You Are the Beloved Child of God - 9th January 2026

You think—last time we were talking about—what are we talking about if the forces at play are so beyond us? We're talking from the scientific perspective in terms of the worldly perspective, and we talked about the out-of-worldly perspective. Either way, what is that worry? So then the determinations of 'should be,' 'could be'—like we say 'should have, could have, would have'—are just meant to create trouble. What will happen?

So, what is your worry? Okay, I'm going to digress slightly because it's coming. Once you've determined that your home is not this one, you see, either way—either this whole play of Maya is unreal, you see, or that you know that this is not your final destination, your final home is God's heart, God's feet, whichever way you want to look at it. Whether you call it Vaikuntha or Goloka or Heaven, that doesn't matter. Or even if you have no sense of intuition about that, at least the sense of intuition must be here that this is not permanent, that this is a fleeting dream.

See, this much anyone who comes into spirituality starts to get a sense deeply that really the sense of tangibility and reality that we give to this waking state appearance is starting to fade away. It's not really that potent, not really that important. You see, so there are all of these pointers. You see, all of these pointers. Firstly, the world itself, the reality is questionable. Secondly, without thinking, how much of this almost clearly unreal world can be fathomed is questionable. What my role is as a child of God then has nothing to do with what my thoughts are offering me anyway. And what I find in my insight, in my inquiry, has nothing to do with any of this, you see.

So it must be some massive amount of mental hypnosis that Maya does. It gets us into that mold. You see? So what you're describing is actually that process of how the hypnosis happens.

Like what I'm referring to is the hypnosis is like the daze that we get into.

No, it's just like the mystifier has mystified us, you see, into this very strange sort of mush. You see, because nobody really takes themselves to be the body also. We may say that, 'Oh, the confusion is because of the body.' You see, nobody really takes themselves to be just the body. You see, because if you took yourself just to be the body, are you hungry? Do you need to sleep? Your concerns would whittle down to the very bare minimum, no? As we call it. So we take ourselves to be this strange concoction of body plus mind plus idea of who we are, what we should look like, you know, what we want to do, what we don't want to have, what we want to have. All of these things become like a mishmash and we are roaming around like this mishmash of a thing.

You see, 'But I don't want this, but I want only like this'—is your body saying that? No. So this strange house of cards that we call the ego is built up of these conceptual ideas that we've accumulated over the years. And spirituality offers the way out of it, both in terms of true insight of who we are, and while that true insight is settling in, offering us alternative constructs which are much more beautiful, much more touching to our hearts, and much more un-oppressive basically—that we are not oppressed by them as beloveds of God.

But when you start seeing the stark contrast between what is true and what our mind is proposing, you see, then all this starts to become lighter. You see, how to see what is true? So to see what is true, we must go to the true place. Now in the world, we call the true place the mystical place. What is the true place? There's not really a place. So when I am empty of myself, even empty of the idea that, 'Oh, this has happened to me, why did this happen to me?' or 'Why did I waste so much time in my life on this?' What are we talking about? Who are we talking about?

You see, that is the one-two punch of the mind. 'Ah yes, yes, yes. So then that means I wasted so much of my life on this.' No, it doesn't mean that, you see. So we don't have to go from belief to belief because all of them are junk. So that is the trick, because the mind will try to decipher, 'So what is he saying now?' You see, and it'll conclude, 'This is what he's saying now.' But this is not what I'm saying now. What I'm saying is also not what I'm saying now, and it's not a lie. It is a lie, but not really.

So meet the true place where the meeting can happen, either in satsang or with anything which is true from a true sense, is when we leave our hands empty. If we're holding on to the heavy burden that we call our lives, holding that, we cannot fathom God's reality, God's presence. So let's not make a path out of the spiritual path. Then it will be the true spiritual path. So if you make a path out of it saying, 'Ah, step one, I now see that I am not the body,' or 'I now...' soon that becomes knowledge and we try to live out of that new frame. 'I'm not the body,' so everything becomes a new shape, new frame that we try to fit into. And then because we are barely able to convince ourselves, we want to convince everyone around us. 'But I'm not the body! But you are not the body! Do you see you're not the body?' Then why is your body having to say all this forcefully? What is the need to convince so much?

So because our frames are so unstable, we feel like getting likes on those frames will make them seem more true. So it's not really a staircase to be climbed in that way. But when you jump off the cliff, then you start climbing the staircase. If you're climbing the staircase, you're not climbing the stair. So there are two ways to jump, isn't it? You have two perspectives to hold while you jump. One is that you jump into the empty—got nothing to do with what's happening above this level. It's none of my business. I just jump out of it. That is the attempt to jump.

The second attempt to jump is to jump into God's hands. That 'I'm going to snap out of this life, snap out of this egotism and live my life in devotion to God. Whatever is His will, only that will I have followed.' Both give us the perspective to jump out of our minds. You see, and that jumping out into the higher intelligence is easier when we've started to lighten up with our positions. Anyway, when our holding on is not so strong, you see.

I saw somebody, the bungee jumping instructor trying to instruct someone to take the jump. Huh? So, what do they do? They didn't—I mean sometimes they do that also, but this case was better where he's like, 'Madam, can you just lean back a bit?' So, she's at the back. She's going to fall that way backward. 'Madam, just lean back a bit. Just a little bit more. Just a little, little more. I know it's scary. I'm not pushing nothing. Just a little more. Little, little.' You see, little, little like that. And then you just give a slight nudge. Just gone like that. You see?

So when you're loosening your positions that way, just a little more. What do you feel strongly about? Can you loosen it a little bit? You see, 'My life should not be like this. This person should not be like this. My teacher should not be like this. Satsang should not be like this.' Just loosen it. What is a loser? So you may fall into a loser position which is like they like that, but it's all right. What to do? You see, then what is the loser position? So it loosens up—maybe I'm not given the best example. You see?

So all that we call acceptance, forgiveness, all of these things—compassion, kindness—falls into those categories where we loosen up on this tightness. You see, because this tightness is making us suffer. 'Why should she only be like... why should I have so little money? I should...' you know, all of these things become too tight and they cause problem. And the sooner we do the exploration about whether we really know any of this, the better it is for us.

So let's take the most obvious one. 'The money in my bank should not be so little.' Do we really know? It seems like obvious, no, more would be better. But that's not what the research says. They say that after a certain point it doesn't really add to anything in our lives. You see, and there are any of these feel-good type deathbed tests that they did. Somebody did a survey and they saw that they surveyed 200 people on their dying day and most of them said, 'I wish I had not worked so much, but I had loved the people around me more, spend more time with them.' These kind of things. So much of this kind of evidence is there.

But really, if you dive into the truths, truthiness of what our belief system is really made up of, you see that it's not as concrete as we take it to be. And just that realizing it's not as concrete is pretty good. It's pretty good. See, because living too tightly in that frame also leaves no room for the most absurd possibility which is being offered to you in satsang, which is that the Lord of the universe lives in your heart. That's why for most people they can't resonate with this idea. Not literally anyway. This maybe theoretically at some level. Okay. I think it's very limited in that sense.

See that it's not as concrete as we take it to be. And just that realizing it's not as concrete is pretty good. It's pretty good. See, because living too tightly in that frame also leaves no room for the most absurd possibility which is being offered to you in satsang, which is that the Lord of the universe lives in your heart. That's why for most people they can't resonate with this idea. Not literally anyway. This maybe theoretically at some level. Okay.

I think it's a very limited in that sense. I can never know what is truly right for them because my perception will always be very limited. Right?

Yes. So our mental perspective will always be limited and that's why you must always be open like that to room to grow and to learn and to admit our mistakes. So we must always be open in that way. But the good thing is as you start living from that higher intelligence also, you will never know—at least in my case, never know in the broader frame—but the next step or the next moment or the next action movement, that seems fairly certain.

But what I'm saying is that there's a problem on both sides. I'll tell you what it is. You see, I'll tell you what it is once. Just indulge me for a minute. So here we can never know. Here what we know many times we don't have the words to explain yet. You see, so it seems a bit strange, but that is why we need faith to trust that if the nudge is left, left, you see, just follow left without being able to explain it. You see, because people around you may say, 'But why are you going left? Right is obviously the better option.' You see, and you're not able to explain it yet. And that makes us feel like the mind oppresses that a lot because it doesn't want you to change the teacher firstly, and it just wants its way. But when we start to learn to live in faith, then we learn to take that tiny step based on the nudge from the heart and that's all that we can do. The problem is that we can't really put into language yet what our heart is showing us. You see, and the mind, which is the seller of all kinds of language, doesn't know really fully what it's talking about, not even partly. So to live in faith is a difficult task, but it's very, very worth it. It's very, very worth it. And the thing is that it's not even about being able to explain to other people. You see, the problem is you can't explain it to yourselves.

That's why do I think that just like feel the way it's an expression of not having to explain what should your approach be? Have you fallen into a lower truth or a higher truth?

Higher truth. And that higher truth is joyful or painful? And the immensity of the joy of this discovery is unparalleled. That I am a beloved of God or that I am that. The thing is that that's what's been the theme for the last few days, that the hypnotizer then normalizes everything. You're taking some science-type examples. So do we have—we normalize the fact that we're sitting on this big large ball which is rotating at tremendous speed, you see, and around its own axis as well as around the sun. Huge speed it's rotating. We've normalized it, you see. We don't feel like when we put our story, 'Oh, this happened to me today, my boss shouted at me,' you know, saying on this ball which is rotating at super fast speed and is all around the thing in this tiny place, then this tiny office where I'm working for some paper and plastic, then this happened between two insignificant, you see, objects. We don't see that because you normalized it. You see, then it gets crazier and crazier. We said last time we were moving at the speed of light into the next moment. Who here says, 'Oh, while I've been moving at the speed of light, I also went for a jog in the morning'? That's not included in us. And this is not spiritual woo-woo, no. This is very now clear science, very, very certified by Nobel prizes type science. We normalized all that. In the same way, we are normalizing the fact that I'm saying that we are God's children. We are the beloved of God. And when we call Him, He's with us. Even when we don't call Him, He's with us. But it's important to call Him so we fall into Him. You see? Yeah. It's Him who has made all this speed of light and movement and all this stuff. It's Him, the one I'm talking about. But how do we hear it? Yeah. But you know, so where is that like recognition of what is being spoken? This is a good contemplation.

So I told Meera that why don't you, looking at the Virat, so I said, is this Virat an imagination? Is this exaggeration or is this like a what, minimization? Which one is it? Is it just like you write something like poetry? What does it represent? Where to meet the truth of that? You see, so if I was to propose to you that even that doesn't come close to the glory of God, then will you just take it conceptually or is there a way to meet any of this? You see, and if I told you that your memory is not the meeting place, your imagination is not the meeting place, your thoughts are not the meeting place, your convictions are not the meeting place, there's another meeting place where you have to stay where the seed has been planted, but you have to let it flower. You see, we talked about how to hear satsang last time. We can't solve it. We can't just get it. I wish I could just come and I just get there is that part of it which is like inside which can come like that, you see. But still has to deepen, it has to blossom. It has to flower.

So we have so many pointers in today's world. Even 100 years ago or 200 years ago, to access a pointer like St. Teresa of Avila said that she would have to borrow the Bible to read, you see, because they were not so easily printable, available, and affordable. Now we just internet, tuck-tuck, we get everything, you see. So pointers are everywhere, you see. But I see the beauty of that way also because something is not so accessible, then you just dive into it and you try to retain it and then it stays with you for weeks because you will get that copy back after weeks. You see, so because others are using it. So then it stays with you. You try to keep it with you. You see? So then we snap out of that 'prove it to me, convince me' sort of mode and we take the onus on ourselves. How can I meet this? How can I meet this? Then that part where you need just a few pointers. What happened? Just a few pointers, but it teaches you where to live. It shows you where true insight can happen. True Darshan can happen. I feel Darshan is a better word than insight, but I don't know, there's a parallel in English. Darshan has a sense of divinity about it. Insight is just like, 'Oh, I thought something fancy.' Sometimes it can also pose as an insight, you see, but when we say insight in satsang, it's more like a Darshan than 'I thought something great.' So that insight, that Darshan can happen when we rest in the true place.

So in satsang, we're freeing ourselves from the oppression you spoke about and learning to fall into the truth. We are that. I know that the propensity is to normalize it. Like it feels like, can I really, if I had to take every decision, every narrative based on the fact that I'm moving, I'm standing or sitting or lying down on this ball which is moving on super fast speed, you see, then it seems almost impossible to navigate. But do we need that instrument of navigation itself? And even if we don't become completely dismissive of it, at least we recognize the fact that it is a limited instrument. How do I simplify? I just—so what am I saying? I'm saying that if we don't become like this, like this, like this about anything from here and we live like this, like this, like this about everything from here, you see, then that is a spiritual life. But what happens to us is we live like this, like this, like this about everything from here and warrior mode about everything from bit. It's possible to make this a bit more. So that's it. So lighter, lighter about this, stronger, stronger about this. What is the truth? What is reality? Don't be—don't shake so easily from faith and be easily shaken from the mind, not the other way around. You see what happens? We are easily shaken from faith or the slightest thing happens, we are out of there and we are back to worry, concern, what's going to happen, you know. And to shake us out of worry, it takes three satsangs a week for long, long—this is the human condition and that is the power of Maya. So we have to reverse that by staying at the true place more, by living there more, by remembering God more, by taking His name more, by doing the inquiry more.

And don't fall into the trap of making spiritual divides. That's also a big Maya trick. Or like that, like that, which is my path? Am I—what is bringing you to God now? Use it. Don't waste. Yeah, you spend 50 years just deciding which is my path. No, just jump. You just jump. This is appealing to you now. To fold your hands is appealing to you. Do it. If asking the question 'Who am I?' is appealing to you, do it. 'No, but first I need to know who I am between these two.' What do you think the mind will do with that? The mind and intellect will take you for a loop for your whole life while you determine what is the path for me. Who is the right teacher? Should I read this book or should I read that book? And so you go—if you go to Paris, if you keep looking at the map only, all the saying, 'What is the best route to Arc de Triomphe? What is the best route?' and you wasted your whole holiday figuring out, 'Should I take this left or should I take that?' No, you just go jump. That is the faithful path. That is the path of faith, that He'll hold you up. Don't worry. If your intent is pure, which is to be with Him. If your intent is pure, which is to find the truth of who you are, He'll hold you up. Hold you up. He will not let you fall. You will be taken care of. So what are you finding in your heart? And is that not the most amazing news or is it like some stale news?

Yes. Yes. It was amazing the first time I heard it. You know, now it's still that God lives in my heart. It is He who prays.

The Atma who prays, that should just blow us up. Or I mean, it can be different for all of us, but anything like this should not keep us settled in a normalized way. See, like it's God. So we have to break out of this mode and that's the theme for this year: to break out of this mode. 'Yeah, I know Ram is with me, but you know, then it is said also that those who pray to Ram, they suffer a lot,' you know, this kind of thing. And you know, what did you say? Ram is with you, why doesn't have that? You see, because then what has happened is heart knowledge has been given to the mind and the mind has done woo-woo on it and it's become, 'Yeah, but you know, that one can dimension let's say or yes...'

This the heart as long as one increasingly like meets the heart. Yes. And what I'm trying to do then is to break the habit of taking from the heart and giving to the head and then operating from head. Is it right?

Okay. So what did I now understand? You see, prior to your making an understanding out of it, how are you? Who is with you? You see, I'm not even saying who are you, because who are you is bigger news, but let's keep it little—it's all relative—but little smaller than that, which is who's with you. So we come into the hall. The hall is called Recall at Kendra. So, so to get insight which is more like Darshan than knowledge about the Atma itself. There is a place that you can go for that itself should be—because I was told that Atma is only for one in a million and if you're really—if you've been a sage in your last 20 lives, then you may have the possibility. Some nonsense like that. But now you're being told that it's universal and it's very natural. It's very original, not complex at all. That then the real meaning of it, the fact that spirit lives within you, you as the Self. How are we meeting there? Spirit is God. God in His mercy created the most meetable way that you can meet God. Now Atma is within you.

You are told that Atma is only for one in a million and if you've been a sage in your last twenty lives, then you may have the possibility—some nonsense like that. But now you're being told that it's universal and it's very natural. It's very original, not complex at all. That then is the real meaning of it: the fact that spirit lives within you, you as the Self. How are we meeting there? Spirit is God. God in His mercy created the most meetable way that you can meet God. Now Atma is within you. Where is the room for self-concern, anxiety?

Father, you asked what are you meeting in the heart, and I just want to say it aloud because we're constantly reporting about the mind and the mind's trouble. But again and again, I have tried and seen and checked that whenever I turn inwards, Father, He is there without a doubt. There's not a single time that I have turned inside in my heart and He has not been there. And even when I had jumped to Him, He has helped me. If I look back, even before I was in Satsang, He has helped me each time. I just want to say it aloud because otherwise I'm only reporting about how the mind is operating, but He has been there. How can I say fully that He is there in more real a way than can ever be experienced in this way, Father? And you were asking that what are you finding in your heart, and this is what it is truly inside: that He is really there.

And compare the immensity of this with the offering on the head. Is it?

The offering in the head is just like a temptation or like a sly something. And every time that I have fought and I have stayed with God, how can I say in words? It has just been boundless. It's just been God there.

Every time you sing?

Every single time.

Not like 50%?

No, Father, every single time that I have turned.

Yes, exactly. So, so all that is needed is for us to turn. You see, and every time you say that you have turned, He has been there. He has helped you. Who is this He?

The beloved Father who runs this universe.

Those in the world, how do we forget this?

For myself at least, I can say I feel like sometimes I get sucked into that old conditioning or the pattern or that thinking trap. And like you've been saying, Father, that focus prayer and the more time we spend with God, that is the only answer to break through this. It's just like a smoker, right? It's just a bad habit to break through that.

And how did you switch from that mode from when we started to this mode?

Which mode was I when we started?

There were more than that. That wasn't it.

I was actually, Father, the tears were more about...

Don't defend that one. Tell me about how you are now in this.

So ask me again. Whatever. Good. Good.

But now you're in this mode. So what is the switch?

It can clearly be seen, Father, that...

And why was it not seen fifteen minutes ago?

I feel like it was being seen, but the shock of how obstructed—that was the word you used, right?—how obstructed. I feel like the more time I'm spending in prayer, the greater I'm seeing how...

Okay, very good. Excellent, excellent point. Now, 'I was very obstructed for so long, how much I was obstructed' versus 'God is.' Okay. Can you compare the magnitude of those statements?

Yeah. Father, God is here. Feels like God is here. Like that powerful and...

'I was obstructed' has a quality to push you under the ground and...

...and do more of this analysis.

Lament in a sense.

Which is all right, so I'm not saying we must not see, but we must see the spot which is holding us back and jump to the truth. Otherwise, there's a danger we get into the two-punch of the time. One punch is to trouble you in this way, and two punch is to say, 'See how much my mind troubled me in this way for so long.' So it's good to see how it is troubled, but good to come to the good news.

And Father, you've been saying that we need to speak about God, not always be complaining from the mind. And that's why I felt that when you were saying that, 'Okay, what are you seeing in the heart?' that I need to speak up because otherwise I'm only complaining. And when are we speaking for God?

Exactly. It's very important. And I'm not talking about like coming from a mental place about this, that now I need to hold a new position in my mind. Is it? No. I'm saying stay in the 'how.' You see? So from the heart, what is here? What is true?

And Father, why do we speak about God in a meek way? Why can't we speak it out? Because when I have to make some report about the mind, then there's full energy. And I'm saying even the outward posture, Father, once you asked like, is it about self-image when we are speaking about God? And it is, right? It's something about... and I don't want to fall into that habit, Father.

So there was a joke that St. Teresa of Avila made where something happened and then something... one of you can remind me. So then she says, 'No wonder you have so few friends' to God. No, but really, God has very few friends. You see? Because even the friends of God are mostly like, 'Let me just, you know, what will people think? What will they...' So God knows that God needs more friends. What is the context of that story?

She was in a carriage or something and a lot of supplies, I don't know what, and they were crossing a river and then that got detached and got swept away. I don't remember what conversation, I remember this...

Something line, somebody told her God's way and she was like, 'That's why God has so few friends. No wonder you have so few.' Do we feel like we are beloveds of God? That is what your heart is telling you. I was saying to one of you, maybe Ram, if you found out that you're the son of the king of Mysore, then what would you have to worry about? You see? But you're being told in Satsang that you are the son of the King of this universe, yet we worry. Because what is the evidence of that? That's the question.

Okay, let me try and answer this question. So if you were the son of the king of Mysore, then you would have the palace that you could enter and use the palace as yours. All of that would be evident. What is the evidence that you are the son of God? That you are children of God? See, that evidence is there. The truth of this life, if you look back upon it, that evidence is everywhere. Every step of the way, we have been helped. Every single step of the way, more than possible for a physical father, physical mother to do, we have been helped by God every step of the way. You see, but we lose that vision and we normalize in words like 'coincidence,' you see, or even 'destiny' or even 'karma.' That's why I never use it, because it takes away the living, breathing grace that is upon us.

Once you start to live like that, once you start to see that—and you know that I always share what my own explorations are, so again, I'm not speaking from a pedestal—but I'm seeing that more and more, that this universe belongs to Him and I am His beloved. Not in a special way, but all of us are. Doesn't that change all our stories? All our stories are about little old me on my own, then I had to do all of this and hoping for the glorious win. Easy. But if you really saw how things were, normalizing things connected to like not being able to speak about God, like a kind of a hypnosis which doesn't allow us to speak from the heart because it's the same thing as what Maya does, right? Normalizes.

Anytime normalization of things becomes like a coping mechanism. But in this case, it's a denial mechanism.

For the mind.

Yeah. That the mind uses. We just come into a strained sort of denial. And that's why we are able to dwell for most of our time on the most ludicrous things which are not worthy of the time of beloveds of God or friends of God.

I'm not even saying God, getting to who you really are. You see, because if we dwelled in... if you are on the Jnana path, you can't argue with this because what you're saying then is much more than what I'm saying. Then what you are saying is that the Saguna consciousness takes birth within you. You are the birthplace of God Himself. So I am underplaying it by talking about being friends of God. So do you want to see how what we really are as awareness itself has been underplayed? You just have to look at the state of modern Advaita. Do you know you are 'That'? What become conversational trump cards for us to use, thinking that we know something conceptually. What are we talking about?

Brahman said that it is the birth of 'I Am' itself which causes all the trouble. Someone of you reminded me last time, it is usually seen as the 'I am something' which causes all the trouble. But here is the man who said that this 'I Am' itself causes all the trouble. Who is he talking about? 'I Am That I Am,' imagine. You see, but what has happened is we have become quick to learn these words conceptually, but we are not patient to get to the insight that they are offering for us because it's not clear to us that the concepts we know are not knowledge. This knowledge, not Atma—at least I'm not trying to put anyone down—but if we were to say, 'Yes, I came to Satsang ten years back,' or if I was to report that, 'Oh, I went to a Satsang in 2009 and I saw that I am That, just saw that this is what happened and this is what happened to me and this is what happened.' See, but what happened to the 'That-ness' of you? You're lost in the narrative.

No, so this is what I mean by normalizing in some way. Maybe you have to find a better word. But just remade that which is un-normal. Just, 'Yeah, I know I'm That, you know, but you know Prarabdha still works so I have to deal with my Prarabdha.' Who has to deal? But you just said you are That. So let's not get into this mental jugular. Have such a fragrance of God within them or whatever, and yet then be so... you know, like so oppressed by the mind is a more correct word. I was like, how can those two be simultaneously together? And it's just puzzling me because it feels like what's going on then, you know, how is this happening? And then I was like trying to figure it out in my head, which is not getting it. But I was just saying two sides of the mind.

What? Say again. When you feel like something is happening simultaneously between truth and false, then there are usually two quarters of the two ends of the mind: one posing as the truth, one posing as the false. Wherever the tennis match is happening, leave that whole thing, even if you think you're leaving the truth also.

No, yeah, I hear you. But so I'm just saying that so when one, when the idea... hear that? So you can either... you can only be in one, here or here. You can't be half.

Well, you have to work really hard to go from head to heart that fast. I was just talking about like, okay, I got the mind loves visitors, it's not going to let you go without a seven-course meal. Do you go there? What about this? Now that you're here, why don't we resolve everything that is troubling the world?

Last time when you said stay in that unsaid place, that really... you know, so I mean it's so powerful to know that okay, it's unsaid but it's like the non-verbal place. You know, you can... you don't need... you can't understand, forget it. So just somehow just stay there and make the intention.

To somehow is the not understanding part, yeah.

Not trying to understand.

As you let go of the mind, intellect, then we fall into our heart. Which position will you ask this question? As that 'That' or friends of God or child of God or servant of God? Maybe I should just ask this question before every question. I don't know.

So let me start. So Father, so there is a when... when I'm in present or I'm available with God or in presence of God, then...

Yes.

Then it could be there are very few moments that there's nothing. Most of the time there will be something coming out and then some thoughts and which I can see from distance. So that at one stage you said left and right, let's say...

Or friends of God, or child of God, or servant of God. Maybe I should just ask this question before every question. I don't know. So let me start. So Father, there is a... when I'm in the present or I'm available with God, or in the presence of God, then...

Yes.

Then it could be there are very few moments that there's nothing. Most of the time there will be something coming out, and then some thoughts, which I can see from a distance. So at one stage you said, let's say practically left and right. If I'm at a place where I have to either take left or right and I am in the presence of God, are you saying that without even a thought coming I would take left or right? Or do I have to wait for an instruction which will convert into thought to take left or right? Something that just stands there, or in the presence, just flow further? You did this experiment question also, but yeah.

So what happens is the chairing of satsang is the best example, a live example. You ask this question attentively; it was heard. Now the words are flowing out of my mouth from my heart with no translation, or the attempt is to keep minimum interference from the head, you see. So if satsang can be shared in this way, then our life can also be lived in this way. Okay?

So it's more...

Do you feel, in hearing of the answer, do you feel like there's a lot of thought happening? There's a lot of evaluation happening?

No filters there, Father. So that's exactly... I feel that there is no instruction coming to your mind where you are giving it to me, right? It's just coming.

That's the attempt. That's the difficulty we were talking about. I don't know if you were there in satsang, but the difficulty of being a teacher is that it's not a difficult job, okay, but the difficulty of being a teacher is that when you've been asked a question for ten years, then the mind remembers all the answers. How do I retain myself fresh and from the heart in that moment and not get caught up in the contamination of the mind? So it's very easy to fall into that trap because you feel like, 'I know what you're asking. This is the answer that works.' You see? That can be. So how to keep yourself in God's presence without thinking that I know the answer? That's the key. But in that is also the way we have to live now. You see? How to keep yourself in God's presence without, 'Oh, this I know. This situation I know how to deal with.' How to keep ourselves fresh from that? And that is to follow God's will.

So what I understand as God's will... not understand as God's will is not my will. Is that enough, Father, or there is a God's will also?

God's will is whenever whatever moves through you when you live in His presence. So, if the words that are being shared in satsang are God's will, you see, then there's a potential to understand those words as well. So there's potential to understand those words. Now, the root of your question is: can I make it understood also when God's will is playing out? You see, like it is possible to understand these words, which is that will I hear it in the form of language one day? You see, will I hear it in the form of guidance one day? Yes, you will. Practice your faith, which is to follow without knowing at all, then the guidance can reveal itself in various ways.

Another question, still there, not so much a question, but you know when you say the mind's offering... mind offers and the mind offers. I think it's actually sensing that, you know, when I was staying in that temple, that slowly, slowly that mind's offering decreases. And I feel it like what you've talked about today is very beautiful and so important because the danger is that one can start giving it new food so that it then offers again. But otherwise, I'm finding that the steam of the mind's offering is really reducing and not much... I mean, maybe I may not be hit. I keep reading about all kinds... I mean, one must bow down, but I'm feeling these days that the mind is almost like, 'Okay,' you know, is saying, 'Okay, she's doing this.' Whatever it is, it's not making any... but it's like...

So as long as that is very good, as long as it stays in observation, it's very good. The day it becomes a position, it is trouble.

Same. You observe it, we notice it.

You see, but the minute it starts creeping into, 'Oh, I am now over my mind,' the mind is like, 'Thank you for the welcome mat, here I come.' But not to live like... I'm not saying this to live in some sort of intimidated fear. It's just that we are opening ourselves to... like when we say, 'I am now beyond my mind,' that is like a mental position that we can end up making.

What you said is very... more like the words say, 'I am beyond my...' I don't even have that thought. It's more like my mind is at rest.

So noticing like what you said is very innocent. So just you're observing that that which used to be so oppressive and almost treacherous now is light. What is the key for living in God? Yeah, but it's really letting go of 'What about me?' Letting go of 'What about...' is that what we make you call in a fancy way self-concern or all of these things, self-image? I said no. Suppose you got a special invitation to visit Ram Ji's courtroom and you visited from there and you're reporting back to your family and you're saying, 'I went there and then I was so happy, then I did like that, then I spoke to this one, but I spoke to that one, then this happened to me, then this...' Everybody will say, 'But tell us about Him also!' You see? So many times we don't realize that this is what we are doing in the spiritual journey. We realize that the protagonist of the story changed the minute we stepped into spirituality. And God allowed us into His darshan. When God allowed us onto His path, a true path towards God, then it stopped being about you. It became about Him. And at best, we can have ourselves as a tiny side character of the story, a sidekick in the story, but not the main protagonist. It is no longer about this false me. So just check how much of our day is going dwelling on the false one. Even the smallest amount is too much. Lesser the better. Lesser the better. It is said that the lesser I am, then the more He is. What do you say? 50/50? 50/50 is not bad actually.

So if you look at your day before satsang today, half the time in God and half in me. So let's at least aim for that ratio first because that will become 99. Hello. We all keep at it kind of, which is a bad habit that I continue doing. I want something.

You will never be able to squeeze God into your narrative. He's too big for that. We have to squeeze ourselves into His narrative. Huh?

Getting out of the picture, talking about the narrow... it's so narrow. Like it feels like it's getting narrow. It's narrow but it's getting narrower. Like there's no space. And the mind tries its best. 'This one you take.' But that one... yeah. This, that... even that one thought is too much to take and that's all there is. But you just want to say, 'No, this self-concern, you know, this is true, this I have to speak about.' But no, you don't. And that's the fight I'm seeing. Like, no, I don't need to. I can stay with God, you know, that faith. Like it's a fight, but I'm fighting, Father.

What are the tools for the fight? Like many times people may be getting confused because we are using this word 'fight' a lot. So it's something like... but that seemed like taking opposition. It's not... that's not the fight. The fight is to keep the lane for God.

Yeah.

Keep the lane for God. What are the tools? His name, His remembrance, silent contemplation, inquiry. These are the tools of fighting. But not to give in to self-concern, not to give...

Not a bit, it doesn't... there's no scope. And that's the muscle builder. There's no scope. And I was watching David yesterday and through the movie I could see like my mind, you know. So I was just taking His name constantly and then something came up and then His light became apparent. Like, sir, I saw that you fight through faith and then He makes Himself... not always, but many times, 'I'm here,' you know. And that was so enough.

Can I dwell into the 'not always' part of it? When we are fighting using faith as the instrument, then that 'not always' is always, always.

Yes.

I don't need phenomenal evidence.

Yes.

My faith tells me that He is here. Now, that's why faith is so difficult to understand as a concept and most will think of faith as a blind belief that you just have to think easier. You see, that may help as a pointer actually in that moment, but faith has a completely different quality than belief.

This is... what is this that I experience with Father? So when I say the light becomes apparent, and when the light is not apparent, I am calling Him like my usual is me turned towards Him. Yeah, just ask, I don't know what to say. Yeah, faith, not apparency, but it's okay, that's also this. I'm going through memory but I want to ask this. It just like in my heart it became so apparent and I just started crying. The feeling that that fight is so worth it, you know, it keeps coming to me every now and then when He just does that. So what was that like? Because sometimes it's a struggle, because otherwise then it's so easy, you know, there's no fight if you're always so clear, there's no fight. So when I say I'm fighting, I am being pulled but I choose to stay with God.

You're growing and deepening in your faith.

Yeah. Then why is that?

Does faith need evidence?

No, it doesn't.

Huh?

No.

So does it... okay. So let's say, does it need what we are calling apparency?

No. Not in the way I... like the presence can be tasted or felt.

For there is a different apparency. Yeah, it's very major. It's a different...

Why is this more sometimes like...

No, it energizes because when we get the prasad, when we get the out, then you just...

Yes. Your faith.

So, Father, sometimes this memory energizes the fight for subsequent days like that. So He gives those just to make you go on because it can feel very difficult, but I remember that and I just put my foot down, you know, like that. So that's... it comes as a memory and it's not just a memory, it's alive in me. It's alive as memory, I don't say that.

Okay, but where is the fight happening? Neat. The fight is not happening in the physical realm. Just the Mahabharat that Arjun is fighting against his attachments by in God's guidance. Where is that happening for Arjun? Of course, there's a battle of Kurukshetra happening.

It's internal.

But it's happening internally. But the mind is one player in that battle. No, it's happening in a way in the antahkarana, in our soul. We can see that's good enough for that balance. But it's not just in the sense that... it's not just within that one because the presence of those who are fighting along with you energizes us also inside there to carry on the fight.

Yes. So the Mahabharat history can be taken at the physical level. It can be taken at the deeper level as well.

Father, then it is like this. So can I say this because I've been pulled to David so much the last few days and many times when this fight is happening, I feel that that is energizing me. Like, that's why we watch like each one.

It's not dead. It's so alive and God brought him to me because I need him right now.

Absolutely.

And it just works inside like that. All of us. And that's what I meant. Do we need to look far to find evidence of being beloveds of God? He's sending us specific quotes. He's sending us books. He's sending us things to see. He's controlling our feeds on social media. He's doing all if we turn towards Him. Otherwise, we know who's controlling the feeds on social media. But imagine the level of care He's putting into our growth every step of the way.

Absolutely. And it just works inside like that, for all of us. And that's what I meant. Do we need to look far to find evidence of being beloveds of God? He's sending us specific quotes. Yes, He's sending us books. He's sending us things to see. He's controlling our feeds on social media. He's doing all if we turn towards Him. Otherwise, we know who's controlling the feeds on social media. But imagine the level of care He's putting into our growth every step of the way. How does the book come? I was not spiritual. I was an atheist. I went to buy an astrology book. You see, how did the book come? Then exactly what you need comes. How much every step of the way does He guide us? He will not let even the most measly servant in His house—who is much beyond a king in this world—it doesn't have to be an outer king. There is no... so we believe anything untoward can happen to servants of God.

Father, can you talk more on this faith?

It's very tough to talk more about that which is just... how do we know He's here? I feel His love, you see, which can be a felt love, but sometimes that outpouring is not there. Again, God is never like a genie, you know? So whenever we want love, we just go. So it's not, you know, it's not a... what is that machine? We put the coin and like a jukebox, but whatever for food and all that—vending machine. So God is not a vending machine of goodies. So, so many times without evidence which we can hold phenomenally, we need to turn to Him and we find that He's there, but not in any way which can be explained or expressed. Like, how do you know He's there? Are you feeling something? No, not really. Are you seeing that, you know, Ananta says both phenomenal and non-phenomenal is the light of God's presence in your heart? Are you sensing that? Um, I don't know. I don't think so. Then how are you saying He's there? So that 'how' cannot be answered. But in a way, we are used to it.

I've taken that example, very sometimes live example, of the fact that you could be upset with your children. You may not be feeling love for them. You may be angry as much as you love your children. Say, of course, are you feeling that love now? No. Not the felt love, but I know I love them. Is that from memory? No, it's not. Yeah. This to rely on that insight which is most natural and yet most unexplainable and phenomenal—you see, that is faith. Not the idea of faith which is that, 'Oh, I just convince myself God is here and I operate from that conviction.' You see, which as far as thoughts go may not be the worst thoughts to have, but that is not faith. That may lead to deepening of faith. But faith itself is just a confidence in His presence without needing the evidence or without needing my belief or conviction. Also just not just pretense or not just brainwashing.

Brainwashing, conviction, all of this stuff. It's not a position. And yet maybe the highest, truest position is not a mental position. Otherwise, we would not turn also. Would not turn out because we are so flimsy, you know, in the sense that if he did not find... if he turned and He's not there, He knows this one will stop turning for myself. I'm seeing, so He knows that.

And but sages have told us it is where He delights to stay. It's not... they've not said it's His compulsion, like now He's the Father, He has to be there. He delights to stay. You see, so that delight gave me so much joy to hear that He delights to stay in my heart, in the core of my soul, in the core of my Antahkarana. He delights to stay. And where are they speaking from? This faith. This faith, you see, they've not found some presidential suite, you know, inside the heart where God is presiding. Truth comes from God and we are shown. That's why to say that we are not seeing through our eyes but through the eyes of the Atma within. No, we do in the sense that it is the Atma's curriculum, but we follow the curriculum, you see. But we cannot grow in it by ourselves, but we grow in it by turning, by going to the classroom again and again. Exactly. It's a virtuous quality which is taught by God. It can come only through... okay. So let's look at it this way. When we come to an insight about the truth, whose insight is it? God has given it to us. You see, can I do it by myself? I can't. And yet it is given to us as disciples. Yes.

What is offered when we turn is His grace, of course. But then that is the dangerous territory. Everything is only His will, but we have to die. It wasn't me turning. It was just purely His grace. I cannot say that I turn. I've said this before to some of you that in His mercy He gives you the fruit in advance. You see, you hire a new employee today and you give them the salary first. That is faith in us also. I forgot. So when these... I'll continue with the word 'fight.' I like that word. So that when we are fighting and He's not apparent, but fighting in that faith, it's like He's testing me. Like He's growing my muscle that I'm not there for any taste, but I'm there because I just love Him. That's all. And I want to be with him. No, that's... it's not about the...

It's very subtle, but I love in the book of Job where even Satan had to take God's permission before doing anything to God's good child. So in that way, we can look at it as it's a Maya attack, a mind attack, but also God's grace. If this is happening to me, it cannot be without His knowledge and He's never a helpless observer. So many dimensions to this learning. No problem. There's no linearity to it. So many layers in which it can be met. Yeah.

I've been watching the Yunus show thanks to... and he's just... Yunus has just joined the... I haven't seen it, so but you can... no, just one story. He's just joined the darga and he's left... he was a judge. He was appointed as... he's a very learned man and he was appointed as a judge of this locality or village or whatever. And he leaves all that and he's joined the darga because his heart is like pulled to the Sheikh, but he has a lot of pride and all. So the first thing the Sheikh asks him to do is gives him the responsibility of cleaning the toilets and the rooms and all that. He's anyways burning. Yeah. But then Father, after a few days, he tells him that if you're okay with it, can I give you one more thing to do? And he says that from now onwards, if anybody asks you anything, you will reply, 'I don't know anything.' And from morning to evening, Father, he is burning inside. But the next morning somebody comes to his room and he says, 'Did you sleep well?' and he says, 'I don't know.' And like how we were speaking of how David has come to teach Radha so many things, I feel like just to hear that for me was so... because this whole topic with the kids and the control and it's just... was so hard-hitting to just hear him say from morning to evening. He's just saying...

That's very strong. 'I don't know' is taken to be foolish in this world if you don't know something. Yeah. So he was assigned as a judge in that territory where the supreme master lives. So when he decides to learn under that Sufi master, people come to the Sufi master with the disputes, right? So he's always there and he's so eager to solve that problem, yeah, because that pride's still there, you know? And then he one day goes to the master and says, 'You know, I can help you with that to solve these problems of people.' So then he decides to tell him, 'You know, now today onwards until I tell you, you will just say: I don't know.' So that hurts his ego initially, but later on it feels like, 'You know, I have to unlearn everything.' So basically the master wants to teach him to unlearn what he has learned so the new wisdom can enter into his heart. 'I don't know.' It's so important to unlearn first to come to the master. They say like that, they speak Urdu in the show. This is beautiful stuff to watch.

You know what we should do? Instead of discussing the duty, you know, of Ram Ji, Christianity and Islam and Sufism, we should fight. Wouldn't that be a better option? Please, if this is taken separately, it will sound weird. But this is what the world is doing. It's so strange. So much beauty to be found in every way. It is what Richard Rohr said. It's like instant gratification. Instant gratification. How to feel better about yourself? Just the others are worse. We instantly become better, but never any less. And it's a very convenient, like, quick-fix solution to find that rest. Who's going to come to true inside out? Well done. See, I don't know where... whatever that... it's a dialect. So by you know... yeah, that's coming. That's might do. Coming. Okay.