Longing, others were saved, why not me
Original Marathi from the Tukaram Gatha · About Sant Tukaram
मराठी मूळ
काय आह्मीं केलें ऐसें । नुद्धरीजेसें सांगावें ॥1॥
हरण कोल्हें वैकुंठवासी । कोण त्यासी अधिकार ॥ध्रु.॥
गजा नाडएा सरोवरीं । नाहीं हरी विचारिलें ॥2॥
तुका ह्मणे गणिका नष्ट। माझे कष्ट त्याहूनि ॥3॥
Tukaram Gatha (Marathi Wikisource)
English Translation
What have I done that is so terrible that You refuse to save me? Tell me. A deer and a jackal became dwellers of Vaikuntha; what special qualification did they possess? When the elephant Gajendra was trapped in the lake, Hari did not pause to deliberate. Says Tuka, the courtesan was wretched, yet my sufferings are greater even than hers.
We ask forgiveness for any inaccuracies in rendering Tukaram ji’s original Marathi.
In Plain Words
What have I done that is so terrible You refuse to save me? Tell me. A deer and a jackal became dwellers of Vaikuntha; what right did they have to it? When the elephant was trapped in the lake, Hari did not stop to think it over. Tuka says: the courtesan was a sinner, yet my hardships are greater than hers.
What it means
Tukaram presses his case by holding up those God has already rescued. A deer, a jackal, the trapped elephant Gajendra, the fallen courtesan, none of them had any special merit, yet Hari saved them without hesitation. So he asks what crime of his could possibly be bad enough to make God hold back now. The argument is the bhakta's audacity again: he turns God's own record of unearned grace into a claim on it. Naming his suffering as worse than the courtesan's, he insists he has more reason, not less, to be reached for.
Longing and Separation
Cries from the dark night of the soul: remonstrances, complaints, and desperate yearning.
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