All Problems Are Egoic Problems - 1st April 2022

Let's see if we can take this a bit deeper then. You see, the opposites exist in our intellect. In the realm of perception, it is not like that. See, there is no such opposite. There is no up or down, there is no left or right, there is no good or bad. There is nothing like that in perception itself. These are the deterministic values that we place on—the mind proposes on—what we perceive, and sometimes without even having to perceive. So to become empty of these, to come to the unborn, is to become empty of these. To become open and empty is to not rely on these sort of conclusions. And then what happens? And when this question is asked, you don't have to think about it. You can't think about it. You should just try it out for yourself. So in this moment, when you are empty of the play of opposites, what has happened? What is that of value that you have lost?

Nothing. Nothing's lost. There's a voice that I'm familiar with now that it kind of runs around inside this vast space saying, 'But what do I do? But what do I do?' But there's no belief going there anymore. It's like this, like a closed system that's just going around like this that doesn't really mean anything anymore. But that voice sometimes still arises. In this moment, I can hear something like, 'What do I do?' but there's nothing.

So to come to satsang is not to be able to say that 'I have come to some perfection' or 'I have finally understood,' because these are still conceptual. What is your condition right now? And what perception will you use to conclude that? To determine your condition is like saying that I am able to determine the condition of the universe, and yet we are constantly doing this. There's some little activity thing will come, you see? Something will shake a little bit in that vastness which is beyond space and time, you see, that is aware of this perception. And yet the mind will offer a proposal saying, 'But you are not happy' or 'You are suffering' or 'This must go.' And in that proposal, it is inherently selling an idea of a limited 'me' which is so small that it is affected by these tiny movements. And then we buy. Consciousness plays the game of buying into that idea, and then buying into that idea that something is wrong. It has bought into the false idea of what we are. And even when you buy into the idea that something is perfect, you buy into the false idea of who you are: the one that has to maintain it or keep it this way or not. So it is really about what we are taking ourselves to be. The rest must depend on that.

If something is really big, then it depends on what you are, isn't it? If you're a mouse, then what is really big could be a small crevice in the wall. But if you're an elephant, that really would be something much, much bigger, like a huge cave or something. So whether something is really big or really small for you must depend on what your reality is, who you are. So when we say, for example—I hear very often—that 'this really big emotion came, a strong emotion,' see, but big for whom? Or do we take ourselves to be in that? 'This really strong anger came, this really strong grief came.' So is this really big or really small? Indeterminable, isn't it? For what you are, all these things are not applicable, actually. And because right now you're looking at it that way, you're able to see like that. Okay, if this perception came inside your head after you close your eyes, then is it really big or really small? 'Oh, a really big head came inside my... a really big hand came inside my head.' So when these proposals come from the mind, then we sometimes end up believing that narrative which includes an identification about ourselves which is very limiting.

Now, how many of you are okay with not being able to determine your condition and the condition of the world? Okay, so nobody is stuck there. Nobody is stuck. Nobody is 'almost there,' huh? Nobody is 'just at the edge of the cliff waiting to be thrown down, somebody has to push me into the final awareness' or something. Nobody has that condition. Yes? Because you cannot determine that. What is it? Nobody is enlightened, nobody is bound, nobody is seeking anything, because all these are determinations of your condition. So nobody has any of this. Okay.

Now, one of the... okay, one question just gets my attention on the chat before we go to the next one. So one says, 'Pranam Ananta Ji, this is my first ever satsang. Can you tell us what Nisargadatta Maharaj meant when he said that the Absolute, Parabrahma, is beyond I-amness and the Absolute does not even know that it exists? That the real Self is prior to I am. What does it mean to transcend even I-amness? What happens to I-amness or beingness in sleep? Very, very good. Also, how can we see for ourselves that our real Self has no death or birth? Thank you.' Right. It's quite a smashing first question. You're very welcome. If you'd like to come up, you can raise your hand on Zoom and then speak as well. But let's look at this. So let's really make this a workshop instead of just something theoretical. Because I can try and tell you what he meant, and then I can tell you what I mean—all of these things. Instead of that, let's just see for ourselves and see if it is not obvious.

So the first question you can use is: Can I stop being? Just try to stop being. Be. Don't be. Like little children, innocently. I know you all know the answer, okay, but still try it. So, don't be. What happens? You can't stop being. Conceptually you can; you say, 'Okay, it happens in sleep, it happens in death.' But that's not what I'm talking about right now. Don't be. Not theoretically or conceptually, just like that. Just right here. You can't do that. And you notice that there's a presence. The presence of your being becomes apparent when you try not to be. So this presence is the presence of your being. This is beingness. Let's call it beingness for the moment.

Now notice this qualitative sense of being, this consciousness. Just notice. Don't try to deepen it. Don't try to do anything with it. Just notice. Now, that which is aware of this being—are you aware now? Are you aware now? That which is aware is independent even of the sense of being. And therefore, there is a qualitative distinction—not a real distinction, but a qualitative distinction—between even being and awareness, you see? Because that awareness does not even have the quality of presence. It is aware of being, but the being is not aware of awareness. So this is beyond I am. This is beyond sleep state, waking state, dream state. This is you. You say, 'I just woke up in the morning, I just...'

Are you aware now? Are you aware now that you that is aware is independent even of the sense of being? And therefore there is a qualitative distinction—not a real distinction, but a qualitative distinction—between even being and awareness, you see. Because that awareness does not even have the quality of presence. It is aware of being, but the being is not aware of awareness. So this is beyond 'I am.' This is beyond sleep state, waking state, dream state. This is you. You say, 'I just woke up in the morning. I just woke up.' So you were there to see the contrast—not see with sight, but see beyond sight—but see the contrast between the absence of being and the awakening of being, the 'I am.' 'I just woke up.' But you are there to be able to say, 'I just woke up.' See, then there was an absence before this and there is a presence now. So for you, the ultimate reality, the absolute Parabrahman, even the being is a coming in. Even consciousness comes and goes for your reality.

So notice the distinction between these two questions: 'Can I stop being?' Okay, and 'Am I aware now?' And don't give these questions to the intellect because the intellect will make it all crazy and will say, 'But doesn't awareness just have to be aware? Isn't it to be aware? Isn't it awareness being?' You don't have to conclude all this nonsense because this is not an intellectual exercise. Just notice for yourself with your heart, with your intuition. You're not going to get stuck in words. Notice that the sense of presence is a coming and going, and there's an awareness which is untouched by the coming and going even of the sense of being, the sense of presence. And how do you notice that? Only intuitively. You cannot notice that with your attention.

So, 'Are you aware now?' is a very, very important pointer because in your heart you can't deny it. Your head will complain, but which 'I' is aware is you. You, that one. That one that your heart recognizes, that your intuition recognizes, but your mind cannot fathom. And the game of spirituality is not to make that which your heart recognizes something which your head will understand. Until we stop playing that game, then we will continue to play the game of being the seeker, presumably like in the sense that we can presume that we started—we ended up where we started from. Okay, we've taken this example before; maybe both of us have also spoken about it.

But when your dream starts, does it seem like, 'I've just landed up in the middle of nowhere'? So if the dream starts and you're walking and somebody comes and asks you, 'Where are you coming from?' you say, 'I'm coming from home.' 'Where are you going?' 'Oh, I'm going to that place.' You don't start to be with amnesia usually. I mean, you could, but usually it's not your experience that this is like somebody asks your name and you say, 'No, no, I don't know yet, my dream had just started, give me some time.' You're responding to the people who are showing up in your dream saying, 'Hey, I'm this one, this is where I'm coming from, this is where I want to go, this is where I was born.' In the same way, we can't really say anything about once the experience just starts.

Like right now, I could say, 'Okay, what did you hear five minutes ago?' You say, 'Oh, you were talking about "Are you aware now?" or "Can you stop being?"' But can you really say that? You can't say it undoubtedly. Just like a dream could have started with you sitting here, with just having this conversation, and you could wake up right now and you could be telling your wife, 'Yeah, I had this strange dream with Anantaji and he was talking about dreams, you know.' So it could happen, isn't it? You could wake up just now and then you could be telling her, 'Hey, wow, that was freaky, isn't it?' So now, is that a dream that you're having or is this a dream that you have? You can't say. And we cannot say what memory is bringing to us—does it stand up to any test of validity or truth?

So the masters, Papaji says, 'The past is a graveyard, forget about it.' But even if you validate it here, how can we really say that this undoubtedly happened? So truth is coming to that which is undoubtedly true. It is undoubtedly true. So is there a truth which is beyond the instrument of doubting? The instrument of doubt—try to doubt something, where do you have to go? You have to go to your head. Try to believe in something, the opposite of doubt—where do you have to go? Same place. So leave that place of belief and doubt now. What is the truth which is apparent to you? This is all that Satsang is, and I'll say it ten different times for ten different things, but for the moment, this is all there is.

When you leave the instrument which has the potential to believe or doubt, then what do you recognize about yourself? We come to the world and states later, but what do you recognize about yourselves? Have you vanished? I haven't vanished. Then what is your shape? Don't bother with what the mind comes back with. If you hear something you've never heard before from your mind, then okay, expose it. Otherwise, if it's the same old stuff, don't bother. What are we doing without the instrument of belief and doubt? What is your recognition about yourself? And don't bother with anything that you're perceiving. Don't judge your labels, any of that, because the mind will play up, especially in Satsang. What is your recognition about yourself? Are you or aren't you? I start with that. You are. Now, you are what? Body?

Is there something now that makes this set of perceptions more 'me' than that set of perceptions? Is there anything that makes this more 'me' than that? Or the perception even of space, is that less 'me'? Can you find a location for yourself? Can you find a grievance about yourselves, about the world? Can you live like this? Is there a problem living like this? Who can't live like this? Who can't live without you? Okay, as long as it feels like effort to let go of effort, if we can make the effort spoken about—like actually, it is effort to live in that way mentally, you see. Actually, it is like mental slavery, mental oppression. So Satsang is really about coming to the end of mental oppression. And it is that mental oppression which is exhausting, tiring. That is the suffering of the human condition.

This is mental oppression which is the effort. But for a while, because we get used to it—like a prisoner who's just been let out of prison after serving the sentence. For the first few weeks, they don't know what to do, how to behave. All the rules are gone. It's just too free. Yeah, just to feel—a prisoner feels too free. Where are the systems? Where are the lines? Where are the processes? Where are the ones with the sticks? Just like that, living without your head for a while, you will see, you feel too free. Yeah, so you just feel like, 'I need to go back to prison because it's familiar.' And to not go back to prison can feel like effort for a while. It just feels like effort for a while. Make the effort.

But what do you notice when you drop the mind? Is there any problem in your existence? Is there any vital functioning that is stopped? Because the mind will be a fear-monger and say, 'You can't take care of your family like this, and then your business like this.' But you have to try it. Be headless for a day, half a day, something. Try it out before just going to the mind and saying, 'No, no, but it's the real world, in the real world.' So if that is the real world, what are we doing then? What are we doing here? Learning about the unreal? Is that so? Don't let these words 'real world,' 'practical life,' you see, relatively speaking... we use these kind of things to just make categories in our mind and that becomes a defense for the mind itself.

'Oh, ultimately speaking you're right.' No. How many of you have told me this? 'Ultimately speaking you're right, but actually let's get real for a moment.' So you're still making the relative real. If only the real is real, why bother with the relative? Because we still think it is. We still take it so. This just becomes an excuse to dwell in the false. In all levels, the false is false or not? And the truth doesn't have any levels. So this is like an opposition to surrender. You may not have looked at it this way, but the construction of this duality of relative and ultimate, and relative truth and absolute truth, all of this becomes a defense against surrender.

You feel like, 'Practical life I have to run,' you see. 'The rest of my life, spiritual life, God, God can run. And practical, I run.' So it's placing a limit on what God is, can do, or is interested in doing. And the irony of all of this is that our human mind doesn't know how to move a finger. We've taken this example so many times. The conceptual mind doesn't know how to move your finger. Can you move your finger with your mind like that and then say, 'Okay, how did you do it?' 'With my brain, apparently.' Then how do you move your brain? Can you access your brain? So what do you have to do? Activate some of the neurons in your brain? Can you do it? One neuron, can you activate through your head mentally? You don't know how to activate it. And who activates it? The same one that is beating your heart.

The BBC program said that before the thought even arises, actually nerves are getting activated a few seconds before that arises. So which intelligence is doing that? So don't make these excuses for the lack of full surrender. Just dive into what's going to happen, what's going on. Because we are so scared of life, that's why astrology is popular. Otherwise, if astrology was called 'spoilers'... you know, actually astrology is spoilers. But you don't want spoilers for a movie because you're not scared of a movie. 'Don't tell me, I haven't seen it yet.' If your friend comes and tells you, 'Oh, this happened to Batman in the end,' you're like, 'Shut up, I haven't seen it.' Why? Why is that spoiling and astrology popular? Because there's fear. You're scared to meet what will show up.

So we want reassurance that nothing will hurt us, we'll all be fine. Or even if the astrologer says, 'Oh, next seven years is very popular, you know, seven and a half years you're going to have a mess.' Okay, at least I know and I'm going to be prepared for it, for impact. Some sort of seeming antidote to this fear. But what can be hurt here? What can be hurt? What you discover about yourself even in the first Satsang, can that be affected or hurt by anything that shows up in that? What can shake up your being? Emotions may get shaky, your thoughts may pretend like, 'Oh, something's very shaky with your being.' What can happen to you? Your body may be trembling here, but what's happening to your being? Nothing. It's as futile as trying to cut the space.

And that which is aware even of this being? Forget about it. No chance. Not in time and space, not in this universe. You realize what you are discovering in Satsang—that you are not in this universe. What are you taking yourself to be? If there's a relationship of containing, that is you that contains the universe, not the other way. Find the location of this awareness. Everything in this universe should have some coordinates, should have a location to exist in the universe. Where do you exist? Find right now. Find your location. Where are you looking at all these perceptions from? Where are you sitting, standing, whatever? Is it a state that you're coming to with this question? Not a state. I'm just asking naturally: where are you?

So if your location is not in this universe, what in this universe can hurt you? And through what means? And don't believe anything I'm saying; check for yourself. Or what can another experiment like this... where this one, this person is taken into a room where there is no stimulus. All white walls, no window, nothing. And next to that one, there's a buzzer. So what happens is that this one is told, 'Okay, you'll be kept here for some time, but you let us know when you can't take it anymore, you have to come out.' So what happens first is after a while, of course, there is curiosity, so you press the buzzer. When you press the buzzer, you get a proper shock. Proper shock. It hurts. It hurts. 'Oh, not doing that again.' So then you're sitting, sitting, after a while...

Into a room where there is no stimulus—all white walls, no window, nothing—and next to that one, there's a buzzer. So what happens is that this one, I said, 'Okay, you'll be kept here for some time, but you let us know when you can't take it anymore; you have to come up.' So what happens first is after a while, of course, there is curiosity, so you press the buzzer. When you press the buzzer, you get a proper shock. Proper shock. It hurts. It hurts. 'Oh, not doing that again.' So then you're sitting, sitting. After a while, the mind gets so irritated, you see, with the absence of fresh experience, that most people, they actually press the buzzer the second time, third time, fourth time. Can you imagine? Knowing fully well it will hurt you, because through the mind, the absence of new experiencing is the worst.

And we talked about this the other day when we were saying that this notion of boredom is such fertile territory for crazy stuff, abuse, all kinds of things. It starts many times just like, 'I need some other experience.' Now, what is the antidote to that? To that is just meeting yourself. As you meet your being, do you ever feel a lack with your being? It's only when the identification of yourself as body-mind is functioning that you feel like you are not enough for yourself and you need some stimulus, some experience, something to make yourself bigger. You see, what is the craving for experience about? You see, this container seems too limiting—and it's not a container anyway—but the apparent container seems too limiting. So, and something doesn't like that. Even the mind doesn't matter, so it wants to make itself bigger. The mind's project is what? To make itself God in a phenomenal way. 'What can I have? How much money can I have? What relationship can I have? What materialistic object can I have so I can become God-like, if not God itself?' So that is the project. So without stimulus or experience, it finds itself helpless. It doesn't find itself able to do that. Notice that it's almost like withdrawal symptoms.

And here, what is this? 'Take me ahead of my cave, don't take me out of it.' Why do people go to caves? To have this absence of phenomenal experience. So I guess the reason is, until I did those ten days, if I didn't have that experience... so in fact, a lot of people have said, philosophers have said, that the ability to just be with yourself—and they were speaking the only way, not even capitalized—this ability to be with yourself is a great, great power in the human condition. I think even Buffett, and he's talking about not getting involved with fear and greed... I don't think you're going to hear about Buffett in such...

Hello, good morning. Can you hear me? Yes, hello. So, um, just I've been... I've not been coming too often to satsang, which is not that good of a thing. Lately, I've been going through certain hidden emotions, like I've been feeling them. It's very uncomfortable and sometimes I just want it to go away, which is like resistance, yeah, you know. And then I get frustrated at just maybe not being capable of following the points that you give because, like in almost every satsang, as someone else said, like the essence of the point is pretty much similar every satsang, but the way you say it resonates with our particular mind or whatnot. And that is what we can get out of satsang every Friday. But maybe when I'm on my own, I'm not that capable of self... I don't know. So let's be calm, just recall. And I don't know what you can say about that.

Um, like some repetitive thought that I've been having or situation is that, you know, I've been seeking for external approval from people, from situations. And at the core of it, maybe... well, this is an interpretation of the mind, but I want like to be as open as possible with people, as vulnerable as possible with people, like spontaneous. That type of vulnerable, open in the sense of being spontaneous. And in that thing, because I feel like that's what my personality is about, but I'm afraid to totally be open and that's tough. So that is what is happening. So that frustrates me because it's not always the case that I can be very open with people. Like my mind is in the back saying, 'Don't do this' and 'Do that.' Yeah, so that is what is happening.

So, just be open. This is the difference between when I say open and empty and when we usually say in the world 'open with people' or 'vulnerable.' You see, all those may be byproducts. When we are open and empty, then we may become very social, open with people, or become completely asocial and want to go on a cave. Like, we cannot predict these things. So when I'm speaking of open and empty, I'm not talking about relationship with people and how you engage with people. Like many sages, completely open and empty, but with people they're like, 'Shut up, go, get up!' Isn't it? 'How long have you been here? Oh, three months? Oh, you're not getting anything, get out! It's just taking up space.' You know, like that. That's not being open with people, you see? But they're just being open. You're getting the distinction?

So it's not about how you're behaving and acting up with people, whether you're just like, 'I want to hug you and I feel so much love for you and you can hurt me, I'm open.' You know, it could manifest like that. I'm saying I'm not saying that it cannot happen that way, I'm just saying it's not a prerequisite. In fact, for many it can feel like when you become open and empty, you just want to retire to your room or something. And your family will be like, 'Are you depressed?' You know, my family told me a lot. Guruji shared this story, everyone here, just like, 'Are you depressed?' Even Sangha. So many of you heard this. You're just so happy and joyful just with yourself, like just continuing on that topic actually, just being with yourself for a while, and your family says you are depressed, something is wrong. Of course, they don't mean any harm, they care for you.

So it's not about how you engage with people, about how you engage with the world. Just become fully open and empty in your mental layer. Keep your mind fully open and let everything come and go. So that is different. Then what happens is that all these apparent, seeming problems at a worldly level or a human level, you attack them at the root itself because all problems are egoic problems. So rather than, like Guruji says, cutting one branch and then the next branch, the next branch... by the time you get to the tenth one, the first one has grown back again. So it's an endless treadmill to try and fix and sort the human condition. Instead of that, get to the root of all of these troubles, you see? And what is the root of all of this trouble? The notion of somethingness in 'I am.' Till 'I am,' till your being, no problem. And we attack the notion of something else. That is the root of all trouble. You have to be something other than just 'I am' to trouble yourself, to suffer.

So what problem do you want to solve? Do you want to attack the problem at the root itself? And if the problem is suffering, then ego equals suffering. Ego is resistance and resistance is suffering. 'How am I with others once I'm free?' or 'How should I be with her?' and the Guru was like, 'What others? There are no others.' So where are you making a boundary around yourself? So just empty yourself. Empty yourselves of all this. Empty yourselves of all conditions. Now, what are you?

Um, what you're saying is kind of a kind of bad news to the mind.

Yes, yes. Something different. Super bad news to the mind because the mind is a constant problem creator and solver. It creates non-existent problems and spends our whole life solving them, and that is called suffering. What is suffering? Solving non-existent problems. So are we going to cater to it? If it is bad news for the mind, is it bad news for us? Depends on what we take our relationship with the mind to be.

I still feel like it's bad news for me as well. So yeah.

Yes, okay, good. So when you say it's bad news for the mind and it's bad news for me, what is the difference between mind and you?

I don't know.

You are aware of the mind, or is the mind aware of you?

I am aware of the mind.

So that 'you' that is aware of the mind, you see what is happening to it? What is the bad news for it?

No bad news. It's not bad news for that one which is aware of the mind.

Then if you are not the mind, is there a third one also? If there's a mind that is you, there is you that is aware of the mind, and is there another one also for which it is bad news?

Another one? No.

Another one? No. Who is the one that it was bad news for? Sorry, who is the one for which this was bad news? One was the mind and the second was the 'me.' Now who is this 'me'?

I feel like saying that it is the mind itself. Yes, because a moment ago, like I said it's a problem for the mind, then as then I said I feel like it's a problem to me as well, but that was just another thought which was like full with emotion as well, but it was thought anyway.

Yes. So what do we have to fix now? This understanding to stay understanding. What is the meaning of understanding? Many of you say that, 'When will I fully understand?' What do we mean by that? Are we talking about fully believe, like fully be convinced? Knowing in the heart is always fully. Knowing in the heart halfway? A spiritual conviction or some real belief in the idea of what is being heard in satsang? It's not that. It's like, 'I don't understand because...' So then it keeps everything about itself. It's like that pesky relative that makes everything about themselves. 'Something, something's gonna happen,' you see? Like this, everything becomes about themselves.

So mind is like that. It's like, 'Oh, see, now he said don't listen to the mind, but you are still listening to the mind.' It's like that is the mind itself going like that. It pretends to be your spiritual advisor, guide, all of this stuff. But just like as long as it is in charge, it's happening, it can... it's happy to play all roles: worldly, spiritual, materialistic. The mind is happy to play as long as you are holding its hand. Next, other than putting thoughts and we'll see something like that in the next step of mind. Are you talking about present circumstances?

Questions... just become... what is there to ask? An open mind. Become open in it. You know what it means, what I'm saying, that we've talked about? Allow everything to come. Empty means don't allow anything to stay. That's it. See, now when you are not open and empty, there is such a 'you.' When you are open and empty, soon show me such a 'you' that is done. This is the whole switch. Close means to identify. All right, good. What else?

Yeah, I got a lot. Good, good, good. I've got a lot. Like, I'm sorry, what is it? I am... I'm sorry, like I've had a lot to say. Ah, please, please, yeah, yeah. Yes. So the thoughts, like you're saying, like you don't expect any external outcome when going through certain situations, yeah. So, you right now have made a life for me, made it clear. What's the difference? This is too much thought. Like, I just... the feeling of being clear. Just the feeling of being clear, it's not always here.

Okay, okay. When you say 'feeling of being clear,' are you talking about a thought is not troubling you? Is that clarity?

No, no, that is not the clarity I'm talking about.

Okay. Because mostly when we say, 'I was very clear, then my girlfriend came and told me this, then it became all crazy,' you see? 'All my clarity went like that.' But that is like a mental clarity, means thought was not oppressing us for a bit. It seemed to be settled, you see? And then something came and see. So that is not the clarity or certainty that we are talking about, you see? Now what other clarity is there? Can your intuition be unclear or blurry?

Kind of, yeah. For now.

What else can be blurry besides the mind?

Um, let me... the 'me.' So the illusion of clarity for 'me.' Like the illusion of clarity for the 'me.' That was what I said because I sometimes... as intellectual clarity. Intellectual, mental is the same thing. Same thing. Intellectual, mentality is the same.

Yes, that's what I meant. Yeah, so forget.

That is not the clarity or certainty that we are talking about, you see. Now, what other clarity is there? Can your intuition be unclear or blurry?

Kind of, yeah. For now, what else can be blurry besides the mind? Um, let me... the 'me'. So the illusion of clarity for 'me'. Like the illusion of clarity for the 'me'. That was what I said because I sometimes have intellectual clarity. Intellectual, mental—it's the same thing.

Same thing. Intellectual, mentality is the same, yes. That's what I meant, yeah. So forget about it. Nobody can keep your mind clear, okay? Nobody can. Forget about it. You said this often. Anytime you feel like, 'First time here,' you are actually so often... it's like a leaky roof. You fix one side, the other side starts leaking. If that side stays, the stairs have no chance. Don't go into any such... don't talk to me right now because 'I'm fully clear.' Yeah, just like that. In fact, someone reported very sweetly with them, they were so clear and then somebody, their partner or something, told them something and then they became so unclear.

And if I can say this, like I feel like this is that that is here right now. It won't stay. Forget about peace. It's not your problem. Who is chasing peace? Is Being in peace? Is Awareness chasing peace? Is your Being in peace? Even manifest consciousness, is it chasing peace? Whose peace? The Being who is the master of peace, who created... I mean, can a thought actually feel peace? If it was a thought, then the thought is coming, 'Okay, make it peaceful.' Make a thought peace. Can you do it? You can't do it. So who is peace here for? For your Being. Who is love here for? For you. Who is joy here for? For your Being. But by the way, who is anger here? Same one. The same one is tasting all the flavors, salt and sugar.

Now the mind's idea is that it's doing it wrong. The quantity is wrong, the proportions are wrong. 'I should have more peace, less grief. The director is messing up this movie.' That is the mind's idea. That is just not true. This is not your problem. At least not your problem as ego; it's your problem as consciousness, and consciousness has no problem. Okay, suppose both of us decided we should both have a lot more peace. How would we create it? How many kgs? Sugar, rice? What would we have to get? It's not for the false one, for the unreal one, to create something like that. Who can provide it? If peace has to be promoted, love has to be provided, joy has to... if you believe the notion of more or less and providing and not providing, then we have to give the power over to where it belongs, which is consciousness.

Don't try to fix the moment. Don't try to convince the mind or fix it or to make it clear. You just let it be. The top floor of everybody's house has noisy neighbors. That's it. Accept it and move on. You understand what I'm saying? The top floor of everybody's houses is... accept it and move on. Don't try to reform them. Don't try to change them. Don't try to call the cops on them. Nothing. Of course, yes, yes. Because if anger comes and you start worrying about it, it becomes hate, it becomes resentment. The anger is angry. If I get irritated with someone, I want them to come really fast because in two minutes it's gone. There's no holding on. There's no resentment. There's no hatred. Where's this one like that? Yes, it's like in... who produces it? So this pointing is for whom? Get angry or don't get angry. Who produces it?

All right, so who produces it? The mind? It's in consciousness. Sometimes if you take the definition of the mind to be... because these are confusing topics because the definitions are all changing, right? So if the definition of the mind is a bundle of thoughts, and you walk into a room and somebody's slapping your child, before a thought comes, anger will come. Same way you walk into a room and the lion is waiting for you, before a thought comes, fear can come. Yes. So who produces it? It's not the thought, you see. But you need a thought to make resentment out of anger, a story. You need a thought to make guilt out of anger. Like, you get angry; how do you make guilt out of anger? Do it without a thought. You can't do it.

So that's why I differentiate Grade A and Grade B emotions provisionally. Because some are just raw and they appear and they don't need a thought. But pride, regret, guilt, resentment—all these things are a Grade B emotion where you have to work on them. You think about them and say, 'Oh, you have to think about this.' Can you guarantee that if the thought comes that anger will... now this is what happens in the mind's play of cause and effect. You've heard the story in the Yoga Vasistha: the bird is flying, it lands on the branch of the coconut tree, coconut falls. What does the mind say? 'Because the bird landed on the branch, that's why the coconut fell.' Can you determine that? Other things also happened where a child is feeling scared. The father goes to the child and asks, 'Why are you feeling scared?' 'I feel like there's a monster in the cupboard, that's why I'm scared.' The father opens the cupboard; nothing in the cupboard. Child says, 'But if there is fear, you see, there must be something in the cupboard. What is causing this fear?' You see? So it's not as straight a line as you think. We want to rationalize it.

So to find this, again going back to that determinism, we're trying to determine things that we can't determine. Is the child feeling fear if there's no monster in the cupboard? So you tell me, why is the child... this? You observe the need for rationale or rationalizing everything. 'There must be something.' And you fall for the 'why' question. This is what happens when you fall for position. This is what happened. And even a little chance, 'Why am I feeling scared?' then... usually it's... it can be said like that. I won't say 100% for anything. Yes, but you're good and good.

Yeah, I was thinking a lot. There were thoughts a lot, yeah.

That's okay. If there were just thoughts a lot, that's fine. As long as you were not thinking the thoughts. 'Thinking' means the appearance of thoughts and your belief in them.

And my attention... what about attention?

Attention is fine, okay? You see, there were a lot of thoughts because I already can tell it's because of attention. Like, without attention you cannot determine whether there was a thought or not.

Yeah, I would like to get to that point.

No, you first just work on your belief. That's enough. Yes, yes.

I feel better with the 'not believe' instruction. Yes, but that in certain times seemed too simple. Like, this can't be sadhana. Give me something like properly. Then don't believe 108 thoughts, then believe like 2004, like that. You feel like, 'Oh, I'm progressing.' Just leave all that. Become headless.

Um, can I expose one more thing? Yes. So I don't know if this... I've been pondering on the... maybe 'pondering' is not the right word. Okay, maybe. But maybe I've just been thinking like with the belief about how I still hold this illusion of control and how sometimes I see myself as just letting go of that illusion and it's not predictable what will happen. It's never actually, but the illusion of being it off, of being predictable. And then the problem comes like, 'You should be all the time,' and 'You should have all the time being,' 'You should all the time let go of that illusion of control.' But it is scary. Yeah, there are a lot of voices.

Yeah, to be honest, there are a lot of voices. Every thought is a thought. Every thought is a thought, okay? Yes, you know, okay, it sounds like the most obvious thing, but it's a very important point because at some level we are still making a special home for some special thoughts, and those are the spiritual ones. For a spiritual seeker, every thought is a thought. Don't fear. Don't fear. Nothing true can be taken away from you. This special showcase of special concepts—throw it to the floor and let it burst. Just come to full innocence, full open. Don't start knowing too much because I remember you came as a smaller baby, actually. It looks longer, that's like two to three years back. So open, so innocent. Now this, like, spiritual guy is trying to take over. So let's demolish that one today. Every thought is a thought. There is no thought which is not a thought.

Yeah, yeah. Like, like this all was very important, was very... like that's what I hoped to be true, held to be true.

Don't hold any belief to be truth. Hello, hello, hello.

Yeah, um, I just wanted to come up to show myself and yeah, and actually I wanted to say something. I was holding on to something you take all the way and yeah, now I'm... I can see that.

That you're quite empty? No, but now that you're on the hot seat, so to speak, yeah, just like, come on, let's come up with something. This is empty.

Yeah, well, what comes up is... um, there were several times with Guruji and also in Monte Sahaja, and one reason I when I came now also to don't miss a chance to... because I was hiding a lot in front of Guruji. I was very scared. And um, and I never told him how much I love him or... and now I... and I want to tell also you how much I love you.

Love you too. Thank you. And yeah, and Guruji loves you so immensely. I don't feel like anything about being scared in front of you even. Have you seen my photos next to Guruji or something? Shows up like that. Well, don't make it a thing that you have to solve. Yeah.

This is what I'm doing sometimes because I missed my chance. I really did. And I didn't show up because I was so scared in the satsang and then I couldn't raise my hand. I didn't have the helium hand; I had like very heavy. And yeah, yeah.

So you can say like that provisionally, that oh, you missed your chance like this, but not really. Like grace does everything. Just the divine intelligence that is running this line. I really don't have much more to say. Thank you. Thank you for coming. Thank you very much. Yeah, I'll just take one question from the chat before going to the next one.

This one says, 'Even though there is a knowing that I am not any of this, but there is a very strong sense of a personal self. This is very contradictory and very difficult.' First, we'll take this part. So if you know that 'I am not any of this,' like I know I am not any of this, but I also know that this is my life, this is my wife, this is my family also. Now, that category of knowing is not what we're speaking of in satsang. This is very important to hear. We just feel like among these two opposites, one side ultimately wins, and that is the freedom side, hopefully. But that is not what satsang is.

So that knowing that 'I am not any of this' and that strong sense of personal self, which actually means that knowing that I am something personal... you see, when we say 'strong sense of personal self,' you're just saying that there's a knowledge that I am something personal. Now, both these, if they both are in the same level and our idea is that one side, which is the freedom side, must win... you see, so it's a boxing match and the boxer, the Self boxer, is going to actually beat up the ego boxer and that's the end of it. And that is the whole delusion because we feel like there's a stronger side in our heads which has to win, which is the knowledge, quote-unquote, knowledge of the real Self, you see. But that is not the knowledge.

So if you leave that layer aside where you could know 'I am the Absolute' or you could know that 'I am a limited person,' if you leave both of those aside and the whole layer where all these conclusions can be drawn, then what do you know about yourselves? So when I ask you, if to know even one thing was to know too much, if to know even one thing was to know too much, what do you know when you know nothing? So the question really is, is there a deeper knowledge which is independent of conceptual learning? What do you know when you know nothing? Okay, this is so much there for years. What is being asked? What is being asked? It's just being asked that when you're open and empty in the head, you're allowing all things, so especially thoughts, to come and go. Conceptually empty, then is there a knowledge which still remains which is not of the head?

Now, too much. What do you know when you know nothing? So the question really is: Is there a deeper knowledge which is independent of conceptual learning? What do you know when you know nothing? Okay, this is so much there for years. What is being asked? What is being asked? It's just being asked that when you're open and empty in the head, you're allowing all things, so especially thoughts, to come and go. Conceptually empty. Then is there a knowledge which still remains, which is not of the head? Is there another knowledge which is not of them? Couldn't have said it like this or what earlier? Is there another knowledge which is not conceptual, theoretically learned? What is that knowledge telling you, showing you? Telling you not in words necessarily. Isn't yourself apparent here? Self-apparent?

You see the difference in the two types of seeking? One type of seeking implies that there is a storehouse, or not a storehouse, of knowledge that I've learned from all the masters and my experiences, you see. And there's the storehouse of egoic concepts and spiritual concepts. They have to get into a war. The Mahabharata has to happen and the side of the truth has to win. That is not true spirituality, but that is the game most spiritual seekers are playing. What is this spirituality? Leave that headspace. Don't bother with it. Even the holiest thought, just a thought. Every thought is justified. Is there another source of intelligence which becomes fully apparent when you lose this limited one? And you even conceptually have to conclude that there must be another one because there are many intelligent things playing out in this body and in the world which are not controlled by the head, by thoughts. So it is there already. That's also even rationally clear. Even to the intellect, it is clear.

Now, this intuitive insight, this intuitive intelligence—can we access it? But you can access it, but you cannot be driven for personal desire. By the way, everybody would like this superpower, but the minute you burden it with some personal idea of personal gain, then you're still actually giving primacy to the false egoic intelligence and not to the intuitive divine insight. So it's not a cheat code for the ego to use. Okay, then you said this is very contradictory and very difficult. Yes, exactly, because you don't have to work at that level at all. And if it is difficult, sometimes it is helpful because you tire of that level. It's difficult like a Zen koan. You tire of your intellect and let it go.

Then you say, even though I continue the inquiry, difficult for whom? Nah, good. Who is dealing? Who is feeling torn apart? Who's feeling drawn? I know that this is all just a story, but it feels extremely personal and that is my experience. Yes, I hope you understand that I am experiencing or suffering this. How can I not say this is not my experience, even though I know? What do we mean by know? To have a concept of something is to know. What can a concept truly tell us? Like you say, but this is actually my experience. Is it? Like I would say it is, you see, but maybe it is one-hundredth of your actual experience. I'm not denying that you're experiencing this confusion because of these contradictory thoughts, but does it capture the entirety of your experience? Can you truly say that? And what makes you value one set of experiences over another? See, no, not one moment of perception can be captured in a million concepts. So when we claim mastery, that this set of concepts is totally encapsulating my experience, then is that really true? You can just some of those, this is one of them.

Then you say, yes, even though I know that there is nothing that is controlling anything, still there is a small part that still wants to perhaps believe that story and I try to hold on to that story. You like to play, right? And you're just kidding. No, no, but in all of this, the 'you' has to be clear. I want to differentiate between two aspects of what you said. I know you want to do that, but I don't want to differentiate between what you are taking to be you and the reality of you. Okay, let's both play. Both will get away. Okay, can both get away? Like you will look at what I'm asking, I will look at what you're asking for. You're saying that in your metaphor, in your narrative, there's a 'you' who has these options, wants to enjoy what is doing the other to do it gradually, whatever the option. But I am saying that there are two options to what that 'you' could be: one is the ego and one is the Self. Yes.

So I'll, I'm willing to explore your aspects if you're willing to explore mine. Yes, yes. So what are the two aspects of the batsman? So one is he has to win the game, yeah. So he's trying to play, yeah, and assuming that's a self-gratification kind from the ego coming in here. He's trying not to do that. That's an action, the play, the perception right now. The same thing can also be like he loves doing it. It's not a personal thing and he just wants to play. Like both can be the end of the six can happen and one way it can be a personal thing and one way it can be the... so end result can be whatever it is, but I don't know from this, there are two aspects of it.

All right, okay. So two aspects of the same, of the level of whether it is coming from a place of love or it's coming from a place of ambition or force or desire or whatever. So this depends on what you are, or it has to be concluded that you are this person. Like, who is the protagonist of the story? Who is driving? Who is driving? He said mind doesn't know how to move a finger and that driving happened really far. Yeah, yeah. So who's driving? So then Self is expressing throughout manifest consciousness, is playing all these roles. Yes. Okay. So now, so when these people are... renovation is happening, that means... so when drivers try too hard to print data analytics and try to process, they go somewhere. There's just difference between them, the car, and the track there vanishes. Yeah, they go somewhere. From that space, they just zoom, you know. So this is same track, same experience, two different people. One goes in the zone, other one is just trying hard.

Yeah, but then losing when they're in the zone or when they, let's say, open and empty, then are they concerned about any outcome? No, absolutely no. They just want to just be there. Yeah, the business there, you know, they don't really care. It's happening without the narrative of the 'me'. Like, what is open and empty? What is the zone that sports people talk about? It is the absence of an individual 'me' or the absence of the need to think about it and then play. Okay, so when you straddle it against under a desire, that's why even the so-called best sportsmen, when they straddle it in the narrative that 'this is world cup final and I have to win', many times they don't go into the zone and they do end up... One time Guruji told me that he enjoys watching football. He said, 'Why do people go to see Messi?' I would have, if it wasn't Guruji, I would have argued about Ronaldo, wasn't Messi. But why do people go and see Messi? Because they want a darshan of this. They want a darshan of someone who is open and empty.

What is the magic of seeing such an expression of consciousness? Because you see the possibility in the human condition to be empty of mental oppression. It is the same for sportsmen, any sort of athletes, any sort of musicians, any sort of... like people say Freddie Mercury, after a while he's just like, he's forgetting about what the plan was, what the intention was, just becoming one with the crowd. So people enjoy this. One is very good in playback but not so good in live performance. What is the distinction? So everyone comes at some level for that darshan of something which is beyond the normal humanity. That's what brings they... yes. Okay, let's go to Clarissa. Hello, hello.

Actually, you said everything and it's just that there was so much fight going on and I have the feeling that I was fighting all the time and that I was hardly... it was hardly possible to hear you. But sometimes the feeling was very strong here and it's like, like up and down.

Yes. One people have for you is that the fighting seems relevant only if you have picked a side of the winner. Like you picked one of them has to win, you see. If you have not picked any side, then it doesn't matter what happens in the fight. So that, in a way, continuing from what the earlier child was asking. So let there be a fight. If you are not bothered with it, then what remains for you? You're using a lot of these sporting metaphors. So if you did not care about whether it is Hamilton or Leclerc who's winning, then what interest is there in the race? What makes the fight interesting?

It's just that such strong feelings are coming and such a pressure and that I try to get in the way.

That never is a problem. Like the appearance of any perception never is a problem. The fight is in the mind. Like, 'this has to stop, why can't this stop?' You see, 'why is this like this?' This kind of thing. Let any perception come. Even right now, let any emotion come. What gets in the way? If you are at no distance from yourselves and the Master is at no distance from you, what can come in the way? If you are watching a movie, if you are watching the movie, what can come on the screen that can prevent you from meeting yourselves? See, what scene can the filmmaker make that prevents you from meeting yourself while you're watching a movie? It's not possible. And the Master's voice is which one? That is always with you.

I can hardly follow you. It's...

Yeah, so are you following something else? Or is it that you are not understanding the words? Because many times in satsang, you see, these words are just coming and they're not being understood conceptually, but they're doing their job. You don't have to worry about what they're doing. Or is it that you're following what your mind is saying?

The mind is so tense. It's like...

Yeah, so don't be concerned what mind is. For a moment, please don't be concerned with what the mind is. Now, where am I? You don't have to fix the mind or change the mind. You don't have to make it less dense. This just here. This is nothing else. Okay, tell me if you're hearing this part. Are you hearing me now?

Yes.

So the top floor has noisy neighbors. Don't worry about them. Yeah, that's it. Yes. Now let's determine what the problem is. Because before we figure out whether we are solving it or not, let's determine what the problem is. The problem is not if your attention goes to your mind. The problem is only if you believe what it is saying. And the mind doesn't have the power to make its proposals into belief. It says, it may say it does. The mind itself may say, 'belief is going automatically, I can't help it because little old me, I don't have the power.' But you are consciousness. You are God. So you can never be powerless in front of the mind. Like, don't think of an orange. Orange, famous one is pink elephant, but don't think of an orange. Then don't believe you're an orange. Two different things. Orange can be in our attention, but I don't have to take it to be myself. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Hello, my dear. Can you hear me, my voice?

Yes, yes, I can hear you clearly.

How is your mother's health?

My mother's health is very stable now, Anantaji. It's really a miracle. And everything... the last time I spoke to you was in the hospital.

Yes, yes, I remember.

And you said forget about all about this looking at it, and it worked so beautifully that I got so involved in taking care of her. It was almost like there was a sense of no one doing anything. It was so total. There was... I always have fears to speak with you because, you know, because your words, they are not just words for me, you know. They become living things when you say. It's not that I have to remember them; it confirms every moment, you know. So everything went so smoothly.

Looking at it, and it worked so beautifully that I got so involved in taking care of her. It was almost like there was a sense of no one doing anything; it was so total. I always have fears to speak with you because your words are not just words for me, you know? They become a living thing when you say them. It's not that I have to remember them; it confirms every moment. So, everything went so smoothly, even with lots of fears and everything. There was no resistance to even my stuff coming out, that it should not arise and all that. And yet, there was a sense of being, whatever you want to call it. Especially today when you said this awareness of human being—this awareness is not even in the present, as I sense it. It's not even present. When Mooji talked to me, those words have stayed because it's not like a memory, but his words were like there was no past, future, and even present is just a concept. Those words confirmed it, and you confirm it every time. Her body condition is very stable, and taking care is happening really through this form. I cook every day, I enjoy all this daily life; it's happening. I just have to really thank you so much for your divine presence, for these reminders. This gratitude has no end. Thank you so much. All my love to all of you. I just wanted to say hello at your feet.

Thank you. Can you hear me properly? Thank you.

I just came up because I feel I'm a bit tired with this game of in and out. I honor it without trying. To try is not to honor it.

Where can you... okay, let's start with this. It's a good idea. So, honor your seeing now. Where can you try?

I don't know. I just do the practices. This panic attack is coming every night and I do everything. I inquire, I surrender, I pray, I do. But the personal one trusts everything, and my person is so much 'me' in that time. So it is not 'I am the air,' 'I am the space.' I am this one, living something inside here. I'm so tight.

Whatever your condition may be, or whatever our mind's idea of our condition may be, the best gift you can give yourself is to meet yourself as the highest at this very moment. Yes? So now, are you aware now?

Yeah, of course there is awareness, but...

If it is 'of course,' then there can't be the 'but.'

Yeah, okay. I don't know why I'm so sorry for myself for the first time, because I feel like you can meet it.

Are you awareness now? Are you awareness now?

I don't know.

The two questions, 'Are you aware now?' and 'Are you awareness now?'—is it the same? You tell me.

Yeah, this must be the same.

So, are you awareness now? Now?

I can't decide to cry or laugh. But what are you now? Are you awareness now?

Are you aware now? This question came up in Satsang here maybe nine years ago, very, very early. And it was one of those phrases I felt like if I just ask this, there's no chance for the ego. There's just no chance. It's just going to become so apparent. Are you aware now? When I'm asking 'Are you awareness now?' I'm wondering why I never said this before. I feel like that's it.

Okay, still the mind is dropping questions.

Best to listen to my mind, yes? Whose job? How much you get paid?

It's just happening automatically. The belief in the mind is just happening. Yes, really. If this doesn't confront about it, no control of it, me.

So why is it not so easy at night? Who is this supposed to help? Satsang is the place where the one who needs help is shown the door. Excuse me, Satsang is the place where the one who needs help is shown the door. So who is the one that needs help?

Who needs help will you be not working for? I don't know who is it that needs help. It's just a memory now.

When we say, 'Yes, I am aware now,' you're actually confirming that I am awareness. In fact, the 'now' part, if it isn't in time, it is irrelevant. Who should we help? 'Who' means fixing. What can hurt awareness? Thank you so much. And you can play some of these recordings, you know? We have so many recordings now which always start like this—they always start crying, crying, and always they end up laughing, laughing. So we must have many of these recordings now. You can play them in the night also. It never occurred to you like that? Hey, thank you. Your mind or your ego is not as heavy as you think it is. That's why it's so easy in Satsang; it just takes a minute, gone. I love you. Let's go to Joe and Laurence. What are you doing together? Hello! Can you hear us? In France, or where? In Spain?

Yeah, hopeless now. This one is homeless now. It will look like a nice home, no? True, true, homeless and headless. Laurence picked up her house and has all the boxes in her car and she's on the way to Monte Sahaja. Let's stop over here at our place. It's been a four-month process, full set, really amazing. And the funny thing is last week I couldn't be in Satsang and you put this video, you know? I didn't have time to listen so I could see everybody laughing, and then it's the video when you know, 'Stop it.' No, not in the broadcast, when we met just here in Bangalore.

Ah, it was in Bangalore. It was not in Satsang, so we put it in the WhatsApp group also.

Yes, that's it, that's it. And the funny thing is that it talks about boxes, and this house was full of boxes. It's so apparent that it's so much bigger than this, all these boxes. And yeah, I wanted that... sorry, because this one is taking very seriously not to take oneself seriously. There is this song that came, you know, when you keep saying 'headless.' I'd like to sing you this little song.

I would love to hear it, yes.

We can be all headless, focus on your nose, be nosy, says Anantaji. Headless, we can all be so headless, just focus on your nose, be nosy, says Anantaji. Do you know this song? The song it comes from?

Yeah, no, it's 'heartless' actually. So of course it had to become 'headless' over the weekend. No, I don't know the name of the group singing that, but the words are 'Heartless, heartless, how can you be so heartless?' And you begin... the funny thing is that I keep saying be headless and be with your nose, but your nose is also on your head. That's why it's so funny. And to be nosy, actually, to be nosy is to stick one's nose into something and to look too deep into it. So it's... anyhow, you're going to drive this car, right? This car is very full, but it's going to drive a long way. So you're driving?

I'm driving, perfect. I'm leaving tomorrow actually, and it's going to be a two days' drive. So yeah, it's full adventure. There's so many things that can come up, like fears trying, or it's just thought trying to bring you outside of present. And with the kids at the back, 'Are we there yet?' There was lots of fear when I took this decision, so I had to cancel it for a bit. In the sense that it's truly like there was this attachment to matter, all these fears and things from so many...

That's the mind mantra: matter does matter. What did you say? A terrible joke, you know? I'm not laughing because the mind says matter does matter.

Yeah, no, but it's very interesting. Every moment it was an opportunity to see if there was someone doing, or if... whenever it became, at some point it was very, very intense and lots of opportunities to just, I don't know, whenever dragged into, to just step back. And there have been so many... tears are going to come when mentioning this because truly, so many amazing ways in which consciousness brings exactly what is needed. And even if it's not seen then, two hours later, of course, of course. And thank you. And it's so well. And also Satsang with body, because body was absolutely exhausted, truly, even to a point where a massive pain came. It's interesting when you say, because full sensations... there are moments where sensations are just too much. And this one never takes painkillers, but at some point it was like sleeping was not possible. And it was... as far as this is concerned, there is still maybe the hope that at some point it's not... there was no story about the thing, but it was just unbearable. So a decision had to be made to call the doctor and then to take painkillers. But it's just when it's like, it's not my body, it's just consciousness taking care of life in the form of this.

Well, okay. I'm so glad to hear that you will be so close with Guruji so soon for blessing. Love you. I hope to be close to you physically one day also. Thank you.

We'll see if that's... yeah. I had this... I put my hand quite a while ago, but there's still something. I just wanted to take the opportunity to share an echo I had with all over the Satsang about taking... yeah, because I'm again seeing how much the belief is everywhere. Everywhere is belief. We are bathing in belief. And I always loved, again and again, I have this metaphor, this image of us looking, of me and most of us looking, walking around not looking at the landscape but looking at the map. And hurting. And then we say, 'Okay, it doesn't work,' so we fold the map and we look. But then we discover this is also a map because it is here. This image, this ongoing process of not noticing that we are believing, that we are bathing in a world of concepts. I've been confronting this image all along this Satsang, you know? It was confronting itself because whatever we try to grasp, we try to grasp with the map, with the inner map. And so we always... and the fear is always there because we are caught in pure ideas, and the fear cannot not be there because it is your idea. So there is no way out of this conceptual world. The only way, the only way is you, the way you show us: don't believe your next thoughts, don't believe yourself even. And I was also looking at the fact, on my own experience, how I tend to get hold. Okay, I let go of ideas, but then I go into sensations and it is exactly the same. It's just because sensations and material experiencing or bodily experiencing or sensual experiencing or whatever seems to be suddenly so real because it is so innocent, so direct. And it is not, because we are bathing again in the known. And then when I eat or whatever, I compensate or, you know, it is just grasping against something, just getting hold of something. So I always contemplate how the real is ungraspable and we don't want to believe it. We resist it.

And it comes... you said it somehow just before. The mind says what matters is matter. Taking hold of something. What matters is grasping. What matters is grasp. You don't grasp, you're nothing. You're nothing. So that's all. I mean, I just... it becomes always a bit... I also see how flexible we are when we see that this is everywhere and when we don't see.

Somehow, just before, the mind says what matters is matter. It was not like this. Matters, matters, or something like that. So, taking hold of something, what matters is grasping. What matters is grasping. You don't grasp, you're nothing. You're nothing. And so that's all. It becomes always a bit... I also see how flexible we are when we see this, because this is everywhere. And when we don't see it, we have problems. And if we cannot follow you, you have to show us again and again and again. And when we can see that, we can follow you easier because it is the synopsis of the whole thing somehow. And that's it. And thank you, thank you, thank you so much, because this is made easier to grasp because of you. Just because we see you, we see we are awareness because we see you are aware. So you cannot convince us, you can just prove it to us because we see it in front of us. So thank you so much, thank you so much.

Okay, last one. Can you hear me properly? Ah, yes.

This one is sometimes afraid, sometimes clear, sometimes thinks that he knows, sometimes he doesn't know a lot of things. Confused. But this is all going on. Anyway, because there are several times that I felt maybe I should show up myself, as there are some regular ones. And also there was a lot of confusion sometimes, and afterwards it was clarified and again. But the whole thing is everything is going on, something is watching the whole thing. And also sometimes I'm not identifying with one or the other. When I am clear, it's very polite and everything is okay. But because of this kind of fear that sometimes arises, I would like to show up and I would like to expose everything. And also this one who sometimes is very clear about the whole thing, even this satsang I was like, I get this, I don't know anything at all, and all the others are really much money. But also because this one is a little bit... thinks that I don't know, maybe holds on to this kind of belief and idea that whatever in the Gita says, it's really one of the highest.

Somehow you introduced me to the Ribhu Gita, and at the beginning, in the first satsangs, maybe even half a year, I was really messed up. I felt that I will not follow you at all because it was like a fight always, and I was really so confused. I was like, I just lost everything, I don't know. Anyway, after that, I feel that whenever I am listening, because I found my grace, Papaji's reading the Ribhu Gita, and I'm listening. When I'm listening, it's like everything is cleared out. Everything, the whole thing is... it's always everything is Brahman. And it's showing me that whatever I'm thinking and whatever conclusion I am having, it's nothing. The whole thing is nothing, and everything is the play of Brahman, and everyone, and always not only everyone but everything.

But the whole thing I have to expose is that I was starting also because it says that it is good, there are two kinds of mantras that are good to do: that 'I am Brahman.' I wasn't sure at the beginning if it's good, but afterwards I read Adi Shankara, a lot of he says that it's better to have this kind of conviction that 'I am only, only.' And the other one which I feel that the Ribhu says is the best kind of mantra, that everything is the highest being, which is consciousness, Satchitananda, and I am that. I feel that always nowadays when I am going out and I feel that my mind is kind of trying to wander or trying to judge or anything, I say everything is consciousness, everything is Brahman. Or sometimes even saying that everything is the supreme Shiva and Devi. It's more kind of harmonizing that even Devi's, because my mind is sometimes with the female bodies like attracted a little bit, bringing me a little bit to say I'm really feeling that it has a power on me.

It's really interesting because I didn't know I have the ability to speak anything, but I see that it's coming out, a lot of things. I think this is the main thing that I wanted to share. Also, I'm so happy that yesterday evening I was like jumping in the bed because I found out that the last video of Guruji in the Sahaja Express is about Ribhu Gita, and I was like really overwhelmed. What a grace that I am kind of caught by the Ribhu. Guruji says that after reading the older Gitas, I found that this is the one that does it. Now it's felt here the most. I cannot interpret the exact words, but it was like it is maybe the highest. And maybe the one thing that is the same, and I was like, what a blessing that this stays with me. But everything comes from you.

Anyway, sometimes I was really very, very proud, like maybe I could understand the whole thing, but always Papaji, and also Papaji did this reading, always puts me on the right track. Whatever I think that I know, it's also nothing, it's quite dormant and somehow like this. I'm very happy and very grateful. And also I would like to expose that I am a little bit... I don't know, I don't feel to follow, although I am part of the listening circle and sometimes I was involved, but I feel a little bit maybe a little bit too noisy. And also sometimes I was really arrogant. I was really arrogant. Sometimes my mind was like, maybe it's too much. And other times I was feeling that, oh my goodness, they are full of love. But everything was passing. It's like I was now talking about the past. Whatever is here, it's you. I would like to ask you if you see anything, whatever you would like to chop. Thank you very much. Thank you.

Thank you so much. Thank you. Bless you. Thank you. Wow, thank you. Let's play. Somebody, we want to sing some more? Sing.

Thank you all so much for being in satsang today. Sleep you.