Your True Name Is Awareness - 3rd June 2022

Because as I'm saying all of this, your mind will say, 'But if my partner is being unfair to me, that is definitely a true story now. I don't know about anything, but that is true.' So, of course, we can laugh at it now, but this is the nonsensical things we tell ourselves and we get back into the mold of taking ourselves to be the non-existent one again. If there is a story that you believe in about yourself, any story—if there is any story that you believe in about yourself—that story equals garbage. And there is no value in these stories. There is no value judgment about, 'Oh, my love stories are better than my money stories,' or 'Some money stories are better than my body stories,' or something. It's all stories, all garbage. You don't have to sort out the garbage and say 'recyclable,' 'non-recyclable,' none of this stuff. Why are they garbage? Because the protagonist, which you take to be true, does not exist. And also the representations from that protagonist's perspective are all ravaged.

Let me see something true about right now. About one moment. Encapsulate this moment in the story. I give you ten thousand words and as much time as you want. You can't do it. Your head cannot encapsulate one moment in time, and a story is about lifetimes. Can you see the absurdity? Am I talking too academically? This is—let's make it a live workshop, not a theoretical discourse. Right now, what is this? What is this right now? Can't grasp it. You can see the nonsense. Like, try to say it. What is this right now? One will say, 'This is satsang.' One will say, 'Father is talking to us.' One will say, 'Father is really ranting today right at the beginning.' One will say, 'What is this guy? He's too absurd, I'm going.' One will say, 'This is so nice, I'm getting into a state.' All this. So what is the reality of it right now? Those are not compatible, see? Either it is really stupid and absurd, or in the presence of satsang you are feeling a lot of bliss. So if it was one consistent thing, if there was a truth that could be encapsulated conceptually, you would all be thinking the same thing, you see? But it's not, because we cannot capture it really. Then we try to say, 'Ah, this is what this is.' And why are you compelled to do that by your mind? So that then you can say, 'Okay, this is what I have understood and therefore now this is what I should do. I should only stay like this. Yes, yes, Father is telling us the truth, now my only job is to remain or stabilized.' But I'm not saying any of that.

But we are obsessed with this control. You're obsessed with trying to control, and to control, to determine how things should be and what I should do, you need to first get a diagnostic about what this is. And the only place that diagnostic comes from is your head. So what happens to the building that is built on false foundations? If the base itself—that 'what is this'—is being determined wrongly by your head, then you build a building on top of that which is your identity. What happens to that? It is all shaky, unstable, also known as suffering, because the foundation is wrong. You cannot insert what this is into a narrative. You're just playing around.

The other day, in one of these children, I was saying the same report that you make: make it on behalf of awareness. Instead of saying, 'I went, I did this, this happened to me,' they said like this, you see? Whatever the report was, instead of that, say 'awareness' and then continue the story. That is the truth of what you're finding about yourself, isn't it? Are you aware now? Yes. You that is aware is awareness itself. We've gone through this many times and we can repeat this again, but awareness is the discovery you're making about yourself. This awareness is what you are. Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi said, 'Awareness is your true name.' So your true name is awareness. All the other names are just made up. So as awareness, now tell me a story about yourself. Did awareness wake up this morning? Things did not wake up this morning. There's awareness. How? Where will you start your story? What is your birthday? Cannot say. So the truth you cannot represent in any narrative, and because the mind by nature is the narrator, it is hopeless when it comes to the truth.

But does your heart need us to—does your heart have a story? Does your heart need? So this constant question in satsang, which means that, 'Ah, Father, yes, I see all this that you're saying, now what should I do?' Can you see the trickery in that? See, 'I see all that you're saying' is the narrative which you're making to conclude about your current state. Now you've inserted some future time into your narrative and said, 'Okay, now how do I deal with the future? The present is fine, I'm seeing all this is nonsense narrative.' Who is in this narrative? Who is stuck between this sandwich of time? Who is in the sandwich of time between past and future? Poor thing. All of us are just stuck in this present. It can seem like just stuck. Past is gone, I can't meet it. Future is coming, it's coming, what will I do with it? I, poor thing, am stuck in this present. See? Who is this one? Little over-cheese slice. All my metaphors are going to be food-related now because intermittent fasting is happening. So who is this one?

And the worst part is that our determinations many times are those which are unavoidable anyway, like 'stay in the present.' 'I must stay in the present.' Where else can you stay? Can't. So 'stay in the present' only means that don't go on mental adventures about past and future. But you, where in reality where can you stay? In the present. There's no other home than you. It's not that you are staying in the present; all that which we are calling present—which is starting with the presence of being and then that which is appearing on the screen of consciousness—where can that go if you are not there? See? So this what we call present or presence is building a home on you. So we have all this upside down. And why is the upside-downness happening? Because of our obstinate desire to narrate, to determine our narrative. Because to the mind it can seem like the absence of narrative is meaningless, or some sort of nihilistic existence where it is just limbo and fully lost. To the mind, having no up or down is very...

That which is appearing on the screen of consciousness, where can that go if you are not there? See, so this what we call present or presence is building a home on you. So we have all this upside down. And why is the upside downness happening? Because of our obstinate desire to narrate, to determine our narrative. Because to the mind, it can seem like the absence of narrative is meaningless or some sort of nihilistic existence where it is just limbo and fully lost. To the mind, having no up or down is very scary. If there was no up and down, it just vanished, it's very scary to the mind. But for you, that's very natural. To not have a reference point to call 'me' is very scary to your mind. 'Where, where am I? Oh!'—like that is the mind's word, you see. But for you, what is your true reference point? Where can you place yourself? Do you have a location? You don't have. So this time, we demolish all this nonsensical reference-making, and the slightest reference to the 'I' is the ego. Okay? Be empty of it. You are empty of it. Live here. You are empty of it right now. You empty of it, live here. Don't grasp. Live here, don't grasp any problems. Don't grasp. Live here headlessly. This is freedom. This is free.

So this is testable, recognizable freedom. Now you may say, 'But what happened to self-recognition, self-realization? I came here to find myself, to get a darshan of that which is beyond perceivable.' See, that's what we're here for: to recognize that which is beyond perception. Now stay like that. Stay like I'm telling you and tell me if you are just your perceptions. Are you just your perceptions? Who feels like they're just their perceptions? It's clear to you that these perceptions are appearing to you. You are beyond them already. Clear? You are beyond them. That is the non-perceivable experience of the Self. Now you want a quality to it? That is stupidity. And to ask for a quality on that which is quality-less... you're looking for something which is beyond gunas, beyond attribute. Now you're saying, 'But what did I see that I can say that I found it?' If you saw something, that would be—call it, you know—you would make a perception out of it. So stop looking for a superposition perception. Notice that, empty of any position, it is apparent to you that you are not just your perceptions. You are beyond that. What is that which is beyond that? That which is aware of the perception of this hand right now, you see, that is beyond your perceptions, isn't it?

Stay with me; maybe I'm going too fast. That which is aware of the perception of this hand is not a perception, isn't it? You see? And yet at the same time, you can confirm that it is you. Nobody can say, 'No, it's not me, it's my neighbor.' It's you that is aware. So that is your non-phenomenal recognition of yourself. As simple as that. Don't convince your mind, and don't let the mind discount this by saying, 'Oh, that? What's the big deal in there?' No, no, no. That which you're finding about yourself is not in this universe. It does not have time or space. That simplicity that you're finding like that, don't undervalue it because it is so easy to find. See, that's the world's way. So that you are beyond all perceptions, and that is apparent to you when you let go of your narrative. You are free. Goodness! That satsang recognition—that which is aware of all these perceptions and yet cannot be perceived by itself because it's qualityless, and yet fully recognized intuitively. Only intuitively fully recognized. There is nobody who doesn't have this.

So if you are trying, if you are struggling, if you are failing, or even if you're succeeding, you're using the wrong instrument. See, if you're trying, failing, succeeding—all of these things don't apply to your intuition. See, they only apply to perception. They only apply to mind. With me? So what you are is clear, yes or no? Now only believe the story that applies to this you. Only buy the story that applies to this you. Which story applies? Some of you are gravitating back to the mind saying, 'But...' Stop it. It's not going to help you. See? And definitely not the same old stuff, please. 'It can't be this simple,' you see. 'Is that it? I was expecting fireworks.' This is—I'm showing you something which is beyond the universe and you're asking for fireworks? I'm showing you that which is your timeless nature. You cannot lose it. Everything appears within that, and your mind is saying, 'Where's my bliss?' This is our value confusion. This is what the mind does.

I'm showing you that you're beyond birth and death, that these universes, they come and go for you. I'm showing you that, and you're saying, 'Please, where's my 200 grams of Ananda at least?' Let's not fall for the same old tricks. Let's have—if there's a new trick, I'm scared to say I'm happy to hear—but the mind is very primitive in that. It's the same old stuff. 'Can I stay like this? Can I stay like this? Why is it only in satsang?' How many years will we ask the same question? Are you in satsang? Are you that you which you are discovering? That one is in satsang? Is there something in satsang, out of satsang for that? Are you in this universe? Are you in a room? Are you sitting, standing? Let's talk about that, you know, that you which is so clearly aware of the perception of this hand. Let's talk about that because there is no other you.

So let's not live, at least for a little bit of time now, what's happening to you—not the 'made of' you, not the one with the story. Right now, you. Right now, you. What is the world to you? What can touch you? What can hurt you? What can affect you? And stop worrying about these small, small quantities which are meaningless to your reality. And I mean by small, small quantities, I mean some of you may be experiencing some little bit of fear, some of you may be experiencing a little bit of love, some of you may be experiencing a little bit of bliss. Let it come. Don't be in opposition to anything. Experience it, but don't value it over yourself. You are discovering that in which the universe is born. You are discovering that in which the universe is born. Now you—the mind's nature is to value something very tiny and measly in your creation, and then you take yourself to be tiny along with that. No feeling will ever be bigger than your being. Any feeling can hold your being hostage? Cannot do it. Because then that feeling would be God. If there's a bigger God than being itself, then that we should bow down to. See, already sounds absurd, isn't it? Not possible. If anger could hold being hostage, then anger should be the greater God. If fear is holding your being, then fear is the greater God.

So look at these things. Laugh at them. As long as the mind is a comedian, it's okay. The instant you start to take it seriously, that's where you start to trouble yourself. What is fear to you? What is fear to you? What will it shake? Okay, let's look at these main things, main trump cards of the mind, and let's go one by one. Fear. How big can it be? It's really strong. The fear is really strong. How strong can it be? How strong can it go? Fully shaky, fully everything is shaking, so much fear. Are you shaking because of it? Is your manifest aspect, which is the being, shaking? Or is it just some sensational perceptions within your being itself, and your being remains untouched? Which one is it? Let's determine these things today so that at least you force the mind to come up with new tricks. Which one is it? It stops, but it also doesn't. Nothing is forever. So you see it stopping. So it comes, it shakes, it goes. Now, who is affected by shaking? It's shaking. Okay, suppose this is like your body and you're shaking because you're coming to self-recognition. It's all possible. Now, who is shaking? Body shaking means sensations seem to be vibrating in a particular way. Okay. So who's affected by it? Is your being shaking? Is that which is aware even of being shaken? Then who is it? Only the character in your story. 'Then I came to satsang and I saw myself, and after seeing myself, so much fear came for me.' Which me? Say more, me.

So can we throw this one out? Who can't throw this one out? 'The fear comes, but the fear is so strong.' Come through. Make a more powerful implosion. Are you still in fear of fear? Is it, 'Let me not challenge it because I'm saying I'm throwing it out, but what if it comes really strong?' Who's strong? Who's scared of this? Yeah. So now, no, now, now at least meet this bully. And even if you feel like, 'I am scared,' it's okay. Come up, expose it, and let's look at that together. We can inquire together and say, 'What will fear shake? Who will fear shake? What is here now which can be shaken up by fear?' Okay, so this one, this one gone. Fear. Then, 'It can't be that simple.' That's another trump card. 'Can't be that simple. Something must click.' Before the click, what you are is apparent to you. Or who's aware of the perception of this hand or the perception of this voice? That you? Or are you an instant pointer? Instant pointers—you can't use your head for it. You can't use any perception for it, and yet the truth is apparent.

So let's take: Are you aware now? Are you aware now? You are aware. That you which is aware, are you sure it is you? You're sure it is you? Everybody sure it is you? See, so this now—are you perceiving it? Do you have to think about it to confirm it is you? So that is what the sages have pointed to. That is yourself, aware of all perceptions, untouched. It is perceiving all things, yet itself cannot be perceived. Does not have any size, limitation, boundary. Cannot be thought about or perceived. It ticks all the boxes. The checklist is ticked, you see. All the checklist for self-recognition is ticked so simply. Now the mind will come and say, 'Can't be that simple. There are yogis, you know, standing on their heads for like hundreds of years not getting this. What are they doing?' So obviously then I must be very stupid, no, that I keep coming, I keep coming every week and pointing everyone to this. But those yogis standing on their head for hundreds of years must know something. What is your heart telling you about this? If your heart will confirm instantly, instantly, that it is this. This is it. You are it. You are enough. What you are finding is enough. The truth is universal and it is accessible to everyone, you see. So don't buy these stories of 'one in a million,' 'really tough,' 'very rare.' All of this self-recognition is super easy. It is to let go of these nonsense stories which may seem rare.

So when the mind comes and says, 'It can't be that simple. Really? Can... are you really saying that you have found the Self? Little old you has found the Self?' And it's leaking like the whisperer in your head, 'No, don't be arrogant.' You can notice yourself falling through this stuff. You know what to just throw away. Yes, throw away. This is the doubter's voice. 'You will find you? This is not even your third satsang. How dare you?' By the way, I am not asking anyone to make a claim. Claim: 'I have found it.' But actually, to be honest, I would prefer you make that claim than constantly be in this, 'No, I still have to stabilize. I'm almost there, Father. Please throw me off the cliffs, you know, finish me off.' You see all this stuff? You're finished. It's all done. Finished. You are aware. You are recognizing that you are aware. You are recognizing that this you is unperceivable. You are recognizing that it's beyond all concepts. It's the same one. There is no other. I know the doubter will say, 'No, no, but what Ananta has found is something different.' See, you may become shy to expose that, especially when I'm in this kind of mode. So you may become shy to expose that, but somewhere the doubters will come and say, 'He's being nice to you. What he has found, what Guruji has shown him, you are not yet finding. Please, let's get real.' No, that's what the doubter's voice will say. So that's all nonsense. That's all garbage. Throw it away. Everyone recognizes that it is I that is aware of my perception. I am aware. This I is apparent, although it is not perceivable. And you can be in wonder about this instead of going to your mind and trying to get yourself a certificate from the mind. You can be in wonder about this: how do I make this discovery?

What he has found, what Guruji has shown him, you are not yet finding. Please, let's get real. No, that's what the doubter's voice will say. So that's all nonsense, that's all garbage; throw it away. Everyone recognizes that it is I that is aware of my perception. I am aware. This I is apparent, although it is not perceivable. And you can be in wonder about this. Instead of going to your mind and trying to get yourself a certificate from the mind, you can be in wonder about this: how do I make this discovery? How are you making this discovery? How are you making it? Just know. You just know it. What is this 'just know'? I suppose I don't buy it. What is this 'just you just suppose'?

I am the mind, okay? Are you? You're saying, 'Yes, I am aware.' The mind is saying, 'Are you okay?' Don't say yes. Don't say it's saying that. Now I'm playing the mind voice. I am saying: How do you know that it is you? Are you seeing something like that? Have you seen this you? I haven't seen. So are you just thinking it is you? Then what is the basis for this confirmation? What do you mean? I'm very smart. Why can't I sleep? You can only intellectualize your perception. You can't even perceive as the mind. You can't even perceive; you can only narrate the perception. You can only subtitle your perception. Your perception.

So, when you doubt yourself, then can you not confirm like this? Instead of going with: 'It can't be that simple. You couldn't have got it. You are not worthy enough. You are not devoted enough.' Actually, you have a doubt yourself. You can never doubt yourself; you can only believe.

I'm happy to hear these words. And that which is—when you say being, are you talking about liveness, livingness? What do you mean by being? Wherever I am, in conversation, without conversation, very good, I am.

What are the other trump cards on my mind? Are you aware of—are you aware now? But you're still aware of that. It makes you fall asleep. Who is aware? It makes you fall asleep. Who is there to notice the change in state between waking and sleep? So even that, your awareness is undeniable. Otherwise you say, 'Who's aware of the perception of this hand?' I'm just trying not to fall asleep. But who's noticing even the attempt to try and not fall asleep and the absence of the sense of beingness which we call sleep state? 'Uh, but sorry, I fell asleep and for a few minutes I was asleep, then I woke up.' What are we saying? That I noticed that even this being dissolved within myself and then this being emerged again. See? But I noticed all this, but without perception. Beautiful, beautiful. So please fall asleep, it's okay. The absence of being cannot be perceived; it is only known. Exactly. This means something. Very good, very good.

She says, 'I may be finding this very simply.' I'm paraphrasing it. 'I may be finding this very simply, it may be apparent, but when that sensation comes which my mind narrates and says it is fear, then it is able to tell me the story that something is still blocked, something is not done, it's not finished.' You see? Because the masters, when I hear them, they don't seem to be speaking out of fear. They seem to be just full-on. So it tells you this story. Who's that story about? Is that story about the body? How do you make it about yourself? Just like, it comes with the story usually, yeah. So when we take the story to apply to I, as you know what I mean by I-thought, is that so? When you say, 'Okay, there's a story that there's fear, there's fear,' and then maybe sometimes it expands on the meaning of that: 'There's fear, that means that you're not done, it's not over for you.' This kind of idea, you know? And sometimes just to see if there's fear, you conclude because you've concluded many times before like that. So you just need to be convinced that 'I am feeling fearful,' you see, or 'There's fear that is affecting me.'

The appearance of fear in itself doesn't mean anything, isn't it? In actuality, in actuality, when it just appears, it's just like shaking. So did you stop being witnessing? Did you stop being? What happened? Let's really reconstruct this one also today. Suppose this is the last satsang. By buying the subtitle about it, you see, and then in that subtitle, it's not just about the fear because you just say, 'Oh, it's vibrating quite well today.' It's not like it mixes a relationship with the non-existent you that is a thought. It does the linked job between a perception. So 'me' is the non-existent, and unless there is a relationship being formed in the narrative between that which is perceived or imagined and the non-existent 'me,' you will not find that thought relatable. It will just be allowed to come and go, you see.

But when it says, 'Ah, I'm your friend, but I'm telling you that because this fear is coming, therefore you are not done yet, you are not doing it for you,' some notion like that, and the relationship is being formed between that vibration and the non-existent 'me.' And the 'me' is only made up of these false relationships. Without these relationships, what is the 'me'? A belief always has two variables: 'me' and something. See? 'I like this, I don't like this, I want more of this, this is fear,' you see. But we don't say 'this is fear,' we say 'for me this is' or 'this is so unfair to me.' Or even if you say globally to the world, because 'my world.' Nobody says 'this is so unfair to Jupiter.' You're only concerned because it is 'my world.' So 'me' is inserted in all these beliefs, and the 'me' is made up of just all of these beliefs. Without this relationship, what identity? We have seen the whole trick.

So perception comes—fear, or even the river joy. A joy may come and say—then the mind will say, 'Finally it looks like you got it, man. You got it. Finally you got it.' But remember that the relationship between the perceived joy expansion and the 'me,' you see, is still the non-existent one. The same guy. So don't determine either way, because in that determination you are inventing the non-existent 'me.' Taste everything. Come, taste, welcome, taste. Nothing is inherently bad to taste, actually. Good or bad is just categories we have made in our head. Taste everything, but don't make relationships. Those relationships, we all know. What else?

So the appearance of some so-called good appearances, also called bad appearances, means something about your discovery. That is the trump card which your mind can play. So forget about it. It can't be that simple? It has to be that simple because you're not using traditional instruments. There's no difficulty for intuition, therefore it has to be simple. It is not that your intuition has to struggle to grasp. It is not that the Satguru presence says, 'Today I'm having a bit of trouble, sorry, I can't show you the truth, you know, today's my vacation day.' So that is never something that can happen. So it's never difficult for your intuitive insight, for the Satguru presence, for the divinity in your heart. It is never difficult, therefore it is always action. So don't buy the idea it can't be that simple.

Second idea we discussed is: 'It can't be me because little old me is not good enough.' This is the realm of sages we are talking about—Bhagavan, Guruji, Papaji—all these great sages we are talking about. Where little—this is a very sort of 'you are unworthy, you're not devoted enough, you've not done enough, you've not inquired enough' kind of nonsense. So throw all that out. All the sages have told us that this is for all of us. It is universal. Only the garbage seems to block our vision. When the garbage is not taken to be true, this truth is apparent universally. So 'it can't be possible for me,' throw that out. Yeah, the opposite: that 'little me did get it.' Yes, thank you, throw that out also. It was you that you take yourself to be or represent yourself to be cannot get it. Why? It doesn't exist. The non-existent cannot meet the existence. So good, thanks. So throw that out also.

Then, it is not a concept for you to understand. The Self is not a concept that you will understand. Understood only that much that we need to understand: that we cannot understand it. It is beyond our understanding. It may hurt our ego to understand this, but please understand this: nobody is smart enough to fathom God. Please understand this. You can understand that you cannot understand; that is your highest understanding. Please understand this. So when the mind comes, 'But you didn't understand, everybody else is nodding but you didn't understand,' admit that it is not possible to understand, you see. Truth is impossible to understand, but it is impossible not to intuit. See? It is impossible for you not to intuit it correctly. So you did not understand it, but you intuit it. I know it's an unfamiliar word, but it's a useful word because if we say 'know,' then that gets confused with conceptual knowledge.

When you leave your head, what you know has to be the truth and truth alone. When you try to squeeze it into your head, it is never going to happen. That's what I'm saying. Behind all the fancy words, if you leave your head, you know everything about everything. I promise. I also promise you that you cannot use it for anything personally, you see. So your mind may say, 'It doesn't help me.' It's fine. It's not meant to help the non-existent.

Another trump card: 'When I'm sitting still in my room and in satsang, it's clear, apparently it's easy, but when I'm working, that's not as apparent.' In the story, it tells you the story that when you were at work, it was not about—but how many moments of work do you actually remember? You wake up, you may say, 'I had a full day of work.' How many moments do you remember? 'I remember that one moment my boss was shouting at me, it was not apparent, I wanted to strangle him.' Okay, that hit close to home. So many. But so, in that moment, what were you? What was your reality? Awareness went away, is it? Just because the body-mind plays a certain way doesn't mean that you have lost yourself, see? So stop using the outer activities of this expression as some sort of benchmark for your freedom. Otherwise, all of you will have to move around like this. Yes, see? That is how you'll convince yourself that this one must be free. Boss is shouting: 'Bless you, my child.' So don't wait for this kind of stuff to happen.

So then, confirm your freedom to yourself. This is this, both appearing in your realm of perception. Both are appearing. I will talk about Atma actually. But for the moment, what I'm saying is, is this not an appearance like the rest of it? Though check for your body. That body is as much an appearance as everything else. So don't make that mistake that everything is an appearance but this body. 'This body I control more than that body I control.' Okay, that's nonsense. It's actually fine. For the moment, it starts training. So what happens to many of us in satsang is that we put additional pressure on how this expression should play out. And everything else is Maya, is it? Is the trump card then? This is under your control, but everything else is just God's will? So this body sits out of God's realism? Again, from the mind. So all this illogical, absurd stuff the mind offers to us: that the whole universe is God's. Great. Now what are you going to do? What is this body going to do? Not part of the Lila? Can you notice? Include it. Included in mine, include it. It is very much part of the Lila.

So when it comes and says, 'Oh, if you were free, how are you getting angry? How could you have said this to that one? I mean, you can't be free.' The mind judges us in this way, see? That's why God has made every expression of the sage also unique in their own way. She gives us every possible expression so that we cannot zero in and say, 'Oh, but it has to be.' Now, we're looking at the opposite ends of both because both ways the mind gets you. You have to remain in neutral. The other thing that gets us: 'I am not doing anything, it's all consciousness.' So, 'Yeah, I went, I had twenty drinks last night and, you know, not me because it's all consciousness. My master says so.' Either representation—that you are the doer or you are the non-doer—if the reference point is about the non-existent one, don't buy it, because it's very, very rampant in a sort of conceptual adventure to buy into.

Looking at the opposite ends of both, because both ways the mind gets you, you have to remain in neutral. The other thing that gets us is: 'I am not doing anything, it's all consciousness.' So yeah, I went and had twenty drinks last night and, you know, not me, because it's all consciousness, my Master's too. So, either representation—that you are the doer or you are the non-doer—if the reference point is about the non-existent one, don't buy it. Because it's very, very rampant in a sort of conceptual adventure to buy into this notion, but 'I'm not the doer.'

One man who was coming to Guruji, and Guruji pointed very beautifully to him. He had a hiccup along his power, so when he came up on the hot seat, Guruji said, 'But why? Why can't you inquire into this?' He said, 'But nobody here to inquire. Who are you telling to inquire?' Something like that, confidently. This is the first satsang that I saw when I almost saw... I was watching Guruji for the first time. I was going to meet him; there was not enough space in the hall, so they put some TVs down under the staircase. I was watching this, which was happening live upstairs, and this conversation was happening live. There was no YouTube like that before this. So, watching this on the TV, I thought, 'I am going to run from here. This is not what they show on YouTube.'

This morning I woke up, this morning I had a child, this morning I did all of that. 'Oh, but can you ask yourself who you are?' 'No, no, I'm not the doer.' So, very convenient sort of non-doership protecting the ego. So, who was the 'you' that is not the doer? That's an important question to ask. Who is the 'you' that is not? Who is that 'you' that is not the doer? If you say that doesn't exist, then why do you take yourself to be that? 'I am not the doer.' So, 'I am not the doer' is very, very popular. I say, 'Who is that you?' That's not the guy. He says, 'I know that doesn't exist.' If it doesn't exist, why do you take yourself to be there? Take yourself to be the existing one. Like, 'Actually, I am the doer.' Yeah, feels like what? 'Then I'm doing everything' or 'I'm not going to do it.' Yeah, exactly, exactly. But it's just that belief, like, 'I'm so most important in that.'

So you may say, 'Actually, I am the doer of all of this as consciousness,' or you may say, 'I am the doer of all of this as the ego,' like Ravana syndrome, superego syndrome. It only... the only thing of importance is what are you referring to view yourself as. See, if it is the non-existent one, it is the false. You could also... you could also say 'I' for the truth and say, 'But I don't know anything about doer, what is doing?' There comes a point where doing, happening—all of these concepts lose their value. And then when people ask you to communicate something, you may say, 'But nothing has ever happened,' you see. So the expression and the words are not really important because it's not going to be logically coherent, you see. You must be able to allow opposites to coexist as long as you can smell where it is coming from, you see. Otherwise, you can't even be in satsang. No chance. If you're expecting intellectual coherency, you can never be in satsang because sometimes pointing is like that, sometimes pointing is like this. It all depends on what condition is being chopped. So don't make it an intellectual endeavor; just make it an intuitive endeavor.

And when I say 'smell,' that means just intuitively get a sense. When I say 'I'm not the doer' or I'm making some sort of excuses, then am I coming intuitively and then from the space of pure beingness or pure awareness? You may say, 'I've never done anything, I'm not the doer.' That has a different feeling than that sort of 'I am conscious.' You can smell it. Sorry, my acting is so bad, but smell it. Okay, there's some hands up. Let's go to Peter.

Hello, Father. Thank you. Before satsang today, there was a thought I should just come up and tell you how things are going, something like this, you know. Yes, there was a... there was intentionality that it needs still some vigilance, and there are some... if a seeming problem comes there, the point is helpful which you gave us: 'It's all Master's problem' and things like that. And now, in the light of what you were talking about, I think I found out this is also just a story. This is... every... when I'm trying to figure out a report about my spirituality, it's always... it's necessarily a story. The only true thing would be to say right now it's just open, empty, or... there are no limitations right now. It's yes, like this.

Yes, wonderful. That's the first time somebody's... he said, 'I wanted to come back and report, Father,' and you can, I mean, do that. But really, when we give it so much truth value, that 'this is what's happening with me,' can you see the trick now? The whole theme initially in satsang was this: the whole trick is to determine what is happening with you so that you can feel the small sense of control to plan the next move and say, 'Okay, so this is what's happening, I need to be more vigilant now, this needs to happen.' But the 'I' is the false one. A little bit puzzling at the moment is that in every... every of these reports, it's the false 'I'. It's sad. Yeah, I started saying try to insert awareness in the report, in the story. Yeah, then report from there. It can sound so absurd.

And you're going to be able to make it here? Oh no, what's happening? Yes, I'm literally planning for November. Oh yes, and let's hope that COVID doesn't spoil the whole thing. But we'll see. For the moment, it doesn't seem like... I don't know how it is in Europe, but now although some numbers are increasing in some places, most are just treating it like a normal cold. Let's see. That you can't predict. I have been exceptionally bad at predicting COVID here. Let's go to Jada.

Hello, Father. Wonderful to meet with you again. Can I see you? Thank you. Okay, now I can see you. I also just wanted to come, Father, just in front of you, just as how something it is without a story. You can't even say... I don't even want to say happy or peaceful, Lord, just... just like in the words of Peter, it's your words, Father. You teach... you taught us this. I just thought, yeah, you just brought us here. Yeah, just thank you so much. Yeah, I don't feel like nothing left to say. I'm just so happy to be with you here. Thank you for bringing me here. Thank you for everything.

Okay, let's go to Belen.

Hi, namaste. So, I felt to come up today. I'm feeling very good. I am... I'm feeling very good. Can you hear me? Now you're saying, 'I'm feeling very good.' Yes. Oh, good. Well, are you able to hear me okay? Yes. Ah, good. Um, yes, I'm feeling very good. Somehow I felt to come up today. And I mean, I was feeling to expose something that I feel has been traveling... troubling me a little bit this last time. It's as I sometimes see during the weeks like that, it appears a kind of worry about the material and like the life, the play of life. And so everything you told us just now about the satsang now, and this was like very specific to this for me. Yes, and I see like a... it brings like a lot of attention sometimes. Sometimes I don't see that necessarily it brings like identification. There is a lot of times that everything is like playing out very smoothly, but sometimes with activity and the feeling of giving too much, too much attention to the things going on and the plans for the future, sometimes this doubt or some... yes, some worry like comes.

Yeah, so in the allowing of everything to come and to go without making individualized meaning about that coming or going, that is just freedom. That's true. So don't judge yourself in any way because of attention. You said that sometimes attention does go, but there's really no belief or identification. That's fine. Consciousness plays with this Leela using its attention, so allow it to play whichever way it wants.

Yes, I see that. I see that. It's when there's something subtle there which... which may be getting converted into some sort of a subtle meaning because it is meaningful enough for you to like expose. So we can drill that a little bit and say, 'Okay, so what if... let's be in a scenario and say suppose that this feeling which you call worry, is it like some trepidation or worry just comes, and suppose it was to come all the time, then what would it mean?'

I feel it doesn't mean anything by itself. It's like this... the story I put. Yes, the meanings I give in relation to a narrative and a story that I'm playing out.

Yeah, very good. There's no fear about a particular sensation being repeated or life getting oppressed by some sensation, nothing like that?

No, it's maybe more specific. It's like there are some intentions for the future, like moving from home and this kind of stuff. And in relation to that, some... I feel that sometimes comes a sort of confusion in this sense of, as you were saying right now, if I'm the doer, I'm not the doer. Like, I always try to come to my intuition in relation to this play and...

Give me an example of an intention for the future, like moving to another house.

Ah, so if that intention... something was to happen to that intention, would you suffer because of it, or is it light?

Light. It depends. Maybe it brings some identification. Usually not. I feel like I can be open with that, but sometimes that could pull some suffering.

Okay, so every intention that you have which could poke you in some way, you give that to me right now. Okay? I'm not even joking, just give it to me. Thank you. And if it comes back and picks up some momentum in the future, just give it. It's a deal, okay? Because you can have... just to use English in some way, you can have preferences which make it seem a bit lighter, but sometimes intention can be a heavier word, you see. Although we can also say intention, it's okay. It all depends on the heaviness with which we take something. And the measure of heaviness is only that if it was to happen according to God's plan instead of the intention's plan, would we suffer because of that, you see? So if anything is heavy, have we handed that over to God, you see? And if you haven't yet handed it over, just hand it over in satsang. Just give it away.

Yes, so I think there's something little bit over there which you will unravel and pull out. That's good.

Then something like an intentionless existence is a part of that, you see. And yet in the play of communication, when we are talking to our family and friends and they say, 'What is your plan? You know, are you planning to move your house?' then we say, 'Yeah, I have a plan and I'm going to move my house.' But that is not troublesome unless if it was not to happen that way and it will happen according to God's plan, which is the only plan there is. If there is a plan, then we would not worry about it or suffer from it. And we are allowed to carry that just for communication purposes, knowing fully well in our heart that only God's plan will play out no matter what, how much we propose the plan for this life to be.

Yes, if there's a plan like that or an intention like that which you feel like, 'Oh no, no, I really wanted to go like that,' you see, please... 'this I know, this I know.' So we are making a claim to knowledge, actually. We say that we carry a strong intention or a strong preference; we are claiming that 'I know better what should happen' or 'my head knows better what should happen in this life.' So that is a false claim, and all falsity we must surrender. Can we have an intention that life should go only this way without the claim that 'I know better than God, the mind knows better than God'? We cannot. So therefore, we must give up this false... slightly, likely. Mother asked you, 'What's your plan?' 'Ma, I'm gonna shift houses.' It's okay. This is okay. So it's not like 'I don't know because God is planning.' Your idea is not to worry; you just have this light, light communication. It's okay. Just follow your heart in that moment, it is okay. But once it becomes like, 'Please, please God, it has to go that way because...'

Go only this way without the claim that 'I know better than God.' The mind knows better than God? We cannot. So therefore, we must give up this false... slightly likely. Mother asked you, 'What's your plan?' 'Ma, I'm gonna shift houses.' It's okay. This is okay. So it's not like I don't know, because God is planning you. Your idea is not to worry. You just have this light, light communication. It's okay. Just follow your heart and that moment it is okay. But once it becomes like, 'Please, please God, it has to go that way because what do you know? I know where my life should...' then that must be different.

Yes. Um, maybe the last question is about how to guide oneself in this kind of intentions or... um, yeah. I feel like intuitively I move smoothly with these things, yes. But in it also sometimes like comes the mind like saying like, 'Well, this is taking too long' or this kind of stuff. And there is where identification and the trouble begins. But yeah, but if it's okay to just be open with this moment to moment?

Yes, must be. It's fully okay. It's better than okay. Must be like that. Moment to moment, trust your heart. Even if the heart is silent, because that is where the rubber hits the road. Trust your heart even when it is silent. See what happens is that our mind is saying, 'Do this, you have to decide now.' You go to the heart, you know, 'My Father and my heart will guide me.' The heart is not saying anything. Nothing. Not left, not right, nothing. Not even that 'Everything will be okay, my child.' Nothing. Sometimes like that. Many times guidance doesn't come, but at least the reassurance comes from the heart. 'It's okay,' you know, like that. But often even that reassurance doesn't come. It's just... that's when we really have to trust. Trust the silence, because the silence is also guidance. The silence is also guiding. So trust it no matter what, even when it is... especially when I decide already it was all fine.

But there's... it's even still, yeah, it's persistent, like niggling of something earlier. Like some doubt in myself, like about the story. Has nothing to do with like just what is, and it just seems to like ruin everything. I don't know if I'm even worrying everything how I would have done. It's just coming out like this. It's frustrated. Maybe when then you helped out still, sorry.

So one of my master keys, one of my master keys is to describe and not explain. Just describe what is happening right now instead of explaining what is happening. Okay?

Um, just a feeling. Feeling, a thought.

As soon as possible, as slowly as possible. So there's a feeling. Zero into that feeling completely. Zeroing. How big is that feeling? Yes, don't explain anything.

So there's a tiny feeling in your head. Then what is... um, reminding, a reminding through words.

Tell me, tell me what is saying.

No, I can't say.

So then it is not there.

It's too horrible. You just send me a private message. Yeah, very, very... what? Violent? Or is it very what? What is the theme?

Yeah, just um, hard to look at... image. Um, if this is what stops me from coming up as well because it's like, 'Oh, you'll have to explain.' And so therefore it stops me from coming to speak.

I see it. Yeah. You look at everything as it is and that can seem a bit difficult, but it will give you so much space, so much relief from all of this. You see, because what happens is there's a beautiful garden. Beautiful. In the garden, the mind says, 'There is that insect which spoils everything every time.' This is the mind narrative, you see. And actually, there is not even an insect. Everything is part of the garden itself. So when I say just describe, we are able to see, 'Ah, there's a tiny feeling.' As irritating as it may seem, tiny feeling. But the trouble is... what is the trouble? It is the thought which is saying something, and then it was saying, 'Don't expose that because that's horrible. What are people going to think about you if you expose?' But you are not creating that part. That thought is arising, isn't it?

Yeah, but it goes worse still. Not only is it just an image you're witnessing or a thought, but it's that I'm engaging with it in some way. That I like the thought or I believe the thought or I've engaged with it and it's happened so many times and it happens over and over again. And yet somehow still... how it still has some pull to make me like this still just now.

Good. It's good you're getting all this out. Firstly, it's good. I'm sorry everyone, you know, it's very good. I mean it fully when I'm saying it's very good. So, so what it is saying is that now what is even worse is that you're even believing these thoughts. Now it is even worse that you are believing these thoughts, you see. And you heard in satsang for years that you should not believe these thoughts, isn't it? Isn't it so? Are these not thoughts that you're believing?

Yeah, but it's... I don't know if it's some faith. These thoughts are claiming to be true about you and these thoughts are giving you even more trouble than the original thoughts which you are apparently believing.

Yeah. First, don't believe these thoughts. Then, 'I'm hopeless because I'm still believing these thoughts.' See, this is what I call the one-two punch of the mind, which uses the spirituality itself against you to oppress you. So the one punch is a vicious-sounding thought, and I'm sure it's not terrible, but it will convince you that it is terrible. So you believe that. Then it comes and says... there's a two punch that, 'Look at you, you're so hopeless. You're not getting anywhere. No point coming to satsang because you are still believing your thoughts.' Now this is also a thought, but this is the knockout punch. It is the thoughts about the thoughts which are now grabbing you because the mind is smart enough to know because in satsang you hear, 'Don't believe your thoughts,' you see. 'Now I'm going to use that itself to trouble you. Look at you, still believing thoughts. Hopeless, hopeless.' No, this is how it sounds. Now, without this thought, what are you?

Well, as... as you were like speaking before, like just... it's just beautiful. It's just nothing.

Yes. But what are you aware of? That irritating doubt which is ruining being able to, if I'm honest, to stay as that. To stay there, to just be myself. Because there's still like, 'Maybe I'm not pure in some way' or there's some like some horrible thing.

Yeah, yeah. Now there's so many versions of you in that one. Before, let's go... the first one was the one that is aware. The first one was the one that is aware. Now, are you aware right now? In spite of all this, are you aware of not-me?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Very good.

So that one which is aware, tell me about that one. Because I know on your behalf and as a full fact that there is no other one, you see. So tell me about the true one, the one that is over there. What's happened to that one?

No, thank you. Nothing.

So who are you crying about? Not that it is bad to cry. It's okay. So much. Who is the one that you are upset about?

Because just I was aware in these moments too. I was... 'Keep with your breath, keep with your breath.' And then it was making the comments, making the comments. 'Keep pure, keep beautiful.' And then at some point during that it's like... I don't know if it's the horror that something could be true. Like, what if it ever was and you became unconscious and you'd done something awful? Or, oh, but what if I actually just did? But then it's always the same at the end. I don't know, I'm never sure.

Okay. And who is this one that's not sure? So what is happening is that the false one is also trying to participate in your spiritual party and the path towards progress and growth and all of this stuff. And then it is just the trickster. The trickster says, 'You were going so well and now look at you.' Who should you look at? And it says, 'Look at you, the body.' Or the one that is aware? What if every time we were to make a judgment about ourselves, any time we were to make an evaluation about ourselves, we make a true evaluation on the true one? What if life was like that? I said, 'Look at you now.' Say, 'Okay. Oh, pure Atma itself. Is it true?' Utopian what I'm saying. 'Look at you, you are going so well.' Oh, let's look. Pure awareness. No well, no bad. Then the mind's oppressive judgmental tool can be flipped around. No, it will stop saying 'Look at you' because it doesn't want you to inquire. It just wants you to presume. Write this: only believe the story that belongs to you, not the mind.

Yeah. Didn't you? That was nice. Yeah.

Yes. So now only believe the story that belongs to you, not the mind. Tell me what that story is. Is this... this thought, this worthiness that someone deserves or not? The true one, can you be worthy or unworthy?

But it catches and then that's what... um, someone has to go back and check. And then going back to check is actually the completely the thing you don't want to do, but you feel like you need to investigate. And then it's another horror and then another... it's a loop.

In all of this process, what is happening to you? There's a bit of mixing still happening. You can notice it. They notice it that it's becoming clear that you are aware that you have this... this awareness is becoming apparent. The other mind comes and tells you, 'But it's not always like that, you know. These things still get you and you have to then go through a process. What kind of freedom is that?' Yeah, but there's a difference in the first representation and the second representation. The first representation, you are discovering that you are just this awareness. The second representation, you are being made to believe that you are the body-mind again. So only believe the story which is true about you, not from the mind. Let's try again. What's true about you, my dear? If it is true, it must always be true. That is one motive for all of you. If it is true, it must always be true. That which comes and goes is not true. It lacks. What's true about you?

Yes.

Where can we go? Firstly, like I ask all of you this question, tell me something true about you. Where can we go for that answer? Not the mind, that's for sure. That's it. That's it. That's the end of suffering. That simple answer is the end of suffering. The minute you go for a self-evaluation from the mind, then you're taking yourself to be that one which is the troublemaker itself. It's like sending the invitation to the one who's going to mess up your house and then saying, 'Why is my house in such a mess?' So to go for a representation to that which can never represent you well, only represent you as the false one, is doing weight suffering. There's nothing to say here that doesn't feel bad at all.

Yes.

And even if there was a feeling that we call bad, then does that... does that affect you in your reality? Or what happens? Like, is there an inherently bad feeling? Let's solve that first. A feeling, a category of feelings which is inherently good and a category of feeling which are inherently bad. Has God done this disservice to God, saying it is going to undergo like some bad stuff when it is playing with this word? What would bad have to be to be really bad? Like we would substantively do something to the being. Isn't it? Something had to appear which can tangibly do something to the being itself where it appears for it to be inherently bad. Can any feeling do that? Put it very simply. Can anything?

No.

So then what can be good or bad? It's all the mind's 'I want this' and 'I don't want this.' Because someone can say it's not nice or this and the other, but then if we're not taking any of that to be what we are, then you can see this one and it's not, it's not. And do you have the power as consciousness to take yourself to be what you're not, and therefore have the power to not take yourself to be that which you are not? Yes. It's not about being brave or respecting yourself or loving yourself, but maybe that can have its place as well, I guess. In some, that can come automatically as a by-product.

Yeah.

These are the usual by-products, but we don't have to do something for that, you see. Love, peace, joy, all of these are there to serve you, to serve the true you, you see. But we don't have to chase them because the minute we chase them, we are representing ourselves not as their master but as their slave. They're already here.

No, it's not about being brave or respecting yourself or loving yourself, but maybe that can have its place as well, I guess. In some, that can come automatically as a by-product. Yeah, these are the usual by-products, but we don't have to do something for that, you see. Love, peace, joy—all of these are there to serve you, to serve the true you, you see. But we don't have to chase them, because the minute we chase them, we are representing ourselves not as their master, but as their slave. They're already here, but you are beyond. I don't want to say beyond caring because that sounds a bit strange, but you actually are reality. It's like saying, 'Oh, do I have to make sure my shadow is always there?' It's always there. You don't have to check on it. If you check on it, it means that it could go away, and then that can make you fearful about it.

Consciousness is doing a job fully well, and those forces which are meant to be in its service are always going to be there. We don't have to worry about any of this. God's kingdom is always perfect, excepting the narratives. If you had no idea about how you should be or how you should not be, then how would you trouble yourself? Fear comes—ah, God's gift. Anger comes—God's gift. Joy comes—God's gift. Bliss comes—God's gift. Everything is God's gift to God. If we stop playing the moves, if we stop asking for something over something else as if we know what is better, then we couldn't trouble ourselves at all. We're not to run scared from anything that can appear here because, in our reality, we cannot be hurt in any way.

So, what happened? Grief will come. What is the worst-case scenario? Grief will come. So, isn't grief also sweet in some way? Isn't there a sweetness to the taste of grief when it is not met with the mind, through the lens of the mind? Fear will come, anger will come, lust will come—all this will come. So, it doesn't hurt our reality in any way; it only hurts a construct called the self-image. We made a category saying, 'This is what my set of experiences should be like; nothing else allowed,' you see. So, there should only be Mr. Joy, Mr. Gratitude, this Ananda—all this stuff should be there. Anytime somebody else wants to enter, there's some grief—'No, you can't come, you're not allowed because I'm spiritual now.' But who's sending that? Who's creating them? For who is it made? All the tastes are made by God for God to taste.

So, just be open. Allow everything to come. Be empty of judgment. Be open, allowing all perceptions to come. And when any judgment enters, when you speak, it triggers them. Like, an image might come and then the reaction sometimes is to be like this. Yeah, so be like that. Don't say anything is bad. Just reaction comes; being like that comes. All is witnessed by you; nothing is happening to you. Don't have this idea that freedom looks a certain way. We were joking about this earlier: 'If I was really free, I'd just feel like chanting.' But is that some kind of fear? Is it not like a fear? You don't have to diagnose anything. Just don't do anything. Just become really stupid about everything. What is this? What is that? What is this and what is that?

If I was to do this at work or something, they'll say I'm crazy. But after that, if they get over there, they will try to decipher it and say what you're trying to say with this or something. Because we hate feeling stupid. We want to know everything in the mind. We want to translate everything. So, which one is good and which one is bad? Left is good or right is good? I give you the answer first, you see.

Using the nature, still something is tempting. So, don't determine the nature of anything. Just find... and don't determine whether you allow me to say you'll be just fine. You go and say, 'I'll be fine or not.' Then the mind fully has no legs to stand on, because its whole nature is to determine the nature of things. And if you do honestly audit your mind and ask, 'What do you really know? Really? Like you could bet your life on it?' What would you really mean in your head? Tell me one way. Nothing. Even that we don't know. And that is not bad news; it is freedom. Okay? Best weighing scale on the market—best weighing scale on the market—can they tell me the distance between Bangalore and Delhi? Does that mean it's not good? It's a terrible language. Suppose you have the best mind in the universe; your best mind cannot determine the nature of God. So stop forcing. It's not going to get anywhere, and it seems to block your headlessly.

What is wrong? What is missing? Is it not apparent who you are without your head? Does it feel like you're just a perception like this? This body, without your head, are you just this body? It is apparent you are not. You are that which is witnessing all of these perceptions. It is so simple, so apparent, so clear. Then what is all this chasing for? What is it going to take to keep the weighing scale down? How many satsangs? The thing is that even in the words of satsang, you may be adding parameters to the weighing scale: 'How open am I? How many thoughts am I using?' All this. It's not that. Just leave it.

But why do they look like you have a 'but'?

No, no, good. What if fear comes? Who can fear her? The biggest fear of the universe. Suppose there's a delivery marked out towards you. What is the delivery service in the UK? Is it Royal Mail? Okay, Royal Mail package with the biggest fear, biggest quantity of fear ever seen, with your name on it. Royal Mail is sending it. So, what does that mean for you? Nothing. Nothing. Oh, wonderful. Don't even try to confirm anything. Thank you.

Okay, now my question or my request for guidance is about some stale energies. And what I have tried to do is not to interpret them or try to fix them in any sort of way.

Oh, can you repeat the question? How do you know that they are stale? Did they have a manufacturing date on them?

I don't know if 'stale' is the right word. It's like, I try not to put... you know, it's like, okay, my mind is going to categorize them as like a depressed type of energy or I don't know.

See it for yourselves now. If it is there now... it's not? It went away? But there was... there is some sort of investment from here and attachment, and I knew it's going to go away. So I was even waiting for the satsang to start.

So, they don't resist in your life. Suppose that things by themselves were inherently good or bad—who could they hurt? Like, who doesn't want them there? There is no one to be hurt. Okay, the end. Next time I'll raise my hand up first. Was I more indulgent with the ones who came earlier? No, no, no. It's more like when it's there, I can't say we can work with it, you can help me inquire. But now, because it's not there, the whole reason why I have the monologue mostly in the beginning... I know, I don't know.

Okay, how can one be really vigilant about their own thoughts during sleep? Okay, tell me, what is it? What is it that the sages must have seen? It must be seen that they keep saying, 'Give me everything.' You see, if there's something inherently bad, then they must be really stupid to say, 'Give me everything.' No? Because who wants to feel bad all the time? How do I see? Like, you see, when I go into this state...

Yeah, that's what I'm showing you throughout satsang. No, no, I'm trying, but sometimes a nice, important tool is to... what I was just saying: just describe, don't explain. True. This is what I try to practice. When you see, when you just describe, you will see nothing is inherently bad or good. Nothing is fresh or stale. It is only in the narrative that it creates past and future. But I'm grateful I raised my hand.

One master key I want to give you is that: return to your innocence where you don't know anything about anything, before you ate the apple of knowledge, and remain like that even after that. Amen. Okay, let's go to Sanji.

Hello. I don't hear you, my dear. Are you saying something, Sanji? Now it's good. Yes. Okay. Um, I think I just wanted to come up in front of you today. I haven't paid much attention to what you've been saying, but still, I mean, something is coming in. And yeah, I think I've been trying to figure out in my mind a lot what's happening with some situation in my life and some relationships. A lot of like just storytelling. Usually some relationship and all of that—that's one of the favorite topics.

Yes, and it's been triggering a lot of things inside. And there's just a feeling to say that I don't want to protect anything and I give it all to you. And so basically, yes, I want to see also that it's very well spotted because as we are trying to squeeze out those in our head about everything in life, see, most of us have become so habituated that we don't realize that it's a flawed process. So to be able to spot that—that 'I've been trying to figure out things,' you see—is very, it's very good. That's very good. So when you spot it, just drop it. Okay? You have to play out that way for some time, but now after beginning, there'll be moments where you spot it: 'Damn, this is some craziness happening in the world and I'm trying to squeeze all of that into my head and try to find some rationality, some answers, some resolution, some fixing happening through my head,' you see.

And most of the world is addicted to that. At least after coming to satsang, we can see, 'Oh, this is what we're going to do.' We are trying to say, 'Oh, this move means that, moves mean that, this is it.' So I've understood. And the minute we conclude nonsense like this—that 'I've understood'—the world starts dancing in a different way. Shiva is dancing the dance in a different way. So then we say, 'Oh, this move changed.' It's like this, you see. So that is making us tired. And we are doing this because we are fearful of not knowing what to do next. Why do we want to figure out this dance? Not that we are some great scientist, you see. Not that we are some great scientist so we are that curious, 'How does this world work?' We only want it so that we can make use of it, take advantage of our understanding, and plan our next move, you see.

Now you are discovering that the head is too small to fathom this world, to fathom God, to fathom any truth. So from moment to moment, you're starting to see that 'this is what I'm trying to do.' So that is good. Just spot that. That is good.

Thank you. And I know I already have, but I just want to ask for your blessing to drop, because sometimes it's very strong.

This blessing I give unhesitatingly, because you cannot carry, actually. The moment is dropping it for you. Carry something now. Carry what's your name right now, before the click. What's your name? What's your name? Yes. It's the mind that has to work hard every time. 'This is what's happening to you, but don't forget, okay? This is what's troubling.' But you forget every moment. It's the poor mind which has to come seemingly succeed, reminding the story hundreds of times in a day and giving you this memory that you're going through a rough time, you see. When you go to sleep, all forgotten. It just can't win, the ego. It's hopeless. So you're already on the winning side. There's no trouble. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I had something I wanted to say before, but I don't know if it's still so alive.

Speak from your heart. Don't worry about what you believe as their silence. Trust that silence. That's the whole encapsulation of satsang in 30 seconds.

Okay, I can say for myself, it's like there's a lot of the time there's, like you said earlier in the beginning, like there's a lot of thoughts and a lot of things about failure. That's like a big, big, big thing. Like spiritual failure. And like the thoughts come while I'm listening or I'm just by myself, like, 'Oh, like you're not doing this correctly, you're failing.' Like I said, look at all the stuff you have. And yeah, this happens strongly and very, very, very often.

Oh, there are two moves. Satsang is all about these two moves. When some false representation about yourself is happening, you can either inquire into it and say, 'Who is this about? Who is failing? Who is not worthy? Who is not good?'

A big thing like spiritual failure and like the thoughts come like while I'm listening or I'm just by myself like, 'Oh, like you're not doing this correctly, you're failing.' Like I said, look at all the stuff you have and the... yeah, this happens strongly and very, very, very often.

Oh, there are two moves. Satsang is all about these two moves. When some false representation about yourself is happening, you can either inquire into it and say, 'Who is this about? Who is failing? Who is not worthy? Who is not good enough? Who's not getting it?' Or you can just give it to me. Whatever seems more natural at the moment, you can do that.

It feels like giving it to you. It's natural from right now.

That's what I'm here for. And all these elephants, we can hope they can carry all the load. Each one is for one of you, whatever you're carrying. So this is the Salah one. You don't need to carry over any of them. But remember that you're not just giving up the experience of it, the concepts of it, the doership about it, but also the experiencership about everything. Who is doing, who's experiencing, what it means when it happened, what should happen now—everything. Not just peace means not just, 'Okay, I want to give up the fear and the anger and you know, but I want to keep the last, I want to keep the joy, I want to keep the bliss,' you see. I want to keep that, yeah. So everything, everything is then my problem and for me to experience is none of your business. And then what happens when you make everything none of your business? Then this 'you' itself dissolves. Everything is it. If everything is only my business, then only I exist.

Do I give you... do I give... I must give the doubt also, right? Everything, everything. Half surrender is not surrender at all. It's just a convenience surrender. Surrender everything, everything. Especially that which you think you value. It cannot just be a convenient surrender. It'll be nice if, you know, another can take the bad stuff, then I will actually just keep the good stuff. Who wouldn't want that? But then everything should be my problem. Come fully empty. Empty. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you.

Oh, so nice. Yeah, lots of joy. There has been during this satsang many impulses to raise hand. Yes, yeah. Um, because mostly it's about stories and yeah, but actually it came with grief and um, yeah, because um, I know you love... you say mostly you love about stories and relationships. Yeah, you said something like that. Well, um, just to say because I've been watching two movies. Yes, I love these kind of things. Yes, and and really, um, there's so much gratefulness because the new... well, I have to say the new way things are looked at now is so... those two movies, one is about Hawking. Do you know this scientist? Yes. Oh, he had charcoal disease and he's still... he's still alive actually. And the movie is called, um, A Wonderful Brief Story About Time. And wow, this is so enlightening to listen to what is said and what is... because actually his thing was to try to find the one equation that would, um, a unified theory. The unified theory which could explain everything. Yes, the entire universe. It was this very interesting, interesting thing that he didn't believe in God, but he got married to this woman who was really... and it's so rich when you look at that and the way... I haven't seen that one yet. I'm gonna see this now.

It's a beautiful one. And then there is this other one which is a science fiction one, Zoe it's called, about artificial intelligence. And wow, I'm looking at this, the idea of that. Have you heard Zoe? It's on Netflix. It's... then the project there in artificial intelligence is to improve relationships, to share more. But if I share more, then I spoil it for you. But listening to the dialogues as consciousness and it says some bosses, oh my god. So, so either the... anyway, so the movie about Stephen Hawking is the wonderful story of time or something like that. Because books, Brief History of Time, yes, that. And we see him in the film, but I think it's called the wonderful... I'll check and I'll send it to group. If it's not that, it's something like that. And um, yeah, so it felt very... there was this urge to share that because it's so interesting to yeah.

Actually, we also have a list of movies which are very much like satsang. We have it somewhere, maybe in the heart, although on Facebook, visited Facebook, but I'm sure we can find it and post it again. We do keep posting it on the WhatsApp groups.

Oh yes, because it's so enjoyable. Maybe, maybe it's time to update that list. I love your feedback about the what you perceive is because especially Zoe, I mean, I was wow. And before it would have been looked at how awful, how... and then it was like, ah, when you listen to what is said, what is conveyed. I mean, it's it's the same as looking at life unfolding now. It's... there's always this... I know there's no one who is amazed, but there's oh wow. Whether it comes in in blissful moments or um, not so nice moments or whatever. But when at some point there is like revealed um, something, I don't know.

Yeah, and talking about relationship, the other um, something very um, how to put that now? It's um, it's got to do with Christ. It's got to do um, um, because how to put this... um, there was this this um, it was being observed that um, the relationship of the disciple to Guruji was... there was this this tremendous moments of love and it's it was always related with Christ. And whenever he... words of the Bible come and and what hadn't been seen is that... and there was a lot of joy coming with this, but this story was also linked to and there was this this... of course there are these past lives and they were very much aware of these past lives with Christ 2000 years ago and this. And as this one was sitting at some point it came, you know, grief. But this is this is a memory and what is the essence of a memory? And it really came with um, like I really can't really express. It's like it maintained Christ consciousness outside. It maintained Guruji as uh, yeah, outside. And can't really express what after spotting it... was this this conceptual barrier then dropped?

Yes, yes, that's it.

But it was really grief, grieving. There was so many tears. It was really grieving for it. It's so weird. I mean, there's nothing which is not real. There's nothing what which is not weird. Yeah, no, but I mean you can get... I mean this identification can come in such subtle ways of things very um, forever you.

Hello, can you hear me? Yes, yes, yes. We just, you know, I've not really had nothing. There's so much going on from so many different perspectives. Um, so to say something really significant I'm not able to because it's all happening all at once. Yeah, you say something really significant, I don't find anything because there's a these these pointers are just floating all over the place from your pointers and from Moojiji's pointers and and so really don't... but but there's a there's a there's a yearning to uh for for I can't even say for what because uh there's a sense that that which is, you can't really get it. It's not to the mind, can't get it.

Yes, the pointer which is coming right now, all that all that I can say is now what is coming now to understand: stop trying to understand and don't even try to find a point. Nothing. At least now report from there.

There's really nothing to report really from there.

It's very beautiful because right now there are temples, such a movie is playing out in front of you. But when we are lost trying to find meaning or relevance or value in our heads, you're missing this beautiful creation of God. Nothing right now is troubling you. Nothing right now except if you have an image about ourselves, if you have a story about ourselves, then that can get poked. And because if that didn't get poked, then ego would be eternal.

Yeah, there's a... you were saying but not up here, but it's it's making sense. I don't know where it's making sense, but it's uh it's uh it can't be... this is not a place really, but it's just here.

That's why it's heart-to-heart conversation. It's actually coming from your own heart, from your own presence, to remind you that this divinity, this intuitive inside, this Guru presence is always with you. You just need to turn towards it in some metaphorical way of speaking. It's just when you start to understand, welcome to construct our theory of what is happening and what should happen, then this becomes so clear and apparent. I mean, these these pointers are, you know, if they are... sometimes I think that they are just part of grace that they come and remind. Like what comes now is like I've heard so many times and something feels so nice to hear hear it through Mooji's mouth which is like that that which is... let's pause now. Something gets mixed and that's just like a fear we have because we need to get, we need to find some representation of what's happening to be able to determine what is happening to me, to us, what is happening here. So don't fall for that mixing. Allow yourself to be all heart. Allow yourself to be your heart. Nothing will go wrong. Nobody don't understand. Don't be scared of being stupid. We don't understand. Yeah, don't determine the nature of anything because your determinations of the nature of something will just create a boundary around your own self. Nothing is what you think. Don't worry about what anything is. It is already known fully in your heart.

I've been saying, I don't know whether I said in the broadcast, that either you know everything fully or you know nothing at all. Don't grasp that piecemeal thing because that is the nature of the mind to give you this little bit of order from time to time saying, 'This is how this is, this is how that is, this is what you are, this is what you are not.' Don't grasp. I then know everything right now, everything about everything in time and space and beyond, or know nothing at all. The mind is... it's always it's always is changing, trying to control the circle. Even the mind's report about the mind itself, don't know, because that's also piecemeal knowledge, you see. Either eat the whole pizza or don't eat at all. Don't pick up rupees, gulp it at one shot. Aspect of your own selves where every knowledge about everything is present. The only seeming problem of that aspect is that you can't use it personally. Yeah.

Okay, and that and that and that and that's exactly what the mind does. Use this, use your insights about the pristine truths to try to make it applicable to the non-existent person. And that is what this is called, the piecemeal knowledge that I'm talking about, the slice of the pizza which we are trying to eat. But that makes it just so limited and gives us the idea that I am a limited team. So forget about that. In your heart fully everything is known. The universe is nothing but a tiny minor appearance for you and everything which seems so mysterious and unfathomable is fully clear to you in your heart. See? So this mind, the struggling mind, can keep dancing. You don't worry about it.

I can I can relate to what you're saying every word because it's it's it's it's like saying something is saying how how this can be useful for me. Exactly. This is the... it's it's wants to use this this this nectar for its own own to make circumstances. How to stop, how to stop that?

Just headless, headless, headless is... this can't, this can't, this really can't be understood. It can't be understood. You can only understand that, understand that it can't be understood. That's good enough. See, if understanding, conceptual understanding, was all that you had, if conceptual understanding was all that you had, then all of us would try to squeeze everything into your conceptual understanding. But because you are the ocean and not this drought, we don't worry about how much we have understood. We let go of this draw of of reliance on this job for some true understanding to make that which is the stone house of all intelligence, all language, and that in that which emerges from this earth is fully known.

If conceptual understanding was all that you had, then all of us would try to squeeze everything into your conceptual understanding. But because you are the ocean and not this drop, we don't worry about how much we have understood. We let go of this reliance on this drop for some true understanding, to make that which is the storehouse of all intelligence, all language, and that which emerges from this earth fully known in your heart, you see. So why lament? Why lament that my this little mop is not getting it? You are the ocean itself; you are not that drop. Otherwise, we go on using this weighing scale to measure distance.

Thank you. Okay. My computer also needs objects, the people. That's right. I've seen everyone in so long. Thank you for the air that I can breathe. Thank you for the song you're giving me. Thank you for the simple life I know. Thank you for the pain of the tingle. Thank you for the... I don't wanna... everybody knows. Thank you for this holy family. Thank you, my beloved. Thank you for this. Thank you for my son, you see. Thank you for the suffering. Thank you for the times. I won't give up. I... everybody knows.

Gallery! My gosh! These are my people, no? These are my people. This is the view I'm used to. Amba's coming soon. Amba's coming soon. Okay, falafel! Oh my gosh, this is so cool. George, you want to see? Ah, she's gonna come to India soon, yep. It's so cool. Harsh, who else is on there? Is she in Portugal? I don't know, ask her. Where is she? Are you in Portugal?

She doesn't know we're talking here, or maybe if not, mute her. There she is! Yes, hello! Yes, I am. Ah, cool. Yes, beautiful. I'm a little Sahaja in little Sahaja, yeah. Yes, it's beautiful. Oh, there's no one else. There's something, there's more; they just have their cameras off. Yeah, she translates for Mooji. Is he there? Where's Adrian? She's going to Portugal.

Thank you. This is what I knew for like two years before I got here, you know it in reality. Okay, thank you all so much for being in satsang. So you...