As You Find This Presence, Your Life Must Now Become About That, and Not About You - 16 January 2023

When you're fully... let's expand on your metaphor itself. Like you said, 'and I go from the Darbar empty-handed.' No, when you're fully empty-handed, are you free or are you mad? Let's continue with your metaphor only. So you say, 'I go empty.' I know the way you meant it was different, but let's say, let's use it like this. Yeah, you don't know you're losing at this game of spirituality, you're not finding it. Say it comes and it goes, but it is undeniable for you. Let it come. The reality is not now just a purely conceptual idea, is it? It isn't. So how many in the world can even report this? Take the eight billion out of that. If you were to tell them, 'Have you met God?' they will not say, 'I have met God.' And many times it's here, but sometimes it goes away when I'm troubled in relationship. Most will say no. Most will say, 'I want to meet God, I haven't met. I believe that God is true.' And many will say, 'There is no such thing, it's all nonsense. Only me, there is no God.'

So already where you are, you can even report to someone and say, 'I met God, but I don't always stay with Him because the tentacles of Maya sometimes pull me in.' So to even have lived in this life and to even confirm that I've had a glimpse of God's light within myself, is it already a big gift? So the mind is trying to frustrate you like this, saying, 'Why can't I always stay?' But what are you talking about? You're talking about God. That you met God for a moment is already a beautiful gift, already a beautiful... so the starting point is already beautiful. Although of course I will push you, of course I will push you deeper and stronger, but don't ever let the mind convince you that it's pointless, you're going empty-handed, because it is just not true. Because God has blessed us by His grace and we must always be grateful for that. Because we could have been lost like we were years ago. A God who just took His addiction or a question of belief or conviction, now you can truly say God. So it's very much a beautiful problem to have that I have met God but I cannot always stay in God's light, I sometimes return to the ego shadow.

I can also see it's playing from the other side also, like the good pleasure or the calmness when we are on and when we are with. So that also mind is trying to say, you know, if it's a guilty pleasure, guilt on the other side. Is this also some sort of feeling which only mind is playing? I don't know if I'm able to...

So it's like, yeah, it'll play. And both ways it is saying, even if you're feeling good, the pleasure of God is not a guilty pleasure. It is the pleasure of... if there is anything worthwhile in our existence, it is this. Because I realized many of us go through this where our mind says, 'But you're being irresponsible.' You see? 'Just you're spending all your time on God's presence. You are not ambitious, you are not planning for the future.' You get all that pressure from family and sometimes our own mind gives us those wishes as well, that this is not fair, everyone else is struggling so much, you're just sitting. So when it is there, it will push you with this, saying, 'This is not right, you must go and struggle like the world.' And when it is not there, it'll say, 'See, you lost, you can't have it forever.' So both ways it tries to create trouble for you. And that is why I'm saying that just don't worry about whatever is in this top story. It's only stories there in that top story anymore. Don't worry what it's saying because it cannot report the truth of anything.

Can it report the truth of right now? What this is? Not one moment it can tell you the truth about what is this, what is happening here. Not just in any situation in life. The mind is too small an instrument to be able to fathom the worthlessness of even one moment. And yet in its hypnosis, this will happen to you. 'You're missing the point. You'll go like this only now.' Like that, it'll tell you all of these stories, but they are not true, you see? Now for most of the world, they do not realize that there is another deeper source of knowledge. There is another deeper source of knowledge that the mind... many times after we come to satsang also, we feel like, 'What did I understand?' And then it sounds like very bad news if the answer is 'nothing'.

Should we start with the very basics from ground zero to get us back to ground zero? How do we know the world? How do we know the world? Like you're sitting in a room right now, how do you know that? You perceive it. So a lot of our knowledge is also perception, isn't it? Besides that, is this world flat or is it a sphere? This Earth planetary sphere is here. How do we know? And so that is not perception. So beyond perception also, we buy into data, concepts. Data, exactly. So we have conceptual knowledge. Like when it comes from credible sources, then we say this is true, even overriding our perception sometimes. Like you may feel like in your perception we are not moving, we are completely stationary. Our perception is we are completely stationary.

So one mode of knowledge is through perception, through seeing you in this room. The other mode of knowledge is through learned knowledge that people have told us. We have a concept, you see? Now when a concept appeals to us for it to be true, does it automatically become true? If I say to you that go in the next room, there's a unicorn standing, you could believe me because it's coming from me. So you could say it's tough, but because it's you, I believe you. But without that belief, you will not take it to be true. So the process of giving belief is to identify who has that, who has the power, who can believe or not believe? My mind is just a bundle of thoughts, so it can be at best the presenter of these thoughts if you were to take it to be something. But the power of belief is only with Consciousness, only with presence.

But if I was to say to you that anything that is valuable or truthful you cannot believe in this way, you cannot take to be true either as perception or as conceptual knowledge, what will you say? If I say to you anything that is useful you cannot meet either through perception or through conceptual understanding, how to decide?

Yeah, useful can be met, not the real. So unreal can be useful.

We'll come to that in a moment. But let's take this. I accept what he's saying. So okay, real. If I say to you that what is real cannot be met through concept or through perception? Yes. So first we must admit that with the tools that we have in our hands, we cannot do this task. So if I give you a weighing scale and tell you, 'What are the dimensions of this room?' you have to first admit you can't do it with a weighing scale. Then the question is, what else do we have? So if perception won't do it, if concept won't do it, is there anything else present to this presence? How will you find that which is true?

So if I say to you, 'Were you born?' Now your spiritual knowledge in the head will say, 'No, I wasn't born, I am Atma.' Children always will tell you. In the perceptual realm you will see, 'Oh, I am this body, of course it was born from my mother's womb.' I've been told all these things. But there's another answer that comes from presence. And what is that answer? 'I don't know.' It's not a bad start. Were you born? You know what your mind will say, you know what your senses are also saying. What is another answer available to us?

It is also knowledge from data, like I don't remember being born.

Yeah, yes. People have told you that you were born. So that is from data, from concept. And you correlate that with the perception of this body and the feeling of these sensations at the moment, isn't it? So you're using both perceptual and conceptual knowledge to say, 'Yes, it has to be.'

You know what your mind will say. You know what your senses are also saying. What is another answer available to us? It is also knowledge from data. Like, I don't remember being born. Yes, people have told you that you were born, so that is from data, from concepts. And you correlate that with the perception of this body and the feeling of these sensations at the moment, isn't it? So you're using both perceptual and conceptual knowledge to say, 'Yes, it has to be said, looking at the way of the world, that I was born.' And yet, because I've read the scriptures, I have been to satsang, I also know that I wasn't born. So that can become like a battle of concepts in our head. One set of concepts saying, 'But you are a person, you have to lead a good life, you're born to this mother, this is your birthplace, this is your date of birth,' all that we write. Yeah? On the other hand, when you read spirituality, it's like you are the unborn; you were never born, you see. That's very special. Seekers are so confused. But this point really is to get to the right instrument first before we can make a claim on the true spiritual answer.

One tip for that is to see if you have loved your master unconditionally. You are a person. Another one unconditionally, or your children, my parents, unconditionally. How do you know that love is there? But how do you know what is just there, just now, and just both temporarily and spatially? How do you know? Is it visible? Find that love and see that many times, actually, emotionally you may be angry or frustrated, you see, with that person or with that Guru or God or whatever. So in the emotional taste of it, it may be frustration, not love. But yet you say, 'Do you love your children? Do you love your master?' Most masters are meant to frustrate us, and yet we love them because we feel frustrated because they're squeezing the concepts out of our head, but we still love them. Where is that love now? Frustration we know is an emotion; it comes. And also the, like, the worldly love, you know, 'Oh, I love you, I love you so much, I can't live without you,' that kind of love. And then next day, 'I need my space, please, you're crowding me, give me my space.' That which is independent of these feelings, there is a deeper love. So where is that now? If you say we love God, we love the guru, or we love our parents, or we love our children, or we love our beloved, how is that known? Is it just a mental love? No, it's not in that, not in the head exactly. So where is that?

Okay, so with me so far? Who can recap? Is that I'm proposing to all of you that there is another type of knowledge that we are unfamiliar with. Beyond perceptual knowledge and conceptual knowledge, there is a deeper knowledge. And one way to access that knowledge is to find love in our heart because that love is not conceptual and that love is not seen. Because many times we experience an emotion which is the opposite of that love, and frustration and other things, but we know, 'I love my master, I love my parents, I love my children, and I love my partner,' whatever kind of love it is. So if I was to tell you that latch on to that love and let it lead you to where it is coming from, let it lead you to where it is coming from, that will show you God's presence in your heart. Because for many it doesn't seem that straightforward. When I say, 'Can you stop being?' many of you can just come directly to the presence, but for many it seems still difficult. So for them, I want to say that all of us have loved in our life, and at this point also there must be some love in our heart for something. Although it is truly impersonal, you can follow that love. Where does it come from? Didn't you normally? So you do one recap for you.

Knowledge, some of them is conceptual, some of that is based on some reliable sources, some of our own concepts. So you can see this body in front of me.

So you say, 'Where is Ananta now?' This way you know that through your perception, through sight, you know that there is somebody sitting in front of me. In the same way, you know many things not through perception but conceptually. Are you a good person? Yeah, you know you're a good person. How do you know? If you have a punch, you have a concept of it. I know. And because it is a strong concept, other people may come and tell you, 'No, no, you're not so good,' but you're saying, 'No, I'm good.' What do you see? So that is conceptual knowledge. That is the knowledge that we know in concept. Same way we know that this Earth is moving, although it feels completely stationary when we perceive it. It seems if somebody was to not have that conceptual knowledge and say, when you go to that person and say, 'This world is moving, this Earth is moving really fast, it's going like this, like this, and like that, like that, like a top,' he'll say, 'You're crazy, dude.' But we believe that conceptual knowledge as well.

Now for most of spirituality, most people have believed in God in this way, that 'I believe in God' just in the same way that we believe in our goodness or just conceptually. But I want to show you God. I want to show you God because just believing... so you came with belief, otherwise you would not come in. I don't want to make your beliefs stronger; I want to give you conviction. My job is to show God to you. But to show you God, I first have to introduce you to the instrument through which you can recognize God. You see, through perception it won't happen, and through thinking it won't happen. So most of us feel like, 'But that's all we have.' Take away all perception, you take away all concepts, you don't have anything else. Most believe that. And that is why I'm saying that you know something deeper than that, because only through that you have recognized love, you see. Do you see that love as a perception? Like, have you seen that love? So that kind of love, is it permanent? Don't worry, I'm not... I may look scary, but we're talking like friends. So that love would come like, 'Oh, I love you so much,' that you can perceive? No, that you feel it like that. It's a feeling love. But that love is not permanent because that love tomorrow will become irritation. Say, 'No, no, leave me alone, I'm tired of you.' All those things happen. But you may have a love for someone which is permanent, which is independent of that feeling. And that someone could be God, it could be parents, it could be children, it could be partner, it could be anybody, independent of what feeling may be there. So that love, how is that recognized?

Suppose that love is for God. How do you know? Like, we love God because... why do bad things happen to good people? All of these things. And yet if you were to ask, 'Do you love God?' Yes. It doesn't have to be God for everyone. Parents, children, we love anybody. In the same way, you know that you are here. Do you know you are here? Do we only know that the body is here through perception? Is that what our answer is when we say 'I am here'? Everyone with me? Because this point, it may seem a little strange. I want you also to get this gift which my master gave to me. And you're here for how long? So today, by the time you leave this room, you should have my gift. Yes. And it's very simple. If it was difficult, don't think computer is something difficult. Okay?

So that you are here, are you just talking about yourself as a body? Something else you go through here. What is that? Suppose you could not perceive this body, your eyes were closed and no sensations of the body were being perceived. Do you still have this sense that 'I am here'? Isn't it? I am. Now this is what we are calling the presence. Okay? So this is what we call the presence. Try to stop it. Like, don't be. Can you do? Just don't be for one moment. Just try to stop it. Can you do? Try to stop it. Just try to not be. Can you do it? No. Right now, just try. Keep reporting. What is your experience? But you are there independent of just this body, isn't it? Independent. Independently. So this presence, that which is independent of the body, see if it has a desire. Does it have a desire? So that presence is your Atma. That presence which you cannot find through senses, you cannot think about it, but you cannot switch it off. I say 'don't be,' but it's apparent 'I am.' This 'I am' presence is this Guru presence, is the Holy Spirit, is the intuitive light, is God's light, whatever word you want to put. So this 'I am' doesn't have any preferences. Subject to find one reporting them, check for yourself. Does it have a desire, preference? Is it changing with time? Is something above it or below it? Is it within space? Is it inside the body? Check all these. Check.

It feels scary sometimes too. Like, I won't snap out of it.

I know. It seems like risking too many things. Yes, it is a big risk. How do you like... I accept it. Accept that it is a big risk. Everything that you have valued, you see, has been false. Rather than reassuring you, you see, I want to tell you the truth. See, because you can only risk that which will go. That's why I had to go out. When you look, 'I just want to snap out of it,' it's happened to many. You can feel like... when I started sharing something, there was a very dear friend of mine. We met at work and I have shared so much about my... like a child with me. So over the years, I've been chatting with her. But after meeting Guruji, when I met her, she said, 'I can't meet you now because I'm too scared. I look into your eyes, I didn't want you to look at me again.' Okay, I'm familiar with that because I know over the years that happened a few times where someone says, 'No, no, I'm not ready yet because this seems too much.' Normally we say that 'I do want to know what it is,' but when I'm even a little bit closer, it seems too much.

Yes. So the mind will propose to you that danger is coming. Your mind will propose to you the danger is coming. I'm going to use one of my favorite metaphors. Suppose the false is the thief and the truth is in your heart. Now, as you close to catching this thief and asking it to go, do you feel the thief will come and say, 'Yes, yes, this is very good, keep going'? It will say, 'You're going wrong.' So if you trust the thief, how to catch the thief? Keep running around like this. Really, the mind is telling you, 'I'm scared, I'm scared.' There's a movie called Revolver, which is one of my favorites. So in that, there's an elevator scene where the mind is about to lose his mind and just find the truth, or the mind says, 'I'm scared, I'm scared.' So it whispers to you like that in your ear. And if you go with that, then you go with that. But the point is that that's why I'm introducing you to a deeper knowledge. It will only feel more and more at home here. The mind is getting scared and you'll find escape mechanisms for you, but somewhere within you, that which has got you to satsang will also feel at home.

So many have come to satsang with so many different things and not getting any answers to those things, but finding something which is greater and deeper in their heart. And that is something that I would encourage you to trust. I cannot force that, of course, but I would encourage you to trust. Because as my master says, nobody comes to the self-realization and says, 'I regret it. Please give me my whole life back, or replace this with a million dollars, or get me the most beautiful life partner, or give me the best job.' But if somebody says, 'You give back what you have found here, I give you the best, highest things that the world has to offer,' we will say no. So we can be a bit reassured with that, that this path would seem so dangerous to the mind, actually leads to fully eternal truths. I'll tell you something which will seem a bit stark. We are on a treadmill and the end of that running is only death. So actually, the life that we are leading right now is the one that is going to death. This is the one that is scary. What I am pointing to is your eternal life, is your deathless life, which is not in time. But to the mind, which is the lawyer for the person, one race with a child, he came and got a life or something.

It is dangerous to the mind, actually, these fully eternal truths. I'll tell you something which will seem a bit stark: we are on a treadmill and the end of that running is only death. So actually, the life that we are leading right now is the one that is going to death. This is the one that is kept. What I am pointing to is your eternal life, your deathless life, which is not in time. But to the mind, which is the loyal servant of the ego, this can seem very scary.

Once a child came and got a life or something, and he said, 'I go to satsang, you also come. It's very nice, he's very loving,' all of that. Oh, happily she came. I was reading in those days. She heard me for two minutes and I just looked at her and she was just, you know, like that. I said, 'What happened to you? Can I just step out for a moment? I'll come back.' So I said, 'Yes.' You know, if you just want to go with it, then go to a different room. That time, if you do more, there's a balcony. She went to the balcony, you know. She came back. She came back, she said, 'Yeah, it's good, I'm good.' Then I started speaking again within two minutes, okay? And then I said, 'What happened? Can you be comfortable? What's happening? Do you want to go out again and come back?' She said to me—correct me—but she said that, 'No, no, it's not you, it's me. I don't feel like I am ready for this, so I just have to leave.' And she left. And she said that, 'I'm really not welcome back' or something like that. So, these things do happen. This can seem so fearful.

But actually, if you truly look, if you truly look, what is scary? Okay, that we will have to, like you said, it seems too much of a risk. Now remember one thing: whether you hear anything else, there is no such thing as riskless faith. There is no such thing as riskless faith. No risk, no faith. So those who are in satsang with me, I tell them that you have to risk your entire life. I'm not telling you there's no risk, you'll be fine completely. You want God? What are you willing to risk? Even if you go to a shop to buy a mobile phone, you're risking money. Now you want God, what are you willing to do?

So the discovery of God is possible for those who are willing to risk, even if they recognize they are scared of something. There is always this fear, like, 'What if I ask anything and nothing happens to me?' I realize, and I like enough, correct. That risk you have to take. Because another new one who came to satsang the other day said to me, 'Okay, I will give up internally'—I'm not asking anyone to give up anything outside—'I will give up everything internally, but then what if I don't find God?' We don't even know what it is. We don't know. And for the strange, absurd man who's telling you all these strange, absurd things, are you willing to risk it? There is no... you have set the table for the guest to arrive, but will the guest come? Risking everything for a moment, a glimpse of God's light—that is the attitude of a true devotee. That is the attitude of the true devotee.

I'm telling you all of this to inspire you, not to make you feel guilty at all about it, because it's very natural to have this fear. But I want to just elevate you beyond your mind so that when the mind comes to you and scares you, you say, 'I'm betting it for God. I'm betting it.' And it seems scary. Your words may tremble as you say them, but at least you're living with integrity then. You're living with integrity. 'I want to meet God, but I'm scared. I want to lose my comfortable life,' or 'I don't want to lose my relationships,' or 'I don't want to lose my job,' or something. Then at least we have that integrity and we are offering that to God. 'Make me stronger,' you see. 'Give me strength so I let go.' Otherwise, surrender just remains a very conceptual sort of word. 'Oh, I'm Yours, God. Yeah, I feel Yours. I'm at Your feet, Father, fully. Whatever You say, I say.' Inwardly, be fully empty. And that also sounds fine, because 'be willing to lose it all'—that sounds scary. But 'fully empty' means lose it all, right? Be willing to lose it all.

It doesn't mean you have to leave your life, your job, your partner. All that outwardly is fine. But inwardly, you have to dedicate your life to God. And then if it is God's will, then all the other things can continue or not. That much risk we have to take to find the greatest gift in this universe. If somebody tells you, 'Who's your favorite movie star?' and there are a lot of times those of most people, Leonardo DiCaprio. So suppose somebody said that Leonardo DiCaprio is going to be at Bangalore airport and he's going to be meeting people, but there is a chance it may happen. If you really love Leonardo, you'll say, 'I'll take the risk and I'll go to the airport.' Now I am telling you that the greatest Being in this universe, that in which our life emerges, in the light of which this universe is born—what is the risk you're willing to take for that one? Not that He's asking for something in return for the meeting, but that emptiness, that letting go, that surrender is a requirement. You can bear Bangalore airport, Bangalore traffic to meet Leonardo; what can you bear to meet God? How can you risk?

So I am on a rampage against a very comfortable, convenient armchair spirituality, you see, because that is the marketing that has happened, unfortunately, in the last 50-60 years in India where spirituality has become like a self-help thing. 'Come to spirituality, you will become peaceful, you will become prosperous, you will become this, you will become that.' I want to remind everyone that no, it is not a self-serving thing, it's a self-sacrificing thing. It's a self-sacrifice. To meet God, you have to jump off your own head. Not literally, because I will not make you often inwardly. Literally would be easier. It's not enough, because for our beliefs many are willing to do that to themselves and do that to others also, you see. But this is beyond your beliefs also, because you have to let go of your beliefs to be empty. To return to the innocence of a child, you see, is more difficult than anything outwardly in the world. So with that approach, you become like a spiritual lion inwardly, but you usually become like a spiritual servant to the seeker outwardly.

Maya will tempt you with things and also says, 'But if you become too spiritual, you lose everything.' But once you've already lost it inside, then you will not be pushed around. So I'm just seeding all of this in you. I was seeding all of this in you, that may your spirituality be that of a warrior. May your spirituality not be that... okay, outwardly you may become weakish, you may become sheepish externally in the world, but inwardly you are not going to be pushed around by your mind so much. Because otherwise, the mind will keep pushing you and tempting you. So that is my blessing and my love. For what is the value that we have? What we go... this is a bunch of food, no? It's a lump of food. This will go anyway. It's going in a matter of a few years. What else would I be scared to lose?

So the mind will come and scare you, but you may risk everything. But what is so valuable? You have nothing, actually nothing. That which you may find is the only thing of value. But the thief says, 'No, no, don't go there,' because its dominance will come to an end. Its dominance will come to an end. Oh my God. So when you have that approach, and even if there is nobody who is 100% surrendered, okay, but what I'm saying is have that integrity like you have just now, you see. 'I want to surrender in my heart, I fully trust you, but when fear comes about this topic, then I can't let go. Please help me.' Then our spirituality becomes full of integrity and then we come to the true spirituality, which is 'me for God' and not 'God for me.' That is to surrender. You find that, okay?

So what am I doing? What is my job? I found a good metaphor for this. So my job is to introduce you to God in your heart and then to help you make your life into a temple for that God. Not your body, but your life. It's all for God. It's not to help you, but in the process, that is the only true help you can get in the world. But if we make this about you, then it becomes egoic. I know that God sits in your heart—not your physical heart, but your spiritual heart. God is your spiritual heart. And I know that the highest gift to the world is to create as many temples to this heart altar as possible. So I am in the temple construction business, you could answer. Find me after many years when somebody asks me, 'What do you do?' and you just tell them, 'Temple construction.'

Because as I was leading you to this presence, I was just going to say that because you find this presence, your life must now become about that and not about you. As you find this presence, as you find this light within you, our life must be in service to that. Whatever we take ourselves to be now, whether it is the body or the universe, must now become in service to that. So you may find it—I don't know if you heard online or not—but you may find it very different from usual spirituality which is saying that, 'Oh, you have a spiritual aspect of your life, you have an emotional aspect, you have physical aspect, you have work aspect, so you have to balance all of that out.' I'm saying: only God, okay? And if God wants the rest to happen, it will happen anyway. If He doesn't want that to happen, it won't happen. As much as you may want it, it won't happen anyway otherwise. So you stop trying to balance these things and try to make the perfect pie chart and flowchart. You find God, you find God's word, and once you find God, I will push you to surrender your life to Him.

So first is to meet God. I was telling my sister here also that I want to show you, I want to show you. I don't want you to have deeper belief in your head, because that goes. One life slaps us around a little bit, belief is gone. But once you have true insight in your heart, then you become stronger, you become energy. So I want to utilize this time that we have together so that you can come towards meeting with the Atma within you, because that is God's light within you. But 'within you' is not anything... I don't have to keep clarifying that, not within the body, but within yourself. In yourself is God's light.

These days I've also been saying, I am saying to you that within you is God's light. So am I lying to you, or am I foolish, or am I stupid? You say, 'Okay, not most so far.' Literally nobody has said one of those things. But so suppose you say that this, okay, it's true, we believe what light is within us. Now if God's light is within you, then how can you be bothered about anything? If I'm not lying—and hopefully you can tell that I am speaking from self-discovery and not just some conceptual knowledge—then if I'm not lying, so I'm presenting for you the possibility of this being true for you. In fact, I'm telling you that it's not a possibility, it is a reality. But under the hypnosis of the mind, it can seem like it is not true. But I am telling you that God is within you, God's light is within you. Now what is your approach towards life going to be? Your life must change, my dear, that you've got this good news for all of us. And it doesn't matter, you could become research and 12 years of the first section, but after hearing this today, our life must change. God lives in my heart, and my life so far has been about the non-existent ego, little old me. Now I'm presenting a completely different perspective to what life is, you see. So either tell me why I'm lying or I'm foolish or crazy, or change. Change, because that 'me' that you're taking yourself to be doesn't exist. I am telling you that God is in your heart, but you cannot just then make the satsang part of, 'Oh, it was nice to meet him, I found some peace, so you know, it bothered me whatever,' and then say, 'Okay, let's move on with our life.' I have given you some good news, the best possible news to receive as humanity, which is to tell you that God lives in your heart.

The hypnosis that my mind has me in truly just has such a grip over attention. It threatens me with unending pain and it's just like...

I am telling you that God is in your heart, but you cannot just then make the satsang part of, 'Oh, it was nice to meet him, I found some peace, so you know, it bothered me whatever,' and then say, 'Okay, let's move on with our life.' I have given you some good news, the best possible news to receive as humanity, which is to tell you that God lives in your heart.

The hypnosis that my mind has me in truly just has such a grip over attention. It threatens me with unending pain and it's just like I'm afraid, you know? If I truly just rest in God's presence and don't take a position as a doer responsible for this life, I'm just gonna experience hell. Yes, and I know how ridiculous that sounds, but the hypnosis is very, very, very strong and it just infiltrates through my body constantly.

Okay. And this satsang and all satsangs are a rehab for that hypnosis. Because somebody who's addicted to drugs or alcohol also feels like they will die without it, and yet they have to be restrained in the rehab to not indulge, and they realize that not only is life possible, only the only true life is this. Okay? You can also explore that the one who says 'this hypnosis is too strong,' you see, is that part of the hypnosis itself? Check for yourself whether it is the thief just tricking you, saying you can never catch the thief, you are not strong enough. It is the thief.

But it's just the vibration is so intense that I keep falling for it. This voice is clearly the thief. It's the mind's trick.

Yes. So like I was telling you that day, I noticed that the vibration itself—this is the vibration itself—whatever you are experiencing is happening where? In phenomenal space in front of you, in the space of your being, which remains untouched no matter how strong the vibration is. You see the space in this room? If my hand was shaking like this, like this, like this, or it was shaking like this, or it was not shaking at all, would it matter to the space in this room? No. Your Atma is that space in which this space takes birth. You don't have to understand it. There is somewhere that these are apparent to you. Your experience, your being, your Consciousness, your Atma as well—all this emerges. So even this space, which remains untouched no matter what moves in it, is more gross than your spirit. Your space is subtler than that.

This space is very subtle, untouched by whatever moves in this. The 'I am' presence, the room of this—even this space in the room, you see, whatever furniture you bring, whatever it is, it is not affected by it. You see? But where does this space emerge from? Where did this time, apparent time, emotion, both emerge from? The space of your being, which is subtler than even this space. Look, more than even this. So even this space is untouched by what may come or go. Your space is completely beyond all of this. And this you can only recognize; you cannot really understand, although the metaphor is meant to make you understand. But the real point is for you to be that energy.

So, my presence, this is the truth. Okay. Of course, there's—I love Rupert Spira, he is someone that I truly love. And I read a quote from him, I read this book, and there was one thing that I didn't understand yet. And because of my love for him, you know, just the way I love you—do I love you? Because I didn't understand it, it cast a shadow over this understanding, which in my heart nothing can, but belief somehow cast a shadow. And that's okay, I heard it, so I want to tell you one thing and we'll get into the specifics of that if you like.

Normally, if you look at any sage and you go through this stuff, you will find that it completely brings itself to zero. You will find that if you read it in any quantity, you see, not just one quote, anything—if you read like a few hundred pages of what anyone has said, you will see that they have completely contradicted themselves and brought themselves to zero, then brought you to a zero, which is the nature of concepts. Exactly. The whole thing exactly. Never do it. And here also, if you look at even one satsang transcript, if you go through it entirely, I would have completely confused you. But what happens is nobody listens fully. We listen to the part we are attracted to and we like. In confirmation bias, we feel like, 'Yeah, this is good,' but we don't hear the rest, which is the opposite of it.

Because the point is not to make you conceptually understand, but to bring you to a conceptual emptiness. Maybe in that conceptual emptiness, the truth of what is being pointed to is apparent, you see? And that is why I don't have a doctrine. I don't have a philosophy. I don't have a template, you see? It just keeps changing. The words can keep changing. But mostly, like a good metaphor to explain that is: if I find you too much on this side, I will say, 'Come this way.' If I find you too much on that side, I'll say, 'Come this way.' So both 'this way' and 'this way' are being pointed to, right? It can seem like full contradictions. But if you meet the master in their way, you see, and not just in their word, then you will find what they're pointing to. And all the beautiful names you took—there's nothing to worry about. It's all a great emerging. So I'm not concerned about that aspect at all. But you cannot take something in isolation. Like if somebody was doing that with my words, they would have a field day. It's like, 'This doesn't make sense, and this doesn't make sense.' Nothing else makes sense because it's just so...

Thank you. I'm sorry guys if—hopefully it benefits everybody. Okay. So this is an excerpt from Rupert Spira, 'You Are the Happiness You Seek.' It reads like this: 'We all feel that health is the natural state of the body. Why do we not feel that happiness is a natural state of the mind? In this book, I will suggest that it is, that happiness is the very nature of our being herself, and as such lies in potential within us, accessible by all people and at all times, with the possible exception of those times when the safety and well-being of the body are compromised.' And it's that last part that's like, okay, you may lose happiness for the presence of God—I call happiness the presence of God—when the safety and well-being of the body is compromised. And that just, you know, it makes me responsible. 'Oh, I need to make sure I'm watchful for this body because I don't want to lose the presence of God,' which is ridiculous since I don't exist and only the presence of God exists. But it's something just...

Yeah, I'll give you a very harmless way to look at that, although I really—okay, as an exception I'll do it. Otherwise, sometimes it's good to keep these things burning. It's good to keep these things burning because what can burn is only the false. So it becomes like a Zen koan. 'What is he saying?' But okay, this one I'll help you. If you were to look at it like that, if I was to say to you, 'You can always be happy no matter what, you can just be happy,' would it sound like good news to you? It sounds good. But within a week somebody will come and say, 'You know, I was driving to that place and then I almost had an accident, and for that moment I was not happy. So I haven't got it yet. I'm missing the boat.' Like something is important. So then, okay, sometimes it will happen then. In the world you're faced with some danger, don't expect that you'll be happy, but at least the rest of the time you'll be happy. And so this is where I think the definition of happiness is what you're looking at.

The quote—as if it is a mahavakya, you know—is like there are some sentences which are pointing to like a gospel truth which you can only find in silence. But don't make just a simple pointer to something new and expect it to serve the purpose. The mind has done it.

Yes, the mind has managed. Yes. Okay. But is this accepted? Because the mind cannot do it. It can propose it, whatever, but without your belief, what is its power? This burning right has like been kind of a thorn for me and it's led me down this search of what the true meaning of that is. And so this is kind of what my mind can present to you from my heart's findings, because I think it's been a deep exploration. And so this presence, this 'I am,' has a natural perfume. The perfume of the Self is joy. Consciousness, 'I am,' is in the field of the manifest. So there is the presence of God emanating out of this naturally as joy. But this joy is a flavor within the manifest.

Speaking too dizzy from the presence. The mind is an expert in building frameworks and systems. Leave that aside. If it's true, it's not going anywhere. So you have this expression like you're going to lose something if you follow what I'm saying. I'm saying leave the framework now. Speak fresh. Presence is here, honey. Yes. What else do we need to understand and build? And what is it for anyway? It's not a shut-off call at all to continue this conversation, but see that even your most beautiful insight, your mind will try to participate and say, 'His presence and then the joy and the joy, it is happiness,' you see? But the presence is not doing any of that, isn't it? So for what do we need to understand to quench the thirst of the mind? Because my mind just wants to get rid of itself. It doesn't, and it will never be quenched, you see? It is the unending appetite. Mind is the unending appetite. If you think that by feeding it this, it will be satisfied and leave you alone, it won't.

May I indulge this guilty pleasure one time?

Don't talk. Okay. And this—there is a truth to this and I felt the truth, and maybe I'm presenting it intellectually, but I just want to confirm my findings from the past which may not be alive right now, but I feel it in my heart that they're true. Okay.

So the perfume of the Self—if the body is harmed, like there's danger coming, a lion coming, maybe temporarily the perfume, because it's in the temporal realm, the manifest, can be replaced by pain and pleasure. You know, pain can come. So a body must threat and you can experience pain still. But this is why I think there's one step further to what Rupert said, where in fact there is a solidness which even a lion coming to bite you or someone coming to chop your head off, you never leave that space, that presence. And that presence—this might not be the happiness, might not be the right word—but it's just full of God and full of light.

So whatever—what is the—why is it so meaningful for you?

Just so I could rest, shut the mind off, in God's presence.

Okay, you're right. All right. Yeah.

I think there's nothing in the world to touch me. Whatever it takes to shut the mind off.

Is there a question of being right or is it a question of shutting the mind? Shutting the mind. Because you cannot be right and shut the mind.

I don't want to be right. I just want to shut the mind.

Earlier, how you want to serve the Lord within you, the other way around. What does that mean?

Yes, yes. Very good. Exactly what I was coming to.

So you're finding the presence and now you have no excuse to not follow some of the questions. So what does that look like? I'm just getting into that. So first confirm that you cannot find or recognize the presence unless you're open. It's not possible to be under the hypnosis of the mind and then say, 'Oh, the presence is here' or 'God is here.' Because although it is a seeming only, the hypnotism of the mind's seeming is by God's design. It's not a minor seeming. It's not like a 3D IMAX or something like that where you can just leave it. When you're hypnotized by the thought, you believe that thought, the presence will seem like—will seem like it is not true, it is not your reality. That's why every single master, every single tradition, no matter what they follow, they will tell you: don't identify with your thoughts, you see? In one way or the other. Because under the hypnosis of the thought, the reality of God's light seems to get obscured and we call that the ego shadow. Now as you open and empty most of your outer life...

Where you can just leave it, or you are hypnotized by the thought. You believe that thought, and the presence will seem like it is not true; it will seem like it is not your reality. That's why every single Master, every single tradition, no matter what they follow, they will tell you: don't identify with your thoughts, you see, in one way or the other. Because under the hypnosis of the thought, the reality of God's light seems to get obscured, and we call that the ego shadow.

Now, as you open and empty, most of your outer life will unfold just naturally. It unfolds naturally, like you're listening now. Maybe not in 'now,' you see, like that is happening. The rest of our life also unfolds like this. So that is the simplest way to follow God's will, although actually even that will not seem simple because the mind will come with its temptations and plans and ideas. So it actually becomes quite effortless and simple to love the light, to unfold our life, which is that whatever you take your life to be—whether at this point you take your life to be the life of this body or you take your life to be the life of this entire universe—you can allow it to unfold in this light naturally. That is the first aspect of what this God-surrendered life or God-loved life looks like.

Then what may happen is that you may feel guided by the heart through the Satguru voice, through the intuitive voice, towards something to be done or to unfold or to share something. And that also we must follow, and willingly, because if this is truly about God's life, then God's light may use that instrument also to share this God-love with others. So, it'll seem like two ways, but it's actually very simple. The first way is to just allow God's light to unfold life without any mental interference. And the second is, if you receive some guidance from your heart, from your intuition, then have the willingness and the open-heartedness to follow it fully. That's what our life becomes.

So, I usually don't speak in this way of steps, but just to define: first find God's presence within you, find God's light within you. So truly, we are not living unless that happens—not a true life unless that. And once you find God's light within you, have the willingness that this life be in service to that light at whatever cost, at whatever risk it may seem like.

Now, one word of caution, which I've been sharing with some of your kids also, is that the mind is very tricky. It's very tricky. It's very deluded—oh, it's very sorry, it has like a power of hypnosis or delusion. So it will pretend that it will pretend a lot to represent this voice. That is why for those of you who are coming into God's life and have the feeling to follow God's will in their life, we must find an anchor inside in the words of the Masters, in the scriptures. Find an anchor because the mind will present many things as very true and even coming from the heart, but they may be just taking us for a spin.

So many times it can happen that those who come to satsang may find what I'm saying, and then the mind will take them and say, 'But now you don't need to come to satsang. You know how you can do it. You have God's voice within you. You can just do whatever you see.' And they get tricked in this way. So it's very important to anchor, to find an anchor, so that we don't get into any delusions of grandeur or mental sort of identification.

When the entity voice will be obvious, is it going to use those words which my mind uses? And is it going... so that voice is coming, the intuition will use my mind to bring that message to me, no?

It's completely heart to mouth. God, now are you going to continue to live on your mind's false terms? We'll try now how to be in that sense. Are you more anchored now than when we started? That's how many of you will find that those desires which used to tempt us so much—and it doesn't have to be just desire, I'm calling all the temptation my temptation—a temptation to get angry, a temptation to fulfill your desire, or a temptation to follow just an instinct. All these temptations, whatever they may be, they don't seem as strong as they used to be before satsang, isn't it? So in the same way, you get grounded more and more, and the mind cannot tempt you so easily with anger, resentment, pride, guilt, lust, frustration. All of these things are not that compelling now.

Well, he said that I rely on the heart completely in everything. He's like, so even like mundane things like, 'I'm bored, what should I do?' Can I ask God?

Relying on the heart, show me how you can get bored. Because I haven't got bored since I met Guruji thirteen years ago. I don't feel bored now. But not now, that's the beauty of it. In your heart, it is like... for the mind, they sound like solitary confinement, like a prison sentence or something. But what I'm telling you is that it is so beautiful. I don't want to quantify more because it will make a benchmark, your mind will make a benchmark. But you will love your presence so much, you won't miss... like, the question of getting bored is not there. I can even have a conversation. That's why I said that just being open and empty in God's light, most of those will just unfold automatically.

Like before, how we relied on the mind—the same thing, actually, we don't really know whether we relied on the mind. The mind was a constant commentator, many times a post-facto commentator on things that are happening, but life was unfolding itself. But if it feels like that, it's okay. 'I used to rely on my mind, I used to live on my own terms,' you see. But now I'm relying on my mind, but... I am proposing a very simple existence. Not simple outwardly—you could be King Janaka, it doesn't matter—but an inwardly simple existence. Would you rather just be here, or would you rather be here and think about what is going to happen tomorrow and the stuff you said yesterday and how to make things right and how to make your life perfect? What is it that you would want? And it's available to you. This simplicity is already available to you.

Mind is like, accordingly, like as you say, it is technically a third party, right? What relation do I have? So there is this 'I,' me, and then there's this mind. So if you take it out of my skull, it won't function. So how can it not be? Even this question, according to you, what is it? That's what the question means.

Before we even make it a third party, who is it as the mind? Who are you? I know one day you came to your bedroom and somebody had installed a speaker there, suppose, and that speaker started speaking to you and said, 'Order pizza from...' So you will get this thing. And then you say, 'Okay, it's in my room, so it must be representing me.' Only if it is you, then why do you need a voice to hear it? It's bad news, you know. So just because the voice is there, it is a great benefit of the doubt to say, 'Okay, it's here, must be me only.' So see if it is representing something really. Whose or where is it? It's absurd, actually, what I'm saying. Most of the world is following this phone call: 'Hello, you must do this today.' But who are you? Nobody asked. Because this voice is here, it must be me. But if it's you, why do you need a voice to hear it? You see? That's the most absurd. I guess you would not need to talk to you; you would know.

It's confusing, you see. Like, because of the mind I came here. I'm not sure if that is wrong or right, but yeah.

It is wrong. Many times it happens—I was sharing this the other day—many times I say get rid of the mind, and I've heard this before: 'But the mind brought me here.' Okay, so the mind brought you here, and now that you're finding that it is not fulfilling the mind's objectives but you're finding God, then you say, 'No, but how can I be that ungrateful to the mind? So I'm going to continue to suffer for the rest of my life and maybe many lifetimes because you brought me here.' Maybe. It cannot actually bring or not bring; it's just a bundle of thoughts. Your belief in the thought makes it seem real, makes that hypnosis seem alive.

Now, the one who decided to go with the thought, what does it want?

Very good. So the one who decided to go with the thought—so the thought was presented to it. Now it has the power of attention and belief. So he decided to give its attention and belief to the thought, which he has to go with the thought. Now that one, what does it want now? Nothing. And that one is also a source of true knowledge. It's not just waiting around, 'Okay, somebody come and tell me what to do.' It is the source of true knowledge. And any question that may come about why does it do like this then, and all of that, is impossible to answer. But you can see it's a Leela. It has its own willingness, and we can say... we can put a hundred different explanations, but you can say, 'Okay, we have understood the mind of God,' which we really can't. But whatever satisfies our sense of away the question, like I think it's quite a thing with the rest of the quest, that's fine.

But for the human intellect to presume that we can fathom the ways of God, you see, itself is a great arrogance which you don't realize. You would not expect this plant to understand. Why do we create that? It's a plant; why are you asking him? He put me also like that. To me, we have no such great intellect or something like that that can understand. Mind can be used as an expression of that, right? That's a difficult attempt because you will have to work very hard to find like the nuggets of truth which your intellect will have to sieve out and present. Rather than that, just follow your heart moment, you see? Then without any effort, your words are scriptural. So why you want to do all that work then, when your heart is already there? What wants to defend the mind so much?

The use of the mind is to present you a story about your life, to present a story about your life where your life really is so broad that it cannot be defined. But in the story, we have taken ourselves to be a storybook character. That's why our lives are so full of up and down. I am giving you a true foundation so that your life can be lived in God's light, where your love is not shaky, where your trust is not shaky, your faith is not shaky. All these things, you get used to living in a way that is independent of the events and the people around you. It is independent of how your body is behaving because our lives are so unstable at the moment, and we're looking for stability through conceptual understanding. But we are building more and more on the house of cards, thinking that one day this house of cards will become stable. But it doesn't happen. The more we build up the house of cards, the more unstable it is.

What can give us stability? That which is unchanging. Our beliefs, our thoughts are constantly changing. How can that give us more stability, you see? But if you say, 'Give me the true life with the solid foundation, but I want to keep building my house of cards also,' that can't happen. Remember, so I said you have to first risk it all. Let that house of cards be blown away because it's not real anyway. If the real could be blown away, then you know the real would not have any value. The real cannot be blown away. This is where that which we've understood as conceptual spirituality now hits the road. Now the rubber hits the road. We know real is unchanging—everybody knows—but now, if the real is unchanging, but you are scared about something going that cannot kill you? So it becomes an applied spirituality, not a conceptual one.

While you are explaining, sometimes you used the word Atma for that presence of being, and we also use God. Is that... maybe this is a very mental question. You have used sometimes the word Atma, sometimes...

Same thing. So when you look at this presence, you can experience it. You can experience it. But what is the boundary of this presence? No boundary. So can you experience something with no boundary? Try to perceive or experience something with no boundary, and yet you can experience it: the Atma. So although it is the Paramatma which is beyond the bounds, the presence...

Atma for that presence of pain, and we also use God. Is that—maybe this is a very mental question—you have used sometimes the word Atma, sometimes the same thing. So, when you look at this presence, you can experience it. You can experience it, but what is the boundary of this presence? No boundary. So, can you experience something with no boundary? Try to perceive or experience something with no boundary, and yet you can experience it, the Atma. So, although it is the Paramatma which is beyond the bounds, the presence which is experienceable—and we'll come to perception in a moment because it's even trickier than that—but that which is experienceable, that we call the Atma. This is actually not distinct. They're not two.

Sense of being is, well, yeah. So, the presence of being we can call the Atma; the being itself we can call the Paramatma. So, the presence we can confirm, but what is the boundary, the dividing line, between presence of being and being? Between thousand dollars for one hotel, find the dividing line. Maybe I feel like the presence is confined only to this framework. We'll check that. Like, how do you recognize the frame is a boundary? Beyond the technology, digital bound, what confirms the boundary? How is the boundary perceived?

My attention with the sensation.

Okay. Do you have ears right now? Now you do, you see? So, when I'm confirmed it through the sensation, one of my first gurus told me that you don't know you have an ear unless I turn it. Yeah, so you have that sensation. So, that sensation—suppose there is a boundary of sensations, although that is not your experience—suppose it creates a boundary, a solid boundary of sensations. Do you find that your presence is restricted to one side of the sensation?

I was just checking that, and to wherever my attention can go, I can see the presence.

Exactly. I mean, so it's not coming, but still I can go till only where my body exists.

Now you just said that wherever your attention can go. Yeah, the attention can. So, your presence is not here?

I cannot say that. Can you send your attention somewhere where your presence is not?

Let's talk. For me, the presence, it feels like a vibration within you.

Yes, it's good. It will feel like a vibration there. It's fine. But there was a physical thing, you see, because then if you were to send the medical equipment there and measure the world, you won't get any. That's why all these medical tests for this are all nonsense, because it's a different realm altogether. It's like saying, okay, once I find that I am not the dream body, how will the dream body change after their discovery? Let's do some brain scan and just like a dream body, whether it changes or not is up to the dreamer. Even if presence is there, like you're pointing, still I can feel it only within this game. Then how do you know presence is there? So, send your attention outside your presence. How you know?

So, only when the attention is here, I know there is presence.

No, no, no. I am saying that, okay, try to hear some traffic from the road because I reminded you. So, now did your attention go independent of your presence?

I mean, when I'm hearing the traffic, I can't feel left with it.

So, as you're hearing the traffic, you are not there?

I am there.

And where?

Here, but in the sensations that are being experienced.

Where are they being experienced?

Inside the world, inside me.

But inside you and the body? I feel like in the body all this world is being perceived within us. Okay, let's start with this employer spelling. Maybe you've not heard me saying, when you close your eyes and you go within, inside what are you going? Everybody says this in spirituality. Go within. I am destroying the attention back. Where? Where does it go when you go within? Within whatever. Stop paying attention to our outwards things. Okay, whatever I say to you now, close your eyes and imagine a tree which has pink flowers. You can see him. So, is that outside or inside?

Outside.

But outside what? Outside what? I mean outside, outside. Hi, outside I. You can travel something which is outside of you with your attention. Is it true? What determines the boundary of I? And within the body, where is the organs? Where is the blood? So, this is not within the body. Hold it. That screen on which you can project your imagery, what is the screen on which your thoughts are presented to you? What is the screen on which emotions are presented to you? Where is it? So, this is the mind's trick. Most simple things we don't explore. Everybody has this in and out, apparent in and out, but nobody has asked where is the same thing. You want these dimensions of this world. You had states, you may call it meditative states or half-sleep or whatever state, where the world is not there, where the dimension of time is not there or space is not. You had that experience within you, but within what? Can't be within the body. So, what are you, that can have these experiences within yourself? What are you if you witness this body? Close your eyes, go within with me. I see clearly. What is this? Where do you have your dreams? In dreams you can create universes, unending space, unending time. Where do you create it? You say in the mind. What is that? And how do we know this is not that? We're going to sleep tonight, we can have this conversation. No, in your dream also we could be having it. How do you know this is not that? So, we haven't really fully explored what is going on, and my job is to shake you out of this apparent nature of reality because it seems so compelling, but it's not true.

What? No, please. You could notice that that dream has gone. I mean, something notices what has remained. The dream body is born, gone. The dream life is gone. Sometimes we feel sad it went, and sometimes we feel happy it went. Yeah, either nightmare or beautiful dream, whatever. And now this is here. What noticed? Who is the contemplation? How is the contemplation about today's contemplation? To know this was a dream, I didn't have to move even an attention to know it. Something already knew, and I was not a movement. I mean, it was not a doing. And then we came to this presence of—then you know it suddenly switched to this presence which you're going to do will probably be the one which in which it... okay, I don't know. I remember just to begin this time, beautiful one. This one is one of my favorites. I know that story is up here. It's like the first thing in the city that didn't exist. Then there are three princes literally, and two were never born. Yes, the initial one where it says once you wake up that even with bondage and liberation was part of the—part of your dream.

Okay, so quickly can we come back to where we started? So, the true knowledge which is intuitive inside shows us the presence of our being which our mind cannot understand. So, if I've even got you to a point today where you admit that there is a being within you which your mind cannot fathom, then it's been good enough. Is there a being within you which your mind cannot understand or meet in any way, and your senses cannot truly capture? Although you may sense like a primordial vibration of that being, but you're not really able to answer: is it manifest or is it unmanifest? You can't answer it. Is it? Because although you may say I can experience it, it's like a vibration, I say okay, what is boundary? What is its color? All that is unanswerable. But for it to be manifest, it needs to have a few attributes, at least one attribute. So, you meet God in this intersection of the manifest and the unmanifest. Meet God in this intersection. So, you've gone beyond just taking the manifest to be real, you see? Because this is your final experience of that which is beyond just the manifest: your own presence. Am I the only one excited about it? Beyond time and space, you're meeting an intersection point. Thank you. We have the primordial vibration of God is recommended. Can you imagine what our life would be if this presence was not discoverable even through this primordial vibration? No life, exactly. So, this God's presence, God's light—some of you have some fears like you keep saying God's light, what? I don't see it as luminous. Do you keep saying with this? But it's okay. He doesn't have to appear luminous to you. It may not be experienced with luminosity, you see? That's a byproduct. It's okay as long as you can confirm that I am. It's clear, it's apparent. You're not thinking it, you're not perceiving it. It is apparent to you only in intuitive insight. Yes, so this intuitive insight, latch onto it with all your might. Leave it. Come with me. Thousands of offers can come like this. It will offer you spiritual experiences, it will offer you chakras, it'll offer you for leading me. All that is fine, I'm not against that, but I'm just saying that at any cost don't leave this light of its Master. Okay, just don't leave that scent. Come what may, just follow that scent and keep that sound because you are latched on to the scent of God. Your presence is the lifeline from God. Now Atma is true lifeline from the Brahma. Look at it. Don't leave it at whatever the cost may be. And when you leave it, then don't feel guilty about it. Don't continue the adventure. Return home immediately. That's what happened. Yes, 36-hour fast. Yeah, then my kids will say once you break it then you always like, 'Ah, okay, now broken, give me this also.' So, don't do that. Even if in a worldly diet you may do that, but with this, don't do that. Once you recognize that you've been mindy, don't continue that compulsion. Nothing is lost. There's nothing to sit and feel unworthy about and waste more time and all that nonsense. Just come back. Just leave like this, open and empty. It may—to the mind, this version of life may seem very lifeless and boring and without ambition and drama and friction and boredom and all of those things. You say, 'What's the point of living like this?' But I promise you that just like few seconds in a light like this is worth more than lifetimes, because this is your true life, your eternal life which is not bound by life and death. I left the spotlight on her because other questions came. It is still with me, in fact. And one of the questions in our leaders, I asked you that this would be a zombie life. Yeah, without—when you are with your intuition, it's like, 'Ah, that's where the zombie life thinking.' And then you reversed: a life which is going to end in death, is that a zombie life? Or the life which is eternal is the zombie life? How would you define a zombie? Already dead, isn't it? A zombie is already dead. So, that which is dying is already dead, right? Which is eternally alive is your true life. Is its presence and operatively outside? Something which is unintelligent, or is it like nice and intelligent? Is the sharing of satsang, does it seem like an unintelligent exercise or it seems like full of intelligence? No, I don't mind, like sometimes like that, pretty cool actually. So, if it has that intelligence then, and if I'm saying that it's coming straight heart to mouth, I have no idea what I'm going to say next, I'm also hearing the word like you're here, then it is possible. Is it required for us to do anything? Be in it for some time. Whatever you can do in it, do it in it. Whatever. But what's the problem in it? No problem. Why would you want an adventure outside? Yeah, so don't step outside. That's all I'm doing. Don't say about time. You're absolutely—did I first do that? You're already it. The stepping outside is to go with the hypnosis of the mind, you see? So, I am just telling you to chill, and for a while, of course, that seems like effort because we got used to it. No, I've taken the porter example very often. We were used to lifting bags from the conveyor belt all our life. You've done that. Somebody says, 'No, you retired, you're fine, you'll be absolutely comfortable.' The addiction is still there to go pick up. So, for a while it will seem like effort to not pick up the bags. It's on. What is more effortful: to use attention and belief to identify, or to let it all come and go? What is more efforts? Because that I...

Of course that seems like effort because we got used to it, no? I've taken the portal example very often. We were used to lifting bags from the conveyor belt all our life. You've done that. Somebody says, 'No, you retired, you're fine, you'll be absolutely comfortable.' The addiction is still there to go pick up. So for a while, it will seem like effort to not pick up the bags. What is more effortful: to use attention and belief to identify, or to let it all come and go? What is more effort? Because that is taking up energy. Because it is a habit, like my son is always shaking, so because that is the habit, it can seem like that is an effort to stop. But once he gets used to it, then it will become natural.

It looks like that you get used to referring to the mind to find the truth. Even now we may be saying, 'What is happening now?' 'What is happening' means what is happening in the world, what is happening to me. Where do we go for those truths? Where can we go? Because the mind will present you some version of this now. 'It was nice when he was talking about that, now it's a bit boring.' Now it just makes the conclusion it has nothing to do with this. And if you did not have that, then it will all seem lost because then there is no source of intelligence, there's no source of insight. But you have this.

So I've given you two things to really explore and hopefully change your life. One is that God is within you. It's not fiction, it's not conceptual; it's fully literal, fully real. And the second is that without your mind, you are not lost; you are actually fine. Both are completely contrary to the way of the world. Both are completely in opposition to the way of the world. And there you have to take a stand. Are you willing to stand out from the crowd? Are you willing to get off the beaten path and risk it all? Because don't expect that you will find this or you will agree to this and people will start falling at your feet. It doesn't happen for a long time. People will fight you. They want to say, 'Balance, make time for all of this, you're too young.' I'll tell you all this, and this is what the mind may be fighting even now: 'This is too much, you need to balance it out.' But there's no such thing as balance. Those who are trying to achieve it, they cannot do it. God has already done it that way.

Is that balance? No human can show you. It's just a natural balance of God's creation. We try to do it; we don't even exist. What do you want to do? If you're willing in your heart to love God without any balance, if you love God limitlessly, then I'm fully in service to you. That kind of fire is what I am a servant to. And that may appear sometimes as an aversion to the lie, an aversion to Maya, or a love for the truth. Either way, because both are the same. It may appear as a dispassion, the dispassion of Ram in the Yoga Vasistha. You go through the entirety of human existence at that point.

I saw like a meme where they said, 'First I was like, oh life is meaningless, but then after meeting the master, I'm just like, life is meaningless!' And this is beautiful about that because I'm saying that life is not meaningless, but we must get over the arrogance about our head setting the meaning. If the meaning of our life can be determined in our minds, you can find the meaning instantly in your heart. You are not confused about anything at all. But you must stop following this pride of the mind, which is 'I can understand the meaning of life,' because we can't. In the absence of conceptual grasping, it's freedom.

Living in intuitive insight is easy. Always living always is easy. When the intuitive... who's facing the consequence? Okay, we're going back home.

So I will tell you about the consequences. Ah, consequences. Maybe with an example. So my wife asked me on the 21st, 'Can we go for a dinner at XYZ place?' So I have no answer, right? I don't even know what she's asking. I don't know when is the 21st. Intuitively you are blank. I couldn't live like... and I'm not responding. So already I have consequences in your heart. That's what you call the price. But what I'm really saying is that as long as we stay in the heart, we cannot experience hell. Is it possible to stay in the heart and experience hell? Mind is compulsory for that. Yeah. So my family is already in heaven. So whether I answer or I don't answer any questions, if they're living like just a mental... against... yeah.

It can seem like a comfortable head. Comfortable because it's familiar and the risk seems too much to dive into the heart. But if you stand your ground, it's my hope and it's my blessing that they will also see that it is possible to live in the light of God. This is the thing: that first the mind will try to attack you. If they can't attack you from here, then it will use other instruments. But you cannot be shaken unless you are buying into thoughts about their thoughts. Now, first it will use everything to try and shake you out of this. Then maybe they will see that there is something to a life like this. You will see that there's something to a life like this, which means it becomes attractive at some point.

It's very rare when people believe that they are winning in life to make something out of it. But when the throats are getting squeezed—and life squeezes everybody's throat at some point—then this seems more attractive usually. So when there is this, there seems to be power in worldly things, materials, experiences, money, all of that. As long as all of that is there, this may not seem that it happened. But when you're squeezed, you know what the mind would really love? The mind would love that you forget about everything I've said today. Okay? It would love that. 'No, it's just like a bad dream.' Okay? Because most of us, before coming to satsang, we have a comfortable-seeming conceptual relationship with God. You have an idea about it. When you're really troubled, you may pray a bit. You know, it's like a wish fulfillment or assistant, sort of a super Alexa or something like that. 'Jimmy is in trouble, please help me.' I mean, it works. It's like anything; if it doesn't work, you'll never happen. This is the kind of relationship that we usually have.

Now I'm telling you that there's a greater reality: that your very presence, your Atma, is God's presence. So God is living as a living presence within yourself. But if you don't find a valid reason to forget it—it means that you don't feel that I'm lying or crazy or deluded or foolish—then you must not let your mind obscure this from you. I have told you that God is living within yourselves. Is that not worth exploring? What if it was true? If God's light was truly within you? Suppose you heard it from... like Krishna appeared and told you that the light of God is within your heart. What would you change about your life? Not outwardly, but inwardly. If it was true, what was true now? What would you be worried about? What would you desire? What would you resent? What would you be proud of if you realized the greatest and the only existent is within your heart?

And if I also told you that not only is this light of God's light the creative light of this universe—that means within this being all these perceptions appear and dissolve—but also that our true guide and comforter, the Satguru presence, is always available to us? And all true insight and love, self-knowledge and love which is not dependent on events and circumstances, is only to be found here. And all true answers are also only here. And your reality and who you truly are is apparent to you. Self-knowledge is apparent to you only here. Then this should compel you for a complete overhaul of your operating system.

Of course, it is very likely that the mind will hypnotize you again quickly and say, 'Come, come, all this is good for later. Good for later.' Because this battle actually is for time. The mind will keep saying, 'Tomorrow, tomorrow.' You keep saying that. That's what Kabir Ji was talking about. He's not talking about homework. This is the reality. The mind will keep postponing it till tomorrow. 'You can find yourself tomorrow. Today you finish your emails,' or 'Today you finish your work,' or 'Today you finish on whatever.' And soon it will be game over for this life. There is no better time to wake up than now. Wake up. Find that which is unchanging. Stop chasing that which is dying anyway, because you have a chance at eternal life. You will have a chance to discover the eternal life already within you. But you have to be willing to risk everything. You have to be willing to risk a worldly death. It means a letting go of all our attachments, to empty yourselves for this grace to unfold in your life.

If you remember the name of God, then we can find a home, a permanent home at the Lord's feet. And Bhagwan said yes, but how do you know that this is not that last one? Does anyone know? So that last moment thing is not a postponing tactic, although the mind can make it out to be. We never really know. Will we wake up tomorrow? We don't. When will we remember God? And now that hopefully I've made it beyond the question of belief and remembering, but the question of true insight, now that most of you have a taste of God's light within you and it's not just a conceptual idea, you really have no excuse. Because before that time you could say, 'But I don't know. Is God even real? This is conceptual.' But I'm showing you and you are finding now. Provisionally, you made things worse for yourself by coming here. Before this, you had excuses. Now the light of God is apparent, and then these shadowy temptations are apparent. And you as Consciousness are playing this game where you've given yourself this choice. You cannot deny this choice from your reality.

I'm not expecting perfection, and neither is there perfection here in this expression either. But I am expecting integrity, honesty. I'm expecting a willingness to let go. And that willingness and openness is enough for me. There are only two sets of terms by which we can live. One in which we call 'my own terms,' but actually those terms are mind's ideas about what is the right way to be, what are the right things to do, what you should have, what you should not have. Nobody can say that 'I produce these thoughts' or 'I can predict these thoughts.' They come to us; they appear to us. So that is the mind's proposal. And the other way is to live in God's will. This, although it is very simple sounding, it's very important to see: is there a third way? Is there a third way?

So either the mind is saying right, wrong, do that, don't do, want, don't want, all of these things, and there's an intuitive way. It is not emotional; it is not of the world. Is there any other way? And if there isn't any other way, then how is it that that which is more original to us, which is our presence, our being, our Atma—we don't call that 'my way.' We call the mind's way 'my way.' Some voice makes a phone call to us and says we must do this, we must not do that. Because if it was you, why would you need this voice to talk to yourselves? But that which is more intimate, it is prior to this, the presence of being. He said that is not my way; that is to follow God's will. So I'm introducing you to the true way. It is in your heart and there is no point denying the fear. This can be a bit scary because the mind will scare you and say, 'But what about this and what about that? What about my job and responsibilities and money and all of that?' If it is auspicious, if it is good, then it comes from God. There is no other determinant of auspiciousness or goodness or badness that we have. The world has tried for many, many centuries to try and determine based on empirical knowledge to determine right, wrong, good, bad. We still feel miserable. So if you trust God to be the determinant of good and bad, then God will guide you towards that which is full of grace and full of light. But if you say, 'Yes, I surrender to you God fully, I am surrendered to you, but don't touch my relationship or don't touch my job,' that's not a surrender. Then you just...

The world has tried for many, many centuries to try and determine, based on empirical knowledge, to determine right, wrong, good, and bad. Would he feel miserable? So, if you trust God to be the determinant of good and bad, then God will guide you towards that which is full of grace and full of light. But if you say, 'Yes, I surrender to you, God, fully. I am surrendered to you, but don't touch my relationship or don't touch my job,' that's not a surrender. Then you just made a boundary for God. So basically, then that becomes a favorite pastime, which is to ask for a God-assisted life and not a God-dictated one.

So, what is it that we want? We want the God-assisted life? So God is the assistant because we have the power to decide what we want, but God should help us? Or a God-dictated one, that God is the only true intelligence and He can determine what is best? And I have told you the way to follow God's will. You know that most spiritual people that claim that they are spiritual or religious, for them, God is a servant. You don't realize because it seems like that is the right thing to do. We want to live life on our terms and we want God's assistance or service to us. I'm telling you that it is living God's will. Come, and that is the way of freedom. Please take it fully, literally. And possibly we'll end with this: At the leanest, it's not broad enough for two of us. If there is God, there cannot be me. And if there is me, there cannot be God. True, there is not room enough for both.

To God, then you fail myself and you're integrating your question. I mean, you feel failure there. So surrender the desire to God, and then you pick it up again. Yes, okay. Just reminded me, I mean, is that thoughts and that part, but then from our side, what we have to do is that we have to repeat the entire thing again. There is nothing else that we can do?

Yeah, it's moment to moment to moment. The hypnosis of the mind is available and God's light is available. That's all. You don't have to plan anything big or long-term. It is right now. What is it? You don't have to beat yourself up, make yourself guilty and unworthy. Often I have talked about the one-two punch of the mind. The one punch is 'Come, come,' and the two is like, 'Why did you come? You should not have done this.' The same mind then becomes the judge. Neither of those. The instant you spot that you're living in the ego shadow, return. Gradually, when the cycle is done many, many times, maybe that desire just gets softened. Your job is just one: in this moment. We will go. None of your business. But you have taken a task percent. That's not as a victim, right?

Okay, suppose you have the intention that this mind trick gets me often, so I'm going to give it up. Yes. But can you give it up over time or just moment to moment?

Every moment. So if you keep returning to the checker guy saying, 'Oh, you're doing well' or 'You're doing badly,' that is the temptation itself. The evaluator part, we have to just... you notice some, you know in your heart anyway, we notice then how things... there's no point saying, 'Oh, but I decided.' The self-beating upon yourself is not easy. Nothing is. Evaluation, tracking—that's my job. All right? There's a child in the classroom; they don't have to evaluate their own exam. Your thing is this: moment to moment, and just keep showing your perception. The rest is my job. Otherwise, it becomes... the checker guy is my arch-nemesis, you know? This is so. He is the arch-nemesis. She will take everything I'm saying and someone converting it to oppressive. What I am saying is meant to free you, but it will take all of that and say, 'But Guruji says...' He'll be oppressive to you. Exactly, you see? So it becomes a new form of mental oppression using spiritual language.

Exactly.

So now I'm saying to you that this one is very tricky because it will use everything I'm saying. So suppose I say, 'Now do this' or 'Don't do this,' it will take that and start checking you on that. So I don't want its assistance. Just my saying and your hearing is enough for me. I will take care of it. So I don't need your mind's assistance just to help. Then you will be free from the spiritual oppression of the spiritual ego, because the spiritual ego is the heart enter. Is it? 'Yeah, I am pure awareness.' Oh yeah? And then that itself, those conclusions itself will get taken when your partner, girlfriend, husband, whatever, fights with you or something happens that accelerates, shaken up. And then he'll say, 'See, you're actually... I'm good what awareness? Forget it. You don't even know being.' Like, don't ride that roller coaster at all. Don't care about an A-plus and don't care about an F-minus. Don't care.

It will seem like you don't know how to live for a while because you're so used to being oppressed with this. All of us are so used to being oppressed with this constant evaluation about ourselves, about others, the world, that for a while it will seem like the ground got pulled from beneath you. 'What is this? Is it good or bad?' Nothing here. Empty. But then you'll start living in your heart more, where nothing is so aggressive and yet it can guide you very beautifully. So, don't make a plan for the rest of your life. In this moment you do it. In this moment you do it. In this moment you do it. When you get time into the picture, then it will become part of the narrative. So I don't want the narrative. I want you now. Guruji, but 'I am' has the evaluative heart also. You need to... the instant you take time to be a reality, evaluation is bound to happen. If you invite Hulk Hogan into your house, you will get smashed away. So don't do that. If you take time to be here, then you will be bound to check how you're doing. If your kids didn't know Undertaker, now we will. That's okay. Usually your eyes give you that. Okay, so what did I understand? Are you getting this?

I got it.

No, that is itself and you know, empty.