'Why' To 'Who': A Guided Contemplation - 30th January 2023

So if it is your living insight that you are this eternal being, this holy presence—at least I have not met one so far who is left with the 'why' question after that. And the 'why' question is not difficult; there are many answers which you must have already read in spirituality. I can repeat one of them, it's fine. But more important is this: have you truly found that your being is an eternal one?

There are times I agree, there are times I can't.

But agreement and disagreement is based on concept. Like you see something in the news, you say, 'This government is like this, I agree with this anchor.' And sometimes you have said, 'Sometimes some actions I am saying more clearly.' Then you are sitting on the ground right now. Even more truthfully than being able to report that 'I am sitting on the ground right now,' can you report that you are the eternal being? This is why we gather in Satsang: to make the spiritual concept into our living experience. Would you prefer answers to the intellect's questions, or to discover this reality about yourself? If at all it is a reality. To put it another way, this very being, this very presence, is actually the presence of God itself. I don't know what you've heard about this, but many will define this as Atma. I may not agree with that categorization all the time, but let's go with that. So if it is a true possibility that you could find this light of God, but you have to be empty of the limiting identity that we call the ego, would you be open to it? It's asked in the sense that you can fill your cup with God, but the cup has to become empty.

Really, you and God are one? Yes, but you have to be empty of all of this knowledge. If I am claiming 'me' as ego, then won't you be again filled with like the ego in the name of God? I will also tell you how to be empty, but will you be willing to follow?

At least I want to try.

That should be fine. So let's start with the simple experiment. Maybe this could be the end of the whole experiment also. You are here now. One of the perceptions which are part of this 'hereness' which comes and goes is that which we call thoughts. Yes? Now tell me if you can report about who that 'you' is without buying into the notion that a thought is bringing to you. Who are you right now without relying on a thought?

Let's make it simpler. So who are you right now? And you can rely on... okay...

You're absolutely right that we're not able to put a label on this clump of food unless that label arises from the thought. So what is it? What's your name according to your thoughts? Is the name for which one, or who? It's okay. You can see this body; that is what is referred to in the world as Ananya, okay? Now, do you feel like the object and the reference to the object, which is the name, do you feel that captures your entirety, or is there something more to you?

Definitely there is something more.

That definiteness is based on what? Like you say, going all the way to the museum to see the picture of Mona Lisa is not worth it, definitely it's a waste of time. You could say that only after you've seen it, no? Experienced it. So when you say definitely there's something more to me, what is that based on?

Practicing feedback.

But let me put all of that in the bucket of hearsay. Like you've heard from your friends about the Mona Lisa, it's like not so big, some have said it's stamp-sized, it's not worth the time. What can you directly see without feedback, learned knowledge, books, other Masters, and whatever? Not about that, about yourself. That is just a metaphor I'm using. You said 'definitely.' I love that answer. Definitely there is something more to me than the body and the reference to that body. So it does not encapsulate me fully. There is definitely something more to me than that. I am just asking what the definiteness is based on. Is it just learned knowledge or is it more than that?

It is what is empathy. I like Krishna. I like your T-shirt too much. Probably my conversations... have you had an experience of yourself as something more than that?

Yeah, I'm also a classical dancer. I do get a different vibe when I perform certain dances of, say, Devi and Krishna. I wonder why.

Why? What happened? It's a rush of... exactly... it's more of, I think, spellbound. So the body in itself, in all its learned knowledge, could not create these experiences for you. There is something like a greater intelligence which, if you chant Devi's name versus chant Krishna's name versus chant Jesus' name, a different flavor, different taste of divinity. What is that intelligence which does this?

Essence of the story that I've heard of it.

Yeah, but I have a feeling that a lot of the things that you could know conceptually, you already know. Now your heart is longing for a direct meeting with reality. Just stop me and correct me wherever my feeling is wrong. So in your coming to Satsang, we want to make not a video with another bunch of concepts, because for that we can just give you a book—read this. But we will make an attempt for you, which you may have an inkling or maybe even some intuitive insight about. We want to make that like an insight, Atma Gyan, which you can actually rely on. That is the attempt. Now there are two approaches you can take. One is the one you just took, which is to say, 'Hey Mr. Mind, what do you think about that?' And the second approach is not to go with that at all. Try the second way; it'll be much, much more fun.

Let's look at that. I'm immediately asking for a lot of trust because it's very difficult to follow someone you just met and he's saying, 'No, no, don't go with your mind's interpretation of what is being asked, just go from a deeper place which you may not fully recognize.' So, but something in my heart feels like I can say something like that to you. Where it takes us, I'm still not asking what you think about it because, you know, I've been sharing Satsang for almost 12 years now and everything mostly I feel like everything the mind has to say in response to all my invitations, I have a decent sense about it. But what's music to my ears is if you respond from a deeper place even though you may not fully recognize that it's there. Not this one. You see? You see, he's starting to spot the difference. Yeah, yeah, very good, very good. And that itself is beautiful to see—that beyond the concepts which my mind has to offer, there is a deeper source of insight. And that is very important. Most spiritual seekers remain on the journey of seeking because they are seeking with the wrong instruments.

So when you come into spirituality, I feel like first what we must be told is what not to do. So the 'what to do' part is to implement 'what not to do.' Actually, the Sages have tried to tell us over and over again, but maybe we just need to meet someone who can just reinforce that. So what is Vedanta 101? It is that every perception comes and goes, and that which comes and goes is not real. That's the fundamental. So what it is really saying also is that to find that which is real, you cannot rely on your perceptions because every perception comes and goes. No perception. Then the Sages have told us that whatever you may think you see, you may think and think and think, but God will not be captured in your thinking. All cultures in some way or the other have told us about the inability of our mind and intellect to grasp God. And ultimately, even if this sounds like bad news, if you evaluate the opposite—which is that the mind and intellect can grasp God like a formula or something—that God would not be worth it. You know, who wants God as a formula? My mind could understand? You don't want that.

So, perception not possible, thinking not possible. So these are the wrong tools to undertake the journey or the search or the endeavor for God. These are the wrong instruments. Just like you cannot use a weighing scale to measure the size of this room, you cannot use your mind and you cannot use your senses to find God. Now my question to you is: what else do you have? Also perception, feeling also you perceive. You can perceive the difference; the energetic construct of anger is different from the energetic construct of fear, is different from the energetic construct of lust, is different from... you can perceive these, you see. So these are perceptions which come and go; you cannot rely on them. Even thought is a perception which comes and goes, but there's a reason why I especially call that out. And we'll come to that in a moment. But the question is: what else then, besides perception and concept?

Intuition.

Very good, very good. So in the discarding of the traditional tools for empirical observation that we use in this world, for a while it will seem like, 'But this is all I had.' I could either understand through what I see, because the world says 'seeing is believing,' or I could understand because a credible source has told me and I have a concept of it. You see, sometimes there are counter purposes. Are you sitting? Is this Earth moving or is it stationary with respect to us? Generally speaking? But our perceptual experience of it is that it's completely flat, it's completely stationary. So why do we say moving? Because we have a concept that has come from our credible sources; teachers have told us, scientists have told us that it's moving rapidly, that too, right? So we buy into that. So it's not always that seeing is believing. Sometimes when we have a concept of something, we can override our senses based on that also.

So Atma Gyan, or the recognition of the eternal being that we spoke about, is not possible through perception or by thinking. That's why I kept saying 'keep your mind.' There is something called intuitive insight, called heart knowledge, Satguru presence—whatever term you want to use—that is the light onto our reality. Now I will propose to you that anything that is truly valuable, you know it only through this knowledge already. Like if you truly love someone, like children, siblings, whatever. You truly love someone, you may say, 'I conclude my love for them based on the feeling that I'm experiencing,' you see. But you don't. Many times, especially if it's a sibling, mostly with parents also, all these kind of things, what you're feeling, you're experiencing is your frustration, irritation, anger, you see. Until somebody says, 'Okay, tell me really if you love them, or do you love them?' 'Yeah.' How do you know? So that's a clue. Love, unconditional love, is a clue. And I'm not talking about the worldly love which is wanting, owning, desiring—not that kind of love. So how do you know love? Is it based on the thought? Is there, 'Oh, I love this one'? Is it based only on the feeling? Sometimes it's even contrary to the feelings. So how is that love known? Isn't it? And it's independent of perception and concept also.

So I'm just introducing this faculty which everyone has. It's universal, you see. But in the world it has been fully neglected, and that's why people struggle for so many years to try and find God, because using the wrong instrument you cannot do it. But it's coming actually... okay, good. So what else do you know in this way? You've got the difference between the intuition I am talking about and what the world usually calls intuition, which means some ability to predict or some nonsense like that which we are not interested in. That which tells you about true love, unconditional love—that is your intuition. What else do you know like that? Okay, let me throw you a difficult one right off the bat. In that same knowledge, in that same source of knowledge: were you born?

I'll ask you a difficult one again. That which is aware of the perception of the world—that is your reality. Can you confirm this? That which is aware of the perception of this world, that is your reality. See, you stay with the intuitive insight. Remember, there's no right or wrong, no rush. Can you confirm that that which is aware of the perception of this world is your reality? Is your intuition telling you 'no' or is it silent?

Silent. But do you know? Tell me more about this intuition. How are you experiencing just that feeling that commands you without any logic or learning that you've had in the past?

Okay, stay with the same intuition. Who is aware of the perception of this hand? Is that me? Perceived? That me is perceived? Tell me in what way. What are its qualities or attributes? Perception means at least one quality, one attribute. I asked whether that 'you' which is perceiving this hand, that itself can be perceived.

Can that be perceived? Perception... glass and... yeah... so that 'me' is perceived? How? What is its quality? Like for glass, I have to say, 'Okay, this sort of transparency.' This is my life to say, 'Okay, there is color and beads, physical qualities.'

Exactly. So tell me about any quality for this 'me'. Two of you. So tell me like a physical characteristic... will come through the nature of that moment... bubbly, round? Yeah, with that you're saying your body is perceiving this hand, right? Like I said, physical attributes, mental attributes. Yes, you asked me to name the things like that. So, okay. So if you had a dream tonight, there would be a different body. Okay? Now, would the perceiver be the same or different? The one who perceives the dream and the one who's perceiving the waking state? Does that change? It doesn't change. But the body was different. So what will you say about the one that perceives? Like we could be having this conversation in a dream. It sounds as absurd as a dream conversation, let's admit it. Yes. So suppose this is that dream. Now, which body is perceiving this hand? The dream body or the one that is sleeping? That one. So it's not this body that's a dream. And now what can you conclusively say about that body? What can you now say? Color, shape, size?

No, you always have a dream where you are this body only.

Exactly. So you can't conclude anything conclusively. It's like the King Janaka story telling his Master: 'Master, I am very confused because I had a dream that I was a butterfly, and now I'm back here. But now I'm really confused whether I am the butterfly having the dream I'm the King, or if I'm the King who had the dream that he is a butterfly.' So what can you say conclusively about the one that is perceiving this hand? What can you say conclusively about the one perceiving the hand? This is worth contemplating. Because if we spend all our life and we go with the presumption that 'I must be this one because this one is here,' you see, then that is not a true search for truth. Our search for truth must have more weightage than that. So don't go with presumption. We must be able to come conclusively to an insight of who I am. Only after the 'who I am' is apparent, then we can bother with the 'whys', the 'whats', the 'whens', the nature of God, why God does like this—all of that can come later. But isn't it first primary to have an insight into what we truly are?

Yes. How exactly? In my case it happened that I have stumbled along various stupidities which I call spirituality in my time, and then thankfully by God's grace I reached my Master's feet and he showed me. So we are suggesting you find a guru and they have to reach... know who you are?

That is already done. You're already being pointed to who you are. Now the question is whether you follow. And it doesn't mean that you have to say, 'Oh, who is my Guru?' None of that is important. Let's go back to the measurement of a... who can give you a credible report on whether the Mona Lisa is worth it or not? Only one who's had a true insight about it. So through God's grace, through my Master's grace, all this that is being shared with you is on the basis of a true insight, not on some scriptural speculation or conceptual understanding. So you've already met such a one. Now is your move. You will have to... I have already said one part, which is that you have to be empty and be open, which primarily involves not to go with your conceptual judgments as they come. And they will come very strongly. If you continue to be in Satsang, they will come strongly; they will resist what you're hearing with every bit of power that they have. Because the mind's job is to present this realm of perceptions as if it is real. But using the mind, in a few minutes you're not even able to determine whether this is a dream or this is the waking state. That is the extent of what our mind's confirmations are like; they're very frivolous and we keep switching them based on seemingly credible authority that we meet, you see.

So I don't want to give you new conceptual knowledge, because you go to someone else tomorrow, they'll give you another set of conceptual knowledge and maybe their expression will be really strong or something like that, and you will switch. But I want to give you a true insight into what I have found. That is what I'm offering to you. But you will need to let go of any pride, arrogance, conceptual understanding, reliance so much on the mind—because this is what it means for the cup to be empty. Basically what I'm saying, to put it simply, is that you cannot have it your way. Are you okay with that?

I don't know if I'm okay, but I'm going to try it.

That's good enough to start. I actually love it when you can have a very open conversation about this.