All That Is Important Is the Relationship With God in Your Heart - 6th May 2024
Saar (Essence)
Ananta emphasizes that the spiritual battle is won by choosing God's presence over the ego's will, especially when the mind feels most oppressive. He guides seekers to remain empty and trust the Holy Spirit's intuitive guidance.
What we do in the sand is more important than what we do in the honey.
There is no difference between God's name, His abode, His form, and His play.
All that is important is your relationship with God within your heart.
intimate
Transcript
This transcript is auto-generated and may contain errors.
This has been on my mind since last Monday. I joined online and there was this conversation happening around morning—like just as soon as we wake up in the morning—and how to establish oneself in the heart before the day progresses. I've been noticing that many times I chant and sleep in the night, or listen to satsang or something like that, and it almost feels like the more impactful the chanting is in the night, in the morning it's like my mind is in a full state of rebellion. It is such that there are dreams in the morning, and it doesn't matter the content of the dream—it could be the most ordinary event in the dream—but the dream has this kind of grip that it almost takes me quite some time to shake it off. I'm like possessed by the dream, you know? Even when I start, I have to kind of shake it off. But to you, I've been really struggling with trying to establish even to be able to chant. It feels like this complete refusal from within the head. It's like I'm in that very powerful grip; 'grip' doesn't do justice. It's that old...
That's why it's the most important to try. The idea is—I've said this a few times, I don't know if I've said it to you in satsang—but I've been saying often, and I feel it's a helpful pointer: what we do in the sand is more important than what we do in the honey, you see? Which means that when things seem to be oppressive, when things seem very difficult, when the world seems very real, when God's presence seems very distant and it almost seems pointless—it almost seems like it's not going to happen, so what's the point, let me just do this later—you see that? I've often said this battle is about time, you see? Every moment in time. So our job is to try. We cannot control the outcome. We cannot judge the efficacy of the sadhana also with the outcome, you see? The outcome is all up to His grace, so we cannot judge that. But it's very important, even if it feels like a wrestling match first thing in the morning. Nobody wants to wake up to a wrestling match, but you would rather have that tussle right up front in the morning. Otherwise, what will happen is that your day will play out in the grip, like you called it, the chungle. So it's important to free yourself from this chungle, the grip, in the morning; otherwise, you carry it with you throughout the day and then you will get others also in the chungle of the ego of this. Because when you are like that, how are you with others? The same grip then is what they engage with, isn't it? And then what happens is that most of our brothers and sisters in the world are as it is in the grip of that egotism, you see? So when you go without carrying the shield of presence in your heart, then that is also bound to impact you because it spreads, you see? Just like His light spreads, but also the world's darkness is very compelling. Maya is very tempting. So don't worry, even if it feels like a struggle, better to give some time to it—20 minutes, 30 minutes—and just the attempt is enough. Does it feel like after attempting for some time it starts to ease up a bit and you can remain empty, or it varies?
Really, there's no pattern to it. Sometimes it feels easy, sometimes I'm just not able to access anything at all. I have also been... so I had read the exact words of the Atma Darshan prayer some months ago, and I couldn't engage with it at a feeling level almost until last week. I would read it and then go away from it, and then it felt like it just struck a chord on its own last week. Every single word feels so beautiful and so pertinent. I heard that one long video about the Atma Darshan, and I heard you speak about the words in detail—you know, how there has been resistance to 'sinner' and 'have mercy'—but it's feeling just so right and just so on point. So I've been doing that. I would otherwise just do a lot of mantra chanting, but I've been doing this also now. I'm not able to do mantra chanting because that's feeling a bit too intense and so exhausting. So yeah, I'm really kind of marinating in the prayer and it's just feeling very nice.
It's very good. It's very good, because to see the contrast—see the contrast of our life without the Holy Light in our heart and with the Holy Light in our heart, you see? And that contrast we realize is when we go with our will. So a way to look at this life of satsang is that we are coming to Oneness with God. That is why it's Advaita, no? A Oneness with God. So is a Oneness possible without a Oneness of will? You cannot have Oneness without a Oneness of will. And when we start to notice that when we take on our egotistical will, our individual will, then that life is a big contrast with the life when we are empty of our individual will and then therefore open to His grace. So when we start to realize that we still fall for our judgment, our will, our conclusions, even in spirituality, and we start to notice that this is where we fall for our right, then we are taking on the discipleship of the Atma deeply, to truly want to surrender our individual will. From there we notice that there are these vasanas that get in the way, so we make a prayer to God, you see? We say to God, 'Please don't turn away from me, don't focus or don't give any power to my sins, just focus on the fact that I want to be with you truly in my heart. But because I forget and your Maya is compelling, you see, that's why I keep falling for it. But trust me, I don't really want anything from here, I only want You.' In a way, when that intention becomes deeper in our heart, then these words don't seem alien anymore and they seem very natural for us to carry them, to use them, to ask for His grace, ask for His mercy. So I'm very glad the prayer started to take root.
It was helpful when a child sent a very stunning message to me, and I was almost in tears reading that. She said to me that because her eyes are a bit weak now, she's not able to read—and she was an avid reader and writer—but she's not able to read anymore. But she said, 'How fortunate that I'm not able to read anymore because I can do the prayer all day.' It really touched me so deeply because I love to read as well, and to have that kind of trust in God is so beautiful—to be able to say 'how fortunate, how fortunate I'm not able to read anymore.' It really touched me. Very beautiful, very happy. So things that are spiritual, things that are of spirit, only seem to deepen within us in the discipleship of the spirit itself, in the Atma itself. So these are good signs that you're starting to surrender yourself to the Holy Light within yourself and it is deepening.
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And it also feels like that I still so many times experience... like it just happened day before yesterday. I had two or three days of feeling so disconnected with everything, almost like numb and frozen. And I'm randomly scrolling something online and from nowhere the image of Devi, whom I worship, just appears. There's absolutely no logical reason for her image to appear. So it's almost like she appears and kind of calls, like, 'Come back,' you know? And that is just so humbling. I then I just feel like dissolving in her feet, that she's coming and saying, 'Hey, come back, you're lost.' And then immediately it becomes accessible again. So it's so non-intellectual an activity and it's just pure grace, you know? It just feels so... I feel so grateful.
It's very good. That means you've started noticing the nudges that God is constantly sending our way, that she is constantly sending our way. The Ma is reminding you. And I'm sure it happens to all of us in some way. When we are starting to get distracted, we may feel like God is not helping us, seeing what's happening in our life. But I've seen that once we start to notice, we see there's so many reminders, so many nudges. And that's why often I say that if you were to just follow the nudges from God, then we don't need the slaps, we don't need the shakeup, we don't need the suffering. Just when we get nudged by God, just to return to our heart. Otherwise, we can go on being the prodigal son, you see? But in this case, the Father is constantly sending us messages saying, 'Come, come, it's safe to come back home.' We'll notice this more and more. How beautifully just your very topic of contemplation, the answer will come. It's just what you've been learning in your heart that seems to be taught on the outside as well. So when I say that our life gets fully transformed, I really mean it like that. I really mean it that it is possible to live in two different lives in this one seeming world, and literally the difference is between Heaven and Hell between the two. So very good, keep deepening like this, keep remaining open like this. And it's very good to see that you're going beyond your intellect and trusting that this is faith. To accept the unexplainable, to accept that it is an act of God, is already a leap of faith, and may you deepen in that leap of faith more and more.
I feel she's been very gracious and been around for some years now. It feels like sometimes, what have I done to deserve her presence in my life?
Exactly. There is no answer to that in the sense that there is nothing that any of us have done to deserve her presence in our life. In fact, we could not. If there was something, then the bar would be too high. What makes us worthy enough for God? Who is good enough to stand before Him, to stand before her? That is why it is important to remember that we are not that great that we deserve to meet, or are entitled to meet God. That is why her mercy is needed. We spoke about this, that we are very blessed that God does not do justice, He does mercy. Because if God did justice, then who knows?
I need your blessings. I'm traveling for the next month, and it's going to be full crazy family scenes. It already feels like for me to access the space inside my heart becomes difficult in the presence of people. For me, being in the city means living a rather quiet, simple life, but to be around family a lot is quite overwhelming. I feel like I need blessings to kind of access this and be in touch with it as much as I can. So I will now come in June after today, go for a month.
And you're not going to be able to join online?
I will try to. I will be in the US, so the time zone will be different. I'm hoping to be able to join at least once a week just to kind of dip in, you know? Just coming here or even joining online feels like I've contacted that space inside myself. So I'm hoping to be able to.
Full, full, full blessings. And may you remain in His presence, in her presence, as much as possible as much as you let go of your individual will. And you remind yourself while you're away. But the word of caution is that just remember this interaction when you come back. Because a lot of times what happens is once anyone has been away for some time, then the mind starts to really make inroads: 'No, no, I'll start next week, let me catch up on my work this week, I'll start the week after that.' Then it becomes like a gym membership, you see? We go and we never show up again after that. And then we feel that after it's too long, then we may feel like, 'No, no, no, now how will I go? What will he feel?' Don't do any of that. Just come.
Namaste, Father. Namaste. Namaste. Just one moment, I'm trying to get that mic.
Just feeling so lost. As I'm hearing satsang, something wants to pretend I'm not, and I just want to expose: I am just completely feeling lost and totally in Maya's grip and aware of it and can't get out. And then sometimes it just says, 'Oh well.'
After that, and then we feel that after it's too long, then we may feel like, 'No, no, no, now how will I go? What will he feel?' Don't do any of that. This, come.
Namaste, Father. Namaste, Namaste. Just one moment, I'm trying to get that mic. Just feeling so lost and as I'm hearing satsang, something wants to, you know, pretend I'm not. And I just want to expose: I am just completely feeling lost and totally in Maya's grip and aware of it and can't get out. And then sometimes it just says, 'Oh well, you know, here we are.' And the courage and the fight to stand in what I know is true is just lost in the momentum to just go with the flow, which is here around me, incredibly busy. And something just sort of tips over and goes with that momentum.
I even posted I was at my wits' end this weekend. Speaking of, sister was just speaking about family, and when I was sharing the Chalisa with the grandkids over, you know, it was my way of like putting some kind of stake in the sand and saying, 'No, this is what matters to me.' Because it's like just being around so much chaos for such a long period of time isn't part of my nature, and I married that, you know? And so I just, during visits and family visits, I just completely lose it. It drains me. It takes me days to recover. I forget everything.
So I'm very happy you came up then. I'm very happy you came up because it is my job. I'm here to remind you that anything that may happen on the outside, of course it compels us, the mind weaves narratives around it, but nothing appearing on the outside ever makes God inaccessible to us in our heart. So let's try now.
Well, now is easy. But if now is not accessible with, like, six screaming kids and people asking things and needing to take care of things, then doesn't that mean I would give me kind of like failed the test? I mean, now is easy because the circumstances are easy, but when the circumstances are hard, I'm out. I cannot describe to the extent I am completely out to lunch. Like, yeah, it's two different people. I'm just trying to keep up. And it's ego land: wanting to be liked, wanting to be accepted, wanting to fit in, wanting to be sure everybody has what they need. You know, comparing myself to my husband who's like a golden retriever of energy, and me who would be happy not to speak another word for the rest of my life. It's basically like having five grandchildren putting on wetsuits at 50 degrees and raining outside, wanting to go into the swimming pool, you know? And I'm just like, 'Can I just listen to something, go into a blanket?' So I mean, my point is that failing the environmental test, you know? The circumstances are auspicious, I'm fine. They're not, I'm in the tanker. Like, yeah.
Okay, so let's go with that. Let's go with that approach and say yes. So suppose that in two hours' time you will be in the midst of all of this and all this Maya is being perceived by you. You have no escape, none of that. So that one, that Shraddha is going to be there in two hours. Let's see.
Whatever the time period, it makes me want to cry, hide under my bed.
Yes. So now we must try, because this Shraddha is fine. This Ananta seems fine at the moment as well. So how can we, the two of us, help that Shraddha who's going to come in two hours?
Does locking the door count?
No, cannot. Okay? Because what will happen is that Maya will find a way even within the doors, no? And you had some experience of that in the past. So we must not feel that it's really about the outside. So the best way, in fact the only way to help her, you see, is to immerse the both of us as deeply in God as possible now, isn't it? So it is not... so remember the mind trick which tells you, 'Now, now, no point now. I know it's going to be easy now. No point because now it's going to be easy. It's about then that I'm worried about,' you see? Because then it's going to be very difficult.
But for whom does it not remain difficult? All these situations, for whom does it seem to get easier and easier? Only for those who, when they are not in the grip of this Maya and this narrative, then those then are fully immersed no matter what in the times when times are not so compelling on the outside, isn't it? So you may say that a sage may go through these things without any impact. They may seem to be completely inward even when all this is happening on the outside. So why can't I be like that? Why can't I be like that? That may be the question.
The only difference between then that paradigm of a sage and you is that in this time you're not thinking about... the sage is not thinking about that time. They are feeling that in this time, I am so free to be completely with God. Thank you, God, so much for giving me this moment, this minute, that I can completely be with you. So don't waste this time for that which is coming in the future, because this is the classical one-two punch. It makes these things, then it says, 'Oh, what's going to happen later?' That is what is important now. Now is okay, you see? Because we made probably we made some sort of a test out of it instead of like an oxygen out of it.
Like if you were a fish underwater breathing oxygen underwater, then you would not say, 'What's the point of me breathing right now because in two hours I will be caught by the fisherman anyway?' You will breathe now.
Yeah. And even as we look more deeply, I can see there's some kind of belief it's being held on to that it's like, 'I should be better.' There's like, I compare myself to my husband, 'I should be more like him. I should be able to be like all of you,' you know? And that's the hook that I'm believing that's sticking with me and creating this like guilt and...
Yeah, so empty yourself of this 'me'. Don't identify with this 'me'. In that emptiness, you remain empty for God and you can live in His presence, live in His light. So don't identify. Don't take yourself to be the body-mind. Remain empty of these notions. The world is just a dream appearance which is here now; it'll vanish tomorrow. All our identification and effort towards this dream will not get us anywhere. We may become the best one in the dream. You may get the trophy for most liked, most loved; all of these things may happen, but it's all going to go.
All that is important is your relationship with God within your heart. All that is important is the audience of One who witnesses our life. And to live in this way, we need to empty ourselves of this 'me'. Don't identify. All the other questions in our life, all the other questions in our life must be kept aside, and our only question should come about whether we are empty for God, whether we are praying to God, whether we are in service to God. But 'how I should be in the world', 'where is my life going', even 'am I doing well spiritually'—all these ideas must be kept aside. Otherwise our mind will make us, will surround us with problems, seeming problems which never existed.
What is the best way to suffer? Try to solve non-existent problems. So either they can be God or they can be a problem, isn't it? Is it so? When you're trying to solve in our heads, we have given up faith in our hearts. See how much time we waste on solving non-existent problems and then at the same time we say, 'God is the one doer, He's the one experiencer.' We can be very Advaitic in our concepts but not in life. He's the one doer and one experiencer. What are you solving? For whom?
So anything that takes you away from God can never be godly or spiritual. So don't involve yourself even in spiritual problems in the sense that sometimes we start, we pick up like a philosophical question, it seems spiritual and we try to solve it in our head, as opposed to contemplation which is advised in satsang, which is to remain empty and allow the solution to reveal itself intuitively. So we many times replace our thinking about spirituality to be this kind of contemplation, which it is not. Keep solving, keep getting answers in our head—it doesn't help because these questions really cannot be answered intellectually, you see.
What is the nature of God's will? You may think about that, then you can do some searching online. Some philosopher said this, some saint said that, some sage said this. You say, 'Ah, okay, okay, good. Okay, good. Okay, good.' It's good to hear those pointers, but if you just store them as concepts thinking now you have understood the nature of God's will, you haven't. Because the true understanding of things which are godly are only in the heart, only intuitively. So at best the words are just roadmaps, are just pointers. Use them like that.
Because what will happen is that after you understood a lot conceptually, you may think that, 'Oh, but I should be beyond Maya now because I understood so much.' But Maya comes and says, 'Okay, let me show you here. Let me send you to a family wedding.' As Baba Ram Dass said, anytime we feel like we are very enlightened, we should spend a weekend with the family. We just have to remain empty of identification, and whatever identification remains must be in servitude to God. But if you make even spirituality about you, then it'll be like running on a treadmill.
And so and that happens. It comes about feeling better.
Yeah, yeah. In a way it is also like that: getting attached to the sweetness of God's presence rather than God's presence itself. Although it's not directly what you're saying, but many times it can become like that. Once we get used to tasting the love, the presence, the sweetness in our heart in prayer, then the mind says, 'Yes, that's actually very nice. I love the prayer, you see? Let's go get that sweetness.' Then you go with him, 'Where is that sweetness? Where's the sweetness? Where's the sweetness?' And you haven't mentioned God once. So it can take you away from... even the byproducts can take you away from Him.
But if you can become like Arjuna, one-pointed, only the eye of the fish is visible, only God is important, then all that comes and goes can be enjoyed but not attached to. So it doesn't matter whether I'm feeling on top of the world or I'm feeling like I'm really suffering. All that matters is whether I'm in God's light or not. So make that your oxygen, not 'nice to have'. Think that oxygen in the sense that if you don't have oxygen and you have the greatest throne in the universe, is that going to help you? You have the biggest diamond, Koh-i-Noor has come to your house and you can live the life of the best luxury, the best things in life, but you have to give up on oxygen, you can't breathe.
So literally take God's light, God's presence like that. And if there are times where you feel like you can't breathe without Him, those are actually very auspicious times. So the saints have spoken so much about the vyakul, the restlessness to be with God, like the restlessness to be with our beloved. And we would have crushes, infatuations in school, then even school was seeming worthwhile those days, no? So you rush to get into, run inside school so you could get a glimpse of your beloved. But this true beloved in our heart, you must not find any way to stay away from His presence, His light.
Yes, there will be time in the future where we will fall for Maya's tricks. It is bound to happen to all of us. So what is the best gift that this one can give to that one? What is the best gift that present Shraddha can give to future Shraddha, if there is any such future? But all our problems are presuming that there is. So if you go with that presumption, what is the best gift I can give to myself for the future? This moment with God, rather than this moment with ego. Mind says, 'No, no, you solve that first. What will you do about that time? Think about it.' I mean, suffer with that rather than be with God. This is the way it tricks us. Don't fall for these tricks. Can be with God now. What better, what better can you do in your life than be with God now? And then you'll see that this is bound to seep in. It is bound to seep in everywhere. And you may go through... it doesn't have to happen this time, but there will be a time where all this outward activity...
The ego mind says, 'No, no, you solve that first. What will you do about that? Think about it.' I mean, suffer with that rather than be with God. This is the way it tricks us. Don't fall for these tricks. You can be with God now. What better, what better can you do in your life than be with God now? And then you'll see that this is bound to seep in. It is bound to seep in everywhere. And you may go through—it doesn't have to happen this time—but there will be a time where all this outward activity and much more may happen, but you remain in your heart. But for that, you have to just use every moment that you're not in trouble, not getting caught up in the mind, to stay with God.
And I heard you singing. Yes, you can so easily return to your kirtan. You're singing the Hanuman Chalisa. His blessing makes the biggest trouble, the biggest situations in our life, into nothing. That is why all the troubles, all the sorrows in our life can be taken away by him in an instant. Nothing at all. He was even for Lord Ram the one who can take away Lord Ram's troubles in the world. If we are invoking their presence, we are singing the Hanuman Chalisa. I also love that the Chalisa was a reminder to Hanuman who he was. Such a beauty for us. I was so touched that you listened.
Hanuman Ji is like the Guru of Gurus. He is the Guru of Gurus because as the most beautiful embodiment of devotion, he's so full of love for God. And in that love, the highest truth is not alien to him. He knows very well that he is completely one with his Lord Ram, that there are no two. And yet, in the world play, he leads his life with so much servitude to God. How blessed are we that we can invoke his name? We can invoke his presence. Know that as you call him, as you call any aspect of God—whatever resonates in your heart—like this invokes some of us may invoke, some of us may invoke Hanuman. All God. The aspect doesn't matter. But to invoke with the faith and the innocence of a child, saying that in my invoking, God is here. That is what we are deepening in. That is what we are deepening in. The name of God and the image of God all must be such beautiful reminders of God's presence in our heart. And there will come a point where it's not doubtable. Not doubtable.
Look at the beautiful story of the saint Shabri. She didn't feel like the idol of Krishna was an idol of Krishna. She didn't feel like it's a murti. She said, 'My Krishna is here.' So we must not feel that the name of God is separate from God himself. I said this the other day also—I may not remember fully now—but it is said there is no difference between his name, his abode, his form, and his Leela. Can you meet such a statement? So some of you may find it silly, and maybe it is silly, that I love to watch these Ramanand Sagar shows, all these shows. And if you were to look at these shows critically, you'd say the acting is quite mediocre, the production values are quite alright. But you must not watch it like that.
Like when I was a child in the village, I would visit my village, and they would have these Ramlilas, the play depicting the life of Ram. And the point is not to—because women were not allowed to participate in these, so all the roles were played by the men. Even Sita Ji, Mandodari, all men were playing all these roles. So you go over there, but the point is not to say, 'How is this one acting? How is that one acting?' It is just to serve as reminders of God, to learn something from the life of God. But more importantly, to feel like you come in the presence, you are watching this play out in real time. But most importantly, that his presence is being felt in your heart. And it is this Guru within our heart, this holy presence within our heart, who in his grace leads us to the highest recognition of the Self.
So we must never become proud that 'I have Atma Gyan, I had an awakening experience, I saw that I am That.' By whose grace did we see? Can anyone produce this insight for themselves? You may do 'Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?' for ten million lifetimes, but if it is not the Satguru's grace within your heart to reveal its own source to you, the Absolute reality to you, it will not happen.
Father, one of the pains is that recognition has come, and when something is in such a direct fight with it, knowing how precious it is... I just wish to share that because how could I be more chosen? And I'm not saying that in an arrogance, it's just something implanted in a heart which is what makes it so painful. And it's very extreme. The behavior is very extreme when something just pushes against that, like a different person, you know? And it hurts a lot more because I know how precious in a way it is.
Good that it—that contrast hurts. That contrast must feel like you just picked up something too hot and you must drop it immediately. It must feel that hot, actually.
Yeah, but something likes it. I can't lie and say something likes it.
Yes, of course. I'm glad you said it yourself, that something finds that also in a weird way. The comfort zone is to be in a sort of lamentation, this distractedness. Yes, it finds some satisfaction. And yet, even when it is liking that distraction, it is making itself spiritual by saying, 'Oh, but really all I want is God.' You see? It becomes this duality, this thing. And then that seems like it's big trouble because it doesn't want to escape that in that way. So that's why I say that just when we notice, it's good to notice, you see? Otherwise, we just become proud. So it's good to notice: 'I became caught in this Maya. I got caught up in some thought pattern, some belief system.' See, it's good to notice that, but then we must drop it. We must drop it.
And as the contrast is deepening for all of you, you will drop it many times. It happens still where we take some provisional steps in the right direction, maybe, and say, 'Okay, now I got caught. I don't know what to do. Why do I keep getting caught like this? When will this end?' You see? All of this. And hopefully all of that is leading towards the emptiness and remaining with God. But my prayer, my blessing for all of us, is that we learn how to just—when we fall down, we just get up. We fall down and we get up. Like children. We don't think about, 'Oh, why do I keep falling? When will I get up now?' You see? None of that. Because over and over in every Satsang, we notice that actually to return to him by his grace has been made so possible every moment. That is that getting up which is available to us all. It needs is the focus to switch away from 'me' to God.
So notice you fell, just get up. Something at some point also enjoys like an ego, our mind enjoys lying down on the ground saying, 'But really I wanted God.' Okay, then come. Because you know the mind's lamentation—and I'm not saying this for you, I'm saying for you and all of us—which is that it says, 'Yes, it's much better with God, much better with God, but can't I take me along? Would that be the best?' So this 'me' wants to be there to be the achiever of God, to be the recipient, the claimant of God.
And I feel that all of you, at least those who've been in Satsang for some time, have at least one or two potent tools now that you've picked up which you can really use and be empty of the 'me,' you see? And the mind, it acts in this way. How many of you feel like you have no tools like that that you can really use? Make the useful defense: 'Me trying to be empty of the me.' When you try what is being offered in Satsang, then that whole thing vanishes. The whole paradigm is no longer 'me trying to remove the me.' Whether you are praying, whether you are inquiring, whether you're remaining open and empty, whether you're not believing your next thought—all these pointers are designed to keep the mind's intention, to keep the mind alive... they are designed to overcome that. So don't let the mind fool you and say, 'But if you inquire or if you pray now, wouldn't that be the me trying to get rid of the me?' These are subtle things. Of course, the sages who offered them to us realized very much how they will be used, and yet they are potent enough to make us empty.
One of the most often repeated questions I used to get when I started saying, 'All you have to do is not believe your next thought, that's all,' then this question is very popularly asked: 'But who? Who should not believe the next thought?' The same one that you are troubling yourself with. Start this follow. Of course, it is Consciousness, but initially you may not recognize that it's Consciousness. But you have to follow. You are noticing the mind, noticing how it can just block you, just block you from following with innocence because that very thing that you heard in Satsang itself is used to block you.
Father, yeah. So a question about when a nudge is coming from God or whether it's kind of the checker guy or the 'me,' just what... how can I say? Like the motivator. What strikes like fear into my bones is coming back again, this not being the last life. And I know that that's an attachment, but the recognition that how long has this gone on? And do I remember any of those other families? How long are we doing this? And sometimes it feels like it's a positive thing, like 'get serious,' you know? And other times it's, 'Well, wait a second, is it just creating a bunch of fear and actually distracting me from this quietness inside?' But I just want to expose that, that that's like the most terrifying thought in the world. And when I start getting attached to things, I just stop for a second and I say, 'Wait, wait a second, how many times, how many roles have we played?' You know? So I'm just wondering if that's a help or...
Yeah, it's very interesting to watch this question. So there are some of us who've been in Satsang who've been exposed to the Indian way of spirituality, the Buddhist way of spirituality. So we are conditioned to say that it's very important to come to the end of this transmigration, this cycle of birth and death, and it would be the worst thing to come back. For others in the world who are not exposed to this, they may feel like, 'So what are you saying? Death is final? It's final? But I want to live.' So reincarnation and coming back can seem very hopeful to some, you see? That it's not ending, I'm going to come back. And then there are other possibilities of having an eternal life, but not here, but in the Kingdom of God, in Swarga, in heaven, whatever you want to call it. There are other ideas, possibilities, like it is said that we merge into pure awareness and empty of even all Consciousness.
Now, my humble suggestion is that we don't worry about any of this. Don't worry about any of this. Only the possibility that I can be with God now. And if I don't leave him, he never leaves me. And that is true throughout my life. And when I die, then I have nothing to be worried about. Whether he gives me another life, another million lives, as long as I'm not leaving him, you see? And it doesn't make me forget this over and over, then it's fine. Or whether I merge completely into him, or he gives me another realm where he is seated on the throne and I'm at his feet. That is all up to his grace. How I merge into him as the Nirguna, which is what I truly am, and I never experience the Guna nature again, the nature of any attributes again. I'm not saying I am unconcerned, but I'm learning to be unconcerned because as long as I'm seeing that as long as I don't leave him, he doesn't leave me, it should be all right.
That's exactly... and I'm liking these two things, I'm putting it together. Like the idea of another incarnation means a separation from God. So as long as that separation doesn't take place, I don't care.
Suppose that you came back as Hanuman. Yeah, no problem. No problem. So yeah, so whichever way he keeps me, I'm happy, as long as he doesn't tell me to leave his presence. That's it. And remember that every single potential, every single possibility, is an existent reality within Consciousness.
That's exactly it. I'm lighting these two things, I'm putting it together. Like, the idea of another incarnation means a separation from God. So as long as that separation doesn't take place, I don't care. So suppose that you came back as Hanuman? Yeah, no problem, no problem. So yeah, whichever way He keeps me, I'm happy, as long as He doesn't tell me to leave His presence. That's it. And remember that every single potential, every single possibility, is an existent reality within Consciousness. So we are not speculating on whether or what happens, or which one of these possibilities is actual, because everything that can be fathomed as an actuality is projected within Consciousness as an actuality. So you can experience the fruits of it here and now. Yeah, yes.
So when we—yes, if you were to get involved in then speculating that if all of this is possible, what is my end outcome, that can also then become a distraction away from His glowing light in our heart right now. If it is with you, then what's the problem? No problem. And full trust also. Full trust that if my intention is truly true, to be with Him, to be in servitude to His presence, and that's how I want to live this entire life, but in His justice He gives me a million lives of separation—who am I? Who am I to doubt that or to counter that and to say that He's being unfair? He knows. Trust. He knows best. He knows best. He definitely knows better what to do with whatever remains of this 'me' than this 'me' can ever do, ever can.
Hello, Father. Hello. I didn't speak to you for very long. I don't even know if you—
Of course I do. Of course I do.
Um, yeah. First of all, thank you that you give us this opportunity. This is like an anchor, even if I don't watch all the time, and sometimes I can't and sometimes I don't want to. Yeah, an anchor, of course. And yeah, and one reason is, um, yeah, I was following Mooji and then you for a very, very long time. And then at one time, because I was something doubting in myself, doubting if I really—yes, somehow I measured somehow. And then I talked to a friend of my mother, and she's a very old lady but very wise. She's a psychologist and she translated the Bible, and she's like very Christian. So she wanted to translate it because she said it's very important to have the real words, what she thinks, of course. It's like very—yeah. And then I talked to her, and she's very loving. And then I talked also about my past because of this spiritual journey, and then she asked me about my 'I'. What am I, actually? She asked. And I said—and she said to me, 'You lost yourself.' And then I said, 'Ah, okay.' And I said I was asking the right question, but she had the feeling that it's very heavy in my case. She said although that's a different path, like the Buddhist path is very—and the Christian way, or like—yeah.
And um, because I also said, yeah, it's about being empty. What is you? What is the thing that you follow? And it has to be open and empty. She said, yeah. And also that this life is not—and then I couldn't even talk like this because I thought, 'Oh, this is not my words. This is all Maya and it's not real.' And suddenly it was not true for myself. It was not true. I couldn't say that. Yes. And then I said, just because we write letters now and so, and she said, 'This is the Christian way. Maybe you're more—the goals maybe are very similar, but the way is very different.' Yeah, it can be very different. She said, because of how you're very sensitive and you easily connect with people and so, she had the feeling—she never said it's like this, she never said—but she had the feeling that I'm hiding out. That I go back to emptiness and I just don't want to feel it all. It's too much. And she said, yeah. And it's true. I did that a long, long time because it was too much and I thought, 'It's not—ah, and I feel good and oh, chill out a bit in the emptiness.' But it's a very heavy emptiness. And then, but now actually, and somehow in between now, because through her also I understood you differently. And what you said now somehow also answered my question already a bit. But because saying that this world is not real—somehow I don't know. I don't know if it's not real. She said also maybe it's to build the heaven on Earth here on Earth. So maybe it's this, like to be really here and really work and really love. I don't know.
It's beautiful, beautiful contemplation. And you must look at it. It can seem very different, but I have to say that everywhere I look, it seems so, so similar, if not the same. Like when Jesus tells us that the Kingdom of Heaven is within ourselves, the Kingdom of God is on the inside, then even in that there's at least a mild categorical difference being made of a higher place which is beyond this realm of perception. At least there must be more reality in His kingdom, in His presence, in His light, than in this visible realm of perception. And as long as we are focused on that within ourselves, so there is so much—like the Holy Spirit is exactly how it is mentioned in the Bible, is exactly how I find the Atma within His presence. And David said, 'May your presence never leave me and may your spirit never be taken away from me.' And how Jesus said that He is going to request His Father to send a new advocate in the form of the Holy Spirit within ourselves. This undying presence of God who was present right at Genesis through this moment here today, that is the same one that we are learning to become disciples of. So we are coming to the stewardship, the discipleship of the Holy Spirit, whether we call it the Atma or the Holy Spirit or the Satguru presence within. The words, the semantics, are not that important.
But that Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, which is the Nirguna Brahman, the Saguna being, and His presence as the spirit—the three-in-one God, which is one and yet three—is very, very similar to Vedanta. Vedanta, although it seems like it is just pure non-duality, but if you look at the pointings of Advaita, the whole categorization of the Nirguna, the Saguna, and the Atma, this is very alike. So to be empty of ourselves, to be empty of 'me', is very biblical as well. I'm sure we can find enough references to that. Many times it is spoken about remaining empty of individual will, empty of ourselves, especially in Paul's letters to the various churches which were just being formed. He often spoke about this. Of course, the terminology may not be exactly the same, but as I hear it, I don't sense much of a difference, you see.
So I'm very happy that in whichever way you're finding a way to turn to God, and whether the world calls that Christianity or Advaita or Buddhism, none of those things are really important to me at all. I don't—so I'm very reassured to hear that even when you're not in satsang here, then at least you're contemplating God. You're contemplating deeply the nature of His light, His being, His presence. That is the important thing. It doesn't matter what worldly situation you're in, and whether you say you're part of this satsang or that satsang. Every satsang really is meant to just increase the discipleship of the Holy Spirit. Every satsang is only meant to bring more and more to the Satguru presence, the Holy Spirit within. And as long as you're remaining in that Holy Family, the expression, the grammar of spirituality that you resonate with is not paramount. It's not that important, you see. As long as you feel like you are getting the right tools to come to God's light in your heart, to let go of the original biblical sin of following your own terms, your own will, and being empty of that, and being a true bhakta in your heart, a true devotee in your heart, which is full of love and servitude to God, that is what is important.
I, in fact, am enjoying this—all the rivers that lead to Him, that point to Him in their own beautiful expressions. I'm enjoying so much deepening, exploring, tasting all the different tastes. When we don't approach God through the lens of our intellect, you see, and we are heartfelt about this, intuitive about these things, then you see that there is so much love, so much peace, so much joy in all of the paths which lead to Him and all of the true sages and masters who point to Him. We are reading a lot of pointers from the Greek Orthodox Church, for example, and they are talking about taking the prayer within various layers of our being, the nous. And we found that the Sufi teachers are also saying it must go through all the layers of our being, and they call it the nafs. So one is calling it the nous, one is calling it the nafs, you see. And in India, when you go to an Ayurvedic doctor, they will say, 'I'm checking your pulse now to see what is the state of your inside.' That is the nadi. But in Indian spirituality, some of the teachers we are hearing, they are talking about praying with our entire antahkarana. Antahkarana means all the layers of our being within, which is exactly the same. So even in the method, there's not so much difference. But I bless you that you don't leave God's presence, His light, to turn—you don't forget to turn towards Him in whichever way. No, no, no, go ahead.
No, I don't. As only with His will, I won't, because I feel myself actually very weak, I have to say. And so I find my way through somehow, yeah, some anxious states. And of course, this is my main anchor. And as you see, she says it's the thing to reconnect yourself with this—she doesn't even say God, it's like, or the source.
Source, where—yes.
And she's also—because I also know you like her a lot—it's Teresa of Avila.
Yes, I love her. I feel like The Interior Castle is one of the best books that I've ever read, and such a beautiful road map of our inner growth and our inner journey. And that's exactly what I was talking about when I was saying the very—so when the Greek Orthodox teachers, for example, talk about the prayer of the heart, she calls it the quiet prayer, which is wordless and in the heart. We call it an open and empty or wordless prayer to God. So I feel like there is only one spirituality, actually. Right from the beginning, there's only been one spirituality. And anyone's report that you read, whether it is from thousands of years ago or from just recently, if you just put the semantics aside and get the essence of what they're saying, everyone is pointing to the same thing in very similar ways. So we can enjoy all this love for God in so many different forms and not worry so much about what is it actually—is it like that when these people say like this, but is it like this? No. Just the main thing is to remain with His presence in our heart, then all this will take care. But I love what you said in terms of noticing that our eyes are very weak. And I can say that about this one also, this man who is sharing satsang often forgets God, often loses his way. Every day there could be many times where that happens. So it's only His grace, His mercy, that keeps us on track, and the Master's blessings and God's blessing that keep us on track. So that humility is very good, to know that we couldn't do this by ourselves.
Do this, sorry. And one more thing is that because I think what she wanted to take me out of my imagination, because you can also imagine a lot. Yes, the whole thing that, 'Ah, now I'm very deep.' And she wanted to make me—it was actually good because I understood also better your satsang, actually better. Ah, for a time, honestly, I couldn't watch it anymore because I said—I only heard, for me it was only phrases somehow suddenly. Yeah, yeah, this was my perception, not what was said. And I'm sorry, but I never want to—
Not at all, not at all. In fact, I don't many times understand why any of you come, actually, because I'm just sitting and mumbling a lot of nonsense. I don't know. So it's completely understandable. And I also hear you in the sense that Mooji—
Your satsang, actually, it was better. For a time, I honestly I couldn't watch it anymore because I said I only heard—for me it was only phrases somehow, suddenly. Yeah, this was my perception, not what was said. And I'm sorry, but I never want to—
Not at all, not at all. In fact, I don't many times understand why any of you come, actually, because I'm just sitting and mumbling a lot of nonsense. I don't know. So, it's completely understandable. And I also hear you in the sense that many times it's just the mind is just attacking us, so we are not really able to hear the words or understand that aspect also. But I have no delusions that I'm sharing a pathway to God really well or something like that, and I'm sure actually that there are many, many teachers, many devotees of God who are doing a much better job of this. But I just find so much joy in sharing His love.
Yes, and you share it really. I feel so much this love. I really feel it a lot, and this really touches me a lot. This I feel totally. This is coming through all through the screen by thousands of kilometers.
Yeah, all His grace. Whatever little happens is by His grace alone. But you know, it's so beautiful, isn't it? That Jesus came and he reminded us in the same way that all the incarnations of God have done—which of course your friend may not agree with me on that one—but that's what I feel in my heart to be so true. Whether it is Ram, Krishna, Jesus, they all reminded us that the temple of God is in our heart, the kingdom of God is in our heart, within ourselves. And we don't need anything external to be with God. We don't need anything from the world if our love for God is there.
And he said something very beautiful about like the leaf of the branch; when disconnected from the branch, it can just be lifeless and floating. But when connected to the vine of life, we are the branch that is the true life. And that is so true in my experience, that a moment away from His light, a moment away from His presence, can seem like such a disconnected, fish-out-of-water way to live. So may He bless us all that we deepen in our connection in our heart to His presence, to His light.
I'm so glad that God finds a way to send the right voice we need to hear. Whenever we get away from His light, He sends someone to bless us. He sends someone. Even Kha was saying that she found this very beautiful uncle who talks about—who's a father, who's a priest, I'm not sure, I'm forgetting—but who talks so beautifully about God and His love. So she's finding great help even in that. So God is helping us in so many ways, and we must not ever worry about which is the right path. Is he the one? Is this the one? He will show us. If our love for God is true, then He will not abandon us. He will keep showing us the right steps to follow, and help is always available. He's constantly sending us help. So I'm very glad you're taking help from your friend and she's pointing you beautifully. So happy to hear from you. Thank you so much.
Okay, let's go to K. Hello.
Hello, Father. Thank you so much for this presence. I'm sorry, I have to spoil it with—I want to expose something.
You have to spoil it? How about we both decide we will stay in the presence and we won't spoil it, and we allow everything to move from there, from within that, instead of spoiling, as you say? Thank you for that.
Yes, true. Thank you. Yeah, it's very important to remember that nothing ever gets resolved without His presence. So nothing ever can get resolved without His presence. Nothing ever can get resolved or fixed without His presence, without His light. Yeah.
Yes. So sometimes the mind tempts us and says, 'Yes, of course His presence is important, but I have something a little off-topic here which is important that I need to fix.' But that is a trap, because there's nothing ever that can be fixed by leaving His presence. So don't fall for that trick. And I'm open to every question, but I'm not open to the idea that we ever have to step out of His holy presence to resolve anything or to contemplate anything together. So you notice the trick, isn't it?
I see what you're saying, yes. And I could also—because I put my hand up earlier and then I dropped it—and I could see this play like going with the mind for this exposure thing, and then deepening in the heart, and then going a bit. Yeah, now I noted. And interestingly, I guess around my children and their—I guess it's also around their happiness. And I see their happiness only in that, I guess. And I'm so, so happy to see Anna so joyful and so light. And yeah, she's such a blessing.
And I also see this desire in which—it's understandable—and I see an interest here in satisfying these worldly desires. And while I know God is the most highest choice, yeah, I'm still then sometimes I see myself even making some plans to satisfy this desire. And I also see some sort of attachment or belief in Anna needing this funding from the Australian government to act as a family and needing this support work system. And we tried it, and I know what's being offered here where we live now. It's, I think, maybe only chance in a way. Well, I don't know, but let's say it's the highest chance. And it brought so much light and joy in her heart and in our family because we are not restricted now to think of the human being as someone who needs certain degrees or knowledge or certain abilities to do things in the world. And I just want to cut these attachments, I guess. And I want to ask for your grace and help, I guess, to cut these attachments so that I don't make wrong choices.
Okay, okay, very good. So the question is about decision-making. How do I make sure that I'm making the right choices for my children?
I don't—it's not necessary to make a choice because I don't want to make a choice right now and I don't have to.
You don't have to.
It's more like how to stay open and empty, I guess, for what He has to—for His plan, instead of building a plan based on my own projection. Very good, very good. It's through the way times when I maybe struggled with choice, but right now I feel it's more like staying centered instead of even building, like giving room to these projections that can build the house.
Yes, my dear. But okay, so this is all sounding very good to me. No trouble at all. Just know that your heart, His presence, can also guide you, can also communicate, can also convey a holy plan for your life. So don't feel that all can come only from the mind. The greatest intelligence which is running this universe and also is taking care of all of this, all of us foolish children, like the most loving mother and father—He is the one who is doing that and can do that. So He can also guide us as to how to lead our lives and how to be the best, most loving parent for our children, you see?
So it was all sounding very good. I just want to avoid any sort of danger of you sort of feeling like it's some sort of like open and empty, some sort of just trance. This can sound like that to the mind, yeah, some sort of like a trance state. But even in that dramatic representation that I'm doing, great intelligence is still breathing this body, is moving this head, is doing all of that, isn't it? So that same intelligence can run our life, can guide us as to how to run our life. So your endeavor to remain empty is good as long as you don't have any idea about what empty is, because that idea about what empty is will keep you from being empty. Like I often say, that if you're being open and empty, then you're not being open and empty. It has to be empty of even that.
Well, yeah, it's good because it's impossible to say even that I understand. This instruction cannot—it can just be followed.
So yes, I get the inarticulation response because that's the right response, because we can't really understand it. How to be open and empty without being open and empty? What is he saying? He's lost it! But you can follow. You can just be open and empty without being open and empty.
I just ask for grace because—and I also, well, maybe I invite His grace in any sort of projections in my being of where I have to be and also in dissolving these resistances I have.
Yeah, but keep the focus on Him. Please keep the focus on Him. Thank you so much. Keep Him at the center of both your eyes. Not one eye on me and one eye on Him, otherwise it can get very confusing. If you keep one eye on the 'me' and one eye on Him, that becomes very lopsided. Then you're constantly, 'What's happening? What's happening?' But if you just keep the focus on Him and faith, with trust and patience and courage, life will unfold auspiciously. There's no option but that. Of course, our mind will not agree, but that's how it is.
I lack faith and patience, Father. And when He doesn't give how I want, I rebel. We have tantrums.
All of us are learning. All of us are learning. All of us lack patience and faith; we are learning.
I rebel with arrogance.
All of us. All rebellion against God is always arrogant. It can't be anything else. 'I know better. I know better about how my life should be run.' I don't know why I'm crying. It's just it feels to cry.
One child said, 'Beloved Father, the cross I was blessed to send you was bought in a place called Cappadocia. Cappadocia, where Christianity started to grow and the churches were found to teach by St. Paul. May his grace and love, dedication for Christ, be fully with you, bless you and surround you, fill you, for you are such a great spreader of God's presence for all of us and beyond. I love you.' Thank you, thank you. Such a sweet message. Love you so much. Yes, she says you just mentioned about him, and the first time I came to read about him for the first time in the Bible recently.
How is it possible for there to be such love? He's been coming for so long. He doesn't speak any—or from whatever I've seen, he doesn't speak any English or understand much English. And yet he comes to most satsangs. What the love for God can do to us and how these heart connections can get made beyond the barriers of language and communication.
Hello. Thank you for picking up. Thank you, Ananta, for this satsang and all the questions they brought up; they are resonating here. There is so much egoism coming in the last time and it's really most of the time 'me and me and me.' What is the outcome for the person? And once Georgie asked to pray the EDS for someone else, and I prayed it for my father because it's more or less a hate and love relationship. And it was so difficult at the beginning; I could hardly pray it. And it's coming better. After two weeks, it's a little bit better. And it's my question also: should I ask him if I can pray for him when I feel this resistance?
If you feel like—if you feel that from your heart you are being guided to ask him. Otherwise, there's no actual reason. We don't need permission to bless, to pray. But if you are being guided by your heart to let him know of the same, that you've been praying for him, then only then. Okay? Because we may pray for all our brothers and sisters in the world and we may all say that may all be blessed by His holy light, by Atma, by Atma. We may pray for these things for everyone. It doesn't mean that we have to ask everyone in the world and say, 'Can we pray for you?' I have a sense of where your question is coming from as well. I get what you're saying. But because you are asking for them to be blessed by God's presence, by His spirit, it doesn't need any sort of permission or participation from them. Unless you feel that if you were to share with him, he will join you in the prayer. Unless you feel that in your heart, then maybe it may be helpful.
One doesn't mean that we have to ask everyone in the world and say, 'Can we pray for you?' I have a sense of where your question is coming from as well. I get what you're saying, but because you are asking for them to be blessed by God's presence, by His Spirit, it doesn't need any sort of permission or participation from them. Unless you feel that if you were to share with him, he will join you in the prayer—unless you feel that in your heart—then maybe it may be helpful. But your heart will guide you about these things. I'm very happy to hear that you're praying like this, in this way. Good. And for the egoism and selfishness which comes so strongly, to pray for him is a good way to overcome this. Yes, yes, yes.
See, because what you're praying for is to be blessed by the light of Spirit. And that Atma, that Spirit, is the true teacher, is the true guide, is the true bringer of light, is the true Guru within ourselves. So it's a beautiful prayer because once you ask for the true teacher's Grace, to be blessed by their presence in your heart, then in that discipleship He guides you step by step, moment to moment. And everything, as long as you are following His light, you cannot go wrong. This play of Maya is impossible for any of us to transcend. We could be the most intelligent, we could have read the most scriptures, we could be the most articulate, but without His presence, without His guidance—the Atma teaching us every moment, mostly in silent teaching, in intuitive insight which is wordless, ineffable—pointing only by His Grace, only by His pointing the way, do we transcend this realm of Maya. Can we transcend this realm of Maya? That is why to come to His presence, to come to His light, is the best blessing for ourselves, for our brothers and sisters in the world, because then they can be guided out of this compelling realm of suffering and pain. It's good. It's very good. Thank you very much.
Very welcome. Let's go to... has come back. Can you hear? Yes, yes. Thank you. I just have nothing special to say, but I'm so happy about all what I hear and I see, and just to say a big, big thank you. And what you just said is so exactly what I feel. And during this Satsang, we reflected about all my experience also. So it feels... I feel... I don't know how to say... such a loving trust is flowing around you and through you and in us. So much gratitude. Thank you so much.
Thank you. It's very good to hear from you.
Yeah, I'm very happy to be available today. And I saw all the Satsang I was missing. I knew each one was a treasure. I knew it. And but I was also... this was such a luxury to be with Guruji and to know... I mean, I saw him not even maybe twice a week maximum, but it was so precious to be in the area, to be there and to see the ashram and to see the people and to be just to be around. It's so, so... and the area is so beautiful. But also to feel your presence was also there and this is so... and what I hear about anything... like I also received today a message from the... and it's like it's the same each time. A huge presence of Him is revealed and as you say, there are so many nudges and more than nudges. Yeah, and so powerful. It helps. It remains. Thank you so much.
Thank you. So good, so good. Thank you so much.