Your Starting Point Is Freedom - 18th December 2020

So it's very reassuring in a way. I don't need to practice anything. I am the self. Especially awareness, I cannot practice; in fact, I cannot let go of it. But I am still going to another question and say, okay, so if the self is always there and the self is pure awareness, then how do I stop practicing the false which seems to get in the way, seems to only get in the way of the recognition of our reality which is ever-present? So let's clarify this once properly, properly. What does Bhagavan mean when he says all we have to do is stop practicing the false?

So right now we have an advantage because right now—not because you're in satsang, but because every moment is like that, you see—you have an advantage because you're completely free right now. Don't wait for any mental confirmation of that. I have told you for now, and that is enough for now. You are free right now. Okay, this is the self, this is awareness, already there. There is nothing you can do to change that. You are the self. Okay, now try to practice the false. Today we are here, we are—our project is reversed. We're not going to practice the truth; we will try to practice the false. Okay, you're too free right now. Come on, get bound again. Get bound again. How will you do it? Still all of you looking too free right now. Come on, make some orange juice in your head. Think of some problem to solve. How will you become free? Come on, how will you get freedom? How many lifetimes will it take?

You see, it's not easy when we say it like that, is it? Because the freedom keeps pulling you back. You're trying to think, think, think what to do now. Is it? So this is hard work, this is practice. To be free is effortless in this instant. In this instant, who are you right now? You see, you don't even have to think about it. In fact, it's pointless to think about it right now. Who are you? Are you not awareness? You are. So you didn't have to practice to get there. It is just naturally there. You can't say there and here, of course, but just to use some language, you see. Now, you figured out how to practice the false? No? So you're just too free, is it?

Now let's see. In the next five seconds, I want you all to believe a thought about yourself. I'm counting now. One, two, three, four, five. Did... how many did? Put your hand up. Oh, good job, good job. So, the rest of you are too free. Come on, I'll give you one more five seconds. One, two, three, four, five. Rest of you, you've got a thought about yourself you believe? Still the same one this first time, you see. So this identification, this belief, this apparent knowledge which you gave your ascent to and you said, 'Yes, this is valid, this has truth value,' you see, this is how you practice the false. Because I can guarantee you, and I've heard every single thought possible in the last eight years, I can guarantee you no matter how wonderful that thought was or is, it does not truly represent you.

So it's always a step down, never a step up. And this is radical because most of us end up believing that I am in the personal state and I have to go to a higher thought which is a step up, you see. But actually this is never true. Your naturalness in your organic clearness, you're way higher than any concept can encapsulate. So whatever you end up thinking about yourself, whatever you end up believing about yourself, is always a step down from that, you see. And that is called ignorance, that is called conditioning, that is called vasanas. So there are ideas that we have perpetuated and believed for a long time and nurtured them with our belief for a long time, and that is what is called strong conditioning.

So is it becoming clearer? Do you start off completely as the truth, the unspeakable truth, unexplainable, unborn, undying? It is naturally here. The minute you take yourself to be something—I am something—that is ignorance, whatever that something may be. So this ignorance is how we practice the false. So whatever practice it takes so that we stop practicing the false is the practice that is needed. For some, now, no practice is needed; naturally you find yourself open and empty without conditions. Some feel that when a notion comes, 'But I am this way' or 'I am this,' then it feels like it's helpful to really with all sincerity and integrity ask ourselves, 'Who am I?' That is self-inquiry. Just to check, to inquire into our true nature, and whatever we may perceive in the inquiry to ask, 'What witness is that?' or 'Who witnesses that?'

So that is one way to not practice the false. The other way to—and this is only for... you have to be true in your heart if you feel like you need a way, you see, then you can use that. Or you can ask yourself, 'What am I doing here? Where am I?' Any of these kind of questions which hit at the root of what you take yourself to be, you see. 'Am I aware now? Who is aware of my existence? What do I know when I know nothing?' And if you don't feel like you want to ask any of these kind of questions or look inside yourself, then just let go. Let go to that which you feel devoted to, whether you call that Master, whether you call that Krishna, or you call that Jesus, or you call that Allah. Doesn't really matter. What's important is for you to let go.

So when the mind is proposing something for you to resolve, for you to take on, you let it go saying, 'It is for my Master, my Father to resolve.' And just maybe two weeks ago or something, I went through this whole entire flowchart of spiritual practices starting from self-inquiry and surrender—starting from nothing actually, to self-inquiry and surrender, to everything else. So if you want to refer to that, I don't feel like I want to spend the same amount of time today as well doing that. So if you want to refer to that, somebody I'm sure can point you to this. But mainly I have found that those who come to satsang like this, self-inquiry or surrender are usually enough, you see.

Now what happens? If it was this straightforward, then the spiritual search would be finished, over, right now. 'I am the self, I just don't have to take myself to be anything other than that, and that is freedom.' But what happens? The mind says that click-click, crunch time, that divine moment of self-recognition, you see, that has not happened for you. It says these kind of things. And because you do not, and in fact you cannot, have a phenomenal vision of yourself, you may end up buying that idea because we are used to confirming things based on phenomena. But the self, you yourself, can never be a phenomenon. All phenomena can appear and disappear within you, you see. So don't fall for that trick of mental confirmation. It will sabotage you right in the beginning.

Ananta says you are free now, but this is not true about you—it says this kind of thing—but this is not true about you. Then the whole thing gets reversed because if you start from a position of falsehood, if you take the falsehood to be real, then freedom is not that straightforward as I'm pointing. If you keep reinforcing your false position, then truth does not have an easy time. So I am saying your starting point is free, but if you keep believing, 'You know, actually my starting point is bound; he's just saying that to make us feel better, or maybe he's talking about himself, you see, but he doesn't know yet my reality.' See these kind of ideas? Don't buy them. Your starting point is freedom. There is no bondage for you in this very moment, and the only bondage that will come is your notional belief in your limitation, in your person, the idea of the limited self, you see.

You are that which is attributeless, and yet all the attributes are yours, you see. They appear within you, provisionally speaking. But if you take yourself to be even the highest concept, it is still a limiting belief for you. Every notion is a step down. Remember, every idea that you take to be true about yourself is just a step down from your reality which is apparent to you in this very moment, but it is never apparent to your mind. And if you try to make it apparent to your mind, it's like trying to force a weighing scale to measure the size of this room. And that is how most spiritual seekers struggle, you see. So if you could leave the confirmation from the mind alone and just stay with the insight which is available to you in this very moment, even when the mind is screaming, 'But nothing, nothing, I see nothing, there's nothing!'

And I can prove it to you in an instant. Let's try this experiment. Sometimes I get into this class teacher mode; you have to forgive that. So if your answer is yes, you can raise your hand. Are you aware now? That insight contains every ounce of truth that you need. You don't need a speck more than this, you see. What are you here to find? The self. What do you know about the self? It has no attributes, it cannot be perceived, I cannot understand it. These are the attributes. It does not come and go; it is the ever-present witnessing.

In an instant, let's try this experiment. Sometimes I get into this class teacher mode; you have to forgive that. So if your answer is yes, you can raise your hand: Are you aware now? That insight contains every ounce of truth that you need. You don't need a speck more than this, you see. What are you here to find? The Self. What do you know about the Self? It has no attributes. It cannot be perceived. I cannot understand it. These are the attributes: it does not come and go; it is the ever-present witnessing of all the universes that appear and disappear; it is the boundless ocean with no boundaries. This is what we have learned in Vedanta about the Self, isn't it?

Now, this awareness which you confirmed instantly—and now you may start thinking about it, so you may contaminate your own insight—but that pristine question 'Are you aware now?' is not confirmed because you saw some phenomenal basis of this awareness. So if I would say, 'Is there a magnificent rainbow inside you now?' you see, it is not naturally there. You may decide to imagine it, so it may come to you, but you have to perceive that rainbow-ness to confirm there's a rainbow, you see. If I say, 'Is there a unicorn running at 60 miles per hour inside you?' you see, you won't raise your hands, although the imagination may be happening actually as I'm saying these things. And yet, to confirm that, you would have to have a perception, as strange as that perception may seem.

What is the difference between this question 'Are you aware now?' and these absurd questions which I just asked? You see, because in the other two questions, when you did not perceive, you said no. In this question, when you do not perceive, you say yes. You still say yes. Nobody has ever perceived awareness, and yet all of us can say yes, and all the sages can talk about it constantly. Okay, how many of you have I lost now? Gone too far too fast? One honest... not too bad. Two, three. Okay, I'll do a quick recap then.

My proposal to all of you is that right here and now, you are free. You see, this is like Bhagwan said: Atma Gyan, self-knowledge, everything that you want is already here now. What you have to stop doing is stop practicing the false. And we went through how you practice the false, how you can take on a notion to be your reality, and how that notional identification can make you personal. That is the ego. That is ignorance. That is falsity, you see.

Then we looked at: then what is missing? If it is that straightforward—click, click, click—you see, then what is missing? What is missing is that the mind does not confirm that I found the truth, because in that moment where I say 'before the sound of the click,' your mind will say, 'Nothing is happening.' Yes, yes. So to counter this idea that nothing is happening, I ask you a question: Are you aware now? And you are able to confirm yes. And I am pointing out to you how this is a very unique confirmation because although you do not perceive this awareness, you still say yes. Other things you would have to perceive to confirm, or at least you would have to go to some learned concept and refer to that and confirm. But for awareness, you don't need to go to memory and you don't need to go to any perception. Yes?

And that the mind can never really fathom this Self. Self-knowledge can never really get with this program because it will keep saying, 'What are you talking about?' You see, you don't see anything, yes? And yet you are aware. So trying to force it to go into the mind and become a mental confirmation is a pointless exercise because you may even do that and the mind may decide to play along from time to time, but only to set you up for failure. Because it will say, 'Ah, you had it when we were sitting together in satsang and looking together, but now you lost it again.' It will make it into an event, but it is not an event. So this is the simplicity of self-knowledge.

So the first trouble is that the mind will say, 'No, no, no, this is not it. I didn't find anything. Convince me,' you see. And if you keep falling into the trap of trying to convince the mind, then that is to practice ignorance again. The second thing, and maybe this is as potent as the first, is that the mind will say, 'Okay, then so what? So what now?' which sounds like a very humble question, but actually inbuilt in that 'so what now' is the maha-mantra of the ego, which is: 'What's in it for me? What did I get?' And you that can get or not get never actually exists. But in believing that notion of 'What did I get? Am I free now? Can I stay like this?'—all of these ideas again is to practice ignorance because you take on an identity which is not your reality.

So if you did not bother with trying to convince the mind and you did not bother with 'What did I get? What's in it for me? What now? What next? What should I do? How should I live?'—all of these are inbuilt inherently with false identification. And if you don't jump into this kind of thing, then you are just free naturally. And even when you do, you see, and conditioning can fight back, you see, and you may end up buying some idea about yourself. The good news is what? That this starting point, the starting point is always that you are free. That's the whole game of spirituality.

So how to keep this conditioning away when it seems compelling and it is calling out to us and saying, 'Come, come'? It seems very magnetic. You inquire and say, 'I need to really do this and become free. I still have to figure out how to live my life.' All of these ideas, then we can inquire and say, 'But who is the I? Who am I?' And if you're not feeling like inquiring, then we just let go and surrender. And again, I'm reminding everyone that all spiritual practices in one way or the other are related to this. So all that flowchart is available to you.

So one mistake all of you are doing still is you're trying to get your knowledge into it, and that won't help you at all. You're trying to use your intellect, talk about the past and future—all of that is a pointless exercise. What you think you know is not relevant. It is only to practice the false. The only use of what any master has said or any pointing that has been given is so that you stop practicing the false. Now, if you use that itself to practice the false, then that is how spiritual ego is constructed. Spiritual concepts can create a new defense for the personality which is too scared to face itself open and naked. So don't refer to anything from the past, anything that you have learned. Right here and now, verify in your own heart, in your own insight.

Frequency feedback is back. This is too much. And I was feeling like we're having the best satsang ever. Let's reduce this volume. How is it now? Better now? Sounds perfect. Okay, everybody just got used to it also. It's okay. Okay, I'm going to pick up one question.

Father, I know that I am awareness, but mind wants to understand its nature. That knowledge that I am awareness, let it go?

Then the mind will not trouble you. If you can let it go, let it go. What remains is the knowledge that I'm talking about, and the mind cannot use that also.

Then you say, I get stuck because I feel the sense of being in the waking state is perceived by the Absolute and I am not able to decipher that. I also feel myself to be infinite.

You feel the sense of being in the waking state is perceived by the Absolute and I'm not able to decipher that. But if you feel it like in the true sense of you have an intuitive insight about that, then you cannot decipher that in your mind. Why you want to ride in the aeroplane and the bus at the same time? It's not going to be fun. Okay, because there's a lot of chat, I will randomly just pick up what comes to my attention.

Anantaji, the awareness I am does not care about any good deeds or any bad deeds of this being the waking up.

But that is the mind's version of awareness. How you know this, that it does not care? You see, because the mind takes on what it thinks happened to you in that moment of insight, you see, and says, 'Oh, but that one, no, that doesn't care about good or bad deeds about anything in the waking.' It is untouched by it, but it is also pure love beyond any idea of love, pure bliss beyond any idea of bliss. So it does not worry; it has no notion of concern in that way. But when we say it does not care, this can have this idea that, 'Oh, it's just very some inert void or something like that.' That's the mind version of what you're being pointed to. The truth of yourself is way beyond that.

Then the original questionnaire says: Guruji, thanks for the wonderful explanation, but trying to practice awareness, I am always, almost always, pulled into the thought because of the numerous trivial or intense matters of life. Things as trivial as a couple of office meetings can make me forget my awareness because I have the task at hand, and then I feel that to be aware is impossible for me. What am I missing?

Okay, few things. Few things that you're missing. One is that you cannot not be aware. Even to say that 'I forget awareness,' you see, what you're actually saying is that I am aware that I forget about awareness. So this awareness cannot be lost and found. If you are speaking of attentiveness, you see, which can increase or reduce, then we can accept that sometimes you're more attentive and sometimes you're less attentive. But you're never more aware or less aware. And in the world, I know that the term 'aware' is used almost synonymously with attentiveness, but the way we use it in satsang and the way the word that the masters have coined or co-opted to point to the Absolute Self is not the same as attentiveness.

So you are never less or more of it. You are like the riverbed. The riverbed is the constant. Sometimes the river, which is the flow of perceptions, has a lot of things going on—there's a flood, you see—and sometimes there's a trickle. But the riverbed is untouched. So this awareness is the riverbed. The river is the universe, and sometimes the universe can have a lot of things showing up and sometimes the universe can be easy. So that is the first thing. So when I ask you, 'Are you aware now?' that awareness that you're referring to as yourself, is that ever less or more? It is never less or more. Nobody says, when I say 'Are you aware now?' nobody says 'A little bit' or 'A lot today; today a lot.' It's not in that range of less and more.

So that's the first thing. Maybe you're mistaking it with attention. You can just check for yourself: Who is aware of attention? Who is aware of perception? Who is aware of attention? These kind of questions may help. And the second is you're absolutely right that when in the world there seems to be so much happening, that is not really the problem—that so much is happening or less is happening. But the mind has a lot of ideas about these things, you see, and it makes a doer out of us, it makes a desirer out of us, it makes a body-mind out of us. Never in reality, but it convinces us that we are that. So it uses this what is showing up to pull you into this sort of limited identification.

And I already said what you can do about that. Of course, in the moment where you are lost, you're lost. Don't worry about it. Let it go. There's no point thinking, 'Oh, when that happens I always get lost,' and that moment is a write-off anyway. So don't write off new moments thinking about how that moment is a write-off, you see. I was just talking to her about accounting before satsang started, so all these write-offs and all is coming. So you see, so that's gone. Don't think about it. When you're thinking about it, you're creating new... it's like good money chasing bad money. So it's gone. Forget about it. Right right now, inquire into your true nature. Who are you? That is the best gift you can give yourself.

Too many of us get lost in this kind of thing. We come into satsang and we want to solve the problem of the past one or the future one, you see, and in that what happens is that the present opportunity is lost and we don't realize it. So discover yourself here and now, empty of any concern about past and future, because they really don't exist at all in the first place. So let's...

It's gone, forget about it. Right right now, inquire into your true nature. Who are you? That is the best gift you can give yourself. Too many of us get lost in this kind of thing. We come into satsang and we want to solve the problem of the past one or the future one, you see? And in that, what happens is that the present opportunity is lost and we don't realize it. So discover yourself here and now, empty of any concern about past and future, because they really don't exist at all in the first place. So let's not waste time trying to figure that out. So what should you do? Check into your reality now. Who are you now? In the moments when you're not lost, check who are you now. Don't lose the not-lost moments because some moments are lost, okay? And then what to do? I told you: inquire or surrender or chanting or attention to your breath or devotional singing or just prayer or just yoga or pranayama. I've gone through this a few times so I'm not going to repeat the whole thing, but whatever resonates most in that very moment, you can pick up. All the pointers and tools are available to you, more than enough.

The only confirmation is this intuitive insight. Any interpretation seems to put us in a separation.

Yes, yes. Very well put. Blessings. Thank you, thank you, my dear. Thank you.

Is referencelessness also a subtle form of reference?

Of course, of course. Every word means something, and even if it is meaningless, it means something—that it is meaningless. So all these can at best point, never replicate reality. Okay, so what I'm going to request is if you have a question that I haven't looked at but is still not answered, you can copy and paste it again for me and I'll have a look at it. In the meanwhile, let me pick. Mantas wants to come. Maybe Mantas can come first. Joanna and Mantas.

Sriram, hi. Yeah, good. Just the last few satsangs I felt maybe to come up and I don't know, in some way to check in, come back. Let's see. But kind of don't have any question and I don't know what to say. So just... but from a moment when I raise the hand, my heart is pushing, keeps moving closer to the camera.

It's very good to also just, when the feeling is in the heart, to come up. And we may not be clear about what the question is or it may not feel like there is a question at all. That is completely fine and very welcome like that as well. Because kind of everything is resonating and it seems clear, and there comes a point in satsang where you feel that the words are being spoken from your own heart, you see? And you even wonder sometimes, 'How is that mouth speaking this stuff?' You see? That is... it's right here. See, what is being spoken, it can feel like it's right here. Is there anything that gets you, anything that you hear in satsang or anything that happens in the world, and you just feel like that still has a lot of magnetism for you that pulls you into your personhood in some way? Maybe for a very short time? Like for example, what was happening to Joanna and still sometimes happens, and so comes some maybe anger or something in a way you don't know how to name it, but just comes and just goes very, very short. And we'll hear her report about you separately. I'm very happy to check in like this once in a while and see how things are moving. Is there any fear that whatever openness and emptiness is there, that could go away sometimes?

No. Yeah, because somehow it's always like... even if... no, this fear, no. I'm just finding excuses to get you to speak something because even then was this like to come up and today I felt yeah, really to come up. And the mind comes with some like to present was like, 'Yeah, you know, I have this like problem or something.' And no. So no, I am fully, fully, fully happy to hear this. Very, very happy.

Very good. All my love, all my blessings to both of you always. And how is Joanna doing? How are you doing, my dear?

Good. Uh, good. Yeah, okay. Okay, good.

You look good now. Good.

Yeah, now. Now good. Good.

That's a good mantra. Now, now good, good. There is no other time. Very happy to see you both. Big hugs to both of you. Thank you, thank you. A lot of hands. Okay, let's hear. Let's hear Brother first.

Namaste, Father. I'm so happy that life is wonderful, that it's full of possibilities. And I'm fully aware that this report could go either way. It could be a full-on sharing of deepest insights or it could be a full-on tantrum, and I'm so happy to meet either of those.

Which one is it going to be? And it can be anything in the middle, so it's fine.

I don't know. I don't have anything to say.

Okay, so then I'll use the opportunity to ask you a question. Don't do any pokey. This is a conditional love. The condition is don't do any pokey. Okay, let's start with the simple thing. No pokey. What is happening? What is happening just now?

No... what is a happening? Nothing. Nothing.

So the notion that... because sometimes you look at it this way, you know, we say, 'Okay, what is the difference between doing and happening?' And then we come to the realization that because there is no individual agent or one who's deciding or making the choice or any of that individually, then everything we put in the box of happening. But even that I want to propose to everyone is a provisional box. There is no actual thing like happening. Like, we cannot settle just on going from a doing to 'it's just happening.' 'It's just happening' is also not true in the ultimate way of speaking. Of course, phenomenally speaking, we can say this happened and then that happened. But really, really speaking... so now, what is happening now? You can answer what you thought of the first question.

Nothing is happening, Father. I see. So there has been this experience of... I see sometimes like a strong sensation comes and for the sake of conversation I'm going to label it as fear or anger sometimes. And it comes without any story and it can be fully seen. It's almost as if... so I feel like there are two things to it. I feel like it's almost as if consciousness wants to experience it and that's why it's coming to play it. It's seen so beautifully. And sometimes it comes and it feels like, Father, it's coming from like some old habit or a vasana or just... it's just coming from a tendency to come, in a sense. But it's not causing any trouble. You just asked me what's happening, so I'm saying.

Yes. Then that which comes and causes no trouble, better to call it...

It goes, Father. But I also feel like throwing a tantrum.

I saw, I knew it! Okay, what is the tantrum?

I am coming to Pune next week. Okay, I'll let you go because I feel like I'm wasting time.

Oh no, no, that's not what I meant. I meant if the tantrum is about why you can't be physically present in satsang, then you know that I'm visiting Pune for a few days, two-three days. Maybe that can happen then. But if it's about something else, you can share openly. If you presume some truth behind the notion of happening, whatever I see is happening seems pretty good to me, quite auspicious and good, huh? Best tantrum I've ever heard. And now you got me in trouble also because I mentioned about Pune, now I have to plan a world visit everywhere.

Father, you don't leave my hand. Okay, this is not possible. Okay, I'll let you go.

So this kind of notion, this kind of idea of the fear of being abandoned or the fear of being left alone, these kind of ideas can be quite compelling. And to realize that actually—and you know this because you've seen this in your heart—that that which you call Father is your own presence, is your own divinity, it's your own being, and that can never leave you. Everything in this world, all these mortal bodies, all of these are going to come and go. But when you say Father and you refer to the master in that way, you're speaking to the Satguru in your own heart. So you can leave everything about yourself, but you can never leave the master, and then therefore the master cannot leave you. And where is Ananta going anyway? Not that old yet, unless the Satguru has other plans. Always with your child, very always. Okay, Duti Mama has a question, but you're just downstairs. What are you doing down there?

Okay, now it's really strange. Every time I say, 'Okay, now I'm better, I'm going up,' my stomach starts churning all over again, Father. This is the strangest resistance I've ever seen. I mean, you know, just one second ago I didn't even raise my hand when I was telling you, 'Okay, I'm coming up, I'm going now,' and I was like... my stomach just starts feeling all beyond. But I'm coming.

Somewhere you don't have to make it into something. It's fine.

Oh yeah, good. That was easy. Yeah, you think I'll see you as you... I'll see you soon, either today or Monday or whenever.

Okay, then should you want to come? I can't see you though.

Can't see me? I have to speak up to come on the screen. Yeah, okay. No, I just... I just wanted to come because it's been a long time. Say hi.

That's good. It doesn't feel like that long, though.

Yeah, yes. It never feels that long to me.

I'm so happy to meet all of you like this today. It seems quite nice and easy and things. You always start with inquiry and then start taking questions. Yes, thank you. I feel like you're always here anyway. Actually, I have to say that it feels like you're still here in Bangalore too. It doesn't feel like you're at some great distance or something, you know? I just checked in on the book today and we've sold 14 copies. Oh wow, we're almost like best-selling authors. Just a few million in the adventure section, we should be somewhere on top now. So you can go to somebody else if it's... I'm just sitting here smiling. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Very good. You want to come now? See that I want to come and then open, my hand is still up. Then I have to see that. Ah, you're back at the tomb.

Yes, and it's like now is it okay like this? Okay, so I feel like... so would you like to see around inside for those who don't know? Of course, a beloved sage. Father, I'm sorry, they say that it's just closed now. Actually, you know, you have unmuted me so it was the right time. However, I will show you. Yes, I'm gonna show you the door now. So I have to change the figurine if I can. Yeah, okay. So yes, it means yes, I know this, it means that in the name of Allah. Yeah, so this is the kind of garden and this form is also kind of museum-like. But however, I'm... okay, I just found that door, maybe they can run. I don't know. Okay, now can you hear me well?

Much better. Can you see it again? Sorry.

Okay, this one belongs to Holy Prophet Muhammad. The Holy Prophet Muhammad's beard was carried on this part and it still carried the smell of him with his smile, divine smile. Yes, I just want to share, Father. There is a prayer right here now so I cannot speak so loud. Can you hear me? Okay, so yeah, this is the tomb of Rumi and I also will remove the headphones and you can hear the voice around here. Yeah, um, yes please say hey. Okay, going... just I want to say that it's such an honor and blessing for us to welcome you here and just so thank you so, so much for being here. Thank you, thank you, and all the loves and blessings to you as your blessings are always with us. Thank you so much. Everyone is... all these messages have been taken to heart. So thanks to all the sangha for coming here and giving us all... it's such a privilege to welcome the Mooji sangha here and you were and you are always here actually. So just thank you so, so, so, so, so, so, so much. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. And yeah, lastly also I want to show the belongings of... if you feel to... it is closed because of the coronavirus but I have to mention about you, you know. Yeah, I couldn't show but yes, okay. Just want to mention about him for the privilege. Thank you. It's our privilege to welcome you.

Thank you, my love. I just feel like we could end satsang, but we'll hear Niranjan. He's been asking to come up. Hello, my dear.

Hello. I can hear you well. Okay, yeah, yeah. Just a second. Can you see me?

Oh yes, yes. Hello.

Lastly, also I want to show the belonging of Simplify. If you feel it is closed because of the coronavirus, but I have to mention about you, you know. Yeah, I couldn't show, but yes, okay. Just want to mention about him for the privilege. Thank you. It's our privilege to welcome you. Okay, thank you, my love. I just feel like we could end satsang, but we'll hear Niranjan; he's been asking to come up.

Hello, my dear. Hello, I can hear you well. Okay, yeah, yeah. Just a second. Can you see me? Oh yes, yes. Hello, Father. How are you?

Oh, my dear, I'm good. I'm good, thank you. Are you emulating the beard? Yes, not as gray as yours, not yet.

I don't hear you so well now. I have nothing, I mean nothing to say. I just want—now maybe now it's fine, yeah. I have nothing to say. I mean, I just want to say I am happy.

Very good. I'm so happy to hear that you're happy.

It feels like, you know, a bad, bad dream is over. Yes, yes. Feeling it's like, you know, something like a storm comes and it blows everything away along with the cause of the storm itself. And it feels very spacious or light. I don't know, it's a very different kind of thing. I cannot describe, but maybe the heaviness or the burden, it feels like it is no more there.

Keep blessing you like this, and may you remain open and empty and free.

Thank you so much. And there is no attachment like, you know, like no mental clinging to this happiness or something, you know, like this. So it's—there is happiness, but I am not attached, nor do I feel that it may not be there tomorrow. I can—that's very good. Perhaps there is a little bit of vigilance regarding, you know, like being egoistic about that, like feeling special about that, but it doesn't work no more. So like there's a deep voice inside which says that you never—you don't feel special about this thing, you know. It is I who is—you are no more like that. And it's like it says that never think that, you know, others are not that. I am in everyone, so you are no special. You know, that kind of whispering, that kind of voice. And it's very strong. I mean, although it is very kind of—but it has a force to it.

Big hug to you and all my love. Thank you, thank you so much. Thank you so much. Ah, so many hands went up. Let's speak randomly. I want to check in with Parth for a moment. Let's speak to Parth. Your audio or video is also there?

Yeah, so I just wanted to express my gratitude because like my brother and I had posted it, and the surgery turned out to be very much more complicated than the report suggested. I see. But by the grace of Guruji and yours, everything went fine and probably will be discharged and everything is fine. I just wanted to express my thing, going first time in this kind of circumstances. I wish it was not like that, but just I wanted to say thank you.

I'm so happy to hear from you because you've been in our heart ever since your brother posted the message, and you've been with us throughout that time. And I'm so happy to see you smiling on the hospital bed there. And it's—thank you. You had a few actually join satsang from the hospital bed, you know. My sister Shivani, she is in Australia, so she has joined us from the hospital bed after a mild heart attack or something like that, and she was attending soon after that. Then used to get this treatment in Switzerland for Lyme disease or something, and then she used to join from the hospital. So from what I recall, you're the third one to come to satsang from the hospital. It's like Atma is working.

Yeah, and I will just give my phone once for my brother. He would like to just—

Thank you so much. I'm so happy. I'm so happy that by Guruji's grace, everything seems to be going well very quickly. And when things open up, I want both of you to come to Bangalore. It would be very nice if you can visit 100% whenever you get the chance. So like this, for sure. All my love to both of you. All my blessings, all my love always. Okay, thank you. Thank you so much. I'm so much just drowning in love at the moment. I don't know what words will come, but let's see. Let's see what happens. You don't hear your idea? No, nothing heard yet. No, my love, nothing, nothing. Okay, maybe you try with the audio settings and we come back to you. If you feel like it's working, we'll come back to you. And if you like, you can type your question and we can look at that, or whichever way is okay. All my love. Okay, Beatrice, you want to come? Namaste.

I was there. We are the same right now. See again, my dear one, so clear. Did you see? We are the same right now. Yes, like we are the same right now, their bodies and on these and I don't know.

You look a bit concerned, though you said that we are the same, but your facial expression is a bit more concerned. What? It looks a bit like concerned, you know, like a bit worried. You're feeling all right?

I don't know, like not especially anything. I feel like I have no question that I don't remember anything right now. So okay, so I don't know. I see everything on this. If there's one thing you could ask for right now that you feel would really help, something that would really help you, what would that one thing be right now? I don't know who is this one right now. No, this form that is like this, no. There is—it's true that this form is changing all the time and it's not—and I am before this, this form, like I see all my life or something like that.

Uh-huh. And what is the message behind the tears? Is there—is it the same thing? What you know, what is the message behind the tears? Is there some other message behind the tears, or is it the same thing what you're saying?

There is no message. And also something maybe feels like I'm like—well, maybe I moved and I don't know really. Never said I feel that it's like—like it's happening and I don't know.

I want you to send me a message because I feel I want to hear from you and just check in with you as to how you're doing and what's happening. So you—we are connected on Facebook or something, no?

Yes.

Yeah, so maybe you can send me a message. A message like what—whatever comes in your heart, you can send me and I just want to look into that for a bit.

I feel like I—if I—I am here, no? I see Mooji since sometimes, I see you, and something that is not something—I know that you know who I am because you are. I know something like this. Even if—even if it's the person or whatever, I see this, no? So if this one who is right now right here is false also because everything is like, you know, it's like this, no?

Yeah, firstly we just have to relax a bit. Because what happens is that all the satsang concepts are there, all the words are there, everything is feeling fine, but just allow yourself to breathe first. Just relax. It's not a race. It's not something that we are going to get or not get. And whether we have gotten or not gotten, all of that we can keep it aside for a moment and just unwind a little bit. Because sometimes you can get into some sort of a spiritual thing, you know. Just empty, empty, just unwind and breathe. And now, without using any concepts that you heard in satsang or any sort of spiritual thing, just talk to me. What's happening with you?

Oh, it's better like that. Yeah, yeah. I don't know what's happening. I don't know. I feel like I'm here and it's like if I'm here, no?

Because don't have to worry about any of that. Just—just in this moment, what is it? What's happening with you without any—any spiritual jargon whatsoever? Are these tears of sadness?

No, it's just like happening or because the emotion, you see, it comes like that. Maybe it's because it's something that it's relatively new for me that somebody knows—know me like this. Because for me it's not like—I never know me, I always know me, no? Since what? But I—it doesn't know that somebody knows it like this, no? So we are also really hope, I don't know. So this tear come and feel for this.

So are they happy tears? We don't worry what, but I'm sorry, if you had to pick one, are they—are they happy tears or sad tears?

I don't know what. Yes, they're happy and very happy.

There is no—you have to take a full detox from Advaita concepts. What? Just yes, fully detoxed from Advaita concepts for a week. Yes. What can happen? I don't know really. Like Advaita concepts like—yes, see Mooji or I know or you that I don't really I—yes. So can you tell me about your day? What—what how is your day been like?

My what?

Your day so far. What time is it there now?

It's 2:12.

Okay, and what time did you wake up?

I don't know, maybe yes, 7:30 or maybe a 9:00.

And then what did you do on the day?

I don't have a fixed thing, no.

Today, today what did you do?

Ah, today what do you do? I play the piano. I hear Mooji. My—

Now we lost you. Now okay, it looks like we lost you for the moment. Okay, we'll come back to you. Okay, next one. Prabha, you want to come? Prabha is still okay or is it—is it asking? It's not allowing you to unmute. Ah, there you go. Good, good.

Hello, my dear. Oh, I just wanted to say hi. I don't know, I felt inspired today to come and just say hi and yeah, I'm doing really well. Everything's really good. I—I still love your—my still favorite pointing in the world is to not believe your—not believe your thoughts. That's my favorite one.

And my favorite one too. Yeah, it's just that I have to keep changing it every month so that it sounds new to everyone, but that's all I'm saying really.

It's a good one. It's like when I—I forget it sometimes and I start believing my thoughts and then—and then I remember and it's like night and day. Yeah. Um, but as I was—yeah, as I was waiting, I did have a question come in my mind. I was curious, do you feel that there's a difference between how women connect with God versus men connect with God, or do you feel it's the same?

Well, connect with God in the directness of it is the same no matter what the beingness—what aspect of beingness or consciousness is being played out. But it's completely unique in terms of everybody's path is unique because what happens is that the conditioning that we have is unique from childhood. If you believe in past life, then we can say for many lifetimes we have a unique set of conditioning, and everybody is brought up—brought up in a unique way and picks up a set of concepts in their childhood and growing up. Everybody has a different set of experiences and things. So—so what happens is that the individuality that is playing out in each of us seems to be playing out in a very unique fashion. Although it is one consciousness expressing itself in all of these various aspects, it—it does not play redundantly, you know. You know what I mean? Just like every fingerprint is unique and every snowflake is unique and every flower is unique, it seems like every human expression of consciousness also seems to be unique. And not only in the way they look, but also in the way they've been brought up and the conditioning they have and all the—all the pools of conditioning that they work with. So what happens is that in the same way that the conditioning is unique, the deconstruction also happens in a unique way, you see. Because it's a different—everybody's a different puzzle in a way, you see. So like you said, 'don't believe your next thought' really helps you. Another may say, 'Oh, but this don't believe, but who am I to believe or not believe?' and you know, 'How can I believe or not?' It can become more mental for them, you see, depending on what they think is right or true. And that's why we need to have so many different satsangs and so many ways of saying the same thing, because the lock, in a way—every safe unlocks in a different way. So the master just keeps turning, follows their heart and keeps turning how they feel this will work, and it just seems to unlock. So—so not just men and women, boys and girls, but—but everyone. I have noticed a few things with the men which though I don't notice so much with the girls.

You see, depending on what they think is right or true, and that's why we need to have so many different satsangs and so many ways of saying the same thing, because the lock, in a way, every safe unlocks in a different way. So the master just keeps turning, follows their heart and keeps turning how they feel this will work, and it just seems to unlock. So, not just men and women, boys and girls, but everyone. I have noticed a few things with the men which, though I don't notice so much with the girls, like men can have this idea of like independence from the Father, you see? Like they want to make it on their own after a certain point. So I've seen more with the boys that after they're in satsang for a while, then they start to feel like, 'Yeah, yeah, I got... Father's been very nice, but I feel like I got everything I needed from him, but now the rest of it I have to conquer on my own.' And I'm sure that the girls can also have this, but I've not seen the same amount in the girls that I've seen in the boys.

So of course we are broadly generalizing just to try and answer the question, but yeah, there can be a lot of these differences playing out. And none of them are necessary that they do play out, so that if you are a man it is going to happen like that, that we cannot say. But there are some patterns which seem to be quite familiar. But I would say broadly that everyone, everyone is coming to the truth in their own unique way. Just share some more in terms of the context of the question.

Yeah, because I feel like the energy constructs of men and women are generally different in general. Obviously there are exceptions. So like, I find I've been thinking about it and I feel like men are more, maybe not all of them, but generally like if you're talking about like Jnana Yoga or like the Jnani path, they're more like mental and inquiry. And then women in general more like Bhakti, like love, surrender, devotion. And I find that any time that I've approached connecting with God from a mental place, it's not as good for me as when I approach it from a more devotional space, and it feels much better for me. And I feel like I was approaching it in a way that wasn't really aligned with my natural energy in a way. And I don't know how to explain that, but I am seeing differences between men and women, and I feel like we're living in a time when everything is like, 'No, everyone is the same,' and it's like, no, there's actually differences. I don't know, I just find myself exploring it and thinking about it.

It's very sweet what you're saying, because there can be a misunderstanding around the oneness or the sameness of things. Like, of course all of us are one at the level of reality, at the level of consciousness, but if you're talking about how consciousness is expressing itself, it is expressing itself in such unique manifestations. And every piece of this manifestation seems to be so intricately designed that to put it in broad redundant boxes would seem a bit too much. So I would say that every single expression is so inherently designed in such an intricate and unique way that I would completely accept that. And you're right when you're saying that you're looking at certain patterns which seem to play out in the way some aspects of consciousness behave versus others. You are enjoying studying some of that intricacy of that pattern, and that's fine too.

And also, I hear that what you're saying more is in terms of what is traditionally considered the feminine aspect of being and the masculine aspect of being in the interplay, and how every single expression of consciousness has a unique interplay of both of these aspects happening. And it can feel like mostly men have a little more of the masculine aspect than the feminine, but it's not necessary that every man is that way. But broadly we can draw some patterns from that. When it comes to Jnana Yoga versus Bhakti Yoga, I don't find any trouble with what you're sharing. Only thing is that there comes a point where both are not different anymore, in the sense that, yes, it seems like because you can see a book by Ananta, it's consciousness speaking with consciousness, and it's this thick, no? So you just feel like, 'Whoa, that's a lot of reading to do, that's a lot of subject matter that I have to understand,' you know? 'But I'm more devotional, I would just let go and just be happy with that,' you see?

But actually every single page, every single line in that book is saying don't be mental. Like you started by saying, 'Don't believe your thoughts,' you know? And to believe your thoughts is to be mental. So it needs reiteration over and over again in a way because we are caught up in so many conditions. Like we talked about the unique conditions. So to deconstruct that using words, because the conditions were created using words, a lot of them, so to deconstruct that using words is the pointers of Jnana Yoga. But the main pointing of Jnana Yoga is also to the heart and not mind, which can sound very strange after I've spoken for more than two hours. It can sound very strange to say something like that, but the fact is that all of Jnana Yoga is pointing us beyond words, and that is the same as devotion: to go beyond words into the heart and to meet your reality from there. So the great thing about this world is that whatever resonates with you, that spiritual path is available to you. So everything that makes you open, empty, accepting, you see, not resistive, is the right spiritual path for you.

Yeah. I mean, I don't want to keep you because I hear your voice is crackling a little.

It's fine, that's fine. I can hear it too.

Yeah. I mean, I was just going to say like, I feel this immense presence, like the direct experience of the presence of... I don't know how to explain it. It's like, guess what I'm talking about is, or I didn't even realize I had this question until now, it's like I feel the presence of God and sometimes it feels like more of a masculine energy for me. Like everyone is saying like 'God the Father,' and I've also been studying paths where it's more like 'God the Mother' and things like that, and it's different energies. And I'm trying to somehow reconcile that because when it is God the Father, it feels to be like a great devotion and surrender, but then there's still something in that that's very... like experientially very dualistic, which I don't mind because it's very peaceful. But I don't know, I just find myself exploring these things and feeling them on a very energetic level.

Yes. So I want to show you something. This is my favorite representation of God in a way, one of my favorite representations of God. And this one, if you notice carefully, it is half man and half woman. It is half of which is represented as Shakti, which is the feminine aspect of consciousness, and the other aspect is represented as Shiva, which you could look at as... it has two definitions actually: the masculine aspect of consciousness, and also Shiva often is represented as the Absolute from which all consciousness arises in Indian spirituality. But this representation is how God is actually a combination and a beautiful representation of all in our intellect that we would call masculine or feminine. So this is Shiva and Shakti together, and they are called Ardhanarishvara, which means half woman and half man. And this is actually the dance of this... is actually the play of life, you see? So the dance represents the play of life. So it is this play of life of the masculine-feminine which makes this life.

So I would say to you that whatever aspect resonates with you the most... in India what happens is that it's super democratic. So if it is the feminine aspect of God which appeals to you the most, then there are many options based on how strong you want it to be. If you want it to be really strong feminine, then it could be Ma Kali or Ma Durga. Or if you want more gentle, then it could be Gayatri or Saraswati or Lakshmi. Same for the men also. Like if you want really full-on play, and things, then you could go to Krishna. If you wanted Shanti, Shanti, righteousness, I think you could go to Ram, you see? If you want the devotee aspect of the male energy, then Hanuman is a beautiful representation of that.

So in a way it's very scientific because it relates actually very much with the first question which we spoke about, about how everyone has a unique conditioning and therefore their unlocking also happens in a unique way. So when we follow our heart in that way and say, 'Okay, it's easier for me to bow down to an energy which is this way,' you see, which represents this kind of quality, then in India we have millions of those possibilities. So you could actually narrow it down very specifically, and somebody who understands these things very well could say, 'This is the aspect of the Lord which you're talking about.' For some it can sound like... many would feel like it's a crazy business, you know? If God is formless ultimately, then in India if that is the main teaching, then why are there so many different temples? And in South India if you go to a temple, you may have seen these in Bangalore, when you see the temple roof you'll see so many small, small, small, small statues of the gods.

So what happens? Is it that we are that foolish that we say God is formless but then we revere so many different forms? I like not to believe that we are that foolish. I just feel like because everyone has a unique conditioning, so you say, 'Okay, I'm more attracted to this aspect,' and that may also change from time to time. And you say, 'Okay, this is primarily the aspect of consciousness that I feel most devotional about, most in my heart about,' you see? Then you can say, 'Okay, this is Lord Ganesha or Krishna or Hanuman or Durga or Kali.' In fact, one of the duties of the masters in the olden days used to be that way, that they would get a sense from you and then they would give you a mantra or they would give you something to meditate on which would be perfect for your energetic construct. I usually, of course, I don't speak about these things often, but it comes from there. It comes from there.

So the mistake we should never do is try to presume that what resonates most with us in our heart is the way, and that's how it should be for everyone. It is just because we have a unique conditioning and consciousness is playing in that way in this body-mind. So that's completely fine and nobody should judge that, whatever that resonance may be. But the mistake often that happens is that, and that's how actually religions get formed, you see, and sects and cults get formed, because people start believing that that is the only way this can happen and 'my way is the best way, my way or the highway,' this kind of thing. So we must just be very open about this, that in my heart this resonates the most and therefore I follow this kind of spiritual path, but in another's heart something else may resonate in a different way. And of course they are as open and as free to follow their path as I am.

Yeah, that really... another thing that I really resonate with everything that you just said. And another thing that I realize has been coming up for me has been that, so I'm actually Jewish. So I was, you know, on an ancestral level I'm Jewish, that's where my family is and that's where I come from. And I totally understand that that's kind of a super... whatever, you know, that doesn't really on a deeper level... but on some level it doesn't matter, but on another level...

I really resonate with everything that you just said. And another thing that I realize has been coming up for me has been that, so I'm actually Jewish. On an ancestral level, I'm Jewish; that's where my family is and that's where I come from. I totally understand that that's kind of a super—whatever, you know—that doesn't really on a deeper level... but on some level it doesn't matter, but on another level it's very real. And when it comes to certain traditions, honoring traditions, like even the traditions like you know this tradition that you have here, it's more steeped in the Hindu religion in many ways, and that makes sense. But then I really feel this calling to connect more with my lineage or something that is more... because I've studied all these world religions and I see the similarities in them, but there's also this part of me that's like, I wasn't raised religious, but it's like, okay, but there's also beautiful prayers that literally my great-great-great grandmothers used to do for thousands of years. I would love to explore that more.

The only thing I struggle with there is in the Judeo-Christian scriptures, which I do want to study more, it seems like at the moment there's just God the Father. So I'm trying to figure that out because in Hindu it's more like masculine and feminine energies and there's these deities and you can connect with different energies, but I'm not sensing that much in the Judeo-Christian ways. I could be wrong because that's a very surface level and I'm sure people who are really in it feel that. I'm wondering if, like you said, that's how religions form. Maybe because the Jewish people, they were like the first monotheistic of the West, so they used to worship Yahweh, which was... they would say like, 'All of you are practicing idolatry; no, there's only one God.' It was all against idolatry. So then I just find myself thinking—it's not even thinking about these things—I do feel it experientially where I do feel that presence of that like Yahweh energy or that whatever it is. It's different names, but it's like that God the Father energy. And then at the same time, yeah, that's the thing. I don't have an exact question; it's just I'm trying to reconcile these differences.

Yeah, I would just say, and you're on this beautiful exploration and I'm happy to keep hearing about this because these things are very fun for me to hear, you see. To know how each of you are finding your own unique resonance with God in their own way, which is of course leading to the ultimate connection with the formless reality. But in your own intricate, beautiful paths, how that is unfolding, it's very joyous for me to hear. And it's nice. My only advice would be that, as you have been, it sounds like, just be as heart about it as possible and not trying to force your mind too much into trying to understand and like solve this riddle and reconcile these things. Because actually what happens as you're connecting more and more with God, in whichever way you're connecting, you are learning how to accept the mystery more and more. You're not solving the mystery more and more; you're learning how to accept this mystery more and more. And this mystery keeps deepening and it's not a problem. It's only a problem in the mind, but in your reality, as it is deepening, it is sweetening, you see.

So as you're meeting God, like you're connecting with the presence of God, then keep immersing yourself in that, whatever is happening naturally, without trying to determine too much in the intellect. And all the answers, I promise you, all the answers will reveal themselves to you as heart insight, as intuitive insight. And that will take the struggle out, because we struggle in trying to reconcile mentally that which is beyond our intellect.

Yeah, and that's exactly it. And these questions are kind of like, they're not things I consciously think about, but they're kind of gnawing at the back. And even when I brought the question, like, oh yeah, I realize this has been kind of like this itch that's been bothering me where I can't... and it is very conceptual, it's very mental, but there's still something in it that doesn't quite make sense to me and makes me feel a little bit uneasy. I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's something like, 'Am I practicing idolatry? Why did they say idolatry was so bad?' I don't know, I just...

Yeah, I promise you one thing: God will not make sense, you see? But it'll be the best discovery you make, and you are making it. It doesn't mean that it'll leave you confused. Yeah, it'll leave you in a beautiful self-recognition which is so beyond the intellect that confusion is not possible. But if you try, if you keep forcing either God or God's creation to make sense to you, you're just going to struggle with that. It's kind of... for as long as this fun is fine, because I had that as well, because I would want to just figure out everything, you know, everything, everything. But then in meeting Guruji, I realized that there's something which is beyond figure-outable and yet very palpable. And that is when we start to meet God in this way, which is not something that the intellect can fathom.

That's definitely one of my like vasanas is I want to know everything and I'm so curious and I just want to know. And yeah, I am realizing that it's better to not know.

Of wanting to keep that, but look for the answers in a different place, you see what I'm saying? They don't look to the mind to provide all those answers necessarily. Look to a deeper intuitive presence to provide those answers as well. The questions can still be alive, they can burn. I'm not saying throw away your questions, but don't go to just one instrument, no one tool, to have all the answers. You have another beautiful instrument which you can use to get the answers as well, which is your intuitive presence.

Yeah, I find that if I just kind of surrender and say, 'Okay, I don't know if I'm supposed to know, let me know,' sometimes an insight comes, sometimes it doesn't.

That's it. That is beautiful. That is beautiful. So then we are not so much struggling with it. It's done in the sense of openness, a sense of surrender, that some higher divinity is going to provide these answers if they are meant to be found.

Yeah, and I have to keep surrendering that energy because it's really something... it's like this, it wants to know and it gets anxious.

What is dangerous also about that is that once you struggle that way, then the conclusions that you find in the mind, you don't want to give them up because you have struggled to find them, right? And if you come to anybody who says, 'No, no, but is this really valid?' you feel like they are attacking you, you see? Because we have struggled, and that seeming finding intellectually gives us some relief. 'Ah, finally I know,' you see? So now if somebody comes and says, poke, poke, it's not fun. You know, like, 'Stay away from me, this is a product of a lot of struggle, so you better not mess this up for me now.'

So that's what happens in the intellectual pursuit, and that's what happens to a lot of scientists and things like that, where they feel like they made a fantastic discovery, but as science progresses, then that discovery is poked and they don't like it, no? They try to hang on to that. But with the discoveries that you're making with your intuition, you will not feel like you get attached to them or something. It's made with a great sense of openness, and the openness only deepens as you discover more and more. So it's a different way of approaching this.

Yeah, I definitely... it's much better. I've... it's a constant journey to just keep letting that energy go.

And that's why many times what can happen in satsang is that that energy either gets drowned in the devotion that we have for the Master, or it can get so frustrated, you see? Because one day Master will say left, left, left; other day he'll say right, right, right; and then say jump up and down, you see? It's all over the place and you cannot get intellectual satisfaction from the answers in satsang. Although sometimes it may feel provisionally that you're getting it, but the next answer will contradict all that satisfaction and throw it away, you see? So that can be very frustrating in satsang because we are trying to make sense of it here where it cannot make sense, what is being pointed to. And that is the source of all like satsang frustration, you see? Because he just said, 'Inquire, inquire, you can do it,' and the next he said, 'You can't do anything, you are not the doer, forget about it.' You see? How will we reconcile these things? Not here.

So it's good. So either way, our devotion gets the better of this tendency or we really push it, no? We say, 'I'm going to understand fully, fully,' and then we frustrate ourselves out of that because that which makes us suffer a lot, we don't hang on to forever. Ultimately, we do realize that it's causing us suffering and we let it go. Then you come to... you make peace with things not making sense. You may even enjoy it more, actually. Like a flower doesn't make sense. The perception of anything in the world actually in itself doesn't make sense, and it doesn't have to. It's infinitely beautiful without having to make sense. And it's a physicist, probably Neil deGrasse Tyson, who said, 'The universe has no obligation to make sense to the human mind.' So I would paraphrase and say there is no such contract.

Yeah, that's so profound and I feel it really strongly. I feel that energy right now is just like... it's just like vibrating. It's like I want to know everything.

It's so funny. It's so funny because many, many times it's happened as I've shared satsang that I've noticed that the ones who feel like they're very devotional actually have a lot of that, you see? It's so strange, isn't it? Because you just said some time ago that actually you're more attracted to the devotional path and not having to think and figure out. It's so nice. But soon after, you're just talking about this need to know, almost as if it runs your life, you see? So this is so insightful to see, you know? So it's good. It's good to actually check and it stops us from labeling ourselves too quickly, you see? It stops us from labeling ourselves also too quickly because you might say, 'I am more of a gyani actually,' and next minute you are drowning in devotion. And then you may say, 'I am actually in my heart, if you were to ask me seriously, I'm just a devotee,' you see? And next minute we're like, 'What's going on here? I want to know who am I and what is this world?' And the consciousness can play with all of this variety in the way it wants. So I have realized in my life that it's best not to draw any conclusions, especially about ourselves.

But I feel like that's why I gravitate more towards the devotional because of that... like I need... because I'm not going to find anything in my mind that's going to help me. So I need to just be able to say, 'I can't... I can't think about this. Like, You take care of it. If You want to give me some insight, go for it. If not, like, I can't do this. I'm not going to be able to.' So that's why I think, yeah, it's kind of like you're saying, like that lock... you're this way, then you need the opposite thing to kind of help balance you out.

It's good in a way to see this sort of the play of this thing. But remember that be very open, open with whatever conclusions you're drawing, especially with the 'whys'. This is the...

Like, if you want to take care, if you want to give me some insight, go for it. If not, like, I can't, I can't do this. I'm not going to be able to. So that's why I think, yeah, it's kind of like you're saying, like that lock. You're this way, then you need the opposite thing to kind of help balance you out.

It's good in a way to see this sort of the play of this thing. But remember that: be very open, open with whatever conclusions you're drawing, especially with the 'whys.' 'This is the cause and this is the effect. This is why this happens and this is why this doesn't happen.' Just, it's fine, it's fine, but just keep them very loose. Don't attach to any of those too strongly. That may be my last tip for the day, but this is a fun conversation. I enjoy this kind of conversation also. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much.

You're welcome. Such a pleasure, such a joy. Thank you, thank you.

So what are we doing now? Okay, we have Shivani and Satya and some more. Okay, we'll see. These are the ones I see first. So, Shivani, you want to come in here? Must already be quite late then.

Hello, hi. It's the holiday, so they're still like, they started sleeping in like till lunchtime, so they're up all night. I just wanted to come up, Father, because it's literally been so long and, well, yeah, you know. Yeah, I was talking about you like a distant memory almost, like my sister, she lives in Australia. Yeah, I know, yeah, I can relate. Yeah, I can relate to the hospital, it was... yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I just wanted to say hi. I don't know, something... I don't know. Like, Father, for about like a year after I started sort of drifting off, I was struggling with this whole missing my chance and, you know, all that stuff. And just now I just was like, I just want to come up. I just, I don't know, I don't know, I just wanted to say hi.

Yeah, yeah. You may feel like you're not being very articulate. I feel, I hear you in my heart. And these words may seem hollow or not, I don't know, but I want to just remind you that everything, everything is grace. There is no such thing as a missed opportunity, or there's no such one who has missed their chance. There is nothing like that. As long as you're open to God, you're open to the truth, God is here waiting for you.

Yeah, it still niggles every now and again, that feeling. But you know, I'm still listening. It's that saying, I'm still, I don't know, bugging you every now and again. So anyway, I love you, Father, you know that. It's been almost eight years. Yeah, I know, that's part of the reason why it's like, oh my God, eight years. But yeah, it's still good. I'm, you know, superficially picking things up, but yeah, still here.

I'm not leaving you in this lifetime with any false notions of yourself.

Yeah, I know. Yeah, it's funny because in the same time, like things are being, I don't know, it's just like everything they say, it's everything dissolves. It's not you get anything new. And more and more that thing, like the girl that was just speaking and saying, you know, I used to be very much like... and I did go through that thing of like frustration so badly, like, you know, but that's settling down even, you know. So it's just all dissolution really. Yeah, but again, yeah, I don't know, I'm just here. I just missed you. I just wanted to say hi.

What is the housing situation now? All set?

All settled. Oh, we actually, you know what? The weirdest thing. It was so stressful, seven months at my in-laws, mother-in-law's, fighting going on, all sorts of stuff, and then two weeks in the car. And then we got this house and it's like super cool. It's like, it's the best. It's like everything we wanted: dishwasher, gas cooking, air conditioning, you know. It's so cute, it's like an old railway house and it's being painted nice and it's all done up sort of really cute. So all that stress, literally the best outcome, you know. Absolutely. Anyway, so we're not homeless anymore. Yeah, love you, love you, love you so much.

You're coming to Bangalore as soon as we open things up here in the beginning.

Yeah, as soon as I can. I'll probably bring Mick with me this time. I'm trying to con the kids, but yeah, I really wanted to, you know, I'll drag him along. He listens, like he enjoys it, but yeah, I don't think it really... I don't think he needs it. He's like a Buddha, but he, you know, he listens and he enjoys it. Sorry.

Yeah, you know, we'll just have some fun when he comes. It's fine. Yeah, he's, he's a lot of fun. So we will. There you go.

All right, love you, Father.

Okay, I can hear my throat almost failing, but can I hear from Satya for a moment? Don't hear you, my dear. Are you saying something yet? Ah, no, I see your lips moving but no sound. For some of you, it's happening like this today, you know. Atma, I know. Did you mute yourself? No, that's definitely not going to work. No idea. You can type it out or you can send me a message now. Look at it, this is God's way of helping my throat today. But I love you so much. Thank you, thank you. I love you. You want to give it one last shot? Did you fix something? No. Okay, let's quickly go to the... do you want to come back here? I think, yeah, yeah.

Thank you. No, it's fine, it's fine. Um, do you come to Satsang on the Fridays or do you come on Monday as well?

Every, every day that I can. Okay, okay. On Mondays and Fridays also. But now, when every time I, I can. I can look good. I want to hear from you on Monday, perhaps you can speak some more then. Okay, let's try Atma if his mic is working. Try normally. No, not at all. No audio. Okay, we meet each other soon. Thank you. See there, you put your hand up again, or is it from earlier? You did? Okay, okay. You can come in.

Hello, can you hear me well? Okay, so, um, I, I just want to share also the little... it's called as Makam, the Shams city. So I, I quickly come here. Yes, actually it is very simple. Yes, actually one knows that there is nobody was etcetera. It's just kind of a member of him, but his energy is just so here, right? Yes, here. And yeah, I just also want to share here and welcome you all here. Thank you, thank you. I, I want to say something, I want to share something because this, this, this pilgrimage has started with me. Like, it's of course incredibly such a divine place and at the same time, just, I want to offer something, bring something. And it's also related with womanhood. Like, as you know, the, the Muslim culture, very much suppression on, on women. Even though, you know, I don't experience so much like this, but some, some events has come up and I, I, I again remember how does it feel like. And I always come to the presence of Shams and just bring it. And now I, I feel very much to bring this, this, this heartbreak at your feet somehow, on behalf of all the Muslim women actually. Yes, just, just want to bring it at your feet. May, may this just come to an end somehow.

My Father's grace took care of everything that needs taken care of. All, may all beings, all aspects of consciousness recognize their true nature, their true being. May they be in peace, in love and joy. May all find their way to the holy presence of these ages. Glory to your Father. Thank you so much. Glory to God. Glory to God. Glory to all the saints and sages. Thank you. Okay, Atmanjoti wants to come for a minute before we go. Is this going to be shadow, shadow? No, much better.

Um, I wasn't sure I raised my hand. I erased it, I raised it, I embraced it. Um, again, the thing with the Jesus came up and I don't know what to do with it. Jesus month, no?

So obviously, so again, Jesus month, so he's bound to come up. Did you hear the chat with Cad last week was it, or the week before?

Yeah, no, but that, that wasn't like the thing that... um, I've been experiencing this for some, for some time, for a couple of months or something. And just sometimes I would just think of it and it becomes so much something, I don't know.

Do you remind me, what is the trouble? It's like thought of Jesus or come with a lot of something, a lot...

I don't know where this is coming from because this is really new. Never before, like, or I, I didn't, I didn't feel like I had any connection with him.

That's beautiful, you know. That's so beautiful that suddenly you feel in your heart you're connected in a way to an aspect of the Lord which you never felt you were so connected with. And it's beautiful. And may that divinity, may the holy presence take care of this resonance, this connection, and may nurture it in the most beautiful way.

And maybe one more thing, thank you. I feel like I want to just express it like that now, that there's some guilt that is felt. So what happened to him, and I know it's so ridiculous, that's what he gets to me.

But actually, what, what... um, how it is represented more, and that's a probably a better representation, is that the suffering of Jesus on the cross was meant to free us from our suffering and guilt. So whatever sacrifice had to be made, whatever suffering had to be done, is his message is that he's done it for us already. So now you can be at peace, you can be free. You're suddenly frozen for us, my dear. That's a very meditative posture while blowing your nose. It's very still. I remember Atmanjoti used to be here and sometimes she was going through some things and I would just come and joke with her and just even irritate her even more. I started doing that again.

No, no, no. Tears hasn't stopped, but some other things. There is a lot of stillness as well, like it's like it's okay.

When you connect with the Lord in any aspect, whether it is the Satguru aspect or whatever, labels only the human mind has these separate ideas and labels. So, but the point is though, the connection leads to this openness, this surrender, and then everything is the problem of the Divine. You don't have to take anything on to yourself. No blame, no credit, no pride, no guilt. None of that is yours anymore. The screen suddenly went completely blind. That's what I mean. It's all good. Nice. Now, today's Satsang has a very different sort of feel to it and I'm enjoying the very taste. It's like God's presence working so full on in so many of you. And I'm, I'm seeing you and I'm reading the reports of so many of your sangha brothers and sisters. I can only be in service to this grace which seems to be operating so strongly. And may my Father's grace bless all of you so much. Just remember that there is nothing to be afraid of and Guruji's grace is taking care of everything. Okay, I feel like I'm going to stop now. Love you all so much. And maybe we can just end today without bhajan, would that be okay? I need to just blast so much love, so much you.