Come What May, I Will Not Leave You, God - 15th December 2023

Thank you, my dear. Thank you so much. The ways to the truth are so many, but the truth itself is universal. And every way is meant to make us innocent and simple so that we can, in our innocence, meet His presence within ourselves. And whether we are in the quest to find this presence or we have met it, we can be with it. Our intention, our attempt, should only be to remain in the light of this presence or to find the scent of this and to keep going deeper and deeper, following His scent, His perfume, His fragrance within ourselves. And then, like the beautiful words of the bhajan, the saint said, 'If you want to leave, you can, but I will never leave you.' That must be our only intention: I will never leave His light, His presence. So ultimately, like you said very nicely also, there could be so many different ways, but we must let go of our 'me,' the so-called self, and remain in the innocence of a child without the pride of knowledge in His light. And every path must—every true path must lead to Him alone, to this alone. Yes.

Thank you. Yeah, you confirm so much what I felt. It's really, although we know we are still identified with the 'me,' it takes some time to feel the heaviness of it fully. Because we can understand quite quickly when we are explained, as well as we are in Advaita, that we cannot be this mind, but still the fascination for even for spirituality as a whole display of insights of different qualities. And even when we identify with humanity, we are still a super-super 'me,' loving a huge projection actually. And this has been fantasized here quite a lot, you know. And what you was saying is exactly what is felt, that ultimately only peace is what is. And peace and clarity are one, and surrender. It cannot be a grasping or a 'super-duper,' as Guruji says, super-duper consciousness. This is the dream of a refined spiritual ego or something like that, you know. I just feel it's a dream. It's still seen as a projection for some future and it's not full. It's not peace. It's not peace. Not food, anyway, not food, but not peace. It's not clarity either. Yeah, thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Let's go to Sylvia.

Hello, hello. Can you hear me good?

Yes, very well. Thank you.

Yeah. First of all, it's nice to talk with you again. It's been a while. So, yeah, last night I had a beautiful dream with you and Guruji, which doesn't happen so often, and I felt so much love and I felt a calling to come to speak with you. I don't particularly have something to say, yes, and maybe—not maybe—yeah, this prayer to be fully open to God.

Do you feel that something that you can spot gets in your way?

Yes, yes. Like you say, moment to moment to spend time with God, sometimes like this liar voice tricks me to get into maybe self-image or pride or projection, like this sensation that I'm a 'me' and immediately I become—I mean, is this sensation that of selfishness or...

Yes. So when you say sensation, what do you mean? Sensation of selfishness?

Like there is a suggestion of mind which feels smelly somehow, but the action, like in day-to-day action, sometimes it's like I act upon this suggestion which, I don't know, just...

Yes. So do you feel that the seeming distance from God's presence is created when the action is taken based on the suggestion from the mind, or is there something in the middle that happens before that?

In the middle, yes.

So what is that? So the suggestion comes from the mind, you see. It says, 'Go here, do this, this is right, this is wrong,' all of these things. And then subsequently there's an action. What is the step in the middle?

I would say, I—or yeah, yeah.

You mean that there's a sense of 'I,' an individual 'I' that seems to get created?

Yeah, yeah. And like recently I saw this thing, you know, this strong unspotted sensation that like I have like an interior somehow, like a private emotional life or something like inside, which it's not true actually.

So how does this 'I,' the individual ego, seem to come alive? And that is what we must stop, isn't it? Because that is—if that is what blocks us from living in God's life, then that is what must stop.

I'm not sure that I fully hear your question, but...

Okay, so let's go together. We can try this together. A thought may come. Suppose the thought says, 'Lift your right hand,' you see? And you take that action of lifting the right hand. At which point did you create the false 'me,' or at which point does the false 'me' seem real?

When you believe, like you give your power to this, you give life.

Yes. Now, can there be any thought which forces us to give this power? That the thought makes a suggestion or a command, whatever—can it force you to believe it? Is any thought powerful enough like that?

No.

So when we buy into that thought, we are taking the only room that is there within our house and we are giving it to the 'me.' We say that yes, there is a 'me' like this, and the house belongs to this 'me.' When we let this thought come and go, then the house remains empty for God. So we must take the instruction very literally: that the lane is too narrow, that there can be either God or me. And if no thought actually has the power to force you to believe in the 'me,' then somewhere we make that choice to be egoic rather than Godly, to be personal rather than universal. So it is for this that we need spirituality, all of spirituality, so that we don't become—we don't take ourselves to be individualized in this way, so that our inner space remains sacred, so that inner space then remains empty and sacred for God's light to be found and to be lived in, you see. So those moments where God's presence is here, those are the moments that we can call life, you see. The rest of all the moments between birth and death are all death anyway. So we must endeavor to lead a true life because that is the most important endeavor, the most important gift, the most important treasure. And we must not waste the opportunity day after day to not find and to not live in His light. And the mind is very good at providing reasons: 'Oh, today this happened, today that happened, today there was some work, today the body was not well, today I was very upset with something, today I had a problem in my relationship, today there was some important news.' So every day goes like this, and we may regret it at the end of our life that we did not truly use even a single day. We did not use even a single day to live fully in God's light. And if that is all that we truly want, then that is the simplest thing actually. But it is because we want—we fall into the trap of Maya which tells you that other things are important that we let go of this holy opportunity every day. So every time the waking state arises, it is an opportunity to be with God, to live in Atma Darshan, to live in Atma Gyan every time the waking state arises. And what happens? This is what I mean when I say the battle is for time. The whole day goes in something or the other and God is forgotten, even for those of us who are spiritual, so-called spiritual. But if you were to truly make our life only about the truth, only about His presence, then it would not be difficult. But it is the trap of egotism that is laid by the mind through the sending of these thoughts which are well-designed to tempt us, to make us believe that we are somebody individual. And this we must let go of. Even if it seems difficult, we must transcend so that finally it is His light that shines through in our life. Please know that I'm not exaggerating at all when I say that our life is not life; it is a zombie life, it is a dead life without His light. I have no reason to exaggerate or to lie, and I want to hear this from all of you as well, that you can taste the difference between living an egoic life and a life of God's light, of God's presence. But if you're going to surround even your spiritual search with self-concern, with 'What about me? Am I finding it? Am I finding God?'—no, you cannot, because as long as you are there, He is hidden. You must get out.

When I say that our life is not life, it is a zombie life, it is a dead life without His light, I have no reason to exaggerate or to lie. And I want to hear this from all of you as well, that you can taste the difference between living an egoic life and a life of God's light, of God's presence. But if you're going to surround even your spiritual search with self-concern—with 'What about me? Am I finding it? Am I finding God?'—no, you cannot. Because as long as you are there, He is hidden. You must get out of the way. You don't exist. That one doesn't exist, so it is not important.

So at what point will we really make a full attempt to only live in His light? When will that day come where our true intention is to only live in His light? Because when that is our only intention, that is our only desire, then—because Maya is such a strong trickster—then our life will seem like it is lived midway between God and the illusory realm of Maya. But if you say that, 'Yes, I'm going to do a bit of this and a bit of that and also balance my life with spirituality,' then it's not going to happen. At best, you will have a few moments if that is His grace, but that is not a worthy life worth living. Okay, all good?

So we need to put God at the center of our story. And the mind has many, many rationalizations, reasons why we don't do that day after day. But I tell you that none of those reasons are ever justified. None of those reasons are ever true. It is just delaying tactics. And those who realize that this is true then are looking for some reasons to make themselves feel like, 'Oh yes, but I couldn't help it because this happened or that happened.' So, 'I couldn't be with God today because this happened. My mind was too active. My emotions were on overdrive. My life was topsy-turvy.'

And if that is all it takes—that some perceptions have to start shaking for us to leave God's hand—then the words of the bhajan are not true, that 'I will not leave you, come what may.' The rest is Your business. Whether You leave me or not is Your business. The words may seem very simplistic, but there's a depth there. That is the commitment that we need to make. And that is why faith is so important. Why must it be that one man has to come twice a week and tell you that you must be with God? Because we somewhere have the potential to make God into a work of fiction, just a conceptual idea.

But if you lived in faith, which means that you trust your intuitive insight, you trust what the Satguru presence is showing you, then who would ever want to exchange His presence for some personal narrative, some story? Who would ever want to do it? So I can only keep reminding you that the one whose presence is within yourself is the highest. He is the One. And if you really relied on your heart inside, you would see that this is true; then you would never want to exchange. So don't make your spirituality also about the false one. Just start on a fresh slate, empty right now. Leave all narratives, leave all stories. They will not help you.

There is a being whose presence you call 'I am.' That being is the presence of God. All you have to do to be with that holiness, wholeness, is to get over your false self. But the mind is the machine of stubborn refusal, of stubborn refusal to get over yourself. It always finds a hundred good reasons, a hundred good excuses to not let go. Is today going to be the day? Is now going to be the moment where you say that, 'Come what may, I will not leave You, God'? Is this going to be the moment? Or you tell me how many lives later we should meet? When will you be done with your stuff? When will your projects be done? Let's see, and then I meet you then. Because this is for all of you, and not just for Sylvia.

But yes, Father, I... yeah, yes to... yes. It doesn't feel to make promises, just to say yes to what you say.

Yes, very, very... Now, once this part becomes clear to all of you, then our questions can become also very direct in the sense that, 'I try to live in God's light, but this is what gets in the way. Do you have something to offer in terms of assistance to make sure that, or to help me so that this whatever gets in my way doesn't get in my way?' Once the project is clear—that is to live a life in God's light, that is to live a life in the truth of self-discovery, in the reality of Atma Gyan—then we say yes.

What happens is, 'I wake up in the morning, I want to start by living in God's presence, but the mind attacks me with a hundred ideas about things to do,' or something like that. Or you say that whatever gets in the way of your leading a true life. That's how then the flow of satsang can become very straightforward and direct. Because I realized—I had a conversation yesterday and I realized that I speak so much and about so many things that for many of you, even the project is not clear. Even what we're doing here is not really clear because maybe I just speak too much, as I'm doing now. So, is what we're doing here clear after all that I said? What are we doing?

Yes. He said make space for God, make room for God, and to remain in His presence. And His presence, the recognition of the Absolute, is all but apparent. There is no struggle involved.

So if this is the project, how can I be of service to all of you? That should be what the question is about, or the questions are about. If all of us lived one minute away from the greatest gift that we could ever receive, that resolves everything in our life—all of us lived one minute away from that, you see—but we refuse to turn in that direction, live in that way, or go towards that. Then what would be the best way to guide all of you to that which is so close and yet seems so far?

And the nature of Maya is to make this into a time loop, Groundhog Day. So I've already had this conversation for twelve years, and maybe it'll happen for the next same number of years or whatever number of years, I don't know. But what stops the next twelve from being just like the previous twelve? When do I see you like, really? Because what I'm saying is very stark. I'm saying that you are not living, and the only way to live is to be in His light. And yet I'm not able to make it your only priority somehow. What else do you need to hear to break through the spell of Maya, the hypnosis of Maya?

So much I can relate what you're saying, Father, with what I'm talking to my daughter. Right? She wants to study but cannot study something, and her 'something' is there in her mind saying that, 'Okay, I want to do it but somehow I'm pulled towards my computer' or what. Same exactly you are asking me to do, same thing. What is it? Just I want it. She also wants to study. I also want to be in... I can only say I will put my best efforts there, Father. Thanks.

Yes, it is that best effort which is needed. It is our intention is to put our best foot forward, you see. And Maya, because she's a super trickster, we make that into some half-mangled thing. But if our intention itself is to juggle, is to balance, then it'll become minuscule; it'll not be anything at all. So this is the battle in some sense, because Maya is not going to let go of you that easily. 'Ah, you want God, is it? Okay, please carry on.' That is not the design of Maya. She's going to fight tooth and nail to make you back into the 'me,' back into selfishness, back into pride, back into being somebody, some 'somebody special.' Okay, thank you. May everything that is here, by the grace of God, be cleared up if it's His will and His timing. Thank you. Let's go to Kisha.

Hello. Okay, um, pride has kept me from coming up for a while. Not because I feel like that it's felt that I'm living in God's light and don't need to come up, but that I feel like I haven't been living in God's light and have been hiding in that. And pride is... yeah, the pride has kept me there. So, can you hear me, Father?

Yes. Okay, I just got feedback that my volume is very low. Is that true? Yeah, you're speaking... I think it's just your voice, the speaking. Okay, yeah. So, very good. So this... there's a pride which can come, you're absolutely right, in terms of when we are thinking that we are living in the light of God. When we think we are living in the light of God, then that pride is called spiritual ego because it's just thinking.

No, I don't think I'm...

Yes, yes. So there's another type of pride, which is that, 'I'm not living in the light of God and yet I'm right.'

Yeah, exactly.

Because, 'I have the valid reasons. I know what is right and wrong, what is good and bad, what is fair and unfair, and I have done all that evaluation and I'm not living in God's light and yet still I'm right because these are the reasons.' That is the other form of pride.

Yeah, and it's really just unbearable, you know? It's such an inner war. And pride is, yeah, is the cause. And I'm not reaching out for true help from you, and I'm actually looking for more reasons to stay there in pride and darkness. Because my reasons of pride seem more important than letting them go. And I don't want to get stuck there.

Yeah. Because suppose that you were right, or you are right about everything, huh? Suppose you are right about everything. Each of you are fully right about everything that you are thinking and believing, and then you die. What's the point? And what is the use?

Sounds like hell.

You see? No, I'm saying that suppose there was a way that your thoughts could become true, like you have a unique siddhi, you see? You have a unique superpower. You are the only ones for whom your thoughts are actually true. They're not limited; they are unlimited universal truths, you see. So you ended up believing all of them, and everyone else in the world that you meet, you could say, 'I'm right, I'm right, I know I'm right. Even my Master has told me I am right.' Suppose you could do that throughout your life, you see, and then it's over. It's over. So what would be the point of that life?

No point. It goes in death. There's no point. It's gone.

Exactly. So we must make sure that we are picking the right turf, you see? The right turf. Because if our turf is going to be in the mind, in the intellect, about good and bad, right and wrong, all of these things, then we are falling for the most primitive trick that the mind has to offer. Instead, we must not be concerned about any of that. Let's drop all the self-concern and really, like a fish gasping for water, with that kind of urgency, get into the dogged pursuit of God. Don't waste a moment on things which are not about that. Otherwise Maya, the great seeming, will trap you. It will trick you. It will say, 'Oh here, see. Oh here, see. Oh here, see.' But all this 'see' is Maya. It's a great seeming. It has nothing to do with anything.

So don't let the dream distract you from God's reality. It's very important. And it's all right. In fact, I'm less concerned when you tell me it seems like a war, and I'm more concerned when you tell me that, 'Oh yeah, it's easy, I'm always in God's light. What's the next topic for satsang today?' Because that first pride is much more troublesome than this second one, you see? Because the second one is actually built on very frail ground. The first one can be built on the words of satsang itself, or the words which are pointers to the truth itself. So that pride is something that only grace can fix, because words will not work anymore and it blocks the presence anyway.

And if it feels like a bit of a struggle, that's why I was saying that satsang at some level should feel like you had a workout at the gym. And if it starts to feel too comfortable, then I'm starting to get a bit concerned about which way my words are being heard and whether they are being heard at all, you see? Because if all this stuff that you're noticing now does not come to your light...

It is a thing that only Grace can fix because words will not work anymore, and it blocks the presence anyway. So, if it feels like a bit of a struggle, that's why I was saying that, um, satsang at some level should feel like you had a workout at the gym. If it starts to feel too comfortable, then I'm starting to get a bit concerned about which way my words are being heard and whether they are being heard at all, you see? Because if all this stuff that you're noticing now does not come to your light and you're living in some complacent sort of idea that, 'Yes, yes, it's all fine, all is good, I'm pure awareness itself'—which is true—but that must be discerned by the master based on the fragrance that you emanate, that all of you emanate. Then I will not have any reason to be concerned at all.

So, nothing would give me more joy than if it was true that all of my satsangis are so fully open and empty that we don't need to speak about pride, servitude, faith, humility, all of these things. But that is not what my heart is telling me. It tells me that the teacher himself is a beginner and a serious work in progress, so that is very apparent. So, we are all in this together in that way.

Yeah, Father. And when I get lost in that and try to make a home there, you know, and keep giving reasons why to live there, it's like I try so hard to pray and pray and pray and pray, and then but also to stay there at the same time, and that doesn't work.

Yes. So, what does that prayer look like?

It's an offering. It's an offering when it's a—I don't know. I don't know what to do, where to go. And it's just saying, 'God, look, you see this? I'm not hiding what this is. I'm not hiding this conditioning. Can you just look at it and see it?' And I don't know what else to do at that point.

Yes, yes, yes. But to offer it up so clearly. So, when we offer it up, then in those moments you don't want to live there. You don't want to be right. You don't want to build your house there. But then you revert back to that mode, is it? Okay, yes. So, that is bound to be a very difficult roller coaster, that you have moments of sheer surrender where you're saying—because it requires noticing first ourselves, doesn't it, to be able to offer it to God? So then at least we are not living in la-la land anymore, saying, 'Oh, I'm so sorted, where are my disciples?' You see, you're not living in that kind of la-la land.

So, to bring it to God with integrity requires us to notice truly, which is very, very good. So then, it is the nature of the mind, of course, to tempt you back in, you see? As soon as you're done communing with God, being God, it is the nature of the mind to try and pull you back into the 'me' and how the 'me' is right, and all of the narratives that it has. And you see what it does also is that it is already blocked, you see? It is already blocked, like it preempts. It preempts and says, 'Okay, now I knew you would say, but what about God?' But I knew, you see? I knew you will say.

Like for years, I heard this response saying, 'I knew you will say, "Who is I? Who am I?"' You see? So over the years, so many have heard that. 'I'm not going to bring this to you because I knew you would say that.' I used to say, 'Okay, so then, okay, what do you want this conversation to be? Should we just lie? Should we just lie? Will that be better?' And then the rationalization comes: 'But apparently you lie with so many others, why can't you lie with me? How is it that you don't want to lie only with me? You see, I've seen you talk to other children who live in Bangalore and you are okay to lie with them, so why can't you lie with me?' The absurdity of all of it, and how the mind's value judgments are just the other way around, you see?

So, if it was true that this expression of Ananta was this way, you see, and he told the truth only to one of you and he just told lies and spoke lies to everyone else, which one would you rather be? You would want to hopefully be the only one that he's telling the truth to, isn't it?

Yeah, Father. So it's very important that we don't fall for the mind tricks, confuse the value judgments which the mind has on offer, you see.

Um, and if whoever—actually doesn't even have to be your master—whoever points you to God, reminds you of God, we must touch their feet and bless them. We must bless them. We must be so grateful that we were caught up in some narrative which is soon going to die; instead, we were pointed to the Eternal Being, to the only living water, to the only life that is.

Father, Father, I, you know, when I'm in my heart and seeing clearly, like your love, I sense your love so deeply, you know, in those moments. And it doesn't matter externally what happens. But when there's pride and selfishness, I totally take you for granted and limit you being in my life, and I know that.

Yes, and this is a very common human condition. That's why I was saying that, going back to that instance of people saying, 'Oh, I knew you will say, "But who are you now?"' Because what happens? Because in that question, you see, the false narratives, the false stories, all have to drop away. Then the mind resists and says, 'Oh, but when did he ask you the question? You talk to him about all kinds of things, and things you didn't say, "Who am I?"' You see? How is that fair? So, this is the absurdity of the mind saying that, 'Okay, I know you're pointing me to a greater truth, but I want to continue the illusion, the delusion. So meet me at a level which doesn't break my narratives, doesn't help me to let go of my ego.'

Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I know I'm guilty of that, all of us. Father, I just don't—I don't want to die and keep treating you like a person, you know? Because I tasted that. I tasted the impersonal and the—

Yes, but I'm going to change your project also, this one also. It's not that this one is even as urgent as I want it to be. It's like there's a dream full of ghosts, you see? There's a dream full of ghosts, and what is most important is to snap out of the dream and come to the true reality of God. If we are still talking about, 'Okay, the way I see this ghost or the way I see that ghost,' and how it's that, you see, and all of that, then also we can get confused about really what is the project. Really, the project is like—it doesn't matter how you see this alarm clock. It's just a stupid, foolish alarm clock. It has only one tune, which is: wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up.

So if you take it to be a robot or a computer program or a stupid doll, mannequin, something, whatever, it doesn't matter, you see? The whole idea is for you to wake up, to wake out of this dream. Because the fact is that neither you nor me are here. None of this is—this is just the dream of God, the dream of the one Being, which is our reality. So don't try to modify things here, make things come to the right conclusions about things here. Don't worry about any of that. Just wake up. Wake up.

Okay, yeah. I hear you, Father. I hear you. Thank you. Thank you. Can I ask, Father—you have given all the pointers, possible pointers, and I can assure that I really, really want to be with God. Despite that, despite that, Maya mode comes in. So will you—

Maya mode doesn't come in, okay? As long as we feel we keep presenting it as if we are a victim of Maya. You say, 'I really want to be with God,' which is true. I know that. I know you in your heart, you really want this. So then don't get tricked when Maya, the mind, tells you that, 'Oh, but it just happens.' Make it happen just by itself, like you commit in your heart to be only in His life now. It's not possible—we are never held hostage. Maya tries to do us; it cannot put a gun to our head. She can lure us. It's a con artist, no? Con artists don't force you and say, 'Give me all your money.' They lure you.

And Kabir Ji said that she is a 'Mahathugni,' that she doesn't force you, she doesn't compel you, is it? She lures you, she tempts you. He says, 'Ah, yes, yes, God of course is most important, you see, but right now, what about this?' There's some narrative which will make itself seem so important. And what we give up for what, we don't realize. God Himself is your being, and we give that up for what? Some silly thing. So let it at least work very, very hard to lure you in. Let it at least come up with something extraordinary, super special, you see? And don't fall for the same trick twice. If you keep falling for the same trick twice, then our life becomes Groundhog Day. We just keep going in that same loop, and then we just carry the good intentions, but we don't have the fire in our commitment to let go of her.

So it needs—sometimes it seems very difficult because if you feel like you've been wronged, it's very tempting to believe attack thoughts, to believe defense thoughts, to prove yourself to be right, to take justice in your own hands, you see? These things are very important to remember: that let all justice be God's. So when I say that we must really take ourselves to be beggars, servants—whatever is left of me, may that only be a beggar servant—that will help us in such a deep way, you see, from the lures of the mind. Because the mind tempts us with specialness, pride: 'I'm so good, I'm better, I'm more spiritual, I've seen God, I have all of this.' You see? We are not better than anybody at all.

And if you get trapped in the trap which is that 'I don't exist at all, therefore I'm special'—which part you're not saying, the second part, no? So if it is true that you don't exist and you mean it, then you're empty, it's fine, you see? But because that gets connected to specialness, that is the spiritual ego, that becomes trouble. So don't take yourself to be better than any brother or sister in this world. It may seem to be disconnected from the question, but actually it is very, very important.

Let's go to Clarissa first.

Hello and thank you. Um, what the previous seeker said, it's here also. My life situation changed completely. I'm living now with my parents and it's very challenging for me, and I have a new job and this is also really challenging. And I can see that there is so much ego and fear here coming up, and pressure. And when she spoke, I felt that when the pressure goes there, the fear comes. Yeah.

So, thank you. Thank you, I appreciate the question. Let's frame it so that it correlates with what is the project of satsang. What is it that we are trying to do in satsang? And let's frame the question from that perspective.

To come to the insight of God and be with God, yes. To come to the insight of God's presence and to live in the light of His presence, yes.

So, how would you reframe your question now?

How can I be with God during the day? It doesn't matter where I am.

So, in this way, it may seem like it is only semantics that we are changing, but actually if you take this to be your true question and actually make God at the center of the story—if there's going to be a story, the best story is that which has God as the principal character, the main character. Of course, best is to not have a story at all, then God's light is shining throughout uninterrupted, unimpeded. But if there's going to be a story, then let that be a story of the Bhakta, which means that the devotee is only troubled by the fact that his life is not 100% spent in God's life, in God's love, in God's presence.

So, is that what you really want, or is that a way to get peace or happiness or absence of suffering? It seems that that is a way to get peace and be free from suffering, yes, my child. So that is why it is important to correct this perspective, because the one that we want all of these things for, then that is the false one. And then even in the spiritual search, we continue to give nutrition, nourishment to the idea of this false one who should find a way to come to some peace. Are you able to hear what I'm saying? In the middle I wasn't, but at the end I come back. Let me repeat because it is important, no? It is important. So, if God becomes a mechanism for me to get—

So that is why it is important to correct this perspective, because the one that we want all of these things for, you see, then that is the false one. And then even in the spiritual search, we continue to give nutrition, nourishment, to the idea of this false one who should find a way to come to some peace. Are you able to hear what I'm saying?

In the middle I wasn't, but at the end I come back.

Let me repeat because it is important. No, it is important. So if God becomes a mechanism for me to get peace or a life of happiness or free from suffering, you see, then that would be fine if this 'me' was actually a reality. But because this 'me' is not a reality and the only reality is God and His light, you see, therefore to keep Him at the center of the narrative is a step up from keeping the 'me' at the center of the narrative. And as you explore this more and more, you will realize that I have put it across very simply, but this has the power to transform our entire life. When we remove the false one from the center, you see, and put the true one at the center, then our life really transforms into a worthy life—a life of devotion to God, of true Atma Gyan and insight. See? So then our insight doesn't become 'Oh, I want it so that I can be peaceful.' You see? So it's like saying 'I want to get rid of the me so that me can be peaceful,' which is like consuming the poison and taking the antidote at the same time. What's going to happen? It will seem like a treadmill. And most in modern spirituality seem to be on this treadmill because 'me' wanting freedom so that 'me' can be peaceful, you see. So, okay, when will I come to peace? Maybe I need to have a deeper insight so that I can come to more peace, you see. So we must make God at the center of whatever narrative we have. And if it is not possible for us, like our temperament is so opposed to that kind of life, then we must make the truth the center of our story. Everything must be about what is real, what is true, you see. And even from that perspective, the false one wanting peace or a life of absence of suffering is not possible because 'me' itself is the cause of suffering. It is never another; it is never our life circumstances; it is never about who else is in front of us and what our situation is. The only cause of suffering always is 'me.' So, and this 'me' is the lie; it is the ultimate con job. So make either truth or God, which are ultimately the same thing, you see—Satyam and Shivam are the same thing—so make them the center of everything. If you make all of this about 'me,' then you must focus on the inquiry and ask yourself: Who is this 'me'? Who is this 'me' that I want to make peaceful?

I do this and I recognized that this 'I' can be seen, and there must be something which sees this desire. But then the mind starts and it's so easily caught in the mind game.

Okay, so who are you?

I don't know.

Yes, yes. Thank you. So I was hoping for a sincere answer, which I'm grateful I got. So thank you for that. So this 'I don't know,' you see, is very important because it is truer than 'I am a person' or 'I am this me.' To admit that I don't know who I am is the first step towards true knowledge, you see. So from 'me' to 'I don't know' is a much more difficult process than from the 'I don't know' to the true Atma Gyan; that is much easier if you approach it with that innocence. So if you don't know who you are, then who is the story about? That story was about a 'me,' but we don't know who that 'me' is. We must first find out who that is, isn't it? So either we make God the central character of our narrative, the central being of our narrative, or we investigate the nature of the 'me.' Both will lead us to the same point. So already you made a good start by checking and confirming that 'I don't know.' And we spend our whole life catering to this 'me' without knowing who this 'me' is, and that has to change, isn't it? Important for that to change? We must find out: who is this 'me'? Or if it is more natural for us, we must make everything about God. You can start whichever way based on your temperament and what resonates with you, but both will come to the same point. Whoever you are going to be concerned about, you must know who that is. Yes. And so then if you endeavor to find out, if you have a pure intention to find out 'I'm going to find out who I am,' then don't leave that, you see. Then stick with it. Dig deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper till you hit the water of Atma Gyan.

I need your help.

I'm here. I'm always here. Always here to help. But I'm here to help; you have to do the work. Thank you very, very much. Okay, let's go to Shanti, who can't really speak because Mom is asleep next to her, but she just wants to come up and say hi. I've been reading your messages that you post in the satsangs and very good, very good. Keep going, keep going like this. Bless you, bless you always. All my love, all my blessings. Thank you. Better for my... I try to make it louder by keeping it closer, but maybe it had the opposite effect. This is better. Okay, hello Father.

Hello. Sorry, Father. Just, I feel like recently I want to share something with you which, not like I was hiding, but I did not share for so long and I didn't feel any need to share actually. But recently, I don't know, I feel like maybe I want to just share it because, sorry, it's just like an expose. So that's why just so many things happening in my body and yes, maybe I just need to say it and then we can see how it goes. Yeah. I'm not sure, like, sharing it publicly, is it okay? Do I have to share it publicly? Or...

I have no idea what you're going to say, so I can't predict what is the sense you have. You can write to me if you like, or you can share here, whatever you feel.

I prefer to say it privately.

I see. Yeah, okay. That's fine too.

Okay, thank you. I have no idea where it will go, so yes, I don't want to put so much pressure on me.

Yes, yes. Thank you. Understand. Yes. Okay. Okay, let's go to... hello.

I really want this life to be for God and each day, each moment, I set a reminder in my phone. So 6:00 AM I have a reminder: 'How can I make this day about God?' Sorry, there's a fighter jet going over. And I stay in bed till I feel able to get up connected to God, but I still fritter away so much of the day and very much in concerns about body, so eating and lots of exercise and more eating and more exercise. And what I'm saying in my head is very different from what I'm doing with my time.

So okay, we don't have to make a linkage between the outer activities which may be flowing and whether we are inwardly connected with God or not. So exercising may happen, anything may happen, but that doesn't take us inwardly away from God's life. So I'm not saying that when I'm saying that we must live all the time in His life, I'm not saying that our life must now become empty of activity, see? I'm just saying that all activity can also be allowed to flow from His will. All movement can happen according to His will. So we remain empty. Like, I'm very happy to hear firstly that you have that reminder on your phone and also that you start your day and you don't get out of bed till you come to His presence. Then already with such an auspicious, auspicious start, what you should do is then, if God's presence is there, then allow Him to move you and to guide you in everything. So move towards the exercises or the eating or whatever activity only when He moves you or He guides you.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying I'm not doing yet.

And all of us are learning. Can I say that all 100% of my day goes like that? I cannot say it. I'm also learning. Because that is the primal human condition, to just rush and go to living on the mind's terms rather than waiting for God to move us in everything. He has not said that 'I will take care of just the important things' or 'just the big things' according to our mind. He wants us to follow His will in everything, and He's available for us to follow His will in everything. So all of us are learning this and we must continue to bring this to our attention, bring this to our focus, so that we learn to live in a deeper faith, in a deeper life, so that the temptations of the mind to go its own way don't seem that natural or compelling. Then our whole life becomes a satsang, because in the company of the truth, in the company of God, our life is satsang.

And I've really noticed that when my mind feels very busy, I don't really hear God.

Yes, but you notice that as you deprive the mind of belief, then even the moving things of the mind don't seem to take up all our attention and space, you see. They become that which seems so loud and needing so much attention, then becomes very minor whispers. They seem like some slight energy passing through you rather than a real voice speaking to you authoritatively.

I'm sorry, I'm just a bit distracted by the fighter jets going over. They practice flying between the mountains.

I see. Okay. They do that practice flying here also sometimes. I don't know if you heard when you were here in Bangalore, but there's a small runway close by and they practice here also. Yeah, it's true. That's why I don't hear them, because I'm so used to them. The mind becomes like that. You don't hear it much because you just allow it to come and go. It doesn't mean anything.

I didn't want to just sit here and pretend that I'm fully following your every word.

Very good, very good. But that's very important, that's very important. Because if you said you were, I'm not buying it anyway, you see. If you said you were, I'm not buying it. So but I appreciate the integrity to say that 'Yes, I know He's here, but this tempter still manages to tempt me.' And that's what you're working on and that's important. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Let's go to Divan.

Hello, Namaste. Yeah, I'm definitely always like empty, always open and empty. No, not always. Yeah, I realize that the mind, you know, was coming to say, you know, 'You've only spoken to him inside so there's no point going to expect.' But I have to say I'm happy, I'm happy that you are speaking to the one outside also. But I have to say that the one on the inside is much better. It is like so much like love and so much... like sometimes it's just feeling like the whole environment, you know. And it's like I realized like when I'm interacting, like for example, like let's say classmates, they are relating to you as a shape because they don't really know about this, that it's still something watches like the shape, like the sense of being like someone coming and speaking. So yeah, even I realize even when sometimes I get caught up and this, let's say the memory, the image, the imagery of myself comes, that this love is still there. It's like I just feel, I feel like your words, like you have activated something inside where I don't feel like I forget God. I just always have a feeling that the feeling that He's always here. Yes, formless reality that even before the body was made, like there's some things which I can't really explain, but somehow I sense that the reason why I somehow came to this manifestation was so I know this. Like I'm grateful to Mooji as well because he was able to like bypass my arrogance. I remember like the first time which I saw him like on a YouTube video, and although the video was like an old video, it wasn't even live, but he looked at the camera and like, you know, he's like in the gate of heaven, he just pulled me in the door. But still, like there was still something which like I told you about like the shape, the people of God, and even like with Jesus Christ because of the image I was only relating...

I'm grateful to Papi as well because he was able to like bypass my arrogance. I remember like the first time which I saw him like on a YouTube video, and although the video was like an old video, it wasn't even live, but he looked at the camera and like, you know, he's like in the Gate of Heaven. He just pulled me in the door. But still, like, there was still something which like I told you about, like the shape, the people of God. And even like with Jesus Christ, because of like the image, I was only relating to him in the form. Like you know how we were brought up, like they don't really go that deep even in—they don't really go that far. But somehow through your words, something was able to let go of the concept about God. I'm seeing that it's like, it's limitless, you know? It's like every—in whatever dimension you go to, but He's still pure. And like, I feel like this, like sometime I just feel like just on my bed and I'm just like, just so grateful. My heart is just so full of so much like love and so much joy.

It's like, yes, yes, I can see that. It's very beautiful. It's very beautiful. I'm just so grateful. I always speak to you inside. I'm very happy. And the only job of this one that appears on the outside is to enable that meeting on the inside, and I'm just a servant to that one. I'm very happy that the true meeting can happen for you in this way. Very happy.

I just have to come because I just detected the thought. I didn't want it to like, from shape to be formed, and I just—just come around.

It's very good also to spot this because the mind will also use this, you see? It tries to use everything. So it'll use this and say, 'But you have him on the inside, why do you have to come on the outside and speak to him on the outside?' But it's still good that you can, because the mind will try to create these barriers and distinctions where they are not, and it'll try to get you to take a position about meeting the Satguru presence within instead of in whichever way that he is available to you. So don't take either position and let your heart guide you moment to moment. Otherwise, this simple trick may start off innocently enough, you see? It may start off innocently enough, but tomorrow it'll try to sell you some pride, and after it'll tell you you don't need to come to satsang because he's there on the inside, you see? So it goes through all of this very easily and before you know it, you may get caught up in any of that. So I'm glad you didn't fall for the mind's trick and you continue to follow your heart. It's very good.

You know, I remember he said like, 'Emptiness conquers everything.' And when I heard that, it was just like an explosion. I wasn't—I couldn't really understand with the mind, but somehow I was really wired to understand what he's speaking about. It's like somewhere, like even where you're speaking about, something recognizes. Maybe not in—because the mind is like very clever, and also see that sometimes he—I—he's like, you know, like the clever mind, it's still very limited. So it's like, it still doesn't really understand the thing, but somehow it's like another space where I'm able to hear. Sometime you speak, you might speak like Indian language, to understand what you mean. You spoke about like, 'Emptiness conquers everything.' It didn't really make sense until when I begin to see, because like I feel—I used to think like that the person was like a real, like tangible entity. But I'm seeing that it's just like some—a false—like even conditioning is like a force. Or maybe let's say you be very happy and then the thought just comes like, take a shape onto all this stuff. It's like so graceful. And I also feel like the grace and a true understanding of like—it's like first, even in my visions, Jesus was like an image, you know? But then I saw, and the image was always changing. But now I'm seeing like that space in which the actual beingness itself, like the one beingness, one Consciousness that never dies, that is in all dimensions, is there. And even this, like something knows, a knowing of this, and here is no words.

Yes. So I would say that I completely agree with everything you're saying, but I would just add to that and say that it is possible to meet God at every level. And the subtler it gets, the more non-phenomenal it gets, the closer it is to reality and the absolute truth. But also don't become weary of any way of meeting Him, of being pointed to Him. So in India, for example, we have a tradition of putting up the Master's photos on the walls and various expressions of the one God, which we have also—each expression we've given some holy names to. We put their photos on the wall. So one way to look at it simply is that: love Him with all your might, with mind, body, soul, everything. So how to meet Him at the body level? Don't be averse to any of the images. They are just pointers that point you to His holy presence within. So there's no harm if you have a favorite image of Him in whatever way that you like it. It couldn't hurt you because if it becomes just about that, then maybe yes, but because the image is just now a pointer, just like the words of satsang, it's a reminder. So then that pointer is auspicious.

Then in the same way, we can meet Him at the level of the mind in the form of prayer, in the form of chanting, which itself takes us deeper into the heart, which then brings us to the holy presence within. And there, of course, we are just naturally communing with Him. And even remaining in the heart, sometimes the heart brings many scenes, visuals, appearances to your vision, and we can enjoy those, but we are not to get attached to them in any way, you see? They don't have any sort of dichotomy. Saying that, in whatever way you can find Him, meet Him, you see? So if it's going to be—a child just sent me yesterday, she sent me a beautiful cross which is made in Jerusalem, and the rosary is made out of the wood of the olive trees in Jerusalem. And such a beautiful rosary. So I loved it, and it's such a beautiful image, such a beautiful reminder in this realm. In this realm of Maya, these wake-up calls are very beautiful to receive. So I'm very happy to meet Him in any way that I can.

It's true what you say, because like I remember like when I was in like secondary school, it's very strange because I didn't even know anything about like this thing, but I used to like feel like sometimes like just emptiness, but I didn't know like the word like 'emptiness' and all that. And I remember even—and because I was still—it was still in the shape of which I was relating to Jesus, and sometimes it's like, pray God like maybe exam or some kind of miracles to happen. Even then, when I didn't know like this deeper aspect like this, I always speak of that at every level, relate to God is true. Because it's like sometimes even like my ignorance and even arrogance as well, like I'm still blessed somehow. I don't know, it's like I just feel somehow that I was like—something was destined to like just hear your words. This I know.

Thank you. All my love, all my blessings. Thank you. Very good, very good. Let's go to Nandita. Namaste.

Father, I wanted to come up in previous satsang so many times, but something was stopping me. Today I couldn't resist. I have nothing to share and ask, but I wanted to talk to you. What is your favorite topic of conversation?

Atma Gyan. Good, that's my favorite too.

I went to Vrindavan yesterday and I visited Neem Karoli Baba's temple, and I'm doing the Ram Ji's prayer. Very good, very good, very good. So I could do it from my heart, and I was praying to him to bless me with devotion. Yeah, looks like it worked, no? Or no? And whatever is left, I'm not able to see that clearly. I can't differentiate sometimes if it's coming from heart or mind. So I want—not I, but okay, it's okay, speak normally, fine. What do you want? I want to make the difference, you know? I want to see the difference whether it's coming from heart or mind.

So sometimes you get some guidance or prompting, but you feel that you're not able to distinguish whether it is the mind posing as the heart, you see? Because the mind can act very well also. Yes, act like the heart. Or whether it is truly coming from the heart. Yes. I've given three tools for us to be able to check on that, and the tools go from the most gross to the most subtle. And the most gross one is the one that we can still be tricked by, and the most subtle one is the most foolproof way to check. But first, like I say always, that if your intention truly is to follow God's will, then even if you get tricked by the mind, then God will turn that into Grace. So we don't have to worry about that. If your intention truly is to live in His light, to follow His will, then even if the mind pulls a great trick and you fall for that, it'll be taken care of because it is your intention to follow the heart which is most important. Okay?

Having said that, the first test is that when you're being guided by your heart, you may sense the presence of an unconditional love. You may sense that there's a natural loving guidance which is being received. So you have to sense the presence of this unconditional love. Although the mind will also try to act as if it is being very loving. It may even say, 'Oh my dear child, this is what you have to do,' you know? But your nose will become sensitive to its tricks, you see? You can smell that it's trying to push, actually. It's trying to rush you into it. So pushing, rushing, grasping—all is its smell, its stink, you see? The more you contemplate this, you will start to notice it more clearly, that the mind is always trying to hurry you into it. It's trying to hide its authoritativeness. You see, like you see some people, they're trying to be very bossy, but they're trying to put it in words which are very sweet-sounding and all. So the mind tries to do that, okay? As opposed to the heart, where you sense it's just like a comfortable holy love. In His presence, you just feel like—if you go to Vrindavan, for example, you go to any of these holy places, you get a sense of there's a holiness about it, like a loving presence where you feel at home, you feel comfortable. So it's like that. That's the first method to check.

The second method is whether the presence of the Satguru within, the presence of the Holy Spirit within, is apparent to you. And if it is apparent to you, that means you're being intuitive and the guidance is coming from there. So it literally feels as if the guidance is coming from a different source, completely different from the mental level. Because the presence is apparent to you and it's the presence which is speaking or it is guiding you. So it has a different texture, a different light to it.

And the highest and the subtlest tool is to check whether the reality of yourself, which is completely non-phenomenal, completely Nirguna, is apparent and the self-knowledge is present as you're being guided in that way. Now, the human condition is very limited; it cannot be intuitive and mental at the same time, you see? So if the reality, the Absolute reality, is apparent to you and the guidance is still flowing through, then you can trust that you're being intuitive and not mental. You can trust that to be heart guidance. So you can start with whichever one seems most comfortable to you, whichever one you seem to resonate with the most. Even if you start with just, 'Am I truly feeling the presence of unconditional love as this guidance is being received?' even that is a good enough place to start. And as you deepen in your Atma Gyan, as you deepen in your prayer and your chanting and you keep deepening in your love for all, this will become more and more natural to you. You start living from your heart and your life will be so heartfelt, and then the voice of the mind will seem alien, seem very natural to live like that. So keep going like this, keep deepening your devotion and love.

Unconditional love, as this guidance is being received, even that is a good enough place to start. And as you deepen in your ads, as you deepen in your prayer and your chanting, and you keep deepening in your love for all, this will become more and more natural to you. You start living from your heart and your life will be so heartfelt, and then the voice of the mind will seem alien, seem like it—it will seem very natural to live like that. So keep going like this. Keep deepening your devotion and love to God. All this is taken care of. Is there a question? Bless you. Sorry, Father, look, your eyes were looking like there's a question. Two also coming after this? No, not yet. All my love, all my blessings. Thank you, Father. Love you. Love you too. Let's go to Helena.

Hello. Hello, my—I just wanted to reach out to you. I felt like I had to today. I spent some days in a convent with a Zen retreat, I see, and I used very much Mooji's last exercise to stay full on the being and on the awareness. It was very, very—felt very good to do. But when I came home yesterday, I had quite a shock of the identification with the mind again. It really shocked me. So I just felt I needed to reach out for you today because I want to keep on—yeah, I don't want to get off track. It felt like, yeah.

So what's good is that you were able to see the contrast and it hit you immediately. You noticed the distinction between living empty, living in pure perception, versus getting caught up in the mind again. And of course, the mind waits for opportunities like that. You just finished the retreat and you came back home and the mind wanted to express its superiority and say, 'I'm still here' and, you know, get you, grab you as soon as you were out of the retreat sort of situation. But the good thing is that it is apparent that you're not fully—you did not get fully caught in the mind because if you were fully caught in the mind, then you would be busy today saying, 'I have so much to do, I have these things to manage.' All this is there, you see. So you're not caught up to that extent. So you still managed to come to satsang, you managed to recognize that it is trying to trick you back into its old ways, you see.

So I'm very happy that you noticed that. Now what you have to do is just continue moment to moment and thought by thought, moment to moment. Forget about what happened yesterday, what happened earlier in the day. Just now, start fresh. And I hope this pointing is in continuation with your Zen retreat anyway. So just allow it to be like that. Don't think more about any more about the thoughts which tried to grab you yesterday. Don't think more about the mind also. Just—that is the two-punch of the mind. I don't know if you've heard me talk about that. So first it tempts you, then it knocks you out with the guilt and unworthiness. It'll say, 'Your retreat is wasted and it's not really working,' you see. It will try to tempt you with that kind of thing, and that has a much longer shelf life, much longer residue when these kind of things get our belief.

So nothing is lost. It looks like—I can tell that you had a good retreat. Nothing is lost. Just return fresh now. Return to the pure perception, return to the emptiness, empty watching that you were doing. And don't worry if it tempts you once in a while. Just leave it behind. Start fresh again. Start fresh again. There is nobody who doesn't get caught up at least in something, so you don't have to worry about perfection. Don't have to worry about 100% this. What is important is now. Now. Now. Thank you. Welcome. Bless you.

Oh my God, thank you. Okay, last one. We go to Sepi. Namaste. Namaste. I just wanted to come up on the hot seat, yeah. And I may forget sometimes, but if I can speak from the heart, yes. Now, just by meeting my Guruji and you and so many beautiful enlightened beings, just to hear their words in this lifetime, my life is fulfilled. If I may die today, my life is fulfilled because of this. God blessed me. And I just want to say also that I so much love my sangha, I so much respect their path, so much respect they're looking inside at themselves. So less people are doing this, so little of us, few of us are doing this. I just want to express my love for my sangha and for my Master.

For just even if I make so many mistakes every time, time and time again, Ananta Ji, I just—I will never give up on God. I will never give up on this. And I used to think that it will be a something happening and enlightenment will come, but I am seeing that it's a moment to moment and every second of looking and remembering God and staying with this and making mistakes and get up again and again and again, yeah. And it's none of my business what happens with that or where it is going. It's just I have to stay with this all my life. As long as I breathe, I have to stay with this. And I just want to thank you. Thank you. I don't know how to say it, how much I love you. Thank you.

You're very welcome and I'm deeply touched by your report. And yes, this is very beautiful that I leave my life, I hand over my life to Him. It is His business. Even my freedom is His business. My job is just moment to moment to be with Him, to live in His life, to follow His will. That is my job. And I recognize that I fail from time to time, but I try again to get up and to try again to be with Him. And I'm willing to do that till my last breath because He is the only one that is worth living for. So I'm deeply touched to hear you and bless you, bless you so much. May this be so. May all that is the highest be yours. God bless you so much. Thank you so much.

You see, when with integrity we can commit like that without an expectation of finality or something special happening, that is very touching to me. And with that kind of servitude, with that kind of love for God, insight is bound to come. It is bound. The reality of God's light and the Absolute cannot be hidden from one who dedicates to be in service their entire life. It is my blessing that if it is His grace, may it be so. Bless you. All right, thank you all so much for being in satsang today. Satguru Sri Mooji Baba Ki Jai. Gurudeva.