Complaint, remorse that holds on anyway
Original Marathi from the Tukaram Gatha · About Sant Tukaram
मराठी मूळ
काय सांगों हृषीकेशा । आहे अनुताप आला ऐसा । गिळावासी निमिषा । निमिष लागों नेदावें ॥1॥
माझें बुडविलें घर। लेंकरें बाळें दारोदार । लाविलीं काहार । तारातीर करोनि ॥ध्रु.॥
जीव घ्यावा कीं द्यावा । तुझा आपुला केशवा । इतुकें उरलें आहे। भावाचिया निमित्यें ॥2॥
तुकयाबंधु ह्मणें जग । बरें वाईट ह्मणो मग । या कारणें परी लाग । न संडावा सर्वथा ॥3॥
Tukaram Gatha (Marathi Wikisource)
English Translation
What can I tell You, O Hrishikesha? Such remorse has seized me that I want to swallow the moments and not let a single breath pass. You have ruined my home and left the children wandering door to door, crying and struggling. Whether to give up this life or to carry on, that is all that remains, O Keshava, because of my brother. Says Tukya-bandhu, let the world call it good or bad; still, I will not abandon this pursuit under any condition.
We ask forgiveness for any inaccuracies in rendering Tukaram ji’s original Marathi.
In Plain Words
What can I tell You, O Hrishikesha? Such remorse has seized me that I want to swallow the moments and not let a single breath pass. You have ruined my home. The children wander door to door, crying and struggling. Whether to give up this life or to carry on, that is all that is left, O Keshava, because of my brother. Tukya-bandhu says: let the world call it good or bad. Still I will not give up this pursuit, no matter what.
What it means
The grief has turned inward into remorse so heavy the speaker wishes he could stop time itself. The home is wrecked and the children are out begging at doors; the only question left is whether to keep living or let go. Yet the poem turns at the end: whatever the world says, he will not abandon the very pursuit of God that cost him everything. That refusal is the heart of it. Even when devotion has ruined him, he cannot and will not let go of God; the complaint and the clinging are the same act.
Longing and Separation
Cries from the dark night of the soul: remonstrances, complaints, and desperate yearning.
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