Attention Always Reports Back to You - 22nd January 2016

When we are talking, we are talking about the other end of attention in the sense of what it is bringing to my awareness now. Just let's demystify this. If the purpose of attention was just to come back into awareness and rest over there, then why would I create attention? Awareness is aware of itself; it knows itself very well. So the purpose of the creation of attention, just like Consciousness, must have been to enjoy the experience of this realm. And without the functioning, natural functioning of attention, I don't know of this realm. Because only that where my attention goes exists for me in my experience. Hypothetically everything can exist, but in direct experience, only that where my attention goes, that side of my attention goes, only that exists. But it is still reporting. So it cannot be about getting a grip on this attention and keeping it with awareness alone; then we would not function in this realm at all, and nobody can actually do it.

Then it must be a question of whether I am believing myself to be an object which my attention is bringing—an object which my attention is bringing to me. The mind is telling me that I am that. That's why I say that if we call anything in the appearance 'me' or 'mine,' that is the root of misery. We cannot be attached to any appearance, including the appearance of 'I am.' Including the appearance of 'I am,' because we all know that at the end of the day, when we've had enough experiencing, even this we don't want; we want sleep. That is why I feel that when we check 'Am I aware now?' it's not that we become aware only upon asking this question. It's just that we keep everything else aside for an instant and we see that awareness is here. And who sees this? Awareness itself. Who else can be a witness to awareness? Who else would be here to know that I am aware? Really ask yourself: who can it be that can be aware of awareness? I say 'I am aware now.' This 'I,' is it separate from awareness itself?

And these are the times where the mind can come up with a lot of distraction. It's almost as if it's waiting, and then when this really the time to check can come, it can come up with some something, something. What is happening when I check on whether I am aware or not? What is happening? We have to use the word 'happening,' you know what I mean? And see if you can separate yourself. Separate yourself into two. Is it possible that there is an 'I' which is separate from the awareness? Is it possible to become dual? This duality, is it possible? Within awareness there are no two. And then check: even after the birth of being, is it separate from me, from 'I'? Or does it only appear to be? All that is appearing to you now, use it and see where it is experienced. Is it outside of you? Is anything outside of you? Even the idea of something outside of me is inside of you. All of this is appearing inside you. Can there be anything outside of me, outside of 'I'? Like this, we see that there are no two. A non-dual. That is why it is said that the separation never happened.

And the pretense of personhood will become more and more incredible to all of you. If it is picked up momentarily, very soon you laugh. And how did I pick up this idea that I could be that which comes and goes? Who is witnessing the coming and going? Is it somebody else? Every one of us have seen that this appearance and everything in this appearance is coming and going. Who tells you this? Does someone else come and tell you, 'Hey, you went away and now you came back'? The objects in front of us, the body, the thoughts—who is aware of this thought coming and going? It cannot be the thought which knows of its own going. There must be something which is steady which watches all of this come and go, isn't it? Your emotion—you say, 'I got angry and I was feeling better the next day.' So anger came and anger left. All emotions like this come and go. What stays? What is that which is steady?

And all of this is the content of the state that right now we are calling the waking state. But who is aware of waking and sleeping? Who is aware that I woke up and I went to sleep? Is that one, the steady one, touched by the content of any of these states? Waking, sleep, dream, Turiya—whatever states you might want to see. So if it is not even touched by the coming and going of these states, how can it ever be touched by something which is happening within the state? If the state itself does not touch the 'I,' then how can the content of some scene touch the 'I'? So if this body is an appearance within this waking state, how will it become me? How can it become 'I'? Many, many, many, many bodies like this have come and gone, all seeming so, so beautiful, so well-designed, so real. But you know what? Even if I was this body, what is there for me to do? Even if I was this body, then as it is said in some of the simplistic translations of the Bhagavad Gita, 'I came empty-handed and I will leave empty-handed.' So even in the realm of phenomenality, there is no trouble. There are just appearances. Nothing is happening to me. There is only this Consciousness which is appearing, and its own light, its own on its own screen, displaying this Consciousness.

So yesterday, I was asking one of the satsang members, 'How do I experience this Consciousness?' Just we were playing yesterday. So, 'How do I experience this Consciousness?' And she said, 'Can you stop being now?' to see that this being is present. 'I am' is here. Existence is our direct experience of being. Let's take another simple example of how it has nothing to do with the body, actually. So suppose just as I was sharing like this, my body went—see, like that, it went like that. Now by looking at the body, can anyone tell whether Consciousness was here or left? But I am aware that although the body went like this, being was still present. And I am aware that on other times when the body goes like that, then even Consciousness could leave, and then I am aware that it comes back, see this.

So if someone comes and says, 'Did you fall asleep?' I say, 'No, no, I was awake.' What is the meaning of that? That I am aware that being was still here. Is it confusing? No matter what the body might be exhibiting, I am aware whether being is here or not. This 'I' that is aware of being, that which is aware of being, this one—can it leave? Can this one leave? Who would know of the coming and going of this one? If this awareness was to leave, who would report on it? And because this is the all-knowing, ever-present one, the unborn, the unchanging, the undying 'I,' this is the extent of what can be spoken from direct experience. The extent of what can be spoken from intuition or direct experience is this. For everything with any quality, any attribute, is phenomenal, appearing within the non-phenomenal Self.

And hearing this is the reversal of the hypnosis of the mind—to check on this, to verify for ourself. And this is what we check over and over because the hypnosis has been there for a long time. Just because we have been hypnotized into believing that we are something can never make it real. We've used many depictions to make light of the pretend person. We've called it the 'checker guy,' we've called it the 'hungry Martian,' we've called it 'Rajan,' you've called it a lawyer, you've called it an insect, you've called it the imagined one. We've said all kinds of things. Why? Is it because we have a sense of disdain about this movement of Consciousness? No, it's truly not that. It is just for you to see the distance between yourself and this. And no matter what you call it, it cannot mind because it doesn't exist. So we must stop pandering to the hurt feelings of the non-existent one.

Therefore, every single time that there is a sense that 'I am suffering from something,' that 'something is happening to me,' the question to be asked is: who am I believing myself to be? Every single time there is a sense that I am suffering from something—you cannot suffer, I cannot suffer in reality. It must be a misidentification. It must be something in the appearance which I am believing myself to be. It must be something in the appearance which I believe that I want or I don't want. But can we check and see? It is just content within the waking state, and the state itself does not touch me. How can any appearance touch awareness? We can say it is within awareness, but can it affect awareness? Therefore, it must be that anytime that I say I'm affected by something, I'm posing as something other than awareness. And this power to pretend, to pose, to believe, we have.