light makes you fit in to other places, then fine. If it doesn't, then fine. Why would it behoove you to fit in? Because... let's not even say work for a moment. Let's say if we had a group of friends which was really like bad company—all the bad habits, addictions, just no interest in God, just really bad company. Then because they are our only friends, should we try to fit in? Suppose I had a friend group like that and after satsang they just come and visit me every day, and then you heard that along with them, to fit in, Ananta is also doing all the bad habits that they are doing. Then what would you say?

But then it's easier in that case because in that case naturally you start... because I have a beard and long hair, what is easy? But in the case of friends, you naturally... ah, you're saying friends.

So friends is okay. Friends, we can be ourselves no matter what.

Yes, either you are yourself or if it becomes so different that it doesn't sustain this new way of life, then it just... so now, okay, so fine. Now you're saying about work.

Yeah, it's different. Work. So then if you don't fit in, what will... as it is, AI is taking over everything, sir. As it is, AI is taking over. I don't know why.

So yeah, I guess that it's going to become pretty earthly, this conversation. But yeah, it is about the economic situation, how things are doing, going in Argentina and yeah.

So what do you need to live when you're living in God's life? Yeah, what do you need? What is the economic situation that you need to take care of if you're living in God's life? And just something more is coming to say. So I promise you that if you are in His presence, then you will not miss anything in the world, you see? And if you're not in His presence and you're the king of the world, it won't be enjoyable, you see? It may be pleasurable but not really enjoyable. So the only switch we need to make is over there. The only switch we need to make is over there. And we've seen that when you are living in God's presence, then everything seems like heaven. It doesn't matter.

That's true. Yeah, true. I guess it's hard to sustain the closeness to God most of the time. It's an effort to do it.

So we must make that effort. We must make that effort. And satsang, all that is shared—the books, the reading, the singing, the prayer, the inquiry—everything is so that it becomes easier for you to stay in God's presence. So the sages have defined for us the pathways within Maya to be able to leave Maya, because it seems like we live within Maya for some time. So as long as it seems like we live within Maya for some time, the sages have appeared within, seemingly within this realm of Maya in their outer embodiment, leading us to the inner embodiment within our heart where our true life is, where our true living resting place is.

So use whatever means God makes available to you to return to His life. We have to use everything that you see in the world to remember God, to go back to God. Anything that you see in the world reinforces 'me, me, me,' then leave it. And from my experience, it is not that God just leaves you. No, you can't do anything, you see? So I'm not talking about anything on the outer, because living in God's presence, He has taught me so many things that were needed in the world I would never have learned otherwise. So that you just need to trust. Whatever is needed, He will give if it is really needed. Otherwise, our mind is making up the need. Is it hearing what I'm saying? Whatever is needed He will give, otherwise the mind is making up a need which is not really a need.

Yeah, exactly. Like there is this idea I need to make a bigger effort to connect with these beings, and I feel even more alien around some of these beings than I did before.

And yeah, if it is God's will or if it is the destiny that that does happen, then it will be so. It will. If it is God's will and you're following God's will... so let me repeat this part again. So it is true that every single thing that has ever happened happens in God's will, but it is also true that within God's will we can follow or not follow God's will, you see? And this we cannot...

I made a bigger effort to connect with these beings, and I feel even more alien around some of these beings than I did before. And yeah, if it is God's will or if it is the destiny that that does happen, then it will be so.

It will. If it is God's Will and you're following God's will—so let me repeat this part again. So it is true that every single thing that has ever happened happens in God's will, but it is also true that within God's will we can follow or not follow God's will, you see? And this we cannot understand with the mind. I was saying the other day that it looks like He has much more faith in us than we have in Him, you see? So therefore, within His broad will, He has given us this opportunity to either love or separate, isn't it? And He must have faith, otherwise nobody would let their child go like that, you see? He must have the faith that this child will ultimately pick love. So whether we have faith in Him or not, definitely He is faithful; He's full of faith in us. So every moment, in spite of our sheer absurd stupidity, He keeps allowing us to pick between head and heart. And does it all happen within God's will? Of course it does, but it's not linear in the way that we feel it is, because in Consciousness, which is all there is, every single possibility that can be fathomed also is. It's not limited. So you visit for yourself the possibility where you are living in God's life.

And then what must happen is that for all of us in satsang, God's will must no longer remain notional or must no longer remain an inference, saying, 'Oh, whatever is happening must be God's will.' Why do we have to infer? You can ask Him. If you can meet God, if we can be in His presence, then He can guide us also. So we have to completely move away from just the conceptual spirituality to an applied spirituality, a lived spirituality. And to live spiritually has to be lived in spirit, with spirit. So many people talk so many things about spirituality, but talking about spiritual is not spirituality, is it? To live in spirituality is to live in spirit. So are we living in spirit, or at least are we trying with everything that we've got?

Now, what is missing for us? What is missing for us? Every tool is at our disposal. In the olden days, you would not have Google, you would not have access. You would go to an ashram; the teacher would make you sweep the floors for ten, fifteen years till you're open enough to hear what he's saying, you see? But now every tool is at our disposal. And I ask any of you, you will be able to say what this one says, what this one says, what this one says, what this one says. So every tool is available, whether the teacher is modern or the sage is traditional, historic—you know what they have said. All the pointings are available to us now. We just have to move away from our head and start living what we have learned. Our buffet is now full of ways to God; now we just have to eat. You keep filling the buffet and don't eat. We keep hearing about emptiness and openness, but we don't become open and empty. We keep hearing about love and devotion, faith, humility, but we don't become loving, devotional, faithful, empty, humble.

So for more than a year, I've been ranting about this lip-service spirituality. So I'm not saying for you; you're doing. I'm just saying generally, all of us are still not fully, fully, fully following—and including this one, where I become conceptual so often, I become foolish and go with my own terms so often. So all of us need to apply. It doesn't matter what the situation is. Grasping is just picking up, building the spiritual encyclopedia, just keep on taking some more things and things. But the application of what are the symptoms of that? We have learned, but we are not applying. The number one symptom of that is that we think the problem is still outside. The problem is in the world, the problem is in my bank account, the problem is in my relationship, the problem is in my body, the problem is in my intellect—whatever. Okay, in at least definitely there's a problem because our intellect is full of judgment and foolishness. But everything is about what's happening inside of us. And at the root of all of that is that very primal choice between head and heart. Primal choice between knowing for ourselves and following God. Loving the 'me' or loving God. Pride in ourselves or faith in God. Whichever way you look at this choice, which is actually beyond words, whichever way you look at this choice, moment to moment we are in this. And whichever we get accustomed to, that starts to seem like home.

So if you're living in the mind, then that seems normal and it seems like we need some relief from time to time by coming to satsang, but that seems like home. If you get used to living in the presence, then touching the mind will seem like trouble. It will seem like you left your home; it will seem like you disconnected in your heart. Stay at home. Let the images change. If you can just let the images change, it makes it very simple how to manage the world, how to manage our life. Let the energies change. You don't grasp or you don't push; let them change. What is happening to you? So the environment changes from this environment to conference to friends to whatever. Let the images change. What is happening to you? You're holding on to your heart, you're holding on to your inside, you're holding on to your love, you're holding on to His presence.

Because where's the mic? They still need it for Zoom. So silly, because it's like we want to stay chained. So I just—I was just looking at that. It's yeah, it's like we picked up these notions of how things are supposed to be, or how the personality is hindering something, or how—and we can be free every moment. And it was just—and we choose to be bound. And it's just so stupid because we have the chance to be free every second. It's just that these things, because they have been there for so long, they seem true.

But yeah, so whatever we take ourselves to be—so suppose this body is almost six feet. Out of that, the troublemaking part is just a few inches, is it? How? Three, four inches. Now, without this, where is the trouble in the six feet? It's not that everything wants us bound. It's not that everything wants us to be caught up in this. It's just an aspect of our existence, an aspect of our being, which is not actually physically here, but just to explain. Now, without this being chained—we are obsessed with this aspect of our being. That is the illness. That is the illness. What satsang is a rehab for is the addiction to this small aspect. Even if you consider yourself body, which you're not, is anything else resisting anything? Are your hands like resistant to change? Change is happening, but your hands—see, they're not doing this. Your head is resistant to change. So that classical idea of from head to heart is all this.

And you have so many tools. If anyone just reads this book, doesn't do anything else, he'll come to God with full integrity and fear. If anyone reads the Ashtavakra Gita, anyone reads the Bible, anyone reads the Gita, anyone does the inquiry, anyone remains open and empty, anyone prays, anyone just loves God full-heartedly—they'll come to God. God will come to them. God is already with them, but the presence will become palpable for them. So all the tools are there for you. Any good satsang you go to—it doesn't have to be this one—any satsang can lead you to God. Everything is there, but we have to just follow. Actually, just give up one thing, you'll come to God. What is that one thing? I've said it often. Pray? No. Do? No. Give up? No. You don't even have to do anything. Just don't be proud. What is the most lethal form of pride? Knowledge that 'I know.' Not knowledge itself, but the knowledge that 'I know.' There's nothing that blocks us in life more than 'I know.' So that's what innocence is about. Just become innocent. Then something is coming—I don't know whether it's good for me, bad for me. Something is going—I don't know what it means. But then to presume that we know is false, right? Because we can never know. We can never know. Only God knows. And if you truly want to follow God, then just allow Him to guide your every step. You don't know why is God getting you like this.

I was just remembering—I told you just now—that having said all this, and with all the recent worry that there's been about work and stuff, the biggest opportunities that I got in the work realm were when I was just sitting here in front of you doing nothing but just listening to you. And that goes so against everything that I had done before satsang, because it was such an effortful kind of background that I had. And those ideas about how it's supposed to be somehow still have some existence there. So even though I have proof that it's not true, something still feels that or thinks that it should be that way.

Exactly. This is the point that is coming again and again to say today: that God is so faithful, He keeps giving us everything that we need. We still don't turn to Him fully, and He still keeps giving us everything we need because He is faithful. He feels like He has faith in us. One day they will come; they are turning, they are learning, they will come. So He is—and He's so humble in the sense that it may not sound like it when we read a scripture or something like that, but if I was the creator of this entire universe and my own children were forgetting me, I would not be like, 'Okay, do, play, play, play, okay, come.' I'd be like—but God is humble, so He doesn't force it. He doesn't force the issue. But it is not possible for us to live as if we are in His presence without being in His presence, you see? That in His kindness, He has not designed for us, otherwise we'll always forget our true Self. So as humble and faithful as He may be, He has not made it such that it feels like we are in His presence when actually in His absence we are blocking ourselves with our pride, with our ego, with our lies, with our ambition, with us putting our brothers and sisters down, with us wanting to win—which is to value this lump of flesh more than the lumps of flesh around you. Actually, it is a nonsensical idea.

This whole culture of winning and being first and all that is very ludicrous, actually. But we have been fed these things since we were children, like you're saying, that we are taught to do like that, then you will succeed. Do like this, you go network. See, what is network? What is network? Have you contemplated? Network is basically to try and fake friendship. You just go—actually you want business from them, but you're faking being friendly with them and just talking. You're talking because your intention actually is selfish. Maybe I'm being too skeptical; that's how the world works to a large extent. But who is going to change that if not God's children? If not us, then who is going to change it? Is there any group besides satsangis that you know that you feel are capable enough of changing this? Any group of humans who are not in like satsang, in spiritual satsang, that you know are capable enough of changing this? The change has to come from within. So when these kind of questions come, my question is really literally that rhetorical thing: if not us, then who? Who is going to change it? This is how the world works, but then if change is going to come, or something can be shown to the world that we don't have to live like that, then who is responsible for that if not those who are in satsang like this? So don't underestimate God's light which is shining in your heart. It may change—your heart may change the whole universe. Remember that. In His light. So the world is like that. If the world is selfish and obsessed with winning and false-faking friendship and faking love and wanting something in return for everything, and it has to—the truth of it is different. The reality of it is different. Whose life has to be an example of that? Us. Because if those who have found the way to God, found the right path, then say, 'But everybody else is doing that, so I also have to,' then there's no point. So everyone is afflicted by Maya, no doubt about that.

The world is like that. If the world is selfish and obsessed with winning and feigning friendship and feigning love and wanting something in return for everything, the truth of it is different. The reality of it is different. Whose life has to be an example of that? Us. Because if those who have found the way to God, found the right path, then say, 'But everybody else is doing that, so I also have to,' then there is no point. So everyone is afflicted by Maya, no doubt about that. But those who are coming closer to the escape, they cannot jump back into Maya because everybody else is caught up in Maya. Their bodies may still participate in it, but inwardly they can belong to God. Chin is showing us how to do that. Chin is demoing how to do that. Her body is participating, but inwardly she's with God. No, no, you can—it's a good demonstration in the sense that we can continue to be in work, our bodies can participate in the world, but as long as your heart belongs to God, you'll be fine.

I got my laptop because there was one sheet which had to be completed by end of day. Somehow I'm like, don't even feel like doing it because of being in satsang. Like, I'm listening to you. One question: allow it to... the thing is that there are a lot of times when I feel that it's quite effortless to do the inquiry or prayer or to listen to you. But of late, last couple of days, I've been experiencing that it's pretty like I'm forcing myself, you know, to inquire or to pray or to even listen to you. So at such times, I don't know like what... I mean, of course you will suggest us to keep at it.

Yeah, those are the times that are dangerous in the sense that when it is at ease, when God's presence is so gently present without even needing any sort of practice, any sadna, nothing, then we just be grateful to him and we say, 'So merciful you are, so graceful you are, that you're gifting me this presence.' And I have been just, you know, caught up in my own stuff. The other day it happened like that, and I was just involved in some stuff, I don't know what, and I was just sitting and his presence was so strong. So I just turned to him and said, 'How are you so loving? How can you be so loving that I have been for the last ten, fifteen minutes caught up in some I don't know what, and you just showed me that you're still here? How is it like that?'

So those times, of course, we are blessed and we are graced by his presence and we must be grateful for that. We must not ever feel that we are entitled to that. So gratitude is very beautiful for that. But when it seems like it just—it's like, no, something just blocks. Like she was telling me about this child who just, in spite of understanding everything in satsang, hearing everything in satsang, you see, she just like made a block for herself. She just like, 'No, no, it's not happening right now. I'm fine, I don't need to do this.' Somebody comes to... so, but this is the way Maya has worked for so many children who have come to me also for so many years. You've probably seen so many of them come and go where they seem to be so fully into it and one day just some trick of Maya happened, just like the Narad story and so many stories like that. Just like that, something happened and it just seemed like first it's like, 'I'm going to balance it out a bit more.' Then it becomes like, 'Okay, I'll go once a month.' Then it's like, 'Okay, I'll watch online.' Then it becomes like, 'Okay, I don't know whether he is good anyway. You know, I know what he's sharing. I think I'll just find another path.' Then the other path has nothing to do with God, not spiritually.

Because we don't recognize that in the world, what could the mind be most scared of, or Maya be most wary of? What would it be? That which is talking about being in God's presence. So satsang, teacher, all of that. So it is going to feed you things: work, this, that, whatever. Say that is priority. And actually what is being de-prioritized is God. It just sometimes comes like that. Sometimes it just creeps up on us. So as we are becoming more and more soft inside, we start to notice more and more of these things. You notice that mind attacks have various forms. They're not always like that. Sometimes they are very friendly also. 'Today you don't pray, it's okay. You need a break today. No inquiry, you know who you are.'

But Father, at such times really I feel that it's a very helpless situation, you know, at such times because it doesn't feel good to be in a space where you are unable to...

That's very good. It's really, at least as long as it doesn't feel good to us, at least we are safe. Yeah, yeah. Because when that starts feeling good to us, that is when we are in trouble. When defiance of God, or not being in his presence and not being subservient to his will and not offering our heart completely to him—when that starts feeling good, that is when we get into trouble. As long as we recognize something within us calling us back, that actually is a very auspicious medicine, although it may not feel good. Because imagine if you stayed away from God and that felt good? Then that would really take us away, isn't it? Then that would be much more compelling.

It can be, yeah.

So we start to notice all these various forms of the mind attacks. Sometimes like this, sometimes stick, sometimes carrot. It tries to pull you anyway out of God's life. So just keep coming to satsang, keep following, keep doing your prayer as much as you can, even if it feels forceful.

I should do?

Yes, yes, even more. Because like I said, if you don't want to pray, then you must pray more. If you don't want to inquire, you must inquire more. Because then the mind at least will try to find some new tactic, because otherwise we keep falling for the same old tricks of the mind. So if it says, 'No, no, today you do like this,' and you say, 'Okay, I'm going to chant one more Mala,' you see, then it'll have to come up with something else. It'll be a bit scared to use that ploy. So like that, that is the warrior way of sadna. Just don't fall for these mind tricks. It says, 'But you already know who you are, why you need to inquire?' Then you inquire for one hour. Keep quiet, close your eyes, you sit in inquiry for one hour. You can do it. Initially it can seem like we are just following this mind's ranting, but no, it has actually no power. Then you see that the gravitational pull of this Maya, this world, this mind, will not really be able to stop you. Then the Atma takes over. See? And then the Atma takes over, then blessings and blessings every day, miracles and miracles every day. Spiritual knowledge is coming from everywhere, full of love and light. You are just enjoying it so much.

Then you feel that, not from a sense of complacency, but it's just looking forward to the adventure of every day. You wake up in the morning and you don't know what new pathway to God will be shown, what new way of loving God will show up, what insight about our reality becomes more and more apparent. But the mind wants us to indulge in that poisonous substance of 'me,' always 'me.' Just put the 'me' anywhere, just put it, insert it somewhere. So many children come into such beautiful love, such beautiful life, clearly Holy Spirit has taken a hold of them, you see. But from time to time, they keep falling for the same: 'But what about me? See, what am I getting in this? What about...?' So just those difficult times you have to stay strong.

I told you, sometimes I tell you about my experiences also. In terms of if I feel stuck, I woke up one morning and I was feeling disconnected. I didn't even feel like praying, you see. And it really was feeling that strong that I didn't want to just leave my bed. I don't want to sit up and do my prayer, do my ideas. I didn't want to do any of that. But I was like, 'I'm not leaving God.' So then we become stubborn for God because we start feeling restless without him. So then I told you that it was one of the Ramacharitmanas songs which I just put it on. So don't worry about that. If I had gone with that impulse, you see, like the impulse wants to take away the day from you, from God. It wants to set the theme for the day in the morning and just like put the winning flag: 'See, this day belongs to Maya, this day belongs to me.' So don't fall for that. And success and failure is not up to us, but at least if we know in our heart we tried, it's okay. It's not necessary. It could be that I played the button also but still felt like disconnected, something else also disconnected. But at least when sleep was coming at night I said, 'Okay, I tried honestly to myself.' And I've been given to this. Anybody who's having it really easy, it doesn't work like that. Otherwise the great saints like Kabir Ji would not have said Maya is the greatest con artist. Because even for the greatest sages, they notice for themselves, you see, how she can play.

Yogi told him in twenty-four hours he went to the cave and how... tell us the whole thing, how he described his experience so everyone can hear. Okay, so Yogi said when Papa Ramdas told Yogi to chant the name twenty-four hours, all day every day, so he went to the cave and he started chanting. And we all know what happened after seven days, but how he described it to Ma, he said that not that this beggar could do it, he was trying and trying and trying with all this dramatic gesture. Keep trying and trying and trying. And then suddenly he says, 'Ma, this trying is tapas.' Yeah, exactly. Trying is the tapas. It literally feels like heat. It just feels difficult because it's like what the Bible and Christians say, that this is the inner wrestling, inner wrestling match, warfare, spiritual internal Mahabharat. After you, after you is the highest thing that they really ask was that, 'Can I have devotion to your devotion?' And all the sages and everything keep saying it's a beautiful thing to ask, which means that have mercy on me that I can sing your praises.

You spoke about trying and trying. So like morning when I wake up, then I do this chanting with that Mala. So sometimes it is very dry. I've seen that it is not dry, right? That is fake. Still better than not doing it. There are points here also, could be like midway, then I take a peak and you know, then you speed up. I do all this.

That is not—that is trying exactly. Yeah. The mind wants you—what it wants you to give up. It wants you to say... every time you take God's name, it's good. It may not be like the best is if you offer your entire being to him and say, 'God help me,' you see, like that. But even if you say 'God,' you see, it's still better than not remembering.

Yeah. Question that I had was like since morning, I mean, I could feel an energy. I mean, I am offered a new work which is very exciting. So that energy has changed. I mean, I'm not liking that energy. I mean, even though the work is good, I'm very excited, I want to deliver it, but that energy is not what you feel when you're in the presence. Yeah, I want that, but I mean, I'm not comfortable with that.

You want to have that excitement?

Yeah, but I'm not feeling good about it also. Something amiss is there, you know.

What's at the tail of most of these, like this worldly excitement, worldly desire, worldly achievement, worldly ambition, right? What's at the tail of it? The tail at the end of this animal is usually full of trouble. So stay with God and let the work happen. And it doesn't mean that you won't have like satisfaction or you will do the work robotically or you won't feel job satisfaction or anything like that. That can all come within God's presence. All good things can happen, isn't it? But when you activate yourself into this sort of excited thing, whatever enthusiasm is needed, God will provide. But sometimes it's like this mental charge.

Yes, exactly. Feel like a rush.

Yes, yes, like that. But then that has a down also. So I should let that... like, are these energy drinks good for you? No. Yeah, why? They provide... it's got what, two cups of caffeine? I don't know, equivalent that much. They say, I don't know, they say as much caffeine as two cups of coffee.

In His presence all good things can happen, isn't it? But when you activate yourself into this sort of excited thing, whatever enthusiasm is needed God will provide. But sometimes it's like this mental charge.

Yes, exactly. It feels like a rush.

Yes, yes, like that. But then that has a down also. So, I should let that—like, are these energy drinks good for you? No. Why? They provide what, two cups of caffeine? I don't know, equivalent to that much. They say, I don't know, they say as much caffeine as two cups of coffee plus as much sugar as like two or three Coca-Colas, plus I don't know what. That makes you feel good, so why not? Then you come down. You come down or you get addicted to it, or these kind of things. When you get addicted to it, you just go with it. Yeah, so now you're liking this energy, then when the buzz starts to fall, then it's like, 'Okay, what else? What else? What else?' Like that. You've seen some people like that at work, right? They can't sit still. They can't be with themselves. If you look around at the world, actually very few can just sit by themselves because you need the rush to come from somewhere. Don't fall into any of that. Enjoy things. Work must be enjoyed; there's no problem in work. But the enjoyment has to come from your heart, from within. If it feels like your heart doesn't want to move in that direction, then just follow your heart. The more you stay within, the more we observe these what seem to be very subtle things in the world, we become more and more observant to that.

Just from the earlier conversation, Father, I think related to her question of company. I met some of the people that you meet in the ego circles and they were making snarky comments about me coming here. I don't try to like shy away from owning it; it's not even a flutter of thought, so that's not the topic. But this guy Yash, that he had a debate with you or whatever some time ago, so he's like, 'So why do you go there like three days a week?' So I said, 'Uh, you go to the gym regularly, right? How many days a week do you go?' In fact, he complains if he misses one day of the gym. So diligent about your gym, what do you go for? He's like, 'To stay fit.' And so I go to keep my mind, body, and spirit fit. Is that a problem? And he was just like silent for some time. I think he never thought about it. But to your point, like, you know, when you go to the gym and you see the amount of effort people are putting in to put on another ten kg load and there's screaming going on and the coach is like pushing them, and I've actually of late taken inspiration from that. I also go to the gym, but inspiration in the sense that initially I think I used to hide from suffering. Hide in the sense that, 'Oh, when suffering arises, let me put on my defense gear. Okay, open, empty, all that jazz.' Now it's like switched to, 'Yeah, like, bring it on,' but not in an egotistical way. It's like just like putting that extra load on. It's like just my story that in the gym if I put on ten kgs more, it's a positive story even though the muscles are hurting, screaming, whatever. Here it was like this fear kind of response, and it's really making a difference to not—I think I mentioned to you last time—it's like the different kind of like stable, calm courage, for lack of a better description. But yeah, the humility radar is always on. So yeah, and I see that with Adi also. She was saying, you know, initially she used to be shy in her dorm that she'll be caught listening to your YouTube satsang and it's like, 'Who's this bearded man and what are you doing?' And she started owning it, and now a couple of her friends have started watching your satsang and they want to come here and, you know, take a shot at it. But like to her point about company and friends and influences, I've also struggled through a lot of that. Where I am right now—and you can chop me, I'm just telling you where I am right now—it's just, you know, you had us work on the heart temple movement. Like my natural experience now has become it's okay to take the temple to the bar also. Not again in an egotistical way. Yeah, because people are showing up to satsang and I'm meeting them in bars. And I'm not drinking or anything, I'm hanging out because I do enjoy their company. They are good people. And just like I found you because I stumbled upon Tina in a place where people were drinking, and otherwise I wouldn't have been here. So so far that's what is happening. And initially there was a struggle that I should completely cut away, but my narrative right now is these are good people, you know, and it's okay as long as I'm doing my work and I'm hitting the spiritual gym in a humble way and coming to you. Yeah, that's kind of the experience.

That's good, good. We had a nice conversation actually, yes, on the nature of knowledge and in Greece that time we had gone. It's so beautiful how it works. Like you said, in the most unexpected ways. And for most of us here, it's so apparent that this meeting had to be. Because in the terms of the world it can seem like, 'Oh, if that hadn't happened, then you wouldn't have come to satsang,' or, 'We would never have met,' or whatever. But Guru creates these opportunities. Just like the right book shows up, the right teacher shows up, everything exactly. For a range, it becomes just like the world around us is like very sweet, very innocent, or at worst just being silly. But that whole notion of anyone being malintentioned, it just gets stripped away in some way because we notice that at worst they are just following what their head is telling them. And we also end up doing that often. It's fine. And for me, I just feel that here is a brother, here is a sister who is not turning towards God, who is not turning towards God and probably is going to if they keep going like that. And the prayer of course is that hopefully they change. So what is it that I can do to help them in whatever way to recognize that, to recognize the diamond of this life? So of course it's very difficult conversations to have in social environments and social settings, but naturally the inclination just becomes, 'How can I help? How can I help?' So if somebody comes home and visits—as you know, I hardly go anywhere—but someone comes and visits or something like that, then I keep listening and maybe sometimes I just knock a little bit to see if there's any. Just like a very dear friend came home the other day, but he had a very strong position about being an atheist, you know, that 'Because I'm an atheist, because I have...' And you know, all my friends are now similar to my age, which are fifty and above, so they are very deeply attached to having been right. Maybe when you are younger, when you are in your early twenties, then you feel like, 'Okay, I have another fifty years in front of me,' so then we are still open to exploring. Once we feel that so much of our life is gone and somebody tries to introduce a new way, especially questioning the very strata of our thought system, you see, then at a certain age you don't want to hear that you've been wrong for fifty years. You were okay probably younger, but so it's very difficult to make people open unless it is coming from within. But whatever we do, a bit we try a little bit and see what happens. Somewhere the heart guides you how much to push or not. But the best thing is that we can always pray. Even then, even more than anything we could say to them, you can just pray for them also. The poison itself seems natural, then how will somebody want the antidote? The poison itself seems the worthy way of life.

Father, I've asked you this many times and this is that heart-mind question: when to know which is which? Off late, one observation—I almost feel like a fool, but that's why I'm asking you whether that intuition is in the right direction—it seems like whenever the voice is being heard, which used to confuse me, 'Is this the heart or is it the mind?', it's just seeming more and more that when the voice is being heard, it is the mind. The heart just knows. It is usually not giving a speech or justification or pros and cons or any of that, or even like self-righteousness, 'Oh, this is the right path.' Does that feel right?

It's good. It's very good. For most, actually, we'll have to go like that. That just whatever thoughts, whatever concepts, whatever notions, we discard and remain with the silence, with the guidance which is in the form of silence. And then without leaving that, something may unfold where at some point you may be able to say that, 'I turned to God and I said this and He said that.' Is it like that? But we don't have to rush into any of that because we never want to get our imagination involved in any of these things because the mind can very easily use that to manipulate us. So just settle deeply into the silence of the heart. In fact, even when the communication happens, it is the silence of the heart that is not disturbed. That's the important thing.

All this, I was formulating this question, I was listening, but still, it's like since we started Ramacharitmanas and the practices you give—inquiry, chanting, prayer, all of these—I mean the path we're going on and how what we're relying on for satisfaction, pleasures, nothing material. Chanting, it's like it seems so absurd. How is this happening? And if these things can be fulfilling, then it's seeming like I'm not something material. What is it? What is deriving exactly some satisfaction out of it?

And I don't know, when we start deriving that different type of satisfaction, a different type of fulfillment we feel within when we come closer to God in whatever way. What is it? What is it? You are right that if you were material, then your satisfaction could only come from material things. So your conclusion is right. How is it possible that so much joy—like here at least I have to report that so much love, so much joy, so much peace can come from things like remembering a name? From praying, from inquiring into the true nature of who I am, into the nature of the presence that lives within myself? How can so much joy and love come if I was a material object? Then it could not be so. So I must be something else. And what is that? We know. We know the Self. You are the Atma and you are the light, light of the Atma within, and you are a devotee of that Atma within. All of this is you in your outermost realm. Just like the outermost surface of the ocean is the wave called this body, with all the layers of the ocean and everything is, you know, the rest of your being. And the very center of the surface of the ocean is your Atma, God's presence. And the space in which it rests is the Nirguna Brahman. So you are not a material object, otherwise spirituality would be the biggest waste of time. Materiality, which is the way of the world, would be the right thing if you were material. But why do sages say that nothing else has given them that much joy? What do they do? Some sages just said the name of the Lord. They say that what is there? There's two syllables. How is she comparing it to the greatest jewel that anyone can find? And because like this it no longer remains conceptual, it starts to become our lived experience, then our faith develops and deepens like this. We start to trust it more. As long as it remains just conceptual, then it can be shaken easily. Just like a belief. Like if you came and you said you had a belief, but you had a strong belief that Tokyo is the capital of China. You had heard it from a hundred people. But then you come to some place like a proper classroom and somebody really intelligent that you know tells you, 'No, no, you're mistaken. Tokyo is not the capital of China; Tokyo is the capital of Japan.' Then you can switch that belief, you see. But if in that Tokyo being the capital of China your heart felt alive, you felt love, peace, and joy, you see, then you recognize that it is not a concept anymore that you're meeting. And of course I'm no longer talking about Tokyo now.

You had heard it from a hundred people, but then you come to some place like a proper classroom and somebody really intelligent that you know tells you, 'No, no, you're mistaken. Tokyo is not the capital of China; Tokyo is the capital of Japan.' Then you can switch that belief, you see. But if in that Tokyo being the capital of China your heart felt alive, you felt love, peace, and joy, you see, then you recognize that it is not a concept anymore that you're meeting. And of course, I'm no longer talking about Tokyo now. When you come to that which points you to God, when you come to something which opens your heart, it doesn't remain conceptual anymore. And then that becomes such a beautiful thing because that heart guides you about everything. So just like what he was saying, it is not important where you're going or not going; it is about what your heart is saying about it. And if it is fine, it is good, so we can be moved by that.

So initially it can feel like—like people say, you know, that 'Oh, this feeling of joy comes, so let me just follow my joy.' But that's also like a trap, so don't get into following a feeling. Follow that which is the source of that. What can happen otherwise is that we get used to the sweetness of the presence, and Maya is the greatest con artist in this way, that we start to think the sweetness is the presence. So if you're praying and the sweetness doesn't come, then you feel that 'I'm not praying well.' If you pray and the love that you felt yesterday doesn't come, you feel 'I'm not praying well.' This is so next time you are like, 'Today I'm going to go get that love, get that joy.' So much doership has come and an attachment to very subtle phenomena can come. Just stay with the one who is providing all of this. Stay with focus to that one. Have the attitude that 'Whatever you give me is good. Whatever you're giving me is good. I'm here for you.'

But Father, it seems like the one experiencing that emotion or the lack of it, that satisfaction—it has a preference, no? It prefers to be in the state. It's not unaffected.

It is unaffected, but unaffected in not the way that we think of in the human condition. Like we say that we have a preference only if we are affected in some way, like if you are a concerned party, then you know, like that. But for God, it is not like that. Nothing we do can affect or not affect Him. Let's look at it another way. What's a good way to say? See, once your children are grown up, once you're like fifty, sixty, seventy, children are grown up and things like that, then really they're living their life. Whatever they're doing, it doesn't really affect you in that way because everybody seems to have independent lives. But as a parent, you still want them to be on the right path, to do what is good for them, to follow like that.

So God's love is not conditional upon it affecting Him in some way. It is just His love for us, caring for us and concern for us, because there is nothing that has ever scratched or made a dent on awareness. No Maya, no matter how strong it is, can make a scratch on awareness. So Brahman, that which you really are, the absolute reality of ourselves, is not affected. But the strange thing is that in this place, it is we, it is I, which is on all sides. That side also me, this side also me, in the middle also me.

I just got reminded of what you said where awareness cannot be affected. I think the thing that flipped about two months ago from a courage standpoint is—I don't know if you've seen this photograph of this Vietnamese monk who's sitting and he's on fire for peace? Somebody sent it. It's from the early sixties. I had seen this photo twenty years ago and I think anybody who sees it is shocked at some level, but I guess I never understood it the way I did two months ago, which was: A, he's sitting for peace; B, his body is ablaze and he doesn't move. I think twenty years ago when I saw that picture, when you see somebody burning, it's like, 'Oh, it must be really painful.' But then I saw it again two months ago. I was reading an article. I just put a match on my skin—okay, now don't try this stuff at home, kids—no, no, just near it, right? To just get a sense of how painful is a tiny match. I couldn't. The hand just moved away, right? And I was like, 'Wow, this guy is sitting ablaze and he's completely unaffected.' So clearly there's something else going on over here. And that has given—like, now next to your painting, I put a small photo of this guy because every time my spiral can start, I just look at you and I look at him. And the question that pops up is: Is my suffering even five percent of this man's? For me, I use the word, 'Why are you being a crybaby?' You know, if he can deal with that, you can definitely deal with this kind of thing. So it really, really helped in that.

Is intuitive knowledge similar to the knowledge we get from pure perception? Is it similar in nature? Are they the same?

When we remain in pure perception, yes. When we remain, the knowledge of that, yes, that intuitive side knows everything because nobody feels lost. The mind's idea is that we will feel lost without it, but when we remain empty of the mind and the no-mind, you feel very at home, actually. We feel at home because everything that needs to be known is known in our heart. And again, what needs to be expressed on the surface, that is up to the grace of the Atma within. But the Atma's intelligence is fully with us. It's like we cannot make a distinction between its presence, its love, its intelligence, its restful nature; it's just a byproduct of it—natural, not even byproduct, it's like inherent in it. So its insight is inherent in that.

Then what happens is that it sends these—like a metaphor I'm using—like from the vastness of the supreme intelligence, these bubbles come, because the infrastructure that we have cannot handle more than bubbles. So it just comes in the form of 'Ah.' So then those bubbles, in the ancient times, got codified into scripture, into what we call the Shrutis and all these beautiful scriptures; they all came from there. So like we said at the beginning of Satsang, no human can write something like this, you see? But from there it can come. So how much—whether that bubble, set of bubbles, becomes a stream, whether it becomes a flowing Ganga—just depends on how open we are and how empty we are of our knowledge. And the more empty we are, the more this flow will deepen.

So the supremeness, the supreme nature of that intelligence, is always present. But what it graces us with in the worldly play also depends on whether we make ourselves fully reliant on that or we still have some pride of self-knowledge or pride of knowing something. So this what we call, like, 'I had an intuition like that.' When we see that 'I had an intuition that God is so faithful,' just something which your heart speaks to you like a sprouting seedling of knowledge or something. I feel like that is very difficult to put in words, so I have to find these metaphors to try and explain. All of us have experienced it. Without it, it would feel like a very dark, scary place to go within. If you are not reassured with the love and knowledge which God Himself is, His presence Himself is, then it would seem like visiting some dark space. But it's not like that.

Suppose you went to a room and you didn't know anything about anything; then it would be scary, no? That is the mind's version of what going within feels like. But it doesn't feel like that at all. It just feels like, 'I don't feel lost. I feel so reassured and present.' So all of these things, like she was also saying, are pointing us to something; they are pointing us to our nature being not this object, not objective. It's very beautiful, very beautiful. Touched to hear a report like that. Please say, 'Why am I getting satisfaction, joy, peace, love out of praying to God?' If I was an object, like if I was a robot with some AI stuff, then I would not. So like this, little, little intuition comes, intuition comes which reassures us on the path. This keeps us reassured. Whenever we start to get a bit troubled, then some grace knows how to reassure us. It gives us whatever we can handle at that point of time. And 'handle' means handle in humility, because things will come through you and your mind will say, 'Wow, you're fantastic now. You've become too good.' And if you get attached to that kind of stuff, then the flow can get restricted. Then growth doesn't happen, change doesn't happen, you don't flower so much. You stop yourself.

The helplessness that—see, it's not a positional helplessness where the mind can take a position that 'This is not for you, you cannot do this,' you know? So there are times when I can sense the flavor of the mind there. But also one counter-question to the mind is, 'Then what is option two?' Yes, but I was coming to this, Father. These days the helplessness that I experience is from the heart, I feel, because I know that this I cannot do. Like, there are times when I really feel that way.

Yes. So the distinction between—very good—helplessness coming from the mind and the heart. We should talk about both of them. The first is this idea which the mind will throw at you saying, 'Now Satsang is too radical, it is too strange, it is too whatever. It's not for you, it's not for you.' That is one. So when it says like that, that 'You are not cut out for this,' then we must say, 'But then what is the second option? What is the option you are giving? That I should die taking myself to be this flesh and blood which is only going to the funeral pyre or the graveyard? That is your option? That I should just consider myself to be this? Or your option is that I do everything in a little, little bit and all of that, but there's no chance of being with God then and finding God then?' You see? So all his options are just in Maya. He will say, 'Oh, now in the world you will do this, in the world you will do this.' But if you say, 'All of this is dying and this one is also dying, then what is it that you're really offering me?' Then the mind doesn't really have any solution.

Then what happens is the second, the beautiful holy helplessness that you're talking about, you see? Which is to say that, 'You, Father, you are so beyond anything I can fathom. That you have so much love in your heart is so beyond anything that I can taste. Your light, your presence is so beyond anything I can ever mean. So to stay with you, to stay in your heart, to stay at your feet is not something that I can do. All I can do is keep trying to turn towards you, but you have to pull me in. You have to pluck me out of this play and keep me with you because I don't want it any other way now. I'm done with the offers of this world. I'm done with the seeming pleasure and excitement and joy it seems to offer because I know where it goes. So keep me in whatever way, but keep me with you.' That is a beautiful prayer, to be like an infant.

Okay, let's take some questions online. Okay, I've read through most of the messages, but let's go to some of the hands. Let's go to Karam. Namaste, Father. Thank you.

I just want to share that once I put my hand up, something shifted and there was so much presence. And yeah, I feel you very strongly with me.

How the thing with this presence is, is that it does not leave us. You know what I'm going to say next: so you must not leave it. You must not leave it because it never leaves us. So when we are graced by it, when you're blessed by it, stay with it as much as you can. And then something will trip us up in Maya. Maya is strong. So when we leave, then we just remember to return with whatever helps us to return. And once we return, then we don't leave for as long as we can.

Yeah, I did leave as well. I went—I don't know, I feel in my heart I have to—

You have to not leave, that's all. You have to—

No, it was funny because I raised my hand for the practical matters, and when this presence came very strongly, I thought that Grace knows what I'm here for. And yeah, the methods are not important. For all of us, there are two options, isn't it?

Then we just remember to return with whatever helps us to return. And once we return, then we don't leave for as long as we can.

Yeah, I did leave as well. I went... I don't know. I feel in my heart I have to... you have to not leave, that's all. No, it was funny because I raised my hand for the practical matters, and when this presence came very strongly, I thought that Grace knows what I'm here for. And yeah, the methods are not important.

For all of us, there are two options, isn't it? Because all of us have practical matters in this life. There's no life without these practical matters. So the two options are that we leave the practical matters to God and we keep our focus on God, or we take charge of the practical matters for ourselves, which is that we leave the presence of God and we use our mind, we use our intellect, to try and solve the practical matters. So you know which option is the only good option.

Yeah. Already when we say 'practical,' I have a sense of where it is going. I was going to ask for your blessing because... I'm probably not even going to say what it is, but one of them, I guess, has been raising a lot of frustration. It's something that hasn't been resolved for many years. And yeah, I just wanted to be able to stay in the heart whatever the outcome is. And the other one may be resolved too.

The question for me always is: how can I serve God in this moment with you? How can I emphasize on this point over and over again that we have to turn fully and become fully reliant on His grace, on His will? So how do I help you to not fully inhale so much of the poison before you look for the remedies to return, to remedies to heal yourself? The only preventative medicine in this world to all these things—anger, resentment, frustration, indecision—the only remedy is His love, His light, His presence. So can you get frustrated without leaving Him first? No. So very often I've said this: that we cannot be in heaven and hell at the same time. So our life must become a more living example of that. You don't leave as much as you can.

We will all be tricked by Maya, but you must not invite its invitation then say, 'Oh, I got the next invitation, let me go. It's invited me again. Now there's a wedding happening in Maya, let me go.' I'm not talking about an outer wedding; I'm saying that it will come with all these things which seem practical and important. But if you keep falling for its tricks, then what will be the end of this? What is that point of time on which we say, 'Today, right now, enough and no more. I will not fall for your tricks again'? At least that commitment has to be 100%, because if we commit 100%, then when we fail, at least we know that we fully, fully tried to be with God. So can we make everything into God's domain so that we don't have this idea of spiritual versus practical? Everything is spiritual and everything is practical. Yes? Let's leave it. Can we leave it to God? Can we allow Him to guide us, allow Him to move us?

Yeah. What is Plan B? What is Plan B? I want to ask seriously, what is Plan B? Do we feel that by not fully committing, by being half-half—half for me and half for God—you will come to the end of this suffering, the end of this Maya? So I want to tell you that when things come to our light, Grace shows us something, then if we really commit, it really helps. Like I told you a few weeks back, I noticed for myself after hearing a satsang by an Antahkarana that I still have this propensity to get irritated. It's like, you know, so I may not get angry, but I have this like, you know, it's like a very Indian irritation-type style, you see. That I noticed, and I feel like it is not pleasing to God for me to be like this. As someone whose only joy is to spread His light, I didn't feel like this is in service to God. So then I promise you that with every full-hearted intention, I've been working on it. I've really been working on it.

So in the same way, we must not go that easy on the mind and say, 'I got frustrated, I got this, I got angry, I got all of these things.' You must just full-heartedly banish them from our life. And then if Maya grabs us and a situation comes where these things happen, then we go and we pray and we ask for forgiveness. But commit to yourself that you will not fall for these things because they seem very natural. Like even boredom, frustration, irritation—boredom, all these things—it seems like they're a part of the human condition, but actually, it is the fertile ground for such big trouble. Don't fall for these mind attacks so easily. Let it work really hard to trouble you. Let it work really hard to trouble you. Let it have to come up with something really fantastic to get you to get troubled and identify. But if you keep falling for the same tricks over and over again for year after year, years and years, then the mind is winning in this battle for time.

So I want all of us to make this promise today that we will commit fully to not leave His presence and not let the mind have it so easy with us. Of course, the outcomes are up to God, are up to His grace, but let's go to God saying, 'I give it everything You gave me power over. I give everything You endowed me with. I use that to not fall for these things.' At least for this body, I don't know how many years it has left—10, 20, 30, I don't know how many. Even that I don't know. But how much of that time which is left am I going to use to get over the 'me' before I can really use this life to serve God? That must be our question. How much of our remaining life do you want to use to just get over the basic constructs of the 'me'? Fully, nobody will ever get over—at least this one won't, myself I won't—but at least these basic constructs.

Right now, it seems like the mind has a remote control fully. A little button it presses: anger. A little button it presses: frustration. A little button: fear. We just dance to all of its tunes. It's like easier for the mind than to put on Netflix and YouTube, all of these things on our TV. So when will that end? And when will you say, when will you come to a point where the mind is pressing, pressing, pressing, pressing, but we are untouched? Then it has to pull out some special button to make us trouble, like some special twig. But the regular twigs keep... and when we are troubled, of course, we don't think it's regular. Everyone feels like we have a special brand of a problem, you see, which nobody else understands. Everyone feels that. But I'm telling you that we can deepen in our commitment to God and not be so easily swayed by the mind's rantings and pushings.

So let's decide for ourselves today: how much of the rest of our life is to transcend this 'me' and how much of it, of the remaining part, is to be truly then in service to God, unconcerned with the 'me'? You decide and tell me, then I won't bother you after that. When will we make our life about God and not self-help? And you know the irony of it: to make it about God is the only self-help. So, were you saying something now? You said, 'I said now, maybe so.' Please, thank you.

So one week at least as a fast. No self-concern. No self-concern. Everything only about God.

Very good, very good.

My meeting is on the 22nd, so yeah.

What is on the 22nd?

The meeting where I have to be in the heart. No idea. Meeting you, yeah, when I have to be in the heart.

So you start the meeting now where you have to be in the heart. For one week, no matter what has to come in the outer world, no self-concern. Commit to that. See, because when it is made granular like this, it can seem like more difficult. Otherwise, very easily we say, 'My whole life, starting from now, my whole life is for God.' Then okay, for the next week, no self-concern, only about God. Like, okay, this got real. It's not real right now? Because when we speak in broad terms, it seems very easy. But apply, apply it to your life.

There is a fear that I'm going to fail.

Yeah, all of us. It's okay. But our commitment has to be stronger than our fear. That fear is okay, that feels natural. Thank you, thank you. It's a beautiful contemplation. Now, fear and a little bit have been scratching the surface of that contemplation. And really, you see that the fact that God is aware of your every breath and every heartbeat, that He is watching in this way, is great reassurance to a Bhakta, great reassurance to a devotee. Because really, after all the pointers and everything, everything is said and done, we don't know how to pray, we don't know how to remember Him, we don't know how to inquire, we don't know any of these things. But just the fact that my Father is aware of my intention to love Him, of my intention to be with Him, of my intention to find out my true nature, you see, He is aware. That is greatly reassuring. Because if He's aware of my intention, He'll take care of it, because I know that He loves me.

So there's a great love in this 'audience of one,' as I call it. That the only audience that is important, and actually even there is this audience which is Him. So it's very, very reassuring. But it is also fearful when we want to indulge in our mind, when we want to get up to selfishness and personal benefit, winning for ourselves, putting our brothers and sisters down. And that the fact that He is watching us, we want to forget at that point of time. Say, 'I'm alone in this room, I'm alone, nobody knows what's going on in me.' So you want to forget about that fact. And that fact that He is actually watching then brings some fear, and that is very healthy. That is very healthy.

So this is not usually what is heard in especially Advaita-type of satsang, but I've really been contemplating this fact: why Tulsidas Ji says about fear of God, why in the Bible they say about the fear of God. In most religions and traditions, they talk about the fear of God. What does it mean? Because I need such a loving God, such a faithful God, such a kind, caring God, I can't imagine like a fear-inducing God. So I wanted to really contemplate this because when it comes to the great sages and the holy ones themselves, I am nobody to say, 'No, you were wrong.' So they must be right. What is the way that they are seeing it and I'm not yet seeing it? That becomes a way to then contemplate it. So what is the way that so many of them saw it and I'm not able to see it that way?

So you go to your heart for guidance and you recognize that this fact of God as the pure witness of all of this is great reassurance. It's being as if sitting on the Mother's lap all your life. But for us wanting to be selfish, the fact that He is watching us must never be forgotten, you see. And that not forgetting that fact is what they are referring to as fear. He is aware of my every move, my every intention. Because in words I can play, I can say anything to all of you, anything I can say. And after twelve years of sharing, I know what works and what doesn't work. So if I wanted to manipulate, I could manipulate also. But to remember that He is watching and this life is just in service to Him is so important for us. It stops us from making big things, saying big things, because to lie in His presence... if Krishna was sitting in front of us in the room and we were just reporting lies to Him, what do you feel? That He doesn't know?

So if He's sitting here and we are just going on lying and exaggerating and making up stuff and manipulating our brothers and sisters and those we call our children, this is very important to remember. It's very important. Because as a parent, I want my children, my biological children also, to love me deeply. But when it's late, 2:00 a.m. in the morning, and I'm telling them to come home, I want them to follow. At that moment, I just want them to follow. So if they have no fear of a parent, these kids will be up to no good. So then we are like that. If the audience was of many, the many is easy to manipulate. And I'm so sorry to say, but in spirituality, it happens a lot where teachers themselves forget that the audience is not these, but Thou.

As a parent, I want my children, my biological children also, to love me deeply. But when it's late, 2:00 a.m. in the morning, and I'm telling them to come home, I want them to follow. At that moment, I just want them to follow. So, if they have no fear of a parent, these kids will be up to no good. So then, we are like that. If the audience was of many, the many is easy to manipulate. And I'm so sorry to say, but in spirituality, it happens a lot where teachers themselves forget that the audience is not these, but the audience is That. Because this attention, this outer love, this outer reverence, respect, is very compelling in the human condition. So, especially because all of you will be teachers of God, it's very important to remember that. That His love and His fear are not actually too different. Both are. Remember that He's sitting in there in your heart, and then try to lie with your mouth. Can you do it? If you forget, then it seems easy. We can all say whatever we want if we forget, because who's going to come to know? No, He's there. And we committed in His presence, in the holy gathering of satsang, we committed that we will not fall for self-concern. If you can follow things with that kind of strength and commitment, then the mind won't have a chance. It won't tempt us with tiny things. Thank you. I think let's go to the next.

It became very clear that without the sense of beingness, like, there's like nothing in this side. So without this, it's like the light of all experience. Yes, yes, yes. Without the presence of God, like, even the sense of pain or like happiness or joy or sadness can be experienced. Yeah. So merciful and graceful is He that even like when I forget, He is still there as the witness. I think, yes. I don't know, I was looking at this and somehow I just like felt so much because I really cried. I just felt like His love is just... without this, like, even the sense of experience and having the sense that this is your parents or to be in this realm... like, this thing, without this, is this like there's not life or death without this. And this is why I see why you always say that we always have to honor. I honor this presence. You have to honor this beingness.

Just very good. It's our highest privilege. It's our highest privilege to be able to honor Him. Very good, very good. Because without His light, without His love, without His grace, there is no life. Literally, there is no life. Life is just a byproduct of His presence. Just like the movie is just a byproduct of the light of the projector. Without that, there is no life. That's why I keep saying that without God's light, we are already dead. There is nothing without Him. Okay, let's go to Shanti. Namaste.

Namaste, Father. Namaste, namaste. Thank you, Father. Thank you, thank you.

So welcome. You're welcome. Very good, very good. When our attitude, when our intention truly becomes like the Doha said, which means there is nothing which is mine in this 'me', everything here is Yours. So don't keep anything for yourself, just offer everything to Him. Okay, let's go to M and Sukar.

Hello, Father. Hello. Can you hear us? Thank you. Yeah, I just felt to raise my hand and yeah, and thank you so much.

Well, thank you. What is the report after that day, our things after satsang last time?

Yeah, somehow I have not been able to sleep so much, which somehow, I don't know, just cannot sleep so much. So still, even today, like my head is somehow falling. So yeah, and somehow sometimes it gets still like difficult, but it's much softer than after Wednesday. And yeah, I just really took like what you told to carry by also the commitment.

Yeah, just keep inquiring, keep praying. In your prayer, in your inquiry, God also gives you rest. So His presence is the source of all rest for us. So He will take care of your sleep and rest, everything. Don't worry. I do sound like that, like the one who sells this presumably Ayurvedic medicine. So you go to him—you must have seen if you've been to Rishikesh or Haridwar—so you go to them and they have these bottles of red pills or something like that. So for any ailment you have, they have the same bottle. Fifty rupees, take the bottle, take the bottle, like that. So I know I sound like that, for everything this one is going to say God will do it, God gives us. But you know these things, especially these things which are so primal to us—love, peace, rest, sleep—these are just the most basic, primal things in the human existence, and they all come from God. So really, I have to give the credit where it is due, that we have to stay with God and then He provides us, He blesses us with all of it.

Just not following to me, Father, you know?

Yeah, yeah. As your temperament is more inquiry than not following these thoughts and remaining empty, as you empty, then naturally you empty for God. You don't have to say 'I am empty for God.' Even as you empty of the 'me', then the lane is cleared up for God. Because the lane is narrow; when we fill it up with 'me', then there is no space for God. So remain empty like that. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Welcome. Bless you both, bless you. Okay, let's go to Atma.

Namaste. Yeah, I feel to resonate a bit with what you said about fear, and I'm grateful for this reminder. Well, it is, I'm sure it touches everybody, and I am just seeing, contemplating how it resonates in me. And I see I need somehow to express something about the relation, what makes for me, what makes the fear. This fear that it... because I have some... for me, God is... I've rejected the fear. Yeah, the fear. I'm not rejecting the fear, I'm just seeing the fear and I'm seeing nuance between awe and reverence. And I must, I see in me when the fear is still a reaction for me. Yeah, the reaction of me being seen. And you say, for me it's very true that I know I am seen, and 'me' is seen, and 'me' can be afraid of being seen, of course, because 'me' is fearful. Yes, for sure. And so what I see, because I know very well the balance between fear, hiding, compensating, being seen, compensating, fear coming again and so on, this may go around. I've been observing a lot in my life. And I see now more and more it is like the sun slowly coming up. I see actually awe and reverence and gratitude are really empowering me, and fear doesn't. Fear is still in the reaction cycle. And so I'm happy also to share this because, yes, being empowered doesn't mean being more 'me'. It means just giving Him all the space to show me His love inside. And I'm very grateful for again for this satsang about how we can give Him every day this space. Because yes, we have still... I was contemplating the no-effort is actually only happening when the only effort is there, and when there is only one love, then no-effort can be reached. But it cannot be fantasized, it cannot be... we cannot pretend not having reached that at all. So thank you very much because you are really nourishing this. Very happy. We can really learn, each one for himself. Thank you so much.

Bless you. Thanks so much. Bless you. Thank you. I think very beautiful. Oh, we are in constant awe, constant reverence. Very beautiful how these words actually can't describe. And we, to point, for the purpose of pointing, we use some words like 'awe'. 'Awe' is such a beautiful word. What is it actually, awe? You could say wonder, but there'd be something missing. You just said you had a wonder about God, then something is that so? It needs that masala of that something, just that. So whether you call that faith or you call that fear, like wonder mixed with fear sounds a bit like awe, huh? Like that. And reverence, such a beautiful reverence. But if you say love, love is one of the most beautiful words, but when we say reverence, it is not directly just love. There is a love plus like a respect, like a fear you know of. But fear itself we can't define. So just something brings us to an absurd sort of holiness, an absurd sort of stillness within ourselves, and then we struggle with the kind of words to describe it. How would you say your state is? And if you say, 'I don't know, I'm just turned inwardly towards Him,' but it's not just that you turn inwardly towards Him. It is not like a blank turning. As you turn, as we turn more and more towards Him, we come to this like holiness, this excitement, joy sometimes, this flavor of love and reverence and respect sometimes. Sometimes He's your father, sometimes He's your best friend, sometimes He's the loving mother. So how do we describe? So the simple way to put it is that it's so much joy. And as I was telling another child, what can we say about Him? So she said, 'Father, everything, everything we can say about Him.' I said the joy is in counting His virtues that we get. It's also grace that we can sing about His good, which is not directly virtues, but I can't find the English word for it, you see. Not His attributes, not His virtues, something in the middle there somewhere. So when we say He is so loving, He is so giving, He is so graceful, He is so faithful, something about it which is beautiful, you see? Which is so beautiful that I can say He is everything. Of course He is, it is also beautiful, but just there's something that enjoys saying He's my father, He's my mother, He's my best friend. But can we ever really put Him into any words? He can't do it, He can't do it. And yet there is joy. Like Shanti said, why is there joy in these things? Because He's made it that way. So when I first got into spirituality, then again I heard this concept of Gungaan, praise the Lord. What kind of God wants praise? That sounds very egotistical. These doubts all of us have when we go through. So this was there. Later on, I realized that it's for us. It's for us. It's such a gift to ourselves to sing His praises. That's why the sages have said, 'Give me the grace to be able to sing Your praises.' Who can understand these things? Only once we start to deepen in our discipleship of the Atma with Him. So all those things as a beginner on this path that my scientific, analytical mind was so clear I was right about, God is showing me that the sages always had it right. And they were not some stupid, primitive people. They were speaking from the depth of their heart, from the depth of their understanding. But because words are inadequate to express, that is why the rationality, our rationality, doesn't... it doesn't fit. How can He be the most loving, most caring, most kind, and yet we must fear in awe, or a nicer way to say is to be in awe and reverence of Him?

Yeah, I feel very much what you say. And for me, awe is not primitive at all. It is exactly the contrary of primitive. It is just the... it expresses the opening of the whole being to the beingness itself, and it is endless.

Exactly, exactly. In the human play, if the sky came and stood in front of us, or if all of space collected and stood in front of us, you'd probably faint out of whatever you want to call it. So if That, in whose little finger universes sprout, if That one comes in front of us, not even in the Virat Roop, can we be normal? So what, how to describe that feeling? Then He is sitting in your heart. That is the trouble with words, that is the trouble with description. It's a very beautiful report Atma is making. I'm not in any way saying anything contradictory to that, I'm just adding to the flavor of that. Very good, very good. Let's go to Hi Father.

Hello. Yeah, I just wanted to come. I didn't want to risk it.

Very good, very good. Keep deepening like this, keep growing in your heart like this. Very happy. Very thank you. Let's go to Chanda.

Hello. I hadn't come for a while, Father.

So she's looking a bit sheepish because it's ten days, one year... what is the date? She won't come, come. You don't know how much I'm missing you. Thank you so much. I'm not going to look even more sheepish, Father, because Monday...

Very good. Let's go to Hi. Hello. Yeah, I just wanted to come. I didn't want to risk it. Very good, very good. Keep deepening like this. Keep growing in your heart like this. Very happy. Very thank you. Let's go to Chanda.

Hello. I hadn't come for a while, Father, so she's looking a bit sheepish because it's ten days, one year with... is the date she went. Come, come. You don't know how much I'm missing you. Thank you so much. I'm not going to look even more sheepish, Father, because Monday I'm going to Bhutan. Yes, yes, you told me. It's okay, it's okay. A week, it's fine.

Yeah, that's... I'll keep listening from there. Yes, yes. Bhutan, I have heard from so many, is a very beautiful, very spiritual, very happy, very... it's Monday for a week you go. That's... thank you so much. Thank you so much, beloved. Thank you. Bless. Make... okay, one or two questions from the chat.

Hi Father, is boredom a thought and are all thoughts lies? And then, even when I watch a movie or theater, should I remember God? Yes, we must always remember God. Boredom can seem very innocent and humble actually, but it is a source of big trouble because boredom at its root is the idea that what is, is not enough. I need more excitement, I need more pleasure, I need more joy, I need something. So, it's like resistance to what is. You are always able to turn towards God and because God is always with you, whether we recognize or realize the presence or not, therefore there is no room for the idea of resisting what is, the idea of boredom. So just return to His presence whichever way you're using. If you're using the Nam, the name, then remember the name.

Then the second question was: are all thoughts lies? Well, no thought can express anything true about a single moment in time. Forget about that which is beyond time and space; so about God, of course it cannot express. But a thought really can't represent this moment, and all our sense-making, all our meaning-making actually gives us contradictory views about what is. It leads to so much conflict, so much trouble in the human condition. But within our own heads, there are so many contradictory ideas that we suffer because of that contradiction in our heads. So go to a deeper source of truths which can guide you, which can give you knowledge, which can show you the way, and that is to go to the Atma within. And its ways of guiding you are different from the grasping, selfish nature of the mind.

You're only going to Bhutan for a week, no? Yes, you're good. Nothing to worry and, by God's grace, it will be fine. It'll be so. See you soon after that. Thank you. Oh, it's 9:00. Wow. You okay for...