Coming to the End of Mental Oppression, Mental Slavery - 15th April 2022

So that is why it is important to seek out another source of knowledge, another method of understanding, another method of coming to a recognition which is not just based on what your mind is telling you at this moment. Because the mind will take you for a ride and the mind will present to you—most importantly, present to you—a version of yourself which is just that you are this body. But something now, coming to satsang, wants the recognition of something deeper than just being this body which has a finite time to live, that's stuck between these notions of birth and death. Something is looking for some stability, some peace, some contentment.

Now, you cannot get stability or peace riding on the unstable, and the mind is very unstable. You know, one satsang it will say, 'This is the best thing in the world,' and such. So what is the truth? And if you keep dancing to the tunes of this one, then you're just going back and forth like a pendulum. There's no real peace to be found. So then what happens? I'm just breaking this down, unpacking what he said for everyone. Then what happens is you discover, coming into satsang, that there is a greater intelligence, there is a greater divine force which we may call our heart provisionally, but this is not our emotional heart; this is our intuitive heart.

So when I say live headlessly or live without the head, you see, it is not an invitation to live irrationally or emotionally. It is an invitation to find that intuitive insight. And then you find that everything is fine instantly. When you drop your current notion, there's no problem. You're absolutely fine right now. Your existence is fully free. You are fully free this very moment. So you're finding that this is quite straightforward, actually; I could follow this. But then the mind plays this trump card and says, 'Hey, that's okay when you're in satsang or when you're looking for God or spirituality, but what about the real world?' See, I find that term very funny. Another way of saying that is 'the practical world.' 'My practical things won't get solved with this. Practical things won't get solved with this.'

Now, this is a fallacy. This is a fallacy. There are billions—there are a billion processes happening in your body right now. How many of them are you thinking about and doing? Are you thinking about your kidneys functioning? You're thinking about your heart beating? You're thinking about your breath flowing? Are you thinking about... and these are just very little, there are many, many. So that intelligence which can do a billion processes in just one body—and there are seven billion bodies on this planet, apparently—and then so it is running all of that. There is some intelligence running it. Now, that which your mind is thinking and doing, you see, apparently again, it is not actually. Why can't you trust the same intelligence to do that?

How is it that the plant can grow all these beautiful flowers, but the plant is not thinking, 'Okay, I'm going to create a yellow flower with red in the middle'? It probably doesn't even understand these colors, and yet such beauty comes out, such uniqueness. Each plant is different in its flavor, and yet everything looks so beautiful without having to think. So this idea that all this is fine to discover who I am or to find God, but to trust my intuition to run this life, you see, is not going to take care of my practical things—is a fallacy.

So, is speaking practical, real world, or impractical? Now, does the mouth know that it is going to speak satsang or it's going to speak at work? Does the mouth care about that? The mouth doesn't care. The mouth is moving, the tongue is moving, the words are coming, you see. Now in satsang, you can see—hopefully you can see—that something is just speaking from the heart. It is not with mental intervention. You don't have to think about right and wrong and what is going to come out next. And honestly, I'm hearing these words just like you're hearing them. This mouth is speaking and I'm hearing them just like you're hearing them. They're coming out fresh. There is no plan, there is no speaker notes, there is none of that. It is just being spoken, you see. And I don't know what word is coming next. See?

Now, is this practical or impractical? Or let's say practical or spiritual? It is just what it is. It is empty of those categories. So in the same way, if the mouth can speak like this in satsang, then the mouth can also go to the office and speak to peers or employees. The mouth can also go to the father's house and tell people around, 'Can you help me with this? I need to fix this up.' So actually, there is no distinction except the categories we create in our head about these things. Life is just life, and life is unfolding as life in the light of consciousness, in the light of God. It is just playing out.

But it is the mind's nature to conclude these kind of things and say, 'Okay, this is spiritual things. All this will help my spiritual progress and my spiritual growth, but I can't surrender my life to God because God will make a mess out of my practical life. I mean, God is good for spiritual life; God doesn't know how to pay my bills. God can't run my life.' So these kind of distinctions are made by the mind, and it says, 'No, no, this is fine, and I become very peaceful and I want to just sit on my bed and meditate when I'm in the heart, but I can't live a life or run the practical life without the mind's help.' That's a huge fallacy.

And you must experiment with this, you see. But experiment with this without an expectation of outcome. You will say, 'I have to send a hundred emails this week, and now it is too much trouble to do mentally, so let me leave that to God, and God better send those hundred emails,' you see. So it's not a cheat code to getting your desires fulfilled, you see. You have to leave both the action and the outcome to God. Both the action and the outcome have to be surrendered. You cannot just surrender the action but not the outcome, you see. So the action, the outcome, and the experience of the outcome. And you will notice that grace has such a profound effect that soon enough—it may not be immediately, but soon enough—you will be thankful for your trust. You will be grateful for your surrender.

So really, don't make any such mental categories about practical life and spiritual life. This is a mind's master tactic. In fact, God already is. So when I say let God run everything, I'm actually saying see that God is already running everything. So if the house is meant to be fixed, as you are open and empty, as you are allowing your heart to unfold, you may feel like some energy is also coming. Ah, that is the second point: you can never make a determination about how much energy you have, you see. You may be able to say, 'Okay, for right now I don't seem to have the energy to go and do some renovation work,' you see. You may say that about right now, but you can never say that about the next moment because this life force is completely under the will of consciousness.

So you come into the next moment, so you don't know, or so you don't know right either way. I'm not giving you some cheat codes to become Superman or something. I remember someone who was taking care of their brother and their father in serious condition in the hospital, and she called me in like an SOS mode saying, 'I'm done. My body is so tired, I can't move an inch now. Now if they need my help in the hospital tomorrow, there's no chance. I'm not able to take care of my father and my brother.' So I said to her, 'It is for God to provide the energy if it is needed to happen that way. And if it doesn't happen that way, trust that as well; some other thing will happen.'

And she called me the next day and said, 'I was so tired and I was just resting, and then the instant I heard that something is needed, like with my father or my brother, something just came. It just came.' So God provides. And if God doesn't provide in that moment, then trust that also. You don't have to force it. Because in your apparent tiredness, there are again a billion processes happening in just that one body. So you don't know what is happening. So the mind has these very primitive sort of kindergarten-level labels that it uses for conditions which are beyond its understanding. 'Is it high energy?' You see? But these are much more nuanced than the mind can fathom. So best to avoid these labels because what do the labels do? How do the labels help? They only become placeholders for your story. What is this right now? What is this right now? Some friends have come for the first time. If their family says, 'Where did you go?' you need a label. 'So I went to something called satsang with this guy,' you see.

Kindergarten level labels that it uses for conditions which are beyond its understanding. So, is it higher energetic, you see? But these are much more nuanced than the mind can fathom, so best to avoid these labels. Because what do the labels do? How do the labels help? They only become placeholders for your story. What is this right now? What is this right now? Some friends have come for the first time. If their family says, 'Ready to go?' you need a label. 'So, I went to something called satsang with this.' So, you see, but it enables you to have that communication, that story. But that story is the extent of which it helps. Is your experience of this getting amplified because of the label that you have? You see, so it is just the human need for a narrative to always have this idea of progress, or 'Where am I going?' 'What's in it for me?' These kind of notions that we need to constantly try and figure out what's going on. You conceptually figure out what's going on, what's happening, what's going on.

You see, the worst-case scenario for the mind is: 'What? I went for satsang with Ananta and nothing happened. Nothing happened. Complete waste of time. And that guy, you know, he loves the sound of his voice, he will keep talking. I am not understanding anything, no. Two hours of my life at least wasted fully.' That can be a narrative. Another may say, 'Oh, thank God I came because he clarified so much for me today. I was so confused about these things, I have got clarity also.' Then that is the same as the first report, because conceptual clarity, as you can conclude actually, that it was a complete waste or the greatest help in your head—and both are the same for me. If I have not been able to push you beyond your head, then I have not done my job. So, you could conclude either end of the spectrum and I am neutral to either; it doesn't matter. But if I've confused you enough or I've pulled you into the heart enough through whatever means, you see, then the true essence of satsang is being felt by you, is being meant blindly.

So, okay, coming back to Adrian's question: don't feel like you have to rely on the mind to do anything in this world. Try it my way.

Yes. You know, I just wanted to expose that when I go to that house and see all the things that have to be done, sometimes I mean I'm hoping for a miracle or I'm... I don't know, because I'm very intimidated, you know.

Yes. Just trust your heart guidance, and sometimes the heart's simple guidance is the greatest miracle. Your heart guidance may say, 'Start with one nail.' Instead of looking at the whole house, start with one nail. You see, start with them and that may help in some way. Sometimes the greatest miracles are the simplest ones. Sometimes the greatest miracles are the simplest one. When the mind is pressurizing you, if you can go to your heart and have a simple, gentle smile on your face, that is a greater miracle than some event happenings. Yes, thank you so much. Thank you.

One of the things we were speaking about just before we started the broadcast... so we were really talking about, really what I want to emphasize is that notice when you are open and empty right now. When you're open and empty. And open and empty just means that be open to everything that is coming. See, allow all thoughts, all perceptions to come. And empty means don't cling on to anything that comes; allow them to go. Everything in the realm of perception comes and goes. It is only when we cling, only when we attach, that we suffer. Or only when we say that 'This is not good enough, this should be different from what it is, what is appearing,' then we suffer, which is the same thing, you see. So, cling on to an idea of what your perceptual experience must be, and that idea makes you suffer.

So now try this: just remain open and empty. All of you, just remain open and empty. Allow everything to come and go. Allow everything to come. Don't worry at all about what the mind is saying. Don't be concerned at all about that. I'm going to ask you a very simple question. Simple question. Don't give it to your mind. Allow the question to do the work for itself. You don't have to solve this like a maths puzzle. If no answer is coming, that is completely fine; there is no pressure. As you open and empty, is it not clear to you, naturally clear, that you're something, you're beyond just what you are perceiving? Is it not apparent to you that you are beyond just what you are perceiving?

And you will notice that it is completely clear, completely apparent, that you are not just the manifest, but you are also the unmanifest. And it is, in fact, the unmanifest—it is this unmanifest which is your primary nature. Everything else comes and goes. Every thought, every visual, every smell, all taste, all touch, all sounds—all of them come and go. But that which is beyond these perceptions does not come and go in that way. To come to just this non-resistive openness is also the fulfillment of inquiry, because it is actually apparent, so naturally so, organically, that you are beyond just what you are perceiving.

Now, this that is beyond what you're perceiving is not in opposition to Maya or to the realm of perception. It is not in opposition to any of that. But my proposal to you is that we spent enough time, and we spend enough time in the realm of perception with our focus on the realm of perception. Let's spend a few minutes in satsang every week focused on that which is beyond the realm of perception. Now, if one of you feels that what I'm saying is too far out, don't get into any peer pressure. Just tell me, 'It is not apparent to me what you're saying. I don't find anything which is beyond the realm of perception.' I see one hand. Anybody else? Just open and empty, is it not apparent to you? So, let's go to Salar. Thank you. Welcome, welcome.

So, just headless, headless. Now, where can you place yourselves? On what perception can you rest your identity? If everything that you call sight went away, would you still be here or not? And if all the other sorts of perceptions like sounds, taste, touch, smell also went away, with which one would you also go there? So, that which does not go even if all these perceptions went away, who is that one? Everyone's with me? That is the unperceivable you. Unperceivable, but not unrecognizable. This is where it moves stuff, because we are used to finding things only objectively. So, it feels like, 'Okay, now what I'm saying is there are some spectacles which cannot be seen, but they are spectacles.' But it's not like that. In a way it is like that, but when you do not find the perception of spectacles, and if I was to tell you there are spectacles in my right hand, you would say, 'I'm only believing you because it's coming from you.' Most of you will say, 'Shut up.' But some of you may say, 'Okay, I'm only believing this because there are spectacles in my right hand.' No, because I don't see them, I cannot conclude that they are spectacles.

But the 'I' which is yourself, you see, you are able to recognize but not see. The 'I' which is aware. Are you aware now? Yes. That 'you' which is aware, you cannot perceive. If someone can perceive, just raise your physical hand, not the zoom. You are aware of the perception of this hand. That 'you' which is aware, can that be perceived? Cannot be perceived. And yet you can say that it is you. If somebody said, 'It's not you, actually somebody else,' you will say, 'What's wrong with you? Of course it's me.' You see? So, this 'I' which is just aware, you recognize but you can never perceive. And because you can never perceive, your mind has no chance of fathoming it, because the mind is just an interpreter of perception. So, the more you think about that, the more pointless it becomes to think so.

So, neither can you perceive it nor can you think about it. But from where do you know it? That 'where' is intuition, which is naturally apparent when you're not obsessed with your mind. So, how is it that when I say headless, headless, don't worry about what your mind is saying for a moment? All of you, don't become all lost. It's very, in fact, many of you report it's very peaceful that your existence, your being, has no problem. You just are. So straightforward, so open and empty. You're headless, whatever you want to call it—no mind, unborn—whatever word you want to use. In that, your self-discovery is instantaneous. Instantaneous, immediate. Who you are is fully apparent to you. You are that unperceivable, unthinkable reality, untouched by whatever perception or concepts may be coming. Now, I don't want this to sound like a discourse; I want it to be like a live workshop. So, if anybody is not with me at this moment, then just say, 'I'm not able to follow what are you saying,' and don't feel any peer pressure. There's one hand. Let's see.

Okay, close this one. I don't mind unmuting a few together; it doesn't hurt. Like two, three of you can speak, it's fine. Hello. So good, good on this point. So, are you aware now? Yes, you are aware now. Do you see this awareness? No, you don't perceive it. And are you just thinking that you are aware, but it's actually not true? So, that ability to say no is coming from your intuition. See, the spotting that 'I am aware' and to confirm that 'I am aware' without needing a perception, which is unlike any worldly discovery, isn't it? Is there a pair of spectacles in my hand? You say no because you don't perceive it. And yet for awareness, you say, 'Yes, I am aware,' even though you don't perceive it. Because this knowledge is so inherent in us that we don't even need perception.

So, on what basis are you saying that you are aware? I am saying that that basis is intuition, you see. And what is intuition for that which you don't need any mental processing or perceptual experience? And intuition is always immediate; it is not grasping at anything. Yes, simple, isn't it? Simpler than we expected. Simpler than we expected because it is actually nothing to do. Our doing only gets in the way, isn't it? There's no effort possible intuitively. You cannot try intuitively. 'I try to find yourself intuitively'—there's no trying. It's fully known. Self-knowledge is fully lit up there. You cannot turn off that self-knowledge. But it just... we've been looking in the wrong direction. We've been trying to find the Self as an object, as a set of perceptions, or as an experience, a spiritual experience. But it's not possible that way. How you've been trying to get convinced that you are the Self—'I want to be convinced I am Brahman'—which is nothing but belief, and it cannot happen that way. There is no belief that life cannot slap out of you, out of any of you. There's no belief like that. But there is something greater than belief. You are greater than believer. Your self-knowledge is greater than belief.

Now, this is the simplicity of self-discovery, which is as simple as that. If anybody is waiting for something to happen, you are waiting for some perception to change, but that cannot be the Self. So, anybody waiting for anything to happen? Jason? Okay, let's go to Jason first and then him. What are you waiting for?

I feel I'm still waiting for the feeling to disassociate with the body, because it still feels so much like tied to the body or locked inside the body. I don't know, maybe it's only again an idea. But for example, my body is a little bit sick and then I feel I'm really suffering. I have to admit I'm suffering because the body is not well, and I feel like I didn't get all this, all this listening, all this talking, but I haven't got it because I'm still suffering.

Okay, let's look at this. Let's look at this. Thank you, thank you for coming up. So, are you aware now? Yes. Now, on what basis do you conclude then? Do you see this awareness? No. It is... yes, no. What? That just knowing is intuition, you see. That just knowing is intuitive insight. We can just call it just knowing also. Just intuition sounds better, okay? That's the only reason why we use intuition, you see. Someone said, 'How do you know that you are aware?' 'I just do.' That's right, you just do. Effortlessly. Effortlessly, you see. Now, if you did not burden this recognition with any expectation for Jason, or that which we call...

Now, on what basis do you conclude then? Do you see this awareness? No. It is yes, no, what? That just knowing is intuition, you see? That just knowing is intuitive inside. We can just call it 'just knowing' also; 'just intuition' sounds better, okay? That's the only reason why we use intuition, you see. Someone said, 'How do you know that you are aware?' I just do. That's right, you just do. Effortlessly, effortlessly, you see.

Now, if you did not burden this recognition with any expectation for Jason, or that which we call this, then what problem would you have? So, what I already heard is an expectation that, 'Oh, something should change about my state' or 'The apparent suffering should not be there.' But actually, when you are open and empty, just when you're looking in this way, you are not suffering. You cannot suffer because for suffering, you need the whole mental process to happen. Is the body's pain equal to suffering? No, no. The body can be in pain, but to suffer you have to think about it. And to think about it does not mean the arising of thoughts. Thoughts can come, but you have to believe in thoughts which are saying, 'How can you come to freedom? How can you say this is awakening because you are still suffering?' So, a thought like that comes, you see, and we buy into that. But without that, you are free.

So, this awareness that you just discovered, you see, which has always been there—but it can seem like we just had the insight, you see—is the only self-discovery that is possible. There is nothing else that we can call self-discovery. Anything else would mean that some perceptions would change, and then it would just be in the realm of perception. And the basis of Advaita Vedanta is that all perceptions come and go and therefore are not real, but yourself does not come and go. Your reality does not come and go.

So, what is happening in a very subtle way is that there is a mental expectation that my self-discovery should mean something for the non-existent 'me' to change. Something should change; the state should change, there should be some bliss, pain should go away, some idea like that, you see. But what you are discovering about yourself is beyond this realm of pain, suffering, expectation, joy—all of these things, isn't it?

Yes, but sometimes it feels not real enough, not strong enough. Like it's... yeah, again, it's like something mental. I don't know, it's not mental, but yes, right. Yeah, yeah, I hear what...

So, can something without a quality be strong or weak? You see, so the problem is that these are the mind categories. 'My awakening is not strong enough,' you see, because we have seen other people crying and laughing and saying, 'Hallelujah!' or something like this. If you're like, 'That's what I need,' you see. 'They are having a real awakening; I'm just sitting there, I'm aware.' So nothing, you see? So that doesn't seem like... okay, in the biography somebody makes, in Jason's biography: 'What was your awakening moment?' 'Nothing. I was just sitting in satsang and Ananta asked me, "Are you aware now?" and I saw yes.' 'So then what happened? Did you see fireworks? Was there some great bliss, Ananta, that came?' 'No.' 'Then what kind of awakening is that? That doesn't sound very sage-like.'

So, this is the kind of mental oppression, the mental slavery, which gives these kind of expectations and says, 'Until you meet that kind of idea, until then you can't say you really met yourself. How dare you!' this kind of thing. But are you aware? Yes. Isn't it amazing that you're confirming yes to something that you can't see? You're just making this up? You are confirming yes to something that you can't see. In the world they say seeing is believing, but here you are neither seeing nor believing, yet you're confirming yes. Are you aware? You can't help it. You can't help it. Even if you just say, 'No, I'm not aware,' I would say, 'But you're aware that you're not aware.' Yes. And nobody has ever seen this awareness because it is empty of all qualities. To see something, the attention needs a qualitative perception. Attributeless, you cannot perceive, and yet you know already. You know.

So, nothing needs to happen, nothing needs to change, because we are not feeding this enlightenment to a personal identity. It is actually the absence of the identity. That's why the only prerequisite is that you are open and empty. When you are open and empty, there is no person, there is no identity. Absent of that identity, what you are is fully apparent to you without any effort. Just instantaneous, just effortless. It just is. And all of you are saying, 'How do I... how do you know?' 'I just do. I just do.' That your mind will not like. So, don't discount. Don't discount that, because that simple discovery is the highest, greatest discovery that all of you will make.

Everything else you will discover will be in this universe. Everything else that you notice will be in this universe. You may do space travel and go to Mars; you may go beyond the galaxy someday, but it will still be in this universe. When you are discovering yourself in the simplicity of this, you are coming to that which is beyond this universe, beyond time and space. And then all this worldly... of worldly attachments will seem like nothing because you are not here, by the way, you see. You are not in this universe. The universe is in you. It's just a set of appearances.

So, this simple question, 'Are you aware now?' introduces you to that which you are unchangingly and is not contained in time and space. So, don't let the mind trick you and say, 'Oh, what did I get?' Anybody else taking you outside the universe? Any other question which pulls you out of this realm of time and space? The mind will say, 'No, no, but that is nothing.' Do it! It is nothing because it itself is nothing. So, don't go to your mind for certification: 'Have I got it yet?' Mind will say, 'No, no. Where's the bliss? I was promised bliss, endless bliss. Or at least my suffering has to go away.' It is gone, but you keep going back to the cellar of suffering, which is the mind, and taking stuff from there which is saying, 'Your suffering is not gone yet.' And you're suffering just from that thought, you see.

Where is this awareness? I say, 'Are you aware now?' You say, 'Yes.' Where is it? What is this location? What is the location of this awareness? Is it an object inside this object? This object? Because this object can only hold other objects. It cannot even hold presence because presence is not objective; it is the primordial vibration. But that which is aware even of presence? Forget about it. So, it is not contained in this object. Then where is it? That awareness which you find just like that is not a matter of time or space. You did not have to sit in a spaceship, time machine, nothing, and you went beyond the universe. What the sages have been telling you for ages, you see, that you are that in which these universes come and go. They are talking about you as awareness because all these perceptions, all of these dream states, you see, come and go for you and you remain the unchanging witness. You are that reality. You are coming to this discovery right now.

So, please don't go to the mind saying, 'Nothing. What is there in that nothing? What did I get? Nothing.' Discover your immensity which is not limited by these universes. Where is it? Where is this awareness? No, the question is using physics, right? Forget it. Where is it? Where is... where is it? Somewhere within this ecosystem? Listen, forget it, forget it, forget it. Look for yourself. Bypass. So, I'm glad it's working now. Don't go to that which is jammed. Look for yourself. Where is this awareness? Does it have a location? Is there awareness about it? See, let it be. If you're getting processed through this, how do you know something is happening? Just because something is happening means... because the fan is also moving, no? So, how do you know it's not happening through the fan? Don't go with mental conclusions.

I am telling you that the universe takes birth within you. You're saying, 'It is happening through my body.' When you mean 'you,' you as awareness, you as the Self, the universe takes birth within you. That you is definitely not this. And you said it's not limited to time and space. Does it mean it's something large somewhere? Look at it for yourself. So, I see if it was large and somewhere else, it would still be time and space. Large without space? Beyond aspects? Yes. But then what would it be? Now, don't speculate about it, you see. Now, there's only so far that your imagination can go. Your imagination cannot imagine something which is beyond time and space. You can only come to that recognition by yourself, not using your imagination. Because in your imagination, that which is beyond will be some dark empty space. I'm well aware, you see. So, don't waste your time with that. It'll just imagine the dark empty space.

So, ask yourself: who witnesses that? Who witnesses that? Is it dark, empty in that way? Spatially empty? Dark in color? Absence of light? Is it light then? How can it be the light of the universe, you see? So, I'm pointing you to something which your mind cannot handle, your imagination cannot give you, or your highest visualization cannot compete with it. But in a simple question, 'Are you aware now?' the pointer is located, you see. So, that awareness, does it have a location? Taste it for yourself. I want to smell on you the taste of this. I want to smell on you the taste of this. Not just the answer coming because you know it, you know the right answer. All the tools have been provided to you, you see. All open and empty. Let everything come and go. Become non-resistive. Check if you're aware now. And that 'you' which is aware, how do you know about it? I just do. Now, where is that? I cannot find. What color is it? What shape is it? And what is the difference between it and you?

And the fatal mistake at this point is to try and squeeze this into your heads and make it meaningful for the non-existent 'me.' Fatal to the inquiry. That... so, the fatal mistake at this point is to try and squeeze this into a mental understanding, into your heads, which will try to give it a meaning. 'What does this mean for little old me? Finally, I might be the light of this universe, but how does that help me?' So, you go from the Lord of the universe back into the beggar position saying, 'Me, me, me, please help me.' Don't do that. Your highest thoughts about yourselves cannot scratch the surface of your reality.

Do so without depending on the kaleidoscope, which means the realm of perceptions. Without depending on the radio, which is the mind's judgments and interpretations, your discovery has to be there. You cannot miss it. Like intuition doesn't miss. Intuition is not trying to hit the bull's eye and saying, 'Oh, I just missed. I wanted to go for awareness, but I've come to below awareness.' It cannot miss like that. It's just apparent. Who are you without your mind? Isn't it clear to you? Actually, unless you're trying to go back to the mind and convince it, it's clear. The mind can keep going, 'But, but, but, but.' Let it. How long will you dance to this body? He says, 'All this is fine, but it's okay for satsang, you see. But what happens when I go outside?' How long? Who is going outside? Who has come to satsang? Who is that which you take yourself to be?

If you are deluded about yourselves, what is the greatest gift that I can give you? If you think that you're a kangaroo, but you're actually a giraffe, isn't my greatest gift to you to tell you, 'See, here's a mirror. See that you're a giraffe'? And if you say, 'But how does that help the kangaroo?' what am I supposed to do with that question? I am showing you that you are awareness. If you say, 'But how does that help me?' what am I supposed to do? But this is how the mind plays. You can see clearly you're a giraffe, but what your question is, 'But does it seem that I'm a giraffe? How does that help the kangaroo?' But there's no kangaroo. None of this is meant to make you feel guilty. It is only meant to make you see these grooves of the mind which are so set in, you see, that we seem to go on those familiar tracks all the time. So, you notice that you are aware. In that noticing, do you find any distinction between yourself and this awareness? Okay, does it sound complicated? You notice that you are aware. As you notice...

What your question is, but does it seem that I'm a director? How does that help the camera? But there's no candle. None of this is meant to make you feel guilty. It is only meant to make you see these grooves of the mind which are so set in, you see, that we seem to go on those familiar tracks all the time. So you notice that you are aware. In that noticing, do you find any distinction between yourself and this awareness? Okay, does it sound complicated? You notice that you are aware. As you notice that, do you find any difference between yourself and awareness? Is there a 'you' which is looking at awareness saying, 'Yeah, I am. Yeah, that's me'? Is it like that? Look, look with me. Don't figure. Don't figure. Look again with me. So, are you aware now?

Yes. Yes.

Now, that 'you' which is aware, is it different from aware? Don't think. It still stays clear. Yes, you are witnessing it. The 'you' that is witnessing it, is it different from the witnessing itself? Don't think that. Stay with me. It's good. Doing well. The 'you' that is witnessing it, is it separate from the witnessing itself? Like, is there somewhere where the witnessing is but you are not, and where you are but there is no witnessing? So notice that you are this witnessing itself. You are this awareness. Now, while remaining open and empty, try to miss this discovery. Don't find it. Can you miss it? You cannot miss it. It's just apparent, obvious. Beyond the obviousness of the head, this discovery is just so clear.

Now, the only trouble is the end of selfishness. See, I'm using a strong word, but it just means getting rid of this idea: 'What's in it for me?' Does this awareness want anything? Is there anyone who feels—and I'm sounding loud and authoritative right now, please, it's just a harmless sheep sitting here—so tell me if anyone is missing this awareness. Just honestly, I promise I won't get angry. That you are aware is apparent, isn't it? So now, this awareness, does it want anything? Now then, is there another 'you' that wants? In reality, all that we wanted enlightenment to do for us, who has that desire? Does that one have any existent tangibility, any existent reality? So is it not worth throwing away this nonsensical thing? The voice says there is such a one, but the voice is lying. That is clear. That is clear by now, isn't it?

Yes. Yes.

So now, what do we have to fix with the voice? The voice will be the voice of 'me.' So there are two voices. One voice tells you that you are a limited object, the body-mind. That voice we call the mind. The other voice which points to your unlimited nature, to your reality, that is what we call the intuitive voice, you see. Now, both these voices can be there. It is up to you as consciousness as to which one you're going to hear. These are both your devices. You have a heart and a radio. You heard now that you must listen to the heart. If you still keep listening to the radio, then who can you blame? Because you are consciousness, no? There is nobody else to blame. You can do it. Why? Because you are consciousness. You could not do it if you were a person, but no person has ever existed. So how to talk to the person? That's why we say satsang is consciousness speaking with consciousness.

What is your heart saying now? It's saying that, 'Yes, what is this like?' And I want to clarify this, that some of you will beat yourself up if you feel like you're not hearing the heart or you're not hearing intuition, you see. So don't expect always that you will hear it as audio. Sometimes it will just make something clear in your heart and your feet start moving in that direction and your mouth starts speaking in that direction. Like I'm saying, this mouth is under the control of the heart, you see, because it is just apparent. It is flowing from there. It's not a physical heart that I'm talking about; it is just the intuitive presence is using this mouth to speak these words, you see. And you can smell it for yourself, and many of you that come to satsang can smell it, and that is why you come here.

So in the same way, just trust that it doesn't always have to sound like 'Do this, do that, don't do this.' It can also, it can also, but really just stay in that way. What you are is apparent, and that is what I pointed to you clearly. See, I pointed to your intuition clearly by asking a simple question: 'Are you aware now?' Where you know that answer, stay there. And 'stay there' means don't go to the other instrument, the other voice which is saying, 'Oh, what, you're this body?' and 'Are you really getting this?' and 'Am I free now?' You see? 'When will my satsang start?' All that nonsense, please, just in the head. So don't listen to that nonsense. You've tried that approach for many years now, maybe many lifetimes now. You try this approach.

What is difficult? 'Don't go to the head for the answer' is difficult in this? Effortless, effortless. And even if it does feel like effort for a bit, it's all right. If it feels like, 'My head has too much power, too much gravitational force, it pulls me in,' then exert yourself and don't follow. You will see that that exertion was actually false. It was a seeming exertion. But one has been very clear that he said if it feels like effort to let go of your mind, make the effort, and then you will realize that even that seeming effort was actually just grace. Enough of this mental slavery business. Whatever your head may be screaming right now doesn't matter. You are still the greater. That which witnesses this thought is greater than the thought, isn't it? And that which is aware of even this perception, not thought—how to meet that one? Such a blessing, such a blessing that we are able to find that which is ever-present and yet seemed so elusive because we got used to the searching as if it is objective.

Now, which one of you is not aware, or there's a difference between you and aware? Either not aware or there's a difference between you and aware. So another way of saying that is: Are you awareness? Now, this is Sweden. Anybody here that finds one thought which is bigger than you? Both my mind says, my mind says... tell me a thought which is bigger than you, that you get oppressed when the mind says? Stronger than you? Can make a dent on this awareness? Can make a scratch on this awareness? Show me one thought. Show me one perception. Any perception, not even thought. The greatest fire can burn awareness? Can the sharpest sword cut awareness? What in the world can hurt you now? See for yourself. Don't think you know. If you go to your head, you don't say... it says, 'It's all clear now.' You know, one hour later when satsang is over, all that nonsensical nonsense. See for yourselves. What can come here in this world that can actually hurt you, that space?

All questions, yes. Suddenly this, whatever is coming right as a...

But your mind is also certifying in that way only so that tomorrow it can take the certificate away. 'Oh, in front of Father it was clear, apparent, it was so good, it was clear.' Yeah, so yes, when you give that assent to that thought, then tomorrow it will take the certificate away and then you'll suffer again. 'It was fine, Father, yesterday. By Monday you will have the report saying when you went back, then at home, then this happened.' So neither accept the certification nor the denial from the mind. It can seem like, 'But I yearned for this forever, you know. I was waiting for my mind to approve me.' It has been the authoritative voice of disapproval for so long and finally it's saying, 'Yes, yes, you're getting this. Yes, yes.' It's like a very strict teacher suddenly starts saying, 'You're my best student,' you see. Obviously you want to say, 'Hey, come, come.' Still setting me up. Who is it representing when it says that? The mind is always the lawyer for the client who doesn't exist, always, because it cannot fathom your reality, you see. So even if it says you're doing well, it's clear for you. Who needs that certification?

Who has come to stability? Who has come... sorry, but the thought that, who has come... space... who has come to stability?

Who has come to stability? Who? Who is that? Who's not able to think? Awareness is aware of these perceptions, isn't it? Is it dangerous? Because that's a nice place for the kangaroo or for the giraffe. It's important, no? Because it could be dangerous for a kangaroo; it may not be for the giraffe, or vice versa. So tell me who. If there are landmines all over, then maybe the kangaroo can jump over them, but the giraffe may be just walking with stick legs and boom. So first introduce yourself. Who could it be dangerous for? Who could it be dangerous for? Who are you? Isn't that worth finding out before any other conclusion? Isn't that worth finding out? Because that which you're running for may be good for you, and that which you may be going to may be bad for you, but first you have to find out who that 'who' is.

So the red wall is for kangaroo freedom to climb, and the blue wall is for the giraffe freedom to climb. So which one will you climb? Are you a body? Are you the mind? Are you emotions? Are you being? Are you the Self as awareness? What are you? This is another stupidity which the mind doesn't say, 'No, let's leave that problem of who I am for later. Let's solve the real problem right now.' But it has kept the real problem for later. You all see it, I hope. I just feel like if this was the last satsang, I would want to tell you all these things, you know. It will say, 'Keep that aside, solve the real problem.' But the real problem is that 'who am I' that creates the basis for which other problems exist or not. Otherwise, you just presume kangaroo and solving all the kangaroo problems. At the end of your life, you want to realize you're a giraffe and you spent your whole life solving it for kangaroo. Whole life you thought you were a cat and just chased bowls of milk. At the end, you realize you're the space. Maybe not even at the end, I don't know how many lifetimes.

Isn't it the most important question to resolve? If there is a question to resolve, first we must say for whom. You say, 'Should I go left or should I go right? Please help me. Don't ask me how my mind...' People have actually told me, they said, 'I know you will say who, so don't ask me that. Tell me, should I go left or should I go right?' Whether... okay, if you're a kangaroo, go right. If you're a giraffe... should we just do that? How long will we deny that our fear stems from this absence of heart knowledge about who we are? And we feel like if I don't look at it, it'll just go away. All that we fear is if you were to look, you will find that 'I'm nothing' or something like that. So you rather hold on to the false identity of false tangibility which is fast approaching death, you know, fast approaching that. There's only one end for this body. Hold on to this which is so ephemeral in nature, then look for the fear of being disappointed that I may find nothing there, I may be nothing, see? And you may call this fear of death or fear of the unknown, but actually it's the fear of just a discovery which may prove to be nothing for you.

So the absence of this critical investigation is only hiding. It's only because something wants to hide from that of what you may find. You may feel like, 'I may not like what I discover if I look because I'm full of sin and guilt. I've done so much wrong in my life, so if I have to start looking, I may have to deal with that stuff.' Don't worry, it is not like that, see? All that may be vomited out, but this is direct, direct path, correct? Don't fear. Don't get into any denial about yourself. One says this recognition of the Self has to be constant for it to flower into manifestation constantly. Okay, let's put it this way: Does this recognition of the Self have to be constant for it to flower into manifestation constantly? Like the power of your presence that you feel now, it is only that Self which is manifesting as consciousness. It is always only that. It is only when we look at it from the lens of our mental interpretation that it can seem to be not good enough or nothing great. I promise you, whatever your life situation may be right now, whatever life events may be happening for you right now, if you were to look around you just in pure perception...

Cells have to be constant for it to flower into manifestation constantly, like the power of your presence that you feel now. It is only that Self which is manifesting as consciousness. It is always only that. It is only when we look at it from the lens of our mental interpretation that it can seem to be not good enough or nothing great. I promise you, whatever your life situation may be right now, whatever life events may be happening for you right now, if you were to look around you just in pure perception—which means uncoloured by what your mind is saying—you will find the most beautiful creation. Just look around you in pure perception. Just meet one ray of light, one vibration of sound fully, and you would have met God.

But because we are used to meeting everything through the lens of mental interpretation, we just got used to just reading the subtitles of the movie, thinking that we are watching the movie. So we seem to miss God's presence. So that constancy which we are asking for is already there. The constancy of your purity, your presence, God's presence is already there. But the subtitles of this movie seem to be the trickster subtitles.

I used to often take this example that on Nelson Mandela's funeral, they got a sign language expert, they thought. But people who were watching all could notice that this sign language one was just doing that and it seems to be just waving his hand. So then they started getting complaints. The broadcaster started hearing complaints that this sign language one was doing the interpretation of the speeches from the world leaders who were making speeches, but this sign language guy was just making random hand signs. So then they started getting complaints and then they realized that he didn't know. Later he made some excuse that he was having some sort of medical event, so that's why something happened. But mostly people realized that he doesn't know.

This is the same thing. The magnificence of the movie, which is God's creation that is called life, is being missed because the subtitles are all messed up. The subtitles are full of 'want, want, don't want, don't want,' full of resistance, full of attack, full of defense. But show me any of this in life if you did not have false ideas about it, if you did not have labels. Isn't it magnificent? It's so magnificent. This simple room is so magnificent. The shining eyes looking at me are so magnificent. No mind can create this. And this is a once-in-a-lifetime scene; you will never see this scene again. Don't miss it, and don't especially miss it for just reading false subtitles, the narrative from the head.

And you know the beauty of this? You are not lost even as you are tasting this life fully. It is apparent that you are beyond this perception. You don't have to work at it. Just notice for a moment that in pure perception, as you're open and empty in the simple allowing acceptance, it is clear who you are. The idea of losing yourself is absurd here. That you have to find, isn't it absurd? Try to lose yourself. Can you do it? So if you can't lose, then what are we trying to find? This is it. Subtitles will come; don't value them. Do not believe is only to not value them. You don't have to push them away. Don't get into any resistive position about anything at all, including the mind.

Can you see the light in this room and the light within? I'm sure you've seen. But even the light in this room is coming apparently from these lights, but isn't it magnificent? Can you experience a breeze that is coming from this fan? Isn't it so full of so much beauty? Just one moment of this creation, if you can fully taste, can you tell me that you've not met God? It's like God is screaming, calling you everywhere—outside, inside, everywhere. Wherever you go, it's God, God. And yet we can find a way to say, 'I'm looking for God.' This is what the false subtitles do. That's why the great Indians say, 'The fish is in the water and feeling thirsty.' Looking at that, I feel like laughing. I mean, it doesn't translate well, but you know the absurdity of this. It is the water itself feeling thirsty with the fish. Is it a possibility that you could separate from the water? How would you separate water from water?

Don't go back to meaning. Don't go back to understanding. Leaving Satsang only means that when you say that after I leave Satsang then this starts to happen again, it only means that you leave to a different source of meaning. You start relying again on your conceptual understanding, which will again make opposites because this is Satsang and outside is, let's say, practical and spiritual, ethereal and unreal, worldly and godly. All these categories are just garbage. How many of you are trying hard to fit all of this into your heads? Anybody getting a splitting headache right now? A little bit? Not hard, we're trying a little bit. You don't need to do that because it cannot be. It cannot be squeezed into our head.

Can I just... no, I don't know. It's nothing. I don't know what to do, but I just leave everything to you, to God. Yes, but I feel that anything has happened maybe who... oh yeah, I know. Yes, it's a beautiful prayer and it's completely accepted. And what it is coming to us after all this pointing which... are you taking yourself to be?

Is the discovery of yourself as awareness difficult?

Yes, honestly I feel difficult.

Okay, so let's focus on this point. On this point, tell me where you get stuck. Is it apparent to you that you are aware now?

Yes, that's apparent. It's like it's overlaid with the body identification.

I see, I see. So what it's sounding like—and because you're talking about illness and body, so I'm going to tell you like a doctor—so what it's sounding like is that you're using the wrong instrument. You're using the nose to hear and ears to smell. Okay, so now don't use that instrument which you just used. Let go of that. Let go of that. Wherever that conclusion is coming from, you can spot it. You can spot the instructor where the conclusion came, where it seems to be superimposed with all of these other things. Where is this conclusion coming from? You can spot that.

Yes, yes.

Don't follow that voice. And don't follow means don't give any value. For a few minutes, don't give any value to that voice. Deal?

Yes.

Very good. Now tell me, and wait for a conclusion or a confirmation from somewhere else for this question, and take as much time as you like: Who is aware of your existence? Don't follow the mental voice and take as long as you want.

I.

This 'I', and same way continue like this, you're doing very well. This 'I', what attribute or quality does it have by itself? Again, don't go with what your mind is saying because the mind already knows the answers, but those are just conceptual. So let it come and let it go. The question is: What quality or attribute does this 'I' have?

None.

Can something come and cover this up or cloud this 'I' up? In the same way, remain headless. And if an answer comes, then you produce the answer; otherwise, it's okay. Can something cloud up this 'I' or blur it in any way?

No.

What can affect this 'I'? What can happen in the world that can affect this 'I'? There's no pressure of any sort. Don't have to go to your head or anything. Just naturally, can something happen in the body that can hurt this 'I', the witnessing, the awareness?

You say awareness, it still feels like not really resonating within this. The 'I', I'm aware of it. What is this awareness?

Yes, so in what way are you trying to get the experience of awareness? You already confirmed that it has no quality. So to perceive this awareness is not possible, isn't it? Because to perceive, you need to at least have one quality: shape, size, color, something. Now don't try to perceive it. The spiritual experience is not like a worldly experience. The spiritual experience is not a phenomenal experience. Your simple knowing, heart knowing, not conceptual known, that 'I am aware' is the recognition of awareness. Otherwise, why would you confirm that? Are you ready to accept that you will not find the Self as an object?

Yes, yes.

You see? So now how can you meet something which is not an object? With what instrument can you meet it? Through your senses? Then with what can you meet it? To recognize that you can't meet it through these instruments is good enough, because then that is when you are truly intuitive. And intuitively, it is just so simple that 'I am aware.' This is just apparent. What is the separating boundary between this 'I' and awareness?

None.

So this awareness now, what trouble does it have? If you are this awareness, and if I was to ask for your trouble, I have to say: What trouble does awareness have? So is awareness lost in some way? Unclear? Can it become that? That which does not have any quality, no attribute, what does clarity or lack of clarity mean for that?

Doesn't mean anything.

Doesn't mean anything. And if you were to not be with your mind, you were in the no-mind, try to become confused or suffer in the no-mind. Try to suffer. Okay, let's go, let's have a rapid fire with others. So let's go to Madalina.

Hello. Yes, very good. A little village next to Sao Martina. Yeah, and it's very cold in the house, so we are on the street now. It's very cold in the house. Yeah, the houses here in Portugal are very much summer oriented. It's good. I do have a splitting headache now that you mentioned that, not because of the Satsang but because of the mind before that. And I'm grateful for the Satsang. Thank you for your work. Thank you.

Hello. Hey Father, hey. Hello. Did you get... change your hair? It's gone, I shaved it. I wanted you to ask me if I'm aware. And now...

Are you aware now?

Yes. I've been waiting so long to say that with confidence and it's just... yeah. And you see, it's all so natural. Yeah, the whole like looking for an object, you know, it's just... I don't know what happened, something just... yes. Yeah, it's so obvious. It's obvious. Yeah, I just wanted you to ask me that question because you've asked me so many times and I'm just like... yeah. I love you so much.

I love you too. This is my sunroom, but I've got the blinds down. I see it, it's a sunroom. Yeah, I would definitely tell them they've been missing you too actually. The kids have been actually... Sam was saying that she had a, I think, a dream or a memory or something. Yeah, and she wanted to come and see. She's like, 'I want to come and see Ananta, haven't seen for ages.' And it's like just from our own relation. So that's wonderful. Yeah, expected. Okay, last one, Atma.

Thank you, thank you. I'll try be... I, as I said before, I just went... I was a bit trying to figure out things because as it many times happens for many of us, there are old ghosts knocking at my door. Yeah, and you know, and I want to squeeze them now before they come again, you know, these kind of things. So it's a bit... maybe I'm struggling to catch them now because... but so I try. It's, you know, I told you I was trying to empty my house and make sorting things out physically, and especially books. And so naturally I'm confronted with the... with all dreams of grasping through lectures, through reading. But I don't do it, I don't do it. But I have still the books, you know. So it is a very nice situation because it shows very much what the 'me' does and how attached I can be to a dream of... I'll put it like this, a dream, maybe it's not... I should not say dream. It is just a wish or a hope or whatever tendency or whatever, or maybe a pull, a deep dream I would say. A deep dream, yes, of transformation. You know, all the matter of humanity is in the books potentially. I don't know, actually everything is in me also. So I see both sides, you know. I see I am awareness and I'm not my...

What the 'me' does and how attached I can be to a dream of—I'll put it like this—a dream. Maybe I should not say dream; it is just a wish or a hope or whatever tendency, or maybe a pull, a deep dream I would say. A deep dream, yes, of transformation. You know, all the matter of humanity is in the books potentially. I don't know, actually everything is in me also. So I see both sides, you know? I see I am awareness and I'm not my thoughts, I am not my grasping, I'm not. But on the other hand, I cannot say, 'Okay, it's finished, I'm over it and it's finished.' There is, you know, bypass here. I have the books in my hands and I must, I must, I must—nothing. But I wish to feel lighter, yeah. And in fact, I don't feel directly so light because I'm tempted again. 'Oh, I could have read this and I might understand this.' And so, to put it in a simple way, the deep dream of the caterpillar becoming a butterfly. So I'm really feeling this at the moment very, very strongly. And I know the caterpillar, before it becomes a butterfly inside the cocoon, it dies totally. It dissolves totally. And I realize it's Easter, and it's exactly what happens at Easter is dying and being reborn. So this deep dream of the thief becoming the policeman is also—I related to it. But the thief will never become a policeman. The thief has to die and he will not become a policeman; he will become something else. That's what I understand. But I have to put it now to share it with you and to receive your feedback on this because really, in all my journey, I've been born in this kind of belief or tradition that the 'me' can be transcended as a kind of 'me,' as a renewed 'me.' And it's not 'me,' it's for sure it's the 'I' or something. But doing this, the transcendence is not personal; the whole creation is transcended and there is really an integration of the things. The things become spiritual; I cannot put it differently. So that's it. I wanted to put it at your feet and listen to what you can tell me just now as you feel.

It's good, it's good. I don't have much feedback. It sounds very beautiful, of course. Always, you always sound very nice. So just this—the words that are coming from my heart right now is to say that that which is there between two words, emphasize on that at least as much as the words themselves.

Again, sorry, what?

That which is there between two words, give that as much emphasis as the words themselves.

Yeah, yeah. Thank you so much. Maybe it's an ongoing process, so maybe next week. Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you.

Okay, Davey wants to come. You can come.

Hello, hello. Can you hear me well? Yes, yes. Thank you. I just wanted to say, like, I still struggle with feeling like I really get what you're saying. Like, there are some parts that I feel I get, but also I feel still there is such a—I don't know that I can say resistance, but like some dense energy that is very—it feels like resistance, you know? And sometimes I feel like no matter what you would tell me or what I would hear, it just doesn't—like, I can't. And also probably all this trying has made it more, you know, like...

But good news, I want to give you some good news: that the arising of anything, do you see, cannot resist me because I am closer to you than anything that can arise. And I'm not just speaking poetically. What I'm saying is that the heart which is speaking these words, the presence which is speaking these words, is your very presence. And everything else that arises, arises at some distance from you. But this presence does not have any distance from it. So whatever may arise, notice that you are perceiving it and you are aware of that perception as well. Don't think it is blocking me in any way. It is not blocking your reality, your light, in any way; it is just another appearance. Now your mind will say, 'But this is a resistance' or 'It's a constraint, this is a block.' Don't buy into that idea.

Like, when I hear your words, I would like to feel like an openness towards them and I don't feel that. Like, I feel more like...

Where do you want to see? You feel the openness in your mind?

In my being, I don't know. Just to feel like I'm welcoming your words and I'm like...

You don't have to do any of that. You don't have to do any of that. Just take it easy, like a little infant who doesn't have to decide what to do next. The parents are deciding. You just, like a little baby, like a little infant, you become innocent like that. Don't judge anything at all. Don't have to worry about anything at all. I'm just saying something very simple, which is that whatever may come, you are perceiving that. That is why you can say it is coming. You are perceiving that, and also you are aware of this perception, isn't it? You are aware of this perception.

Oh no, yes. Sometimes it feels it's so close or I don't know. It's like...

It's like that. Don't try to solve it for your past and future, just for right now. You've done this before. You are perceiving this hand?

Yeah, yes.

And you are aware that you are perceiving this hand?

Yeah, I don't know exactly what that means, but yeah.

This is good, I like this conversation. So there is a sight—you are seeing, no? Sight is happening about this, you see. But you are also aware of sight, which is not sight itself. This awareness is not a seeing; you are just aware of it. So if there was no sight, you would still be aware that there was no smell, you see. So awareness is not just sight, smell, taste—all of this put together. It is independent of all of this. See? Now if that is too confusing, leave it. Just tell me what you feel about that.

I feel like I have a sense of this awareness, but it's a bit blurry. Like, it's not...

Yes, yes, that is good enough. So this sense is blurry because actually, if you try to look at it as if it is an object, you cannot find it. So maybe the visualization from the mind is some blurriness or some dark empty space which is elusive—sometimes there, sometimes not there. But what I'm pointing to is something simpler than that. I'm saying that with your eyes open, looking at the screen, you are perceiving this hand, isn't it? That much is clear, that it is you that is perceiving this hand. This 'you'—can that be seen?

I don't think so.

Yeah, it's okay. It's okay to say 'I don't know, I don't think so.' It's fine. Now, and yet without seeing it or without being sure of the answer, you're clear it is you, isn't it? So if I was to say, 'Is it the wall that is seeing this hand? Is it your next-door neighbor that is seeing this hand? Is it Shivani on the next screen that is seeing this hand?' You say, 'No, it is me, Father. I am seeing this hand,' isn't it?

Yes.

So you conclude this 'I' without actually seeing this 'I,' isn't it? You cannot see this 'I' and yet you are concluding that it is 'I.' See? On what basis is that conclusion made? Do you need to think about it a lot before you conclude it is you? No. You need to see the shape and size of it before you can conclude it is you, isn't it? So that is your self-discovery. You're coming to your discovery of your own being which is perceiving all of this.

But somehow there's something like very, very—like feeling that I'm not really getting it because everything is so...

It's very good because I attracted—notice the place where you could be getting it or not getting it. Can you notice that space? You can notice that space where it's like a bit confusing, 'Am I getting it or not getting it?' Notice that space and forget about it.

But it's like everywhere. I don't know. It's like all the space. I don't find any other space which is...

You're not getting it? Where you're not getting it? In your throat also? In the throat area also you're not getting it?

I'm not asking where you're getting it. I'm saying that the constriction, like 'I'm not getting it,' is it—and you say it's everywhere. Is it in your nose? I'm saying I don't get it because I would expect some release from all this contraction. Yes, weird, weird sense.

Yes, my dear. So where is that expectation? Is that expectation a thought?

I can't discern that. I don't know.

How do you know there is this expectation? Like a feeling of anger or something? I don't know. The feeling like that has the label 'expectation' on it, no? You see? So where is that expectation? Where are the labels? Okay, let's make it easier now. What is this? A hand. Where is that label 'hand'? Is it everywhere? Slowly, don't worry about it. Don't work too hard. Very effortlessly, slowly. Is the label 'hand' coming from everywhere? Like the wall is saying 'hand, hand,' the space is saying 'hand,' everything is saying 'hand'? Is it like that?

But I don't know where it's coming from. It's going from—I don't know, really.

Just look at that. Where is it perceived? Don't worry about where it comes from also. Where is the label 'hand' perceived? Okay, what is this? Just keep seeing if you can notice where the label comes. What is this? Don't worry, it sounds even if it seems like a childish exercise, just stay with me. I feel like it's helpful. What is this?

Phone.

You see? So you can notice the hand, glass, phone. You see? You can observe the label arising. You don't have to investigate where it comes from, but the term when it comes, you can observe it. Okay? Don't worry, don't worry. So now we'll try another thing.

I just say one thing. I feel sometimes I'm so crazy, like I'm so mental, and I'm so ashamed to speak to you because I'm just like...

Perfectly fine, perfectly fine. This integrity actually I love, so don't worry about it at all. As long as you are open like this, we are very, very good. Okay, now let's do another experiment. Don't say the label out loud, okay? Don't say that this is finger, this is hand, this is phone. Okay? Just notice if the label comes within you, where it comes. Okay? So what is this? Very good. What is this? What is this? What is this? Can you spot for yourself like the names were coming up for you somewhere, no?

It just comes very—I don't know, I can't see where. Yeah, it feels like it just comes. I don't know where it comes.

The name comes. The name comes like 'one, two, three, four, five' like that, or 'finger, finger.' The name comes. So you can notice how the name comes. You don't have to worry about where it comes from, how big is it—none of that you have to worry about. But you can get a sense, you can notice the labels and what they look like.

Not so much. I feel maybe there's not enough distance or something. I don't know. They just come. I don't feel like I have space.

This is very good to spot, you see? Because it can feel like for some time that it is me, it is coming as me itself. It's all over me, you see? It's just all over me. I can't have—so that's very well spotted, that there's no feeling of you watching that. It is feeling that you yourself become that when that comes. Is it like this?

Yeah, the same with the mind many times. Like there's no distance to observe the mind, it just feels ongoing.

Yes, yes. Okay, so then this is good and this is good. So like this, then what you have to do first is just look right now and expose when the next thought comes. What is the thought that came?

No thought is coming.

That is very good. If no thought is coming, means that is the no-mind. That's a lot like—no?

But what came is like—yeah, but inside my being I feel so claustrophobic, like there's no space and...

Yeah, but you notice your job is just to notice the thought when it comes. You noticed it? Yeah, this was the first thought. Now let's take the next one.

Some fear about these things.

And see one thing, that there's a big gap between thoughts, which means that there's some mumbling there, but I don't pay attention to it. Like when the thought is really clear, then I stay there. Big gap between two clear thoughts. That means that you're more free than you think. And what about this contraction, like feeling of soulful inside?

Your job is just to notice the thought when it comes.

You noticed it, yeah. This was the first thought. Now let's take the next one. Some fear about these things. And see one thing, that there's a big gap between thoughts, which means that there's some mumbling there, but I don't pay attention to it. Like when the thought is really clear, then I stay.

Yeah, big gap between two clear thoughts. That means that you're more free than you think.

And what about this feeling of soulful inside? Like when you say be empty, I feel so full. Like I'm not empty at all.

Yes, I have to clarify then what empty means. Empty only means that whatever has to go, we let it go. We don't resist it going. Openness means we don't resist anything coming, and empty means we don't resist it going. Easier? You can re-watch our conversation right here.

Yes, yes, yes. Thank you.

So just like this. And when it feels like there's too much claustrophobia, you see, just feels like too much claustrophobia, notice that: is the claustrophobic idea inherent in the energy itself or the constriction feeling itself, or is it only feeling claustrophobic after the mind labels it as something? And I'm saying all this fast because I know you'll re-watch this, so re-watch in your own pace. So the question is, when you feel like there's too much constriction or claustrophobia in your being, notice whether there is energy which is strong enough to make your being constricted or claustrophobic, or you only feel that way after it is labeled as bad, or it should go, or 'Why is this still here?' Any of these sort of labels. So this itself will help you become open and empty. And in that open and empty, what I'm pointing to is very, very clear, very, very simple. And this gap is very, very good.

Thank you so much.

The problem is not that you are too bound. Maybe the problem is you're too free and your mind doesn't know what to do with that.

Don't know about that. Oh, thank you. And just one more thing: it's still okay to leave everything to grace, no? When I feel I just don't know what to do, just...

Of course. Just leave everything and 'I don't know' fully, fully, fully.

Yeah, thank you so much.

Okay, last thing I'll read is Diana Anthony: 'Lots of love and gratitude. Life is taking me to Canada in two months. Before that, I would love to come and see you.' Yes, my dear, always welcome are you. If you're in Bangalore, of course it's easy. Otherwise, wherever you are, you're very welcome to come. It's your own home; you can come anytime. So also, maybe for practical conversations about this, you could speak to Jyoti Ma if you're connected on Facebook or something like this. This one is called Aim Dollar.

Thank you all so much for being in Satsang today. Satguru Sangat ki Jai.