Be Present with God's Presence - 5th June 2024

Can I, can I give you an example? Um, a while ago I bought a gift to take overseas with me, but then I wasn't able to travel. So I want to post the gift to my family; they requested it. Yeah. And, um, if I put the right value, the correct value of the gift, then they may have to pay a lot of, um, money at the other end. And even, even if I offer to pay for it, yes, they will be outraged that I'm so stupid, that I don't know how to play by the, by human rules, and that I'm very naive, and why do I have to make problems?

Yeah, why? Yeah, I understand. It's almost like, um, strangely actually, um, my father used to tell me that I'm extra ethical. You know, that there's ethical and then there's me, which is extra, extra ethical. So that we don't have to be too much also. And I didn't agree with him, of course, at that point. But, um, what to do in these situations? They seem so tricky. So one time what happened is—it's reminding me of this story, I hope you won't mind this digression—but so what happened one time is that some of my colleagues at work, we were running this health center for children in the urban slums. So over there we decided that we should really do something about corruption and we should agree that we will never bribe anyone, pay any money to anyone. So we said, 'Okay, we'll even wear like wristbands saying no corruption.' We'll do all of that. So what happened is that this colleague of mine who used to work with me—so there were four or five of us who said, 'Yes, we promise never to pay'—so with this one, what had happened is that her scooter, her scooter bike—in India we have these like mini motorbikes like Vespa, I don't know if you know them—so when she was in college her bike got stolen. And then she went to America for further studies, but that court case... so the police surprisingly got the one, the thief, and they got the bike returned to her, which is a rarity itself. So by God's grace that happened. So the thief was in prison, and by the time she came back and she was working with us, there was a court case going on against the thief who was in prison. And what happened is that his lawyer demanded to see the bike as evidence. Now, when this child had gone to America to study, her family sold the bike. They just disposed of it, just sold it all. So then the one who was supposed to be fighting the case on her behalf, the public prosecutor, said that, 'Oh, you've disposed of evidence. That is unlawful and you better give me some money. Otherwise, this is going to become big trouble,' you see. And so it was so strange that the prosecutor, the lawyer on her side, which is supposed to be fighting the case for her, is demanding a bribe from her to not get his own client into trouble because of this, of this bike issue. In that moment, we paid the money. We paid him some—in those days we paid him some 1,000, 2,000 rupees—and then we were just looking at each other saying, 'What happened to our resolution? What happened to our intention to not ever pay?' Life sometimes gives us these very, very difficult situations, you see. So, but now what I would do—now this was of course many, many, many years ago—what I would like to do now is just be good in my heart, to be true in my heart, that I'm good with my Father and I'm not doing anything which is displeasing to Him. And we must be careful not to make that as an excuse and say, 'Oh, this is how it is inside, that's why,' you see. Like that, we must never make up things about what is happening inside of us because I feel like that is to put on God that which is not how it played out, and that can never be good for ourselves and others that are involved, is it? So you have to check in with your heart and allow that to guide you without rushing to conclusions, without saying that, without just mentally saying that this is what God wants and I'm following His will. That's why I'm emphasizing on this inner climate, because that's what happens with children also, that their inner climate changes when they've done something wrong; they realize it inwardly, you see. So pay attention to your inner climate and see what is going on over there and allow that to play out. And this will change. Like, there's no—I can't give you a solution that will apply to everyone saying, 'Next time you send an inter-country, you know, courier, then you can lie or you can say that the value is lower than it actually is' and things, you see. Because that may not be always appropriate, and there may be times where you're faced with something so obnoxiously silly that everybody, including the authorities, expect you to, you know, just lie about it or something. So what is the way to do that? So neither the categorical imperative nor the idea, the universal benefit principle—you just God's will truly with integrity. In the world it can seem very convenient to say, 'Oh, but it is God's will. God wants me to do this,' but never use that which seems like a short-term fix because it's big trouble in the long term. So truly, and if the answer is not clear, just wait. Just wait. Never rush into it and allow, allow His will to unfold. Very... you can try this. And sometimes you may end up doing something which will seem very silly to the world, but we have to get used to looking silly to the world. That's when in there we have a big contrast between the way of Ram and the way of Krishna. And as a child, I said that I would never follow Krishna because he just broke all the rules, he didn't play by the rules, and you know, I can't follow someone like that, I have to follow Ram. But the Dharma itself becomes what Krishna wants from you, and that is also the message of the Gita. So first to meet God's presence within our heart and then allow that to unfold truly is our, is our true Dharma, is our true job, is our true way of life. So then the personal intervention goes away, or whatever is left to the person is just a humble servant of God. And the only way in which the person is not causing more trouble in the world is in servitude to God. Yeah, yes. Compass, internal compass—that we've been talking about that. And you'll notice that the mind rushes you to not look at that, pushes you to not look at that and to rush into solutions, either because they seem mentally correct or because that's what the world wants of you, or even if you want to be rebellious, you see, and you have a mental position about being rebellious or something like that. But none of those apply. And that's why this—the beautiful story is of Abraham, of Arjuna, of... there are so many stories in all cultures where we come to this point of surrender to His will. Because in some cases morality, ethics, all of that seems to be contrary to God's will. In some cases the law may, may seem to be contrary to God's will—I mean the human law may be contrary to God's will. So faith means to trust that higher than everything else. And your inner fragrance, your inner temple atmosphere will always keep giving you a sense of this, of what God wants, of what is His will. So what is Maya's job? Maya's job is to convince you that we don't have to look there. See, you don't have to look inside. It is apparently, it is so clearly right in the world or so clearly wrong in the world, so don't turn over there, you see. And the other way that Maya works, especially in spirituality—like when I started spirituality with the, with the first satsang that I was in, people used this as an excuse to get anything done. So anybody would say, anybody would say—and thankfully I have not experienced that for so long—but when I first started my spirituality, I was in a very large satsang. So we would have these seva projects and so many things. So everybody would say, 'But Guruji has told me, but Guruji has told me. Guruji said to tell this one to get this done,' you see. And that kind of lie we should never make, especially to say the Guru has told you or God has told you. But of course that was in naivety, that everyone would say that because just because a non-hierarchical system is very difficult to get things done in, so everybody would use that excuse to say that, 'Guruji said just do this.' So there were times that people with contradictory sort of directions would both say, 'Oh, Guruji has told you to do this,' you know. So I said, 'Okay, really? Both?' So we must not use that in any, in any way whatsoever. Because the sanctity of your heart temple is built brick by brick like this. Brick by brick you build your inner sanctity so that God's presence becomes more and more present there, His light is more and more shining there. So whatever we are confused about, whatever we are worried about, we can take it to our heart, we can offer it in our heart temple in His presence. That's why I feel it's such a beautiful contemplation that came to me. I was listening to something on YouTube and I probably heard it over there, someone said, 'What is better? Is it better to for me to talk to you about God or talk to God about you?' And I'm realizing more and more that talking to each other about God is mostly futile, but talking to God or praying to God for ourselves and for all of us is much more helpful. Because when we talk to ourselves, ourselves mostly we are involved in the realm of reason, but it takes faith to commune with God and to trust God to provide the solution for... is it a bit warm? Was it... is it cold? Actually, Pragna took some good notes on this, the heart temple, and we talked about it last time. Was it the last satsang or satsang before that? Last satsang. So how to, how to approach our life, what must become our way of life. And if we keep our, the centrality of our life about the, the holiness...

Ourselves, mostly we are involved in the realm of reason, but it takes faith to commune with God and to trust God to provide the solution. Is it a bit warm? Was it... is it cold? Actually, Prerna took some good notes on this, the heart temple. We talked about it last time. Was it the last satsang or the satsang before that?

Last satsang. Last.

So, how to approach our life? What must become our way of life? If we keep the centrality of our life about the holiness, His holy presence in our heart, how life can be much simpler than our mind makes it out to be. Are you all getting a sense of this? Like when I say this inner fragrance, this inner... but for that, you need to detach from the outer.

Other, this feeling of maybe whatever, which is not right. Like as a person, whatever you feel, that becomes predominant in certain situations and you just feel something is not okay because something is from inside pushing to do that and something is not letting it happen also.

Yeah. Yes, so there's... this is beyond feeling. Like what you are just saying, feeling, but like you get a sense, yeah, of disconnection. Disconnection or a sense of being lit up. But this light is also not perceivable, or it's just very primordially perceivable. So follow that innermost sense.

Can I see? Because feelings can be very up and down. Not feeling, but I am not just terming them as a feeling. Like there's a sense of control, that's what I see. Very subtle, subtle things. Like talking to Marisha or saying something and it is exposing in itself in the situation. Or maybe other is not feeling, but something here, it is getting exposed that... and it's seen. And know it's not happening, but it is to let go. It is the calling it to... this is not okay. Something is not okay about it or anything like that. Sometime something comes up. Sometime something comes up.

Tell me about your like a usual day. Not just that day, usual day.

I just open my eyes and I listen to satsang first. Either Guruji or whatever, something. And sometimes I again sleep while listening and I wake up and again I listen. Then we just get up and have normal water and listen to some bhajans. Then as usual, after ensuring that God's presence is palpable... I mean, I get that, I get that reminder. Father said don't even get up from the bed if you are getting up from the mind. Or sometimes it happens and the day is like boomed.

And of course, it's not fully literal. You can... yeah, but it's like at least you can... it's not that literal a pointing. But basically, don't engage with the world till you come to God's.

And it feels it's like you're off. I'm off. Then it's... I feel I'm off track kind of thing completely.

Okay. Then so then you came to God's presence and you started. Then?

Then some engagement happens and I forget.

Yeah, but what is your intention throughout?

To come back. To come back. To come back to presence.

Organically or no?

To... it's just a feel. Like if it has gone too heavy and suddenly you realize that I've engaged too much or I've invested, I've gone like I have lost myself in the...

But what is the tool you're trying to use to remain in God's presence?

I mean, I just become aware suddenly there something comes up. Like there's some heaviness, there some something happens.

So what I'm hearing is that you're waiting for a symptom of being caught up in Maya and then when you return...

Generally it happens, Father. Most of the time it happens. But it's now conscious. It's like if I have to engage also, I said, 'Okay, I can't do it right now.' I said, do a prayer in that moment only. There's some internal... I don't know how to... you getting pressurized to give the right answers?

No, it's not a right answer. This is how it is. It goes like that. Father be that. Our job as servants of God, as children of God, is to remain His light unceasingly. Keep the focus on Him. Nirantar, unceasingly. So you may remain in inquiry, open and empty all the time. You may pray all the time. But the point is that we may do a japa or you may ask yourself 'Who am I?' Whatever the tools you have heard in satsang, that must become your constant companion. And we must not get to the point itself where, I mean ideally of course all of us will, where we are already caught up and our buttons are pushed and everything has happened and then we want to return. So we must remain as much as possible in God's love, right? As you start your day, your intention must be that this entire day is for God. This entire life is for God. And this unit of this life, which is this day, is offered to God, belongs to Him, may be in service to Him. And allow everything to unfold by yourself being present to His presence, because He's right there, see? So don't wait to get caught up and then for some nudging to come, for some slap to come to return. You have to stay like that. And whether you're using the inquiry or whether you are using remaining empty or whether you're using the japa, use it so that it becomes Nirantar. God's focus, the focus on God has to become unceasing.

Sometimes there is a strong resistance, Father, for that also.

Well, there moments... doesn't matter. So, you... we've had these conversations many times where you know in your heart that you want to follow what you're hearing in satsang. You also know that in response to what you're hearing in satsang, what is the mind going to do? Going to resist. Resist, see? So then we must let go of the temptation to check on, 'Okay, now as I'm hearing this, what is the mind doing?' The checking of like, 'Okay, now so there's a strong resistance.' And you know, we've been looking at this all of us together and say when we say that, 'No, I just want to expose that there's a strong resistance, I just want to expose,' you see, it is mostly because some propensity for belief into that is there. Yes, you see? So just don't get involved. Whatever the mind may be saying, let it. So my, in fact, the only guidance to all of you is to remain in God's light. Otherwise life is wasted. The moment where God is not the intention, God is not the focus, God is not the insight, God is not being loved, that moment is wasted. It's a dead moment. So don't have a life where it's mostly dead, dead, dead, and then moments of life. Have mostly light, light, light, moments of this Maya and death. So try out with the tools. So that which seems most natural to you for you to be anchored in this. For everyone, we must surrender our life completely to God and moment to moment we must let go of the false. Because the mind, the Maya, has a trick. Every moment the mind will scare you, of course, and say, 'How will this happen? It's too difficult. How will I manage at work? How will I...' See, it will all happen. You start climbing the staircase, the end will come. See, but if you just keep waiting...

That's how the decision was made, Father. Because I mean, after I spoke to you, still when I went back, it's like, 'Oh, this doesn't seem practical. How this will happen?' Then it's like all that spiral down and I said, 'Okay, I remember you saying how much time do you have?' Oh, now I have my almost this 47 years, 48 years gone. How much time I have? Exactly. And this will continue this only for another 20 years. Nothing great will happen. Exactly.

So how are you... said okay, to remind ourselves that we don't have time, it's very helpful. And also that if you're in like a place where you can be in satsang more often, that is when you will be able to devote your life to God. Otherwise we spend most of our life... yeah, the engagement outside is too, too strong and you just slip and you don't even... I don't even realize that. Then again it becomes like, 'Come back.'

Yeah, has to be other way around. We'll talk more about this. Maybe also that I'm not getting a good sense of what... what is the mechanism you're hoping to use to remain with Him throughout the day?

I pray constantly. Like I constantly say, most of the time I would just... the sense, I don't know how to do this. This is too strong a Maya. I'm getting caught in this. I don't know how to... you take over.

This would happen how many times a day?

Couple of times a day. Couple.

So we'll... we'll talk more and see how you can be anchored in His light throughout. So for me, it's sounding more and more like curative medicine right now, which means that once the infection is there, then what do I do to cure? So we'll give you some preventative medicine. I feel like that is better because we must go beyond the curative technique. Because the curative technique is just like a self-help process. It's not really a process of surrendering this life to God, of belonging to God.

Sometimes I feel I'm not even... I mean, nothing will happen. I this out.

Yeah, that's why I've been so strong with to find more space for satsang in your life. Feel strong in... and that scares me then. It scares the mind. The mind doesn't want you to commit to a life of God. Yeah. So when... what would be a good start date to commit to a life of God? What would be a good start date? I would say a good start date would have been at our birth, but since that is not possible, no, it's already... you see, today is not too late, but tomorrow will be. Must, must imbibe this more deeply. To remain with Him, to remain in His light will also pave the way for how life outwardly will unfold. In that, we keep waiting for the outer to fix itself so that we can focus on the inner, but the outer will never fix itself in that way. Only when you're with the inner can the outer be healed, be fixed. So we have to live our life in God's presence, not just thinking that we are living a spiritual life. This is the main thing I want to talk to all of you about. So sometimes what... what may happen is that we report that which happens at the like the... at the level of very deep hypnosis. At... let's... there are no levels like that, but suppose. So says, 'But then I realize at that point that I'm truly stuck,' you know, or something like that. So then as I hear the report, I get a sense that this is like already into level three, level four of the hypnosis. Because first the tempest will come. Tempest being Maya. It will put something in front of you, it will give you some thoughts, it'll start to tempt you in like that. See, if you just remain with God, that's your only protection. To remain in His presence, then it doesn't seem that tempting. See, so it could be some temptation of relationship, could be a temptation of some pleasure, could be the temptation of some fun, it could be the temptation of whatever. And it offers you that and then... or the temptation to be right, you see? Temptation to make a point or temptation to be seen. Temptation... there's so many temptations that we experience every day. So now if you get used to living in the temple, you see, your heart temple, then most of these will get lighter and lighter. We'll not have that much of a pull. Now if you get involved in that, then the mind says, 'Okay, 2 + 2 = 4.' Then you get involved with the four. Then it says, 'Okay, now better do this, now you better do that.' And then like after a long time, then you realize that you are actually getting trapped and more and more stuck, you see? So if your reports will have that kind of sense, that kind of gives me a sense that are we living with the intention to focus completely on God moment to moment? And is that intention being followed up by application of a tool which you learn in satsang? And how are you doing in the application of that tool to remain in God's presence, you see? So that you can deepen every moment of your life to build the... build your spiritual life, build your true spiritual wealth. That should be the attempt. So I'm happy also to hear if your report is that, 'I'm trying to do the prayer, I'm trying to do the inquiry, I'm doing this inquiry, I'm trying to just remain in the presence,' whatever we are using, 'but this is what the mind is trying to pull me into.' Okay, so then we will look at those specific cases. But I feel like sometimes you children are already going too far into the mind and then beating a retreat from that deeply embedded sort of... from those deeply rooted hypnosis rather than...

I'm happy also to hear if your report is that I'm trying to do the prayer, I'm trying to do the beads, or I'm doing this inquiry, I'm trying to just remain in the presence—whatever we are using—but this is what the mind is trying to pull me into. Okay, so then we will look at those specific cases. But I feel like sometimes you children are already going too far into the mind and then beating a retreat from that deeply embedded sort of, from those deeply rooted hypnosis, rather than finding yourself in God's presence in your heart altar no matter what is going on on the outside. And whether that translates into being with the sense of I-amness, whether it is to remain as awareness itself, not identify with anything, whether you call it open and empty, whether you call it being with the sense I am, it doesn't matter as long as the focus, intention and focus both, are on God, you're fine.

Now you sit over there inward facing, antarmukhi. So you sit over there inward facing, let the world play go on, you don't get shaken from there. That is the intention. All of us will get shaken and that's why we have satsang, but that is the project. Now what is my job? My job is to give you something which will say, 'No, no, for this I have to be involved, I have to get into this thing, I have to,' you see, take it personally. All of that. The instant you've taken it personally, you see, you've left that holy place in your heart because you can't take anything personally and remain there. You see, the only thing personally is: how am I serving God? If at all we can call that personally. Or how am I loving God?

So can we try like right now in satsang? Your eyes can be open because you get in trouble mostly in the world when you're engaging with eyes open. But with your inner eyes, be with God. Antarmukhi, be inward facing, independent of what's happening in front of your eyes. Yes? Okay, shall we just try this two minutes? And then so just let's try. Pure perception can happen to be inner facing. It doesn't necessarily mean attention as we use in the intention to be inward facing. Sometimes you'll find that attention gets withdrawn from the world and you become inward facing like that with attention also, but that is not a requirement. Straightforward, God is with you or no? Yes, everybody? Being, you had a thing about this? Your report was about this? Was it going to be a follow-on related to this?

No, just on what you said. I think the way I feel is that if I'm not doing anything, it's fine. If I then have to, you know, do some work or socially engage or whatever, then the intensity of the feeling of being centered inwards is so strong. There's so many, you know, in the being, there's just so many sensations dissolving all kinds of, you know, trying to feel it. It's just, it's not a passive experience. Intense feelings that I'm not able to... it's a solitude activity, you know? I can default to it, but if I have to, yeah, do some work or talk on the phone or you know, I can't sustain both simultaneously. I can sustain a feeling of it, but not the full experience where, you know, it's like even your body, the sensations start to melt and all this stuff is going on, which I try not to dwell on it because you know, but it's there's a lot of intense... you know, sometimes you feel like your head is going to get blown off by the intensity of the burning inside and all this stuff.

So but more important is when there is engagement outside. What... you can keep the mic for a moment. So when there is engagement happening on the outside and all this beauty doesn't seem to be apparent, then what is the tool you're trying to use to remain in the truth or remain in God's presence?

So in my case, it's basically the open and empty process. Yeah, so which is... yes. So I'm reminding myself of the pointer every couple of minutes. So it's like basically presence, and then ask myself, 'Who's witnessing?' Exactly. And then also ask myself that the body is... I know the body is sort of coming and going, and then the presence is more stable, and the witness is even more stable. So I try to ask and I keep asking myself sort of, 'Where am I? Where could I be to be witnessing?'

Once you ask, the asking is beautiful. So if you ask yourself 'Who am I?' then it's very difficult to take anything personally or to get involved or identify with the world. So then how long does the effect of that last?

Usually, like, it's difficult to predict. It sustains until I believe some thought and get into...

Yes, but how long in your life experience? How long? Because what I'm going to suggest is that get a sense of that time and remind yourself to ask yourself who you are every four minutes, five minutes, two minutes, whatever it takes, so that you don't get into that mode at all where then your life becomes like the sharing of satsang. Where in the sharing of satsang, the one who is sharing is inward facing, but it seems to be that they are engaging in outer activity, you see? So your entire life will become a satsang then.

So then the same theme in a way: that don't wait for things to get in trouble before you return to your inquiry, before you return to your open and empty or your prayer, whatever you're using. And just you may forget, you may say, 'I'll remind myself every five minutes,' but it may be a full hour went off and something was going on, you see? But then you still remind yourself. At least the intention is there to return, and clearly, and then it'll deepen more and more. Then you will find that you don't leave this place unless something very strong seems to be happening in the world to get you to leave, you see? So to be present to God's presence then becomes more and more natural to us. And the more you immerse yourself in this, the more natural it will seem, more natural it will seem.

So that's been happening naturally and it's just there's this feeling of gratitude for this Grace because earlier on I've tried doing it, it's been very hard, but now it's happening. So there's this just humble gratitude that thank you, that Grace is happening. And there's this almost thing that it may go anytime, so let me just be calm about it. But that being said, like what I wanted to ask is in pure perception, like you've said and you experienced, A: there is no problem, B: even if Maya is trying, as an ability to stay at B. But what happens when I see something that I'm calling beautiful? And it may be very subjective. Let's take a simple thing like a shoe. I see this pair of shoes and it's like, 'It's beautiful.' And that's it. There may not be a desire to own it or want it or ruminate about it. Yes, or I might look at the mountain range and it's like, 'This is beautiful.' So that Nama Rupa does happen and it happens all the time. Like I can't, or I should say have not tried even to stay so much in pure perception that that wonderment also gets dropped.

But that's a dangerous place for me and that's why my question is coming. I meet a woman and she's inspiring, has great attitudes, beautiful, everything that I might look for in a partner. And it's been three years now and there is a lot of internal stability to not get derailed, but it happens in that moment. I recognize it, come back into presence, and life goes on beautifully. So far it's not been a problem, but I can't guarantee that it won't. And what I mean by that is: am I now engineering myself in some way to be so much in God's presence that... okay, maybe a different way to ask the question is: is any situation where I feel attraction for a woman destined for Maya to basically take over me and the whole drama begins again? And maybe it's not an easy question to answer, but that crosses my mind, is where the question is coming from.

Yes, so I feel I've got this question a bit in the last couple of weeks, so don't worry that you're in a lot of company asking this question. So the question, let's try to simplify it first. The question really is: are all romantic relationships or even physical relationships opposed to God's Will? And are they all to be considered as temptations from Maya and therefore inauspicious and to be let go? That is the question.

So no, I feel like to follow this approach, which is to really check for what is God's Will. And the way to check is that when you're truly empty and you're in His presence and you're allowing Him to move you, or that He guides you inwards, or that you can sense your inner climate to be with the perfume of God's love and the fragrance of God's love and presence as you, as this unfolds. Now all of this we have to be very careful about because the mind will quickly claim all of these or any one of this, that 'It was God's will, I was empty only, you see, and I said you want to go out for a coffee,' you know, like that. So we have to really be... because it is not about convincing anyone else, it's about your own spiritual health, you see, to allow God's will to unfold whatever relationships have to unfold in our life.

And it is not automatic that you just presume that it is going to be Maya, it is going to be bad. Having said that, most of the reports that I get in specific situations are very clearly temptations of Maya. Very clearly temptation of Maya where the mind is rushing, we want to do something about it, we're getting into this feverish sort of environment within. And that feverish sort of environment within itself tells you that it is not coming from God or we are not even waiting to find out whether it is. Because these things when they come, they can seem full on. So that's why that patience, that ability to just be still in spite of all of this, can be very helpful. So no, holy relationships can be created in this way; auspiciousness can flow in this way as well.

One guidance that's been coming, Father, and it's all due to your grace and the Sangha's grace is, I think I shared with you about maybe a year, year and a half ago, at that time my biggest struggle was being alone because I've never had that life. And the guidance that has been coming is first I need to stabilize in that aloneness as a positive word, not as a negative word. And until that happens, I can taste it, I can taste it—any kind of attraction that happens is laced with the desire to fill that loneliness through another person. So that's one strong guidance that has come, and thank you for that.

The other thing, and I've seen my father and mother, very loving relationship, and I've seen it from very close quarters. It was a very open family, it's not like they didn't have fights and all that, but the level of love was amazing. And then after my mother passed away two years ago, I thought my dad will fall apart. In a sense he's, I would say, a typical Indian male dependent on the woman for everything, and my mother was the dynamo of the house and so on and so forth. But he hasn't fallen apart. And so I actually kind of interviewed him two, three weeks ago, like, 'How's it going and how are you dealing with it?' And so he still is in love with her and like when he has tea two times a day, he puts one cup for her and one cup for him, and he's not miserable at all in missing her. It's like a positive missing.

Yes, and then he said, 'Beta, I've changed my relationship with your mother to a spiritual relationship long time ago. And you see all these books that I read, I'm reading all the books that she used to read and I like to read those paragraphs that she has underlined.' Oh, sweet. You know? So they're all of these books that we talk about. And so I see this like beautiful balance between being his spiritual partner, lover, how she's no more also and still nice. So it's really, really inspiring to see that. In this lifetime whether I'll get it or not doesn't matter really, but yeah, that's beautiful.

A long time ago and, you see, all these books that I read, I'm reading all the books that she used to read and I like to read those paragraphs that she has underlined. Oh, sweet, you know? So they're all of these books that we talk about and so I see this like beautiful balance between being his spiritual partner, lover, how she's no more also and still nice. So it's really, really inspiring to see that in this lifetime, whether I'll get it or not doesn't matter really. But yeah, that's beautiful. That's very beautiful, Father. I just thank you very much for your grace. So much love, so much love. And used it time and time again and just conjuring up your image and allowing that to help me stay with the presence. I do feel like I get distracted and seek the company of others, friends, when I could be sitting with God, in God. And I want to send that up to you. I also want to tell you how I try to be with God. Yeah, and I feel I am doing things to be with God. I am praying, I am meditating. There's too much doership. The effort is in a way that is similar to Shanti's question as well. So, go on, go on.

So, in my love with God, Guru, teacher, saints, I will read. I will read as much as I can of anything to do with Lord, God, Guru, teacher, saint. Any meditation, any wording, any YouTube thing, I will try to stay with God throughout the day in these ways. Yeah, what's on, gem? I don't know if it's I'm the doer and I'm doing it because I'm doing it because I love God. I'm doing it because I love you. I'm doing it because I love the Gurus, teachers, and saints, and that's where I want to be. But I don't know whether it's because I'm a doer or this doership, or simply because I'm a love. That is what I would like you to please guide me on. I maybe is being arrogant or delusional, I don't know. Thank you.

It's a good question. So on this spiritual project, we can do so many different things. I'm reading, I'm praying, I'm listening to bhajan, I'm doing this practice, I'm doing the inquiry, I'm staying with his presence, I'm remaining open and empty and all of this. But what is important is not the activity or the doing in itself, but what is it that it ignites in our heart? What is it that it ignites in our heart? So sometimes it can happen like this, like I love reading, you notice that. So I love reading and like I'm enjoying reading like simpler things now rather than big philosophy and things. But it could become just that I'm doing it because I want to read, you see? So then it can become a convenient sort of spirituality.

And God is very beautiful, merciful, and gracious, of course. So He, even with our slightest turning to Him, He makes himself available. That's so beautiful and so gracious of Him. But that is what we must be a bit careful of: is it becoming just because I want, or is it just the means to the end, which is the igniting of His fire in our heart? So if you, and this must be truly true in the sense that if by reading a page on a book or listening to a bhajan or listening to a satsang or going to a holy place, we find that this happens so clearly in our heart altar—His light, His presence is so palpable, the connection with Him is so deeply felt—then it is spiritual.

But if it is the content of it is spiritual, the content of things seems spiritual, it doesn't necessarily make it spiritual, you see? I could be reading the holiest book in the world but I'm not really fully into it. I'm just like enjoying it like mentally, not really like enjoying the wordplay in the book other than the essence of what is being pointed, or reading it just at an intellectual level and not as a tool to really bring us to His light. Then we have to be careful of that kind of spirituality. It is just like to deepen in understanding or to intellectually know more and to understand more conceptually. But may everything be used to bring us to Spirit. That is spirituality, isn't it?

Spirituality without Spirit is not spirituality. Even if the content is very spiritual, without the holy meeting in our heart, it is not spirituality yet. It can be our attempt at spirituality, you see? So what is our intention? Is our intention to entertain ourselves, to understand, to intellectually progress? What is our intention? Or is our intention like a fish out of water struggling, saying, 'I want you, God. I want you in my heart. Why is it that I don't feel your presence?' You see, this lamentation may seem like it belongs on the cross with Jesus or it belongs in very difficult situations with David when he originally wrote it in the Psalm, but it will start to feel more and more like a moment of disconnection. That a moment of selfishness can lead to a sort of like a blankness or emptiness—not a happy emptiness, not an open and empty emptiness, but a disconnection, a contraction in the heart.

And I find myself sometimes lamenting like this to Him, saying, 'Why have you forsaken me?' You see, I know very well why. I know very well why, and yet sometimes you just have to plead to your Father. You see, to plead to your Father. And I know it's because I have distracted myself, I have made things about me, I have not really turned towards Him. I know all of these things. Sometimes you still feel like going like a tantrum child to the Father: 'Father, why have you forsaken me?' So, and this may not be applicable or suitable for everyone. You just have to follow your heart as to how it goes. I'm just saying that which is applicable to everyone is to feel the sense of connection to God within yourself. Then we are being spiritual. Or if that is not happening, then to say, then to at least have the intention to have that.

Okay, so I can read like a book by Rumi or a book by Kabir or a book by Hafiz or a book by Farid and just marvel at the language, at the poetry. You see, everybody looking at me may say, 'He's being so spiritual, he's reading.' Or I can even read the Ramacharitmanas that way. And to read it that way is better than not reading it at all because that also has some power. But we just have to see, what is it? What is it truly for? Am I wanting to be with Him? Am I wanting to surrender to Him? Am I wanting to offer up every moment of my existence to Him? Or has my mind made a category called spirituality, and when I do anything in that category outwardly, then I don't feel guilty that I'm not with God? And I'm not saying you're doing any of this. This is for everyone, including this one. You getting a sense of what I'm saying?

Like we can do many things. Like, 'I'm going there, I'm going here.' Again, not for you, this happened that you just came back, but I'm just saying that it's very possible to get into this kind of like an outer spirituality. And this kind of spirituality even our mind may like because actually not coming in contact with Spirit, which is what it hates, you see? There's nothing more fearful to the mind than coming in contact with the Spirit. So even in the guise of spiritual experiences, it may be avoiding just meeting the Spirit. So don't avoid that meeting. Use every word to taste His presence. Use every line to let the Atma guide you as to what it is showing you. If you make it an object of your understanding, it'll become like conceptual knowledge again. See what I'm saying?

So if you're reading a book—and we've been reading so many beautiful books lately—they can be read at so many different levels. You can read it and say, 'Ah, very good, very good. It's so nice, so helpful. Now I understand, very good,' you see? But a holy book, especially if it is written by a saint or a sage, every word has been guided by the Holy Spirit and every word can bring you in contact with Him, the Atma, with Him. So use it like that. Allow it to deepen your heart presence, for the glow of His holy light in your heart to deepen, and to remain empty of ourselves. To remain truly open and empty, which is to remain empty of ourselves, is a very, very beautiful way to allow yourself to remain in His light.

So none of it is contradictory, although some questions and things may seem like the mind is presenting a perspective saying, 'But can't I just do this? But can't I just be like that? Or can't I just be like this?' We can be whatever. There's so many tools on offer in satsang and there's so many spiritual paths in the world. You can follow whatever, but it must lead to Spirit, isn't it? It must lead to the deepening of the discipleship of the Atma, the Holy Spirit within, you see? Otherwise we're just wasting time in the guise of spirituality. The question fundamentally is: can God be found within yourself? Can God be found within yourself? And if God can be found within yourself, what other project is worthwhile? Is my understanding worthwhile? Is my enjoying the beauty in words worthwhile? Is my whatever, whatever we may call a spiritual project worthwhile if it is not about finding Him, being with Him?

So what if all of the books that one is reading, or the effort one is making, or the reciting Hanuman Chalisa, whatever one is doing—what if that is just backing up a concept of 'I'm a bhakta'? What if it's just conceptual?

That's exactly what I was pointing to, that this is what we must become vigilant about, you see? Is it about 'I am a bhakta' or is it about God is here? Is it about 'I am something and I am getting better at it or worse at it' or is it about 'I am His, He is here'? Who does your heart belong to truly? Does it belong to the 'me' or to God?

Is the natural joy in the name of God, in the leela of God, in the stories of God—does that mean that can also be service to God?

Yes, of course. Of course. It's very beautiful service to God. Very, very beautiful service to God.

So is that obeying God? Is that obeying His will? I don't know.

Yes, that is what we must find out. That is what you must find out. It's reminding me of a very nice talk I heard by one of the sages, maybe Charles Spurgeon, but he said that there are so many things in the world which can seem to be about God, and because they're about God, it can seem like we are being spiritual, in love with God, because things are about God. But there's a difference between it being about God and really to commit ourselves, to sacrifice ourselves to God. So even our spirituality can become an expression of my will, my way, and then it is not actually spirituality. If it seems too convenient, if it seems risk-free, if it seems only about good feelings, if it's not about confronting, if it doesn't seem like an inner wrestling match at times, then we have to question whether it's a true spirituality. Because then it's become like just feel-good psychotherapy in the name of spirituality, which doesn't mean there's anything wrong with psychotherapy. It's very good. Whoever needs psychotherapy must get it. But why call it spirituality? Spirituality is about God's presence, which is called Spirit. Yeah, we can let's go to...

Hi, Father.

Hello.

I'm sorry I keep coming up like this. I just feel so desperate these days that any moment of straying, I don't want to linger in them. So thank you. When you say, when God says that we have to offer everything, He means literally everything. Yeah. And it's been, it's become apparent that there are some spots that I've protected of identity that I've not included in that everything. And I didn't realize it until recently. And it's not to say that actions won't happen externally, that maybe there will be some sort of advocacy, who knows if that's His will, you know? But it's more about the inner disconnect that can happen in that, and taking that part of my identity to be too real. And I was missing the point with that. The point is to stay with God even within that, and not becoming defensive and protecting this thing, this part of the identity. He says offer everything, and so I see where I was protecting that thing. And it's still my prayer to be cleaned completely within of all these things. It's still my intention and it will always, I'll never stop, or I hope to never stop by His will.

That and taking that part of my identity to be too real, and I was missing the point with that. The point is to stay with God even within that, and not becoming defensive and protecting this thing, this part of the identity. He says offer everything, and so I see where I was protecting that thing. And it's still my prayer to be cleaned completely within of all these things; it's still my intention and it will always—I'll never stop, or I hope to never stop, by His Will and Grace.

Just when we offer everything to Him, it is just a correction of a misunderstanding that we have created for ourselves, isn't it? In the sense that everything already belongs to Him. So we are just correcting the mistaken belief system that we have created that this belongs to me. So our offering it to Him is not actually providing Him anything new; it is just to recognize the mistake that we have been making, that everything in this universe and beyond already is only an appearance in His light and therefore already belongs to Him. So in our playful—and sometimes it can seem not so playful, it can seem very difficult—but it is actually for Him a play in which that which is already His is being offered back to Him. And that is so beautiful, you see.

So most of you heard this prayer, which there's a line in the prayer which goes: Tera tujhko arpan, kya lage mera. Which is a prayer also which is very popular. And what does it mean? It means that which is yours, I am offering it back to you, because nothing actually belongs to me, isn't it? So that, like you said, it becomes—they become blind spots for us where we say that, "No, no, no, this I have to become identified with, this I have to become personal about," because this is such a thing that the mind gives us some offer to tell us, "But this identity we cannot hand over, this we cannot really fully surrender to God." And to see that independent of what it may be about, that is what really to remain in satsang means. Because anytime we are taking the world too seriously or this body-mind identity too really, that is when we are involved in the opposite of satsang, you see, which is—I was saying that the Hindi word for that is kusang. Opposite of satsang, or the company of that which is not worthy for us, which is not worthwhile for us. Bad company. To put it simply: to take the world to be real is bad company, and to remain with God is good company.

So, and no matter what the situation, no matter what the circumstances may be. That's it. That was the key that kind of really hit home when you said, like, you know, the grace of the Guru, and you said turn inward, face inward towards God. Like something so simple like that, and in the immediacy of it. And then these things could be seen. It was a good way to check, like, that I was disconnecting myself from God by taking this thing to be so important to defend. And I was like, okay, maybe that will happen externally, but internally where is God? Like, internally, maybe externally there could be this play of all of this stuff and that's fine, but I wasn't internally facing inward in that moment.

And the beautiful thing to notice in this is that as we turn inward towards Him, see what is the identity of that one who is turning inward? To be present to His presence. To be present to His presence is the same as to turn inwards. So His presence is the I am. There's actually no other "I" over there, and yet it seems like we can turn towards the sense of presence of I am. That identityless one then merges with, more and more comes into union with, that holy presence. Yeah. So it's a beautiful contemplation that if I'm turning towards my own presence, then who is turning? Presence is ever-shining, isn't it? It is. But are we always present to presence? No, we are mostly present to the world, isn't it? So then if presence is that one, then who is going to become present to presence? And yet we can do it.

Yeah. Yeah, so these are very beautiful, amazing, sublime intuitive insights. It's beautiful to ask that contemplation. There's really no answer to it. Can't really find one when you ask.

Exactly, yeah. Sometimes the mind will try to create a visual of—it'll be visualized like a heart altar or temple, then say, "I have turned inward." So it may put a body there, which is all right, it's not the worst thing we can do, but that is not the turning inward that I'm speaking of. It's not a visualization. It is an actual capability of faith to turn ourselves within, you see, and keep ourselves there even though our attention may be so involved with the world. Yeah. The Indian sages would never have said this line, which is "Antarmukhi sada sukhi," which means the one who turns inwards is always content, is always peaceful. Yeah.

The most beautiful reminder is that when you turn inward, like trying to deal with these seeming problems and come to a solution or like just ruminating over it, and then you say turn inward, face God—it's like it's all corrected in that moment. It doesn't need...

Beautiful. Because it's like—how do I put it in words? Don't visualize too strongly because this will also become a visual. But if the snake starts to eat its own tail, you see, then what happens is that it becomes more and more centered in itself. So this process of turning inwards, being present to the presence, is that, you see. It's just the circle keeps getting smaller and smaller. That's as far as words can go to just give us a sense of what is going on. Because many times our Advaita understanding, our Advaita knowledge will say, "But present to presence? You see, presence is the only presence." So then of course our ability to be present to presence is also the same snake, the same tail of the snake, you see. But that—we have not capability, it's just more of a functioning of faith, a functioning of... another way to look at this is to say, okay, suppose that my eyes are closed, my attention is just not focused on anything anywhere in particular, but I say to you, "I'm fully present with you right now." What is that capacity in me to be present with you in that way? That same capacity we make present with God's presence. And it's not that His presence is separate in any way, because that I-am-ness is what it is. But once you—like it's two mirrors facing each other, you see, but actually it's just one mirror that's folded. I don't know how to explain this.

I feel like that snake eating its own tail is a good one. You know, when you first said the snake eating its tail, I actually saw it as also can be a visual for the mind when you get into that and stuck in the trying to fix things and get in that, then you are—you're in the serpent eating its tail.

I hear you, I hear that. And the beauty of this process is that as you're present to presence, as you turn inwards to Him, then that mind also gets eaten up. Everything gets eaten up. Yeah. You don't need to look for solutions outside of God, solutions outside of Atma, outside of Holy Spirit. Yeah. For anything at all.

Yeah. You don't see it until you're in—until you do face inward, that you don't—it's not as easily detected, you know.

Yeah, exactly. That's why it's blind spots. That's why it's blind spots. Are you all getting a sense of what I'm saying? Like to the mind it's unfathomable how to be with God's presence. What does that sentence even mean? Like Maharaj said, we must always remain with the sense I am. With the sense I am is presence, is being present. Then to be with the sense I am means is there another I am which will be with the sense I am? No, it isn't. But can we be with the sense I am? We can. So that is that holy merging which is happening, of Ganga within the Ganga, of the snake eating itself, of the mirror which is one mirror actually just reflecting onto itself. And as it reflects onto itself, it gets more and more detached from the things of Maya, things of the world, and remains in that constant deepening. And then Maya is designed to bring us out of that focus, bring us out of that deepening, because it gets threatened. The mind gets threatened by this deepening.

Father, can I kind of ask something that came up? Like when we go through this cleaning, inner cleaning, it's almost—and correct me if I'm wrong because I probably will be—but like these old tendencies have to come up and actually play out, and for us to get involved a little bit enough to be like, "Oh." It's like part of the cleaning somehow, that because I don't know, I wouldn't have seen it unless it had played out and I had believed it for a minute and gone through that cleaning and choosing Him despite that.

Yeah. So yes, it does happen. A lot of things have to play out in our life in this way where we say, "Oh, I still have this. Oh, I still have this. This temptation still is seeming true to me. This mind offering still seems irresistible to let go of." You see, so many, many things have to come that way. But as we remain in this, there are so many more things which actually just go from us without us even realizing. Yeah. See, so the cleaning is happening both ways. Outwardly things are coming up, and we can't even really say—although it's tempting to say that the biggest things also show up outwardly and see like an outer and inner, you see, both ways it's tempting to say—but there's no way for us to actually say that. Maybe the biggest things He just takes care of for us, and then the smallest things He's like, "Okay, play with this while I'm doing the clean up." Like the mother is giving the baby a bath and she gives them some rattle or something. Real bath is happening, you see. So you don't really know. I feel like the big stuff He just takes care of and the small, small things He says, "Okay, you need something to keep yourself busy with, so I'm going to give you this."

Oh, that's beautiful. Yeah, please Father, just yeah, continue like this cleaning and humbling and humble and humble. And no matter what, even if it's uncomfortable for the false one, like I just don't want it to just stop and get comfortable.

So sometimes it's also good to have this approach with the mind, saying, "I'm going to jaan-boojh-ke this one." But fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. If you have that jaan-boojh-ke... so we can have this approach. That's why I say make it more and more difficult for your mind to trouble you. Once it tells you something, okay, we bought the story, we got caught into it, it seems so real. But then strengthen in your resolve saying, "I've seen this, where it goes. I've seen this merry-go-round. I've ridden this ride. I'm not buying the ticket again. I'm not getting on again." So then you will see that a mind is actually very, very, very primitive, very limited. It'll just offer the same stuff. And have this faith, because I'm telling you, you can do it like this. Just not get on before. Just not get on before as much as you can. But if you get on once, that's fine. You see, the mind came up with a major trick, something really compelling, you see. But once you have spotted it, then make it really difficult to get on the second time, because you know where it's going. You know where it's going. All of us know where it goes. So like that. Okay, so second time, then third, make it impossible. You just don't. Like that, then no. Then you see that the mind runs out of its capabilities. Its capabilities are very, very limited actually. Of course, it can at times seem so subtle, so smart, so intelligent, so tricky. But when faced with a challenge like this—somebody who doesn't fall for the same trick of the mind twice—it has no chance. No chance. How many tricks will it come up with? So if you look back at our lives, we see that we keep falling for the same stuff again and again, and that's why it seems so difficult. But as you stay like that, the mirror facing each other, being present to God's presence, see that the strength will also come from that. Strength will also come from that, because once you get used to just the holy water of His presence...

This somebody who doesn't fall for the same trick of the mind twice, it has no chance. No chance. How many tricks will it come up with? So, if you look back at our lives, we see that we keep falling for the same stuff again and again, and that's why it seems so difficult. But as you stay like that, the mirror facing each other, being present to God's presence, see that the strength will also come from that. Strength will also come from that because once you get used to just the holy water of His presence in your heart, then what is the mind going to offer you? What is it going to say? So, it's a virtuous cycle, a virtuous circle in this way. The deeper your resolve, the easier to be with His presence. The more you be with His presence, the more the strength to deepen your resolve. So, just all of it is like this. Yeah.

I feel more and more too that, um, before in the past I would try to resolve it on my own and then just end up in a pit of resentment. But these days it feels so important to come to you, Father, in this way. And when there's any sign of any of this, like, just to come to you. And because, I don't know, like, I just didn't allow myself to do that before. And I really need your help, you know.

And don't feel that you're coming up too often. I don't sense that you're coming up too often. So, yeah, make use of this time. Yeah, I don't know, because I don't know when it will be over, you know, when it will be the last satsang or something, you know. Thank you very, very much. Okay, quickly let's look at the other two questions and this is time for our reading. Let's go to Divine by Miss.

Thank you. Thank you for like this simplicity that you made, like the simple way of like pointing out. It's like you just capture like everything in just like few words. So, thank you so much. And yesterday was really, it's been a long time I actually felt like this, like inner struggle. Like, it was really strong and it was very like a reminder to not be complacent because it was really like the first time, like maybe for like a year, that I really felt like the sense of disconnection from, yeah, God. And like you were saying, you know, I was like saying like, 'Father, why you forsaken me?' although I knew, I knew. Like, I just wanted to really leave this like tendency of perfection at your feet. I just want to leave this tendency of like this, I don't know, first time I wrote to you I told you about this tendency. It's like somewhere so deep in me this tendency is there. Like, because we currently have exams right now, actually have an exam that is, but there's this thing although like I always feel like the presence of God and in like every aspect of my life blessed me, especially with this recognition and coming to you. Like, every layer of my existence has been blessed by this, you know, by this living reality and this holy water you speak about. He has been blessed by this. But still, like, I still see like yesterday I was very struggling because, yeah, I could see that the old self, because I told you that the year before I didn't go because I was, because I didn't go to like school or anything, I was just at home many times. But I see that there's still this seed, like there's this seed of like maybe like the idea of myself before like being transformed or something. Yeah, like the seed of maybe like perfection, even like academic or something like this, it's still there. And I really, because it's like some, I was holding the name of God in my heart even while I was writing the exam, but there's like something that once, I don't know, like of claiming to know something, all this kind of thing, or like to, I don't know how to explain it. But I just honestly felt in my heart to just come and to leave it at your feet because really, like, I'm listening to you today, I still felt like the light of the spirit very strong again. I'm so grateful for it. Thank you so much.

I pray that any desire to be seen, any desire to be noticed as good or perfect outwardly, may that be transformed into an inner perfection. May that be transformed into a perfect love in your heart, a perfect peace, a perfect joy. And may you follow His will, which is the only perfection, and not the mind's ideas of being right or perfect in any way. All my love, all my blessings. Okay, let's go to Bhumi.

Thank you, Father. Thank you. From the beginning of the satsang it was pretty difficult to concentrate or even to stay in satsang. There was some, something like trying to stop me. But the heart is burning so much, you know, that I just didn't ask for permission, any outer conditioning. Yes, because I'm of God and here's, here's my home, is my safety. And that is always triggered. A few days ago, it will not be long, I don't know how to speak about that, I joined a company of people from the past I used to be very close to. And it felt there like I wasn't vigilant enough. Like Papaji says, just be vigilant till your last breath. Yeah, so I had to experience what this sentence means. And it actually felt like I was acting from the past program under the pressure of the people who surrounded me. Yes, not with bad intention, but I'm totally in a different place. Yes, and the judgment was just so strong. And you know, Father, I just have this, if I may say that, you know, like I feel like, I feel like Jesus when he was attacked by his own priests, when Yogi Ji was in Tiruvannamalai and people were just beating him up. And it had the same, not that I'm comparing this being with them, but the source is the same, you know. And after I left this, it was actually, I was locked in a, on the train with these people and locked in a room, there was no escape, you know. Yes, yes, I ended up, I told them I just replace people with God. And they were asking me questions about Guruji and I was just, it was just coming up like how I cherish this satsang with you and Guruji. And yeah, but what I was trying, what I'm trying to say is there was a huge blessing in all this experience because it took me to a place, it made me look. Like Guruji is saying, use the experience to look. So that's what happened. And it wasn't immediate like this, it took some looking. And it was like what I thought was already clean, it was so deeply embedded. But it was like a gift from God before birth. So this is what brings me also to Him.

And it is very good. We must use it this way. We must use it this way to deepen in our insight, to deepen in it becoming apparent as to what is being hidden inside us. The beautiful thing about this human life is that when these situations come, like at least I cannot say whether I'm truly on Jesus's side or am I on the attacker's side. Which one am I? Can't really see. We always presume, of course, but everyone presumes they are on the right side. Some beautiful thing to consider really. Like Kabir Ji said that I went looking for that, for those who are sinful, evil, bad. I didn't find anyone. He says I didn't find anyone till I looked inside myself and I said that there's not, no one can be worse than this one. How is it that such a great sage is saying that, you see? Because there comes a point in which even the slightest afflictions of our heart become intolerable. They become intolerable to us and they seem like the biggest mistakes, the biggest error. Sometimes I sit and wonder what will make me really humble because, you know, true humility just doesn't come. So I wonder and I was feeling like maybe just some humiliation is to happen every day, you know, something. Because the pretense, the teacher conditioning doesn't drop. The pretense doesn't go. True humility of being completely naked and surrendered to Him is not coming, you see. And that creates a sort of fig leaf between Him and me. So let the attackers come because they can only attack my pride. They cannot attack that which is secret in my heart, that is beyond attacking. Okay, thank you. Thank you.

May I say something more? Yes, when I was looking, it was discovered it was again the pride that was used as a protection in moments of survival. So pride or arrogance. So that was really precious. And also what you've been just saying, then I fell, I finally it looked like a, the biggest humble, biggest prayer that I live. The words, they were just resonating and it was very precious. And I just want to again just leave this everything at your feet. And whatever is there left, not whatever is there left, all this love and calling for God, I leave it at your feet. All of this and all this 'I' that is imagined. Because still I live in God's light, no, still there is only God's light, permanent and fully realized. There is always this movement. So I just, may all this 'I' and everything be just burned in Him. Bless, bless. Thank you.