The Empty Chariot Becomes an Approaching Shame
Ayodhya Kanda, Chaupai 145
Doha 145 · Movement 1 of 2
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A virtuous wife separated by duty from the husband she serves through deed, thought, and speech burns with hidden anguish. Such a fire consumes Sumantra's heart. Tears dim his sight, hearing fails, thought wanders, lips dry, and tongue clings within his mouth.
Life cannot leave because grief seems to have bolted the doors of his chest. His color drains away until the sight is unbearable. Loss and remorse fill him like the terror of a sinner already walking toward Yama's city.
No spoken lament can answer the question growing before him: what will Ayodhya look like when he enters? Every citizen who recognizes Ram's chariot without Ram will shrink from the man holding the reins. The vehicle itself becomes a public announcement he dreads to deliver.
Before Ayodhya appears, Sumantra already feels every citizen looking through him toward the unbearable emptiness behind the reins.
Read the passage from the Manas
जिमि कुलीन तिय साधु सयानी। पतिदेवता करम मन बानी।। रहै करम बस परिहरि नाहू। सचिव हृदयँ तिमि दारुन दाहु।। लोचन सजल डीठि भइ थोरी। सुनइ न श्रवन बिकल मति भोरी।। सूखहिं अधर लागि मुहँ लाटी। जिउ न जाइ उर अवधि कपाटी।। बिबरन भयउ न जाइ निहारी। मारेसि मनहुँ पिता महतारी।। हानि गलानि बिपुल मन ब्यापी। जमपुर पंथ सोच जिमि पापी।। बचनु न आव हृदयँ पछिताई। अवध काह मैं देखब जाई।। राम रहित रथ देखिहि जोई। सकुचिहि मोहि बिलोकत सोई।।
Like a noble, virtuous, and wise wife who serves her husband as her deity in deed, mind, and speech, she remains devoted to duty even when parted from her lord. Just so, a terrible anguish burns in the minister's heart. His eyes brimmed with tears, his sight grew dim. His ears could not hear; his mind was bewildered and dazed. His lips dried up, his tongue clung to his mouth. Yet life would not depart, for grief had bolted the doors of his heart. He grew so pale that none could bear to look at him, as though his own mother and father had died. Loss and remorse flooded his mind completely, like the dread of a sinner walking the road to Yama's city. No words would come; he could only grieve within his heart. What will I see when I return to Ayodhya? Whoever sees the chariot without Rama will shrink from me in shame.