The Long Return to Kailash
Bala Kanda, Chaupai 58
Doha 58 · Movement 1 of 2
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Sati walks beneath a sorrow too great for speech. Shiva, unfathomable ocean of compassion, never names her offence. His restraint does not prevent her from reading the altered current between them. She sees his inward withdrawal, knows her own action, and feels the heart burn like a kiln.
Recognizing her anguish, Shiva tells beautiful stories along the road to give her comfort. One history follows another while valleys, forests, and high passes move around them. Mercy continues even where intimacy has been renounced.
At Kailash, Shiva remembers the vow. Beneath a banyan he folds his legs into the lotus posture, gathers himself into his natural divine state, and enters unbroken, immeasurable samadhi. The journey ends in mountain stillness. Beside that stillness, Sati remains awake to everything that cannot now be undone.
Shiva enters the silence beneath the tree, and Kailash closes around Sati's grief.
Read the passage from the Manas
हृदयँ सोचु समुझत निज करनी। चिंता अमित जाइ नहि बरनी।। कृपासिंधु सिव परम अगाधा। प्रगट न कहेउ मोर अपराधा।। संकर रुख अवलोकि भवानी। प्रभु मोहि तजेउ हृदयँ अकुलानी।। निज अघ समुझि न कछु कहि जाई। तपइ अवाँ इव उर अधिकाई।। सतिहि ससोच जानि बृषकेतू। कहीं कथा सुंदर सुख हेतू।। बरनत पंथ बिबिध इतिहासा। बिस्वनाथ पहुँचे कैलासा।। तहँ पुनि संभु समुझि पन आपन। बैठे बट तर करि कमलासन।। संकर सहज सरुप सम्हारा। लागि समाधि अखंड अपारा।।
Her heart was filled with sorrow as she understood her own actions. Her anxiety was boundless, beyond all description. Yet Shiva, that unfathomably deep ocean of mercy, did not once openly speak of Sati's transgression.