Autobiography, how detachment came
Original Marathi from the Tukaram Gatha · About Sant Tukaram
मराठी मूळ
याति शूद्र वैश केला वेवसाव । आदि तो हा देव कुळपूज्य ॥1॥
नये बोलों परि पािळलें वचन । केलियाचा प्रश्न तुह्मीं संतीं ॥ध्रु.॥
संवसारें जालों अतिदुःखें दुखी । मायबाप सेखीं कर्मलिया ॥2॥
दुष्काळें आटिलें द्रव्यें नेला मान । स्त्री एकी अन्न अन्न करितां मेली ॥3॥
लज्जा वाटे जीवा त्रासलों या दुःखें । वेवसाय देख तुटी येतां ॥4॥
देवाचें देऊळ होतें तें भंगलें । चित्तासी जें आलें करावेंसें ॥5॥
आरंभीं कीर्तन करीं एकादशी । नव्हतें अभ्यासीं चित्त आधीं ॥6॥
कांहीं पाठ केलीं संतांचीं उत्तरें। विश्वासें आदरें करोनियां ॥7॥
गाती पुढें त्यांचें धरावें धृपद । भावें चित्त शुद्ध करोनियां ॥8॥
संताचें सेविलें तीर्थ पायवणी । लाज नाहीं मनीं येऊं दिली ॥9॥
टाकला तो कांहीं केला उपकार । केलें हें शरीर कष्टवूनि ॥10॥
वचन मानिलें नाहीं सहुदानचें । समूळ प्रपंचें वीट आला ॥11॥
सत्यअसत्यासी मन केलें ग्वाही । मानियेलें नाहीं बहुमतां ॥12॥
मानियेला स्वप्नीं गुरूचा उपदेश । धरिला विश्वास दृढ नामीं ॥13॥
यावरि या जाली कवित्वाची स्फूतिन । पाय धरिले चित्तीं विठोबाचे ॥14॥
निषेधाचा कांहीं पडिला आघात । तेणें मध्यें चित्त दुखविलें ॥15॥
बुडविल्या वहएा बैसलों धरणें । केलें नारायणें समाधान ॥16॥
विस्तारीं सांगतां बहुत प्रकार । होईल उशीर आतां पुरे ॥17॥
आतां आहे तैसा दिसतो विचार । पुढील प्रकार देव जाणे ॥18॥
भक्ता नारायण नुपेक्षी सर्वथा । कृपावंत ऐसा कळों आलें ॥19॥
तुका ह्मणे माझें सर्व भांडवल । बोलविले पांडुरंगें ॥20॥
Tukaram Gatha (Marathi Wikisource)
English Translation
I am of humble birth; trade was my family's occupation. Our ancestral deity has been God from the very beginning. It is not proper for me to speak of this, but you saints have asked, so I honor your question. Worldly life made me exceedingly sorrowful. My parents died in hard times. Famine seized our wealth and honor; my wife died crying for food. Shame gripped my soul, and I grew weary of suffering when the trade began to fail. God's temple was in ruins, and my heart felt the urge to restore it. I began doing kirtan on Ekadashi, though my mind had no prior practice in it. I memorized some teachings of the saints with faith and reverence. I would sing their compositions and hold the refrain, purifying my chitta with devotion. I drank the sacred water from the saints' feet and let go of all shame. Whatever small good I did was earned by toiling with this body. I did not heed the advice of easy-going people, for complete disgust with worldly life had taken hold. I made my own mind the witness of truth and falsehood and did not bow to popular opinion. In a dream, I received my Guru's instruction and held firm faith in the Name. After that came the inspiration for poetry, and I held Vithoba's feet in my chitta. There was some persecution that caused me grief in between. When my manuscripts were drowned, I sat in protest, and Narayana comforted me. To describe it all in detail would take too long; let this suffice. Things stand now as you see them; what lies ahead, only God knows. The Lord never forsakes his devotee; this much I have come to understand. Says Tuka, my entire capital is Panduranga, who made me speak.
We ask forgiveness for any inaccuracies in rendering Tukaram ji’s original Marathi.
In Plain Words
I am of low birth; trade was my family's work. From the very start our family deity has been God. It is not right for me to speak of this, but you saints have asked, so I answer. Worldly life made me deeply sorrowful. My parents died in hard times. Famine ate up our wealth and our standing; one wife died crying for food. Shame gripped me, and I grew sick of suffering when the trade failed. God's temple lay in ruins, and my heart wanted to restore it. I began doing kirtan on Ekadashi, though my mind had no practice in it before. I memorized some sayings of the saints, with faith and reverence. I would sing their songs and hold the refrain, purifying my mind with devotion. I took the water from the saints' feet and let no shame come into my mind. Whatever small good I did, I did by wearing out this body. I did not heed the advice of easy-going people; complete disgust with the world had taken hold of me. I made my own mind the witness of true and false, and did not bow to popular opinion. In a dream I received my Guru's teaching, and held firm faith in the Name. After that came the rising of poetry, and I held Vithoba's feet in my mind. Some persecution struck me and grieved me in between. When my manuscripts were drowned, I sat in protest, and Narayana brought me peace. To tell it all in detail would take too long; let this be enough. Things stand now as you see them; what comes next, only God knows. Narayana never forsakes his devotee; this much I have come to know. Tuka says: my whole capital is Panduranga, who made me speak.
What it means
The saints have asked Tukaram how renunciation came to him, and this is his answer, told straight. He traces it through loss: a trader's son, he watched famine kill his parents, swallow his wealth and standing, and take a wife who died crying for food, until shame and exhaustion broke his hold on the world. Out of that ruin he turned to rebuilding God's temple, to kirtan on Ekadashi, to memorizing and singing the saints' words and taking the dust of their feet without shame. He insists he trusted his own conscience over public opinion, received his Guru's teaching in a dream, fixed his faith on the Name and on Vithoba's feet, and even when persecuted and made to drown his own manuscripts, found that Narayana never abandoned him. He ends by giving all the credit away: his only capital is Panduranga, who put the words in his mouth.
Autobiography
Tukaram's own account of his life, struggles, awakening, and mission.
More in this theme →